People in trauma can see through fake positivity . Your videos are very inviting because you don’t do the over the top long intro with fake smile … keep it real thankyou so much
And THEN, to complicate things even further how to separate (AND/OR distinguish existing comorbid) diagnoses, we have ADHD thrown in the mix, with its' overlapping similarities like for instance impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), intense relationships(issues) and definetly being a trauma causing factor when un- or misdiagnosed. PLUS also the fact that Bipolar Disorder (BD) have many overlaps regarding the mood instabilities which often leads to a misdiagnosis or even get missed which can cause severe damage if not treated correctly. It's no wonder one can get lost in this jungle. Thank you Kim for sharing this important information and your work to sort all of this out ❤
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with BPD. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my husband recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Germany don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
Yes he's Dr.alishrooms.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
I am twice diagnosed with ASD...one therapist suggested it was BPD however I am OBSESSIVELY studying certain subjects, can not hold 'normal' conversations. I stim/fidget, have cuddly toys to sleep with, am sensitive to light, always wear caps...none of these is BPD! I don't touch substence, no drink and am celibate...hardly what is linked with BPD.
I barely even believe in BPD at this point. Seems like it's just a way to dismiss difficult patients. Psychologists with their theory of mind cannot even define the term "personality" so I don't even understand how they can diagnose a personality "disorder"! Not that there's no such thing as fundamentally rotten people, but I'm very skeptical of these diagnostic terms, that's all 😊
@@PrincessMicrowave That's what this video is about though. They have different markers. Around 21.43 there's an comparison image. There's a definition of personality too.
@@HillbillyYEEHAA autism factor helped me drink in social situations to cope among people , and self harm is also common among autistics. cause life is very hard for us. impulsivity is also common because of ADHD
@@HillbillyYEEHAA I do self harm but none of the other impulsive behaviors. And I haven't impulsively self harmed since I was a teenager. I now self harm once every year or two. I actually haven't self harmed since Nov. 2020. I have to be doing very badly for two weeks or more before I might act on self harm. Yet I was diagnosed with BPD even though I didn't meet the other requirements with interpersonal problems either. If you self harm they used to assume you were borderline. Lately some studies are coming out saying that not all people who self harm are borderline.
I'm so thankful for your videos and how informative they are. I haven't officially been diagnosed with BPD or Autism, but I do have C-PTSD. I know I have BPD traits as it relates to relationships and fear of abandonment and have had a mood disorder since a child anxiety/depression. I turn 44 today and I believe with all my spirit and soul the core issue was not being diagnosed with autism/Aspergers spectrum. It has been an Eye Opener. As I child I couldn't make eye contact with people and held my head down to avoid it. I couldn't even call to order a pizza over the phone. My mom would force me to do those things which was very traumatic for me. It is really sad knowing how many young girls never got diagnosed. I want to be officially diagnosed because I know that not getting that diagnosis as a child has really limited me in my life. I have an above average IQ but because of social/communication/sensory issues that come with autism I have lacked behind in life. I thought about an autism diagnosis years ago when learning about it, but because of reading that autistic people lack or have lower empathy I dismissed it because I have high/hyper empathy which has made me stay to myself a lot and not like going out into the world much. I feel other people's pain deeply as my own. As a kid I was known as the crybaby, too sensitive and too shy of a child to adults as well as other children. Not knowing what was wrong, knowing I felt different than others and felt things more deeply and never felt understood. I had a hectic unstable childhood I was overlooked. Back in the 80's autism was the Rain Man not much was known and still today we are still really just learning more about autism spectrum and all the overlooked girls. My more recent c-PTSD diagnosis led me to focus in on every disorder to figure myself out. I have always been introspective and have had some therapy as well. I know I have had anxiety/depression since childhood and have some borderlines traits but wouldn't meet the 5 out of nine to be official and now have complex PTSD due to multiple traumas in life and not knowing the ROOT of them all was being undiagnosed and not getting the help and assistance I needed to thrive. I have just been surviving/camouflaging my whole life, and I'm barely surviving now. I want an officially diagnosis for myself, even though I know in my soul, but because I've always been invalidated, I want to be validated.
You have no idea how grateful I am for this video, and for you, especially, in your "quest" to know more about autism/borderline/cptsd: I found myself crying midway through, realizing how different my life could have been if I had been diagnosed early, and had been able to receive the proper treatment. If I could have even been recognized as more than just a difficult, disobedient, disorganized, angry, dramatic child who could "turn it on" when necessary: I can only imagine how my relationship with my parents and siblings could have been different, even better. Anyway, thank you for this. Please don't stop researching and sharing with us. I have a feeling there are more middle-aged women like myself who need this validation! ❤
I am grateful for both your comment and this video. I wish I could've been supported better as a kid. Finding out at 40 has been interesting. I hope more families start sharing. Girls and women are highly under diagnosed.
RSD and c-PTSD make this murky. I was misdiagnosed myself. I was looking within for what I was doing, as encouraged by my therapy. Instead of calling out their toxicity, I was attempting to reach impossible and ever changing standards by my abuser.
Girls are made with sugar and spice, Barbie’s are plentiful and a dollhouse is nice with kitties and unicorns, too. Empathy drives their high masking eyes, and fear of doing anything wrong; rejection starts early. Safe with just family, criticized badly, and deep family secrets on all sides, trauma and war and struggle, hidden adoptions, illness and injury and rage… the burnout withdrawn and hiding reflecting and internalizing because social interaction burns you out even though your favorite topic is psychology and social sciences. Makeup application and the shape of my face. The times I looked myself in the mirror and learned how to smile in a socially acceptable manner.
Thank you, Dr. Kim. I am an autistic woman but I also want to understand BPD better as well. 🙏🏻 I look forward to future videos on BPD and how presentation can differ between males and females. It boggles my mind how ASD is wrongly assumed to be a male exclusive/dominant condition and BPD a female one. God bless you 🙏🏻💙
Visit places with ordered people, nevermind sexual differences. Visit disordered people in institutions. Interview. Makes notes. Youre not going to learn on YT. You know what you nd to do. Do it. Ur welcome. God bless
I have emotional dysregulation due to cPTSD. I was misdiagnosed with BPD because of self harming behaviors. I don't have unstable relationships or impulsivity. I did find DBT therapy over all very useful. I lost the Borderline diagnosis when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed with level 2 autism much later. I am a bad actress so I am not high masking but most of your videos still make sense to me. I don't think that you have to be high masking for most of this to apply.
@@derekf9017 Oh most definitely I don't limit myself to only YT but I am grateful people like Dr. Kim use YT to help. I agree we shouldn't define nor judge persons themselves by their sex alone. But it is important however to understand how society and people's perception and expectations of sex, ASD, CPTSD, BPD and other conditions impacts me and other people affected by said views. And mind you, my interest in BPD beyond gendered assumptions goes beyond mere curiosity, but comes from personal experiences. Thank you so much for the comment and encouragement, Derek. I can tell this means deeply for you, too. I wish you, your dear ones and everyone here peace and good health. God bless you, as well. 🙏🏻💙
The example of your mother not able to apologize or not apologizing , is not something I recognize in my personal life with full blown-bpd , or in anyone else I know with BPD - in fact quite the opposite. When someone deeply fears rejection we tend to over analyze ourselves - and over empathize with the other and then landing ourselves in dangerous situations. This is just anecdotal, but something to consider when giving information about a mental difference that you do not have yourself. I really enjoy your videos. Thank you for all of your research and please keep posting. This was a great video that really helped. Thank you :)
As someone with diagnosed BPD, I would like to challenge this comment with my own experience of the inability to apologise in my past. This is something I have recovered from now, but on reflection, my refusal to apologise lay in the triggering of the deep seated sense of shame and contempt that I held for myself. My thought process was "if I apologise, then I admit to myself and others that I am a bad person - if I choose not to apologise, I can temporarily avoid the all consuming and burning pain that comes with feeling worthless and evil". From what I understand, there are 4 subtypes of BPD, which can crossover and interchange.
As someone who suspects they have ASD, I really appreciate your content Dr. Kim. The more I learn about cptsd, bpd, asd...it's hard to untangle them all from each other. Things are very murky. Regardless I appreciate you educating us in your spare time as I likely won't pursue a formal diagnosis (due to cost) nor therapy (also due to cost). Thank you for everything you do ❤
I love how cutting edge your content is! I enjoyed listening to your thought process about all of this and appreciate your disclaimers, wholistic perspective and willingness to share concepts as you learn about and come to better understand them. Thank you! ☺👍💓🙏
I think borderline personality disorder is typically thought of as a woman problem partially due to the common trait of emotional outbursts, etc. also the connection with the movie Fatal Attraction. While autism is thought to be a more "silent" disorder with social awkwardness and withdrawal as common symptoms. Just my opinion. 😊
I dont post a comment often, but your video really struck a note and makes me feel so much less estranged from myself and how I've been, so thank you, Kim!
Dr. Kim. Thank you so much for this information. I have an abundance of ASM traits, and am in a relationship with a BPD. While it seems an almost impossible mis-match of personalities, it is very helpful to see the traits of each and to learn. Peace and Blessings to you, and also to your viewers. Mike
Did you have road blocks with professional support? I have BPD, bipolar 1, and CPTSD. I am demanding at this point after three months and two burn outs I get tested for ADHD. But I think I may be on the spectrum too. Still doing research.
Id like to hear someone with your education speak about the definition of personality. As far as I understand, psychology doesn't have a real good sturdy definition of what a personality is, how it is formed or how much it csn change. How does this affect the reliability of *personality* disorder diagnoses?
Thank you, Dr. Kim. I was traumatised and bullied at school as a child and it still haunts me. I have high levels of anxiety and can also feel like a runaway train. Its hell sometimes but I love listening to your videos for guidance. Thank you
I'm so glad this is finally coming up, I had been theorizing and speculating this on my own for so long trying to put my puzzle pieces together and now to see this all backed up by research feels like a gift of god indeed. Thank you Mrs.Kim!
this was super interesting and validating as someone diagnosed with bpd yet pretty positive i have asd as well, at 45 years old. i was diagnosed at 31 w bpd but asd also makes so much sense from early childhood to now. the overlap graphic really got to me as i felt i was represented on both sides. this was just a really intriguing and interesting video and i thank you for creating and posting it.
