Another thought too: the mentality of “wasting” an outfit on a day where only you see it…what an insult that is to yourself! Oh it’s only me, I couldn’t possible deserve to dress nicely for “no reason”. It’s like the opposite of what you said - actively giving off energy that you don’t care about yourself. Fascinating stuff! I’ve decided as you have that doing things for me is more than enough reason!!
I've always thought the same thing when single people complain about cooking for one. So insulting to tell yourself that you're not worth being cared for or nourished.
The main reason I love this channel is that it has ceased to be purely about beauty, but rather the philosophical way of applying beauty and art to life
The key for me was dresses. Realising that i don't enjoy coordinating tops and bottoms, so dresses and jumpsuits were actually *less* effort than casual clothes for me 😂 in the community I'm in they come accross as a little posh and elevated- but knowing I'm getting away with less daily effort makes me feel like I'm getting away with something in the most delicious way
Don't worry about that. It's better to wear the item often (even to the point where it falls apart) & feel amazing in it every time. If the day comes that it's no longer wearable/salvageable then just appreciate all the value you got from it & find a new item. Gratitude & appreciation will always help you overcome the scarcity mindset. 😊
Yes! I had a favorite pair of leggings, but I rarely wore them because I didn’t want them to wear out. A few years later, I found them in the bottom of the drawer, and they were itchy and felt awful as the fabric and spandex had degraded over time and from non-use. I think of them often when I am tempted to save something for special occasions - it often has the opposite effect than what I want!
Oh, yes, I was there. I love my beautiful clothes, but I love myself more than clothes! If I want to wear this beautiful piece today, than let it be: I will be happier from this and I will appreciate this piece for making me happy. And what makes me shift my mind was things have limits to wear and use. And if I dont wear it today it just will spoiled unused tomorrow.
I absolutely love this topic. You hit on something with talking about your clothes languishing in the closet. I had a beautiful gown in my closet that I had only been able to wear once because "I did not have an occasion to wear it". After considering this, I asked my husband if we could have a date night together. We cooked a favorite meal, and I dressed up in that gown (he dressed in a suit) and we had an upscale dinner date at home. I couldn't have felt more regal if I had been at the Four Seasons. This theory of not keeping something new for "someday" is a great idea, not just for clothes or jewelry, but for all the items you own. Why don't we wear our expensive perfume more often? It's like we're saving the best we have for a special day and life in made up of more Wednesdays than special days. Or maybe it's a way to make every Wednesday special?
I put on a really cute polished outfit to meet my boyfriend and his coworkers for drinks. I got there and everyone was dressed really casually, I then felt very silly and that I looked like I had just come from work. This was a really helpful video for me that I can wear put together outfits and that these thoughts are just constructs that have been put on us
You probably looked amazing but it's the story we tell ourselves internally that's so important. I used to hate being overdressed for an occasion, where I thought it would make it look like I was "trying too hard" but now I'm completely comfortable with being overdressed in any situation. It shows I made an effort & I'm ok with that.😊
I'm always overdressed! As my Mum says "why dress down just to match other people. Better to be the best dressed in the room than the most underdressed"
I love this because my parents come from a culture where you don’t wear “outside” clothes when you’re at home, so as much as I love my more polished clothes it seems very alien to wear them around the house, even when working from home. But I’ve been investing more in nicer loungewear and in putting my loungewear together in ways that feel good, and it’s made me stand up a little straighter even on days when I’m just doing laundry. I also put on makeup almost every day, I just can’t resist seeing it in my bathroom and starting to play with it every morning. Plus I feel very chic walking the dog in my matching sweatsuit, sneakers and oversize wool overcoat.
Your wonderful comment made me think of the 30 hours I just spent adjust my 10 new pairs of sweat pants (notably removing the elastic at the bottom as I like a standard straight line at the hem (no gathers)). (note clipping out the 12" x 2" embroidered "Calvin Klein" took forever).
One of the constants of my life is people asking me why I'm so "dressed up", and/or who I'm doing it for. I was always confused by the question because it never dawned on me to think about other people. Which is actually staunchly out of character for me. It's probably the reason I love playing dress up so much. It's always been a pure expression of my identity, undaunted and untainted by the influence of others. I'm so brave and completely confident when it comes to dressing in a way I struggle to be in other areas of my life sometimes. If I could have like half the self assurance I have about dressing with everything else, I would be invincible.
this comment is so completely relatable. I do whatever the fuck I want with my clothes, but am somehow not nearly as free when it comes to other areas of life
This is so interesting to see how the same underlying mentality can manifest so differently in dressing - either an extension of the orientation towards external validation (my case), or quite the contrary, the precious area of oneself's expression and confidence. The psychology of fashion and dressing is fascinating. Sure, it seems simple and obvious, and easy to be taken for granted, but Hannah's video and comments like these make it seem so fresh and palpable.
also--while we're on the topic of dressing focusing on yourself first, if you're interested in style systems at all, you make want to check out the Style Key system by Style Thoughts by Rita (she's on UA-cam). the system primarily revolves around the mental processes of how we get dressed. trying to sum it up succinctly, her system has two axes (left/right, and up/down) and four quadrants (left-up, left-down, right-up, right-down). the left and right component has to do with whether the "starting point" of your styling comes from your internal world (left) or the external world (right). the up and down component has to do with whether your execution of that concept/inspiration is aimed inwards, to support how you feel (down) or aimed outwards, to express yourself or convey a message to other people (up). based on the description you gave of your styling process, it sounds like you might be left-up like me, or you could potentially also be left-down. anyways I just wanted to share because it's fascinating to see the mental part of styling that isn't just seen in the clothes themselves.
Not only do I love to watch Hannah’s videos, but I always want to read everyone’s comments bc they bring me comfort and inspo. Thank u Hannah and the community ❤😊
Ah! A Sadie-moment of comfort is just what this childless cat lady needed! I have been struggling with wearing my "best options". They are often hung into the closet for special occasions that never arise. This is slowly changing, because I had to learn that moths and the breakdown of fibers just happens and not all clothes will wait for me. The bigger question for me is why I am holding off on my best life, though.
Over years of therapy, I've settled into patterns of "subtle energetic care" for myself too. I figured out a hair care routine that's effortless and has my loose, open hair looking pleasing to me everyday. I like to think of it as: I deserve "niceness", and not "nice things". I want to keep separate the way I value myself and the way things are valued in this world. I thought about this because diamonds are a painful reminder of the cost of beauty. That elegance is a purchase for most. I learnt from you to think of elegance as ease of being. Even in the pursuit of owning fewer nicer things, of taking care of myself, I grapple with consumption and how it intrudes into my sense of self. If a purchasable thing could make me feel better about myself, where do I draw the line? When is it materialism?
Working from home and dragging through a Friday, you inspired me to go switch my old hoodie for the new cashmere one and put on jewelry. And I feel so much better about life.
I just wanted to give a quick THANK YOU shout out to y'all. I commented a few videos back about how I would love if you'd include which links had size inclusive clothes because it was disheartening when none of your gorgeous suggestions were available to me. And YOU DID IT! I honestly did not expect that! I know it adds labor to the already long job of the description boxes, but I can't tell you how much it has meant to me today. Not only has it made the shopping fun, but also it's just made me feel seen and valued at a time when that is in short supply. So thank you!!! ❤❤❤
I have been slowly making my wardrobe into a muted gothicpunk-ish wardrobe of my dreams (I call it romancepunk--a mix of 90s/00s vampire, darkest academia, and graphic shirts). I am finding so much joy in honoring the vibes I so badly wanted as a teen. Getting dressed in an outfit and donning my new signature makeup makes me feel so much better mentally--I also work from home and got in the habit of not getting dressed😅
Honestly Hannah. You always make me think about how I'm living my life and what assumptions I wake up with each morning. You make me remember being a philosophy major and actually thinking about life, the universe, and everything!
Growing up in France, it is totally normal to dress everyday. For me dressing is almost an act of personal hygiene. Just like taking a shower for example.
Hannah, thank you so much for Wednesday’s video. It helped so much with feeling less isolated and alone. Love seeing the brain smoothing fashion videos. ❤❤
Yes! The concept of "its the same either way" makes so much sense! I adore wearing flowy dresses because they are so comfortable. Of course, people associate dresses with "dressing up", but it's just comfortable. It's literally a singular article of clothing I can throw on and look and feel put together, but still be effortlessly dressed. Just wear the clothes. Sometimes, the most fantastic style comes from laziness and the desire for polished comfort.
i personally feel like i absolutely have to change out of my “out in the world” clothes when i get home, but i’ve been trying to have my “home” clothes also make me feel nice ❤
😊Me too...on both points. Don't like wearing my "outside" clothes inside. I only do that when I am planning to go right back out again🔁. 🥰Grew up w/a family of floor trolls too. We had perfectly good sofas & such, but could be quite content sitting or laying on pillows to play games, watch TV, or do our hobbies. Otherwise, we could be found curled up in a cosy chair. I can't be comfy when worried about creasing or crinkling. 🥿Plus, we were a shoes off, socks🧦, or indoor slippers🩴 on, at the door🚪 too. Our inside surfaces were kept cleaner as a result of this habit too. 😉Hannah once talked about having lounge clothes. A tier of clothing before pajamas. Something you could actually be seen in should someone drop by unexpectedly or you needed to dash out to the car or mailbox. That idea still resonates w/me. 🤔Also need to find a more suitably soft & stylish uniform for that purpose. Maybe some elevated knit or linen 2-pc sets or a handful of one & done dresses for leisure. 💚Bridget from Cali☘️ (using my pal's YT acct)
Yes! I need bras that I don't mind wearing at home because I know I look better and my clothes fit better with one, plus I can answer my door if I want to.
