These videos are amazing and I feel like they're going to get more and more views over the years. Nobody wants to talk and be open about this. The video you posted about alcoholic hallucinations is something I go back to and watch frequently. I was never quite to the point of having open eye hallucinations, but I had some intense night terrors when I was staying with my parents to detox. It was absolutely horrifying and my mom had to violently shake me to wake me up and she said she had never heard screams like that in her life and she said the look on my face when I came to was of absolute terror.
Thanks Jordan! It's a tough topic to discuss openly. And you raise an interesting point: withdrawal sucks for the person going through it, but it's pretty traumatic for everyone else around you too, like your parents. Mine said the same thing about me. Maybe I'll talk about that next.
I agree 100% with this comment. This man's channel is horribly underrated. I feel like it could help many more people if it were more popular. I went 6 months sober last year but sadly have relapsed recently and am drinking right now as I write this comment. However, watching these videos gives me the courage and strength to know that I will defeat my addiction permanently at some point, just as Bat Country has.
@@harrybaker9044 Thanks Harry! It's been peaks and troughs for me too, walking away permanently isn't easy. I wish you the best of luck, and come back and tell us when you finally decide to knock it on the head once and for all.
@@harrybaker9044 You got this man. I'm on day 15 right now and it's still a daily struggle but I'm finding more strength as the days go on. I have plans with loved ones the next few days that I'm excited for. I am a huge stand up comedy fan and my family would just not go to shows or anything like that because I was so much of a wild card. I'm just happy that they feel comfortable being around me again.
I mention kindling in my newest video. I suffer from it. Those are some nice film cameras. I am into film shooting 35mm myself. Apparently, it's unmedicated (cold turkey) withdrawal over and over that fires the effect. That is why you hear people say, "It was easy to quit the first few times. Now, I can't detox unless I go somewhere." I have seen people who drank a fifth of vodka - who have never withdrawn before - have no problem with a first cold turkey withdrawal. I can't drink more than four days before the shaking and loss of appetite starts. I think you might miss it because you know you are in a place where you will come out detoxed. I have felt the same thing for a place I hate where I've gone to have my alcohol withdrawal treatment.
Hey buddy, thanks for the comment! I'll go check your video out a little later, in the meantime I'm the same, maybe even worse. Four days is now enough to trigger hallucinations. It happens real fast for me. And that's a very positive point about the detox place i went to. I hadn't thought of it like that before.
@@_BatCountry I had really terrible sleep disruptions the first time I went cold turkey. I could not get to sleep. I would get close but hypnic jerks kept blasting me awake. I would get close to sleep and then jerk awake or have a quick dream of falling and snap awake. This stopped on the fourth day. By day six, I was normal except for the next month I felt so fatigued I felt like I was on sedatives. It took over a month after that withdrawal for my homeostasis to return.
Kindling is no joke. I'm at the point where if I get drunk on beer for a day I'm in for 5 nights of insomnia, appetite loss, shakes, sweats, high BP, confusion and even mild hallucinations. It is terrifying to see how rapidly the effect progresses with each cycle. Even though relapse is very easy for people like me, understanding what kindling is and means does give me more reason not to pick up that next drink when temptation comes. I know without a doubt I have already had enough to drink. For several lifetimes to come. Another high quality, well researched and informative presentation. Any damage you have caused yourself is not obvious to me, my friend 😊 Thank you for your work🙏
My brother in christ, I have no clue why you don't have more subscribers. You are well versed, have an amazing set and you edit your videos. I am not addicted to alcohol thank god, I never really was, but I had my own DOC :) Thank god never had to go through withdrawels like this or your DT. It sound absolutly horrible! Sending you love and strength!
Thanks so much my XS! I'm not too worried about subscribers right now, I started doing it just for me and even with the low numbers I'm pulling the feedback has been powerful enough for me to keep going. We're all in it together, my brother in christ
I'm geared up got my gatorade popcorn and my full attention. I only had 4 drinks today so far and its 3 pm not too bad......maybe he coined a new term kindling in reference to alcohol
As a former biomedical student with an interest in pharmacology, you have shown me you have an extremely deep understanding of alcoholism, far in excess of any channel I have seen on the matter before, beyond that of most experts in the field many of whom lack the first hand perspective. Thank you for your high quality contributions to public understanding I must share your vids around, stay strong brother! :D
Thank you Mike! Look out for my very next video, it's actually about a pharmacological experiment into delirium tremens. Hopefully I'll get it finished this weekend (it's a bit of a beast though, so no promises).
You have a very rare ability to talk about horrific topics in a non-horrific way, a way that doesn't overwhelm the listener with depression but actually points to hope and positivity. I think your channel could be huge if you branch out into other maudlin topics while still maintaining your passionate, ultimately optimistic style.
I discovered your channel recently and it's incredibly fascinating to me. I'm not myslef an alcoholic but a (mostly) benzo and opioid addict, but, same as you, i'm fascinated by peoples' rock bottoms, their stories. The way you tell yours is so unique and i cant stop binge watching(pun intended) your videos. Thank you so muvh for sharing it all!
I can vouch for this 100%. Been relapsing on an off for 2 years after being sober 6. I get withdrawals after like 3 drinks now. Full blown death anxiety. If i drink more hallucinations slowly creep in. Love your channel. Thank you ❤
Thanks Kylen. A relapse after so long is even harder I think, because of the disappointment of resetting the clock. Stick with it bud, keep us updated.
Had always wondered about this. I've been a hard binger for years but my worst withdrawal experience took place on working in Canada last year. I was drinking morning noon and night for around 3 months. Long story short I was arrested one night and thrown in the drunk tank. Began hallucinating, having repeated, near constant deja vu and had such bad tremors that I was taken to hospital then a detox facility. Returned to the UK and stayed sober for months until a recent relatively "short" relapse of 2 weeks. Found that when I stopped I was in exactly the same spot as I was back in Canada. There is no reset button.