I've written so much during this video that I can't sum it all up just yet; suffice it to say that I got so much out of this video and I'm so grateful for your channel. Thank you so much.
Has that been difficult, finding out about your father later in life? I found out at 18 (I'm 54) and still don't feel like I've "gotten over it". Also, I think I'm autistic, but undiagnosed. I think maybe so is my mother, or BPD or both. There has been alot of trauma, growing up and throughout. Thanks for your videos.
Thank you for this. I'm glad you're still interested in this because I am too! Your series on this has helped me so much - this information over the past year has sent me down rabbit holes that have helped me understand myself and my family. Thank you! 💕
Well this is fascinating after watching the one about trauma and autism. I've been wondering about my daughter lately. I assumed her issue was autism, because she had some markers as a child but never diagnosed because she was also gifted and you know how that goes. My son was diagnosed very young though, with "severe autism" they called it back then mostly due to inability to communicate and he was just terribly dysregulated as a child. I know both of them are autistic, but my daughter sounds like she may have this borderline personality disorder as well. She has been through a lot of unfortunately self-induced trauma. She has so many scars and she seems to struggle with understanding why some of the things she says off-hand are terribly hurtful. And she's always apologetic but I feel like she never remembers next time. My son is far more careful with his words but he definitely struggles with ToM. I just don't know what to do with this information. She is an adult with no health insurance (TN did not expand medicaid and there is no subsidy if you don't earn enough money) and an aversion to mental health care after seeing what happened to me years ago when i was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am autistic and I got caught mid-sensory meltdown and five minutes later it was on my record. Just like that. It took years to get my diagnoses straightened out. I'm autistic. I have ADHD traits but I definitely don't have BPD as per your comparison chart.
Hi Kim, Loving the video… fellow therapist here :) Another layer is that where there is often perceived or hyper vigilance around rejection in bpd…. ASD folk experience repetitive chronic rejection from the outside world not just from caregivers, but from peers, teachers, employers etc in both micro incidences or quite huge traumatic ones. I think the bottom line is that it’s absolutely impossible to ever 💯 know what is ASD and what is trauma based reactions. Through therapy we can unpick it somewhat and uncover our own truth. For me it’s a mixture of ASD and trauma. But since learning about ASD and applying it to myself and my story things feel a lot lighter and as though they make a lot more sense. Peace ✌🏻🌷
It seems pretty logical to me that autism and bpd could be linked in the sense that autism could lead to bpd. I see bpd as a different presentation of cptsd and so childhood (complex) trauma caused by growing up autistic could lead to bpd developing. I'm not a psychologist, and just trying to understand all this so please do correct/discuss
I’m in a relationship as a ADHD cptsd person partnered with a man who has signs of bpd, hfa and cptsd. We have worked together to form healthier bonds. This led to a course I’ll be sharing for women who may the Cassandra syndrome and or codependency from a spiritual perspective. This is what our generation came to discover. Old relationship templates do not work for ppl like us.
Thank you for doing this topic! I recently found out that I meet the criteria for both. It's been a long journey and I'm glad I finally have some answers.
as a nineteen year old woman who has only recently been diagnosed as a person who has asd, i have spent my teenage years being scared of being rejected. i have never truly let myself be a teenager, and i am currently grieving that fact. though the diagnosis was suggested it was never taken seriously, especially since i am high masking. i had spent my teenage years simply trying, and a great deal of my childhood as well, to hate myself into being 'normal' hating myself for not being able to change. i was diagnosed with adhd, but no matter the treatment, it did not stick truly. when the diagnosis finally came, i had been told i was bi-polar and a person with bpd, by people who i did not tell my inner turmoil, and they only saw my masking and when it failed and i, in turn failed at what i thought was 'normal'. i had brought up this connection to this topic, and while i have not studied it, i have lived it. and to see this video, was to be in a way, validated in my theory. not being diagnosed in itself caused so much trauma. i couldnt see why i wasnt like other, how i wasnt accepted despite being as kind as i could. it then morphed into the 'if i were prettier' to 'if i was skinnier' it wouldnt matter that i was different and that i could not function as the other girls like me who i have seen be named as lesser and girls like me who dont know they have to go up to people to make friends and thus are rejected and get more and more insecure and more and more unhealthy, isolated, thus seen as less attractive, and thus even less approachable. i am trying to find a way to allow myself to live a live, instead of plan one, instead of wait to be prettier, thinner before i was allowed to be a part of life. i am going a bit of trail, but what i want to tell you is that your video validated my feeling of not being dumb, or just well, i do not have the words for it, as i am not a native english speaker and thus not able to express it well, but thank you for making me feel seen.
i am a transgender man but i spent the first 21 years of my life operating under the assumption i was female. i was a huge people pleaser, its part of why it took me so long to accept i am transgender. i was diagnosed with bpd at 20 years old after a slew of other mental illnesses. looking back on my childhood now, i have definitely always been autistic. aside from my brother being diagnosed with autism incredibly young and it being apparent in both sides of my family, i realized that i have always been incredibly good at masking my social difficulties. however, i've never been able to mask my stimming, lack of eye contact, obsessive and repetitive behavior, intense interests, intense anxiety, chronic insomnia, and the way i speak. its fascinating to listen to how my mother will deny i could ever be autistic and talk about the fact that i never smile, talk in monotone all the time, had sensory overloads that led to meltdowns regularly as a child, had a blanket that i have kept up until adulthood to rub my fingers against every single night to go to sleep, constantly chewed on things, etc etc. i guess hindsight is 20/20 but i have been clearly autistic my whole life. i haven't been able to seek formal diagnosis but just knowing this is likely the answer is relieving. i am not a machine, i am not an alien, my brain just works differently from neurotypicals.
i’m a trans man i seriously appreciate the bit where you acknowledged that the language doesn’t quite align what we want to say as “politically correct” or just as respectful people. I’ve found it extremely hard to be diagnosed with the lack of understanding in this area surrounding the distinction between male and female presenting traits and how gender identity could throw that off in a way. most people assume i am bipolar because my autism presents in a typically “female” way. whereas my outbursts i think may be attributed to borderline instead of bipolar and i think gender identity vs sex is playing a role in the misdiagnosis. also the role of hormones is very important but the misunderstanding of trans men and testosterone = aggression they think the outbursts are because of the testosterone. this is a very interesting rabbit hole
Similar but from the female side. Sooooooooo often clueless "experts" repeat the afab afab afab mantra, because they don't believe that trans people literally are biologically different, and autistic women who are trans are misdiagnosed in the same ways as autistic women who are cis. Seems universal though I'm sure there are exceptions. Considering the overlap between autistics and trans people, it's even more egregious so many "experts" spread misinformation about this.
Thank you Dr Kim for further developing further clarification and understanding; and also for bringing us along this very unique journey of self discovery. It really is fascinating to see how the way we are socialised (as girls) has shaped our development uniformly though with different contexts and a broad spectrum
Thank you for these insights. I was diagnosed Bpd about 25 years ago +PTSD and depressions. Now I am 60+ old and I doubt the Bpd diagnosis. I have done lots of research about ASD and I have the most ASD traits. Almost all of the traits. I think that I have ASD instead Bpd.
My mom is 1000% both. Autism runs in my family and my mom is diagnosed along with me. She was also severely abused and I'm learning that our relationship is textbook for bpd mom and daughter
BPD and Autism are completely different. One might be misdiagnosed, but they stem from completely different use of social linguistics and are socialised differently. Traditionally, BPD can be overcome as it's trauma-based, while Autism is a different biology which characterises a person who might or might not have added difficulties/disabilities. The difficulty controlling anger for Autism can do with compounded frustration, constant interruption to flow-state (inertia), less filtering in the Salience Network (due to lower GABA), and emotional (dis)regulation which can occur with many added biological imbalances or lack of education due to loss in translation. Sensory overwhelm can also happen with disease, illness, menopause / peri-, and so on. I don't believe BPD can overlap with Autism, by its clinical definition. If there is a difficulty, and someone helps the Autistic in such a way they're able to relate with and expand perspective, that difficulty can be easily resolved. I think Dr. Francesca Happé is doing some research here as well. Please note: there's far too many interruptions at random in this video to watch it all the way through. Though I'd like to once UA-cam is less chaotic with the smash cut transitions into ads. Give us warning. Finish a thought. Pause. Advert. But middle of a sentence is maddening. Imagine that IRL haha.
May you expand on this? Links, info. Ect. Please? Just an impromptu observation with Dr kim..Kim... she may be HF autistic with cptsd. Her speaking is honest with saying outloud her thought process. I don't know if she is aware of it? I haven't watched many of her videos. But can relate to the female autist thought process of analyzation for better understanding.
Thank you. I suspect I have both even without a bad childhood and have tried dbt w out the diagnosis but sensitivity and generational trauma plus having adhd, sensory issues, hypersensitivity, severe anxiety and other health issues. No one in my family has been tested or would want to be but i feel like sis, me, brother , das all some level of ASD but no one will ever talk to anyone about this but me, like a psych or therapist. It feels brutal feeling like this, like both might match plus the adhd and ocd spectrum. Thank you for this video, I like your presentation style, thanks so much 🧡
I struggle with so many of the same intricacies.. I had a childhood that fits complex trauma. (AOD, emotional unavailability, complex mental health issues in parents and siblings.. (death of sibling and parents when I was 9,10,12). I spent the majority of my life believing it was anxiety, depression, trauma. Invested my life in understanding psychology and coming to terms with these things, still feeling like there was ‘something’ else.. I truly believe I am autistic, but I have started to wonder if bpd is a possibility. Your videos are so clear and helpful in understanding the differences.
Suggestion for the sex linked research: Just use male and female. I think that should suffice to communicate the information and allow any individuals who have gender identity issues to see how the research applies to them personally.