I started wearing skirts a couple years ago, full, knee-length, with some swish to help add that classic hourglass silhouette to my fairly rectangular figure. I didn't really change anything else. The tops stayed the same, but just adding a swishy skirt upped the entire vibe. I've since added some dresses and nicer tops and all, but basically it came down to skirts. There's something my DNA finds very satisfying about that brush of fabric with every step. And yes--natural fibers! Linen, wool, silk, cotton. I keep saying I'm a natural fiber snob, but really it's because they have so many advantages over man-made. (The fact that I knit definitely helps my sweater wardrobe!) Thanks for your content. Love your deep dives.
Same! ❤ I stopped wearing jeans because they made me feel grey. After a while other pants started to feel like the lesser option in comparison to skirts. I love the feminine feeling they give me and how they look with my tops.
Absolutely! I work in a home office with my husband. I get dressed every day… and I choose trousers or a dress. Jeans are not comfortable to sit in all day. The only curve-ball is that we moved to the country so I also have outside chores (like feeding the chickens) to do so my clothes also need a certain ruggedness to them. My favourites are cargo-style trousers or corduroy pants that I pair with quality sweaters or blouses. Always jewelry and a little makeup. When I worked in a corporate environment in my 20’s I got DRESSED UP for work. My life now as a rural mom working from a home office requests a different wardrobe… but I still put myself together. ❤
The “nexus of beauty, comfort and durability” might be what draws some people to historical fashion. When clothes were more expensive to make, it was essential to make them versatile and practical. After hearing people sing the praises of natural fibres, I’ve started wearing wool and noticing how it feels, and I love it. It regulates my temperature so well and resists wrinkling or sagging. We seem to think of wool, linen and silk as “delicate”, dry-clean-only fabrics, but I find them more washable and durable than the man-made fibres that imitate them. If the garments are designed well, they can be washed in water and look good as new (just check the tag). It’s too bad that modern clothing makes you choose between either practical or polished outfits, but not both. We can have both by selecting thoughtfully made items for our wardrobes.
i always have a hard time successfully washing wool silk and linen pieces that i thrift, vintage or modern. For me the only surefire fabric is 100% cotton (esp in my hot climate)
I relate to this. My family are all casual dressers. I work from home. But I have always dressed in a comfy yet dressy way. I like clothes and have always cared about colour, shape, and texture. My wardrobe makes me happy.
This video is a DELIGHT, the way it clicks is unreal. I strated crying when you said your outro because you're really always on point and you encourage us in so many ways. Love from Lebanon, Middle East ♥️
I do the same. Up early, mild sports, shower with good all over skin care and then one hour to dress up beautifully plus full beat of make-up and jewelry. Every day. When I go out I wear my Clarks and the coat/jacket I love and that makes me feel powerful. Took me a while to figure it out, but I did and I know my life is better for it.
I needed this lovely distraction today. The Sadie cameo was a sweet bonus. The mouse experiment sounds fascinating. The labels that others give us and that we give ourselves are powerful forces and we can use that information to improve our lives. Sending hope and peace to all!
I struggle with “wasting an outfit” mostly because I don’t have a good wardrobe. I’m working on that with your help! I love the thought process you provide and the wonderful fashion advice. Such a fantastic combination!
Simplifying my wardrobe has helped a lot with this too! When you love everything in your closet, it's definitely easier to put clothes together that you like and feel good in!
Hearing you describe that childhood urge to express yourself through clothing and adornment is so healing for my inner child. Your channel has helped me so much to embrace the expressive person I’ve always been. 💛
"I want to want to...." this is the most clear, eloquent, and (most important) insightful definition of the "fantasy self". And it ain't just about clothes. As always, Hannah lightly tosses out such important principles disguised as being about (relatively) frivolous things.
Thank you. I’ve just retired from many years of teaching. I’ve been trying to figure out this very issue of “saving “ my clothes for work. I love my clothes and I want to wear them. You’ve inspired mme!
I had a similar conversion with wool trousers specifically. I am constantly cold and at some point I realized wool pants are super warm and comfortable, so I started just wearing them around the house and out as everyday pants. Instant glow-up and I feel like my style is more defined and more me.
You took this in a vey different direction than I was expecting. My first thought, since another person was involved, was about comparison, shaming, consensus dressing, and if there is any responsibility to make another more comfortable vs dimming your own light. I have a very complicated relationship with clothes that involves bullying and deprivation, among other things. My goal for years was, and still is, to some degree, "effortlessly cool". "Trying" to look good was met worth bullying until high school. In high school, I deeply admired my best friend's confident and dramatic sense of style. I believed she dressed for herself, and I knew it bolstered her fragile self esteem. I encouraged her to do so, and in the beginning, she encouraged me. Once she registered that people might compare us, as we moved into or late teens and 20's, things changed. As long as I kept to my more causal style, and she was the "better dressed" one, no problem. If I worked up the nerve to upgrade even one iota, she treated it as an act of sabotage. It took me a very long time to acknowledge this, and realize that she had gone from dressing for herself to dressing to outshine everyone around her. The spotlight was for her, and only her, and her clothes had gone from a tool for self expression to a weapon. I think once other people enter the equation, it gets complicated. Comparison happens. It shouldn't, but it does. If there is an unspoken consensus to dress at a certain level of effort/ formality, regardless of how pure or innocent one's motives in violating that consensus, there can be consequences do doing so. Navigating other's insecurities comes into play. It shouldn't, but it does. Thay being said, I don't believe we should dim our light for others. I want to shine, and I want others to shine with me. I try to dress for myself. Some days, it's a struggle, with old fears rising up to throttle me. Others, I put on something lush, step out into the world, and shine.
@amberglow7612 Thanks, AmberGlow! Yes, I got a lot of therapy, and that friendship ended the first time I enforced healthy boundaries. Making progress with the other stuff, and only hang with people who want to shine together. Just a little triggered by the topic, apparently!
Over the last two years I have seen such a transformation in both my style and my mentality. I started elevating my everyday outfits- firstly at work and then it trickled into my casual off duty days. Now it's completely natural for me to dress in what I would once have considered 'fancier' clothes every day. When I make an effort to look put together (although I don't consider it making an effort any more, I thoroughly enjoy the entire processs of outfit planning & styling- the creative process lights me up inside) my whole demeanor & mindset feels more confident, productive and at ease. It's like dressing better has given me permission to take up more space in the world- to be comfortable with being seen & heard rather than blending into the background. I even feel that people who I used to find somewhat intimidating (where internally I felt I wasn't good enough to be on the same level as them) now I no longer feel that. I've been doing a lot of inner work on stepping into my divine feminine energy & reading & meditating but I feel the power of clothes/personal style has had a profound effect.
I am doing the Mr. Rogers (changing my clothes whenever I leave the house) but I do put thought into and love my house clothes just as much as my outside clothes.
Thank you for putting into words things that have been living in my brain for a while but could never quite express coherently! I'm still working on making my wardrobe feel exactly like you described but I have always erred on the side of "formal" and went through a phase of trying it out, feeling a bit like the odd one out, and then finally becoming quite confident about it, however, the last few years felt like a step back (for various reasons) and I started to feel a little self conscious again. But hearing you say "it's all the same", a thought that keeps occurring to me but keeps getting lost in self-consciousness, helps cement it all again! Find things you love and wear them!
For me the clothing type that transformed my casual style was flowy midi & maxi length skirts! Comfortable, not constricting, can transition between seasons, and always a bit more polished than sweatpants. Also, Sadie is so precious! If only all clothing could be as soft and comforting and full of love as our favorite cats
To quote one of my personal role-models: ”Appearance is a way of showing respect.” And that includes to yourself. Dressing well often leads to feeling well. I had a similar lightbulb moment when I re-discovered maxi skirts. I don’t like jeans either, instead I’ve fully embraced skirts and long-sleeved, fitted tops. I feel great. I often hear how ”fancy” I look, or ”Are you going to a party?” Nope, just me on a regular Tuesday. 🙂 Thanks for the thought-provoking video!
I know i am late to this video but it has gripped me. I worked in an office setting with a dress code for 10 years. 6 months ago i took a new job in which i now work from home. The experience of dressing and finding my new method and wants from dressing and “the dressing ritual” has been so interesting. This is so fun to hear about and so fun to compare and contrast our experiences.
