The Tale of Michael Malloy

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  • Опубліковано 19 січ 2018
  • I used the Smithsonian's account of this as my main reference so if you have some beef about somewhere else giving slightly different details, take it up with them
    Check out my other channel, Sam O'Nella Vlog!
    / @samonellavlog2445
    Follow me on twitter!
    / sam_onella
    Intro and outro song:
    "Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
    creativecommons.org/licenses/b...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 10 тис.

  • @48kelvin
    @48kelvin 4 роки тому +6841

    This is a homeless version of rasputin

  • @someartist1908
    @someartist1908 3 роки тому +6937

    Tarrare: Mega stomach
    Ubre Blanca: Mega milk
    Malloy: Mega Liver

    • @lego_grandmasteryoda6874
      @lego_grandmasteryoda6874 3 роки тому +373

      Timothy Dexter: Mega luck with business

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame 3 роки тому +298

      @@lego_grandmasteryoda6874 merge them all and you have the ultimate lifeform.

    • @kahiruo
      @kahiruo 3 роки тому +42

      Malloy can recover really fast

    • @joelrobinson5457
      @joelrobinson5457 3 роки тому +33

      Man with the immortal liver

    • @TamHoang-ck1rd
      @TamHoang-ck1rd 3 роки тому +51

      @@SorowFame Give them a stone mask with the red stone of aja and we’re all doomed

  • @detectivetiershower1817
    @detectivetiershower1817 Рік тому +9744

    He gained a life for every person he saved as a firefighter

    • @asackboyplush6508
      @asackboyplush6508 Рік тому +139

      Yes

    • @Dr170
      @Dr170 Рік тому +241

      Canon

    • @BillyisAmongUs
      @BillyisAmongUs Рік тому +507

      "you, you saved me!"
      "Silence child, as a drain your life force"

    • @roycoll2123
      @roycoll2123 Рік тому +118

      The only posible theory crazy enough to be canon

    • @Killbayne
      @Killbayne Рік тому +48

      well he should've saved just 1 more and they would've moved on

  • @naka8899
    @naka8899 2 роки тому +14057

    I like how the plan went from “hey let’s make money off his death” to “aight let’s try using the car. He can’t survive a car.”

    • @Andresalex4
      @Andresalex4 2 роки тому +1

      I know right? It's like their motives went from making money off of him to literally just trying to see if they could figure out a way to actually kill him and it's beautiful

    • @flynn8845
      @flynn8845 Рік тому +34

      xD

    • @MemeMachine-po9zo
      @MemeMachine-po9zo Рік тому +534

      And then he survived the car

    • @slickman3975
      @slickman3975 Рік тому +257

      And came back with no recollection of them running him over…. Twice

    • @Person-lk1vs
      @Person-lk1vs Рік тому +5

      huh

  • @griffingresge7458
    @griffingresge7458 3 роки тому +15283

    “Deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy” thats bars

  • @lostfauna6784
    @lostfauna6784 6 років тому +3463

    “Motherfucker asks for another”

    • @niko7877
      @niko7877 6 років тому +87

      He is the reason why Guinness World Records was created

    • @MrMoney-no8ry
      @MrMoney-no8ry 6 років тому +17

      3:15

    • @MrLoger3
      @MrLoger3 6 років тому +39

      I swear i dont laugh often because of a video....
      But this made me cry at 4am, waking the whole neighborhood

    • @fizzypebble332
      @fizzypebble332 6 років тому +1

      MrLoger3 sure you did

    • @TheSpurion
      @TheSpurion 6 років тому

      Was looking for this!

  • @magmat0585
    @magmat0585 2 роки тому +10118

    According to Wikipedia, one of his nicknames was legitimately "The Juggernaut". Also, apparently he was so well known to the cops that THEY were the ones who questioned Iron Mike's "death by pneumonia" and had the body exhumed and studied

    • @Wildcat12
      @Wildcat12 2 роки тому +15

      The “Juggernaut” title was added as a nod to this video, as were other parts of the article like the motherfucker quote.

    • @AceOfBlackjack
      @AceOfBlackjack 2 роки тому +29

      @@Wildcat12 Where

    • @dylanpotato8739
      @dylanpotato8739 2 роки тому +276

      @@AceOfBlackjack wikipedia

    • @neobell9511
      @neobell9511 Рік тому +348

      @@AceOfBlackjack this may be 3months ago but its literally the 3rd word bruh

    • @enigmazero3082
      @enigmazero3082 Рік тому +284

      "I'm the Juggernaut bitch"
      -Michael Malloy

  • @bt-7justclowning
    @bt-7justclowning 2 роки тому +2455

    I feel towards the end they stopped caring about the money they just wanted to know if he could die

  • @oddsock3254
    @oddsock3254 6 років тому +17980

    Killing an Irish man with alcohol.
    Someone forgot to do their research.

  • @franceknop1155
    @franceknop1155 4 роки тому +4828

    - Irishman
    - Kill with alcohol
    "orb effect does not stack"

    • @singeslayer8367
      @singeslayer8367 4 роки тому +121

      to quote the video: "Oh, I like that joke!"