I've been taking this journey myself, female 54 was diagnosed with depression bpd about 20 years ago, I grew up with a learning disability in the 70s , I had difficulty with writing no reading issues, but , I know now I also Adhd I never thought my bpd diagnosed was right I assumed it must be quiet bpd , well after educating myself I'm positive I'm 2E Autisic, not yet found in me to talk to my family doctors to get a referral to a psychologist as I lost trust in psychologist about a decade ago
Wow this is blowing my mind. I was diagnosed with BPD as a teenager and it never felt right and I rejected it even though some of it resonated. I’ve been suspecting for some time that I am undiagnosed autistic (I’m 48)
It’s also important to include FASD and developmental trauma into these comparisons. So many of the symptoms of FASD cross over with ASD and ADHD. My adopted daughter is diagnosed with all four plus PDA. My adopted son is borderline for ASD, has diagnosed developmental trauma and ADHD, and has a lot of the behaviours of ASD but FASD is most likely driving things too. You could look at their presentations and suggest BPD. It’s so complex to tease each one out to diagnose.
Adoptee here (and survivor of dysfunctional home). I presume you realize that Adoption itself is Trauma and will do what you can to love and support them. And yes, it's next to impossible to pull out the threads of C-PTSD, adoptee trauma, and any other emotional/'mental' issues.
Yes I’m very aware of the trauma issues related to adoption and ensuring the children have as much support as I can access to help them with the impact both in terms of neurodevelpmental impact and emotional. I spend a lot of time educating people about these things to try and raise awareness. 😃
Thank you so much Dr Kim, what you say is really very helpful and insightful !!! ❤❤ please keep analyzing. You helped me a lot to understand what am dealing with.
nonetheless i really appreciate you saying that because it gave me the validation i’ve been searching for. you said everything i’ve been saying for years and have been misunderstood and misdiagnosed.
I am 67 and totally confused. My mother was a paranoid schizophrenic with multiple personalities and rejected me. She didn't want me. So I'm pretty sure I have CPTSD and from what I have discovered, I also believe I have ASD as well. From this video I think I may have BPD too. I am waiting for diagnosis of ASD. I've been waiting for 4 years. I have managed to survive but hiding everything and pretending but fear that as I get older, my ability to cope and deal with all this is getting harder. I am alone and suffering but I don't where or who to turn to for help. I have tried but I don't know how to explain what help I need or even if it exists. Sometimes I think it's too late now.
I am sorry that your mother didn't want you. Mine said that she didn't want us kids as well. It is very harmful. So your mother had schizophrenia and multiple personalities (now known as DID)? That is really unusual.
This is REALLY interesting to me, as I've been diagnosed BPD... and now my son is recently diagnosed adhd and then asd level 1.... i have si much trauma, they went give me an adhd diagnosis... but i suspect asd.
I think my mother is BPD. As young as I can remember I saw her having major emotional outbursts. She has try to hurt herself so many times. She never apologizes. One time when she was spending time at my house I asked her to dim the lights in the kitchen because it was late and I was going to sleep and she proceeded to grab a knife and threaten to kill herself. My sister and I have different levels of CPTSD. My nice is autistic non-verbal diagnosed at age of 3. It’s all so much 😢.
It's interesting that you made this video. After a pretty bad emotional episode recently I've decided to look into BPD and it definitely lines up with how I function... but I also highly suspect I have autism at the same time. I've thought that for years now. I have both issues, fear of abandonment & sensory sensitivity. I have a psychologist appointment in a few days ... I hope they take me seriously. I am already afraid of more trauma 😔
Just wanted to say, I love your videos as someone who's just finished an MSc in clinical psychology (hoping to get my doctorate after I've got more experience in the field) and also who thinks they might be autistic. I'm a trans guy myself, but been brought up as female, so I find these sorts of videos really interesting. Thanks
Please bear in mind though that overwhelming autistic women who are trans are missed/misdiagnosed in the same ways as autistic women who are cis. I've never actually heard of an exception, though like with anything I'm sure there are. Both being trans and autistic are neurological, social stuff doesn't factor in to that much, save that I'd assume men/boys who are trans would also have a higher chance of being misdiagnosed for social reasons, like non-white boys are/were.
probably similar to high masking autism in a way (as to them not revealing it to most people but only those very close to them/the ones they interact with daily)..
Love the ven diagram. I’m curious about the overlap between Autism and Fibromyalgia. Wonder how many women are underdiagnosed in either or if they are comorbid.
I'm a cis-male with Autism, and I find I identify much more strongly with the 'female' type of Autism than the traditionally male models. I am gay though, so I wonder if that had some influence due to socialization, expectations, or even brain structure. I do not have any problem with this being called 'female' autism, thank you for being inclusive.
My life makes sense now ❤ diagnosed BPD but since having my baby and realising the cause of many meltdowns is sensory, and doing EMDR for trauma, putting that behind me and realising my main issues like social anxiety and inability to read people are still here, I think its Autism mixed with trauma. Makes perfect sense now
from what i understood bpd is the early form and it can go away or more likely turns into other personality disorders for example anti-social pd , narcissistic pd, and Histrionic PD depending on treatment if any and further trauma im not a doctor though just done my research and that was my conclusion
I spent 6months of my life with a woman who I thought at the end was an aspie. V high functioning and very intelligent. Have since realised some of her behaviour was similar to bpd. She has a sister who has tried to commit suicide (my woman has no history of suicide). Her mother was 'never happy in life'. She has never had a long term relationship and normally runs once the honeymoon is over. Her longest relationship approx 2yrs and that was with a psychiatrist who left her. I assume he realised professionally it was doomed. So yes, I think there is a connection between asd and bpd. I'm currently 3yrs into a relationship with a woman with bpd (no asd). Of all the women in my life, these are the only two I've had a special connection with as though I could touch their wounded inner child. The sexual connection with both is truly amazing.
Super grateful for this video and many others on the topic of adult diagnosis of ASD. While it answers so many questions for me and put a lot of previously confusing issues into perspective, I find myself wondering why and when did this topic become so popular? Of course, this is partly due to my own personal trust issues, but I keep coming back to the same question, "Does everyone have autism/ BPD/ ADHD/PTSD etc?" What % of people are neurotypical? I'm genuinely looking for an answer because my brain wont stop overthinking everthing. Help! 😢
‘Psychiatry and psychotherapy podcast’ on UA-cam has an excellent episode on BPD, which is also available on Spotify. It’s one of the best podcasts in the way of mental health disorders I’ve come across.
My mom seems like classic case of BPD, Adult Child of an Alcoholic, never learned to regulate her emotions and had love/hate relationships with my pretty certain on the spectrum dad. Seems like these types of people gravitate toward each other, just like anxious and avoidant attachment types, they compensate each other’s issues or just keep recreating unhealthy dynamics they’re used to. I myself am female but took after father. They used to misdiagnose me with everything, BPD included, but as soonas I separated from mom I became peaceful and less anxious about keeping up with people around me because nobody else is blaming me for being blind to their emotions and grievances and only ever offering logical solutions. I don’t feel emotions, spare for wrath and mild satisfaction, myself even though I used to when I was younger and less settled in my routines
I'm nonbinary, I personally don't identify as having any gender at all, but I was raised and am still socially percieved as female. In my opinion a more accurate and inclusive way to refer to what is usually termed "females with autism" might be "individuals socialized/raised as female". I think that the things we are encouraged/punished for doing, along with the differing acceptable treatment, expectations and responses from adults, between "boys" and "girls", from when we are infants, accounts for a majority of the differences between what people perceive as a male or female "phenotype" of autism.
Really good insights, thank you! As a nonbinary person too, it's hard to see where I fit into things as someone with CPTSD, maybe BPD or neurodivergency.
Yes agree that socialisation makes a big difference. Also I am used to seeing AFAB and AMAB if you are wanting to refer to something that is binary as that is the actual information they are going by, not even chromosomes (otherwise things like Swyer Syndrome would throw them all for a loop)
I must be both. A couple people mentioned why i change the conversation subject so quickly n i didn't know that i did lol until then. But one person felt slightly hurt thinking i wasn't being supportive but i was n i pick up very quickly what someone means without going into a lengthy conversation. And the other person asks why i change subjects that's when i realized there was something that i didn't have the answer to. Then i came across your videos and maybe I'm autistic...never thought i was but i did have both childhood (neglect) n adult (domestic violence) trauma So how does one start working with ptsd? I'm also HSP.
This is very interesting & a great discussion. I am diagnosed ASD ADHD . I have a background in psychology . My own thoughts stemming very much from my own autistic experience is that the loss of emotional control meltdown in ASD & BDP look different. ASD meltdown comes with screaming, hitting , rocking & hiding. It's very animalistic. These behaviours are hidden I rarely show in public. They are also nonverbal . In BDP crisis I have witnessed there is a great deal of crying distress, some screaming possible self harm but it's verbal & a lot more lucid . In autism there is a lot of processing difference. My 'cogs' than think for me that build my logical world work very differently. This shows in memory spacial all sorts. In BPD these cogs are more in the typical way of thinking logically & navigating the world . That & I can also become non verbal , I am monotonic, I have ptsd Although in relationship I attach and detach differently, relationships don't wound me much. The difference lie very much underneath the surface, and cognitive tests are a valuable, diffential . Agreed on the surface both can look very similar& both contain trauma, both are very painful. My close friend has BDP in so many ways I see potential for diagnosis overlap. However, under the surface, we are very different, and we are very Also Pervasive Development disorder doesn't get mentioned enough & I wish it were . High masking autism which what I have, unmasks in private & is very much more visible. Agree female autism is diffent Because BDP is so painful & can be helped with therapy, my concern is that many women woth BPD & cPTSD are self diagnosed or miss diagnosed austic and not getting the correct support or self understanding. Thanks for a great video
I don't know about self diagnosis but as far as a professional diagnosis it is much easier to get a Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis than an autism diagnosis if you are a woman (from what I have read).
