I've never seen my husband so scared as when I was physically dying until he got me more vodka to drink. It's real and very terrifying. I had to do medically supervised detox the last two times. It is not to be taken lightly. My bed was drenched. I couldn't close my eyes because of hallucinations but I couldn't open them either because of hallucinations. I thought my heart was going to explode. Wish I would have stopped at the hangover stage because the withdrawal stage I got to...very scary. Again, great video! Thank you!
VERY scary. And yeah, I think all of wish we would have stopped sooner, but once you're out the other side it's easy to forget how hard it is in the moment. You should be proud.
Your videos are compelling to me. I am coming out of a horrid period-lost my job, assaulted a family member and arrested. Broke. 2 weeks sober. Keep the vids coming, you are helping.
I just came inside from doing yard work to see a notification from your channel. Very exciting. I haven’t watched it. In fact, I have to go to work and I’m going to wait until I get home at 10pm tonight, at which point I’ll brew some coffee, get out my fancy headphones, make a bonfire in the backyard and sit down to enjoy it. I don’t watch your content casually. I set aside time to give you my full attention and ensure I won’t be interrupted. Your videos resonate so deeply with me that I feel compelled to give you the respect I think you deserve. This topic is one that I think about often, having deep experience with the subject matter. I very much look forward to getting home tonight and digging in!!!!
Wow thank you steve, that meant a lot to me. I hope you enjoy it, it's a relatively short one today, but I have a really good one coming up that I think you'll enjoy. Let me know what you think after you've seen it, and have a great day!
He puts a lot of effort into these videos. It is some of the most articulate and well-produced sobriety content on UA-cam. He's given me a bit of great advice in the production and lighting of my own videos.
What you said about after you go through severe alcohol withdrawal you never go back to normal drinking is 100% true. It’s like you cross this line and once it’s crossed there’s no going back, Pandora’s box has been opened so to speak. The days of hangovers are no more, severe withdrawal, hospital visits, detox’s, jails and possibly even death is what now awaits you. Also you’re not alone with the going to the bathroom thing man! I thought I was going to die at one point because of the same reason lol 😂. Great video like always brother, be easy. 💯
Thanks SlayerI 'm kinda relieved you had the same experience there - like I don't want anyone to experience it, but at least I know it's not just me. And now I've had it confirmed, I can stop talking about it all the time. Hope you're good mate!
Thank you for this enlightening information. I am not an alcoholic but have loved many and was raised in a home with an alcoholic father. I am learning so much from watching your videos and I am grateful. Thank you and God bless!
Yep, that all rings true to me. I liken a hangover to a barking, growling dog on the other side of a fence. It’s annoying, you don’t like it and you wish it weren’t there, but it’s easy enough to ignore it and keep walking. There is no imminent threat. By comparison, heavy duty alcohol withdrawal (the kind we’ve experienced) is like encountering a snarling, extremely hungry and pissed off 1,800 lb. polar bear on the open icy tundra. There is nowhere to run. There is nowhere to hide. It is stronger than you, faster than you, meaner than you and far, far bigger than you. Your heart is pounding out of your chest with fear as it charges toward you. You are alone. You have no chance. There is no escape. Death has found you. I also experienced the sensation of that static filth inside of me like a form of dirty electricity. The kind that isn’t quite right and makes speakers crackle even when the volume is turned all the way down. During my worst periods of withdrawal, it was like I needed somebody to come and degauss me. I don’t know what exactly that feeling was either and I agree that it’s hard to explain - so I’m not sure if what I just said makes sense or not. I appreciate hearing you talk about acute withdrawals, delirium tremens and things like that, and while you make the disclaimer that you aren’t a doctor, maybe it’s because of that why I value your insights. I bet most doctors have never personally experienced the difference between a hangover and alcohol withdrawals. At least I hope they haven’t. They may know what a textbook says, but most reputable doctors would be wholly unqualified to make a video like this one. To make a video like this one, you had to have lived it. You did. I did. Many of us have. The best, and oftentimes most incomprehensible part is that we lived to tell the tale. I look back at the times I spent writhing around on a sweaty mattress in a dark room with a great deal of confusion. Confusion and regret. Massive, almost indescribable regret. I honestly don’t think I could survive quitting alcohol again. I really don’t. If I were a cat, I’m on my 9th life. Vodka got the first 8. I plan on continuing to keep this last one safe from the greedy clutches of alcohol. Thank you for another great video :)
DIRTY ELECTRICITY and feeling like you need to be degaussed! Wow man that's exactly it, you should be talking about this stuff because you're good at it. For what it's worth, I won't survive another string of withdrawals either. I've been running for too long, my body's exhausted, and that polar bear smells my blood. The most recent one I had I went missing from home for 8 hours and when I returned my clothes had been cut open and EKG sensors attached. I had been a medical emergency and have absolutely no memory of it. Dangerous.
@@_BatCountry yeah man, it’s scary. You know how the word “Ambulance” is spelled backwards on the front of an ambulance so that you can read it in your rear view mirror as it approaches? I have “5 days” tattooed on my chest backward for the same reason - I can read it clearly every day when I step out of the shower and look in the bathroom mirror. The tattoo is not artistic at all, rather it’s intentionally inked in bold block letters. It stands out, can’t miss it. I did this so I never give myself a chance to conveniently forget that I lost 5 days in a vodka fueled stupor. I don’t know what happened, who I talked to, what my neighbors saw, what my behavior was, etc. I ended up in a hospital with no memory of the past five days. I still wonder what happened during those five days, but I’ll never get a good answer. It’s terrifying and frustrating. That was only one episode of many, but it haunts me. Ugh.
Just went through 5 days of hellish nightmare withdrawals. It was so horrific and I was positive I was going to die. I will never go through that again.
