How to start a conversation about suicide | Jeremy Forbes
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- Опубліковано 13 чер 2018
- Is there someone in your life dealing with anxiety, depression or thoughts of suicide -- but is too ashamed to talk about it? Jeremy Forbes saw this happening around him, and now he's on a mission to teach people how to start a conversation about it. In this deeply personal talk, Forbes shares his approach to helping a group of traditionally silent men in his community open up about their struggles. "We can all be life preservers," he says.
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"You need to find a place where you're comfortable to talk."
Like that exists...
People *refuse* to acknowledge that the second you say “I’m suicidal” there is NO counseling......NO understanding........you are taken away to a mental hospital for two weeks & THAT is the truth.
Two weeks pass by & your apartment is given away,you lose your job & your university or community college has dropped you from all your classes.
I dare anyone to tell me I’m wrong.
Francais Lover:
I do not know where you're from, and that maybe true there (if so that's damn horrible) but that certainly isn't the way it's treated everywhere. Have not gone through the process here myself, but basically most suicidal people do not end up in a mental hospital, you basically have to be psychotic to be admitted to a psych ward against your will. If you're suicidal and/or depressed you're basically first given a time to a doctor who goes through the situation with you, determines if it's something you need meds for (not taht you have to take them, but for severely depressed people medication can work as a first aid) and then you're given psychotherapy (usually) where you meet every week or every other week with a therapist.
Have a friend who's been going to therapy because of this for some time. Hasn't lost his (student) apartment and is still in school. He spent 1,5 weeks in a hospital earlier but that was out of his own choosing because he felt so bad he didn't think it would be wise for him to be alone.
So again: no idea where you're from, and I'm not saying it's perfect here either, people fall through the cracks etc, but that's certainly not the way to handle suicidal people, nor is it the way they are handled everywhere.
@@hopefulmelancholy7514 ,its a disgrace and the ignorance from the "help"
I have some pretty consistent depression and anxiety. I used to struggle a bit with suicidal thoughts as a result (which is no longer the case)... BUT even knowing what i know now and being in my situation. I don't know what anyone else could do to lift this feeling. (past present or future)
I'm not worried about people finding out. I'm not worried about their response. I could honestly care less about how they view me. I just want these negative feelings gone without taking medication.
hearing "i love you" and "people care about you" doesn't make the hurt lessen in any way.
That's great if people love me, but why cant I love me?
I'm a rather deep thinker as well, and often times brutally honest. whenever i think about talking to someone about how i'm feeling when i'm down, i just think... "what are they going to say that you don't already know"
and unfortunately the answer is nothing. They can say that i have to just keep trying, or keep my head up. Or they can even give me a scientific answer proving that i am not in control of how emotions come and go. but in the end of the day, it doesn't help or change anything...
all they can do is comfort you, and quite frankly at that point, id rather just comfort myself.
With that said, i don't think we should just give up on trying to help. But i do want to point out that some of us need a much different approach.
Kyle Jennings I needed this today. Thank you
Kyle Jennings I know you have more to say. I'm listening if you go on.
Sharing our thoughts and feeling with honesty the best we can - as you already did- is sometimes lifechanging. To be able to trust and connect with other human being instead of living isolated in our own mind is a big step towards hope. The isolation is the true problem in case of depression, more than depression itself.
I agree with you nobody will solve our problem but sharing our truth is the big step . Sometimes just to be able to feel some kind of human conexion, no matter how small, could be the first step to a bearable life. So thanks for sharing yours
The topic is good but as an individual it didn't give me any useful information unfortunately.
I still don't know how to speak about suicide with someone who is struggling
Életem morzsái blog Ask people if they are ok, don't make fun, listen, share your own vulnerability and struggle.
