Julia Kristina Counselling thanks for all your video. What I do to help me is spend lots of time outside in nature. I will take long walks, kayaking/canoeing and bike rides. Sometimes I have to push myself out and about. Once I'm out I feel so much better. If I stay put I will be anxious. I truly appreciate all the time you take to make these great videos. They help me out a lot.
I love that so much NaturesFairy - and I agree with you, there is something very healing about being out in nature and breathing in the fresh air. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. xo
Thank you so much. My family is being split up and my brother is having trouble with his mental state and illegal substances. Though this seems dark i have become numb to emotions and letting myself feel. Though my family is going through a rough time i still go to ballet everyday of the week and forget about the outside world.
When my partner left, I made a vision board of all the things I am going to achieve now I have the freedom to make all my own decisions :) it has people I find inspiring on it and pictures places I will visit.
As someone with PTSD who experiences reoccurring flashbacks and night terrors, all from numerous traumatic experiences, you’re videos are so so incredibly helpful. Thank you🙏🏻
I too have PTSD, she is amazing... I suffer as you do... I am not the same guy I once was I am broken.. I just wanted to say hang in there, your not alone...
Calling yourself "someone with PTSD" is already setting yourself up to fail. PTSD isn't an illness that you're stuck with. It's a symptom of your perception of your experiences and how you've chosen to move forward with them. It truly is mind over matter
"There's never a good enough reason for something traumatic to happen to anyone" really hit me hard. I was so young when it started that I don't know who I am outside of trauma. I see it everywhere, and I try to help the hurting helpers, and now I'm learning that I didn't deserve the trauma, but I do deserve the same compassion I give to others.
I really needed to hear that third one. Last week a co-worker died while we were at work, and I couldn't save him. I was the only one who was there with him when he died, and I'm finding myself extremely bitter about people at the office not seeming to grasp that that was extremely difficult to witness and that they're not in the same position as me. I'm going to have to find a way to adjust my expectations of people.
I've always been taught that the answer to the first question of "Why me?" is something you will eventually be told but only after you die. Until that point, turn the pain into a strength and you'll teach yourself that it had a purpose in your self development. For example, if you grew up with a neglectful father, become an positively involved father that is aware of the pain it causes a child to have the opposite. Someone who didn't have the pain can't appreciate the internal growth that you would have in becoming that person, so it ended up benefiting you in the bigger picture.
1-Why ....because my parents were traumatized humans and didn’t understand how to heal from their own trauma.....so they did the best they could with the tools they had. 2-what if .....there is no what if because you can’t change the past only the present and future. 3-why doesn’t anybody understand....because nobody is else is you ,they don’t have your brain,,,,,,therefore nobody can ever truly see the tapes and feel the feelings that you can play and feel. 1a- as an adult ,I can fully reconnect to myself ,get professional therapy and rewire my brain to look after myself,my health,my needs and my wants in a healthy way. Thanks for helping 🙏🏻💕
I am Whole, Perfect, Strong, Powerful, Loving, Harmonious, and Happy. I will get over this trauma. I’m so angry that I didn’t know I had this Trauma till I was late 20s. My whole life is fucked. I can’t keep a job/career for many years,. Relationships, friends and people in general hate me. Can’t be around people most of the time. I sweat a lot in public. Can’t focus and work. I’m going to break this fucking cycle.
This is really insightful, and is going to help me I think. I'm struggling with something traumatic at the moment, and I will try to counteract these thought processes you identified. Thank you. 💜
I'm glad that it resonated with you, Bonnie. You might also want to join our Facebook group - Good For Me. The group is all about connecting, encouraging, motivating and mindfully focusing on a healthy mindset.
My therapist who does EMDR says that the trauma can get stuck in our brain, like waking up from a nightmare and not being able to process it through. I think my trauma has subsided after EMDR.
Please share about how to get the nervous system to stop freaking out: like the man that panics when he smells diesel fuel, a trigger, what he can do to stop the triggers.
Question #2 - OMG! Story of my life. Constantly rehashing events and continuously asking oneself - what if? suppose I acted differently. etc. etc. It's a war with oneself.
I just found this video. I have been listening to your videos since the pandemic started and you have brought so much peace and understanding to my life. However, I noticed you never address trauma...deep rooted childhood trauma...until I ran across this. Let me tell you, I have read many books on the subject, I’ve been through therapy for many years, I have actively sought healing and have found lots of healing...for the most part. I thought I was a success. I’ve accomplished many things I never thought I could. But...I still have the residual 25% lingering on and on. No matter how much I try, I have this deep seated believe that I am a rotten human being, I’m defective to the core, and someday, I will be found out, or end up crazy. I’ve lived with this fear for 50 years, since the abuse happened. I am permanently scared for life. Yes, those are still my beliefs, no matter what I’ve accomplished, no matter the amount of joy and happiness I have had, those deep seated thoughts always return. I cried deeply when you spoke about the 25% who just haven’t recovered, although I believe I had, to the extent I was able. I thought I would just have to live with the rest. Thank you for validating the residual trauma that can linger. I hope I have time to dismantle those beliefs...and really believe that they are all caused from the trauma and are not me. Bless you for all your videos. You make a difference. Especially in my life.
I just cant move on from anything like workplace bullying. But each individual event just creeps into my mind. And I feel so insecure even today because of that and the things I was told and how I felt.
