We heard you in the comments below asking for a deeper dive into how to identify and heal core wounds-and we’re so excited to share that we created a dedicated video on this topic! 💚 It’s all about understanding core wounds, building self-compassion, and creating a foundation for healthier relationships - first with yourself and then with others. We released it on Friday, and you can find it now on our channel. Let us know your thoughts, and as always, we thank you for being part of this amazing community! 💚✨ua-cam.com/video/kUoSgDI_Lv8/v-deo.htmlsi=KgXXa_fEvugc9lr9
My DA did not have enough emotional bandwidth to support a romantic relationship. He got too scared getting close to me and maintaining regular communication. He pulled away for days and sometimes weeks at a time that left me very confused. I understand so much more now. I put my energy into myself and feel a lot better. Thank you ❤🙏🧬
Thank you so much for sharing your story. ❤ It sounds like you’ve done incredible work in understanding your experience and shifting your focus toward self-growth-that takes so much courage and strength. 🙌 We’re so glad the video resonated with you and that you’re feeling better now. Sending you lots of support as you continue this journey. If there are any other topics you’d like us to explore, let us know. 💚
If you're here, then deep down you know that it's time to walk away. As difficult as it was to leave a partner after 4.5 years of hoping they'd change, take accountability, show up, reflect, communicate, or even agree to spending time together, I knew I had to. You can't get back to that honeymoon phase you had in the beginning. I miss them, but I wouldn't trade the peace I have for that toxic dynamic.
Thank you so much for sharing your story-it takes incredible strength and self-awareness to make the decision to walk away from a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs. 💚 You’re absolutely right that while the honeymoon phase can feel so powerful, staying in a toxic dynamic comes at the expense of your peace and well-being. We’re so glad to hear that you’ve found a sense of peace after such a difficult journey. Your story will undoubtedly resonate with and inspire others who are navigating similar challenges. Thank you for being part of this community! 💚
Just found you. Thank goodness. Left 3 months ago after 10.5 years on/off trying to “fix” it. This is exactly what I need to heal and finally stay away to hopefully find a better relationship in my future. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story, and welcome to our channel! 💚 Leaving a relationship after so many years takes incredible strength, and it’s inspiring to hear that you’ve taken this step toward healing and building the future you deserve. We’re so glad our content is resonating with you and supporting you on this journey. Please know you’re not alone, and we’re here to help. If there are specific topics you’d like us to cover, let us know-we’d love to hear from you! 💚
My husband of 18 years is an extreme DA. Over 60 I am financially dependent upon him, what a lonely place it is, I hardly see him and the silence treatment/stonewalling can last weeks only to resume within days of talking. I only discovered attachments around 18 months ago after years of constantly being confused what the issue was and if only I try harder. Don’t waste years if they’re not willing to change he always told me I’m alright as I am. 😢
Thank you for sharing your experience-it takes so much strength to open up about such a painful and lonely situation. 😢 It’s heartbreaking to feel so unseen and unheard, especially in a long-term relationship. Discovering attachment styles can be life-changing, especially after years of confusion, and we’re so glad you’ve found some clarity. Please remember, you are not alone in this. 💚 We’re sending you so much love and support as you navigate this incredibly challenging time. You deserve to feel valued and emotionally connected. If there are specific topics you’d like us to explore in future videos, please let us know-we’d love to provide resources and insights that could be helpful. 💚
@ after 20 operations mainly for breast cancer and his total lack of any support (only came to see me twice) never asking how I was, no cards or presents for birthdays, anniversary or Christmas and lack of expression in his face is just soul destroying. I also learned that through my own connections with my father (now deceased) that the abandonment wound in me was what keeps me. Trying to get the right help in UK feels like an empty tunnel 🥴
Thank you so much for sharing more about your story-it truly highlights the incredible resilience you’ve shown in such deeply challenging circumstances. 💚 We’re so sorry to hear about the struggles you’ve faced in finding help in the UK. 🥺 We are planning to create some content on navigating attachment wounds, and we hope you will find that helpful. Please know you’re not alone in this-we’re sending you so much love, and we’re here to provide as much clarity and support as we can through our videos. 💚
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 💚 It’s true that healing and growth require self-awareness and intentional action, and we hope to inspire everyone-whether avoidant or otherwise-to take steps toward greater fulfillment and connection. At the same time, we recognize that change can be a complex and deeply personal journey. Thank you for being part of this conversation and helping highlight the importance of self-growth! 💚
@ Most of the time, they aren't even aware of why the source of their fears, and since we cannot fight/win against an unknown enemy, they cannot efficiently vanquish it. So unless they are actual narcissists, they don't want nor enjoy their situation.