    • @Jjonahlamison
      @Jjonahlamison 4 роки тому +9

      Hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahah

    • @orbcat1790
      @orbcat1790 4 роки тому +16

      *DID YOU SUMMON ME*

    • @franceknop1155
      @franceknop1155 4 роки тому +9

      @@orbcat1790 *MY BRETHREN!*

    • @David-jn1gg
      @David-jn1gg 3 роки тому +6

      @@orbcat1790 what reference joke is this

  • @justmaxproductions
    @justmaxproductions 2 роки тому +4891

    I was half expecting Sam to say something like "after surviving being hit by a car twice, Malloy was shot 5 times with a pistol, he showed up the next day with a limp, finally showing some signs of mortality"

  • @OptimusPhillip
    @OptimusPhillip Рік тому +454

    Some extra tidbits not mentioned in the video (courtesy of Wikipedia).
    In addition to methanol, they also gave him shots of antifreeze, turpentine, horse liniment, and fucking rat poison.
    Malloy was saved from freezing to death by police, who brought him to a homeless shelter to recover.
    Apparently, Malloy was a subject of gossip around speakeasies, due to his seeming inhuman resilience. In fact, by some accounts, this is how the murder was discovered: police had overheard rumors of the unkillable Michael Malloy, and when they received word of his death, they got suspicious and dug up his body for examination.
    By some accounts, there was an additional party to the murder: a Dr. Frank Manzella, who falsely pronounced Malloy dead of pneumonia. After the crime was discovered, Manzella was imprisoned as an accessory to murder.

  • @thisissparta789789
    @thisissparta789789 3 роки тому +28232

    Also, he reportedly told Marino after eating the sardine sandwich that his cooking was first-class, and that he should open a restaurant.

    • @kishascape
      @kishascape 3 роки тому +1683

      That was so mean smothering his face like with gas like that.

    • @calebmurray4438
      @calebmurray4438 3 роки тому +858

      Maybe he knew and anti-poisoned himself just to piss them off....

    • @calebmurray4438
      @calebmurray4438 3 роки тому +475

      No wait that’s stupid. He’s just some fucking monstrosity

    • @joekerr9150
      @joekerr9150 3 роки тому +134

      @@calebmurray4438 ok

    • @jxmn._kxot2611
      @jxmn._kxot2611 3 роки тому +89

      @@calebmurray4438 ok

  • @chubbyudder9002
    @chubbyudder9002 5 років тому +21130

    Humans have two modes.
    1. *Slips in the shower and dies*
    2. *Gets ran over twice and comes waltzing in*

    • @hollowhoagie6441
      @hollowhoagie6441 4 роки тому +1507

      We can survive nuclear fallout
      But oh boy beware of *_Stairs_*

    • @foserk7063
      @foserk7063 4 роки тому +84

      You stole this comment but okay

    • @hollowhoagie6441
      @hollowhoagie6441 4 роки тому +358

      @@foserk7063 shush, every meme is stolen, this comment itself is a meme

    • @strebicux6174
      @strebicux6174 4 роки тому +12

      900th like

    • @AtariWow
      @AtariWow 4 роки тому +60

      With how I treat my body I'll probably be the first mode

  • @stuflu8380
    @stuflu8380 Рік тому +935

    I like how Sam doesn’t tell us how he survived just to make sure we felt the same way as Marino. He survived the methanol since they’d give him regular alcohol and then after a few shots give him methanol, but ethanol naturally bonds to methanol which makes it no longer poisonous. As for getting hit with the car, two police officers found him soon after and took him to a hospital

    • @exotic1405
      @exotic1405 Рік тому +86

      Then what the hell was the sandwhich

    • @turtlelord8021
      @turtlelord8021 Рік тому +1

      @@exotic1405 just has fuckin strong teeth and strong stomach flesh.

    • @bierwolf8360
      @bierwolf8360 Рік тому +128

      ethanol and methanol do not bind - they are just metabolized by the same parts in the liver. Methanol itself is not very poisnous but the enzyme "alcohol dehydrogenase" turns methanol into formaldehyde and then formic acid, which are way more toxic. By having excess ethanol, the methanol is actually prevented from being metabolized and is instead largely passed through. Same goes for the anti-freeze they tried to kill him with too.

    • @kattastic9999
      @kattastic9999 10 місяців тому +21

      ​@@exotic1405probably just threw it up later

    • @robertt9825
      @robertt9825 9 місяців тому +51

      @@kattastic9999 Yeah, given that level of alcoholism he was likely throwing up fairly regularly. So the damage POTENTIALLY could have been minimal. (Also don't try ANY of this at home kids)

  • @dantemacdonald7672
    @dantemacdonald7672 2 роки тому +298

    The line itself plus the delivery of "let's deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy" makes me crack up time and time again

    • @MadLadJay98
      @MadLadJay98 9 місяців тому +10

      The "shut up" line fucking gets me

  • @ARVash
    @ARVash 4 роки тому +18339

    The thing they didn't consider with their method of poisoning, is that alcohol is one of the ways to treat methanol poisoning. The man was pickled in the cure while he was drinking the poison.

    • @Jjonahlamison
      @Jjonahlamison 4 роки тому +824

      Alan Ball huh that’s cool

    • @ADAJ342
      @ADAJ342 4 роки тому +284

      Neat

    • @arqwn4680
      @arqwn4680 4 роки тому +436

      What about the nasty food,

    • @ARVash
      @ARVash 4 роки тому +1220

      @@arqwn4680 no idea, I only know about the methanol.