@@_BatCountry Deja vu would be the best way I could describe it, but I guess it's not entirely accurate. Almost felt like my mind was a skipping cd player. During this most recent withdrawal I was trying to wean myself off slowly as per NHS advice. But when you've been that paralytic it's hard to know where your starting point is and I guess I got mine wrong. Not to mention weaning yourself off a litre plus of spirits would leave you unable to work/drive for a considerable period. "Fortunately" I had been vomiting blood so they were able to admit me to the ward and was given Librium and banana bags at regular intervals over a few days. But as you say I almost think back on the week, aswell as the Vancouver detox with a sense of fondness. Which is absurd. I just felt a sense of comfort knowing I was being taken care of. Bizarre
Omg this is so relatable and makes so much sense thank you ❤ im 7 and a half years sober and still to this day i dont know how i done it. After many years of drinking detoxes
First I've heard of this phenomenon and it describes my experience to a t. I had more than 3 years of sobriety from 2019 to 2022 followed by a string of episodic relapses from late 2022 to today. Even though my binders were often short lived, the severity of my withdraws increased every time and were nothing like what I experienced during my more chronic drinking days years past. This provides all the more reason no to pick up a glass again. Just hit 5 months of sobriety and really want to make it stick this time.
Congrats on your sober time, and on your attitude. Sounds like you recent drinking history is pretty similar to mine. As I've said in more recent videos, once you've crossed that line into withdrawals instead of hangovers, there's no going back to moderation. Ever.
@@_BatCountry Thanks dude! Just discovered this channel and like your style. You also are the spinning image of my current AA sponsor. Would love to see a video on your point of view regarding 12 step programs or what methods have helped you on your sober journey.
Another fascinating, honest and revealing account of the vicious reality of alcohol. Many of your videos have given me such clarity into dissecting my own situation that i have found the will to leave alcohol. I can sincerely wish you the very best, and thank you! 😊
Personally for me the kindling did die down a bit the longer the periods between relapses/binges went on. But of course thats just for me and no one is the exact same. Had some crazy WDs and DTs. So glad to be sober and out of that cycle.
If there ever was a 'Catch 22' situation, then it's continuing to drink to avoid the kindling effect. Your honesty is, as always, greatly appreciated and helpful.
It is no wonder that rehabs don't teach this because relapse for them means a constant stream of money. Wish I had heard of this back in 2018. Bearing in mind it has been studied since 1967. We need this kind of intellectual information that comes from a none profit source. Amen 🙏 🙏 🎉
Very informative. I’d never heard of the “kindling effect” before. I do know that the withdrawal effects are horrendous with each successive binge. I think that age and liver function also play a part. I had no alcohol for 7 years and for various reasons decided to drink during a social event. Nothing had really changed. The pattern of drinking was the same as it used to be. It’s my opinion but I feel that once you have crossed the threshold into abnormal drinking there’s no going back. Thanks again for a most informative video.
I've read a lot about alcoholism but I never heard of the kindling effect and it makes so much sense and explains a lot about my withdrawal experiences as I get older. I've had no alcohol for almost a year and this is something to consider seriously if I have a craving to "celebrate" after one year out of curiosity about how my body will react if I drink again. I've never gone a year without drinking in the last 45 years of my adult life.
Congratulations again on your sobriety! I had a relapse after a couple of years of sobriety and it was immediately as bad as it ever was, my advice is to celebrate your sobriety by staying sober!
This was me everytime. I could go months without a drink, then I would go in a weekend bender, and it was like I never quit drinking at all. Days of insomnia, if I did sleep terrible nightmares, music and voices in my head when I was awake, the sense of impending doom, shakes and sweats. I’m not over a week without a drop and I hope to never have ti experience it again.
@@_BatCountry Thanks man, still on the wagon, not a drop since I posted this comment, thanks for the shout out and I absolutely love the channel and the content, keep up the sobriety, and keep up the great work!
I can relate. Thankyou for giving me some clarity around my lifelong dilemma. I've been clean now for 18 months, my longest period of complete abstinence in thirty five years of addiction. I have calmed mentally and physically yet still haven't been able get a decent nigjts sleep. Functioning as a human being with or without sedation is a struggle. I am finding some acceptance and coming to term with not being alright .
@@_BatCountry thank you I hope all well with you too! - it's been incredibly hard this time but I have hope and support now. I didn't know about the kindling effect, this video was super helpful and I now understand why its so much more challenging this time than it was the last couple of times I had tried.
It's so difficult to articulate, perhaps because it simply makes no sense. Going months sober and a creeping desire when there is something I crave about going through the agony of withdrawal for days and getting to the point where I feel the benzodiazpine working and the tremendous relief of finally falling asleep and staying asleep for 12-15 hours; waking up starving for food. It's insane. I think I may understand what you're talking about in that regard.
I'm not a binge drinker,yet I'm an almost daily drinker of 1-3 drinks.just Unable to drink alot. I've gone between 3 days to 4 months without a drop, although I've had some times where I drank up to 10 drinks and I'm sure more at times,felt so bad from this I haven't drank that much since because I fear the consequences you've mentioned in your videos and that's been extremely helpful.thank you for making these videos.I began drinking at 40, which I feel so stupid for doing because my whole life I never drank,I always strongly disliked alcohol.I still do.why in the world I still drink? No idea.I want to stop so badly and today is the first day of the rest of my life and I'm going to see how long I can go without a drink.another day 1.
Actually your video helped me alot and I had NO idea about the Kindling effect. I understand your concern about possible giving the wrong advice (do not sober up) but no. In my case I quit drinking alcohol after years of drinking. I'm around day 10 and I suffered alcohol withdrawal symptoms (hence why I was looking for info and found your video). In my mind I was kinda thinking "Hey, I will not drink for months, in that time my liver recovered enough to enjoy some binge drinking a couple of times per year" but your video and advice taught me how terrible that idea was. Now my idea is "I suffered withdrawal symptoms and had a bad time these days, if I go back drinking I will have an even worse time when I quit it again (And keep drinking is off the table, I want to be healthy and not destroying my liver) Just giving you my thanks by telling you how your advice helped me.
Beeing sober for a very Long Time now, i can 100% relate to your Experiences. Beeing very Open with my addiction, I am sometimes Approached By Friends and colleagues who ask for Support and help on own or loved one‘s situations. You have a trustability, that allows me to forward your Videos to These people because you have words for things I am Not able to find or able to convey. Thank you!!!