This is exactly what I needed. I’m in the process of cutting ties with a dismissive manipulative avoidant man in a shameful situationship. Please do the video breaking down the process of self reflection. ✨
Thank you for sharing your journey-it takes so much courage to cut ties in such a challenging situation. 💚 We’re so glad this video resonated with you and offered support during this process. Your request for a video on self-reflection is perfectly timed-our next video, scheduled to go live tomorrow at 7 AM MST, focuses on addressing core wounds through a process of self-reflection. ✨ We hope it provides the insights and guidance you’re looking for. Sending you strength as you navigate this journey-you’re making such a powerful choice for yourself. 💚
💚 Hi @lady_x! We’re thinking of you and wanted to share that the video we mentioned, focused on healing core wounds through self-reflection, is now live! ✨ We hope it gives you the clarity and tools to continue moving forward with strength and self-love. Thank you again for sharing your journey and inspiring this important topic. We’d love to hear your thoughts if you check it out! 💚
I'm close to someone who is going through this. I'd add: Even in the very earliest stages, also work super proactively to shore up your own social support network and activities that feel meaningful, outside of that person. If you don't have many friends for whatever reason, make it a new priority to make new friends (a major courage-requiring skill in itself), including starting more superficial-feeling friendships (which may or may not deepen) as long as they are basically positive. The places that are special with that person--go there with other people too so you can potentially break up without psychologically losing all your favorite places too. (Bonus points if you sometimes genuinely aren't available to the person because you already made other plans and you're prioritizing yourself and that fuller life, not just that person.) The point is to build up a full life that the person is just one portion of, so you can leave without going to total aloneness/emptiness, which can be too brutal to withstand. There's a reason a classic abuser strategy is to isolate the abused person--because an isolated person is less likely to leave. So non-isolate yourself in advance.
Thank you so much for sharing this incredible insight, Laura! 💚 You’re absolutely right-proactively building a strong social support network and reclaiming personal spaces can be so empowering, especially in the early stages of recognizing these dynamics. Your advice about creating a fuller life and avoiding isolation is so important, and it’s such a compassionate reminder to prioritize oneself in the process. 🌟 We’re so grateful you shared this perspective-it’s a valuable addition to the conversation and will likely resonate with so many others. If you have more thoughts or ideas, we’d love to hear them. Thank you for being part of this community! 💚
Also while I agree with the narrative about having a complete life before a relationship, I also don’t agree that is the only correct way to go about involving oneself romantically, and practically with someone who’s supposedly there to be your life partner… One should be able to believe someone’s words. It’s terrible people that aren’t honest exist. Why would someone try to use someone else? It’s so inhumane
@@AsiaRivera Thank you for sharing this observation. 💚 It’s true that there can be some overlap in behaviors between avoidants and narcissists, such as emotional distancing or difficulty with vulnerability. However, the root causes and motivations behind these behaviors are quite different. Avoidant attachment stems from learned strategies to protect oneself from emotional discomfort in relationships, often tied to early attachment patterns. Narcissistic traits, on the other hand, are more aligned with personality structures that prioritize self-preservation and validation in ways that may harm others. We’re careful to focus on attachment styles in our videos, but we understand how these distinctions can get blurred. If this is something you’d like us to explore further in a video, let us know. 💚
@@AsiaRivera Thank you for sharing your perspective. While we encourage building a full and fulfilling life before or alongside a relationship to maintain independence and self-worth, we also believe that relationships are spaces for connection, mutual growth, and trust. You’re absolutely right that honesty is a critical foundation for any healthy partnership-it’s heartbreaking when someone’s words and actions don’t align. 💚
Walking away is such a brave and difficult step, and it’s completely okay to feel all the emotions that come with it. 😢😭 Even through the pain, this decision reflects your strength and commitment to yourself. Please know you’re not alone, and we’re sending you so much love and support as you navigate this moment. 💚 Be gentle with yourself-you deserve care and healing.
Woah looking back 25yrs i got terrible advice from a Psychologist she kept saying my ex was an Enigma and seemed to think he was quite a cool guy for me lol....damn Yes I figured it out and left but I cried for years over it, she never taught me how to self reflect and I guess I had no guidance back then and that's what i needed her for, ugh . Self -Re-Parented Here. Love this videos details - brings so much clarity! Thank You. Happy 2025🙏
Thank you so much for sharing your experience-it sounds like you’ve come such a long way on your journey. It’s incredible that you’ve embraced self-reparenting and found clarity over the years. We’re so glad this video resonated with you and could bring additional insights. Learning to reflect and heal can be so challenging without guidance, and your story is a testament to your strength and resilience. 🙌 Wishing you continued growth and a beautiful 2025! If there’s anything you’d like us to cover in future videos, let us know-we’re here to help. 💚
My partnerin is an avoidant type of personality. Lovely, but she needs a lot of space for her own things; it is difficult to express her feelings. Somehow i feel that there is connection between us, but I used to lose this feeling when we were apart. No telephones/communication, no interest, no contact... The most important lesson for me is to remain authentic to my own needs. It needs composure, setting boundaries, and communication skills. The second lesson is that not all avoidance partners are the same. It is not black or white. Bringing someone to therapy without convincing him that she/he has a problem is difficult. Expressing needs that were never previously discussed is also difficult. When kids are in the game, it becomes much more complex. Finally, it all depends on how much trust and connection there is in a relationship, even if the other part is avoidant or not. Saying that I think that interest in the relationship and the partner has less to do with the attachment type and more with appreciation of what the other part is offering.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and reflections-it’s clear you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into navigating your relationship. 💚 You’re absolutely right that staying authentic to your own needs while setting boundaries and fostering communication is essential, especially in relationships where avoidant tendencies are present. It’s also such a valuable insight that not all avoidant partners are the same and that trust and connection can transcend attachment styles when both partners are willing to engage meaningfully. It’s true that introducing therapy or expressing previously unspoken needs can be challenging, but the work you’re doing to approach these dynamics with composure and intention is inspiring. If there are specific topics or challenges you’d like us to explore further, let us know-we’d love to support you and others on this journey. 💚
I had lived Kim's story the past four years - but with (incomplete) understanding and (sometimes conflicting) information I put together for myself. The progress through the stages was therefore overlong and very painful. i had, unsuprisingly only partially worked out step 5 (stopping at the "only if they would work on it and could discuss the relationship" bit). I can't help wishing that I had watched this years ago - esp wroking out my ideal relationship vision and firmly defining the must haves and deal breakers Thank you for these videos
Thank you so much for sharing your story. 💛 It takes incredible strength and perseverance to navigate such a journey, especially with incomplete or conflicting guidance. We’re so glad this video resonated with you, particularly step 5-it really is the key to maintaining progress and protecting the growth and peace you’ve worked so hard to achieve. Refining your relationship vision, must-haves, and deal-breakers can still be transformative, even now. 💡 Your experience is valuable, and we’re honored to have played a part in your continued healing. If there’s anything else you’d like us to explore in future videos, let us know. 💚
Thank you so much for your kind words! 💚 It’s great to hear that the video resonated with you and that you’re currently in stage 3-it’s such a significant part of the process. Stay strong and keep moving forward; your dedication to growth is truly inspiring. If there’s anything we can do to support you further or topics you’d like us to explore in future videos, please let us know. 💚
Hello I am new to this channel. I have a avoidant ex-husband whom I have shared custody of our children. I am desperate need of how to manage no contact while co-parenting. I don’t want to break silence with him however I know I have to communicate with him because our kids are still in grade school. Not having contact with them gives me a little bit of peace but if I could get advice on the best way to communicate with him without having to communicate with them ( if that makes sense). Thank you! P.S. my no communication is not to try to get them back but to cut all ties. I always had secure attachment but then turned into Anxious while being in a 10 year relationship with him. I only learned attachment style a year ago.