I'm really on board with all of this, after many decades of having the phrase "all dressed up and nowhere to go" ringing in my ears. I'm chronically and unpredictably ill, so sometimes I'll put myself together with the intention of going out and "having a life" around other people, but by the time I've finished my hair and makeup, I've used up my energy for the day. So the phrase hits me in the sad, regretful and longing parts of myself. I also use getting dressed nicely for the day as a barometer for my mental health, whether I plan to go anywhere or not (and it's usually not) and then the inner voice will use the phrase as a criticism for that choice of resource expenditure as something pointless and selfish, when I could have used those resources for something else, something that benefits more people such as a tidier house. But recently I've been trying to challenge that automatic thinking, because I'm not sure where it came from but it certainly doesn't reflect what I'd say to others. I have people in my life that I need to model positive self-talk for, but even more so I've realized I need to model it for myself! And now, slowly, I am finding myself more able to embrace ideas such as the ones you generously share, and make looking wonderful in my own eyes and even *only* for my own eyes an endeavour I can truly consider worthwhile.
I love this, as someone else who has a chronic illness that sort of dictates how I can dress I also find it really hard to spend my energy on looking nice. It’s like im housebound so no one will see it but you’re so right about following my own advice when it comes to myself as well. ❤
As one who is the same, may I suggest " Counting Spoons". It's a practice of assigning energy to a "spoon" and knowing how many "spoons" you have for the day It's a practice I have done for over thirty years. When I first started I had one spoon (taking a shower), that was honesty my energy for the day. To help keep my spirits up, I got nice jammies and slippers. It worked. I started wearing lip stain (as it does wear off fast or transfer to fabrics). Most of my clothing has a pocket to keep lip products and a couple other necessities making the day easier. For full make-up takes a few hours doing a bit at a time...but it's worth it. This all leads me to this. On good days be ready just in case. The energy it takes to get ready at the last minute zaps away many spoons. If you're ready to go when a friend calls or whatever, you'll not only be more likely to say yes, you'll have a good time.
Honestly I get the obsession with diamonds. I remember how I felt the first time I saw a real sapphire of high quality. It felt like a tear in reality leading to an impossible blue universe. ❤
This hits home… I got a wow today from the grocery store clerk… she thought I was going somewhere nice…and all that was different this day was I decided to blow dry my hair but I had on the same everyday casual clothes! Sometimes a small change makes a difference…❤
I find jeans horribly uncomfortable and don’t own any. I have chronic pain stuff so I wear dresses and skirts most days. People always ask why I’m dressed up and I’m like…I feel like I’m wearing a night gown instead of being trussed up like a chicken!
Yes! I feel like ME when I get dressed for work but I've been struggling to work out how to bring that into my Mum days. Thanks for giving me a push to wear the same clothes to the playground and embrace it. I have a relatively smart casual workplace so this isn't actually that much of a stretch.
I have always LOVED well-tailored, wide-leg trousers!! I’d happily wear your classic pinstripe wide-leg trousers any and every day.❤ To me, they’re one of those timeless classics that never go out of style, and generally they’re pretty comfortable for everyday wear. They’ll always elevate your look! My ideal personal style is beautifully tailored “menswear for women” with lots of feminine, bohemian-style touches. Think of classy, wide-leg trousers with a matching, well fitted vest, a softly draped, floral or paisley blouse, with either a gorgeous scarf tied around my head in a complementary color, or flowers in my hair, and with either big shiny hoop earrings, or sparkly chandelier style earrings (I love statement earrings!)
Trousers have completely changed my entire wardrobe!!! I work in a coffee shop part time and for myself part time. Trousers are comfy yet polished and I reach for them multiple times a week. I’m always the most “dressed up” barista😂
Your point at the end about making sure that your 'nice' things are hardy enough to be worn repeatedly is so true. I am a big fan of Viscose for this reason. Drapes like silk but can go in the washing machine fine. 👌
This reminds me of my college days, when I had something huge, stay-up-all-night-writing, due. I would dress up to do that assignment because I realized that if I thought I looked hot, it affected my performance on getting that assignment done. It gave me that extra confidence and energy.
I didn't grow up with close family or friends that prioritized putting effort into their wardrobes. Watching your videos is like talking to a big sister ❤️ I am obsessed with trousers and love the refinement they bring to a casual, everyday look.
So grateful for you, Hannah, for bringing some much needed beauty and calm into the world. The poem you posted on Instagram today was sublime. Sending love to you and yours. 🙏💙
I agree with people saying they sometimes feel weird in outside clothes when they get home- something I do is put a housecoat/ dressing gown over my clothes which helps me feel like I don't get outside germs in my house but also I am ready to go in a second
Yes, yes, yes. Thanks for your original thoughts. You know, I realised I’ve upped my game too, and it was because you recommended some ‘go to’ pants you love. I bought similar (in Australia) on the back of your comment. My wardrobe, nay, my dressing, has transformed in the same way you describe, thank you Hannah.
Thank you again for this thought-provoking video! And thanks for letting us sound off on your channel. I had an experience yesterday that reminded me of yours, and I wanted to share it. Had lunch with a friend, and one of the first things she said was, “oh! You’re wearing makeup and jewelry!“I absolutely did not know how to respond to that! I’m having dinner with another friend tonight, and I found myself thinking, should I not wear my sparkly eyeshadow? Will it make my friend uncomfortable? Nooo! We do not need to think this way! People’s comments and judgments about looking nice for “no good reason “are a reflection on them, and it doesn’t mean we need to change what we’re doing to make ourselves happy!
Well, effort-wise it's not the same to me. Although it might seem so, but wearing nice clothes at home means more laundry and handling all the stuff. If my less nice clothes get soiled during household activities I can put them on high temperature wash and nothing will happen to them... And I don't know how ppl avoid staining their house wear badly... Also I haven't found a fabric soft enough to replace my fuzzy PJ's which make me feel so good... I just can't frel comfortable in other fabrics. Ofc, I can't walk out of the house immediately... But I don't need to 😅 Would be nice to find the compromise, tho
@@user-sg8wf5qo9s That was my thought as well. It's not the same if things require ironing or special care. Also, on any given day, I may be doing house projects or working in my garden, and I'm not chancing ruining my nicer clothes with a hole or stain.
Totally agree! I had all these great clothes that went to waste and then I decided that the ones I loved that were comfortable should be worn! The wide legged slacks … so agree!
i was basically today years old when it clicked for me that jeans aren’t supposed to be comfy casual wear. they’re meant for durability for outdoor work. it makes no sense the way people talk ab them as comfortable casual clothes. trousers are many times more comfy for indoors
Thanks Hannah for this video. I’m an artist and commute to my studio each day. I am not a very messy painter generally, however there is the occasional paint splatter. My challenge has been trying to have a set of studio clothes that are not just grubby and frumpy but elevated and comfortable while embracing the possibility of permanent mess. I wear these clothes every day and I’m tired of not feeling my best or looking my best. I needed this video that put it all so succinctly and was a bit of a kick in the butt! Georgia O’ Keefe is a huge inspiration..she lived remotely in the desert and had an amazing sense of style (always black and white only and iconic while effortless looking) it was HER whether anyone lay eyes on her or not.
sacrificing non-grubby clothes to be “paint clothes” is such a struggle!! when i accidentally mess up a cute piece, i’m secretly happy i then have cuter paint clothes >_>
I'm totally working on making changes to my overall wardrobe such that my basics and casuals are nicer and comfier. I have a few nice quality pieces already and I wear them more frequently and get compliments more frequently. Some are hand me downs from my grandma who you remind me of in your polished and put together look and red hair!
A follow up video for dealing with the occasional overdressed feeling this brings? I feel like this is me and in my friend group i am usually the most polished and sometimes it makes social events a little awkward.
dying for that video! i feel like an asshole sometimes because i want others to be into fashion with me… but they have so many self imposed roadblocks to embracing a full style, even the ones who express desire to dress better. it’s disappointing and lonely to me but i don’t want to be forceful or sound like i’m being critical when i talk ab my fashion passions, likes and dislikes. and id like to respond gracefully to criticism for “over dressing” or caring too much ab something “frivolous”
I detest wholeheartedly the modern trend for competitive underdressing. It kills my soul. So much so that I've decided I don't owe people comfortable, if they can't be comfortable with who am, I think it's best we part ways. I'd rather be authentically alone than dim my light to be accepted by others. 2025 is going to be an interesting year for me, I wonder who'll be left at the end of it.