The kindling is what keeps me sober. It made it very objective to me that I will never be able to drink again. If I drink I become physically dependent extremely quickly, and if I stop then I have withdrawals that get worse every time. Have had a number of seizures. Not to mention all of the other problems that alcohol brings.
Omg. I have experienced this more every time I've cold turkey detoxed on my own !! Didn't know what it was called? My drinking patterns are like yours. I am currently on new approximately 8 days in of zero alcohol. 😶🌫️😔
Having it explained like this gives me a new fascination for what's going on in my brain. Had many relapses & more recently some dangerous withdrawals, headng the same way as my dad who descended into insanity & eventually died from head injury as a result of his drinking. That is a very real possibility for me if I don't get on top of this problem now.
Wow that was incredibly powerful and insightful. I have never heard of kindling, and it makes perfect sense to me. Alcohol withdrawal as we all know is hell on earth, and doctors in the uk, wont help you. And they have gotten worse over the years, with less Alcohol intake. Im sure that i am not alone, in procrastinating the efforts to stop, as we all know what is coming. I have experienced 2 seizures - the first time i didnt know what was happening, and the second time, i thought that this was it. I had an hallucination years ago,( containing wild animals in my bedroom, which i have learned is quite common), but i didnt realise that it had a name. I have come to the conclusion that i wouldnt survive another one, and i am determined to live. Like yourself i am a binge drinker and can go months without a drink, and then bang- say goodbye to the outside world for a month. Thank you for your educational video's and explaining the science. You are very good at what u are doing, and i need to continue watching you!!!!
I can't help but feel angry about how poorly my detoxes were managed by medical professionals. They were completely oblivious to the sheer panic and terror these episodes involved. They would literally give me the bare minimum of Valium. It was excruciating. I am glad to hear they are now treating this aggressively. It's astonishing how inept the medical establishment still is when it comes to alcoholism. Often seems like all they've done in 80 years is create a few more labels to conceal their lack of understanding
@@_BatCountry Coming up to 4 years sober in august. I related to your story big time. I too went from a good job and relatively together life to drinking a bottle of vodka a day and being homeless in very short succession. Nothing else mattered but the spirits. I run meetings in a bunch of different detox's and rehabs these days. I couldn't stay stopped until I went full tilt into the 12th step work. Thank you for your videos
Yeah in retrospect I probably would have done things differently. But maybe then the miserable memory of doing inpatient detox wouldn't be as much of a deterrent.
@@D-Fens_1632 None of my terrible experiences were ever a sufficient deterrent when I needed them to be. They usually worked for a few months or maybe longer but often when it was absolutely crucial that I didn't pick up a drink I would. Despite everything I went through I would do it again with full knowledge of ALL the potential consequences. This is the literal insanity of alcoholism.
It was very rare for me to actually feel confident that i could ever get sober. It always felt like i was just waiting for the other shoe to drop and id be back at it, or just give in so i didn't have the thoughts hanging over me. As soon as i did get the feeling of being confident i could quit, i ran with it and have not looked back to see if theres anything worth going back for. There isn't. Not even on my worst days do i think about it. Its not what i do, or who i am anymore.
hi Stu, I'm new here, is the name Bat Country from the DT experience u once involving a bat? if so i think that's pretty cool! kinda like movie, no country for old men, when ur in bat country.. we ain't in Kansas anymore Toto!
I have an image seared into my minds eye from one of many pre-DT experiences, there was a kind of human looking baby, only with the face & head of an opossum! & get this,(as if that isn't freaky enough!) it was smile-snearing at me with a lit cigarette hanging from its lip! & even at the time I was impressed with the savagery of the detail, also, on one episode that did go full blown DT, the sick soundtrack leading up to it was the tune: "Row Row Row your Boat.." ON REPEAT, & if I mentally tried to turn it off or turn it down, it would pick up the tempo, increase volume, & ratchet up the tone, ALL in the most menacing of voices! it's like the Hindu idea of Akashic records, only with DTs, it's as if the mother of all horror story themes has complete access to the collective unconscious of all things hellish & terrifying!
Hi, thanks for your videos. After detox for daily heavy consumption, If a relapse is in the form of 1-2 days drinking then stop, would this be a hangover or kindling? Thanks
Hey Allen. Kindling isn't only restricted to alcohol, in fact a lot neurochemical phenomena are affected. For example, cycles of withdrawal from antidepressants can also have a kindling effect. Hangovers too. You're probably aware that people believe that hangovers get worse with age, right? Well, it's not age as much as it is the kindling effect. I would say that even a short relapse is made worse by kindling, so it might only be a hangover, but it's a kindled hangover.
Can you share your relapse experience? What’s your subjective experience just prior to relapse? Despite experiencing DTs, described them in your other videos as some of the worst experiences you’ve ever had, you go back to the bottle. I know that’s the insanity of addiction - but maybe share your own experience on this, if you can? And what strategies do you now have for avoiding relapse?
That's a really good question Adrian, and I'm not sure I have a good answer prepared. I think I'll make this the subject of my next video. But just so I've given you some kind of answer: I have coping strategies like being aware when I'm feeling 'unsober' and avoiding social events in which I might be tempted to drink. Going to the gym instead of going to an event. My girlfriend is also a sober person and she's incredibly helpful. Yeah, I'm going to try to answer this question better in the next video. I really appreciate the question, thanks.
This is the reason I can not drink. I was bing drinking and was withdrawing several times each month. The last time I withdrew from alcohol was frightening. The anxiety and panic attacks was excruciating.I belive I was so close to going into delirium but went for help and was prescribed Zanx which help. The experience was enough for me to stop for good.
Eventually, I got to the point where every time I fell off the wagon, after about two weeks, I couldn't get another drop of booze in, and it would puke out faster than it went down, then withdrawal, DTs, and hospital every time. The kindling effect may be Satan ordering you not to quit, maybe? I really don't know. But, luckily, my body took over and outright refused to take any more! That's what saved me. November 10th will be one year of honest, no slip-ups of not drinking. I avoid the word sober because it has such a depressing vibe, and phonetic. I try to take on small little positive habits when I can, like rejecting depressing words, and many other things. I figure that pennies can eventually add up to millions. I'm still alive, and I'm done being a God damn slave!!