Welcome to our channel, Liliana, and thank you for sharing your story. 💚 Co-parenting with an avoidant ex can be incredibly challenging, especially when you’re trying to balance communication for your children while maintaining peace for yourself. It makes perfect sense that you’re seeking ways to communicate effectively without unnecessary engagement. One approach we often recommend is using structured communication tools like email or co-parenting apps (e.g., OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents). These platforms allow you to keep communication focused on logistics and avoid unnecessary emotional exchanges. Setting clear boundaries for what and when you’ll communicate can also help create a sense of control and reduce stress. It’s also worth exploring ways to rebuild your secure attachment within yourself as you navigate this dynamic-it’s so powerful that you’ve recognized the impact of the relationship and are actively seeking growth. 💚 If this is a topic you’d like us to dive deeper into in a future video, please let us know. You’re not alone in this, and we’re here to support you!
@ Thank you so much. I will look into the co-parenting apps. I am so thankful to find your page. I found this video super helpful to me. I do want to work on my attachment style now that I am divorced. I have subscribed to your channel and hope to see more helpful videos to help heal and grow. Thank you -Liliana
Thank you so much for your request, Crissy-it’s such an important topic! 💚 We’re excited to share that on Friday we released a video all about healing core wounds and building self-worth and self-efficacy. It dives deep into this process and offers steps to help navigate it. You can find it on our channel, and we hope it provides the guidance and insights you’re looking for! Let us know your thoughts if you get a chance to watch it. 💚
@@crissy_hold_the_h Hi Crissy! Thank you for taking this step to dive into the work-it’s so encouraging to see your dedication to growth and reflection. 💚 Here’s the link to receive the workbook: eepurl.com/iT8Kx-/ After signing up, you’ll receive an email with access to the Must Haves and Deal Breakers workbook. If you don’t see the email, please check your spam or promotions folder, and let us know if you have any trouble-we’re happy to help! Wishing you all the best as you work through it, and we’d love to hear how it goes for you. 💚✨
Thank you so much for sharing your interest in this topic! 🌟 We absolutely hear you, and a video on identifying core beliefs and core wounds is such an important step in understanding ourselves and our patterns in relationships. We’ll prioritize creating a dedicated video to walk you through this process in detail-stay tuned! In the meantime, feel free to share any specific questions or areas you’d like us to cover. Your feedback helps us make these videos as helpful as possible. 💚
💚 Hi @chandraghosh7746! We wanted to let you know that we’ve just released the video on identifying core beliefs and core wounds that you requested! 🌟 It dives into how these beliefs shape relationships and offers actionable steps to begin the healing process. We hope it provides the guidance you were looking for-thank you again for inspiring us to create it! Let us know your thoughts after watching. 💚
No contact is impossible when you have minor children and coparent with your ex husband. I keep going back, wanting to tey6again and I don't know why I can't let go. Im anxious and he is avoidend. Would like a video about how to handle this. I still love him and my kids are so young. It's so hard for them too.
Thank you so much for sharing your story-it takes a lot of courage to open up about such a challenging situation. 💚 Co-parenting with an avoidant ex while navigating anxious attachment can feel overwhelming, especially when young children are involved. We can empathize with how complex and emotionally draining this must be for you. We’ll definitely consider creating a video on this topic as we plan our upcoming content-it’s such an important area to explore. In the meantime, structured tools like co-parenting apps (e.g., OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents) can help keep communication focused on logistics while maintaining boundaries. Please know you’re not alone, and we’re sending you strength and support as you navigate this journey. 💚
@TehrinaAndJoel thank you. I think I have some sort of trauma bond or core belief or something that keeps me wanting to go back to him or not accepting the situation. Also I suck at maintaining boundaries. Why is this? And what can I do to change my childhood wounds etc to stand strong. Please will you help with more content. As a South African I could never afford your therapy rates, I can barely afford SA rates at this point.
