finding confidence as a masc lesbian (PEP TALK!!!)
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- Опубліковано 7 сер 2024
- random special episode today. i get lots of comments & DMs on my tiktok/instagram (@claire_holt12 btw) about confidence as a masc lesbian & honestly this is one of my favorite things to talk about because my confidence used to be DOWNNNNNNN SO LOWWWWWW and now it has transformed completely. it takes guts to walk around wearing guy clothes and being out and proud and it didn't come easy so i have some pointers and also just big sister advice here.
if you're watching this and have struggled with confidence please know - IT GETS BETTER! so much better oh my GODDDD! hang in there.
and here's a pep talk
like & subscribe
and let me know yall's thoughts and experiences!
00:00 - intro
01:09 - my experience
02:44 - you're not ugly u just don't have gay friends
03:42 - beauty standards are DIFFERENT for us
05:34 - don't be confident. be authentic
08:39 - radical self-acceptance
09:32 - gradually increasing little risks (clothes)
11:17 - i like her!
11:50 - find the gays
13:00 - stop i'll cry (pep talk)
16:02 - "selfishness"
16:56 - HOPEEEEEEE!
“There is a silent audience of people who are watching you who feel safer because you are in the room” I needed to hear this
100% true🙏
claire u need a podcast
Love that idea but to definitely have video form as well!
I really really really believe that butch isn't something you become - it's something that you are. so many of us try and push it down and be so uncomfortable in our own skin for so long because we think we're supposed to. i remember my bff's mom in middle school was a masc lesbian and i remember just seeing her and feeling like. a solidarity. and i had no idea why. because i was 12 and trying so hard to be "pretty" like my friends. it's crazy!!!
The different beauty standards one is soooooo real. Like my best friend is straight and she would never in a million years wear 99% of what I wear, and I wouldn’t feel myself at all if I dressed like her. But the point is whooooo cares?? Do we look COMPLETELY different? Yes. Does it matter because we’re going for different vibes? Absolutely not
Thank you for these words. I have always been more masculine presenting but a couple months ago I cut my hair and I was misgendered more than once. I was at the gym and told I couldn’t use the girls bathroom. It made me insecure and now I am trying to work on feeling comfortable being a short haired masc.
Never heard it put better into words. I thought I was ugly for a loooonnng time and it didn’t occur to me for the longest time that I was going for the wrong kind of attractive.
And it showed. I wasn’t cute bc I didn’t think I was. I have sense realized I am sexy as fuck but it was an odd experience
This is so real!! I would feel so sad when I asked the girlies if my outfit was cute before we went out but they really don't have the vision and I got so many compliments from my community once I was out and doing my thing. Do not seek validation from people you think can't dress fr, even if they just dress basic. They won't be out of the box like you
I’m 21 and have been dressing masc my whole life. I’m very glad that I went to quite a liberal school , but the ostracising feeling you talk about is felt regardless of where you are or how old you are. I never had anyone irl or online who was doing what you’re doing now, and I’m so glad that we’re able to see so much more of this content in general nowadays. To anyone who is one of those super awkward teens just like I was, it gets so much better.
Thank you Claire for being such a great role model
Im older than you 30 lol but the fact that you realized and learn this at your age is phenomenal. I literally have just understood who I am and have had to romanticize my life - and fall in love with me again. Im from NYC (which is sooo accepting) but also comes with alot of pressure to fit a mold. Im moving to Seatle next month soo looking forward to the switch.
2:50 bruh the way I subscribed so fast😭. I was already ostracized by being gay so I literally loathed the fact that now I’m going to be deemed unattractive just because that’s a stereotype that’s attached to being a lesbian. “Oh she’s gay because she’s too ugly to find a man” or how I noticed that society makes women “invisible” to them, when they don’t carry themselves a certain way or meet the beauty standards. I thought I was strange for wanting that validation from family for the longest time until I heard you say it right now😂 because to me it justified the fact that I was gay. So people would go “she’s attractive but she just happens to be gay” & not the other way around.