Helps to journal / document own withdrawal - if possible. If unable to write - record yourself. Every time I get cravings, I flick back to those pages to remind myself of withdrawal horrors, the images I "saw", the shakes, sleepless nights and horrid hot / cold sweats. Not remembering. Being scared. Palpitations.
Every time I drink (I drink heavily), I wake up with severe anxiety and it leads to insomnia and being unable to sleep off my hangover. I am essentially in withdrawal after every time I drink. I think that’s due to the kindling effect and having abused alcohol for over a decade. It’s a nightmare. I choose to not drink today and hopefully forever.
@@_BatCountry Yes. I would typically just continue drinking because I couldn’t deal with the anxiety. I’ve had to detox myself many times and if it weren’t for benzos I’d have been in detox facilities a lot more than what I have been. Alcohol just doesn’t work for me anymore. Glad to see you’re doing well! Thanks for putting your story out there!
Try to get mirtazapine from your GP/physician. Just tell them you're struggling with depression and insomnia and they'll likely prescribe it because it treats both. I take it for depression and I've noticed that if I do relapse back into my old drinking behaviour, it almost entirely eliminates the anxiety aspect of a hangover/withdrawal. All of the physical symptoms are still there, but I at least do not feel like I'm going insane. It even allows me to get some sleep whereas I would normally be completely unable after drinking heavily. It is very helpful. It is nothing like a benzo and is not known to be addictive. I have been taking it for over a year and have taken breaks from it at times and never felt a craving or a need for it.
Your description of the weird static tingling sensation throughout your body was exactly how i would describe how i feel well into withdrawal. I also get an increase in tinnitus in my ears, especially my right ear where it's as if I can hear a low rumble. After I come through withdrawal everything seems to get back to normal. Did you know that Campral (Acamprosate) which I take religiously 2 tablets 3 times a day is also used to treat tinnitus! I thought that was an interesting fact to add to the discussion. It's my one month anniversary tomorrow of sobriety, long may it continue. Thanks again for your videos. They're really helping me to stay sober. Take care.
Ah I'm glad you mentioned that, it felt a bit weird listening to myself say it when I was editing, I didn't think I did a good enough job of explaining it, but if you got the sense of it, that's good enough for me. And no, I did not know that about Campral. I was on it for ages. Learn something new every day.
Man, your comparison of hangover v withdrawal being like jet lag v muscle atrophy on the ISS was pure genius. You're right about withdrawal though - we experience trauma every single time. For me it was every Sunday and I remember calling it my 'hate meditation' because I would constantly have to battle these horrible thoughts in my head, fight against the sense of doom and anxiety. I liken it to Darth Vader meditating with the dark side to increase his powers, that's what I was doing every Sunday but trying to fight the dark side. I only just clicked watching this video that I definitely have been traumatised by that psychological state where I was convinced I was going to die...my heart was racing, I couldn't stop shaking, I was sweating. We made it through man, we're survivors.
Must report a 10 day binge, followed by a 3-4 day withdrawal period. Feel relatively OKish today but there is a cost to these repeated relapses in terms of both short term and long term damage which I accept. Keep up the great work Stuart as your pathos and humility really comes across in your videos.
Another great video bat country! I almost pee myself when you said im going to go because of lack of 💩. All jokes aside this was extremely helpful. I’m fortunate to never have experienced withdrawal. I have felt very shaky after a night of heavy drinking. I may have dodged it because I have always managed to keep the drinking to a few consecutive 4 out of 7 days usually not more than a pint of vodka or whiskey and few beers or liter of wine or so. It’s lot of alcohol for a woman based on medical advice and I’m a fast drinker. I have always made sure I didn’t drink on an empty stomach. But waking up the next day completely dehydrated, migraines, stomach issues, and just full of anxiety and these days disappointed of giving in when I made a decision to stop. I almost made it through this holiday weekend (US) without giving in. 5 days sober. Not a lot at all but hey we have to start somewhere. I’ve been down this road from the start of my journey in January so many times just want it to stick. Anyways, I’m glad you made it thru the other side and are here to share your story. Take care.
We all want it to stick for you Micru. Keep plugging away, it will stick in time, and you'll love it. 5 days IS a lot. That's thousands of times you've said no to a craving. Just keep on saying no.
Oh man. I know the feeling. I have been to alcoholic detox 3 times in emergency hospitalisation. I had delirium tremins. Thankfully I didn’t seizure. After 5 days my god I felt like a god. Never again.
Great content buddy. I was taken a-back with your stories from Kazakhstan - I think people do really need to hear that, the world is a rough place and we have it sweet here in the "western side". I was similar to yourself and I am off alcohol for about a year and a half. Sometimes come back to remind myself of the horrors I suffered - it keeps me at distance with even the thought of being back to AUD. Guys just one message from me - do whatever it takes to come off it, please do not give up, fight it and once you over the line you will see it's not that hard and scary. Appreciate your bravery and the content you deliver @batcountry
Your description right at the end is so fitting. The feeling of static electricity inside your body is exactly what I experienced. I remember when I first experienced it I thought that I irreversibly damaged my CNS, like I damaged my brain or spine by drinking too much. I know exactly what you're talking about! And then I started googling symptoms of withdrawal and things like that, and that made the anxiety even worse. I hadn't really slept in a long time and everytime I didn't move, it felt like my body was going numb, like I was falling into sleep paralysis while awake. That's how I'd explain it afterwards at least. As soon as I felt the numbing, I used to get a horrible panic attack and thought I was dying. It sometimes even happened while I was sitting down, my whole body going numb when I didn't move. I was scared to go to sleep because of that. When I finally blacked out I had these vivid nightmares, sometimes I would wake up and still be in another nightmare inside a nightmare. That was a REN Rebound as far as I understand it. It was pretty wicked. And at some point I was never able to drink enough for the withdrawal symptoms to stop. Love your videos! Keep them coming! You're so good at storytelling, I especially love your hallucination/delusion content. Did you have these nightmares as well? Maybe that's a topic for another video!