This is so applicable to my life! I started buying clothes from Lucy & Yak, this great sustainable brand based in the UK, a few years ago. A wonderful thing about their clothing is that it is often unapologetically bold, colourful, and full of life, which is rarer for sustainable brands. Not only that, but they heavily emphasise comfort. All the pieces I've bought from them could be considered 'too nice' to lie around the house in, but because they're so comfy and easy to wear, I feel so put together and chic even when I'm just lying on the couch watching TV
This is so great, Hannah! I had a wonderful period of time where I got dressed, including shoes and jewelry, even though I worked from home. It changed because I gained weight, and my clothes didn’t fit well anymore so I resorted to becoming “sweatpants girl.” Even though I have bought new clothes in my correct size, I never got back to getting dressed when I’m going to be only at home. Thank you for inspiring me to do that!! I love your epiphany that “it’s the same!“ it takes the same amount of time to put on a pair of ratty old sweatpants as it takes to put on my favorite jeans. I had that same realization about buying my colors. Usually a garment costs the same no matter what color it is. So I learned what my best colors are, and now I buy them rather than some random color I don’t necessarily love. Thank you for sharing links to your favorite comfortable clothes; I might actually try some trousers. Thank you for teaching us how to take good care of ourselves! 💗
I started practicing intentionally dressing up during COVID lockdowns to keep me sane. In years since I’ve been struggling with depression and there have been days when putting on an outfit served as the one and only „cheer-up”. I savour my little dress-ups every single day. An outfit can truly change one’s life haha
Have you done a video on how to elevate T shirts?? 95% of my closet are T shirts [split between comfortable basics & from concerts I've attended]. They range from fitted to oversized. And I don't have a ton of funds to buy a whole new wardrobe - though I could probably buy a couple new pairs of pants or something along those lines. So, if you haven't done that yet, would that be possible?? It may fall under that "elevated streetwear" notion you mentioned towards the end. 💕 Also, I'm definitely going to pick up your poetry book for my Christmas present to myself!!!!
I love this so much! I'm never going to be a trouser girl, I'm still leggings all the way, but even then totally love the idea of helping yourself feel your best. I can wear my favorite leggings with a sweater and my jewelry and it's so different than an old stained sweatshirt.
Really fabulous video, I wear different things day to day, couldn’t wear jeans at home all day way too uncomfortable ( I’m an artist so work from home studio) I wear joggers (sweat pants) some days trousers on other days depending how I feel. I live in an old house so warm clothing is the most important thing in winter. I always feel better when I make an effort to dress well 😁
You mentioned in a video (a long while back I think) once you that you told yourself you could be "trusted" not to damage your good clothes (and that if you did, well so be it!) and I have to say that it BLEW MY MIND. What you said was entirely responsible for me reassessing my own relationship with my wardrobe, and giving myself permission to wear my nicest things even just at home. I too am now 'dressing better' .... Even though I am always at home and mostly not seeing other people. Once I gave myself permission to wear my "nice" clothes at home, on the couch, WOW. Total game changer! So, thanks Hannah - this video was a fantastic reminder that it's just if not MORE important to dress for myself than others and that it makes me happy when I do 🫶🏼
Trousers have always been my key too. I've dressed very adult from the time I was 16 or so, once I wore less jeans and zip up hoodies. It's easy to look fancy in them. I'm even better in summer because my dress wardrobe is excellent, but it's too cold to wear often.
"It's the same." You summed up what I've felt inside when my coworkers compliment me that I look so put together every day and that it must take me some extraneous effort or I must go out of my way. I thank them but inside I think, it's no effort at all. I don't even think of it.
We start by dressing as the person we want to be, but we're not yet that person. So the clothes feel like a costume, a disguise. You are hiding in those clothes, and you dont want people to see the 'real' you. This is why you never feel like wearing some clothes when no ones looking. Somewhere, the switch happens.. you dress as the person you are, you have become the person you wanted to be. Your clothes are you, there is no separation.
I gave birth almost 2 years ago and since then I have been feeling really different about my body and wardrobe. I want to be more conscious and mindful of what I wear and it's impact on me, my life and environment. My aim is to move to few durable pieces that I actually enjoy wearing. Your videos have been so helpful. I have spent probably last 6 months just planning and I hope that over the next year I can make the transition. So, thank you :)
Like most people, I was only wearing 20% of my wardrobe so once I figured out why (I want to be comfortable and stylish) I began to invest in quality basics. Now, I wear 80% of my wardrobe and look put together, comfortable and 'me'. The 20% is still there, barely touched, ready for my fantasy self that doesn't really exist. Much easier to shop now too.
In my mind and/or in my lived experience the biggest difference between dressing in my version of well and dressing in my version of sloppy is the thought and effort that goes into shopping and wardrobe planning. Acquiring well fitting and comfortable clothes that are made from good fabrics, that are durable, and go together well with other clothes I own requires more effort in comparison to buying any loose fitting hoodie, sweatpants, or the like. However, I personally find planning, searching for pieces, and putting in the effort very fun and enjoyable. Additionally decreasing the amount of shopping and in turn planning more has kept the time engagement pretty much consistent, only the amount of thought put in has increased, and living thoughtfully is something I view as a positive!
i get about equal pleasure from planning/playing around in my digital wardrobe as i do from shopping:):):) and it’s way more useful for identifying real gaps rather than continuously buying 1,000,000 cute “going out” tops 🙈
i feel like the minimal aesthetic (mainly i guess solid color neutrals) you've been getting into also supports the effortlessness of being polished here, both in looking effortless and in actually being effortless. needless to say we love it!
Hi Hannah, ever since you posted your vid on honing your home thoughts, I’ve been eagerly anticipating a home tour. Is that in the future cards? Hope so! Love the Ozma ballet wrap, it’s been on my list for years!
This was both informative and a joy to listen to. So many things I too had thought about but put in such an eloquent and elegant manner. Thank you for sharing your insights with us.
Maybe it's just me, but I find it easier to wear pants that I can just pull up after going to the bathroom rather than have to fuss with tucking in a shirt, buttoning and zipping up pants, then doing up a belt every time. 🤷♀️
omg this video really resonates! I grew up in a family who very much sees getting dressed as needing a reason for others, but like HLP, love fashion and makeup too much to care about what the layperson thinks 😹 when I moved out and got to manage my routine independently, I just started always getting dressed no matter what. It’s been like 10 years since I moved out and my parents still ask me, “oh who are you going to see? Did you work today” when they see me dressed up on a Sunday at 11am 😹
I have two pairs of wide leg black cotton trousers that I originally bought for work. They are my most comfortable pants and I wear them all the time (there's a reason I bought a second pair). They were like £30 5 years ago and I wear them year round. I love that I can wear them with smart blouses when I want to be fancy and ratty old t shirts for an edgy look. In summer the wide legs let a breeze in and in the winter I can pack on tights and leggings underneath. If I'm bloated they're still comfy. It it means that I can easily and comfortably achieve a standard of dress that I want even when j have no energy and or brain power
Love this video, Hannah! When I'm buying new clothes that I want to feel good in but also really live in, I ask myself, "Would I lounge around the house in this?" Comfort is key!
Girrrrrrl, I feel like my mindset is halfway there, and you just nudged me the rest of the way. "I don't want to waste a chance to wear my lovely clothes" by letting a single day go by without wearing them. This is also giving me more reasons to happily edge back into career mode post baby. (Post woopsy baby, tbh) I've been a stay-at-home mom for nearly 12 years (the baby is 2), so all the "feel good" about getting back to it is welcome! Thank you, Hannah!!! :)
I totally love this idea. Because sometimes you want to wear your nice things. Also Diamonds are an always jewelry especially studs you put them in and you can forget about them for 6 months
You know what I need right now? Some trousers 😂❤ I think I always wear sweatpants because I want to be comfy but those wide leg trousers also look pretty comfy too
Another thought too: the mentality of “wasting” an outfit on a day where only you see it…what an insult that is to yourself! Oh it’s only me, I couldn’t possible deserve to dress nicely for “no reason”. It’s like the opposite of what you said - actively giving off energy that you don’t care about yourself. Fascinating stuff! I’ve decided as you have that doing things for me is more than enough reason!!
yes, such a great insight!
I've always thought the same thing when single people complain about cooking for one. So insulting to tell yourself that you're not worth being cared for or nourished.
The main reason I love this channel is that it has ceased to be purely about beauty, but rather the philosophical way of applying beauty and art to life
Exactly!!
What a beautiful comment!
There's a whole area of philosophy that is dedicated to aesthetics.
The key for me was dresses. Realising that i don't enjoy coordinating tops and bottoms, so dresses and jumpsuits were actually *less* effort than casual clothes for me 😂 in the community I'm in they come accross as a little posh and elevated- but knowing I'm getting away with less daily effort makes me feel like I'm getting away with something in the most delicious way
Me too!
10000% same same same ! So many less choices
Part of it for me is scarcity syndrome-I fear if I wear out my favorite piece of clothing, I won’t be able to replace it
Oh 10000%
Don't worry about that. It's better to wear the item often (even to the point where it falls apart) & feel amazing in it every time. If the day comes that it's no longer wearable/salvageable then just appreciate all the value you got from it & find a new item. Gratitude & appreciation will always help you overcome the scarcity mindset. 😊
Agree, I wish there was a video on this exact topic. I love my clothes so much I don't want them to get ruined, stained, etc
Yes! I had a favorite pair of leggings, but I rarely wore them because I didn’t want them to wear out. A few years later, I found them in the bottom of the drawer, and they were itchy and felt awful as the fabric and spandex had degraded over time and from non-use. I think of them often when I am tempted to save something for special occasions - it often has the opposite effect than what I want!