Thank you so mutch for diving in to this. I think i am complete bin misdiagnosed with almost everything. I dont feel or experience any of the thinks anymore. I am no 36. Or can it be ive bin curret . Sorry for my english I am from the Netherlands. I believe i only have trauma. Because that started at the time I wass a kid
I do see the importance of understanding that these types of mental illnesses can show differently in females. However, I'm not sure why it was necessary to emphasize the "white males" aspect. Seems pretty normal as the grandfathers of Psychology were Europeans and for their time-period. -- An example, figure drawing models, had to be men, as it was illegal for men to draw nude women in a classroom or publicly. So if you look at Micheal Angelos's artwork, he also used "white males" as references to sculpt and paint his women. This was normal then. Let's not forget a BPD woman was the one who came up with DBT, AND who wasn't a doctor yet. A lot has changed since then, and women are now dominating the mental health practice, academically and clinically... We're all here on this planet for a short while, let's continue to share and learn from one another :)
My sister has bpd and cptsd. She's also dyslexic like me. I have cptsd, social anxiety, anxiety, and physical health issues from stress. We are both broken and struggle. I thought for years i might be autistic or have adhd, adhd runs on my dads side, he has it, my aunt has it, my cousin.. Its all confusing .
I feel like i have either one of these after watching your videos on bpd, cptsd now this one. I self harm, used to cut now i just hit myself. I threatened my ex partners and friends I didn’t want to lose with s^!$ide if they wanted to break up. Obviously had childhood trauma - was raised in a home with domestic violence, neglect and SA from another family member. There’s more, but maybe i’m not any of these. I have strong suicide thoughts and I breakdown over them because I’m scared i’ll do it given how impulsive i am. When I’m angry I break and throw things, i can’t calm myself down. I want to rage and m*rd3r. I fear i’m not good enough. I feel chronically empty and numb. I now avoid relationships and friendships because I worry they’re going to leave me. And again there’s a lot more but I’ve been referred to psychodynamic therapy. Would a person with autism be referred for that? I haven’t been diagnosed with anything at all so far. I really want an answer because I have struggling to cope for years. I’m not enjoying therapy. I want to work on my reactions and emotions to things but I’m not getting that.
Dr Kim, my dad story is the same. My bio mom said that one guy was my bio dad then she died and dna proved that was false. Through ancestry dna I found my real bio dad recently.
It can be present in both genders but sociopathy and psychopathy are more common in men (for various reasons e.g. certain genes etc etc) according to psychologists and countless research
when she talks about BPD males being incarcerated it's in the context of: they dont get the diagnosis until they're already in prison. its overdiagnosed in women (as in many will be misdiagnosed when they really have ASD, ADHD, CPTSD) and diagnosed late in men (only after it has become an undeniable fact that they are mentally ill, repeat arrests, incarceration, hospitalisations etc.)
Dr. Kim to me it seems like the fact that there is such a spectrum in Autistic people that there also can be a spectrum in these PDs. I feel like i have significant cPTSD from being Autistic and most of the trauma stemming from relationship trauma ( parents, friends, teachers, and past partners) all before i knew inwas Autistic. How can we draw a line and say..this is a person that is Autistic that has relationship trauma and not BPD or this person is Autistic and has BPD. Is it even worthwhile doing so? I don't know any Autistic person that doesn't have relationship trauma. Is it even worth the label? I am just thinking as i will be starting a master's in clinical psychology soon.
Im still trying to fig it out. Diagnosed with borderline in 2014.. My soon to be ex husband admitted me to a mental hospital.. More drugs..the side affects were horrible. Sent to a second mental hospital.. Took me off the drugs .. He had my family do this intervention thing...i fought it.. I was called a f!!!$$ horrible sister..i deserved to take care of my dad for free.. Bec i was so bad. Im the oldest out of all my siblings and cousins. I was wild yea.. At age 4 i was very shy..scared to go to school..so i got the belt whipping.. Never made it better.. I was sexually groped at age 13.. Then sodomized at 17.. I drank.. I smoked.. I did like being alone..my two brothers teased me relentlessy.. But yet it was my fault. My x cheated on me multiple times.. I met him at age 19. And he divorced me in 2018. I lost all my horses.. My home.. My son.. My chickens and geese.. Ive been a mess since. I know this prob seems disjointed but i dont know what to do anymore.. I dont know who i am anymore. My doctors took me off my sleep and anxiety meds..said i didnt need them. I was also born three months early and have a seizure disorder.. Doctors dont listen.. Thank you so much..❤
Dr Kim, what do you think is the best way to approach a new doctor that you think previous psychiatrist misdiagnosed you? I have bipolar disorder, that I know for a fact has to be true because I was diagnosed by 2 psychiatrist independently, but year ago I got BPD diagnosis, however I don't think that meet the criteria. The doctor said that I 'clearly look like someone with both bipolar and borderline', I don't know what she meant, she had seen me for an hour and a half if we would summed up every visit to this point and didn't tell me what criteria I've met, I never said that I struggle with feelings of abandoned because that's just not true. However I can clearly see (and my friend who I know since I was 6, so almost 23 years) that I meet a lot of criteria for autism diagnosis. Is it possible to ask for some ASD diagnosis tests and don't look like you try to self diagnose? I know doctors can be very judgemental, so I have no idea what to do about it. I just want someone to either confirm or deny that's ASD so I can be treated accordingly.
If you have done research, tell the doctor all the symptoms and reasons you think that you have autism. Then see what they say. If they don't say autism then ask for an assessment.
No. High masking is not a substitute for high functioning. You can be hugh functioning and never masked or have extremely little ability or have the idea you are supposed to change your behavior for different settings or people. It also really downplays how much worse level 3 really is. It ignores the more severe symptoms like being non-verbal. It once again decenters the people who are most unable to communicate and advocate for themselves.
And what is this assumption that all autistic people mask or it even occurs to them to do it? Sure, some do. But most I have met, they don't have the thought that they are supposed to alter their behavior or any desire or interest to fit in. In some I've seen a complete disinterest of people as a concept (or it kicks in only after puberty).
I am diagnosed with level 2 autism and I thought that part of the reasoning was because I don't mask according to them. I think that I mask a little bit. But levels are supposed to be support needs so I don't know what masking has to do with that.
You have taken a decade-long suspicion of mine of the connection between Autism and cluster Bs. Oh my. I have been trying to figure out my ex-husband for three decades. Now I Know what he has.
I’ve been following you for many months and this is a most interesting, comprehensive and thought provoking presentation. I am a husband and father to a wife (30 plus years) and three beautiful daughters all but one of whom presents as the research suggests. However, to be clear, I love them deeply and find they all have an irrepressible charism and beauty about them that is unique and so very attractive to most anyone and everyone they meet. Perhaps this is a gift from God to help moderate those of us who present as neurotypical and regulated, because we sure do make a mess of things! And I count you among those that possess the interior beauty of which I speak. Thank you. 🙏🏼
I saw a video on autism research in women. It showed that a lot of the genes associated with autism are different in men and women. I thought that was interesting.
When reading text, please keep the text in view for the entire reading. Using both visual and oral processing helps greatly in understanding. Suddenly switching it back to you while you are still reading the text is extremely distracting and counterproductive to comprehension + memory.
Wow. This was so informative and yes, I have had so many diagnosis until I got ASD. I still struggle to believe it and sometimes say it's all symptoms of high intelligence. Still the sensory stuff are strongly present. My mom definitely has autism even though with the culture and generational trauma it was mixed up with a lot of abusive behavior. My dad is the type with low sensory. He is now starting to show severe psychological symptoms 😢 still they are both very immature and I'm done wearing the mask of the one who has it all together. The way you gathered and analyzed the data is very much like how I do it with my special interest. I'm afraid of saying something that turns out to be untrue yet as long as it helps us to discover something new then that's what matters, like all the atomic models that were simplistic
I am extremely interested in this differential diagnosis. What resonates with me in distinguishing my mother's issues is intent. She demonstrates this need for control and also exhibits knowledge that she is hurting and insulting people. Id imagine that this wouldn't apply in autism She is certainly narcissistic and BPD..can be confused with high functioning autism in her lack of normal social behavior...it's the intent part. She is very different, depending on who she is interacting with
People in trauma can see through fake positivity . Your videos are very inviting because you don’t do the over the top long intro with fake smile … keep it real thankyou so much
So true!
🩷🙏🏻🩷
Good point! I also like her disposition and how she is so genuine.
And THEN, to complicate things even further how to separate (AND/OR distinguish existing comorbid) diagnoses, we have ADHD thrown in the mix, with its' overlapping similarities like for instance impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), intense relationships(issues) and definetly being a trauma causing factor when un- or misdiagnosed. PLUS also the fact that Bipolar Disorder (BD) have many overlaps regarding the mood instabilities which often leads to a misdiagnosis or even get missed which can cause severe damage if not treated correctly. It's no wonder one can get lost in this jungle. Thank you Kim for sharing this important information and your work to sort all of this out ❤
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with BPD. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my husband recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Germany don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Yes he's Dr.alishrooms.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
I am twice diagnosed with ASD...one therapist suggested it was BPD however I am OBSESSIVELY studying certain subjects, can not hold 'normal' conversations. I stim/fidget, have cuddly toys to sleep with, am sensitive to light, always wear caps...none of these is BPD! I don't touch substence, no drink and am celibate...hardly what is linked with BPD.
I barely even believe in BPD at this point. Seems like it's just a way to dismiss difficult patients. Psychologists with their theory of mind cannot even define the term "personality" so I don't even understand how they can diagnose a personality "disorder"!
Not that there's no such thing as fundamentally rotten people, but I'm very skeptical of these diagnostic terms, that's all 😊
@@PrincessMicrowave That's what this video is about though. They have different markers. Around 21.43 there's an comparison image.
There's a definition of personality too.
You don't have to have sex to be bpd.
It can be any behaviour that's impulsive. Gambling, drinking, sex, self harm..