Thank you for sharing more about your experience. 💚 Recognizing patterns like trauma bonds or core beliefs is a huge step toward change, even though it can feel overwhelming. Childhood wounds often influence how we approach boundaries and relationships, but with intentional steps, it’s absolutely possible to create new, healthier patterns. On Friday we released a video about core wounds and self-reflection that may help address some of your questions-it’s designed to provide insights into understanding and healing these deep-rooted challenges. We hope it’s a helpful resource for you. 💚 We’ll also continue considering these topics as we plan future content, as it’s clear they resonate with many in our community. Your voice is important, and we’re so glad you’re here. Sending you strength and support as you take steps toward healing-you’re not alone on this journey. 💚
Thank you for sharing your story-it’s inspiring to hear how you’re focusing on rebuilding your relationship with yourself and strengthening your faith after such a significant life change. 💚 Prioritizing your well-being and embracing positivity is such a powerful step forward. We’re sending you encouragement and support as you continue this journey. You deserve all the peace and fulfillment ahead! 💚🙏✨
Its better to learn early on and walk away I vet people by friendship If they arent capable of a healthy friendship then they can't be in my inner circle Took a long time to gain wisdom
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Audrey! 💚 Vetting people through friendship before allowing them into your inner circle is such a thoughtful and protective approach. Healthy relationships, whether friendships or romantic, are built on mutual respect and understanding, and it’s so powerful that you’ve learned to prioritize this. It’s amazing how time and experience can teach us these valuable lessons. 🙌 Thank you for contributing to this conversation-it’s insights like yours that make this community so special! 💚
Thank you for your comment-it’s such an important question. 💚 The decision to walk away or stay and support someone often depends on their willingness and ability to engage in growth and mutual effort. If someone with avoidant tendencies is open to reflecting on their behaviors, communicating, and working toward change (whether through therapy, personal growth, or conversations), it’s possible to build a stronger connection together. However, if they’re unwilling to acknowledge or address the impact of their avoidance, and the relationship consistently leaves one partner’s needs unmet, it may be healthier for the other person to step away. Ultimately, the key factor is whether both partners are willing to show up and invest in the relationship. We hope this helps clarify. 💚
Thank you for your question-it’s such an important distinction to understand! 💚 While avoidant attachment behaviors and narcissistic traits can sometimes appear similar (e.g., emotional distancing or difficulty with vulnerability), they have very different root causes and motivations. Avoidant attachment stems from a learned response to emotional intimacy, often developed in early relationships, where vulnerability felt unsafe. It’s about protecting oneself from perceived threats of closeness or rejection. Narcissistic traits, on the other hand, are more about seeking validation or control, often as a way to maintain a sense of superiority or self-esteem. The key difference lies in intention: avoidants are often protecting themselves, while narcissists may intentionally or unintentionally manipulate others to meet their own needs. If this is a topic you’d like us to explore in depth in a future video, let us know-we’d love to provide more clarity! 💚
“Their needs aren’t being met”. AKA, give me what I want, when I want it, and if I don’t get it, then the problem is with you. Some people are so entitled that they don’t understand they have a reciprocating responsibility. These therapists are basically encouraging people to remain children demanding that others take care of them instead of telling them to grow up and learn how to gain joy from life by giving of themselves in a way that they are able. I’m starting to think that therapy encourages people to be narcissistic instead of growing past these childish temperaments.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. Our intention is to empower individuals to reflect on their own needs, boundaries, and contributions in relationships-not to encourage entitlement or a one-sided dynamic. Healthy relationships are about mutual respect and reciprocity, where both partners are willing to communicate and show up for each other. We also focus on encouraging personal growth and accountability, as healing and secure attachment begin within ourselves. It’s important to us to foster a nuanced and balanced approach to these topics. If there’s a specific part of the video you’d like us to clarify or expand on, we’d be happy to engage further. Thank you for watching and contributing to this conversation. 💚
✨ Struggling to walk away from an avoidant relationship? ✨ You’re not alone. 💞In this video, we break down the 5 essential steps to help you recognize when it’s time to leave and how to do it in a healthy, self-empowering way.💚 And if you would like our Must Haves and Deal Breakers Guide to begin taking these steps, here’s the link: eepurl.com/iT8Kx-/ Share your story or ask questions in the comments. Your insights could help someone else on their journey. Let’s support each other in this community and grow together. 💚
Thank you for your comment-it’s an important distinction to address. 💚 While avoidant attachment behaviors and narcissistic traits can sometimes look similar on the surface (e.g., emotional distancing or withdrawal), they stem from very different root causes. Avoidant attachment is tied to a person’s learned strategies for dealing with vulnerability and connection, often developed in early relationships. Narcissistic behaviors, on the other hand, are more associated with personality structures that include a need for validation and control. We’re careful to focus on attachment styles in our videos to provide clarity and avoid conflating the two. If you’d like, we can explore this distinction further in a future video. Thank you for raising this question-it helps us create more precise and helpful content! 💚
We heard you in the comments below asking for a deeper dive into how to identify and heal core wounds-and we’re so excited to share that we created a dedicated video on this topic! 💚 It’s all about understanding core wounds, building self-compassion, and creating a foundation for healthier relationships - first with yourself and then with others.