Oh, yes, I was there. I love my beautiful clothes, but I love myself more than clothes! If I want to wear this beautiful piece today, than let it be: I will be happier from this and I will appreciate this piece for making me happy. And what makes me shift my mind was things have limits to wear and use. And if I dont wear it today it just will spoiled unused tomorrow.
I absolutely love this topic. You hit on something with talking about your clothes languishing in the closet. I had a beautiful gown in my closet that I had only been able to wear once because "I did not have an occasion to wear it". After considering this, I asked my husband if we could have a date night together. We cooked a favorite meal, and I dressed up in that gown (he dressed in a suit) and we had an upscale dinner date at home. I couldn't have felt more regal if I had been at the Four Seasons. This theory of not keeping something new for "someday" is a great idea, not just for clothes or jewelry, but for all the items you own. Why don't we wear our expensive perfume more often? It's like we're saving the best we have for a special day and life in made up of more Wednesdays than special days. Or maybe it's a way to make every Wednesday special?
I absolutely looove this idea!!! ❤
Love this too. I totally agree with wearing your "best" on any given day that you feel like it.
I love the idea of making every Wednesday special
I put on a really cute polished outfit to meet my boyfriend and his coworkers for drinks. I got there and everyone was dressed really casually, I then felt very silly and that I looked like I had just come from work. This was a really helpful video for me that I can wear put together outfits and that these thoughts are just constructs that have been put on us
You probably looked amazing but it's the story we tell ourselves internally that's so important. I used to hate being overdressed for an occasion, where I thought it would make it look like I was "trying too hard" but now I'm completely comfortable with being overdressed in any situation. It shows I made an effort & I'm ok with that.😊
I've found that caring about what I wear means I look overdressed a lot. You know what? I don't care. I feel good.
I'm always overdressed! As my Mum says "why dress down just to match other people. Better to be the best dressed in the room than the most underdressed"
I love this because my parents come from a culture where you don’t wear “outside” clothes when you’re at home, so as much as I love my more polished clothes it seems very alien to wear them around the house, even when working from home. But I’ve been investing more in nicer loungewear and in putting my loungewear together in ways that feel good, and it’s made me stand up a little straighter even on days when I’m just doing laundry. I also put on makeup almost every day, I just can’t resist seeing it in my bathroom and starting to play with it every morning. Plus I feel very chic walking the dog in my matching sweatsuit, sneakers and oversize wool overcoat.
Your wonderful comment made me think of the 30 hours I just spent adjust my 10 new pairs of sweat pants (notably removing the elastic at the bottom as I like a standard straight line at the hem (no gathers)). (note clipping out the 12" x 2" embroidered "Calvin Klein" took forever).
Love this. My goal is to be Labyrinth era David Bowie at every family gathering.
Absolutely -and I’m 70!
legit my favorite meme- overjoyed it popped up
One of the constants of my life is people asking me why I'm so "dressed up", and/or who I'm doing it for. I was always confused by the question because it never dawned on me to think about other people. Which is actually staunchly out of character for me. It's probably the reason I love playing dress up so much. It's always been a pure expression of my identity, undaunted and untainted by the influence of others. I'm so brave and completely confident when it comes to dressing in a way I struggle to be in other areas of my life sometimes. If I could have like half the self assurance I have about dressing with everything else, I would be invincible.
this comment is so completely relatable. I do whatever the fuck I want with my clothes, but am somehow not nearly as free when it comes to other areas of life
This is so interesting to see how the same underlying mentality can manifest so differently in dressing - either an extension of the orientation towards external validation (my case), or quite the contrary, the precious area of oneself's expression and confidence.
The psychology of fashion and dressing is fascinating. Sure, it seems simple and obvious, and easy to be taken for granted, but Hannah's video and comments like these make it seem so fresh and palpable.
also--while we're on the topic of dressing focusing on yourself first, if you're interested in style systems at all, you make want to check out the Style Key system by Style Thoughts by Rita (she's on UA-cam). the system primarily revolves around the mental processes of how we get dressed. trying to sum it up succinctly, her system has two axes (left/right, and up/down) and four quadrants (left-up, left-down, right-up, right-down). the left and right component has to do with whether the "starting point" of your styling comes from your internal world (left) or the external world (right). the up and down component has to do with whether your execution of that concept/inspiration is aimed inwards, to support how you feel (down) or aimed outwards, to express yourself or convey a message to other people (up).
based on the description you gave of your styling process, it sounds like you might be left-up like me, or you could potentially also be left-down. anyways I just wanted to share because it's fascinating to see the mental part of styling that isn't just seen in the clothes themselves.
@@lifeontheledgerlines8394 that sounds interesting. I'll check it out, thanks!
Not only do I love to watch Hannah’s videos, but I always want to read everyone’s comments bc they bring me comfort and inspo. Thank u Hannah and the community ❤😊
You are not really speaking about clothes, you are speaking about loving ourselves.
Ah! A Sadie-moment of comfort is just what this childless cat lady needed! I have been struggling with wearing my "best options". They are often hung into the closet for special occasions that never arise. This is slowly changing, because I had to learn that moths and the breakdown of fibers just happens and not all clothes will wait for me. The bigger question for me is why I am holding off on my best life, though.
Over years of therapy, I've settled into patterns of "subtle energetic care" for myself too. I figured out a hair care routine that's effortless and has my loose, open hair looking pleasing to me everyday. I like to think of it as: I deserve "niceness", and not "nice things". I want to keep separate the way I value myself and the way things are valued in this world. I thought about this because diamonds are a painful reminder of the cost of beauty. That elegance is a purchase for most. I learnt from you to think of elegance as ease of being. Even in the pursuit of owning fewer nicer things, of taking care of myself, I grapple with consumption and how it intrudes into my sense of self. If a purchasable thing could make me feel better about myself, where do I draw the line? When is it materialism?
I really love the framing of deserving niceness independent of nice things
Whoa. That's genuinely deep. Thanks for sharing.
Working from home and dragging through a Friday, you inspired me to go switch my old hoodie for the new cashmere one and put on jewelry. And I feel so much better about life.
I just wanted to give a quick THANK YOU shout out to y'all. I commented a few videos back about how I would love if you'd include which links had size inclusive clothes because it was disheartening when none of your gorgeous suggestions were available to me. And YOU DID IT! I honestly did not expect that! I know it adds labor to the already long job of the description boxes, but I can't tell you how much it has meant to me today. Not only has it made the shopping fun, but also it's just made me feel seen and valued at a time when that is in short supply. So thank you!!! ❤❤❤
I have been slowly making my wardrobe into a muted gothicpunk-ish wardrobe of my dreams (I call it romancepunk--a mix of 90s/00s vampire, darkest academia, and graphic shirts). I am finding so much joy in honoring the vibes I so badly wanted as a teen. Getting dressed in an outfit and donning my new signature makeup makes me feel so much better mentally--I also work from home and got in the habit of not getting dressed😅
Congratulations! Yes honour yourself for doing this and be happy
Love the personal style videos.
I relate so much to the switch to wide legged trousers. I am so over wearing skinny jeans.
Honestly Hannah. You always make me think about how I'm living my life and what assumptions I wake up with each morning. You make me remember being a philosophy major and actually thinking about life, the universe, and everything!
Growing up in France, it is totally normal to dress everyday. For me dressing is almost an act of personal hygiene. Just like taking a shower for example.
Agreed! Italy is the same way. Living in America, everyone seems so casual, sometimes to the point of sloppiness.
Hannah, thank you so much for Wednesday’s video. It helped so much with feeling less isolated and alone. Love seeing the brain smoothing fashion videos. ❤❤
Yes! The concept of "its the same either way" makes so much sense! I adore wearing flowy dresses because they are so comfortable. Of course, people associate dresses with "dressing up", but it's just comfortable. It's literally a singular article of clothing I can throw on and look and feel put together, but still be effortlessly dressed. Just wear the clothes. Sometimes, the most fantastic style comes from laziness and the desire for polished comfort.
i personally feel like i absolutely have to change out of my “out in the world” clothes when i get home, but i’ve been trying to have my “home” clothes also make me feel nice ❤
😊Me too...on both points. Don't like wearing my "outside" clothes inside. I only do that when I am planning to go right back out again🔁.
🥰Grew up w/a family of floor trolls too. We had perfectly good sofas & such, but could be quite content sitting or laying on pillows to play games, watch TV, or do our hobbies. Otherwise, we could be found curled up in a cosy chair. I can't be comfy when worried about creasing or crinkling.
🥿Plus, we were a shoes off, socks🧦, or indoor slippers🩴 on, at the door🚪 too. Our inside surfaces were kept cleaner as a result of this habit too.
😉Hannah once talked about having lounge clothes. A tier of clothing before pajamas. Something you could actually be seen in should someone drop by unexpectedly or you needed to dash out to the car or mailbox. That idea still resonates w/me.