@@HillbillyYEEHAA autism factor helped me drink in social situations to cope among people , and self harm is also common among autistics. cause life is very hard for us. impulsivity is also common because of ADHD
@@HillbillyYEEHAA I do self harm but none of the other impulsive behaviors. And I haven't impulsively self harmed since I was a teenager. I now self harm once every year or two. I actually haven't self harmed since Nov. 2020. I have to be doing very badly for two weeks or more before I might act on self harm.
Yet I was diagnosed with BPD even though I didn't meet the other requirements with interpersonal problems either. If you self harm they used to assume you were borderline. Lately some studies are coming out saying that not all people who self harm are borderline.
I'm so thankful for your videos and how informative they are. I haven't officially been diagnosed with BPD or Autism, but I do have C-PTSD. I know I have BPD traits as it relates to relationships and fear of abandonment and have had a mood disorder since a child anxiety/depression. I turn 44 today and I believe with all my spirit and soul the core issue was not being diagnosed with autism/Aspergers spectrum. It has been an Eye Opener. As I child I couldn't make eye contact with people and held my head down to avoid it. I couldn't even call to order a pizza over the phone. My mom would force me to do those things which was very traumatic for me. It is really sad knowing how many young girls never got diagnosed. I want to be officially diagnosed because I know that not getting that diagnosis as a child has really limited me in my life. I have an above average IQ but because of social/communication/sensory issues that come with autism I have lacked behind in life. I thought about an autism diagnosis years ago when learning about it, but because of reading that autistic people lack or have lower empathy I dismissed it because I have high/hyper empathy which has made me stay to myself a lot and not like going out into the world much. I feel other people's pain deeply as my own. As a kid I was known as the crybaby, too sensitive and too shy of a child to adults as well as other children. Not knowing what was wrong, knowing I felt different than others and felt things more deeply and never felt understood. I had a hectic unstable childhood I was overlooked. Back in the 80's autism was the Rain Man not much was known and still today we are still really just learning more about autism spectrum and all the overlooked girls. My more recent c-PTSD diagnosis led me to focus in on every disorder to figure myself out. I have always been introspective and have had some therapy as well. I know I have had anxiety/depression since childhood and have some borderlines traits but wouldn't meet the 5 out of nine to be official and now have complex PTSD due to multiple traumas in life and not knowing the ROOT of them all was being undiagnosed and not getting the help and assistance I needed to thrive. I have just been surviving/camouflaging my whole life, and I'm barely surviving now. I want an officially diagnosis for myself, even though I know in my soul, but because I've always been invalidated, I want to be validated.
You have no idea how grateful I am for this video, and for you, especially, in your "quest" to know more about autism/borderline/cptsd: I found myself crying midway through, realizing how different my life could have been if I had been diagnosed early, and had been able to receive the proper treatment. If I could have even been recognized as more than just a difficult, disobedient, disorganized, angry, dramatic child who could "turn it on" when necessary: I can only imagine how my relationship with my parents and siblings could have been different, even better.
Anyway, thank you for this. Please don't stop researching and sharing with us. I have a feeling there are more middle-aged women like myself who need this validation! ❤
I am grateful for both your comment and this video. I wish I could've been supported better as a kid. Finding out at 40 has been interesting. I hope more families start sharing. Girls and women are highly under diagnosed.
RSD and c-PTSD make this murky. I was misdiagnosed myself. I was looking within for what I was doing, as encouraged by my therapy. Instead of calling out their toxicity, I was attempting to reach impossible and ever changing standards by my abuser.
What does the "C" in "c-PTSD" stand for?
@@cassandratq9301 complex
“Complex “
Girls are made with sugar and spice, Barbie’s are plentiful and a dollhouse is nice with kitties and unicorns, too. Empathy drives their high masking eyes, and fear of doing anything wrong; rejection starts early.
Safe with just family, criticized badly, and deep family secrets on all sides, trauma and war and struggle, hidden adoptions, illness and injury and rage… the burnout withdrawn and hiding reflecting and internalizing because social interaction burns you out even though your favorite topic is psychology and social sciences. Makeup application and the shape of my face. The times I looked myself in the mirror and learned how to smile in a socially acceptable manner.
💯🥺🙏❤️🩹🥹
Yep
Thank you, Dr. Kim. I am an autistic woman but I also want to understand BPD better as well. 🙏🏻 I look forward to future videos on BPD and how presentation can differ between males and females. It boggles my mind how ASD is wrongly assumed to be a male exclusive/dominant condition and BPD a female one. God bless you 🙏🏻💙
Visit places with ordered people, nevermind sexual differences. Visit disordered people in institutions. Interview. Makes notes. Youre not going to learn on YT. You know what you nd to do. Do it. Ur welcome. God bless
I have emotional dysregulation due to cPTSD. I was misdiagnosed with BPD because of self harming behaviors. I don't have unstable relationships or impulsivity. I did find DBT therapy over all very useful. I lost the Borderline diagnosis when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed with level 2 autism much later. I am a bad actress so I am not high masking but most of your videos still make sense to me. I don't think that you have to be high masking for most of this to apply.
@@derekf9017 Oh most definitely I don't limit myself to only YT but I am grateful people like Dr. Kim use YT to help. I agree we shouldn't define nor judge persons themselves by their sex alone. But it is important however to understand how society and people's perception and expectations of sex, ASD, CPTSD, BPD and other conditions impacts me and other people affected by said views.
And mind you, my interest in BPD beyond gendered assumptions goes beyond mere curiosity, but comes from personal experiences. Thank you so much for the comment and encouragement, Derek. I can tell this means deeply for you, too. I wish you, your dear ones and everyone here peace and good health. God bless you, as well. 🙏🏻💙
The example of your mother not able to apologize or not apologizing , is not something I recognize in my personal life with full blown-bpd , or in anyone else I know with BPD - in fact quite the opposite.
When someone deeply fears rejection we tend to over analyze ourselves - and over empathize with the other and then landing ourselves in dangerous situations.
This is just anecdotal, but something to consider when giving information about a mental difference that you do not have yourself.
I really enjoy your videos. Thank you for all of your research and please keep posting. This was a great video that really helped. Thank you :)
As someone with diagnosed BPD, I would like to challenge this comment with my own experience of the inability to apologise in my past. This is something I have recovered from now, but on reflection, my refusal to apologise lay in the triggering of the deep seated sense of shame and contempt that I held for myself.
My thought process was "if I apologise, then I admit to myself and others that I am a bad person - if I choose not to apologise, I can temporarily avoid the all consuming and burning pain that comes with feeling worthless and evil".
From what I understand, there are 4 subtypes of BPD, which can crossover and interchange.
As someone who suspects they have ASD, I really appreciate your content Dr. Kim. The more I learn about cptsd, bpd, asd...it's hard to untangle them all from each other. Things are very murky. Regardless I appreciate you educating us in your spare time as I likely won't pursue a formal diagnosis (due to cost) nor therapy (also due to cost). Thank you for everything you do ❤
I love how cutting edge your content is! I enjoyed listening to your thought process about all of this and appreciate your disclaimers, wholistic perspective and willingness to share concepts as you learn about and come to better understand them. Thank you! ☺👍💓🙏
I think borderline personality disorder is typically thought of as a woman problem partially due to the common trait of emotional outbursts, etc. also the connection with the movie Fatal Attraction. While autism is thought to be a more "silent" disorder with social awkwardness and withdrawal as common symptoms. Just my opinion. 😊
BPD is like the modern version of female hysteria.
I am an extroverted autistic person who can be loud or silent. I was misdiagnosed with BPD.
@@LadyForestia except it’s not though
What about “quiet” bpd??
I dont post a comment often, but your video really struck a note and makes me feel so much less estranged from myself and how I've been, so thank you, Kim!
Dr. Kim. Thank you so much for this information. I have an abundance of ASM traits, and am in a relationship with a BPD. While it seems an almost impossible mis-match of personalities, it is very helpful to see the traits of each and to learn. Peace and Blessings to you, and also to your viewers. Mike
I was diagnosed with borderline but unsatisfied with the personality disorder thing. Glad I dug deeper and found out I'm also autistic and adhd.
Me too!
Did you have road blocks with professional support? I have BPD, bipolar 1, and CPTSD. I am demanding at this point after three months and two burn outs I get tested for ADHD. But I think I may be on the spectrum too. Still doing research.
Id like to hear someone with your education speak about the definition of personality. As far as I understand, psychology doesn't have a real good sturdy definition of what a personality is, how it is formed or how much it csn change. How does this affect the reliability of *personality* disorder diagnoses?
Thank you, Dr. Kim.
I was traumatised and bullied at school as a child and it still haunts me. I have high levels of anxiety and can also feel like a runaway train. Its hell sometimes but I love listening to your videos for guidance. Thank you
I'm so glad this is finally coming up, I had been theorizing and speculating this on my own for so long trying to put my puzzle pieces together and now to see this all backed up by research feels like a gift of god indeed. Thank you Mrs.Kim!
this was super interesting and validating as someone diagnosed with bpd yet pretty positive i have asd as well, at 45 years old. i was diagnosed at 31 w bpd but asd also makes so much sense from early childhood to now. the overlap graphic really got to me as i felt i was represented on both sides. this was just a really intriguing and interesting video and i thank you for creating and posting it.
What about PDA? It is now diagnosed in the UK as part of the autism spectrum. PDA presents very different and is driven by a need for autonomy.
I've written so much during this video that I can't sum it all up just yet; suffice it to say that I got so much out of this video and I'm so grateful for your channel. Thank you so much.
Has that been difficult, finding out about your father later in life? I found out at 18 (I'm 54) and still don't feel like I've "gotten over it". Also, I think I'm autistic, but undiagnosed. I think maybe so is my mother, or BPD or both. There has been alot of trauma, growing up and throughout. Thanks for your videos.