The best thing to do is listen. If you feel someone is struggling, especially with depression, then they won't want to 'bother' you with their issues. However, if you pull them to the side and genuinely confide in them, and want them to open up, then say i am here if you want to talk. The likelihood is they won't at first, but knowing it is there means a lot! Also, (say it is in your work place or friend) when you see them just ask, 'how are you feeling', ' how are you holding up' or remind them they can speak with you. It is the simple things that mean the most during painful times. Someone simply asking and going out their way to make sure you are ok means a lot to the person. So the simple answer is, talk and listen. If they try to play it off as if no one cares and they're burdening you, tell them the opposite. Try build their self esteem up, invite them out for coffee or something and be patient. It isn't a quick conversation and they're better, it may be they wont ask for help and they may refuse it. But be patient, persistent and most of all be gently and kind. When someone has no selfesteem and selfworth, someone taking an intrest in their mental health has the potential to change a person's life, and raise them up.
Életem morzsái blog ,
Plan "coffee/lunch" somewhere that is not crowded or distracting, is comfortable setting,..
Have Absolutely No Judgement & Really truly listen, let nothing interrupt, show you care & Express concern. Even if its with face/head & body language while they talk..ie: a nod, place your hand on theirs briefly, hand them a tissue..
Be vulnerable, let them know you get down/depressed/have lows & who/what helps you.
AND be prepared to hear what you might find scary/uncomfortable and uncertain- but if you don't know what to do, say that honestly, and offer to help find answers/help for them.
You can write down a few things ahead of time, Resources, questions, quotes/poems/scripture, maybe a counselor, minister..people you and they might trust, are mature, compassionate and discreet.
But, do not write down too much. You dont want them to feel attacked or overwhelmed!
Életem morzsái blog listening doesn't help. People don't just need people to listen, then need someone to talk to them and make sense to them.
I think his point is that you'd have to go to one of these whole events, so that you could have resources to look up, example situations, etc. It's not the kind of thing that can be simplified into a 10-minute laundry list, so he didn't try. There's no cure-all slogan for approaching these things.
If he's inspired you, I'd suggest looking up his organization and seeing if they give any links to resources. Alternately, you could see what opportunities to learn more might be available in your community, in terms of counseling, etc. I think he was trying to give one example to show that with the right approach-making people comfortable, approaching things on their terms, etc.-you can guide people to the resources rather than make them feel cornered and stigmatized.
This is such an important topic and I really appreciate the solution they came up with. It all starts with building communities and a culture where people feel safe to share their troubles with each other.
Já um tempinho que não passava por este belíssimo canal ✨🌹✨
Most comments here missed the point because it seems people expect an easy slogan to be able to start a conversation about suicide.
What the speaker makes clear is that
respect for mental health problems is essential,
after that find enough time and a safe space,
ask the most simple question : Are you ok?
If the answer is "no" , ask : What's wrong? .
Then just listen.
Listening is the best thing we can do because the big problem is not depression but the isolation and disconnection with other human beings.
“Don’t use my Xbox while I’m dead”
Thank you for talking about this
The stigma of depression needs to reworked for society to be conversational to depression.
i saw him a few days ago. hes amazing.
Thanks this video helpfull
I have lived 30 years of my life with depression and anxiety. I wish that these illnesses were as acceptable as cancer, MS, etc. Sadly, they are not YET. I still have hope.
yeah
Thank you
Loved it!!
Listen and Love
Allow medical assisted end of life and you have a fair system where you are actually honoring the individuals needs and desires ... you also have to be Honest and admit that suicide is not always a bad choice.
That is not the point of the talk and you know that right? He is saying that we build communitys where it is frowned uppon to talk about not feeling well. Even if your life is okay you can feel drawn to suicide. THis talk is about beeing accepting of emotional openness and the problem that a cultur of either beeing strong or weak can make.
Nothing about wishing to die befor a terminal illness slowly kills you in this talk. (while those that whish for that also should talk to their friends and familie to not let them suffer even more)
Medical assisted end of life is/could be a good thing for some. Under strict laws it already exist in the Netherlands. But personally, I would never use it. I can't stand the horror of dying in a (hospital) bed while slowly drifting away surrounded by crying family. I would do it in solitude with a bang and on my own terms. Government regulated dead is not for me.