🤔Also need to find a more suitably soft & stylish uniform for that purpose. Maybe some elevated knit or linen 2-pc sets or a handful of one & done dresses for leisure.
💚Bridget from Cali☘️
(using my pal's YT acct)
Yes! I need bras that I don't mind wearing at home because I know I look better and my clothes fit better with one, plus I can answer my door if I want to.
I started wearing skirts a couple years ago, full, knee-length, with some swish to help add that classic hourglass silhouette to my fairly rectangular figure. I didn't really change anything else. The tops stayed the same, but just adding a swishy skirt upped the entire vibe. I've since added some dresses and nicer tops and all, but basically it came down to skirts. There's something my DNA finds very satisfying about that brush of fabric with every step. And yes--natural fibers! Linen, wool, silk, cotton. I keep saying I'm a natural fiber snob, but really it's because they have so many advantages over man-made. (The fact that I knit definitely helps my sweater wardrobe!) Thanks for your content. Love your deep dives.
Skirts for me too! ❤
Same! ❤ I stopped wearing jeans because they made me feel grey. After a while other pants started to feel like the lesser option in comparison to skirts. I love the feminine feeling they give me and how they look with my tops.
Absolutely! I work in a home office with my husband. I get dressed every day… and I choose trousers or a dress. Jeans are not comfortable to sit in all day. The only curve-ball is that we moved to the country so I also have outside chores (like feeding the chickens) to do so my clothes also need a certain ruggedness to them. My favourites are cargo-style trousers or corduroy pants that I pair with quality sweaters or blouses. Always jewelry and a little makeup.
When I worked in a corporate environment in my 20’s I got DRESSED UP for work. My life now as a rural mom working from a home office requests a different wardrobe… but I still put myself together. ❤
The “nexus of beauty, comfort and durability” might be what draws some people to historical fashion. When clothes were more expensive to make, it was essential to make them versatile and practical. After hearing people sing the praises of natural fibres, I’ve started wearing wool and noticing how it feels, and I love it. It regulates my temperature so well and resists wrinkling or sagging. We seem to think of wool, linen and silk as “delicate”, dry-clean-only fabrics, but I find them more washable and durable than the man-made fibres that imitate them. If the garments are designed well, they can be washed in water and look good as new (just check the tag). It’s too bad that modern clothing makes you choose between either practical or polished outfits, but not both. We can have both by selecting thoughtfully made items for our wardrobes.
i always have a hard time successfully washing wool silk and linen pieces that i thrift, vintage or modern. For me the only surefire fabric is 100% cotton (esp in my hot climate)
I relate to this. My family are all casual dressers. I work from home. But I have always dressed in a comfy yet dressy way. I like clothes and have always cared about colour, shape, and texture.
My wardrobe makes me happy.
This video is a DELIGHT, the way it clicks is unreal. I strated crying when you said your outro because you're really always on point and you encourage us in so many ways. Love from Lebanon, Middle East ♥️
HLP making my Friday better 💙
I do the same. Up early, mild sports, shower with good all over skin care and then one hour to dress up beautifully plus full beat of make-up and jewelry. Every day. When I go out I wear my Clarks and the coat/jacket I love and that makes me feel powerful. Took me a while to figure it out, but I did and I know my life is better for it.
I needed this lovely distraction today. The Sadie cameo was a sweet bonus. The mouse experiment sounds fascinating. The labels that others give us and that we give ourselves are powerful forces and we can use that information to improve our lives. Sending hope and peace to all!
I struggle with “wasting an outfit” mostly because I don’t have a good wardrobe. I’m working on that with your help! I love the thought process you provide and the wonderful fashion advice. Such a fantastic combination!
Simplifying my wardrobe has helped a lot with this too! When you love everything in your closet, it's definitely easier to put clothes together that you like and feel good in!
Hearing you describe that childhood urge to express yourself through clothing and adornment is so healing for my inner child. Your channel has helped me so much to embrace the expressive person I’ve always been. 💛
I love dressing because it’s a creative outlet for me.
"I want to want to...." this is the most clear, eloquent, and (most important) insightful definition of the "fantasy self". And it ain't just about clothes. As always, Hannah lightly tosses out such important principles disguised as being about (relatively) frivolous things.
Thank you. I’ve just retired from many years of teaching. I’ve been trying to figure out this very issue of “saving “ my clothes for work. I love my clothes and I want to wear them. You’ve inspired mme!
I had a similar conversion with wool trousers specifically. I am constantly cold and at some point I realized wool pants are super warm and comfortable, so I started just wearing them around the house and out as everyday pants. Instant glow-up and I feel like my style is more defined and more me.
You took this in a vey different direction than I was expecting. My first thought, since another person was involved, was about comparison, shaming, consensus dressing, and if there is any responsibility to make another more comfortable vs dimming your own light.
I have a very complicated relationship with clothes that involves bullying and deprivation, among other things. My goal for years was, and still is, to some degree, "effortlessly cool". "Trying" to look good was met worth bullying until high school.
In high school, I deeply admired my best friend's confident and dramatic sense of style. I believed she dressed for herself, and I knew it bolstered her fragile self esteem. I encouraged her to do so, and in the beginning, she encouraged me.
Once she registered that people might compare us, as we moved into or late teens and 20's, things changed.
As long as I kept to my more causal style, and she was the "better dressed" one, no problem. If I worked up the nerve to upgrade even one iota, she treated it as an act of sabotage. It took me a very long time to acknowledge this, and realize that she had gone from dressing for herself to dressing to outshine everyone around her. The spotlight was for her, and only her, and her clothes had gone from a tool for self expression to a weapon.
I think once other people enter the equation, it gets complicated. Comparison happens. It shouldn't, but it does. If there is an unspoken consensus to dress at a certain level of effort/ formality, regardless of how pure or innocent one's motives in violating that consensus, there can be consequences do doing so. Navigating other's insecurities comes into play. It shouldn't, but it does.
Thay being said, I don't believe we should dim our light for others. I want to shine, and I want others to shine with me. I try to dress for myself. Some days, it's a struggle, with old fears rising up to throttle me. Others, I put on something lush, step out into the world, and shine.
I'm sorry, I hope you're not friend with that person anymore or that things have changed for the better.
@amberglow7612 Thanks, AmberGlow! Yes, I got a lot of therapy, and that friendship ended the first time I enforced healthy boundaries. Making progress with the other stuff, and only hang with people who want to shine together. Just a little triggered by the topic, apparently!
Over the last two years I have seen such a transformation in both my style and my mentality. I started elevating my everyday outfits- firstly at work and then it trickled into my casual off duty days. Now it's completely natural for me to dress in what I would once have considered 'fancier' clothes every day. When I make an effort to look put together (although I don't consider it making an effort any more, I thoroughly enjoy the entire processs of outfit planning & styling- the creative process lights me up inside) my whole demeanor & mindset feels more confident, productive and at ease. It's like dressing better has given me permission to take up more space in the world- to be comfortable with being seen & heard rather than blending into the background. I even feel that people who I used to find somewhat intimidating (where internally I felt I wasn't good enough to be on the same level as them) now I no longer feel that. I've been doing a lot of inner work on stepping into my divine feminine energy & reading & meditating but I feel the power of clothes/personal style has had a profound effect.
hey i’ve been on a divine feminine healing journey as well, any books or youtubers you recommend? my fave yt on the topic is Heaven Sent Honey
@Justaregularoldplumbus I really like Jillz Guerin on UA-cam. Tertia Riegler and Jaelyn have some good videos on the topic too 😊
I am doing the Mr. Rogers (changing my clothes whenever I leave the house) but I do put thought into and love my house clothes just as much as my outside clothes.
Thank you for putting into words things that have been living in my brain for a while but could never quite express coherently! I'm still working on making my wardrobe feel exactly like you described but I have always erred on the side of "formal" and went through a phase of trying it out, feeling a bit like the odd one out, and then finally becoming quite confident about it, however, the last few years felt like a step back (for various reasons) and I started to feel a little self conscious again. But hearing you say "it's all the same", a thought that keeps occurring to me but keeps getting lost in self-consciousness, helps cement it all again! Find things you love and wear them!
For me the clothing type that transformed my casual style was flowy midi & maxi length skirts! Comfortable, not constricting, can transition between seasons, and always a bit more polished than sweatpants.
Also, Sadie is so precious! If only all clothing could be as soft and comforting and full of love as our favorite cats
To quote one of my personal role-models: ”Appearance is a way of showing respect.” And that includes to yourself. Dressing well often leads to feeling well. I had a similar lightbulb moment when I re-discovered maxi skirts. I don’t like jeans either, instead I’ve fully embraced skirts and long-sleeved, fitted tops. I feel great. I often hear how ”fancy” I look, or ”Are you going to a party?” Nope, just me on a regular Tuesday. 🙂 Thanks for the thought-provoking video!
I know i am late to this video but it has gripped me. I worked in an office setting with a dress code for 10 years. 6 months ago i took a new job in which i now work from home. The experience of dressing and finding my new method and wants from dressing and “the dressing ritual” has been so interesting. This is so fun to hear about and so fun to compare and contrast our experiences.