Thank you for this. I'm glad you're still interested in this because I am too! Your series on this has helped me so much - this information over the past year has sent me down rabbit holes that have helped me understand myself and my family. Thank you! 💕
Well this is fascinating after watching the one about trauma and autism. I've been wondering about my daughter lately. I assumed her issue was autism, because she had some markers as a child but never diagnosed because she was also gifted and you know how that goes. My son was diagnosed very young though, with "severe autism" they called it back then mostly due to inability to communicate and he was just terribly dysregulated as a child. I know both of them are autistic, but my daughter sounds like she may have this borderline personality disorder as well. She has been through a lot of unfortunately self-induced trauma. She has so many scars and she seems to struggle with understanding why some of the things she says off-hand are terribly hurtful. And she's always apologetic but I feel like she never remembers next time. My son is far more careful with his words but he definitely struggles with ToM.
I just don't know what to do with this information. She is an adult with no health insurance (TN did not expand medicaid and there is no subsidy if you don't earn enough money) and an aversion to mental health care after seeing what happened to me years ago when i was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am autistic and I got caught mid-sensory meltdown and five minutes later it was on my record. Just like that. It took years to get my diagnoses straightened out. I'm autistic. I have ADHD traits but I definitely don't have BPD as per your comparison chart.
Were you misdiagnosed with bipolar (BD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?
Hi Kim,
Loving the video… fellow therapist here :)
Another layer is that where there is often perceived or hyper vigilance around rejection in bpd…. ASD folk experience repetitive chronic rejection from the outside world not just from caregivers, but from peers, teachers, employers etc in both micro incidences or quite huge traumatic ones.
I think the bottom line is that it’s absolutely impossible to ever 💯 know what is ASD and what is trauma based reactions.
Through therapy we can unpick it somewhat and uncover our own truth.
For me it’s a mixture of ASD and trauma. But since learning about ASD and applying it to myself and my story things feel a lot lighter and as though they make a lot more sense.
Peace ✌🏻🌷
And there is PMDD to consider, too... Heard about it, read about it and now I am totally confused how to split/seperate all those disgnoses
It seems pretty logical to me that autism and bpd could be linked in the sense that autism could lead to bpd. I see bpd as a different presentation of cptsd and so childhood (complex) trauma caused by growing up autistic could lead to bpd developing. I'm not a psychologist, and just trying to understand all this so please do correct/discuss
I’m in a relationship as a ADHD cptsd person partnered with a man who has signs of bpd, hfa and cptsd. We have worked together to form healthier bonds. This led to a course I’ll be sharing for women who may the Cassandra syndrome and or codependency from a spiritual perspective. This is what our generation came to discover. Old relationship templates do not work for ppl like us.
Thank you, Dr. Kim, for all that you do and share with us!
Excellent, I will watch again. It's an important topic of comparisons
Thank you for doing this topic! I recently found out that I meet the criteria for both. It's been a long journey and I'm glad I finally have some answers.
as a nineteen year old woman who has only recently been diagnosed as a person who has asd, i have spent my teenage years being scared of being rejected. i have never truly let myself be a teenager, and i am currently grieving that fact. though the diagnosis was suggested it was never taken seriously, especially since i am high masking. i had spent my teenage years simply trying, and a great deal of my childhood as well, to hate myself into being 'normal' hating myself for not being able to change. i was diagnosed with adhd, but no matter the treatment, it did not stick truly. when the diagnosis finally came, i had been told i was bi-polar and a person with bpd, by people who i did not tell my inner turmoil, and they only saw my masking and when it failed and i, in turn failed at what i thought was 'normal'. i had brought up this connection to this topic, and while i have not studied it, i have lived it. and to see this video, was to be in a way, validated in my theory. not being diagnosed in itself caused so much trauma. i couldnt see why i wasnt like other, how i wasnt accepted despite being as kind as i could. it then morphed into the 'if i were prettier' to 'if i was skinnier' it wouldnt matter that i was different and that i could not function as the other girls like me who i have seen be named as lesser and girls like me who dont know they have to go up to people to make friends and thus are rejected and get more and more insecure and more and more unhealthy, isolated, thus seen as less attractive, and thus even less approachable. i am trying to find a way to allow myself to live a live, instead of plan one, instead of wait to be prettier, thinner before i was allowed to be a part of life. i am going a bit of trail, but what i want to tell you is that your video validated my feeling of not being dumb, or just well, i do not have the words for it, as i am not a native english speaker and thus not able to express it well, but thank you for making me feel seen.
Both of these sound eerily familiar to me and describe how I feel and my emotions and instability. Thank you Dr. Kim.
i am a transgender man but i spent the first 21 years of my life operating under the assumption i was female. i was a huge people pleaser, its part of why it took me so long to accept i am transgender. i was diagnosed with bpd at 20 years old after a slew of other mental illnesses. looking back on my childhood now, i have definitely always been autistic. aside from my brother being diagnosed with autism incredibly young and it being apparent in both sides of my family, i realized that i have always been incredibly good at masking my social difficulties. however, i've never been able to mask my stimming, lack of eye contact, obsessive and repetitive behavior, intense interests, intense anxiety, chronic insomnia, and the way i speak. its fascinating to listen to how my mother will deny i could ever be autistic and talk about the fact that i never smile, talk in monotone all the time, had sensory overloads that led to meltdowns regularly as a child, had a blanket that i have kept up until adulthood to rub my fingers against every single night to go to sleep, constantly chewed on things, etc etc. i guess hindsight is 20/20 but i have been clearly autistic my whole life. i haven't been able to seek formal diagnosis but just knowing this is likely the answer is relieving. i am not a machine, i am not an alien, my brain just works differently from neurotypicals.
i’m a trans man i seriously appreciate the bit where you acknowledged that the language doesn’t quite align what we want to say as “politically correct” or just as respectful people. I’ve found it extremely hard to be diagnosed with the lack of understanding in this area surrounding the distinction between male and female presenting traits and how gender identity could throw that off in a way. most people assume i am bipolar because my autism presents in a typically “female” way. whereas my outbursts i think may be attributed to borderline instead of bipolar and i think gender identity vs sex is playing a role in the misdiagnosis. also the role of hormones is very important but the misunderstanding of trans men and testosterone = aggression they think the outbursts are because of the testosterone. this is a very interesting rabbit hole
Similar but from the female side. Sooooooooo often clueless "experts" repeat the afab afab afab mantra, because they don't believe that trans people literally are biologically different, and autistic women who are trans are misdiagnosed in the same ways as autistic women who are cis. Seems universal though I'm sure there are exceptions.
Considering the overlap between autistics and trans people, it's even more egregious so many "experts" spread misinformation about this.
There is female and male phenotype. There is nothing else.
I took short acting T for bodybuilding & when I accidentally took too much, I had 2 rather scary rage outbursts that are most uncharacteristic of me.
Thank you Dr Kim for further developing further clarification and understanding; and also for bringing us along this very unique journey of self discovery. It really is fascinating to see how the way we are socialised (as girls) has shaped our development uniformly though with different contexts and a broad spectrum
Thank you for these insights. I was diagnosed Bpd about 25 years ago +PTSD and depressions.
Now I am 60+ old and I doubt the Bpd diagnosis. I have done lots of research about ASD and I have the most ASD traits. Almost all of the traits. I think that I have ASD instead Bpd.
This resonates so much with me and my life experience
Thank you ❤
My mom is 1000% both. Autism runs in my family and my mom is diagnosed along with me. She was also severely abused and I'm learning that our relationship is textbook for bpd mom and daughter
BPD and Autism are completely different. One might be misdiagnosed, but they stem from completely different use of social linguistics and are socialised differently. Traditionally, BPD can be overcome as it's trauma-based, while Autism is a different biology which characterises a person who might or might not have added difficulties/disabilities. The difficulty controlling anger for Autism can do with compounded frustration, constant interruption to flow-state (inertia), less filtering in the Salience Network (due to lower GABA), and emotional (dis)regulation which can occur with many added biological imbalances or lack of education due to loss in translation. Sensory overwhelm can also happen with disease, illness, menopause / peri-, and so on. I don't believe BPD can overlap with Autism, by its clinical definition. If there is a difficulty, and someone helps the Autistic in such a way they're able to relate with and expand perspective, that difficulty can be easily resolved. I think Dr. Francesca Happé is doing some research here as well. Please note: there's far too many interruptions at random in this video to watch it all the way through. Though I'd like to once UA-cam is less chaotic with the smash cut transitions into ads. Give us warning. Finish a thought. Pause. Advert. But middle of a sentence is maddening. Imagine that IRL haha.
May you expand on this? Links, info. Ect. Please? Just an impromptu observation with Dr kim..Kim... she may be HF autistic with cptsd. Her speaking is honest with saying outloud her thought process. I don't know if she is aware of it? I haven't watched many of her videos. But can relate to the female autist thought process of analyzation for better understanding.
Thank you. I suspect I have both even without a bad childhood and have tried dbt w out the diagnosis but sensitivity and generational trauma plus having adhd, sensory issues, hypersensitivity, severe anxiety and other health issues. No one in my family has been tested or would want to be but i feel like sis, me, brother , das all some level of ASD but no one will ever talk to anyone about this but me, like a psych or therapist. It feels brutal feeling like this, like both might match plus the adhd and ocd spectrum. Thank you for this video, I like your presentation style, thanks so much 🧡
I struggle with so many of the same intricacies.. I had a childhood that fits complex trauma. (AOD, emotional unavailability, complex mental health issues in parents and siblings.. (death of sibling and parents when I was 9,10,12).
I spent the majority of my life believing it was anxiety, depression, trauma. Invested my life in understanding psychology and coming to terms with these things, still feeling like there was ‘something’ else.. I truly believe I am autistic, but I have started to wonder if bpd is a possibility. Your videos are so clear and helpful in understanding the differences.
Suggestion for the sex linked research: Just use male and female. I think that should suffice to communicate the information and allow any individuals who have gender identity issues to see how the research applies to them personally.