I have this *_really_* bad, I've been through serious withdrawal that got steadily worse as the years went on. No joke, I've been through bad withdrawal well over forty times in twenty years and have had full-blown delirium tremens five times. I know I have brain damage.
Jeez, hard dis on Halifax, Nova Scotia, where I am from - there are several research universities here, so the kindling discovery is not unexpected, actually. Didn’t know about R. Williams’s last gulp being there, but folks can slip up anywhere (Anthony Bourdain in France, etc.).
Interesting. I am addicted. I also grew up with a form of epilepsy and behavior disorders, but never had a "seizure". I was on dilantin then tegretol. Eventually at 16 my doc took me off it because basically I stopped taking the pills and my grades were ok.
Not sure if this will help anyone, but I’m also an opiate addict. Pain pills. I was once on a methadone program for 5 years at a very young age. I got off and struggled with alcohol for many years until I got into recovery, which I’d have months and months of sobriety always followed by hard binging relapses that kicked the shit out of me. I finally decided to get back on a methadone clinic which totally helped with anxiety and all cravings. I no longer drink or do illegal drugs or pills, just take my methadone. It’s really working well for me and I suffered for so many years without it while drinking. F*ck drinking and using. I’ll take the softer, easier way on clinic. 🙏
I think that real danger of alcohol is from its immediate effect on hormones, starting with insulin which spikes up immediately- creating insulin resistance, and ending with testosterone which drops to the level of 80 y/o granny. Even after having few drinks, it takes days of abstinence for hormones to get at normal levels. Meanwhile we are on our own.
I vape. I smoked a bit in my teens and early twenties but switched to vaping really early, when that whole thing was just starting out. So yeah, to your point, I think most of us smoke or vape or something similar.
There's a link between alcohol and smoking. When I drink I crave cigarettes but I hardly ever smoke when sober. Seems like the effects are most enjoyable in combination like with a lot of drugs where users seek combinations to enhance effects
12:23 I dont want to quit now. Sounds like the worst horror film in real life. That is a joke but thanks for being honest. What do you think about taking edible gummy thc or cbd or even smoking it to get to sobriety?
I had forgotten what real energy felt like, yeah, it’s been over 2 years and I don’t crave the stuff anymore, surprisingly I didn’t suffer withdrawal and that was key, not even within the first days after go’ogling Steffon Barkload’s latest and quitting because I wanted to with no pressure or anything.
Simultaneously provides both comfort and creepiness to the rather unsettling content presented in these videos. I struggle to imagine anything else that would feel as fitting, oddly enough
Wow. Totally agree with this. I'm almost 2 years out from my hospitalization and it was horrifying. With the help of my Higher Power and others in my recovery groups I have remained sober, but the pleasant thought of a drink does, to this day, haunt me.
Wow- 😮😮😮… Erm 😕.. now, what 🤦🏻♀️. Damn. We’re in a tight spot 😳! I’ve only withdrawn once cold turkey- after a hospitalization for pancreatitis, a Pancreatectomy & splenectomy back in March ‘24. Recently Jäegermeister has been heavy on my mind, along w some pretty heavy depression. Now I’m learning it’s even more dangerous than I thought. That “noise” … 😣 Is The kenneling effect known in the US ? If I were to tell a Dr where my heads been lately- what would they do 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🥺?
Why do you use a word "insipid" to describe alcoholism? English is my second language but it seems a strange word to use? Insidious I agree with but insipid: I can't really understand in this context. Could you please elaborate. Thank you
@@_BatCountry cheers for the reply. Appreciate it. Love your videos and use them to remind myself why I'm not drinking. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
These videos are amazing and I feel like they're going to get more and more views over the years. Nobody wants to talk and be open about this. The video you posted about alcoholic hallucinations is something I go back to and watch frequently. I was never quite to the point of having open eye hallucinations, but I had some intense night terrors when I was staying with my parents to detox. It was absolutely horrifying and my mom had to violently shake me to wake me up and she said she had never heard screams like that in her life and she said the look on my face when I came to was of absolute terror.
Thanks Jordan! It's a tough topic to discuss openly. And you raise an interesting point: withdrawal sucks for the person going through it, but it's pretty traumatic for everyone else around you too, like your parents. Mine said the same thing about me. Maybe I'll talk about that next.
I agree 100% with this comment. This man's channel is horribly underrated. I feel like it could help many more people if it were more popular. I went 6 months sober last year but sadly have relapsed recently and am drinking right now as I write this comment. However, watching these videos gives me the courage and strength to know that I will defeat my addiction permanently at some point, just as Bat Country has.
@@harrybaker9044 Thanks Harry! It's been peaks and troughs for me too, walking away permanently isn't easy. I wish you the best of luck, and come back and tell us when you finally decide to knock it on the head once and for all.
@@harrybaker9044 You got this man. I'm on day 15 right now and it's still a daily struggle but I'm finding more strength as the days go on. I have plans with loved ones the next few days that I'm excited for. I am a huge stand up comedy fan and my family would just not go to shows or anything like that because I was so much of a wild card. I'm just happy that they feel comfortable being around me again.
@@harrybaker9044 I’m here man if you need someone to talk to.
I mention kindling in my newest video. I suffer from it. Those are some nice film cameras. I am into film shooting 35mm myself. Apparently, it's unmedicated (cold turkey) withdrawal over and over that fires the effect. That is why you hear people say, "It was easy to quit the first few times. Now, I can't detox unless I go somewhere." I have seen people who drank a fifth of vodka - who have never withdrawn before - have no problem with a first cold turkey withdrawal. I can't drink more than four days before the shaking and loss of appetite starts. I think you might miss it because you know you are in a place where you will come out detoxed. I have felt the same thing for a place I hate where I've gone to have my alcohol withdrawal treatment.
Hey buddy, thanks for the comment! I'll go check your video out a little later, in the meantime I'm the same, maybe even worse. Four days is now enough to trigger hallucinations. It happens real fast for me.
And that's a very positive point about the detox place i went to. I hadn't thought of it like that before.