I'm really on board with all of this, after many decades of having the phrase "all dressed up and nowhere to go" ringing in my ears. I'm chronically and unpredictably ill, so sometimes I'll put myself together with the intention of going out and "having a life" around other people, but by the time I've finished my hair and makeup, I've used up my energy for the day. So the phrase hits me in the sad, regretful and longing parts of myself. I also use getting dressed nicely for the day as a barometer for my mental health, whether I plan to go anywhere or not (and it's usually not) and then the inner voice will use the phrase as a criticism for that choice of resource expenditure as something pointless and selfish, when I could have used those resources for something else, something that benefits more people such as a tidier house. But recently I've been trying to challenge that automatic thinking, because I'm not sure where it came from but it certainly doesn't reflect what I'd say to others. I have people in my life that I need to model positive self-talk for, but even more so I've realized I need to model it for myself! And now, slowly, I am finding myself more able to embrace ideas such as the ones you generously share, and make looking wonderful in my own eyes and even *only* for my own eyes an endeavour I can truly consider worthwhile.
I love this, as someone else who has a chronic illness that sort of dictates how I can dress I also find it really hard to spend my energy on looking nice. It’s like im housebound so no one will see it but you’re so right about following my own advice when it comes to myself as well. ❤
As one who is the same, may I suggest " Counting Spoons". It's a practice of assigning energy to a "spoon" and knowing how many "spoons" you have for the day It's a practice I have done for over thirty years. When I first started I had one spoon (taking a shower), that was honesty my energy for the day. To help keep my spirits up, I got nice jammies and slippers. It worked. I started wearing lip stain (as it does wear off fast or transfer to fabrics). Most of my clothing has a pocket to keep lip products and a couple other necessities making the day easier. For full make-up takes a few hours doing a bit at a time...but it's worth it. This all leads me to this. On good days be ready just in case. The energy it takes to get ready at the last minute zaps away many spoons. If you're ready to go when a friend calls or whatever, you'll not only be more likely to say yes, you'll have a good time.
@@ruthgreen2014 Those are some really great tips!
Honestly I get the obsession with diamonds. I remember how I felt the first time I saw a real sapphire of high quality. It felt like a tear in reality leading to an impossible blue universe. ❤
This hits home… I got a wow today from the grocery store clerk… she thought I was going somewhere nice…and all that was different this day was I decided to blow dry my hair but I had on the same everyday casual clothes! Sometimes a small change makes a difference…❤
I find jeans horribly uncomfortable and don’t own any. I have chronic pain stuff so I wear dresses and skirts most days. People always ask why I’m dressed up and I’m like…I feel like I’m wearing a night gown instead of being trussed up like a chicken!
Well said!
Yes! I feel like ME when I get dressed for work but I've been struggling to work out how to bring that into my Mum days. Thanks for giving me a push to wear the same clothes to the playground and embrace it.
I have a relatively smart casual workplace so this isn't actually that much of a stretch.
I love your thoughtfulness and appreciate your sharing your journey!
I have always LOVED well-tailored, wide-leg trousers!! I’d happily wear your classic pinstripe wide-leg trousers any and every day.❤
To me, they’re one of those timeless classics that never go out of style, and generally they’re pretty comfortable for everyday wear. They’ll always elevate your look!
My ideal personal style is beautifully tailored “menswear for women” with lots of feminine, bohemian-style touches.
Think of classy, wide-leg trousers with a matching, well fitted vest, a softly draped, floral or paisley blouse, with either a gorgeous scarf tied around my head in a complementary color, or flowers in my hair, and with either big shiny hoop earrings, or sparkly chandelier style earrings (I love statement earrings!)
Trousers have completely changed my entire wardrobe!!! I work in a coffee shop part time and for myself part time. Trousers are comfy yet polished and I reach for them multiple times a week. I’m always the most “dressed up” barista😂
Your point at the end about making sure that your 'nice' things are hardy enough to be worn repeatedly is so true. I am a big fan of Viscose for this reason. Drapes like silk but can go in the washing machine fine. 👌
This reminds me of my college days, when I had something huge, stay-up-all-night-writing, due. I would dress up to do that assignment because I realized that if I thought I looked hot, it affected my performance on getting that assignment done. It gave me that extra confidence and energy.
I didn't grow up with close family or friends that prioritized putting effort into their wardrobes. Watching your videos is like talking to a big sister ❤️
I am obsessed with trousers and love the refinement they bring to a casual, everyday look.
So grateful for you, Hannah, for bringing some much needed beauty and calm into the world. The poem you posted on Instagram today was sublime. Sending love to you and yours. 🙏💙
I agree with people saying they sometimes feel weird in outside clothes when they get home- something I do is put a housecoat/ dressing gown over my clothes which helps me feel like I don't get outside germs in my house but also I am ready to go in a second
Yes, yes, yes. Thanks for your original thoughts. You know, I realised I’ve upped my game too, and it was because you recommended some ‘go to’ pants you love. I bought similar (in Australia) on the back of your comment. My wardrobe, nay, my dressing, has transformed in the same way you describe, thank you Hannah.
Thank you again for this thought-provoking video! And thanks for letting us sound off on your channel. I had an experience yesterday that reminded me of yours, and I wanted to share it. Had lunch with a friend, and one of the first things she said was, “oh! You’re wearing makeup and jewelry!“I absolutely did not know how to respond to that!
I’m having dinner with another friend tonight, and I found myself thinking, should I not wear my sparkly eyeshadow? Will it make my friend uncomfortable?
Nooo! We do not need to think this way! People’s comments and judgments about looking nice for “no good reason “are a reflection on them, and it doesn’t mean we need to change what we’re doing to make ourselves happy!
“It’s the same either way” HIT HARD bc it’s so true
Well, effort-wise it's not the same to me. Although it might seem so, but wearing nice clothes at home means more laundry and handling all the stuff. If my less nice clothes get soiled during household activities I can put them on high temperature wash and nothing will happen to them... And I don't know how ppl avoid staining their house wear badly... Also I haven't found a fabric soft enough to replace my fuzzy PJ's which make me feel so good... I just can't frel comfortable in other fabrics. Ofc, I can't walk out of the house immediately... But I don't need to 😅 Would be nice to find the compromise, tho
@@user-sg8wf5qo9s That was my thought as well. It's not the same if things require ironing or special care. Also, on any given day, I may be doing house projects or working in my garden, and I'm not chancing ruining my nicer clothes with a hole or stain.
Totally agree! I had all these great clothes that went to waste and then I decided that the ones I loved that were comfortable should be worn! The wide legged slacks … so agree!
I’m wearing jeans today and I realized I kind of hate it. I’m completely on board the trouser train.
i was basically today years old when it clicked for me that jeans aren’t supposed to be comfy casual wear. they’re meant for durability for outdoor work. it makes no sense the way people talk ab them as comfortable casual clothes. trousers are many times more comfy for indoors
Thanks Hannah for this video. I’m an artist and commute to my studio each day. I am not a very messy painter generally, however there is the occasional paint splatter. My challenge has been trying to have a set of studio clothes that are not just grubby and frumpy but elevated and comfortable while embracing the possibility of permanent mess. I wear these clothes every day and I’m tired of not feeling my best or looking my best. I needed this video that put it all so succinctly and was a bit of a kick in the butt! Georgia O’ Keefe is a huge inspiration..she lived remotely in the desert and had an amazing sense of style (always black and white only and iconic while effortless looking) it was HER whether anyone lay eyes on her or not.
sacrificing non-grubby clothes to be “paint clothes” is such a struggle!! when i accidentally mess up a cute piece, i’m secretly happy i then have cuter paint clothes >_>
I'm totally working on making changes to my overall wardrobe such that my basics and casuals are nicer and comfier. I have a few nice quality pieces already and I wear them more frequently and get compliments more frequently. Some are hand me downs from my grandma who you remind me of in your polished and put together look and red hair!
The ad read was very relaxing to listen to! I think you would make excellent ASMR videos
A follow up video for dealing with the occasional overdressed feeling this brings? I feel like this is me and in my friend group i am usually the most polished and sometimes it makes social events a little awkward.
yes I love this video idea. will think on it
dying for that video! i feel like an asshole sometimes because i want others to be into fashion with me… but they have so many self imposed roadblocks to embracing a full style, even the ones who express desire to dress better. it’s disappointing and lonely to me but i don’t want to be forceful or sound like i’m being critical when i talk ab my fashion passions, likes and dislikes. and id like to respond gracefully to criticism for “over dressing” or caring too much ab something “frivolous”
i’m also always toning down my outfits to stand out less :(
I detest wholeheartedly the modern trend for competitive underdressing. It kills my soul. So much so that I've decided I don't owe people comfortable, if they can't be comfortable with who am, I think it's best we part ways. I'd rather be authentically alone than dim my light to be accepted by others. 2025 is going to be an interesting year for me, I wonder who'll be left at the end of it.