With regards to the third point you made, Julia, I tend to feel frustrated more because I feel like people simply don't CARE (rather than merely don't understand)
I just experienced a trauma and this video had been very helpful- I’ve always been part of the 75% and will be again with this latest incident ... you are a beautiful person inside and out ..
Thanks Julia, great videos. The last part about predisposition on how bad people and the world is really hit home for me, except it's definitely conscious as opposed to subconscious now. Definitely broken inside and suffering will continue until I change that.
Thank you for this video. This has given me some of the Whys of why I'm stuck in my husband's infidelity six years after the exposure, couples therapy and rebuilding our relationship. I know he loves me and won't leave me, but I'm stuck with all three questions over and over and over, despite the good things we have created together.
Thanks so much for this video! You're so right that there's "No good enough reason" and that has been really hard to deal with, and therapy made a big difference in healing. This was really helpful.
for the first time in my life my baby sister had a seizure. and it was so scary, i’m so scared. and idk what to do. i have so many flashbacks of her and i can’t stop thinking about it. i’m so scared and i feel so much anxiety all the time. i don’t even wanna sit on my cough because it brings back memory’s.
Wow, That's what I found, when I found your Channel. Understanding. Everything you say eases me. Because I feel you can Identify with me, and Understand from the way you break it down. Sent from Heaven. 😇🐞💞
Thank you so much for making this video. However, as I listened to it I find myself being triggered at the same time and became emotional 😭. I am currently having a hard time coping with childhood trauma. For the most part I find myself in the 75% but not today due to a misunderstanding/argument I had with my sister. The argument was a big trigger for me. My back is sooooo tense and feeling extremely defensive and sad 😔.
Just being able to recognize my 'issue' brought great relief, that someone understands and 'gets me'. Especially a professional. This was a great help, being able to identify the internal breakpoint that forced a change in my demeanor and outlook on life.
After watching your video, I'm compelled to respond. The fourth reason you've mentioned really stuck at me, as every time I have a depressive episode, there are two themes that constantly reoccurs during those times, and are triggers for my episodes. Thankfully my episodes only last a few days at a time, but its still a real pain in my rear. And likely why I feel more lifeless most other times, (As far as I can remember in my 30+ years of my life.). I just want to thank you for pointing that out, it gave me foods for thoughts, as your videos gave me a much needed shift in my perspective of my life thus far, and whats going on in my mind.
What is with this semester and me finding a bunch of new triggers? I was clear for like a year and a half, this video brought up the second one in the last 5 weeks. It was the negative self talk, just hearing it in first person. I guess it made it personal. Don't mean to blame you or anything, there's no way to accommodate everyone's triggers as they can be absolutely anything. If it makes you feel better, it wasn't that bad. I've had worse and that one was quickly over. Please don't worry about me, I already worry for myself like an expert. Clearly I still have a lot of work to do and I don't know if the progress I've made in the last 4,5 years was towards anything better in the long term. I did all of that on my own, because I couldn't talk to anyone, I could not reach out. That was an internal problem, others couldn't have changed that. I guess I achieved a tiny bit of expression that allowed me to get outside help. First ever therapy session in a few days, I hope it works as well as some people say.
Your videos have been a god send. My counselor told me in was very co dependent on my wife and my wife is very narsastic. She told me to look up co dependency because our.sesion was basically over and i found 1 of your videos and its helped me alot. I've been to.counciling for 4 months now and I know I need to divorce my counselors told me my family and.friends.have to me.and I've also told.myself that too but I just cant bring myself to get over this why did this happen to me thing and what if and why doesnt anyone understand like I NEED SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND! It's weird. I never thought of being traumatized or anything but I was just randomly listening to your channel and this came on and you started talking about the 25 percent and omg I matched every single 1 of The 3 major things you get stuck.on I was like blown away to realize im.dealing with trauma. Thankyou so much for your videos. I really hope you see and read this comment!
I wish you were closer , I can’t let go of a lot of things. They hold a massive cage on me and it ruins everything for me. I feel like I have compulsions and do things I know are bad but can’t control them. And when it’s over I regret it but can’t say anything to anybody. I ruined a really good relationship with this one and I just wanna find inner peace and stop all the madness inside of me
I am the 25% for sure...but I don’t think it’s too late to survive and heal one day. The trauma for me is very recent (within the last couple years) - it’s having such a negative impact on me...thank you for helping me understand💕
I have those beliefs...I'm healing and able to be cautious around people while my triggers are decreasing. Understanding what happened and letting go of what I don't know. My relationship with God helps and loving myself helps. All relationships start with yourself and God. People who aren't good within aren't usually good to others. Hardly anything is personal, stay strong everyone.
U are amazing Juliana It was as if u were directly talking to me. I have entered into a healing process with your therapeutic service. Thank u so much.
Why did it happen? Sometimes there are messed up people in the world and you get in their line of fire. It is unfortunate but it happens to lot of people from time to time. There is really no why. Why do hurricanes exist? why do earthquakes exist? Heal yourself but don't think about it too much and try to make up things where there isn't any. Sometimes things are just the way they are and there isn't really any meaning behind it. Shit happens and that's it. Lot of times things might happen to you but it's not about you. It's about them. Don't make someone else's problem your problem by overthinking it and running yourself into the ground.
Hi Julia just found your channel and am I so glad that I did I want to say thank you so much for your time for doing these videos this is the best thanks kk
Julia! Thanks again for the amazing video, I was wondering is there one on how to help people through Trauma? Also, is there a way to shoot you some personal questions that I don't want to share in the public comment?
