Yelling and Being Passionate - What's the difference?
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- Опубліковано 20 сер 2024
- For many of us, yelling is a sensitive issue.
We inherit from our families of origin certain beliefs, and attitudes about yelling.
Yet sometimes, yelling is a sublimatory expression of feelings, frustrations, or even excitement.
What is the difference then? How can we distinguish and work with yelling?
In this talk, Galit and I unpack this topic through examples from our marriage and the clinic.
Practical tips will help you better work with yelling in your relationships.
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#Yelling #Passionate #Beliefs
I talk loudly and I'm often told I'm yelling. It's been really hard to change this. I am not afraid of confrontation, let's figure it out now and move on. I'm trying to be considerate and empathetic to other people but also I feel like I have to express myself otherwise I'm not authentic.
No you are abusive. Would you like to be yelled at in the street.
Yup. Thats it. Good luck.
Its not ok to yell at each other period. Its not justification to say “ to get it out of your system “ learn other ways more civilized to express yourself
Good point. We're not encouraging just lashing out, but a more relational way to sublimate. Thanks for your comment.
You married? Yelling happens. Women always look at how it should be, and never at the reality.
@@iangutoskie2315 i was not anymore. Yelling constantly is verbal abuse. Luckily I found someone that respects me and viceversa
I really needed to hear this. I’ve been struggling with this very issue. I’m the “turtle” and it stems from different family dynamics. My dad was the “yeller” and my mom was the target. I have assumed that role and take it very personally when my BF gets loud- although it’s not always directed at me. It’s good to see this perspective. I can accept passion. It’s the repetition, within the same “yelling” period and the underlying comments that bother me and I think that is something we can work on.
Thanks for watching and commenting. I love what you wrote and seems that you're very aware. I'd recommend you watch the video on conflict as a tool for personal and relational growth where we talk more about how turtles and thunderstorms can work together: ua-cam.com/video/WWtomrz1qt8/v-deo.html Good luck!
I can barely listen to this. Too much volume for me.😢
Sorry about that. We keep improving as we record more episodes... Thanks for watching :)
Interesting
Thanks
I like y’all !
Thanks :)
“Passionate” is fine as long as it’s not yelling. Artists are passionate. Abusers yell.
Yelling is not subjective. Yelling is objective. If the neighbours can hear or your kids are scared of your yelling that’s abuse. The yeller who thinks they are passionate is simply abusive.
Children who grow up with yellers become abusers. Yelling is no longer acceptable just as hitting children is no longer acceptable.
As an adult your anger and frustration is your problem. You should be able to regulate your emotions.
If you think yelling as an adult is acceptable you are using your spouse and children as a punching bag. Go for a walk. Exercise. Just don’t yell. It’s like hitting someone.
Anyone who is a yeller and tries to excuse it by saying they are passionate ask yourself this: Would you want someone at your work yelling in your face? Would you want some random stranger in the street yelling in your face? No. It’s abuse bordering on an assault. So why do you do this at home?
Home is meant to be a harbour not a tempest. See it from the kids perspective. They must be terrified of their parents.
How would you describe a person who aggressively yells in angry negative responses to film or telly, more so negative news? Is there a slight anxiety thing going on. I come from part a French & Italian family & I can say many are very vocal, emotionally expressive as well w/ body language. A lot of arms moving. Hehe. Idk if it's just me, but I noticed it's more the women in our family who get louder the more they gather as t try to compete.
Really interesting question. It’s hard to tell from your description. It would be fun to screen this video to the whole family and see what discussion arises 😃 Good luck!
Why can’t your wife own her bad behaviour? Yelling as a means of “expressing my anger and frustration” is just abuse. If a woman does it then it’s regarded as “venting” if men do it it’s regarded as “abuse”. There is no excuse for such behaviours. Your wife deflects all the time. It’s never her fault. Most men would have divorced her by now.
Are you a turtle or a thunderstorm? Tell us...
Thunderstorm
@@tristan8806 Thanks
Thunderstorm. I'm passionate! My mom was a screamer, so my volume increasing or I start talking more using my hands... I get passionate. But when the turtle responds immediately with "Stop yelling at me. Thats verbal abuse. I won't take it." I'm like, "wait what?? I am responding with passion to point out that what happened really hurt my feelings!" LOL telling me I am abusive SUCKS because of how I was treated as a child. I know yelling. Yelling is used to demean you and make you feel small. So mentioning that it is abuse can quickly turn to me wanting to actually yell! Thats when I take a time out to do mindfulness and continue to try to discuss it later. Hahaha I like you guys.