Oh wow I know exactly what you mean with the numbness - I had that too, feeling like my body had just kind of stopped any time I wasn't moving. I had it worst in a detox clinic where it made me paranoid that my heart would stop if I didn't move, and I couldn't so much as sit still for a whole day, just pacing around terrified. Ugh god why do we do this to ourselves. I like talking about those delusions too, I plan to do more of that stuff when I'm able because it's the most interesting part of it for me. Thanks for the comments mae, always good to see you here.
The anxiety is absolutely crippling. I can totally relate to that. And 'Leaving Las Vegas' is a brilliant example of what real withdrawal is like. Once again, thanks for the video!😊
The all encompassing feeling of "im going to die. This is it. Im not going to make it this time" seems to be almost universal among heavy drinkers who have experienced withdrawal. I feel like this is your brain going into panic mode and demanding that you seek immediate help because all of your bodies systems are going into overdrive to cope with the assault from the alcohol. Even your subconscious brain itself thinks that it is dying, so it is sending you into a panic. Of course, sometimes it is right. But thankfully withdrawal is rather unlikely to be fatal in the majority of cases.
Once again I related to much of this, especially that I might die from the consequences of my alcohol withdrawal, I was obsessed with every symptom which made it 100x worse. On the static electricity, I had something similar, my insides would literally vibrate whenever I was still and it persisted for quite a while after detox. I believe it's related to Thiamine / b12 deficiency. It was horrible, made sleep very difficult! Anyway thanks, really finding your videos helpful in my recovery.
29 you're sober. Sweats have just started. Got drunk Sunday and had a bad fall. Anxiety earlier was awful. I know what you mean though. This I have contacted GP and a counseller. And told all my close friends and relatives. All of which have been very supportive.
"Morally, ethically, I should be dead." Lol that's a heavy load to walk around with, Bat Country. Hopefully helping people with these videos, as you do, will start to balance to those scales. I quit heroin in my 20's, and while that was uniquely unpleasant, the withdrawal didn't leave half the impression on me alcohol withdrawal did. It feels like an electric current, as you said, but to expand on that it feels like the strength of the current is prone to wild fluctuations; you'll be sitting there suffering mildly, silently, and then just get blasted with a feeling so incredibly uncomfortable and intense that it takes your breath away. There's a sense of impending doom akin to sitting in the electric chair and looking over at the Warden, who's a real dick.
@_BatCountry it is certainly an important point..I was drinking to numb physical and mental trauma..maybe from the army..I'm not sure..but then the drink became the trauma..a strange dichotomy..my best friend..and yet my worst enemy..a common story with drinkers.
“A hangover would be like a birthday party compared to withdrawal.” Sounds about right. I had what could only be described as tactile and auditory hallucinations whilst in the grips of it and also when trying to taper off via supervision. A persistent invisible insect burrowing around my scalp taunting me, static and the switching of random radio stations playing when I closed my eyes. Need to be reminded of that living hell. That’s no longer the realm of the hangover, Ms conviviality had left the birthday party a long time before the insects arrived. Thanks for another top vid!
In my hangover video I neglected to mention that it is a mild form of withdrawal. But full blown withdrawal feels nothing like a hangover unless I had withdrawal with a a headache. Like I have said, I only had one bad cold turkey unmedicated withdrawal. "Unshit yourself to death." haha. Great video as usual.
Such high quality content, Bat! You are immensely talented for a brain damaged alcoholic lol. Thank you for your work. That scene with Nick Cage trying to sign his name... Man I have been there. I had to sign for a package and all I could do was scribble a marking. You lose all motor skill and barely even make general motions to control your body. I had to slowly scoot down stairs on my butt. Walking in general is so difficult. And writhing around in bed with full body restless leg syndrome. My girlfriend had to feed me chicken broth and water with a turkey baster in tiny amounts at a time because I couldnt even sip out of a cup. I had to pee in the bath tub because I couldn't aim at the toilet. The fear about not pooping for many days also when that happened to me I figured my body was just shutting down in preparation for death but really it was that I hadnt actually eaten enough food to make a poop in weeks. 95% of my calories was just booze for a couple months probably and you cant eat during AWS anyway. I dont think I have experienced the "internal crackling static" you mentioned but I had a sensation like "the insides of my body were all trying to get out" and feeling like electric current flowing through my bones like an "itchy buzzing" but mostly in my limbs. CNS was certainly not pleased to say the least. Yes the trauma of acute withdrawal is no joke but at the same time when its over knowing my body and I overcame such a dire self inflicted ordeal kind of helps me face normal challenges sometimes. I have never had it last two damn weeks though that is bloody hardcore brother.
I’ve been through withdrawal so many times, and the only time I’ve ended up in the hospital was when the bender consisted of drinking literally every waking moment, from when I woke up to when I passed out at night. The benders where I was able to wait a few hours to start drinking, maybe even just until 1 or 2 in the afternoon, so my BAC could get back close to zero, those led to less severe withdrawal, so that really does make a difference but yes, kindling is real.
Thank you for these videos. I went on a severe 5 or so day bender last year and then quit cold turkey. At the time, i worked hospitality night shift Friday, sat, sun, so I was able to get away from this for awhile. I did not realize that I had DTs or AWS. But I had hallucinations, saw clown and shadow people in my apartment, was awake for 3 or so days straight, my RHR in bed was over 120. I couldn’t sleep, eat, or function at all. It was terrible. I realize now that I definitely could have died. For reference, I am a 78 pound female that also has anorexia. So when I relapse, imagine not eating, drinking, or functioning as usual. All goes out of the window
Oof, I can absolutely see how those stats you shared might impact the severity of your withdrawals. I dread to think. I'm a strapping 6-footer and they damn near killed me. How you doing these days? Are you out the other side yet?
Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) is the period Bat Country was referring to when he mentioned the months long depression episode occuring after acute withdrawal. It can even last years and easily derail you to a relapse watch out for that one. Brain fog, mood swings, anhedonia, innability to concentrate or learn new things to name a few of the symptoms I have experienced whilst enduring that one.
Even though I drink to excess and always have. I don't think I've ever experienced withdrawal. Some brutal hangovers, sure. And sometimes I drink to get rid of the hangover. But thank god, I've always managed to step back from the brink of taking it too far. I did once come a cropper after abusing benzodiazepines for a while though which I believe is similar. Everyone said not to mess with those things. I had an easy source and I was eating them every day for a few weeks. My god, when they ran out. The horror... the horror...
Was of it nearly 90 days hit it for two lo days but went training sweated like crazy for the 85. Days I was training and I fealt great physically so strait of it again this morning, the last bender was 3 months before that for 5 days so 2 days drinking is not as bad as the last one,
do you think that being close to the same can make you think it can become indifferent to the common sitution .. close comfort can be far from a friend.. just thoughts. ..
Is constipation during withdrawal really a thing? I don't doubt your experience but I only ever heard of the opposite - and it seems logical that an overactive nervous system would also lead to more bowel movements, not less.
Last time I was in detox i picked up a norovirus, i had diarrhoea and constipation at the same time. Ugh that was one of the worst days of my whole life.
@@_BatCountry btw the 'old timey' music in the background your videos are almost exactly like auditory hallucinations I've had (not from alcohol tho, but yes another GABA drug). At that time I could also watch a movie with the sound muted and still 'hear' a movie score..usually the classical cello/oboe kind. I knew why I experienced that so it wasn't scary, quite fascinating really.
@@alnicospeaker Yeah that's why I use it, it sounds exactly like my auditory hallucinations too. In the video I did about delirium tremens I actually slowed the music down by about 20% because that's how I experience it in delirium. Thanks for noticing!
Alcohol withdrawal symptoms are the perfect combo to make you think you are going to die, you are dehydrated because of the alcohol, then you drink but you puke everything out, you sweat alot and get more dehydrated then you try to drink water and puke and sip another water and puke. You then cannot eat cause your throat is fucked from the puking now your are dehydrated and starving. now you lie in bed an get spasms and sweat more and get more weak and then you try to drink water........you know you body is getting weaker + your irrational paranoia doubles this thought and make you double more miserable. and yeah you cant poop you also think that some bowels with just erupt and end your life.
When you've gone to A&E and done 35 inpatient detoxs since April 2020 and on my last one explained what the kindling effect is to the alcohol nurse, whos job it is to know? And the benzo regime not implemented by nurses who don't speak English so your life is in danger and also when they think ye asking for extra librium/oxazepam, to get a benzo buzz, whilst there's 4 fellars in the same room shitting they're kecks and your going thru this as a young man and they're all 80 odd shouting for their mothers and then you do it again and then again ad hominim- thats when ye know its time to realise ive gotta change me circle of friends- listen to Mongolian chanting, buy a didgeridoo and hope to become enlightened on a mountain one day far far away from the failed NHS rip
Considering how much alcoholism there is in the UK, and how normalised alcohol is, it blows my mind that the treatment is so bad. Hope you're doing better today mate
Having a regular hangover really is a "Birthday Party" compared to withdrawal. I laughed out loud one that one. Many days I have woken up after a day and night of heavy drinking and the first thing on my mind would be, "Do I have anything more to drink, and if so how much?" I would gauge my situation and act accordingly. The reason being was how "stable" I would be able to make myself so I could figure out if I was walking up to the store to buy more, or if I didn't have enough to get through the first couple hours of the day I would have to order it for delivery. When I did have to get delivery it would only take an hour or two tops for it to arrive, but I remember pacing around my room, looking at the clock every few minutes, looking out the window to see if they were here and I missed the knock at the door, running to the bathroom to put cold water on my face and neck, sipping water and pretending it was Vodka, ANYTHING to keep my mind out of that moment. Some days were so bad my heart would be pounding, a great feeling of panic and terror as I knew I had to wait however long to get my alcohol. Then to hear the knock at the door and say to myself, "THANK GOD, FINALLY." Try and keep it together for the interaction at the door, run to my room and quickly down as much alcohol as I can to get back to baseline of actually feeling normal again. Such a vicious cycle. Only to start it all again the next day. Horrible way to live. Thanks for the video as always.
Been there, but I had to wait until 9 to get to the liquor store. The anxiety and the pounding in my chest waiting to get to the liquor store is not something I'll forget anytime soon. Now, I'm just grateful I don't have to live that way anymore, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I've never seen my husband so scared as when I was physically dying until he got me more vodka to drink. It's real and very terrifying. I had to do medically supervised detox the last two times. It is not to be taken lightly. My bed was drenched. I couldn't close my eyes because of hallucinations but I couldn't open them either because of hallucinations. I thought my heart was going to explode.
Wish I would have stopped at the hangover stage because the withdrawal stage I got to...very scary.
Again, great video!
Thank you!
VERY scary. And yeah, I think all of wish we would have stopped sooner, but once you're out the other side it's easy to forget how hard it is in the moment. You should be proud.
Your videos are compelling to me. I am coming out of a horrid period-lost my job, assaulted a family member and arrested. Broke. 2 weeks sober. Keep the vids coming, you are helping.
I just came inside from doing yard work to see a notification from your channel. Very exciting. I haven’t watched it. In fact, I have to go to work and I’m going to wait until I get home at 10pm tonight, at which point I’ll brew some coffee, get out my fancy headphones, make a bonfire in the backyard and sit down to enjoy it.
I don’t watch your content casually. I set aside time to give you my full attention and ensure I won’t be interrupted. Your videos resonate so deeply with me that I feel compelled to give you the respect I think you deserve.