Thank you for saying what if and looking for an answer the answer is there is no good enough reason for what happened. And it’s in the past and I cannot do anything about it.
Me in my WHOLE life,bombarded with gaslightning,triangulation from my EVIL cluster narc mother..,she is a MONSTER... And my brother GOLDENBOY too..,he is a CRUEL covert narc..,also in my WHOLE life trauma ptsd after male EVIL narc abuse. I HOPE this will HELPS and HEAL my wound..,well I am one of 25% WHOs stuck .. But I HOPE my wound will be HEALED and I get a GOOD HEALTHY life 💜,so THANK you Lisa from Trondheim NORWAY💗
I watched your video, impressed. Then I read some of what she said. Maybe I read her wrong but I don't think so. Especially when you had the nerve to say, "Some of your patients/clients' issues are crap," I'd worry about what you would think of my issue, like the death of my youngest son from cancer, and being molested as a child... But you would no doubt think my issue was crap too. You, my dear, "You are in dire need of a lesson in reality, and at least a one-year lesson in bedside manners. I learned my bedside manners when my 4-year old son was hit with a brain tumor, I was 22. "How old are you now?"
I don't have this questions? I've been programmed feeling like not enough. So In childhood I whas raped 3 times. That makes me feel dirty. Afther this I married a big time abuser. So i do know why i don't feel like a whole person. I was born with a chronic depression because I was treated like I was a bad person. I'm going to therapy to get EMDR therapy because of all these traumas. And an other kind of therapy to help me cope with life. This 25% you mentioned are fighters they are strong I can tell you. They tried to survive on there own most of the time. We where born with coping mechanisms. But when you get older your not so resilient anymore then you get stuck. I advice young people to get help early, so the quality of there live can be ok. In my younger days there was nothing like therapy, when you cried you could get even more problems.
mc dijkhuizen I can’t relate to so much of what you mentioned, and knowing that there’s others out there just like me truly makes me feel better, even if it’s just a smidge. I’ve been raped 3 times, the most recent being at gunpoint who had only days earlier started a “tattoo” on me, which I still believe to this day that it was a way to “mark” me. I’m in the process of trying to save up enough money for a coverup & since the tattoo is on my thigh, very dark, and very big I know it won’t be cheap. But it’s something that _needs_ to be done & hoping that afterwards I’ll feel a little less dirty, & not reminded of that specific trauma every single time I get dressed/undressed. Another big trauma for me happened during my active heroin addiction in 2011, right after my most recent rape. I made many stupid decisions during my addiction, which got me caught up with someone who become obsessed, long story short, he endedup killing a girl who had given me drugs. I was threatened into setting him up & testifying in court, where it all came out even though I told them how scared for my life I was. My father was an abusive alcoholic, so I always found myself gravitating towards pieces of shit men who were also mentally & physically abusive to me, because like you mentioned, you start to believe something after being told it for so long. I didn’t think I deserved better or that I could even get better. I still struggle with that, but I am definitely in a better place then I used to be with that specific issue. I’m 29, which is still young, I’ve been clean for the past 5yrs, but my depression & PTSD tends to arise out of hiding & kick my ass. But after surviving so much, just like you have, gives me some hope that if we can survive the trauma no one should ever endure, that we _can_ survive our illness. You are a strong woman. You are a survivor. You are a fighter. You are beautiful. And I love you.
mc dijkhuizen you are not dirty. The choices others made do not define your worth and value. I am so truly sorry for what you have been through - you are a precious soul full of light that people have tried to extinguish - but you are still fighting. Holding space for you and sending love and prayers for a peaceful, healed future where you can find joy and know how truly precious, loved, and valuable you truly are💙
Thank you for your videos. I relate to just about everything and it is helping me get through a challenging time by putting things in a different perspective than what I tell myself in my mind. Very grateful for your words of wisdom.
My mom passed away last year from cancer. For me it was very traumatic. A childhood friend of my mother and I went back in the room she died to say our last goodbyes and I found it difficult to see Mom's lifeless body.
How do I get over my past? I think about people in my past and the memories of what they did to me hurts so bad.... Should I move to another country? How do I stop thinking about hurtful actions and words made toward me, after I've given these people so many chances to reconcile? Why do they keep stabbing me in the heart?
Julia, can you address adults with a high ACES score? My ACES score is 8 & as a middle-aged woman, I've dealt with the consequences my entire life. I've been seeking healing for the past 21 years. Also, would be interested in seeing of those adults who are able to get through trauma are adults with high ACES scores.
I completely agree after decades of professional counseling I have never been able to justify the irrational behavior of an raging aggressive alcoholic, dad…Scott s.. hoping to make the shift society
Interesting site Julie. like to post 2 traumas' in my life but I am apprehensive about tell everyone out there in snoop land. All I will say on the main one is extremely personal and if it happened today, and I told anyone my dad would have killed him or he'd be in prison. The other was our son being stricken with cancer at 5 years of age, then dying at 32 from the disease. He died 7 years ago, and I have yet to grieve.
Julia thank you for this video. I'm on the fence between the 75% and the 25%. I feel like I just need to push past these questions that have no satisfactory answers. I need to not let every setback pull me back to the mindset of the first trauma.
Thanks again so much I am finding out I am in the complex PTSD category I am extremely fearful of people even though you would not see it necessarily but if I get 10% better that will put me in the 75 and out of the 25🌴🐊🌴🌻
How about when other people ask us questions about our trauma? I don't feel confortable going into detail and yesterday I was interogated by someone who I thought I could trust. How can I set boundaries?