    • @tabitharosefreeman1793
      @tabitharosefreeman1793 4 роки тому +98

      Interesting fact, thanks for the info 👍🏾

  • @jerrendrummond7051
    @jerrendrummond7051 4 роки тому +6625

    Had me dead when he asked for another sandwich lmao

    • @welcometothestream8860
      @welcometothestream8860 3 роки тому +86

      Imagine getting all of your fingers chopped,and saying
      "Do that again lol"

    • @AxtroLeaf
      @AxtroLeaf 3 роки тому +16

      Didn't have him dead, though.

    • @olliegoria
      @olliegoria 3 роки тому +13

      That sandwich killed the wrong guy

    • @maurice1962
      @maurice1962 3 роки тому +50

      “Motherfucker asks for another”

    • @Voidlingstudiosofficial
      @Voidlingstudiosofficial 3 роки тому

      @James Bolton uoy teab em ot ti

  • @nataliehills2416
    @nataliehills2416 2 роки тому +307

    The fact that I knew about this obscure person in history prior to watching this is potentially problematic

  • @legitspaghettinoodle5589
    @legitspaghettinoodle5589 2 роки тому +139

    I love the implication that everyone knows about the Hindenburg disaster despite that event being five years in the future

  • @ReBlarted
    @ReBlarted 6 років тому +3426

    He was Alcoholic *draws a beer*
    He was also irish *draws another beer*

    • @demondwilson706
      @demondwilson706 6 років тому +112

      And a former firefighter *pastes Steve Buscemi's head*

    • @preludetodemise
      @preludetodemise 6 років тому +225

      As a proud irishman I am deeply offended
      he should of had at least three more beers. four if he was catholic

    • @ReBlarted
      @ReBlarted 6 років тому +7

      doctor death defying i couldnt agree more

    • @klutz3955
      @klutz3955 6 років тому +8

      yeah, way too little for his nationality

    • @maxwellmendo2828
      @maxwellmendo2828 6 років тому +4

      At least he wasn't married.

  • @stupit467
    @stupit467 3 роки тому +9859

    I actually feel bad for Malloy, he's just drinking his Acid they poured in to kill him, he takes a nap and they just take him in a room and directly murdered him. That sucks.

    • @kirisai7453
      @kirisai7453 3 роки тому +378

      I mean he died unconsious and after doing what he liked

    • @stupit467
      @stupit467 3 роки тому +152

      @@kirisai7453 yeah but he can't do it anymore, can he?

    • @kirisai7453
      @kirisai7453 3 роки тому +266

      @@stupit467 still better than feeling pain
      If he could feel pain after all that

    • @BunnyOnASnuman
      @BunnyOnASnuman 3 роки тому +28

      @@kirisai7453 up to debate

    • @thetexancrus2036
      @thetexancrus2036 3 роки тому +102

      @@stupit467 Better than getting ran over conscious I can promise you that.
      Especially since in the story he was dodging the car so he was probably at least a little sober and aware if his surroundings.

  • @faithnamer
    @faithnamer Рік тому +270

    3:14 this part always kills me

    • @0BucketMask0
      @0BucketMask0 Рік тому

      "Motherfucker asks for another."

    • @ChristianSandviknes
      @ChristianSandviknes Рік тому +16

      That's good, because it surely didn't kill him.

    • @VERGILGASM
      @VERGILGASM 6 місяців тому +5

      It's great because Sam swears so rarely

  • @alden1132
    @alden1132 Рік тому +47

    The reference to Steve Buscemi when it was mentioned Malloy was a former firefighter is hilarious! Buscemi was also once a firefighter in NYC. He actually went to his firehouse, to work with his old Ladder company as a 1st responder, after the 9/11 terror attacks. He didn't do it for publicity, praise, or attention, didn't tell anyone from the news, or from show business, or anyone that tipnoff the wider world. There is at least one photo of him sitting on the Company truck, though, all of them were covered in ash, soot, dirt, blood (presumably, it was a wide shot), but he never sought recognition. He's a bona fide hero.

  • @shonklebonkle324
    @shonklebonkle324 3 роки тому +6017

    The dudes: you have a lot of nerve being alive
    Malloy: i'm pretty sure i don't have nerves anymore.

    • @facelessmiasma4664
      @facelessmiasma4664 3 роки тому +77

      Not sure why, but this hit me so hard I nearly choked on my water.

    • @maksanimates4456
      @maksanimates4456 3 роки тому +80

      @@facelessmiasma4664 so did the car for Malloy

    • @thestoryman5706
      @thestoryman5706 2 роки тому +19

      Man just pulled a life hack and removed his vital organs from his body so they wouldn't get damaged

    • @Year_of_the_Dell
      @Year_of_the_Dell 2 роки тому +2

      I feel that

  • @carlwithhats4837
    @carlwithhats4837 3 роки тому +15689

    It’s kinda sad to think that Malloy always came back to the same bar, maybe believing that he was gifted drinks, and that the 3 bar guys hang up with him because they liked him. He probably thought he had drinking pals and then they fricking killed him

    • @Mothlord03
      @Mothlord03 3 роки тому +1954

      At least he never knew they were behind it. Woulda been worse if the last thing he knew was "they betrayed me" or whatever

    • @lollikabosso.w.n7153
      @lollikabosso.w.n7153 2 роки тому +645

      At least his spirit couldve lived in peace laughing his head off

    • @longlivegarybusey6409
      @longlivegarybusey6409 2 роки тому +124

      Better than being born with a micro penis. Trust me.

    • @Luckyroses
      @Luckyroses 2 роки тому +109

      So were all just gonna ignore the fact that they're hanging up with him?