@@_BatCountry I had really terrible sleep disruptions the first time I went cold turkey. I could not get to sleep. I would get close but hypnic jerks kept blasting me awake. I would get close to sleep and then jerk awake or have a quick dream of falling and snap awake. This stopped on the fourth day. By day six, I was normal except for the next month I felt so fatigued I felt like I was on sedatives. It took over a month after that withdrawal for my homeostasis to return.
Kindling is no joke. I'm at the point where if I get drunk on beer for a day I'm in for 5 nights of insomnia, appetite loss, shakes, sweats, high BP, confusion and even mild hallucinations. It is terrifying to see how rapidly the effect progresses with each cycle. Even though relapse is very easy for people like me, understanding what kindling is and means does give me more reason not to pick up that next drink when temptation comes. I know without a doubt I have already had enough to drink. For several lifetimes to come.
Another high quality, well researched and informative presentation.
Any damage you have caused yourself is not obvious to me, my friend 😊
Thank you for your work🙏
My brother in christ, I have no clue why you don't have more subscribers. You are well versed, have an amazing set and you edit your videos. I am not addicted to alcohol thank god, I never really was, but I had my own DOC :) Thank god never had to go through withdrawels like this or your DT. It sound absolutly horrible!
Sending you love and strength!
Thanks so much my XS! I'm not too worried about subscribers right now, I started doing it just for me and even with the low numbers I'm pulling the feedback has been powerful enough for me to keep going. We're all in it together, my brother in christ
I think this might be the first UA-cam video focusing on ‘kindling’. Wishing you many, many likes and views!
Thank you Peter! It's definitely something more people should know about.
I'm geared up got my gatorade popcorn and my full attention. I only had 4 drinks today so far and its 3 pm not too bad......maybe he coined a new term kindling in reference to alcohol
As a former biomedical student with an interest in pharmacology, you have shown me you have an extremely deep understanding of alcoholism, far in excess of any channel I have seen on the matter before, beyond that of most experts in the field many of whom lack the first hand perspective. Thank you for your high quality contributions to public understanding I must share your vids around, stay strong brother! :D
Thank you Mike! Look out for my very next video, it's actually about a pharmacological experiment into delirium tremens. Hopefully I'll get it finished this weekend (it's a bit of a beast though, so no promises).
You have a very rare ability to talk about horrific topics in a non-horrific way, a way that doesn't overwhelm the listener with depression but actually points to hope and positivity. I think your channel could be huge if you branch out into other maudlin topics while still maintaining your passionate, ultimately optimistic style.
As a recovering opiate addict I'm really glad i never liked alcohol, thank you for sharing your story
I discovered your channel recently and it's incredibly fascinating to me. I'm not myslef an alcoholic but a (mostly) benzo and opioid addict, but, same as you, i'm fascinated by peoples' rock bottoms, their stories. The way you tell yours is so unique and i cant stop binge watching(pun intended) your videos. Thank you so muvh for sharing it all!
Thank you mate. As you probably know, benzo withdrawal is similar to alcohol, so this stuff probably feels familiar
Yes, thank you so much for your honest videos
Love the vids, please keep them coming! 🙏
Thanks BleedChamber! Glad you find them useful, and I'll be doing plenty more!
I can vouch for this 100%. Been relapsing on an off for 2 years after being sober 6. I get withdrawals after like 3 drinks now. Full blown death anxiety. If i drink more hallucinations slowly creep in. Love your channel. Thank you ❤
Thanks Kylen. A relapse after so long is even harder I think, because of the disappointment of resetting the clock. Stick with it bud, keep us updated.
Had always wondered about this. I've been a hard binger for years but my worst withdrawal experience took place on working in Canada last year. I was drinking morning noon and night for around 3 months. Long story short I was arrested one night and thrown in the drunk tank. Began hallucinating, having repeated, near constant deja vu and had such bad tremors that I was taken to hospital then a detox facility. Returned to the UK and stayed sober for months until a recent relatively "short" relapse of 2 weeks. Found that when I stopped I was in exactly the same spot as I was back in Canada. There is no reset button.
Yeah that's a good example of how it kind of telescopes and compounds.
Deja vu, huh? That's really interesting, how long did that last?
@@_BatCountry Deja vu would be the best way I could describe it, but I guess it's not entirely accurate. Almost felt like my mind was a skipping cd player. During this most recent withdrawal I was trying to wean myself off slowly as per NHS advice. But when you've been that paralytic it's hard to know where your starting point is and I guess I got mine wrong. Not to mention weaning yourself off a litre plus of spirits would leave you unable to work/drive for a considerable period. "Fortunately" I had been vomiting blood so they were able to admit me to the ward and was given Librium and banana bags at regular intervals over a few days. But as you say I almost think back on the week, aswell as the Vancouver detox with a sense of fondness. Which is absurd. I just felt a sense of comfort knowing I was being taken care of. Bizarre
Omg this is so relatable and makes so much sense thank you ❤ im 7 and a half years sober and still to this day i dont know how i done it. After many years of drinking detoxes
waking up with my heart pounding out of my chest after drinking ,the price I have to pay for escaping reality isn't worth it anymore
That's a difficult realisation, but an important one. Thanks for the comment, and I hope you're doing good today.
Happens to me all the time
Exactly
Yeah. Nothing like the good old alcoholic panic attack. Been there a lot.
First I've heard of this phenomenon and it describes my experience to a t. I had more than 3 years of sobriety from 2019 to 2022 followed by a string of episodic relapses from late 2022 to today. Even though my binders were often short lived, the severity of my withdraws increased every time and were nothing like what I experienced during my more chronic drinking days years past. This provides all the more reason no to pick up a glass again. Just hit 5 months of sobriety and really want to make it stick this time.
Congrats on your sober time, and on your attitude. Sounds like you recent drinking history is pretty similar to mine. As I've said in more recent videos, once you've crossed that line into withdrawals instead of hangovers, there's no going back to moderation. Ever.
@@_BatCountry Thanks dude! Just discovered this channel and like your style. You also are the spinning image of my current AA sponsor. Would love to see a video on your point of view regarding 12 step programs or what methods have helped you on your sober journey.