Just say "No". Nothing else. It's a complete sentence and if they are a TRUE friend, they will respect your word and not continue the interrogation. If not...tells you EVERYTHING you need to know. BTW this interrogater has all the qualities of a person with Narcosistic Personality Disorder. Please look it up... videos from Dr. Ramani can help. Good luck!
I got to say, how am I supposed to get past trauma when it's all I've ever known? I have memories from when I was 2-3 years old and was stuck in it throughout my childhood. I didn't realize that it wasn't normal to have constant suicide ideation until I was 16-17. I've long given up on finding an "answer" a long time ago but my entire existence is based around trauma.
And the people who were supposed to be loving me and protecting me were the ones telling me that I was unlovable and unwanted. Like how long are you supposed to be able resist that when it's drilled into your head??? Yeah, I've given up on believing it was a lie, because everyone still confirms it and makes sure I don't forget it.
Failed relationships due to rejections are the most traumatic for me. 1 failed relationship lead to 3 others out of which the recent one crushed me like the 1st one. I was 17 when the 1st one happened and recent happened now, I'm 27.😶
I was in a fire, a couple of days ago, and there was also a shock bereavement last week. I've been taking anxiety medication, for years, but right now I'm really struggling. I need to pick myself up, again, fast - other people are depending on it. I can't take any time out of my life. Does anybody know of any good youtube videos where somebody is saying things that will help me get my mind back in a channel. My thoughts are all over the place. I'm stuck. I'm finding it difficult to even concentrate on this video. It's all so rational and I'm not there yet.
I find that we need to know why something happened/what led up to it, in order to avoid/prevent that situation from happening again. Sometimes, we may be exhibiting an avoidance pattern b/c we're not ready to deal with all the answers, esp. if it has to do with our actions & having to take responsibility for them...and that hurtful feeling, that we may be partially responsible...b/c we sure as hell did not ask for other people to behave the way they did. However, maybe we stayed in a situation longer than was necessary...perhaps it was an emotion we didn't want to deal with at the time or we didn't want to cut our losses, or the fear associated with not knowing how others would react if they found out, etc. For me, it was learning to set boundaries, knowing & recognizing what they are, and also communication skills (I lacked in a lot of areas!) .
Sorry I cried my eyes out all the way though this.. I experienced a very traumatic event yesterday with my life being threatened.. it's not so easy to overcome this type of stuff. I already suffer from social anxiety and I keep getting refused help, except to top me up with unnecessary pills!.. now this has happened!! I healed on my own for the last year, I feel like all the hard work has been flushed down the toilet. I've been asking for CBT and councelling for over 2 years and they keep refusing me. That's when it turns into the 25% right? Negligence on the systems side towards people like me. Crying for help, getting refused it causes the trauma to be long term.. I understand it way too well.. I've had to deal with this all alone, it hurts alot.😔
Years ago my younger brother also drowned, a few days back he almost drowned again, there was a women who I would give my life for since she saved him. At those moments I just wanted to take my own life.
I don't think helped me, it just pointed out the obvious of how I had felt. I hoped to find out how to forget the feelings, emotions that I crave for now.
What do you find helps when you're struggling?
Julia Kristina Counselling thanks for all your video.
What I do to help me is spend lots of time outside in nature. I will take long walks, kayaking/canoeing and bike rides.
Sometimes I have to push myself out and about. Once I'm out I feel so much better. If I stay put I will be anxious. I truly appreciate all the time you take to make these great videos. They help me out a lot.
I love that so much NaturesFairy - and I agree with you, there is something very healing about being out in nature and breathing in the fresh air. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. xo
Thank you so much. My family is being split up and my brother is having trouble with his mental state and illegal substances. Though this seems dark i have become numb to emotions and letting myself feel. Though my family is going through a rough time i still go to ballet everyday of the week and forget about the outside world.
When my partner left, I made a vision board of all the things I am going to achieve now I have the freedom to make all my own decisions :) it has people I find inspiring on it and pictures places I will visit.
I overcome mine with a bigger fear to forget it.
As someone with PTSD who experiences reoccurring flashbacks and night terrors, all from numerous traumatic experiences, you’re videos are so so incredibly helpful. Thank you🙏🏻
I too have PTSD, she is amazing... I suffer as you do... I am not the same guy I once was I am broken.. I just wanted to say hang in there, your not alone...
I'm starting to believe that I might have mental trauma or nah but I always disagree with my own opinions so im lost at this point
Wowww
Calling yourself "someone with PTSD" is already setting yourself up to fail.
PTSD isn't an illness that you're stuck with. It's a symptom of your perception of your experiences and how you've chosen to move forward with them.
It truly is mind over matter
"There's never a good enough reason for something traumatic to happen to anyone" really hit me hard. I was so young when it started that I don't know who I am outside of trauma. I see it everywhere, and I try to help the hurting helpers, and now I'm learning that I didn't deserve the trauma, but I do deserve the same compassion I give to others.
I really needed to hear that third one. Last week a co-worker died while we were at work, and I couldn't save him. I was the only one who was there with him when he died, and I'm finding myself extremely bitter about people at the office not seeming to grasp that that was extremely difficult to witness and that they're not in the same position as me. I'm going to have to find a way to adjust my expectations of people.
I've always been taught that the answer to the first question of "Why me?" is something you will eventually be told but only after you die.