I've been taking this journey myself, female 54 was diagnosed with depression bpd about 20 years ago, I grew up with a learning disability in the 70s , I had difficulty with writing no reading issues, but , I know now I also Adhd I never thought my bpd diagnosed was right I assumed it must be quiet bpd , well after educating myself I'm positive I'm 2E Autisic, not yet found in me to talk to my family doctors to get a referral to a psychologist as I lost trust in psychologist about a decade ago
adhd comorbid with ASD so bpd is adhd gone bad, then bpd and ASD makes sense
An undiagnosed autistic is likely very familiar with trauma.
Wow this is blowing my mind. I was diagnosed with BPD as a teenager and it never felt right and I rejected it even though some of it resonated. I’ve been suspecting for some time that I am undiagnosed autistic (I’m 48)
It’s also important to include FASD and developmental trauma into these comparisons. So many of the symptoms of FASD cross over with ASD and ADHD. My adopted daughter is diagnosed with all four plus PDA. My adopted son is borderline for ASD, has diagnosed developmental trauma and ADHD, and has a lot of the behaviours of ASD but FASD is most likely driving things too. You could look at their presentations and suggest BPD. It’s so complex to tease each one out to diagnose.
Adoptee here (and survivor of dysfunctional home). I presume you realize that Adoption itself is Trauma and will do what you can to love and support them. And yes, it's next to impossible to pull out the threads of C-PTSD, adoptee trauma, and any other emotional/'mental' issues.
Yes I’m very aware of the trauma issues related to adoption and ensuring the children have as much support as I can access to help them with the impact both in terms of neurodevelpmental impact and emotional. I spend a lot of time educating people about these things to try and raise awareness. 😃
I loved this video thank you so much! I’d love to see a video on ASD and ADHD and ADHD/BPD!🌟🌟
I am so happy to have come across your videos.
Thank you so much Dr Kim, what you say is really very helpful and insightful !!! ❤❤ please keep analyzing. You helped me a lot to understand what am dealing with.
nonetheless i really appreciate you saying that because it gave me the validation i’ve been searching for. you said everything i’ve been saying for years and have been misunderstood and misdiagnosed.
Big yes. I've been asking for ADHD diagnosis and meds for years without success.
I am 67 and totally confused. My mother was a paranoid schizophrenic with multiple personalities and rejected me. She didn't want me. So I'm pretty sure I have CPTSD and from what I have discovered, I also believe I have ASD as well. From this video I think I may have BPD too. I am waiting for diagnosis of ASD. I've been waiting for 4 years. I have managed to survive but hiding everything and pretending but fear that as I get older, my ability to cope and deal with all this is getting harder. I am alone and suffering but I don't where or who to turn to for help. I have tried but I don't know how to explain what help I need or even if it exists. Sometimes I think it's too late now.
I am sorry that your mother didn't want you. Mine said that she didn't want us kids as well. It is very harmful.
So your mother had schizophrenia and multiple personalities (now known as DID)? That is really unusual.
This is REALLY interesting to me, as I've been diagnosed BPD... and now my son is recently diagnosed adhd and then asd level 1.... i have si much trauma, they went give me an adhd diagnosis... but i suspect asd.
I think my mother is BPD. As young as I can remember I saw her having major emotional outbursts. She has try to hurt herself so many times. She never apologizes. One time when she was spending time at my house I asked her to dim the lights in the kitchen because it was late and I was going to sleep and she proceeded to grab a knife and threaten to kill herself. My sister and I have different levels of CPTSD. My nice is autistic non-verbal diagnosed at age of 3. It’s all so much 😢.
It's interesting that you made this video. After a pretty bad emotional episode recently I've decided to look into BPD and it definitely lines up with how I function... but I also highly suspect I have autism at the same time. I've thought that for years now. I have both issues, fear of abandonment & sensory sensitivity. I have a psychologist appointment in a few days ... I hope they take me seriously. I am already afraid of more trauma 😔
Thank you for sharing this! ❤
Just wanted to say, I love your videos as someone who's just finished an MSc in clinical psychology (hoping to get my doctorate after I've got more experience in the field) and also who thinks they might be autistic. I'm a trans guy myself, but been brought up as female, so I find these sorts of videos really interesting. Thanks
Please bear in mind though that overwhelming autistic women who are trans are missed/misdiagnosed in the same ways as autistic women who are cis. I've never actually heard of an exception, though like with anything I'm sure there are.
Both being trans and autistic are neurological, social stuff doesn't factor in to that much, save that I'd assume men/boys who are trans would also have a higher chance of being misdiagnosed for social reasons, like non-white boys are/were.
What do you think about “Quiet” BPD?
probably similar to high masking autism in a way (as to them not revealing it to most people but only those very close to them/the ones they interact with daily)..
Love the ven diagram. I’m curious about the overlap between Autism and Fibromyalgia. Wonder how many women are underdiagnosed in either or if they are comorbid.
I'm a cis-male with Autism, and I find I identify much more strongly with the 'female' type of Autism than the traditionally male models. I am gay though, so I wonder if that had some influence due to socialization, expectations, or even brain structure. I do not have any problem with this being called 'female' autism, thank you for being inclusive.
My life makes sense now ❤ diagnosed BPD but since having my baby and realising the cause of many meltdowns is sensory, and doing EMDR for trauma, putting that behind me and realising my main issues like social anxiety and inability to read people are still here, I think its Autism mixed with trauma. Makes perfect sense now
from what i understood bpd is the early form and it can go away or more likely turns into other personality disorders for example anti-social pd , narcissistic pd, and Histrionic PD depending on treatment if any and further trauma im not a doctor though just done my research and that was my conclusion
BPD which is just trauma is current fashionable word for calling femme people hysterical.
Amen!
Behavioral control!
I spent 6months of my life with a woman who I thought at the end was an aspie. V high functioning and very intelligent. Have since realised some of her behaviour was similar to bpd. She has a sister who has tried to commit suicide (my woman has no history of suicide). Her mother was 'never happy in life'. She has never had a long term relationship and normally runs once the honeymoon is over. Her longest relationship approx 2yrs and that was with a psychiatrist who left her. I assume he realised professionally it was doomed. So yes, I think there is a connection between asd and bpd. I'm currently 3yrs into a relationship with a woman with bpd (no asd). Of all the women in my life, these are the only two I've had a special connection with as though I could touch their wounded inner child. The sexual connection with both is truly amazing.
Emotional lability. We can have ups and downs, right? Not liability. Not always causing harm.
Super grateful for this video and many others on the topic of adult diagnosis of ASD. While it answers so many questions for me and put a lot of previously confusing issues into perspective, I find myself wondering why and when did this topic become so popular? Of course, this is partly due to my own personal trust issues, but I keep coming back to the same question, "Does everyone have autism/ BPD/ ADHD/PTSD etc?" What % of people are neurotypical? I'm genuinely looking for an answer because my brain wont stop overthinking everthing. Help! 😢
Never thought about neurology and masking. What is this masking thing borderline very curiously fascinating?
16:14 can you have both of these. I really want to learn how to function
‘Psychiatry and psychotherapy podcast’ on UA-cam has an excellent episode on BPD, which is also available on Spotify.
It’s one of the best podcasts in the way of mental health disorders I’ve come across.
Thank you, all of those terms and diagnoses, but what to do with all of that excess of information? what is the use and what to make of it?
My mom seems like classic case of BPD, Adult Child of an Alcoholic, never learned to regulate her emotions and had love/hate relationships with my pretty certain on the spectrum dad. Seems like these types of people gravitate toward each other, just like anxious and avoidant attachment types, they compensate each other’s issues or just keep recreating unhealthy dynamics they’re used to. I myself am female but took after father. They used to misdiagnose me with everything, BPD included, but as soonas I separated from mom I became peaceful and less anxious about keeping up with people around me because nobody else is blaming me for being blind to their emotions and grievances and only ever offering logical solutions. I don’t feel emotions, spare for wrath and mild satisfaction, myself even though I used to when I was younger and less settled in my routines
Thank you so much for this video, Dr Kim.
I'm nonbinary, I personally don't identify as having any gender at all, but I was raised and am still socially percieved as female. In my opinion a more accurate and inclusive way to refer to what is usually termed "females with autism" might be "individuals socialized/raised as female". I think that the things we are encouraged/punished for doing, along with the differing acceptable treatment, expectations and responses from adults, between "boys" and "girls", from when we are infants, accounts for a majority of the differences between what people perceive as a male or female "phenotype" of autism.
I agree. Excellent points.
Really good insights, thank you! As a nonbinary person too, it's hard to see where I fit into things as someone with CPTSD, maybe BPD or neurodivergency.
Yes agree that socialisation makes a big difference.
Also I am used to seeing AFAB and AMAB if you are wanting to refer to something that is binary as that is the actual information they are going by, not even chromosomes (otherwise things like Swyer Syndrome would throw them all for a loop)
I must be both. A couple people mentioned why i change the conversation subject so quickly n i didn't know that i did lol until then. But one person felt slightly hurt thinking i wasn't being supportive but i was n i pick up very quickly what someone means without going into a lengthy conversation. And the other person asks why i change subjects that's when i realized there was something that i didn't have the answer to. Then i came across your videos and maybe I'm autistic...never thought i was but i did have both childhood (neglect) n adult (domestic violence) trauma
So how does one start working with ptsd? I'm also HSP.
HSP and Borderline?
@@Catlily5 possibility?
@@ginas.6656 They seem like opposites to me.
@@ginas.6656 At least the part of HSP where they claim have good interpersonal skills.
This is very interesting & a great discussion. I am diagnosed ASD ADHD . I have a background in psychology . My own thoughts stemming very much from my own autistic experience is that the loss of emotional control meltdown in ASD & BDP look different. ASD meltdown comes with screaming, hitting , rocking & hiding. It's very animalistic. These behaviours are hidden I rarely show in public. They are also nonverbal . In BDP crisis I have witnessed there is a great deal of crying distress, some screaming possible self harm but it's verbal & a lot more lucid .
In autism there is a lot of processing difference. My 'cogs' than think for me that build my logical world work very differently. This shows in memory spacial all sorts.
In BPD these cogs are more in the typical way of thinking logically & navigating the world .