This topic is one that I think about often, having deep experience with the subject matter. I very much look forward to getting home tonight and digging in!!!!
Wow thank you steve, that meant a lot to me. I hope you enjoy it, it's a relatively short one today, but I have a really good one coming up that I think you'll enjoy. Let me know what you think after you've seen it, and have a great day!
He puts a lot of effort into these videos. It is some of the most articulate and well-produced sobriety content on UA-cam. He's given me a bit of great advice in the production and lighting of my own videos.
What you said about after you go through severe alcohol withdrawal you never go back to normal drinking is 100% true. It’s like you cross this line and once it’s crossed there’s no going back, Pandora’s box has been opened so to speak. The days of hangovers are no more, severe withdrawal, hospital visits, detox’s, jails and possibly even death is what now awaits you.
Also you’re not alone with the going to the bathroom thing man! I thought I was going to die at one point because of the same reason lol 😂.
Great video like always brother, be easy. 💯
Thanks SlayerI 'm kinda relieved you had the same experience there - like I don't want anyone to experience it, but at least I know it's not just me. And now I've had it confirmed, I can stop talking about it all the time.
Hope you're good mate!
I use the Sinclair method and have gone back to being my pre-alcohol self.
As my old AA sponsor used to tell me, once a pickle never again a cucumber. I am a full pickle now.
@@director2bob absolutely man, absolutely haha.
Thank you for this enlightening information. I am not an alcoholic but have loved many and was raised in a home with an alcoholic father. I am learning so much from watching your videos and I am grateful. Thank you and God bless!
Thank you for watching and for the comment, I'm glad it connected with you.
Yep, that all rings true to me.
I liken a hangover to a barking, growling dog on the other side of a fence. It’s annoying, you don’t like it and you wish it weren’t there, but it’s easy enough to ignore it and keep walking. There is no imminent threat.
By comparison, heavy duty alcohol withdrawal (the kind we’ve experienced) is like encountering a snarling, extremely hungry and pissed off 1,800 lb. polar bear on the open icy tundra. There is nowhere to run. There is nowhere to hide. It is stronger than you, faster than you, meaner than you and far, far bigger than you. Your heart is pounding out of your chest with fear as it charges toward you. You are alone. You have no chance. There is no escape. Death has found you.
I also experienced the sensation of that static filth inside of me like a form of dirty electricity. The kind that isn’t quite right and makes speakers crackle even when the volume is turned all the way down. During my worst periods of withdrawal, it was like I needed somebody to come and degauss me. I don’t know what exactly that feeling was either and I agree that it’s hard to explain - so I’m not sure if what I just said makes sense or not.
I appreciate hearing you talk about acute withdrawals, delirium tremens and things like that, and while you make the disclaimer that you aren’t a doctor, maybe it’s because of that why I value your insights. I bet most doctors have never personally experienced the difference between a hangover and alcohol withdrawals. At least I hope they haven’t. They may know what a textbook says, but most reputable doctors would be wholly unqualified to make a video like this one.
To make a video like this one, you had to have lived it. You did. I did. Many of us have. The best, and oftentimes most incomprehensible part is that we lived to tell the tale.
I look back at the times I spent writhing around on a sweaty mattress in a dark room with a great deal of confusion. Confusion and regret. Massive, almost indescribable regret.
I honestly don’t think I could survive quitting alcohol again. I really don’t. If I were a cat, I’m on my 9th life. Vodka got the first 8. I plan on continuing to keep this last one safe from the greedy clutches of alcohol.
Thank you for another great video :)
DIRTY ELECTRICITY and feeling like you need to be degaussed! Wow man that's exactly it, you should be talking about this stuff because you're good at it.
For what it's worth, I won't survive another string of withdrawals either. I've been running for too long, my body's exhausted, and that polar bear smells my blood. The most recent one I had I went missing from home for 8 hours and when I returned my clothes had been cut open and EKG sensors attached. I had been a medical emergency and have absolutely no memory of it. Dangerous.
@@_BatCountry yeah man, it’s scary. You know how the word “Ambulance” is spelled backwards on the front of an ambulance so that you can read it in your rear view mirror as it approaches? I have “5 days” tattooed on my chest backward for the same reason - I can read it clearly every day when I step out of the shower and look in the bathroom mirror. The tattoo is not artistic at all, rather it’s intentionally inked in bold block letters. It stands out, can’t miss it. I did this so I never give myself a chance to conveniently forget that I lost 5 days in a vodka fueled stupor. I don’t know what happened, who I talked to, what my neighbors saw, what my behavior was, etc. I ended up in a hospital with no memory of the past five days. I still wonder what happened during those five days, but I’ll never get a good answer. It’s terrifying and frustrating. That was only one episode of many, but it haunts me. Ugh.
WOW that is powerful.
Just went through 5 days of hellish nightmare withdrawals. It was so horrific and I was positive I was going to die. I will never go through that again.
Remember how it felt. Don't let it fade. Let it motivate you to stay off the drink every day.
Helps to journal / document own withdrawal - if possible. If unable to write - record yourself.
Every time I get cravings, I flick back to those pages to remind myself of withdrawal horrors, the images I "saw", the shakes, sleepless nights and horrid hot / cold sweats. Not remembering. Being scared. Palpitations.
Every time I drink (I drink heavily), I wake up with severe anxiety and it leads to insomnia and being unable to sleep off my hangover. I am essentially in withdrawal after every time I drink. I think that’s due to the kindling effect and having abused alcohol for over a decade. It’s a nightmare. I choose to not drink today and hopefully forever.
Yeah that sounds familiar, it's difficult to escape that tailspin isn't it?
@@_BatCountry Yes. I would typically just continue drinking because I couldn’t deal with the anxiety. I’ve had to detox myself many times and if it weren’t for benzos I’d have been in detox facilities a lot more than what I have been. Alcohol just doesn’t work for me anymore. Glad to see you’re doing well! Thanks for putting your story out there!