Great channel, something beneficial for people that are going through alcoholism. A helping hand indeed!
Thank you!
Another fascinating, honest and revealing account of the vicious reality of alcohol. Many of your videos have given me such clarity into dissecting my own situation that i have found the will to leave alcohol. I can sincerely wish you the very best, and thank you! 😊
Wow Jeff, that is quite the compliment. I really appreciate it, and pleas do keep us updated on your progress.
Personally for me the kindling did die down a bit the longer the periods between relapses/binges went on. But of course thats just for me and no one is the exact same.
Had some crazy WDs and DTs. So glad to be sober and out of that cycle.
If there ever was a 'Catch 22' situation, then it's continuing to drink to avoid the kindling effect. Your honesty is, as always, greatly appreciated and helpful.
I had no idea.
I really wish more people advocate the sort of messages that you have shared and continue to share. Just wow man. 😮
It is no wonder that rehabs don't teach this because relapse for them means a constant stream of money. Wish I had heard of this back in 2018. Bearing in mind it has been studied since 1967. We need this kind of intellectual information that comes from a none profit source. Amen 🙏 🙏 🎉
Just as the police would be extinct if they eliminated crime, so would rehabs if we eliminated addiction.
This is fascinating. Thank you.
Your videos are amazing. I am no where near these levels of drinking but I have learnt so much. Thank you ❤
That's exactly what they're for. Thanks for watching, and for the comment!
Very informative. I’d never heard of the “kindling effect” before.
I do know that the withdrawal effects are horrendous with each successive binge.
I think that age and liver function also play a part.
I had no alcohol for 7 years and for various reasons decided to drink during a social event.
Nothing had really changed. The pattern of drinking was the same as it used to be.
It’s my opinion but I feel that once you have crossed the threshold into abnormal drinking there’s no going back.
Thanks again for a most informative video.
I completely agree, there's a point at which you cross a line and there's no going back to moderation ever again.
I've read a lot about alcoholism but I never heard of the kindling effect and it makes so much sense and explains a lot about my withdrawal experiences as I get older. I've had no alcohol for almost a year and this is something to consider seriously if I have a craving to "celebrate" after one year out of curiosity about how my body will react if I drink again. I've never gone a year without drinking in the last 45 years of my adult life.
Congratulations again on your sobriety! I had a relapse after a couple of years of sobriety and it was immediately as bad as it ever was, my advice is to celebrate your sobriety by staying sober!
This was me everytime. I could go months without a drink, then I would go in a weekend bender, and it was like I never quit drinking at all. Days of insomnia, if I did sleep terrible nightmares, music and voices in my head when I was awake, the sense of impending doom, shakes and sweats. I’m not over a week without a drop and I hope to never have ti experience it again.
Congrats on your sober time, long may it last.
@@_BatCountry Thanks man, still on the wagon, not a drop since I posted this comment, thanks for the shout out and I absolutely love the channel and the content, keep up the sobriety, and keep up the great work!
I can relate. Thankyou for giving me some clarity around my lifelong dilemma. I've been clean now for 18 months, my longest period of complete abstinence in thirty five years of addiction.
I have calmed mentally and physically yet still haven't been able get a decent nigjts sleep.
Functioning as a human being with or without sedation is a struggle. I am finding some acceptance and coming to term with not being alright .
Thank you for sharing this. It has given me a lot of food for thought.😊
Thanks, glad you found something useful in it!
These videos help a lot
Thank you Zeus, I appreciate the comments and I'm glad to know they're helpful.
Much love thank you for your content it's exactly what I needed right now
Thanks John, I hope things are on the up for you.
@@_BatCountry thank you I hope all well with you too! - it's been incredibly hard this time but I have hope and support now. I didn't know about the kindling effect, this video was super helpful and I now understand why its so much more challenging this time than it was the last couple of times I had tried.
You are so brilliant at describing what many of us need to hear. Just... say insidious instead of insipid, which is almost the opposite of insidious.
You're quite right, I don't know why I kept saying that, I did it in another video too
It's so difficult to articulate, perhaps because it simply makes no sense. Going months sober and a creeping desire when there is something I crave about going through the agony of withdrawal for days and getting to the point where I feel the benzodiazpine working and the tremendous relief of finally falling asleep and staying asleep for 12-15 hours; waking up starving for food. It's insane. I think I may understand what you're talking about in that regard.
YES! Exactly that. Why do I miss the psych ward? Why do I crave the agony of withdrawal? That is a very scary compulsion.
Used to crave going into a binge then to detox to pop pills and flirt with the girls and nurses. Sick minded
I have the same feeling missing being high on Ativan in the psych ward
I'm not a binge drinker,yet I'm an almost daily drinker of 1-3 drinks.just Unable to drink alot. I've gone between 3 days to 4 months without a drop, although I've had some times where I drank up to 10 drinks and I'm sure more at times,felt so bad from this I haven't drank that much since because I fear the consequences you've mentioned in your videos and that's been extremely helpful.thank you for making these videos.I began drinking at 40, which I feel so stupid for doing because my whole life I never drank,I always strongly disliked alcohol.I still do.why in the world I still drink? No idea.I want to stop so badly and today is the first day of the rest of my life and I'm going to see how long I can go without a drink.another day 1.
This is incredible!
Thank you so much Anna, that's very kind!
Actually your video helped me alot and I had NO idea about the Kindling effect. I understand your concern about possible giving the wrong advice (do not sober up) but no. In my case I quit drinking alcohol after years of drinking. I'm around day 10 and I suffered alcohol withdrawal symptoms (hence why I was looking for info and found your video). In my mind I was kinda thinking "Hey, I will not drink for months, in that time my liver recovered enough to enjoy some binge drinking a couple of times per year" but your video and advice taught me how terrible that idea was. Now my idea is "I suffered withdrawal symptoms and had a bad time these days, if I go back drinking I will have an even worse time when I quit it again (And keep drinking is off the table, I want to be healthy and not destroying my liver)
Just giving you my thanks by telling you how your advice helped me.
love your videos, thank you
Thank you mate, stay tuned for more. This is a bottomless well of interesting stuff to talk about.