We released it on Friday, and you can find it now on our channel. Let us know your thoughts, and as always, we thank you for being part of this amazing community! 💚✨ua-cam.com/video/kUoSgDI_Lv8/v-deo.htmlsi=KgXXa_fEvugc9lr9
My DA did not have enough emotional bandwidth to support a romantic relationship. He got too scared getting close to me and maintaining regular communication. He pulled away for days and sometimes weeks at a time that left me very confused. I understand so much more now. I put my energy into myself and feel a lot better. Thank you ❤🙏🧬
Thank you so much for sharing your story. ❤ It sounds like you’ve done incredible work in understanding your experience and shifting your focus toward self-growth-that takes so much courage and strength. 🙌 We’re so glad the video resonated with you and that you’re feeling better now. Sending you lots of support as you continue this journey. If there are any other topics you’d like us to explore, let us know. 💚
Good luck. Know that nothing changes until they are ready to put in the very very difficult work.
If you're here, then deep down you know that it's time to walk away.
As difficult as it was to leave a partner after 4.5 years of hoping they'd change, take accountability, show up, reflect, communicate, or even agree to spending time together, I knew I had to. You can't get back to that honeymoon phase you had in the beginning.
I miss them, but I wouldn't trade the peace I have for that toxic dynamic.
Thank you so much for sharing your story-it takes incredible strength and self-awareness to make the decision to walk away from a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs. 💚 You’re absolutely right that while the honeymoon phase can feel so powerful, staying in a toxic dynamic comes at the expense of your peace and well-being.
We’re so glad to hear that you’ve found a sense of peace after such a difficult journey. Your story will undoubtedly resonate with and inspire others who are navigating similar challenges. Thank you for being part of this community! 💚
Just found you. Thank goodness. Left 3 months ago after 10.5 years on/off trying to “fix” it. This is exactly what I need to heal and finally stay away to hopefully find a better relationship in my future. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story, and welcome to our channel! 💚 Leaving a relationship after so many years takes incredible strength, and it’s inspiring to hear that you’ve taken this step toward healing and building the future you deserve. We’re so glad our content is resonating with you and supporting you on this journey. Please know you’re not alone, and we’re here to help. If there are specific topics you’d like us to cover, let us know-we’d love to hear from you! 💚
My husband of 18 years is an extreme DA. Over 60 I am financially dependent upon him, what a lonely place it is, I hardly see him and the silence treatment/stonewalling can last weeks only to resume within days of talking. I only discovered attachments around 18 months ago after years of constantly being confused what the issue was and if only I try harder. Don’t waste years if they’re not willing to change he always told me I’m alright as I am. 😢
Thank you for sharing your experience-it takes so much strength to open up about such a painful and lonely situation. 😢 It’s heartbreaking to feel so unseen and unheard, especially in a long-term relationship. Discovering attachment styles can be life-changing, especially after years of confusion, and we’re so glad you’ve found some clarity. Please remember, you are not alone in this. 💚
We’re sending you so much love and support as you navigate this incredibly challenging time. You deserve to feel valued and emotionally connected. If there are specific topics you’d like us to explore in future videos, please let us know-we’d love to provide resources and insights that could be helpful. 💚
@ after 20 operations mainly for breast cancer and his total lack of any support (only came to see me twice) never asking how I was, no cards or presents for birthdays, anniversary or Christmas and lack of expression in his face is just soul destroying. I also learned that through my own connections with my father (now deceased) that the abandonment wound in me was what keeps me. Trying to get the right help in UK feels like an empty tunnel 🥴
Thank you so much for sharing more about your story-it truly highlights the incredible resilience you’ve shown in such deeply challenging circumstances. 💚
We’re so sorry to hear about the struggles you’ve faced in finding help in the UK. 🥺 We are planning to create some content on navigating attachment wounds, and we hope you will find that helpful. Please know you’re not alone in this-we’re sending you so much love, and we’re here to provide as much clarity and support as we can through our videos. 💚
can you not divorce ?
Use his money and do what you want!
Avoidants...
Please FIX YOURSELVES, find help for crying out loud. You literally have a decision to make to be fulfilled.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 💚 It’s true that healing and growth require self-awareness and intentional action, and we hope to inspire everyone-whether avoidant or otherwise-to take steps toward greater fulfillment and connection. At the same time, we recognize that change can be a complex and deeply personal journey. Thank you for being part of this conversation and helping highlight the importance of self-growth! 💚
Avoidants are emotionally immature
They have a victim mentality and choose not to heal, do the work
There is alot of power in being a victim
@ Most of the time, they aren't even aware of why the source of their fears, and since we cannot fight/win against an unknown enemy, they cannot efficiently vanquish it. So unless they are actual narcissists, they don't want nor enjoy their situation.
This is exactly what I needed. I’m in the process of cutting ties with a dismissive manipulative avoidant man in a shameful situationship. Please do the video breaking down the process of self reflection. ✨
Thank you for sharing your journey-it takes so much courage to cut ties in such a challenging situation. 💚 We’re so glad this video resonated with you and offered support during this process. Your request for a video on self-reflection is perfectly timed-our next video, scheduled to go live tomorrow at 7 AM MST, focuses on addressing core wounds through a process of self-reflection. ✨ We hope it provides the insights and guidance you’re looking for. Sending you strength as you navigate this journey-you’re making such a powerful choice for yourself. 💚
💚 Hi @lady_x! We’re thinking of you and wanted to share that the video we mentioned, focused on healing core wounds through self-reflection, is now live! ✨ We hope it gives you the clarity and tools to continue moving forward with strength and self-love. Thank you again for sharing your journey and inspiring this important topic. We’d love to hear your thoughts if you check it out! 💚
I'm close to someone who is going through this. I'd add: Even in the very earliest stages, also work super proactively to shore up your own social support network and activities that feel meaningful, outside of that person. If you don't have many friends for whatever reason, make it a new priority to make new friends (a major courage-requiring skill in itself), including starting more superficial-feeling friendships (which may or may not deepen) as long as they are basically positive. The places that are special with that person--go there with other people too so you can potentially break up without psychologically losing all your favorite places too. (Bonus points if you sometimes genuinely aren't available to the person because you already made other plans and you're prioritizing yourself and that fuller life, not just that person.) The point is to build up a full life that the person is just one portion of, so you can leave without going to total aloneness/emptiness, which can be too brutal to withstand. There's a reason a classic abuser strategy is to isolate the abused person--because an isolated person is less likely to leave. So non-isolate yourself in advance.