Robert van den Eijk *regulated death
yeah right
I need help like this at times.
Doctors actually have to listen too... I've had a lot of issues with that.
Thank you for this, this was needed 💜
Remember guys, suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it on to someone else.
hmmm, may be not but it seems so
10:57 and what about people who dont want to say they are not ok and say they are ok ;/
You start it the same way you end it: "I love you mom"
Sebastian Elytron that’s not how I’d end it
Your comment killed me dude.
Emol
Thats actually deep
“Suicided”is that even a word
Naz Chaudry yes
I understood it, so it works. There’s a trend these days of verbing nouns. See? I just verbed “verb.” I’m sure there’s a proper grammar terminology for this phenomenon.
It beats "committed suicide" like it's a crime. "Suicided" works!
No. No it isn't.
eimear143 I would prefer “died by suicide” but it works
But youll never know that pain of regret if you always work hard
🦋
Problem is that you don't want to scare loved ones. You also don't want to tell your co-workers because it can harm your career. On top of that, it will hurt your chances of getting a mortgage or future insurance payout in case of injury after accident. And maybe the worst thing here in the Netherlands, suicidal people (even children) get on waiting lists (often 3 to 12 months while having an acute deadly decease!!). And this is all apart from self-doubt, lack of energy, pride, avoiding confrontation, etc. There are too many hurdles which can all be avoided by taking the one hurdle of killing yourself. And even when people do get help, curing people is often a lot of guesswork, little science and terrible medication. This all shouldn't be necessary. But mental healthcare and societies stance towards it is still in its dark ages.
This is how we beat suicides. This stuff melts away in the light of communication with understanding people.
what if it is otherwise?
I just came here for the comments.
practice, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it eventually
You forgot to add "Nyuck nyuck nyuck." (Think Curly of the 3 Stooges.)
Hey, hold my beer.
Quite timely. Anthony Bourdain hung himself and most of the conversation I've heard is whether or not he's a coward for killing himself, especially since he has an underage child. That's not helping the dialogue on the subject of suicide AT ALL.
On 13 august 2020 I was at home than out of the middle of nowhere ASADA turned up to my home. They said there is a dopping investigation going on!!
Someone had ordered drugs from overseas and used my identity!! Border force seized it than called ASADA. My mental health than right down the entire time ASADA treated me with no respect they did not care about my mental health. It’s now 6 months later and still feeling so suicidal I just don’t understand it why or how ASADA could be so nasty to me they did not care about my mental health there was absolutely no mental health support or anything. I get treated like a criminal for a crime that I did not commit and what happens to the person that used my identity to commit a crime??? Absolutely nothing!! It is such a disgrace the way how ASADA treated me that’s why I’m out there getting the message to all athletes this is a warning to all athletes in Australia no one does not deserve to be treated the way ASADA treated me!!
But guys a depressed will never tell you : "i am sad"
hmmm, what they tell?
they tell I am so happy?
All you have to do is just JUMP to the point.
"Suicided" is a murder made to look like a suicide. Excellent TT!!
nothing at all
Oh, yes, I’m sure that’ll help. /s
Wow suicides a real topic today
People need to first start by acknowledging suicide isn't always wrong. Some people are too miserable to live and should be allowed to die if they want to. Instead society says they're dumb or bad and so they do it in private rather than having a proper goodbye with family and friends.
*truth*
I think that, while suicide is arguably not always wrong, it should still not be accepted as an option, because for the majority of people, it is wrong, since things will get better in the end for 99% of people, and there's no way to distinguish whose lives will improve and whose won't.
Thank you. Suicide is a human right.
Who are you to decide for someone else?
yes i agree
How to start a conversation about suicide: "So have you ever thought about killing yourself?" then proceed to list all the famous people who have killed themselves in the past and how fun it would be to haunt people if ghosts turn out to be real.
Death is nothing. It's not relaxing, it's not freedom, all it does is take away all the enjoyable moments in your future which could easily be vastly greater than you currently anticipate. Life changes year by year, don't take life away from your future self. If sleeping a lot helps you through hard times then do that but don't give it up because you will find yourself caught in moments that you're happy to be alive to experience.