That & I can also become non verbal , I am monotonic, I have ptsd
Although in relationship I attach and detach differently, relationships don't wound me much.
The difference lie very much underneath the surface, and cognitive tests are a valuable, diffential .
Agreed on the surface both can look very similar& both contain trauma, both are very painful.
My close friend has BDP in so many ways I see potential for diagnosis overlap. However, under the surface, we are very different, and we are very
Also Pervasive Development disorder doesn't get mentioned enough & I wish it were .
High masking autism which what I have, unmasks in private & is very much more visible.
Agree female autism is diffent
Because BDP is so painful & can be helped with therapy, my concern is that many women woth BPD & cPTSD are self diagnosed or miss diagnosed austic and not getting the correct support or self understanding.
Thanks for a great video
I don't know about self diagnosis but as far as a professional diagnosis it is much easier to get a Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis than an autism diagnosis if you are a woman (from what I have read).
I'm not diagnosed with neither only epilepsy grand mall I'm adopted or stolen baby seizures occur when I sleep and other times thru out the day
I understand. Keep up the gooooood work!😊 U, know / if, u know, u know!!!!!!!❤❤ty.
Thank you so mutch for diving in to this. I think i am complete bin misdiagnosed with almost everything. I dont feel or experience any of the thinks anymore. I am no 36. Or can it be ive bin curret . Sorry for my english I am from the Netherlands. I believe i only have trauma. Because that started at the time I wass a kid
I believe there is some revision on BPD which re-classifies a lot of it as PTSD.
I do see the importance of understanding that these types of mental illnesses can show differently in females. However, I'm not sure why it was necessary to emphasize the "white males" aspect. Seems pretty normal as the grandfathers of Psychology were Europeans and for their time-period. -- An example, figure drawing models, had to be men, as it was illegal for men to draw nude women in a classroom or publicly. So if you look at Micheal Angelos's artwork, he also used "white males" as references to sculpt and paint his women. This was normal then.
Let's not forget a BPD woman was the one who came up with DBT, AND who wasn't a doctor yet. A lot has changed since then, and women are now dominating the mental health practice, academically and clinically... We're all here on this planet for a short while, let's continue to share and learn from one another :)
My sister has bpd and cptsd. She's also dyslexic like me. I have cptsd, social anxiety, anxiety, and physical health issues from stress.
We are both broken and struggle.
I thought for years i might be autistic or have adhd, adhd runs on my dads side, he has it, my aunt has it, my cousin..
Its all confusing .
Dyslexia highly comorbid with adhd, you might already know
I feel like i have either one of these after watching your videos on bpd, cptsd now this one. I self harm, used to cut now i just hit myself. I threatened my ex partners and friends I didn’t want to lose with s^!$ide if they wanted to break up. Obviously had childhood trauma - was raised in a home with domestic violence, neglect and SA from another family member. There’s more, but maybe i’m not any of these. I have strong suicide thoughts and I breakdown over them because I’m scared i’ll do it given how impulsive i am. When I’m angry I break and throw things, i can’t calm myself down. I want to rage and m*rd3r. I fear i’m not good enough. I feel chronically empty and numb. I now avoid relationships and friendships because I worry they’re going to leave me. And again there’s a lot more but I’ve been referred to psychodynamic therapy. Would a person with autism be referred for that? I haven’t been diagnosed with anything at all so far. I really want an answer because I have struggling to cope for years. I’m not enjoying therapy. I want to work on my reactions and emotions to things but I’m not getting that.
Do you believe that borderline personality burns its self out in the aging process?
Borderline Personality Disorder is said to improve with age. 🤷🏻♀️
@@Catlily5 I say to a degree, choosing our battles? But if an individual lacks insight, or awareness in relationships, well then.
@@alphadog3384 My guess is that most people improve somewhat on social skills over their lifetime. Even people who are Borderline.
Dr Kim, my dad story is the same. My bio mom said that one guy was my bio dad then she died and dna proved that was false. Through ancestry dna I found my real bio dad recently.
Are there any links between aspergers , traums/neglect bu chance?
Is BPD more prevalent in one gender? Than the other M or F? Is it also environmentally factored ie prison, lockdowns, 4:27
It can be present in both genders but sociopathy and psychopathy are more common in men (for various reasons e.g. certain genes etc etc) according to psychologists and countless research
when she talks about BPD males being incarcerated it's in the context of: they dont get the diagnosis until they're already in prison. its overdiagnosed in women (as in many will be misdiagnosed when they really have ASD, ADHD, CPTSD) and diagnosed late in men (only after it has become an undeniable fact that they are mentally ill, repeat arrests, incarceration, hospitalisations etc.)
Dr. Kim to me it seems like the fact that there is such a spectrum in Autistic people that there also can be a spectrum in these PDs. I feel like i have significant cPTSD from being Autistic and most of the trauma stemming from relationship trauma ( parents, friends, teachers, and past partners) all before i knew inwas Autistic. How can we draw a line and say..this is a person that is Autistic that has relationship trauma and not BPD or this person is Autistic and has BPD. Is it even worthwhile doing so? I don't know any Autistic person that doesn't have relationship trauma. Is it even worth the label? I am just thinking as i will be starting a master's in clinical psychology soon.
Im still trying to fig it out. Diagnosed with borderline in 2014.. My soon to be ex husband admitted me to a mental hospital.. More drugs..the side affects were horrible. Sent to a second mental hospital.. Took me off the drugs .. He had my family do this intervention thing...i fought it.. I was called a f!!!$$ horrible sister..i deserved to take care of my dad for free.. Bec i was so bad. Im the oldest out of all my siblings and cousins. I was wild yea.. At age 4 i was very shy..scared to go to school..so i got the belt whipping.. Never made it better.. I was sexually groped at age 13.. Then sodomized at 17.. I drank.. I smoked.. I did like being alone..my two brothers teased me relentlessy.. But yet it was my fault.
My x cheated on me multiple times.. I met him at age 19. And he divorced me in 2018. I lost all my horses.. My home.. My son.. My chickens and geese.. Ive been a mess since.
I know this prob seems disjointed but i dont know what to do anymore.. I dont know who i am anymore. My doctors took me off my sleep and anxiety meds..said i didnt need them. I was also born three months early and have a seizure disorder.. Doctors dont listen..
Thank you so much..❤
Thank you. I am so lost. 😢
Dr Kim, what do you think is the best way to approach a new doctor that you think previous psychiatrist misdiagnosed you? I have bipolar disorder, that I know for a fact has to be true because I was diagnosed by 2 psychiatrist independently, but year ago I got BPD diagnosis, however I don't think that meet the criteria. The doctor said that I 'clearly look like someone with both bipolar and borderline', I don't know what she meant, she had seen me for an hour and a half if we would summed up every visit to this point and didn't tell me what criteria I've met, I never said that I struggle with feelings of abandoned because that's just not true. However I can clearly see (and my friend who I know since I was 6, so almost 23 years) that I meet a lot of criteria for autism diagnosis. Is it possible to ask for some ASD diagnosis tests and don't look like you try to self diagnose? I know doctors can be very judgemental, so I have no idea what to do about it. I just want someone to either confirm or deny that's ASD so I can be treated accordingly.
If you have done research, tell the doctor all the symptoms and reasons you think that you have autism. Then see what they say. If they don't say autism then ask for an assessment.
No. High masking is not a substitute for high functioning. You can be hugh functioning and never masked or have extremely little ability or have the idea you are supposed to change your behavior for different settings or people. It also really downplays how much worse level 3 really is. It ignores the more severe symptoms like being non-verbal. It once again decenters the people who are most unable to communicate and advocate for themselves.
And what is this assumption that all autistic people mask or it even occurs to them to do it? Sure, some do. But most I have met, they don't have the thought that they are supposed to alter their behavior or any desire or interest to fit in. In some I've seen a complete disinterest of people as a concept (or it kicks in only after puberty).
I am diagnosed with level 2 autism and I thought that part of the reasoning was because I don't mask according to them. I think that I mask a little bit. But levels are supposed to be support needs so I don't know what masking has to do with that.
You have taken a decade-long suspicion of mine of the connection between Autism and cluster Bs. Oh my. I have been trying to figure out my ex-husband for three decades. Now I Know what he has.
I’ve been following you for many months and this is a most interesting, comprehensive and thought provoking presentation. I am a husband and father to a wife (30 plus years) and three beautiful daughters all but one of whom presents as the research suggests. However, to be clear, I love them deeply and find they all have an irrepressible charism and beauty about them that is unique and so very attractive to most anyone and everyone they meet. Perhaps this is a gift from God to help moderate those of us who present as neurotypical and regulated, because we sure do make a mess of things! And I count you among those that possess the interior beauty of which I speak. Thank you. 🙏🏼
I saw a video on autism research in women. It showed that a lot of the genes associated with autism are different in men and women. I thought that was interesting.
When reading text, please keep the text in view for the entire reading. Using both visual and oral processing helps greatly in understanding.
Suddenly switching it back to you while you are still reading the text is extremely distracting and counterproductive to comprehension + memory.
Wow. This was so informative and yes, I have had so many diagnosis until I got ASD. I still struggle to believe it and sometimes say it's all symptoms of high intelligence. Still the sensory stuff are strongly present. My mom definitely has autism even though with the culture and generational trauma it was mixed up with a lot of abusive behavior. My dad is the type with low sensory. He is now starting to show severe psychological symptoms 😢 still they are both very immature and I'm done wearing the mask of the one who has it all together.
The way you gathered and analyzed the data is very much like how I do it with my special interest. I'm afraid of saying something that turns out to be untrue yet as long as it helps us to discover something new then that's what matters, like all the atomic models that were simplistic
I am extremely interested in this differential diagnosis. What resonates with me in distinguishing my mother's issues is intent. She demonstrates this need for control and also exhibits knowledge that she is hurting and insulting people. Id imagine that this wouldn't apply in autism
She is certainly narcissistic and BPD..can be confused with high functioning autism in her lack of normal social behavior...it's the intent part. She is very different, depending on who she is interacting with