Thank you so much for sharing this incredible insight, Laura! 💚 You’re absolutely right-proactively building a strong social support network and reclaiming personal spaces can be so empowering, especially in the early stages of recognizing these dynamics. Your advice about creating a fuller life and avoiding isolation is so important, and it’s such a compassionate reminder to prioritize oneself in the process. 🌟
We’re so grateful you shared this perspective-it’s a valuable addition to the conversation and will likely resonate with so many others. If you have more thoughts or ideas, we’d love to hear them. Thank you for being part of this community! 💚
I have a difficult time separating what you’re saying about avoidants from narcissists, everything applies to narcissists too.
Also while I agree with the narrative about having a complete life before a relationship, I also don’t agree that is the only correct way to go about involving oneself romantically, and practically with someone who’s supposedly there to be your life partner…
One should be able to believe someone’s words. It’s terrible people that aren’t honest exist. Why would someone try to use someone else? It’s so inhumane
@@AsiaRivera Thank you for sharing this observation. 💚 It’s true that there can be some overlap in behaviors between avoidants and narcissists, such as emotional distancing or difficulty with vulnerability. However, the root causes and motivations behind these behaviors are quite different. Avoidant attachment stems from learned strategies to protect oneself from emotional discomfort in relationships, often tied to early attachment patterns. Narcissistic traits, on the other hand, are more aligned with personality structures that prioritize self-preservation and validation in ways that may harm others.
We’re careful to focus on attachment styles in our videos, but we understand how these distinctions can get blurred. If this is something you’d like us to explore further in a video, let us know. 💚
@@AsiaRivera Thank you for sharing your perspective. While we encourage building a full and fulfilling life before or alongside a relationship to maintain independence and self-worth, we also believe that relationships are spaces for connection, mutual growth, and trust. You’re absolutely right that honesty is a critical foundation for any healthy partnership-it’s heartbreaking when someone’s words and actions don’t align. 💚
Just walked away 😢 done pain or not 😭
Walking away is such a brave and difficult step, and it’s completely okay to feel all the emotions that come with it. 😢😭 Even through the pain, this decision reflects your strength and commitment to yourself. Please know you’re not alone, and we’re sending you so much love and support as you navigate this moment. 💚 Be gentle with yourself-you deserve care and healing.
Woah looking back 25yrs i got terrible advice from a Psychologist she kept saying my ex was an Enigma and seemed to think he was quite a cool guy for me lol....damn Yes I figured it out and left but I cried for years over it, she never taught me how to self reflect and I guess I had no guidance back then and that's what i needed her for, ugh . Self -Re-Parented Here. Love this videos details - brings so much clarity! Thank You. Happy 2025🙏
Thank you so much for sharing your experience-it sounds like you’ve come such a long way on your journey. It’s incredible that you’ve embraced self-reparenting and found clarity over the years. We’re so glad this video resonated with you and could bring additional insights. Learning to reflect and heal can be so challenging without guidance, and your story is a testament to your strength and resilience. 🙌 Wishing you continued growth and a beautiful 2025! If there’s anything you’d like us to cover in future videos, let us know-we’re here to help. 💚
@@TehrinaAndJoel🙏💜💜💜💚
My partnerin is an avoidant type of personality. Lovely, but she needs a lot of space for her own things; it is difficult to express her feelings. Somehow i feel that there is connection
between us, but I used to lose this feeling when we were apart. No telephones/communication, no interest, no contact...
The most important lesson for me is to remain authentic to my own needs. It needs composure, setting boundaries, and communication skills. The second lesson is that not all avoidance partners are the same. It is not black or white. Bringing someone to therapy without convincing him that she/he has a problem is difficult. Expressing needs that were never previously discussed is also difficult. When kids are in the game, it becomes much more complex. Finally, it all depends on how much trust and connection there is in a relationship, even if the other part is avoidant or not.
Saying that I think that interest in the relationship and the partner has less to do with the attachment type and more with appreciation of what the other part is offering.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and reflections-it’s clear you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into navigating your relationship. 💚 You’re absolutely right that staying authentic to your own needs while setting boundaries and fostering communication is essential, especially in relationships where avoidant tendencies are present. It’s also such a valuable insight that not all avoidant partners are the same and that trust and connection can transcend attachment styles when both partners are willing to engage meaningfully.