Until that point, turn the pain into a strength and you'll teach yourself that it had a purpose in your self development.
For example, if you grew up with a neglectful father, become an positively involved father that is aware of the pain it causes a child to have the opposite. Someone who didn't have the pain can't appreciate the internal growth that you would have in becoming that person, so it ended up benefiting you in the bigger picture.
1-Why ....because my parents were traumatized humans and didn’t understand how to heal from their own trauma.....so they did the best they could with the tools they had.
2-what if .....there is no what if because you can’t change the past only the present and future.
3-why doesn’t anybody understand....because nobody is else is you ,they don’t have your brain,,,,,,therefore nobody can ever truly see the tapes and feel the feelings that you can play and feel.
1a- as an adult ,I can fully reconnect to myself ,get professional therapy and rewire my brain to look after myself,my health,my needs and my wants in a healthy way.
Thanks for helping 🙏🏻💕
Spot on💯💯
I am Whole, Perfect, Strong, Powerful, Loving, Harmonious, and Happy.
I will get over this trauma. I’m so angry that I didn’t know I had this Trauma till I was late 20s.
My whole life is fucked. I can’t keep a job/career for many years,. Relationships, friends and people in general hate me. Can’t be around people most of the time. I sweat a lot in public. Can’t focus and work.
I’m going to break this fucking cycle.
This is really insightful, and is going to help me I think. I'm struggling with something traumatic at the moment, and I will try to counteract these thought processes you identified. Thank you. 💜
I'm glad that it resonated with you, Bonnie. You might also want to join our Facebook group - Good For Me. The group is all about connecting, encouraging, motivating and mindfully focusing on a healthy mindset.
My therapist who does EMDR says that the trauma can get stuck in our brain, like waking up from a nightmare and not being able to process it through. I think my trauma has subsided after EMDR.
@masha it's a type of trauma therapy, it's got a lot of positive reviews and I really want to try it
Please share about how to get the nervous system to stop freaking out: like the man that panics when he smells diesel fuel, a trigger, what he can do to stop the triggers.
I've done these things in the past from the trauma I've been through since I was a child. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse and rape.
How did you get over it please if u have any tips can u share?
Question #2 - OMG! Story of my life. Constantly rehashing events and continuously asking oneself - what if? suppose I acted differently. etc. etc. It's a war with oneself.
I just found this video. I have been listening to your videos since the pandemic started and you have brought so much peace and understanding to my life. However, I noticed you never address trauma...deep rooted childhood trauma...until I ran across this. Let me tell you, I have read many books on the subject, I’ve been through therapy for many years, I have actively sought healing and have found lots of healing...for the most part. I thought I was a success. I’ve accomplished many things I never thought I could. But...I still have the residual 25% lingering on and on. No matter how much I try, I have this deep seated believe that I am a rotten human being, I’m defective to the core, and someday, I will be found out, or end up crazy. I’ve lived with this fear for 50 years, since the abuse happened. I am permanently scared for life. Yes, those are still my beliefs, no matter what I’ve accomplished, no matter the amount of joy and happiness I have had, those deep seated thoughts always return. I cried deeply when you spoke about the 25% who just haven’t recovered, although I believe I had, to the extent I was able. I thought I would just have to live with the rest. Thank you for validating the residual trauma that can linger. I hope I have time to dismantle those beliefs...and really believe that they are all caused from the trauma and are not me. Bless you for all your videos. You make a difference. Especially in my life.
Thank you. The retired clinician who is starting inner child work at 58 y.o.
OMG so glad I found your channel. Such great advice
J-me Bernie Med too..🤗💙
I just cant move on from anything like workplace bullying. But each individual event just creeps into my mind. And I feel so insecure even today because of that and the things I was told and how I felt.
I understand I been thru bullying
I can relate. My insecurities are a magnet for those a-holes
I have C-PTSD but all of my siblings as well. My dad was violent I have made a lot of progress. This video is right on.
With regards to the third point you made, Julia, I tend to feel frustrated more because I feel like people simply don't CARE (rather than merely don't understand)
I'm so grateful to the Universe that I found your channel! You are a blessing, this job you are doing by helping people is real!
I just experienced a trauma and this video had been very helpful- I’ve always been part of the 75% and will be again with this latest incident ... you are a beautiful person inside and out ..
Thanks Julia, great videos. The last part about predisposition on how bad people and the world is really hit home for me, except it's definitely conscious as opposed to subconscious now. Definitely broken inside and suffering will continue until I change that.
Thankyou Julia. I found this very helpful. Your clarity & encouragement much appreciated.
Thank you for this video. This has given me some of the Whys of why I'm stuck in my husband's infidelity six years after the exposure, couples therapy and rebuilding our relationship. I know he loves me and won't leave me, but I'm stuck with all three questions over and over and over, despite the good things we have created together.
Erica Folange he sounds like a narcissist. They don’t really love.
Thanks so much for this video! You're so right that there's "No good enough reason" and that has been really hard to deal with, and therapy made a big difference in healing. This was really helpful.
It just takes time to heal. First you have to recognize it's there then you can forgive yourself for holding you back & the victimizer.
When you started talking about the 25% that subconsciously create a story. I had just finished calling myself unworthy.
for the first time in my life my baby sister had a seizure. and it was so scary, i’m so scared. and idk what to do. i have so many flashbacks of her and i can’t stop thinking about it. i’m so scared and i feel so much anxiety all the time. i don’t even wanna sit on my cough because it brings back memory’s.