Try to get mirtazapine from your GP/physician. Just tell them you're struggling with depression and insomnia and they'll likely prescribe it because it treats both. I take it for depression and I've noticed that if I do relapse back into my old drinking behaviour, it almost entirely eliminates the anxiety aspect of a hangover/withdrawal. All of the physical symptoms are still there, but I at least do not feel like I'm going insane. It even allows me to get some sleep whereas I would normally be completely unable after drinking heavily. It is very helpful. It is nothing like a benzo and is not known to be addictive. I have been taking it for over a year and have taken breaks from it at times and never felt a craving or a need for it.
@@harrybaker9044I don’t drink anymore but thanks for sharing this. Anyone with a sleep disorder could benefit from this. Including me.😊
And the extra Anxiety of the stupid or horrible things you've done,when your least able to cope with it.
Your description of the weird static tingling sensation throughout your body was exactly how i would describe how i feel well into withdrawal. I also get an increase in tinnitus in my ears, especially my right ear where it's as if I can hear a low rumble. After I come through withdrawal everything seems to get back to normal. Did you know that Campral (Acamprosate) which I take religiously 2 tablets 3 times a day is also used to treat tinnitus! I thought that was an interesting fact to add to the discussion. It's my one month anniversary tomorrow of sobriety, long may it continue. Thanks again for your videos. They're really helping me to stay sober. Take care.
Ah I'm glad you mentioned that, it felt a bit weird listening to myself say it when I was editing, I didn't think I did a good enough job of explaining it, but if you got the sense of it, that's good enough for me. And no, I did not know that about Campral. I was on it for ages. Learn something new every day.
I noticed that too, eventually i noticed 1 eye getting weaker
Man, your comparison of hangover v withdrawal being like jet lag v muscle atrophy on the ISS was pure genius. You're right about withdrawal though - we experience trauma every single time. For me it was every Sunday and I remember calling it my 'hate meditation' because I would constantly have to battle these horrible thoughts in my head, fight against the sense of doom and anxiety. I liken it to Darth Vader meditating with the dark side to increase his powers, that's what I was doing every Sunday but trying to fight the dark side. I only just clicked watching this video that I definitely have been traumatised by that psychological state where I was convinced I was going to die...my heart was racing, I couldn't stop shaking, I was sweating. We made it through man, we're survivors.
Must report a 10 day binge, followed by a 3-4 day withdrawal period. Feel relatively OKish today but there is a cost to these repeated relapses in terms of both short term and long term damage which I accept. Keep up the great work Stuart as your pathos and humility really comes across in your videos.
Sorry to hear that buddy but glad you're out the other side and on the mend
Another great video bat country! I almost pee myself when you said im going to go because of lack of 💩. All jokes aside this was extremely helpful. I’m fortunate to never have experienced withdrawal. I have felt very shaky after a night of heavy drinking. I may have dodged it because I have always managed to keep the drinking to a few consecutive 4 out of 7 days usually not more than a pint of vodka or whiskey and few beers or liter of wine or so. It’s lot of alcohol for a woman based on medical advice and I’m a fast drinker. I have always made sure I didn’t drink on an empty stomach. But waking up the next day completely dehydrated, migraines, stomach issues, and just full of anxiety and these days disappointed of giving in when I made a decision to stop. I almost made it through this holiday weekend (US) without giving in. 5 days sober. Not a lot at all but hey we have to start somewhere. I’ve been down this road from the start of my journey in January so many times just want it to stick. Anyways, I’m glad you made it thru the other side and are here to share your story. Take care.
We all want it to stick for you Micru. Keep plugging away, it will stick in time, and you'll love it. 5 days IS a lot. That's thousands of times you've said no to a craving. Just keep on saying no.
@@_BatCountrythank you, I appreciate the support and advice. All we can do is continue to say not today….
Hi Micru. 51f in uk here in the same boat. Im not physically addicted, but I seem to be mentally dependent @@Micru866
Oh man. I know the feeling. I have been to alcoholic detox 3 times in emergency hospitalisation. I had delirium tremins. Thankfully I didn’t seizure. After 5 days my god I felt like a god. Never again.
Great content buddy. I was taken a-back with your stories from Kazakhstan - I think people do really need to hear that, the world is a rough place and we have it sweet here in the "western side". I was similar to yourself and I am off alcohol for about a year and a half. Sometimes come back to remind myself of the horrors I suffered - it keeps me at distance with even the thought of being back to AUD.
Guys just one message from me - do whatever it takes to come off it, please do not give up, fight it and once you over the line you will see it's not that hard and scary. Appreciate your bravery and the content you deliver @batcountry
Your description right at the end is so fitting. The feeling of static electricity inside your body is exactly what I experienced. I remember when I first experienced it I thought that I irreversibly damaged my CNS, like I damaged my brain or spine by drinking too much. I know exactly what you're talking about! And then I started googling symptoms of withdrawal and things like that, and that made the anxiety even worse. I hadn't really slept in a long time and everytime I didn't move, it felt like my body was going numb, like I was falling into sleep paralysis while awake. That's how I'd explain it afterwards at least. As soon as I felt the numbing, I used to get a horrible panic attack and thought I was dying. It sometimes even happened while I was sitting down, my whole body going numb when I didn't move. I was scared to go to sleep because of that. When I finally blacked out I had these vivid nightmares, sometimes I would wake up and still be in another nightmare inside a nightmare. That was a REN Rebound as far as I understand it. It was pretty wicked. And at some point I was never able to drink enough for the withdrawal symptoms to stop. Love your videos! Keep them coming! You're so good at storytelling, I especially love your hallucination/delusion content. Did you have these nightmares as well? Maybe that's a topic for another video!