    • @sealbeegle9785
      @sealbeegle9785 2 роки тому +275

      @@longlivegarybusey6409 my condolences

  • @komi-sanmustbeprotected5665
    @komi-sanmustbeprotected5665 2 роки тому +84

    Best part is they spent around half of the equivalent to their insurance claim trying to kill him from the costs of the drinks, chemicals, and bribes, also if they'd bothered to pay to have him embalmed properly they wouldn't of gotten caught cause his body wouldn't of had the signs he was gassed to death

  • @aidan5720
    @aidan5720 2 роки тому +55

    4:11 thats an understatement honestly

  • @1D991
    @1D991 4 роки тому +4044

    Malloy: Is murdered.
    Also Malloy: Y'know what, do that again.

  • @Tsunbanana
    @Tsunbanana 4 роки тому +3500

    Malloy: f-ing drinks literal death juice
    Malloy: tasty, another please

    • @olliegoria
      @olliegoria 3 роки тому +63

      They cut the methanol with real alcohol, which happens to be the cure for methanol poisoning

    • @skylerkishikawa2327
      @skylerkishikawa2327 3 роки тому +11

      @@olliegoria Wait am I stupid what does cut the methanol with real alcohol mean

    • @olliegoria
      @olliegoria 3 роки тому +78

      @@skylerkishikawa2327 They mixed methanol, or wood alcohol, with drinkable liquor, which cures methanol poisoning.
      Basically they were diluting the poison with the cure.

    • @skylerkishikawa2327
      @skylerkishikawa2327 3 роки тому +6

      @@olliegoria Thank you for explaining

    • @cyrusjohnson2763
      @cyrusjohnson2763 3 роки тому +9

      More like "tasty fifty more shots please."

  • @Skipmunk85
    @Skipmunk85 Рік тому +68

    ok something I found out from reading the Wikipedia page is that Sam skipped a few steps between regular alcohol and wood alcohol. the most interesting to me is they tried giving him ANTIFREEZE which he chugged down no problem, probably because all the alcohol in his system stopped it from being absorbed by the liver. This detail might help explain all of the other poisons failing as well
    Also, the 5 men had a doctor sign the original death certificate and had him buried quickly, but when local police heard he died they were just like "No fucking way THAT guy died" and had him exhumed and reexamined. This was when they found that there was something up

    • @Lagonbreezey
      @Lagonbreezey Рік тому +16

      Counter argument, the man was Irish, meaning all science is out the window and his liver is made of solid titanium and has a thirst for alcohol so great that he just doesn’t die.

    • @cumcumcum148
      @cumcumcum148 Місяць тому

      I know for a fact that the antidote for methanol is ethanol. So the idea "It didn't work because he had a lot of alcohol already" isn't far fetched

  • @madelrainwater4694
    @madelrainwater4694 10 місяців тому +19

    The "mf asked for another" if my fav part and I ended up watching this month's later and still having a great time with that line

  • @Bonzane
    @Bonzane 6 років тому +5276

    The quote “deployed a ploy to destroy the unemployed Malloy” is on his Wikipedia page.

    • @mrblazeapound7856
      @mrblazeapound7856 5 років тому +69

      Bonzane lol

    • @KingKhanate1997
      @KingKhanate1997 5 років тому +628

      So is the “Motherfucker asks for another” quip.

    • @DavidLopez-pc7yg
      @DavidLopez-pc7yg 5 років тому +36

      MadMongol Metalhead they took it off.

    • @Burn_Angel
      @Burn_Angel 5 років тому +131

      Death God They only replaced "Motherfucker".

    • @MeinUnterkampf
      @MeinUnterkampf 5 років тому +130

      They actually mention this video on the page in the "Pop culture" section.

  • @szentesilazar8144
    @szentesilazar8144 5 років тому +1240

    -He was an alcoholic
    *draws a bottle in his hand*
    -Irish
    *draws an another bottle in his other hand*

    • @sage9662
      @sage9662 4 роки тому +2

      i mean he wasn't _wrong_

    • @Human-gu2cx
      @Human-gu2cx 4 роки тому +2

      Szentesi Lázár accurate

  • @JohnV33
    @JohnV33 Рік тому +18

    You have to feel bad for Michael Malloy, he was basically tortured and given near fatal injuries multiple times. Not to mention he was a homeless ex-firefighter, he likely had a very tough life

  • @goblinbabe
    @goblinbabe 10 місяців тому +13

    “Oh I like that joke” is the best part of my day

  • @AzaratheFlea
    @AzaratheFlea 5 років тому +5226

    "He was an alcoholic, Irish"
    So you just mean Irish right

    • @fcon8507
      @fcon8507 5 років тому +286

      Hey, fuck you man...not all us Irish are alcoholics. Plenty of us are perfectly normal FUNCTIONAL alcoholics. There's a big difference.

    • @gwensmith7439
      @gwensmith7439 5 років тому +7

      @Masahiro Sakurai wooosh

    • @barney1942
      @barney1942 5 років тому +34

      Dudeface Everyone reddit get out

    • @elijahhayes9039
      @elijahhayes9039 5 років тому +7

      @@fcon8507 dude it's a joke and if ur so offended why'd u only hate on this dudes comment the vid made the exact same joke

    • @fcon8507
      @fcon8507 5 років тому +62

      @@elijahhayes9039 I was offended because I was drunk at the time. Might be drunk now too. Fuck you!

  • @pollall2793
    @pollall2793 4 роки тому +40490

    Trying to kill an Irishman with alcohol is like trying to drown a fish...