Beeing sober for a very Long Time now, i can 100% relate to your Experiences.
Beeing very Open with my addiction, I am sometimes Approached By Friends and colleagues who ask for Support and help on own or loved one‘s situations.
You have a trustability, that allows me to forward your Videos to These people because you have words for things I am Not able to find or able to convey.
Thank you!!!
The kindling is what keeps me sober. It made it very objective to me that I will never be able to drink again. If I drink I become physically dependent extremely quickly, and if I stop then I have withdrawals that get worse every time. Have had a number of seizures.
Not to mention all of the other problems that alcohol brings.
Me too. It's never going to be beter for me, it's only going to get worse, forever.
Same
Omg. I have experienced this more every time I've cold turkey detoxed on my own !! Didn't know what it was called? My drinking patterns are like yours.
I am currently on new approximately 8 days in of zero alcohol. 😶🌫️😔
Epic video. So spot on!
Mowing the lawn drunk, you are describing my day and night for the last 8 days
Having it explained like this gives me a new fascination for what's going on in my brain. Had many relapses & more recently some dangerous withdrawals, headng the same way as my dad who descended into insanity & eventually died from head injury as a result of his drinking. That is a very real possibility for me if I don't get on top of this problem now.
Hey! Thanks for the comment and we're all rooting for you
How are you so coherent and intelligent after this sort of alcohol use?
Imagine what I COULD have been like.
Everything you saying I had the same thing happen to the T been sober every sense
Thanks dutch, and congrats on your sobriety!
Wow that was incredibly powerful and insightful. I have never heard of kindling, and it makes perfect sense to me. Alcohol withdrawal as we all know is hell on earth, and doctors in the uk, wont help you. And they have gotten worse over the years, with less Alcohol intake. Im sure that i am not alone, in procrastinating the efforts to stop, as we all know what is coming. I have experienced 2 seizures - the first time i didnt know what was happening, and the second time, i thought that this was it. I had an hallucination years ago,( containing wild animals in my bedroom, which i have learned is quite common), but i didnt realise that it had a name. I have come to the conclusion that i wouldnt survive another one, and i am determined to live.
Like yourself i am a binge drinker and can go months without a drink, and then bang- say goodbye to the outside world for a month.
Thank you for your educational video's and explaining the science. You are very good at what u are doing, and i need to continue watching you!!!!
I can't help but feel angry about how poorly my detoxes were managed by medical professionals. They were completely oblivious to the sheer panic and terror these episodes involved. They would literally give me the bare minimum of Valium. It was excruciating. I am glad to hear they are now treating this aggressively. It's astonishing how inept the medical establishment still is when it comes to alcoholism. Often seems like all they've done in 80 years is create a few more labels to conceal their lack of understanding
I'm sorry you went through that, and happy you're here to talk about it.
@@_BatCountry Coming up to 4 years sober in august. I related to your story big time. I too went from a good job and relatively together life to drinking a bottle of vodka a day and being homeless in very short succession. Nothing else mattered but the spirits. I run meetings in a bunch of different detox's and rehabs these days. I couldn't stay stopped until I went full tilt into the 12th step work. Thank you for your videos
I've had the same experience several times in the past 5 years, I'm surprised I'm still alive.
Yeah in retrospect I probably would have done things differently. But maybe then the miserable memory of doing inpatient detox wouldn't be as much of a deterrent.
@@D-Fens_1632 None of my terrible experiences were ever a sufficient deterrent when I needed them to be. They usually worked for a few months or maybe longer but often when it was absolutely crucial that I didn't pick up a drink I would. Despite everything I went through I would do it again with full knowledge of ALL the potential consequences. This is the literal insanity of alcoholism.
It was very rare for me to actually feel confident that i could ever get sober. It always felt like i was just waiting for the other shoe to drop and id be back at it, or just give in so i didn't have the thoughts hanging over me. As soon as i did get the feeling of being confident i could quit, i ran with it and have not looked back to see if theres anything worth going back for. There isn't. Not even on my worst days do i think about it. Its not what i do, or who i am anymore.
hi Stu, I'm new here,
is the name Bat Country from the DT experience u once involving a bat?
if so i think that's pretty cool!
kinda like movie, no country for old men, when ur in bat country..
we ain't in Kansas anymore Toto!
Yes it is! You're the first person to notice.
I have an image seared into my minds eye from one of many pre-DT experiences,
there was a kind of human looking baby, only with the face & head of an opossum!
& get this,(as if that isn't freaky enough!)
it was smile-snearing at me with a lit cigarette hanging from its lip!
& even at the time I was impressed with the savagery of the detail,
also, on one episode that did go full blown DT,
the sick soundtrack leading up to it was the tune:
"Row Row Row your Boat.."
ON REPEAT, & if I mentally tried to turn it off or turn it down, it would pick up the tempo, increase volume, & ratchet up the tone, ALL in the most menacing of voices!
it's like the Hindu idea of Akashic records, only with DTs, it's as if the mother of all horror story themes has complete access to the collective unconscious of all things hellish & terrifying!
@@_BatCountry I thought it was from fear and loathing ...
Hi, thanks for your videos. After detox for daily heavy consumption, If a relapse is in the form of 1-2 days drinking then stop, would this be a hangover or kindling? Thanks
Hey Allen. Kindling isn't only restricted to alcohol, in fact a lot neurochemical phenomena are affected. For example, cycles of withdrawal from antidepressants can also have a kindling effect. Hangovers too. You're probably aware that people believe that hangovers get worse with age, right? Well, it's not age as much as it is the kindling effect. I would say that even a short relapse is made worse by kindling, so it might only be a hangover, but it's a kindled hangover.
Thank you for your swift response, truly. Rob…
Helpful, thank you.
Can you share your relapse experience? What’s your subjective experience just prior to relapse? Despite experiencing DTs, described them in your other videos as some of the worst experiences you’ve ever had, you go back to the bottle. I know that’s the insanity of addiction - but maybe share your own experience on this, if you can? And what strategies do you now have for avoiding relapse?