thank you so much for this video and for all the advice. it truly touched my heart and I related to sooo many things you said. over the last years, I´ve been trying to find myself through dressing masc and finding my own style. being confident while doing this seems to be hardest part of all of it, especially when you know you're family/friends (and society overall) would rather prefer seeing you dressing femme and following the heterosexual norms of beauty. i always struggle to dress masculine without feeling like I'm taking up too much space or without feeling somehow wrong for doing it...thank you so much for the representation and the hope you're giving through your experience and your advice Claire :,)
Thanks for being awesome. If I could have shown my younger self this video, things would be very different :)
thank you, that makes me very happy 🥹
this really hits home. appreciate your content a lot, thank you
great video! radical self-acceptance is the key but man it's so hard after yeas and years of internalized homoophobia and pandering to straight beauty standards. But it will get better with time I guess
I’ve been following you for awhile but I hope you know that the content you make always brightens my day and really is inspiring especially because I want to present queer but am not exactly in a queer city but regardless I hope you know the pep talks and advice you give really do help a lot and give me an hope for the future because I’m reminded it always gets better and that there’s a space for everybody
Thank you for this video! I'm slightly older, also working in tech, and it's soo reassuring to hear all of this :)
Thank you thank you thank you! I’m also 24 and came out almost 2 years ago and I’m now trying to live life as my truest self. Your videos give me so much hope and have inspired me to present the way I want and be the person I wanna be!
Thank you! It’s a journey 🫶🏻✨
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! stop thank you so much for this fr because jeez ive been struggling trying to be preety girly fem but when i really want to be both fem and MASc UGH thank u so much girl i can't wait to really be my authentic self. gosh thanks so much for this
please never stop making videos like this.
We need a chat between you and Jade Fox, ASAP.
simply LOVE your content, it isn't "just" looks and stuff 'cause you do it with heart and with a purpose in your mind and this purpose is very clear in this video. thanks for helping the baby lesbians out there (I'm one of them haha)
This was a very good video. Thanks Claire.
Thank you for making this video!
Literally YES TO EVERY. SINGLE. THING. SAID.
Like damn I feel and think the same yes I get glared at and stuff but if there's someone out there a kid a grown up whatever who sees me and feels safe then it's all worth it and also I love myself and I accept myself more than I have ever done in my whole life. We're here We're Queer
Thank you so much for this, Claire. I am batteling with this everyday it always feels like i owe all these straight people 'who don't even get it' . That everyone should find me attractive. I am out here taking baby steps at becoming. Now my mum literally walks into the men's section with me without tge look of disgust. And I am attractive(most times) to me. I've had short hair all my life almost.
I very much agree with the progressive overload concept of taking little risks with clothing. It's difficult for other people around you to digest a sudden shift but gradually taking one flannel you really like or a short haircut or a mens' pant is a lot more transitional than changing your entire closet snd just is more sustainable.
I love you for this. There is truly a need for more representation and you are a solid support. Thank you.
I agree with hometowns holding you back on becoming your true self. It’s taken me so long to finally try and become my masculine self and thanks to you Claire you’re so much help with your styles Tik tok videos and just advice in general. I just wish I had more queer friends and masculine friends.
thank you so much Claire
Loved the video 😊 I’m also from Alabama so I can relate to the struggles.
Love you❤
COMMENT SPAM TO DO SOMETHING TO THE ALGORITHM this channel better get more subs omg
Love this 🫶🏻
thank you :)
The use of ebonics is cringe, but overall really solid advice and its stuff I'm finally learning later in life
it really feels like growing up within a different species sometimes, in the way that most ppl see everything completely different from you
Claire, not to be dramatic or anything, but you have changed my life and showed me that its totally okay to be myself. Stumbling across your content at a time when I was all over the place trying to find who I was really was marked the start of my journey to becoming the me I've always wanted for myself and for that, I cant thank you enough!! 🫶
oh my god i’d have so many things to say i’m like- MY HEART is exploding rn this is SO good and well said i literally screamed at the end like LITERALLY not even joking LMAOOO (i’m gonna dm you on insta bc i have to tell you a lot of things and that’s alright if you won’t reply!)
Love you❤