Oh wow I know exactly what you mean with the numbness - I had that too, feeling like my body had just kind of stopped any time I wasn't moving. I had it worst in a detox clinic where it made me paranoid that my heart would stop if I didn't move, and I couldn't so much as sit still for a whole day, just pacing around terrified. Ugh god why do we do this to ourselves.
I like talking about those delusions too, I plan to do more of that stuff when I'm able because it's the most interesting part of it for me.
Thanks for the comments mae, always good to see you here.
withdrawal: static charge, yes. One word, and your fuse can go off instantly, complete discharge, anger, shouting,. etc.
The anxiety is absolutely crippling. I can totally relate to that. And 'Leaving Las Vegas' is a brilliant example of what real withdrawal is like. Once again, thanks for the video!😊
The all encompassing feeling of "im going to die. This is it. Im not going to make it this time" seems to be almost universal among heavy drinkers who have experienced withdrawal. I feel like this is your brain going into panic mode and demanding that you seek immediate help because all of your bodies systems are going into overdrive to cope with the assault from the alcohol. Even your subconscious brain itself thinks that it is dying, so it is sending you into a panic. Of course, sometimes it is right. But thankfully withdrawal is rather unlikely to be fatal in the majority of cases.
Ayyy ill def check out the video when i get home from work. Take care brother!
Awesome, I appreciate that!
Once again I related to much of this, especially that I might die from the consequences of my alcohol withdrawal, I was obsessed with every symptom which made it 100x worse.
On the static electricity, I had something similar, my insides would literally vibrate whenever I was still and it persisted for quite a while after detox. I believe it's related to Thiamine / b12 deficiency. It was horrible, made sleep very difficult! Anyway thanks, really finding your videos helpful in my recovery.
29 you're sober. Sweats have just started. Got drunk Sunday and had a bad fall. Anxiety earlier was awful. I know what you mean though. This I have contacted GP and a counseller. And told all my close friends and relatives. All of which have been very supportive.
I'm glad you've sought support, keep us posted on your progress.
"Morally, ethically, I should be dead." Lol that's a heavy load to walk around with, Bat Country. Hopefully helping people with these videos, as you do, will start to balance to those scales.
I quit heroin in my 20's, and while that was uniquely unpleasant, the withdrawal didn't leave half the impression on me alcohol withdrawal did. It feels like an electric current, as you said, but to expand on that it feels like the strength of the current is prone to wild fluctuations; you'll be sitting there suffering mildly, silently, and then just get blasted with a feeling so incredibly uncomfortable and intense that it takes your breath away. There's a sense of impending doom akin to sitting in the electric chair and looking over at the Warden, who's a real dick.
I read your book. It was really interesting and funny. Hopefully you write another.
Wow really? Thank you so much! I have a few more books in me yet. So happy you enjoyed it!
The struggle is definitely real! Subscribed after seeing one video. You're helping people, especially me, who are struggling.
Thanks for subscribing mate, and I'm happy to help.
@@_BatCountry thanks man, it feels good to just be acknowledged sometimes.
We often drink because of trauma..but then the drink becomes the trauma..well said
Thanks for spotting that, I think it's an important point
@_BatCountry it is certainly an important point..I was drinking to numb physical and mental trauma..maybe from the army..I'm not sure..but then the drink became the trauma..a strange dichotomy..my best friend..and yet my worst enemy..a common story with drinkers.
Superb 👍
Thanks Pete!
“A hangover would be like a birthday party compared to withdrawal.” Sounds about right. I had what could only be described as tactile and auditory hallucinations whilst in the grips of it and also when trying to taper off via supervision. A persistent invisible insect burrowing around my scalp taunting me, static and the switching of random radio stations playing when I closed my eyes. Need to be reminded of that living hell. That’s no longer the realm of the hangover, Ms conviviality had left the birthday party a long time before the insects arrived. Thanks for another top vid!
In my hangover video I neglected to mention that it is a mild form of withdrawal. But full blown withdrawal feels nothing like a hangover unless I had withdrawal with a a headache. Like I have said, I only had one bad cold turkey unmedicated withdrawal. "Unshit yourself to death." haha. Great video as usual.
Such high quality content, Bat! You are immensely talented for a brain damaged alcoholic lol. Thank you for your work.
That scene with Nick Cage trying to sign his name... Man I have been there. I had to sign for a package and all I could do was scribble a marking. You lose all motor skill and barely even make general motions to control your body. I had to slowly scoot down stairs on my butt. Walking in general is so difficult. And writhing around in bed with full body restless leg syndrome. My girlfriend had to feed me chicken broth and water with a turkey baster in tiny amounts at a time because I couldnt even sip out of a cup. I had to pee in the bath tub because I couldn't aim at the toilet.
The fear about not pooping for many days also when that happened to me I figured my body was just shutting down in preparation for death but really it was that I hadnt actually eaten enough food to make a poop in weeks. 95% of my calories was just booze for a couple months probably and you cant eat during AWS anyway.
I dont think I have experienced the "internal crackling static" you mentioned but I had a sensation like "the insides of my body were all trying to get out" and feeling like electric current flowing through my bones like an "itchy buzzing" but mostly in my limbs. CNS was certainly not pleased to say the least.
Yes the trauma of acute withdrawal is no joke but at the same time when its over knowing my body and I overcame such a dire self inflicted ordeal kind of helps me face normal challenges sometimes. I have never had it last two damn weeks though that is bloody hardcore brother.
I’ve been through withdrawal so many times, and the only time I’ve ended up in the hospital was when the bender consisted of drinking literally every waking moment, from when I woke up to when I passed out at night. The benders where I was able to wait a few hours to start drinking, maybe even just until 1 or 2 in the afternoon, so my BAC could get back close to zero, those led to less severe withdrawal, so that really does make a difference but yes, kindling is real.
Thanks Jonathon, love your music!