That's a really good question Adrian, and I'm not sure I have a good answer prepared. I think I'll make this the subject of my next video. But just so I've given you some kind of answer: I have coping strategies like being aware when I'm feeling 'unsober' and avoiding social events in which I might be tempted to drink. Going to the gym instead of going to an event. My girlfriend is also a sober person and she's incredibly helpful. Yeah, I'm going to try to answer this question better in the next video. I really appreciate the question, thanks.
This is the reason I can not drink. I was bing drinking and was withdrawing several times each month. The last time I withdrew from alcohol was frightening. The anxiety and panic attacks was excruciating.I belive I was so close to going into delirium but went for help and was prescribed Zanx which help. The experience was enough for me to stop for good.
Eventually, I got to the point where every time I fell off the wagon, after about two weeks, I couldn't get another drop of booze in, and it would puke out faster than it went down, then withdrawal, DTs, and hospital every time. The kindling effect may be Satan ordering you not to quit, maybe? I really don't know. But, luckily, my body took over and outright refused to take any more! That's what saved me. November 10th will be one year of honest, no slip-ups of not drinking. I avoid the word sober because it has such a depressing vibe, and phonetic. I try to take on small little positive habits when I can, like rejecting depressing words, and many other things. I figure that pennies can eventually add up to millions. I'm still alive, and I'm done being a God damn slave!!
I have this *_really_* bad, I've been through serious withdrawal that got steadily worse as the years went on. No joke, I've been through bad withdrawal well over forty times in twenty years and have had full-blown delirium tremens five times. I know I have brain damage.
As a side note..I like your camera collection there.
Thanks! I love me some old cameras. Do you have any?
@@_BatCountry an old polaroid and a 110 instamstic camera
Instamatic
The 110 took beautiful photos
We took honeymoon photos with the 110
But I'm really here to figure out ..how to stop drinking
Insightful. Frightening. I never want another drop, but i know how meased up i am. I DONT WANT TO DRINK
I will not drink with you today, brother.
Jeez, hard dis on Halifax, Nova Scotia, where I am from - there are several research universities here, so the kindling discovery is not unexpected, actually. Didn’t know about R. Williams’s last gulp being there, but folks can slip up anywhere (Anthony Bourdain in France, etc.).
Actually, R. Williams relapsed in Winnipeg, Manitoba
Interesting. I am addicted. I also grew up with a form of epilepsy and behavior disorders, but never had a "seizure". I was on dilantin then tegretol. Eventually at 16 my doc took me off it because basically I stopped taking the pills and my grades were ok.
Not sure if this will help anyone, but I’m also an opiate addict. Pain pills. I was once on a methadone program for 5 years at a very young age. I got off and struggled with alcohol for many years until I got into recovery, which I’d have months and months of sobriety always followed by hard binging relapses that kicked the shit out of me. I finally decided to get back on a methadone clinic which totally helped with anxiety and all cravings. I no longer drink or do illegal drugs or pills, just take my methadone. It’s really working well for me and I suffered for so many years without it while drinking. F*ck drinking and using. I’ll take the softer, easier way on clinic. 🙏
I think that real danger of alcohol is from its immediate effect on hormones, starting with insulin which spikes up immediately- creating insulin resistance, and ending with testosterone which drops to the level of 80 y/o granny.
Even after having few drinks, it takes days of abstinence for hormones to get at normal levels. Meanwhile we are on our own.
Wish i had a chance for hospital
That German psyche ward sounds like nightmare fuel..i cant even begin to imagine experiencing it while detoxing
What about allen car
How long have you been sober for?
Do you smoke cigarettes? I think it is rare to find a alcoholic that doesn't smoke.
I vape. I smoked a bit in my teens and early twenties but switched to vaping really early, when that whole thing was just starting out. So yeah, to your point, I think most of us smoke or vape or something similar.
@@_BatCountry I have a hypothesis that nicotine might prime the brain for addiction.
There's a link between alcohol and smoking. When I drink I crave cigarettes but I hardly ever smoke when sober. Seems like the effects are most enjoyable in combination like with a lot of drugs where users seek combinations to enhance effects
12:23 I dont want to quit now. Sounds like the worst horror film in real life.
That is a joke but thanks for being honest.
What do you think about taking edible gummy thc or cbd or even smoking it to get to sobriety?
I had forgotten what real energy felt like, yeah, it’s been over 2 years and I don’t crave the stuff anymore, surprisingly I didn’t suffer withdrawal and that was key, not even within the first days after go’ogling Steffon Barkload’s latest and quitting because I wanted to with no pressure or anything.
I relapsed this week
Very articulated and indeed one good video.
Thank you Romanov!
Amino acids are said to be good for helping your brain get more stable.
You have 1930's music playing.....
Simultaneously provides both comfort and creepiness to the rather unsettling content presented in these videos. I struggle to imagine anything else that would feel as fitting, oddly enough
Sounds amazingly similar to heroin withdrawel.
Wow. Totally agree with this. I'm almost 2 years out from my hospitalization and it was horrifying. With the help of my Higher Power and others in my recovery groups I have remained sober, but the pleasant thought of a drink does, to this day, haunt me.
Sounds like CTE in a way. 🏈
What's up with the derogatory Halifax comment?
What did I say about Halifax?
Wow- 😮😮😮…
Erm 😕.. now, what 🤦🏻♀️.
Damn. We’re in a tight spot 😳!
I’ve only withdrawn once cold turkey- after a hospitalization for pancreatitis, a Pancreatectomy & splenectomy back in March ‘24. Recently Jäegermeister has been heavy on my mind, along w some pretty heavy depression. Now I’m learning it’s even more dangerous than I thought.
That “noise” … 😣
Is The kenneling effect known in the US ? If I were to tell a Dr where my heads been lately- what would they do 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🥺?
Good question - I don't know. You should try it. Tell your doctor, and then come back and tell us what happened.
Not strange at all makes crazy sense lol
Why do you use a word "insipid" to describe alcoholism? English is my second language but it seems a strange word to use? Insidious I agree with but insipid: I can't really understand in this context. Could you please elaborate. Thank you
I think I meant to say insidious instead of insipid. Good catch, I didn't notice that mistake.
@@_BatCountry cheers for the reply. Appreciate it. Love your videos and use them to remind myself why I'm not drinking. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.