    • @gingermcgingin1733
      @gingermcgingin1733 4 роки тому +1624

      You can actually drown most fish, just put them in the opposite water type (salt or fresh) from what they're supposed to be in.

    • @m4tt655
      @m4tt655 4 роки тому +1675

      Ginger McGingin shut up

    • @Detahramet
      @Detahramet 4 роки тому +2403

      @@gingermcgingin1733 That doesn't so much kill them by drowning as it does fuck with their internal salt levels, killing them. Putting a freshwater fish in the ocean is like force feeding someone salt.
      You can, however, kill a fish by putting it in water that is the appropriate salinity but has had all the disolved oxygen in removed, though that is more akin to suffocating someone with nitrogen than anything else, but fuck it, close enough.

    • @zlatanibrahimovic8329
      @zlatanibrahimovic8329 4 роки тому +294

      deathtamer666 ah yes water, N2O

    • @spring1242
      @spring1242 4 роки тому +228

      Fish can drown as long as the water isnt oxygenated

  • @yoda8104
    @yoda8104 9 місяців тому +7

    The “oh I like that joke” granny kills me 💀

  • @kawaiigirl1482
    @kawaiigirl1482 9 місяців тому +7

    After the sandwich I’d just assume he’s immortal 💀

  • @alexlestrange8662
    @alexlestrange8662 5 років тому +8202

    People: Rasputin the unkillable
    Malloy: hold my alcohol, antifreeze, turpentine, rat poison, and this funky tasting sandwich

    • @austin2787
      @austin2787 5 років тому +217

      Alex Lestrange Rasputin the immortal Russian and Malloy the immortal Irishman

    • @simeondoesstuffbg3881
      @simeondoesstuffbg3881 5 років тому +26

      Tammy Martel The immortal Irishman actually. Malloy I mean.

    • @austin2787
      @austin2787 5 років тому +7

      SimeonDoesStuff BG changed, thanks!

    • @emberthewolf1297
      @emberthewolf1297 5 років тому +1

      Yep.
      Sans: wtf u eat more than ketchup out the bottle

    • @yourgrandaddy1083
      @yourgrandaddy1083 4 роки тому +45

      The thing is, Rasputin's case is pure exaggeration and unverifiable, while motherfucking Mike Malloy's durability is a confirmed fact.

  • @greivoud7113
    @greivoud7113 3 роки тому +10999

    You missed a couple of the best parts: After all the booze (even the wood one) he managed to walk in a straight fucking line. Also when they dumped him in the park he survived and another one of the men in the gang caught a cold.

    • @joelrobinson5457
      @joelrobinson5457 3 роки тому +445

      Pretty sure that was a sign of things to come

    • @spiko1755
      @spiko1755 3 роки тому +176

      I still think the silt are joke it the best with the old lady just saying ohh I like that one

    • @JohnDolehi
      @JohnDolehi 3 роки тому +70

      Dude was saving his fortitude since he was a teenager

    • @frickedupfrenchcat6372
      @frickedupfrenchcat6372 3 роки тому +6

      Haha Infographic Show

    • @Sarah12471
      @Sarah12471 2 роки тому +7

      @sourcreampringles Or is both Irish and Scottish

  • @AnthonyHernandez-tr4sl
    @AnthonyHernandez-tr4sl 6 місяців тому +4

    We still miss you man. I loved to 2 new videos you put out can't wait to see more. I come back and just rewatch the videos regularly and laugh just as hard. Can't wait to see the next.

  • @sqwimpy-4
    @sqwimpy-4 2 роки тому +23

    3:03 *Meet the demoman*

  • @clockworx7689
    @clockworx7689 4 роки тому +1810

    2:42 that is Malloy’s liver to actual scale
    The man was all liver

    • @nickelmuncher
      @nickelmuncher 4 роки тому +32

      That's an Irish man for ya!

    • @clarissarojas7959
      @clarissarojas7959 4 роки тому +58

      Just like how Tarrare was all stomach

    • @CallenderMan
      @CallenderMan 4 роки тому +19

      Just like the Demoman from tf2

    • @darkyoumemento5307
      @darkyoumemento5307 4 роки тому +4

      His man's wasn't Oliver, it was Michael

    • @CallenderMan
      @CallenderMan 4 роки тому +4

      Melanie Yadgar eh, a bit of a stretch but I appreciate the dad joke regardless

  • @bulletbill1104
    @bulletbill1104 6 років тому +1592

    The virgin bartender vs THE CHAD MALLOY

  • @zeebeeplayz
    @zeebeeplayz Рік тому +6

    This man is the real life equivalent of that one dnd friend who keeps doing dumb things but succeeding in all his saving throws.

  • @vietnamgamer9490
    @vietnamgamer9490 2 місяці тому +1

    1:30 that joke lives in my head 24/7. Constantly. 6 years later and I had to hunt down this video and figure out where the hell it came from. Bless you Sam.

  • @reddarrick3921
    @reddarrick3921 6 років тому +4134

    top 10 overpowered anime characters

    • @Wickerboker
      @Wickerboker 6 років тому +52

      "The Gang Deploys A Ploy To Destroy That Unemployed Malloy" *THEME MUSIC PLAYS

    • @lelgie601
      @lelgie601 6 років тому +2

      Jonathan Reyes *too

    • @twofeathers7834
      @twofeathers7834 6 років тому +1

      Alpyroll no.