It’s true that introducing therapy or expressing previously unspoken needs can be challenging, but the work you’re doing to approach these dynamics with composure and intention is inspiring. If there are specific topics or challenges you’d like us to explore further, let us know-we’d love to support you and others on this journey. 💚
I had lived Kim's story the past four years - but with (incomplete) understanding and (sometimes conflicting) information I put together for myself. The progress through the stages was therefore overlong and very painful. i had, unsuprisingly only partially worked out step 5 (stopping at the "only if they would work on it and could discuss the relationship" bit). I can't help wishing that I had watched this years ago - esp wroking out my ideal relationship vision and firmly defining the must haves and deal breakers
Thank you for these videos
Thank you so much for sharing your story. 💛 It takes incredible strength and perseverance to navigate such a journey, especially with incomplete or conflicting guidance. We’re so glad this video resonated with you, particularly step 5-it really is the key to maintaining progress and protecting the growth and peace you’ve worked so hard to achieve. Refining your relationship vision, must-haves, and deal-breakers can still be transformative, even now. 💡 Your experience is valuable, and we’re honored to have played a part in your continued healing. If there’s anything else you’d like us to explore in future videos, let us know. 💚
This is a very well put together description of the process. I am in stage 3 now...
Thank you so much for your kind words! 💚 It’s great to hear that the video resonated with you and that you’re currently in stage 3-it’s such a significant part of the process. Stay strong and keep moving forward; your dedication to growth is truly inspiring. If there’s anything we can do to support you further or topics you’d like us to explore in future videos, please let us know. 💚
Hello
I am new to this channel. I have a avoidant ex-husband whom I have shared custody of our children. I am desperate need of how to manage no contact while co-parenting. I don’t want to break silence with him however I know I have to communicate with him because our kids are still in grade school. Not having contact with them gives me a little bit of peace but if I could get advice on the best way to communicate with him without having to communicate with them ( if that makes sense). Thank you!
P.S. my no communication is not to try to get them back but to cut all ties. I always had secure attachment but then turned into Anxious while being in a 10 year relationship with him. I only learned attachment style a year ago.
Welcome to our channel, Liliana, and thank you for sharing your story. 💚 Co-parenting with an avoidant ex can be incredibly challenging, especially when you’re trying to balance communication for your children while maintaining peace for yourself. It makes perfect sense that you’re seeking ways to communicate effectively without unnecessary engagement.
One approach we often recommend is using structured communication tools like email or co-parenting apps (e.g., OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents). These platforms allow you to keep communication focused on logistics and avoid unnecessary emotional exchanges. Setting clear boundaries for what and when you’ll communicate can also help create a sense of control and reduce stress.
It’s also worth exploring ways to rebuild your secure attachment within yourself as you navigate this dynamic-it’s so powerful that you’ve recognized the impact of the relationship and are actively seeking growth. 💚 If this is a topic you’d like us to dive deeper into in a future video, please let us know. You’re not alone in this, and we’re here to support you!
@ Thank you so much. I will look into the co-parenting apps.
I am so thankful to find your page. I found this video super helpful to me. I do want to work on my attachment style now that I am divorced. I have subscribed to your channel and hope to see more helpful videos to help heal and grow.
Thank you
-Liliana
Please make a video about healing core wounds building internal feelings of self worth and self efficacy.
Thank you so much for your request, Crissy-it’s such an important topic! 💚 We’re excited to share that on Friday we released a video all about healing core wounds and building self-worth and self-efficacy. It dives deep into this process and offers steps to help navigate it. You can find it on our channel, and we hope it provides the guidance and insights you’re looking for! Let us know your thoughts if you get a chance to watch it. 💚
@@TehrinaAndJoel I'm having trouble downloading the must haves and deal breakers worksheet. Can you send a link?
@@crissy_hold_the_h Hi Crissy! Thank you for taking this step to dive into the work-it’s so encouraging to see your dedication to growth and reflection. 💚 Here’s the link to receive the workbook: eepurl.com/iT8Kx-/ After signing up, you’ll receive an email with access to the Must Haves and Deal Breakers workbook.
If you don’t see the email, please check your spam or promotions folder, and let us know if you have any trouble-we’re happy to help! Wishing you all the best as you work through it, and we’d love to hear how it goes for you. 💚✨
Please make a video on how to know about our core beliefs and core wounds
Thank you so much for sharing your interest in this topic! 🌟 We absolutely hear you, and a video on identifying core beliefs and core wounds is such an important step in understanding ourselves and our patterns in relationships. We’ll prioritize creating a dedicated video to walk you through this process in detail-stay tuned! In the meantime, feel free to share any specific questions or areas you’d like us to cover. Your feedback helps us make these videos as helpful as possible. 💚
💚 Hi @chandraghosh7746! We wanted to let you know that we’ve just released the video on identifying core beliefs and core wounds that you requested! 🌟 It dives into how these beliefs shape relationships and offers actionable steps to begin the healing process. We hope it provides the guidance you were looking for-thank you again for inspiring us to create it! Let us know your thoughts after watching. 💚
No contact is impossible when you have minor children and coparent with your ex husband. I keep going back, wanting to tey6again and I don't know why I can't let go. Im anxious and he is avoidend. Would like a video about how to handle this. I still love him and my kids are so young. It's so hard for them too.
Thank you so much for sharing your story-it takes a lot of courage to open up about such a challenging situation. 💚 Co-parenting with an avoidant ex while navigating anxious attachment can feel overwhelming, especially when young children are involved. We can empathize with how complex and emotionally draining this must be for you.
We’ll definitely consider creating a video on this topic as we plan our upcoming content-it’s such an important area to explore. In the meantime, structured tools like co-parenting apps (e.g., OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents) can help keep communication focused on logistics while maintaining boundaries. Please know you’re not alone, and we’re sending you strength and support as you navigate this journey. 💚
@TehrinaAndJoel thank you. I think I have some sort of trauma bond or core belief or something that keeps me wanting to go back to him or not accepting the situation. Also I suck at maintaining boundaries. Why is this? And what can I do to change my childhood wounds etc to stand strong. Please will you help with more content. As a South African I could never afford your therapy rates, I can barely afford SA rates at this point.