Wow, That's what I found, when I found your Channel. Understanding. Everything you say eases me. Because I feel you can Identify with me, and Understand from the way you break it down. Sent from Heaven. 😇🐞💞
Thank you so much for making this video. However, as I listened to it I find myself being triggered at the same time and became emotional 😭. I am currently having a hard time coping with childhood trauma. For the most part I find myself in the 75% but not today due to a misunderstanding/argument I had with my sister. The argument was a big trigger for me. My back is sooooo tense and feeling extremely defensive and sad 😔.
Praying! = Kinda of monologue for those who doesn't believe in Eternity... but it works!
Just being able to recognize my 'issue' brought great relief, that someone understands and 'gets me'. Especially a professional.
This was a great help, being able to identify the internal breakpoint that forced a change in my demeanor and outlook on life.
After watching your video, I'm compelled to respond. The fourth reason you've mentioned really stuck at me, as every time I have a depressive episode, there are two themes that constantly reoccurs during those times, and are triggers for my episodes. Thankfully my episodes only last a few days at a time, but its still a real pain in my rear. And likely why I feel more lifeless most other times, (As far as I can remember in my 30+ years of my life.). I just want to thank you for pointing that out, it gave me foods for thoughts, as your videos gave me a much needed shift in my perspective of my life thus far, and whats going on in my mind.
Really grateful you found this helpful Kevin. Thanks for sharing some of your story with us.
What is with this semester and me finding a bunch of new triggers? I was clear for like a year and a half, this video brought up the second one in the last 5 weeks. It was the negative self talk, just hearing it in first person. I guess it made it personal. Don't mean to blame you or anything, there's no way to accommodate everyone's triggers as they can be absolutely anything. If it makes you feel better, it wasn't that bad. I've had worse and that one was quickly over. Please don't worry about me, I already worry for myself like an expert. Clearly I still have a lot of work to do and I don't know if the progress I've made in the last 4,5 years was towards anything better in the long term. I did all of that on my own, because I couldn't talk to anyone, I could not reach out. That was an internal problem, others couldn't have changed that. I guess I achieved a tiny bit of expression that allowed me to get outside help. First ever therapy session in a few days, I hope it works as well as some people say.
Your videos have been a god send. My counselor told me in was very co dependent on my wife and my wife is very narsastic. She told me to look up co dependency because our.sesion was basically over and i found 1 of your videos and its helped me alot. I've been to.counciling for 4 months now and I know I need to divorce my counselors told me my family and.friends.have to me.and I've also told.myself that too but I just cant bring myself to get over this why did this happen to me thing and what if and why doesnt anyone understand like I NEED SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND! It's weird. I never thought of being traumatized or anything but I was just randomly listening to your channel and this came on and you started talking about the 25 percent and omg I matched every single 1 of The 3 major things you get stuck.on I was like blown away to realize im.dealing with trauma. Thankyou so much for your videos. I really hope you see and read this comment!
As a person who've been through traumatic experience this opened my eyes to a lot of things😢
I wish you were closer , I can’t let go of a lot of things. They hold a massive cage on me and it ruins everything for me. I feel like I have compulsions and do things I know are bad but can’t control them. And when it’s over I regret it but can’t say anything to anybody. I ruined a really good relationship with this one and I just wanna find inner peace and stop all the madness inside of me
I am the 25% for sure...but I don’t think it’s too late to survive and heal one day. The trauma for me is very recent (within the last couple years) - it’s having such a negative impact on me...thank you for helping me understand💕
It is absolutely possible to heal from trauma! I have :)
Are you getting any support?
wow. this lady is good. i’ve been trying to find something i could have done different and what if questions.
I have those beliefs...I'm healing and able to be cautious around people while my triggers are decreasing. Understanding what happened and letting go of what I don't know. My relationship with God helps and loving myself helps.
All relationships start with yourself and God. People who aren't good within aren't usually good to others. Hardly anything is personal, stay strong everyone.
I , honestly, loved to watch your advice
U are amazing Juliana
It was as if u were directly talking to me.
I have entered into a healing process with your therapeutic service.
Thank u so much.
Thank you Julia. You are helping me so much. I hope I will be able to get out of that 25% one day. I pray it happens soon.
You are very very good at explaining trauma. Thank you 🙏
Thank you for your help and support.
Thank you so much for all you do for us out here.even in the last couple of days of listening, i feel so much better. Thank you again.
Why did it happen? Sometimes there are messed up people in the world and you get in their line of fire. It is unfortunate but it happens to lot of people from time to time. There is really no why. Why do hurricanes exist? why do earthquakes exist? Heal yourself but don't think about it too much and try to make up things where there isn't any. Sometimes things are just the way they are and there isn't really any meaning behind it. Shit happens and that's it. Lot of times things might happen to you but it's not about you. It's about them. Don't make someone else's problem your problem by overthinking it and running yourself into the ground.
Hi Julia just found your channel and am I so glad that I did I want to say thank you so much for your time for doing these videos this is the best thanks kk
Julia! Thanks again for the amazing video, I was wondering is there one on how to help people through Trauma? Also, is there a way to shoot you some personal questions that I don't want to share in the public comment?
I have watched almost all your videos the last few months. Amazing stuff, thank you
Thank you for saying what if and looking for an answer the answer is there is no good enough reason for what happened. And it’s in the past and I cannot do anything about it.
Me in my WHOLE life,bombarded with gaslightning,triangulation from my EVIL cluster narc mother..,she is a MONSTER...