@dreamer6943 really into this energy lol
This is so applicable to my life! I started buying clothes from Lucy & Yak, this great sustainable brand based in the UK, a few years ago. A wonderful thing about their clothing is that it is often unapologetically bold, colourful, and full of life, which is rarer for sustainable brands. Not only that, but they heavily emphasise comfort. All the pieces I've bought from them could be considered 'too nice' to lie around the house in, but because they're so comfy and easy to wear, I feel so put together and chic even when I'm just lying on the couch watching TV
This is so great, Hannah! I had a wonderful period of time where I got dressed, including shoes and jewelry, even though I worked from home. It changed because I gained weight, and my clothes didn’t fit well anymore so I resorted to becoming “sweatpants girl.” Even though I have bought new clothes in my correct size, I never got back to getting dressed when I’m going to be only at home. Thank you for inspiring me to do that!! I love your epiphany that “it’s the same!“ it takes the same amount of time to put on a pair of ratty old sweatpants as it takes to put on my favorite jeans. I had that same realization about buying my colors. Usually a garment costs the same no matter what color it is. So I learned what my best colors are, and now I buy them rather than some random color I don’t necessarily love.
Thank you for sharing links to your favorite comfortable clothes; I might actually try some trousers. Thank you for teaching us how to take good care of ourselves! 💗
I started practicing intentionally dressing up during COVID lockdowns to keep me sane. In years since I’ve been struggling with depression and there have been days when putting on an outfit served as the one and only „cheer-up”. I savour my little dress-ups every single day. An outfit can truly change one’s life haha
omg the trousers hack is brilliant! Thanks Hannah!
Have you done a video on how to elevate T shirts?? 95% of my closet are T shirts [split between comfortable basics & from concerts I've attended]. They range from fitted to oversized. And I don't have a ton of funds to buy a whole new wardrobe - though I could probably buy a couple new pairs of pants or something along those lines. So, if you haven't done that yet, would that be possible?? It may fall under that "elevated streetwear" notion you mentioned towards the end. 💕
Also, I'm definitely going to pick up your poetry book for my Christmas present to myself!!!!
Perfect! I started doing this with my clothes and my skincare/makeup routine everyday since being locked inside during Covid. It saved my sanity 💙
I love your way of thinking and your confidence in sharing it.
I love this video and idea in general. I also love trousers! So much more comfortable than jeans ☺️
I love this so much! I'm never going to be a trouser girl, I'm still leggings all the way, but even then totally love the idea of helping yourself feel your best. I can wear my favorite leggings with a sweater and my jewelry and it's so different than an old stained sweatshirt.
Really fabulous video, I wear different things day to day, couldn’t wear jeans at home all day way too uncomfortable ( I’m an artist so work from home studio) I wear joggers (sweat pants) some days trousers on other days depending how I feel. I live in an old house so warm clothing is the most important thing in winter. I always feel better when I make an effort to dress well 😁
You mentioned in a video (a long while back I think) once you that you told yourself you could be "trusted" not to damage your good clothes (and that if you did, well so be it!) and I have to say that it BLEW MY MIND. What you said was entirely responsible for me reassessing my own relationship with my wardrobe, and giving myself permission to wear my nicest things even just at home. I too am now 'dressing better' .... Even though I am always at home and mostly not seeing other people. Once I gave myself permission to wear my "nice" clothes at home, on the couch, WOW. Total game changer!
So, thanks Hannah - this video was a fantastic reminder that it's just if not MORE important to dress for myself than others and that it makes me happy when I do 🫶🏼
Trousers have always been my key too. I've dressed very adult from the time I was 16 or so, once I wore less jeans and zip up hoodies. It's easy to look fancy in them. I'm even better in summer because my dress wardrobe is excellent, but it's too cold to wear often.
Yes! I have no problem if others dress more casually, but I want to dress more elevated for me!
This was so, so good. Thank you!
"It's the same." You summed up what I've felt inside when my coworkers compliment me that I look so put together every day and that it must take me some extraneous effort or I must go out of my way. I thank them but inside I think, it's no effort at all. I don't even think of it.
We start by dressing as the person we want to be, but we're not yet that person. So the clothes feel like a costume, a disguise. You are hiding in those clothes, and you dont want people to see the 'real' you. This is why you never feel like wearing some clothes when no ones looking.
Somewhere, the switch happens.. you dress as the person you are, you have become the person you wanted to be. Your clothes are you, there is no separation.
This is so good.
Thank you
I gave birth almost 2 years ago and since then I have been feeling really different about my body and wardrobe. I want to be more conscious and mindful of what I wear and it's impact on me, my life and environment. My aim is to move to few durable pieces that I actually enjoy wearing. Your videos have been so helpful. I have spent probably last 6 months just planning and I hope that over the next year I can make the transition. So, thank you :)
Like most people, I was only wearing 20% of my wardrobe so once I figured out why (I want to be comfortable and stylish) I began to invest in quality basics. Now, I wear 80% of my wardrobe and look put together, comfortable and 'me'. The 20% is still there, barely touched, ready for my fantasy self that doesn't really exist. Much easier to shop now too.
In my mind and/or in my lived experience the biggest difference between dressing in my version of well and dressing in my version of sloppy is the thought and effort that goes into shopping and wardrobe planning. Acquiring well fitting and comfortable clothes that are made from good fabrics, that are durable, and go together well with other clothes I own requires more effort in comparison to buying any loose fitting hoodie, sweatpants, or the like. However, I personally find planning, searching for pieces, and putting in the effort very fun and enjoyable. Additionally decreasing the amount of shopping and in turn planning more has kept the time engagement pretty much consistent, only the amount of thought put in has increased, and living thoughtfully is something I view as a positive!
i get about equal pleasure from planning/playing around in my digital wardrobe as i do from shopping:):):) and it’s way more useful for identifying real gaps rather than continuously buying 1,000,000 cute “going out” tops 🙈
yes, THIS is the key, lol. It takes a lot of effort to look effortlessly put together all the time. I love the process too!
i feel like the minimal aesthetic (mainly i guess solid color neutrals) you've been getting into also supports the effortlessness of being polished here, both in looking effortless and in actually being effortless. needless to say we love it!
Best video to date - you’ve captured it so well - and I really love the way you articulate your ideas - thoughtful, intriguing and fun
Hi Hannah, ever since you posted your vid on honing your home thoughts, I’ve been eagerly anticipating a home tour. Is that in the future cards? Hope so! Love the Ozma ballet wrap, it’s been on my list for years!
This was both informative and a joy to listen to. So many things I too had thought about but put in such an eloquent and elegant manner. Thank you for sharing your insights with us.
'Is that in case you run into a follower' is legit hilarious. What a sasspot.
Maybe it's just me, but I find it easier to wear pants that I can just pull up after going to the bathroom rather than have to fuss with tucking in a shirt, buttoning and zipping up pants, then doing up a belt every time. 🤷♀️
omg this video really resonates! I grew up in a family who very much sees getting dressed as needing a reason for others, but like HLP, love fashion and makeup too much to care about what the layperson thinks 😹 when I moved out and got to manage my routine independently, I just started always getting dressed no matter what. It’s been like 10 years since I moved out and my parents still ask me, “oh who are you going to see? Did you work today” when they see me dressed up on a Sunday at 11am 😹
I have two pairs of wide leg black cotton trousers that I originally bought for work. They are my most comfortable pants and I wear them all the time (there's a reason I bought a second pair). They were like £30 5 years ago and I wear them year round.
I love that I can wear them with smart blouses when I want to be fancy and ratty old t shirts for an edgy look. In summer the wide legs let a breeze in and in the winter I can pack on tights and leggings underneath. If I'm bloated they're still comfy. It it means that I can easily and comfortably achieve a standard of dress that I want even when j have no energy and or brain power
Love this video, Hannah! When I'm buying new clothes that I want to feel good in but also really live in, I ask myself, "Would I lounge around the house in this?" Comfort is key!
Girrrrrrl, I feel like my mindset is halfway there, and you just nudged me the rest of the way. "I don't want to waste a chance to wear my lovely clothes" by letting a single day go by without wearing them. This is also giving me more reasons to happily edge back into career mode post baby. (Post woopsy baby, tbh) I've been a stay-at-home mom for nearly 12 years (the baby is 2), so all the "feel good" about getting back to it is welcome! Thank you, Hannah!!! :)
Awwwwe, also my fam needs a cat. (Finally nearly ready after a loss.)
I totally love this idea. Because sometimes you want to wear your nice things. Also Diamonds are an always jewelry especially studs you put them in and you can forget about them for 6 months
I stayed in my night gown all day, but it's silk and I wore a vintage mohair oversized cardigan on top to keep me warm, so I felt good.
Literally in your explainer in the beginning I was like I hope she linked that necklace. It’s stunning!
Girl, just putting on ANY clothing other than a bathrobe, let alone trying to look good, has been a struggle this week......
Haven't been out of sweats. And not the nice ones.
You know what I need right now? Some trousers 😂❤ I think I always wear sweatpants because I want to be comfy but those wide leg trousers also look pretty comfy too