Thank you for these videos. I went on a severe 5 or so day bender last year and then quit cold turkey. At the time, i worked hospitality night shift Friday, sat, sun, so I was able to get away from this for awhile. I did not realize that I had DTs or AWS. But I had hallucinations, saw clown and shadow people in my apartment, was awake for 3 or so days straight, my RHR in bed was over 120. I couldn’t sleep, eat, or function at all. It was terrible. I realize now that I definitely could have died.
For reference, I am a 78 pound female that also has anorexia. So when I relapse, imagine not eating, drinking, or functioning as usual. All goes out of the window
Oof, I can absolutely see how those stats you shared might impact the severity of your withdrawals. I dread to think. I'm a strapping 6-footer and they damn near killed me. How you doing these days? Are you out the other side yet?
I used to call it 'The hair of the beast that tore my head off the night before' !
Yep!
Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) is the period Bat Country was referring to when he mentioned the months long depression episode occuring after acute withdrawal. It can even last years and easily derail you to a relapse watch out for that one. Brain fog, mood swings, anhedonia, innability to concentrate or learn new things to name a few of the symptoms I have experienced whilst enduring that one.
Even though I drink to excess and always have. I don't think I've ever experienced withdrawal. Some brutal hangovers, sure. And sometimes I drink to get rid of the hangover. But thank god, I've always managed to step back from the brink of taking it too far. I did once come a cropper after abusing benzodiazepines for a while though which I believe is similar. Everyone said not to mess with those things. I had an easy source and I was eating them every day for a few weeks. My god, when they ran out. The horror... the horror...
Yeah I've heard the withdrawals are similar. So, ya know, don't let it get any worse.
I know DTs are coming when I feel that tingling feeling 😢
Yeah it's scary isn't it?
Was of it nearly 90 days hit it for two lo days but went training sweated like crazy for the 85. Days I was training and I fealt great physically so strait of it again this morning, the last bender was 3 months before that for 5 days so 2 days drinking is not as bad as the last one,
do you think that being close to the same can make you think it can become indifferent to the common sitution .. close comfort can be far from a friend.. just thoughts. ..
Is constipation during withdrawal really a thing? I don't doubt your experience but I only ever heard of the opposite - and it seems logical that an overactive nervous system would also lead to more bowel movements, not less.
Last time I was in detox i picked up a norovirus, i had diarrhoea and constipation at the same time. Ugh that was one of the worst days of my whole life.
@@_BatCountry btw the 'old timey' music in the background your videos are almost exactly like auditory hallucinations I've had (not from alcohol tho, but yes another GABA drug). At that time I could also watch a movie with the sound muted and still 'hear' a movie score..usually the classical cello/oboe kind. I knew why I experienced that so it wasn't scary, quite fascinating really.
@@alnicospeaker Yeah that's why I use it, it sounds exactly like my auditory hallucinations too. In the video I did about delirium tremens I actually slowed the music down by about 20% because that's how I experience it in delirium. Thanks for noticing!
Alcohol withdrawal symptoms are the perfect combo to make you think you are going to die, you are dehydrated because of the alcohol, then you drink but you puke everything out, you sweat alot and get more dehydrated then you try to drink water and puke and sip another water and puke. You then cannot eat cause your throat is fucked from the puking now your are dehydrated and starving. now you lie in bed an get spasms and sweat more and get more weak and then you try to drink water........you know you body is getting weaker + your irrational paranoia doubles this thought and make you double more miserable. and yeah you cant poop you also think that some bowels with just erupt and end your life.
Absolutely one thousand percent accurate of my experiences.
When you've gone to A&E and done 35 inpatient detoxs since April 2020 and on my last one explained what the kindling effect is to the alcohol nurse, whos job it is to know? And the benzo regime not implemented by nurses who don't speak English so your life is in danger and also when they think ye asking for extra librium/oxazepam, to get a benzo buzz, whilst there's 4 fellars in the same room shitting they're kecks and your going thru this as a young man and they're all 80 odd shouting for their mothers and then you do it again and then again ad hominim- thats when ye know its time to realise ive gotta change me circle of friends- listen to Mongolian chanting, buy a didgeridoo and hope to become enlightened on a mountain one day far far away from the failed NHS rip
Considering how much alcoholism there is in the UK, and how normalised alcohol is, it blows my mind that the treatment is so bad. Hope you're doing better today mate
@@_BatCountry I could write a book about it mate, especially how the NHS has declined over 14 years
Having a regular hangover really is a "Birthday Party" compared to withdrawal. I laughed out loud one that one.
Many days I have woken up after a day and night of heavy drinking and the first thing on my mind would be, "Do I have anything more to drink, and if so how much?" I would gauge my situation and act accordingly. The reason being was how "stable" I would be able to make myself so I could figure out if I was walking up to the store to buy more, or if I didn't have enough to get through the first couple hours of the day I would have to order it for delivery.
When I did have to get delivery it would only take an hour or two tops for it to arrive, but I remember pacing around my room, looking at the clock every few minutes, looking out the window to see if they were here and I missed the knock at the door, running to the bathroom to put cold water on my face and neck, sipping water and pretending it was Vodka, ANYTHING to keep my mind out of that moment.
Some days were so bad my heart would be pounding, a great feeling of panic and terror as I knew I had to wait however long to get my alcohol. Then to hear the knock at the door and say to myself, "THANK GOD, FINALLY." Try and keep it together for the interaction at the door, run to my room and quickly down as much alcohol as I can to get back to baseline of actually feeling normal again. Such a vicious cycle.
Only to start it all again the next day. Horrible way to live.
Thanks for the video as always.
Oof, that "try and keep it together for the interaction at the door" is painfully real to me. You're right, it's just no way to live at all.
Been there, but I had to wait until 9 to get to the liquor store. The anxiety and the pounding in my chest waiting to get to the liquor store is not something I'll forget anytime soon. Now, I'm just grateful I don't have to live that way anymore, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.