And my brother GOLDENBOY too..,he is a CRUEL covert narc..,also in my WHOLE life trauma ptsd after male EVIL narc abuse.
I HOPE this will HELPS and HEAL my wound..,well I am one of 25% WHOs stuck ..
But I HOPE my wound will be HEALED and I get a GOOD HEALTHY life 💜,so THANK you Lisa from Trondheim NORWAY💗
Homelessness , lymphoma cancer really fucked me up im strong i never done therapy
I watched your video, impressed. Then I read some of what she said. Maybe I read her wrong but I don't think so. Especially when you had the nerve to say, "Some of your patients/clients' issues are crap," I'd worry about what you would think of my issue, like the death of my youngest son from cancer, and being molested as a child... But you would no doubt think my issue was crap too. You, my dear, "You are in dire need of a lesson in reality, and at least a one-year lesson in bedside manners. I learned my bedside manners when my 4-year old son was hit with a brain tumor, I was 22. "How old are you now?"
I don't have this questions? I've been programmed feeling like not enough. So In childhood I whas raped 3 times. That makes me feel dirty. Afther this I married a big time abuser. So i do know why i don't feel like a whole person. I was born with a chronic depression because I was treated like I was a bad person. I'm going to therapy to get EMDR therapy because of all these traumas. And an other kind of therapy to help me cope with life.
This 25% you mentioned are fighters they are strong I can tell you. They tried to survive on there own most of the time. We where born with coping mechanisms. But when you get older your not so resilient anymore then you get stuck. I advice young people to get help early, so the quality of there live can be ok. In my younger days there was nothing like therapy, when you cried you could get even more problems.
mc dijkhuizen
I can’t relate to so much of what you mentioned, and knowing that there’s others out there just like me truly makes me feel better, even if it’s just a smidge. I’ve been raped 3 times, the most recent being at gunpoint who had only days earlier started a “tattoo” on me, which I still believe to this day that it was a way to “mark” me. I’m in the process of trying to save up enough money for a coverup & since the tattoo is on my thigh, very dark, and very big I know it won’t be cheap. But it’s something that _needs_ to be done & hoping that afterwards I’ll feel a little less dirty, & not reminded of that specific trauma every single time I get dressed/undressed. Another big trauma for me happened during my active heroin addiction in 2011, right after my most recent rape. I made many stupid decisions during my addiction, which got me caught up with someone who become obsessed, long story short, he endedup killing a girl who had given me drugs. I was threatened into setting him up & testifying in court, where it all came out even though I told them how scared for my life I was. My father was an abusive alcoholic, so I always found myself gravitating towards pieces of shit men who were also mentally & physically abusive to me, because like you mentioned, you start to believe something after being told it for so long. I didn’t think I deserved better or that I could even get better. I still struggle with that, but I am definitely in a better place then I used to be with that specific issue. I’m 29, which is still young, I’ve been clean for the past 5yrs, but my depression & PTSD tends to arise out of hiding & kick my ass. But after surviving so much, just like you have, gives me some hope that if we can survive the trauma no one should ever endure, that we _can_ survive our illness.
You are a strong woman. You are a survivor. You are a fighter. You are beautiful. And I love you.
@@nuggwife7162 Thank you so much for your kind words. I will remember them in my head and my hart😘💖
@Only Human Thank you so much for these wise words. I never thought of it this way. Your words lift me up, really!!! Love you a lot 😘
mc dijkhuizen you are not dirty. The choices others made do not define your worth and value. I am so truly sorry for what you have been through - you are a precious soul full of light that people have tried to extinguish - but you are still fighting. Holding space for you and sending love and prayers for a peaceful, healed future where you can find joy and know how truly precious, loved, and valuable you truly are💙
@Snow flakes ; couldn't agree with you more. Just knowing and being aware and not denying is being strong and getting help is doing the work.🙏
Your content is spot on. Thanks for posting👍
Julia thank you so much! You are really good at what you are doing. All of your videos help a lot. Please keep it up! x
Thank you for your videos. I relate to just about everything and it is helping me get through a challenging time by putting things in a different perspective than what I tell myself in my mind. Very grateful for your words of wisdom.
Help cost money, that I dont have.
Welcome aboard, comrade.
My mom passed away last year from cancer. For me it was very traumatic. A childhood friend of my mother and I went back in the room she died to say our last goodbyes and I found it difficult to see Mom's lifeless body.
Thanks for the awesome video Julia! You and your work, your mission are wonderful. May our lord bless you and your family 🙏😇❤️
Thankyou for your time you truly inspire me
How do I get over my past? I think about people in my past and the memories of what they did to me hurts so bad.... Should I move to another country? How do I stop thinking about hurtful actions and words made toward me, after I've given these people so many chances to reconcile? Why do they keep stabbing me in the heart?
Thank you sweet lady
Julia, can you address adults with a high ACES score? My ACES score is 8 & as a middle-aged woman, I've dealt with the consequences my entire life. I've been seeking healing for the past 21 years. Also, would be interested in seeing of those adults who are able to get through trauma are adults with high ACES scores.
Amazing love this thank you ❤️
What about? the what if it happens again or I know it's not real but what if this time it is .
What about multiple traumatic events ?