Thank you for sharing more about your experience. 💚 Recognizing patterns like trauma bonds or core beliefs is a huge step toward change, even though it can feel overwhelming. Childhood wounds often influence how we approach boundaries and relationships, but with intentional steps, it’s absolutely possible to create new, healthier patterns.
On Friday we released a video about core wounds and self-reflection that may help address some of your questions-it’s designed to provide insights into understanding and healing these deep-rooted challenges. We hope it’s a helpful resource for you. 💚
We’ll also continue considering these topics as we plan future content, as it’s clear they resonate with many in our community. Your voice is important, and we’re so glad you’re here. Sending you strength and support as you take steps toward healing-you’re not alone on this journey. 💚
28 years of marriage, he left for someone else! I’m getting my realationship with myself back. Closer walk with my Lord also. All positive
Thank you for sharing your story-it’s inspiring to hear how you’re focusing on rebuilding your relationship with yourself and strengthening your faith after such a significant life change. 💚 Prioritizing your well-being and embracing positivity is such a powerful step forward. We’re sending you encouragement and support as you continue this journey. You deserve all the peace and fulfillment ahead! 💚🙏✨
Its better to learn early on and walk away
I vet people by friendship
If they arent capable of a healthy friendship then they can't be in my inner circle
Took a long time to gain wisdom
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Audrey! 💚 Vetting people through friendship before allowing them into your inner circle is such a thoughtful and protective approach. Healthy relationships, whether friendships or romantic, are built on mutual respect and understanding, and it’s so powerful that you’ve learned to prioritize this. It’s amazing how time and experience can teach us these valuable lessons. 🙌 Thank you for contributing to this conversation-it’s insights like yours that make this community so special! 💚
Me and my boyfriend were both avoidents
Why do you walk away from avoiding but help him to stop avoiding
Thank you for your comment-it’s such an important question. 💚 The decision to walk away or stay and support someone often depends on their willingness and ability to engage in growth and mutual effort. If someone with avoidant tendencies is open to reflecting on their behaviors, communicating, and working toward change (whether through therapy, personal growth, or conversations), it’s possible to build a stronger connection together.
However, if they’re unwilling to acknowledge or address the impact of their avoidance, and the relationship consistently leaves one partner’s needs unmet, it may be healthier for the other person to step away. Ultimately, the key factor is whether both partners are willing to show up and invest in the relationship. We hope this helps clarify. 💚
Please can you explain the difference between an avoidant and narcissistic traits? Is it the same thing? How would I know?
Thank you for your question-it’s such an important distinction to understand! 💚 While avoidant attachment behaviors and narcissistic traits can sometimes appear similar (e.g., emotional distancing or difficulty with vulnerability), they have very different root causes and motivations. Avoidant attachment stems from a learned response to emotional intimacy, often developed in early relationships, where vulnerability felt unsafe. It’s about protecting oneself from perceived threats of closeness or rejection.
Narcissistic traits, on the other hand, are more about seeking validation or control, often as a way to maintain a sense of superiority or self-esteem. The key difference lies in intention: avoidants are often protecting themselves, while narcissists may intentionally or unintentionally manipulate others to meet their own needs.
If this is a topic you’d like us to explore in depth in a future video, let us know-we’d love to provide more clarity! 💚
“Their needs aren’t being met”. AKA, give me what I want, when I want it, and if I don’t get it, then the problem is with you. Some people are so entitled that they don’t understand they have a reciprocating responsibility. These therapists are basically encouraging people to remain children demanding that others take care of them instead of telling them to grow up and learn how to gain joy from life by giving of themselves in a way that they are able. I’m starting to think that therapy encourages people to be narcissistic instead of growing past these childish temperaments.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. Our intention is to empower individuals to reflect on their own needs, boundaries, and contributions in relationships-not to encourage entitlement or a one-sided dynamic. Healthy relationships are about mutual respect and reciprocity, where both partners are willing to communicate and show up for each other.
We also focus on encouraging personal growth and accountability, as healing and secure attachment begin within ourselves. It’s important to us to foster a nuanced and balanced approach to these topics. If there’s a specific part of the video you’d like us to clarify or expand on, we’d be happy to engage further. Thank you for watching and contributing to this conversation. 💚
✨ Struggling to walk away from an avoidant relationship? ✨ You’re not alone. 💞In this video, we break down the 5 essential steps to help you recognize when it’s time to leave and how to do it in a healthy, self-empowering way.💚 And if you would like our Must Haves and Deal Breakers Guide to begin taking these steps, here’s the link: eepurl.com/iT8Kx-/
Share your story or ask questions in the comments. Your insights could help someone else on their journey. Let’s support each other in this community and grow together. 💚
Why are you calling narcissists "avoidants"?
Thank you for your comment-it’s an important distinction to address. 💚 While avoidant attachment behaviors and narcissistic traits can sometimes look similar on the surface (e.g., emotional distancing or withdrawal), they stem from very different root causes. Avoidant attachment is tied to a person’s learned strategies for dealing with vulnerability and connection, often developed in early relationships. Narcissistic behaviors, on the other hand, are more associated with personality structures that include a need for validation and control.
We’re careful to focus on attachment styles in our videos to provide clarity and avoid conflating the two. If you’d like, we can explore this distinction further in a future video. Thank you for raising this question-it helps us create more precise and helpful content! 💚