ゆい714 Bullseye. Finally an answer.
Don't kid yourself. We are all cornered rats.
I never thought that tradies could feel depressed since they earn so much money. Anything less than $2000 per week is a bad week. That said, probably a tradie best bet for emotional support would be to pay cash for a psychologist since they are confidential and less judgmental than other people.
Ez say did you see the number of suicides this year its alot wtf
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🙅🙅
Whats a "Tradie"?
Men tell health daze
Ok ok, wait up,
Remind me what a Tradey is?
jesus my friend just committed suicide this Sunday and this video is posted now...
I'm sorry about your friend. Were you surprised?
Harvest tool is in the b in my fortnite keybinds
Half way through the video and It answered nothing. Maybe start with a good point vs making up words and talking about nothing.
did he mean "commit suicide"?
avedic 'to commit' isn't only about breaking the law...
It's kind of unfortunate that his name is Jeremy...
I'll be dead soon :(
jankoo11 ask help to an online in your country, they can help you. hope you will be fine, don't solve a momentary problem witv such permanent solution.
Waked thanks man I'm planning on calling someone tomorrow.
jankoo11 Please stay.
Me too
First: Hello. How are you? I'm fine, thanks! Have you attempted or thought suicide recently?
If yes, then: Oh boy. Let me tell you some funny jokes about it! You are really going to love these!
If no, then: Oh boy. Let me tell you some funny jokes about it! You are really going to love these!
No, no, no. This approach is not at all appropriate when discussing suicide. Suicide is a sensitive topic, and joking about it can be incredibly hurtful and offensive. It's not a laughing matter.
Remember that the goal of starting a conversation about suicide is to offer support and help, not to make light of a serious situation. Even if you're trying to lighten the mood, joking about suicide is not the way to do it. Instead, focus on being empathetic, listening actively, and offering resources for professional help.
Pretty much You just don't if your problem is with money. Sorry
People that commit suicide are so selfish
lol, people who dont are not selfish mf
nice 1. 4 me maybe 2 l8
Meh. less about how to start a conversation, more about promote your charity and quite frankly blow your own trumpet...mate.
another clickbait title and after endless emotional story telling, you realize you ain't gonna hear what you came here for.
Wow brilliant ! talk about your condition :o duuuuuuuuuh it would help for sure :B
too many convesations
Wtf is a trady ? Is this guy Australian ?
Ha ha yes, a trady is someone who works in construction, or any physical job like electricians, plumbers.. etc
"...was in July, it was winter..." I'm sorry but i laughed at that, if you live in the north you wil find it funny too, shame on me :(
Every time he said trady his age drops by 1 year I mean come on stop talking like a six years old
P.S. You can't trust nobody
I was wondering what trady meant ? Anyone in any kind of a Trade profession ?
How to start a conversation about suicide:
"Mary, I don't know how to tell you but, your cat died. And all your money has been stolen from your bank account, and your doctor phoned. He said you have cancer. So maybe... Ok I'll just open the windows for you... Jump whenever your ready.. take your time..."
THAT'S HOW YOU START A KICKASS CONVERSATION ABOUT SUICIDE!!!!
I don’t think that’s how it works.
Whoa, that's certainly not how to start a conversation about suicide. In fact, that approach is insensitive, potentially harmful, and might even worsen the situation.
Instead, try a more empathetic and supportive approach. Here are a few tips:
--> Show empathy: Start by expressing genuine concern. Say something like, "I've noticed you've been going through a tough time lately, and I want you to know I'm here for you."
--> Be direct: Don't be afraid to ask if they are considering suicide. Use clear language like, "Are you having thoughts of suicide?"
Listen without judgment: Allow them to express their feelings openly and without fear of being judged.
--> Offer hope: Remind them that help is available and that they're not alone. Offer to assist them in finding professional help.
Remember, a conversation about suicide is delicate and requires empathy, understanding, and a non-judgmental attitude.