I completely agree after decades of professional counseling I have never been able to justify the irrational behavior of an raging aggressive alcoholic, dad…Scott s.. hoping to make the shift society
Interesting site Julie. like to post 2 traumas' in my life but I am apprehensive about tell everyone out there in snoop land. All I will say on the main one is extremely personal and if it happened today, and I told anyone my dad would have killed him or he'd be in prison. The other was our son being stricken with cancer at 5 years of age, then dying at 32 from the disease. He died 7 years ago, and I have yet to grieve.
I was told I have PTSD and depression I need to know I was in a relationship and the guy told me I need my head examined
Thank You, that helped me very much!
Julia thank you for this video. I'm on the fence between the 75% and the 25%. I feel like I just need to push past these questions that have no satisfactory answers. I need to not let every setback pull me back to the mindset of the first trauma.
Thanks again so much I am finding out I am in the complex PTSD category I am extremely fearful of people even though you would not see it necessarily but if I get 10% better that will put me in the 75 and out of the 25🌴🐊🌴🌻
How about when other people ask us questions about our trauma? I don't feel confortable going into detail and yesterday I was interogated by someone who I thought I could trust. How can I set boundaries?
Angelica A Mee too..
Tell them sorry you have to go now you have things to do. If they dont accept that say sorry I have to go to the bathroom.
Just say "No". Nothing else. It's a complete sentence and if they are a TRUE friend, they will respect your word and not continue the interrogation. If not...tells you EVERYTHING you need to know.
BTW this interrogater has all the qualities of a person with Narcosistic Personality Disorder. Please look it up... videos from Dr. Ramani can help. Good luck!
Julia Kristina your videos have helped me so much! Would love to see some videos on Borderline Personality Disorder.
Yes I need a support group I feel it
Julia, I love you. Your the best!
I got to say, how am I supposed to get past trauma when it's all I've ever known? I have memories from when I was 2-3 years old and was stuck in it throughout my childhood. I didn't realize that it wasn't normal to have constant suicide ideation until I was 16-17. I've long given up on finding an "answer" a long time ago but my entire existence is based around trauma.
And the people who were supposed to be loving me and protecting me were the ones telling me that I was unlovable and unwanted. Like how long are you supposed to be able resist that when it's drilled into your head??? Yeah, I've given up on believing it was a lie, because everyone still confirms it and makes sure I don't forget it.
Failed relationships due to rejections are the most traumatic for me. 1 failed relationship lead to 3 others out of which the recent one crushed me like the 1st one. I was 17 when the 1st one happened and recent happened now, I'm 27.😶
I was in a fire, a couple of days ago, and there was also a shock bereavement last week. I've been taking anxiety medication, for years, but right now I'm really struggling. I need to pick myself up, again, fast - other people are depending on it. I can't take any time out of my life. Does anybody know of any good youtube videos where somebody is saying things that will help me get my mind back in a channel. My thoughts are all over the place. I'm stuck. I'm finding it difficult to even concentrate on this video. It's all so rational and I'm not there yet.
Mufti Menk/depression and anxiety
This helps, thank you !
I saw a crime happen and my own life was in jeopardy..I tried talking to those around me and it was blown off.
I find that we need to know why something happened/what led up to it, in order to avoid/prevent that situation from happening again. Sometimes, we may be exhibiting an avoidance pattern b/c we're not ready to deal with all the answers, esp. if it has to do with our actions & having to take responsibility for them...and that hurtful feeling, that we may be partially responsible...b/c we sure as hell did not ask for other people to behave the way they did. However, maybe we stayed in a situation longer than was necessary...perhaps it was an emotion we didn't want to deal with at the time or we didn't want to cut our losses, or the fear associated with not knowing how others would react if they found out, etc. For me, it was learning to set boundaries, knowing & recognizing what they are, and also communication skills (I lacked in a lot of areas!) .
Thank you so much !
Sorry I cried my eyes out all the way though this.. I experienced a very traumatic event yesterday with my life being threatened.. it's not so easy to overcome this type of stuff. I already suffer from social anxiety and I keep getting refused help, except to top me up with unnecessary pills!.. now this has happened!! I healed on my own for the last year, I feel like all the hard work has been flushed down the toilet. I've been asking for CBT and councelling for over 2 years and they keep refusing me. That's when it turns into the 25% right?
Negligence on the systems side towards people like me. Crying for help, getting refused it causes the trauma to be long term.. I understand it way too well.. I've had to deal with this all alone, it hurts alot.😔
Years ago my younger brother also drowned, a few days back he almost drowned again, there was a women who I would give my life for since she saved him. At those moments I just wanted to take my own life.
Hi Julia.. I'm from India and I'm suffering from OCD and my obession is my thoughts..which is causing distress to me.. please help me
mangesh shete Hi I live in the UK and I am the same. Have you found anything that helps? Do you know when it started and if anything triggered it?
Well let the thought come and witness your thoughts try meditation for more information visit india
Excellent, thank you so very much...!!!🙏💗
The worst thing about trauma is losing the trust in other people.
You have been betrayed by people impostering to be your friends.
Thank You 😊 good advice.
Thanks you
You have made me recognise my issue thanks alot for that
Thank you for this.
This was very accurate and helpful thank you
PTSD and complicated grief disorder I feel very stuck.
I don't think helped me, it just pointed out the obvious of how I had felt. I hoped to find out how to forget the feelings, emotions that I crave for now.
What I mean is, it was like 'ok dear.. u are ok and it's over.' I was like what?!'
I hope you are still alive!!! Thank you for the video!
Love it
Please touch on this again.This was a life saver
Yes, there's not enough info on trauma!
Thank God for you ma'am. 😭