    • @lightningstrike6398
      @lightningstrike6398 5 років тому +1

      No he's just got that Irish blood in him

    • @KosTis
      @KosTis 5 років тому +1

      Za guret depureshon

  • @theCodyReeder
    @theCodyReeder 6 років тому +23343

    All the alcohol he drank is probably what kept him from being blinded by the methanol.

    • @lir207
      @lir207 6 років тому +1407

      My god, what a find. Immense delight to find a favorite channel enjoying this stuff.

    • @koolfoolhost1
      @koolfoolhost1 6 років тому +810

      Cody'sLab exactly what I thought, it's ironic how getting drunk can actually save your life

    • @dallen3000
      @dallen3000 6 років тому +212

      holy fuck, Cody is here. i liked your comment and didn't even realize it was you.

    • @SoylentGamer
      @SoylentGamer 6 років тому +502

      Yeah that's actually how they treat methanol poisoning in the hospital

    • @arhanbcey7292
      @arhanbcey7292 6 років тому +164

      And freezing to death alchol gives you tempreture i think so at least

  • @UnderTheLuxury
    @UnderTheLuxury 9 місяців тому +4

    Welcome to The Salty Spitoon~
    How Tough Are Ya¿
    "More Carpet Tacks Please"

  • @user-gi8pk9uc7q
    @user-gi8pk9uc7q 9 місяців тому +4

    Those guys were such idiots to think that the insurance companies wouldn't be suspicious!

  • @botep5529
    @botep5529 4 роки тому +8752

    Malloy and Tarrare could be the first members of the weird humans extended universe.
    Edit* Who woulda thunk my most liked post was about two freaks of nature starting a film series.

    • @diolight9450
      @diolight9450 4 роки тому +410

      Now imagine making a clone from Malloy's and Tarrare's DNA

    • @marvmurchins5355
      @marvmurchins5355 4 роки тому +251

      Roblox Nublet *Jesus Christ no*

    • @devilconcrete2699
      @devilconcrete2699 4 роки тому +307

      The unstoppable force and the immovable object

    • @vaxel6873
      @vaxel6873 4 роки тому +140

      Add Timothy Dexter and you got an unstoppable team.

    • @LevatekGaming
      @LevatekGaming 4 роки тому +107

      Roblox Nublet throw abit of Rasputin DNA in there and you’ve got a literal superhuman

  • @sadlad1410
    @sadlad1410 4 роки тому +9162

    Malloy: **drinks literal poison**
    Malloy: ight, imma head out.

    • @diabetes1191
      @diabetes1191 4 роки тому +72

      Also Big Mick with the Mega d*ck: Aight imma head back in

    • @ScroogeMcWill
      @ScroogeMcWill 4 роки тому +23

      bruh as my dinner once said: HELP ME

    • @croy1222
      @croy1222 4 роки тому +33

      ra ra rasputin..

    • @YoungOddo
      @YoungOddo 4 роки тому +9

      bing bong he could preach the bible like a preacher

    • @valdemarhoejlund6506
      @valdemarhoejlund6506 4 роки тому +6

      But he also was the kind of teacher

  • @Dr_Brown_Bro
    @Dr_Brown_Bro 2 роки тому +4

    A movie needs to be made of this.

  • @vincentcampbell8314
    @vincentcampbell8314 2 роки тому +8

    “Smells like the crevice behind an unwashed ear.”
    Me: *”Write that down, write that down! We can use that-“*

  • @bob69711
    @bob69711 4 роки тому +18728

    I love how the new animation frame for the word "Irish" is just adding a 2nd bottle of beer to his other hand

    • @Mad-Dog-Majima
      @Mad-Dog-Majima 3 роки тому +404

      As an Irish, I can back this up as true

    • @maisiemaisie123
      @maisiemaisie123 3 роки тому +149

      @@Mad-Dog-Majima I agree, I'm Irish too

    • @maisiemaisie123
      @maisiemaisie123 3 роки тому +82

      As an Irish person, I agree with this video

    • @4skintim962
      @4skintim962 3 роки тому +50

      I can also confirm this

    • @Bigbaymonstermare
      @Bigbaymonstermare 3 роки тому +91

      I love that all of your names begins with “O’”. There’s that joke that goes, “how many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?........none”
      I kid because I love, Irish are great people!

  • @marvelgeek9577
    @marvelgeek9577 3 роки тому +3440

    This story would totally work as an episode of It’s Always Sunny
    “The Gang commits life insurance fraud”

    • @morganjones4910
      @morganjones4910 3 роки тому +74

      Michael reminds me of cricket

    • @red__guy
      @red__guy 3 роки тому +13

      Too perfect!

    • @Doop_A_Derp
      @Doop_A_Derp 3 роки тому +5

      Fooking underated

    • @itshammertime4297
      @itshammertime4297 3 роки тому +79

      "Mac kills his dad"
      Bill ponderosa decides to drink himself to death and the gang pull out life insurance on him

    • @paolovallejo8022
      @paolovallejo8022 3 роки тому +9

      @@itshammertime4297 indeed, good eye sir

  • @andrean-silas1085
    @andrean-silas1085 Рік тому +5

    (3:23) The reason he survived that is because shortly thereafter Malloy was rescued by police who took him to a homeless charity where he was re-clothed
    (Allegedly..)

  • @NFueL
    @NFueL Рік тому +2

    Man maxed out his endurance stat.

  • @Kpsla
    @Kpsla 3 роки тому +5044

    The most incredible part of this story is how he not only took these attempts on his life like a champ but kept coming back for more.

  • @the711devin4
    @the711devin4 5 років тому +2718

    “Hello this is the morgue”
    “Hey... any new bodies come in today?”
    *hangs up*

    • @blakejames9743
      @blakejames9743 5 років тому +138

      Tarrare will remember that.

    • @Great_Olaf5
      @Great_Olaf5 4 роки тому +6

      Morino family mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em.

  • @rachelschock8574
    @rachelschock8574 2 роки тому +12

    This story becomes even funnier when you realize that the guys could’ve possibly easily gotten away with the murder if they had just said Malloy killed himself.

    • @TheRavenofSin
      @TheRavenofSin 2 роки тому

      Or just said there was a gas leak.

    • @rachelschock8574
      @rachelschock8574 2 роки тому

      @@TheRavenofSin that wouldn’t explain why the gas line was in his mouth with a towel wrapped around it.

    • @TheRavenofSin
      @TheRavenofSin 2 роки тому +3

      @@rachelschock8574 I doubt they brought the body there with the hose still in his mouth.

    • @rachelschock8574
      @rachelschock8574 2 роки тому

      @@TheRavenofSin The police or whoever would’ve seen it when they arrived to take the body to the morgue or something.

    • @TheRavenofSin
      @TheRavenofSin 2 роки тому +4

      @@rachelschock8574 They're the ones who reported the death. Why would they not remove the hose and towel before then?

  • @Leatherargento
    @Leatherargento 10 місяців тому +2

    Malloy really had a great attitude about life! I wish I could be that positive and energetic after literally being run over.

  • @outsidehistorian7436
    @outsidehistorian7436 3 роки тому +1268

    A Frenchman, A German, and an Italian are sitting at a bar when an Irishman walks in...

  • @Grand-pr6kj
    @Grand-pr6kj 6 років тому +360

    "We deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy"

    • @nottoday5773
      @nottoday5773 6 років тому +15

      “Shut up.”

    • @burdy2959
      @burdy2959 6 років тому +14

      That line played just as soon as I read this

  • @thefbiman2116
    @thefbiman2116 2 роки тому +5

    I'm starting to think he knew exactly what they were up to, which makes this story that much more hilarious

  • @Name-jb7kw
    @Name-jb7kw Рік тому +8

    This guy could've been the next step in human evolution

  • @obseed3041
    @obseed3041 4 роки тому +1744

    Maybe Malloy was actually _death_ being bored of his job and planned this elaborate shit to eventually lead the three guys to their shocking deaths.

  • @kermitsewerside
    @kermitsewerside 6 років тому +1559

    "and till next time"
    guess i'm camping here for the next six weeks

    • @jacke6054
      @jacke6054 6 років тому +2

      kermit sewerside 😂😂😂😂

    • @mercury6025
      @mercury6025 6 років тому +3

      kermit sewerside you won't be alone my friend. . .

    • @samanthaperatsakis6341
      @samanthaperatsakis6341 6 років тому +1

      Same

    • @Mr6Sinner
      @Mr6Sinner 6 років тому +1

      I ruined it; I got like number 667.

    • @Radishals
      @Radishals 6 років тому +1

      That profile pic tho

  • @kingnestor3240
    @kingnestor3240 9 місяців тому +1

    I revisit this channel every once awhile and it maked me laugh each time

  • @amanzo6222
    @amanzo6222 Рік тому +3

    The fact that I can no longer imagine certain historical characters as anything but his drawing is both scary and amazing

  • @Rukir
    @Rukir 6 років тому +9820

    with tarrares appetite and michals uncanny ability to drink anything they'd be an unstoppable tag team

    • @kenfleischman
      @kenfleischman 6 років тому +401

      In the words of Ryback, "FEED THEM MORE".

    • @fuzzytheduck6821
      @fuzzytheduck6821 6 років тому +450

      Add a pinch of Diogenes for intelligence

    • @-dash.
      @-dash. 6 років тому +242

      Rukir And the endurance of that "MOAR WEIGHT" guy

    • @poke2981
      @poke2981 6 років тому +104

      -Dash. Then have them fuse into a demon love child

    • @jackfrager2542
      @jackfrager2542 6 років тому +67

      Please no America would become the new Africa

  • @legendaryfella3236
    @legendaryfella3236 5 років тому +5352

    Top 5 overpowered anime characters
    5. Fidel Castro
    4. Daniel Dancer
    3. Giles Corey
    2. Tararre
    1. Micheal Malloy

    • @iainballas
      @iainballas 5 років тому +61

      Where's Shaggy?

    • @zug9466
      @zug9466 5 років тому +142

      Iain Ballas Malloy is capable of beating him easily.

    • @jacobmichalski196
      @jacobmichalski196 5 років тому +78

      Rasputin?

    • @legendaryfella3236
      @legendaryfella3236 5 років тому +134

      Rasputin is indeed powerful and his ability to survive several gunshots is impressive however it was outmatched by Fidel Castro’s MILK

    • @GameyRaccoon
      @GameyRaccoon 5 років тому +25

      No diogenes

  • @TCBE
    @TCBE 3 місяці тому +1

    dude im just now realizing i havent watched every sam o’ nella video so now i can binge the ones i didnt watch and its like a new experience for me

  • @mueezadam8438
    @mueezadam8438 Рік тому +5

    Micheal Malloy is the epitome of Irish resilience.

  • @westcrook2718
    @westcrook2718 6 років тому +583

    *Gets Nuked*
    Crawls back to the bar

  • @GrudgeyCable
    @GrudgeyCable 3 роки тому +5377

    Fun fact: ethanol (alcohol) is actually a remedy for methanol (wood alcohol). It sits in the same receptors in the liver and is broken down into similar enzymes. Hence if Malloy had drank a lot of normal alcohol when or before he drank the wood alcohol it would have had either no or much less effect because those receptors were already occupied by the ethanol. Probably why he didn’t croke than... or he’s just an absolute bad ass take your pick lolz.

    • @alexia3552
      @alexia3552 2 роки тому +487

      Okay it's good to know there's an actual medical explanation because that was too weird to pass over

    • @yuckfou514
      @yuckfou514 2 роки тому +42

      Nah. He was just Irish. That's the most logical explanation there. Irish people have alcohol in their blood instead of plasma.

    • @GrudgeyCable
      @GrudgeyCable 2 роки тому +12

      @@yuckfou514 xD

    • @azelfdaboi5265
      @azelfdaboi5265 2 роки тому +258

      Man also ate a tack sandwich so he's just fuckin juggernaut

    • @someflatsoda9879
      @someflatsoda9879 2 роки тому +280

      He survived extreme hypothermia, getting run over by a car twice, and took an hour to suffocate on a gas line
      Malloy was physically indestructible

  • @8b0i21
    @8b0i21 2 роки тому

    God, i swear i dont know anymore how many times i keep rewatching sams videos

  • @cinders5305
    @cinders5305 2 роки тому +6

    I swear stories like this sound like the set up for an insane as shit RPG
    Sir Timothy Dexter-+10 Luck
    Lord Joshua Norton-+10 Charisma
    Iron Mike Malloy-+10 Durability
    Diogenes the Cynic-+10 Intelligence
    And secret character Tarrare with the bonus perk, Gut of Steel

  • @okokisafuckingloser6298
    @okokisafuckingloser6298 4 роки тому +3248

    Thanos: I’m the strongest being in the universe
    Some random 60 year old Irish dude: Hold my methanol

    • @georgy2596
      @georgy2596 4 роки тому +10

      Apparently, according to a reply, alcohol acts as a antidote

    • @datorangutan2696
      @datorangutan2696 3 роки тому +12

      @@georgy2596 He was run over by a car twice and froze

    • @besquareorbethere2680
      @besquareorbethere2680 3 роки тому +16

      He also ate a sandvich made of rotten fish and carpenter nails.
      Madlad can survive the snap probably.

    • @SharkOSix
      @SharkOSix 3 роки тому +2

      @@besquareorbethere2680 thanos would need to do the cha cha real smooth

    • @gairisiuil
      @gairisiuil 3 роки тому +4

      bruh you missed the biggest opportunity to just say "hold my beer"

  • @Adam-de8jm
    @Adam-de8jm 6 років тому +2189

    What if it was just a different hobo every time

  • @meowdy3362
    @meowdy3362 Рік тому +2

    my grandma did indeed like the solitaire joke

  • @AkaLxndon1
    @AkaLxndon1 2 роки тому +3

    sam didn’t leave. we just graduated sam o nella academy

  • @Dimelo.R
    @Dimelo.R 6 років тому +464

    Michael Malloy
    A weapon to surpass Metal Gear

  • @LKNear
    @LKNear 6 років тому +2044

    This guy was harder to kill than an anime protagonist

    • @namingisdifficult408
      @namingisdifficult408 6 років тому +7

      Bazzralic exactly

    • @majorblitz3846
      @majorblitz3846 6 років тому +19

      and Once You Finally Kill Him, You Realized all of Your Plan Is Get Exposed and The every Previous Attempt was for Nothing.

    • @brandonm3076869
      @brandonm3076869 6 років тому +2

      Nate River thanks for blessing this comment section

    • @deadnardo2289
      @deadnardo2289 6 років тому +1

      Nate River He IS an anime character!

    • @yaboy2588
      @yaboy2588 6 років тому +3

      which means hes harder to kill than Natsu fucking Natsu

  • @greateagle8799
    @greateagle8799 10 місяців тому +1

    This is like a real life Always Sunny cricket episode

  • @Elzrydo
    @Elzrydo 3 роки тому +27719

    The virgin Rasputin v.s. The chad Michael Malloy

    • @JustAnotherZoomer
      @JustAnotherZoomer 3 роки тому +989

      Rasputin is his past life
      *big brain*

    • @dnolan.
      @dnolan. 3 роки тому +468

      Rasputin in his current life.
      Biggest brain

    • @antares946
      @antares946 3 роки тому +188

      rasputin
      (tier 1 ascended brain)

    • @anonymousonion551
      @anonymousonion551 3 роки тому +493

      Rasputin didn't die, he just evolved into Malloy like a pokemon

    • @trashstorage1468
      @trashstorage1468 3 роки тому +303

      @@anonymousonion551
      Pokémon : Mike Malloy
      Type: Irish
      Strength: Alcohol
      Weakness: None
      HP: 999999999
      Attacks:
      - Da police: 1/3 chance of instantly knocking out the last Pokémon to attack him
      - Heavy drinking: Every active Pokémon that has attacked Mike Malloy has a 1/2 chance of becoming asleep
      Special ability:
      - Blood of the Irish: Any alcohol type attack on your Pokémon can be absorbed by Mike Malloy. He takes no damage.
      - Unkillable: Any attack on Mike Malloy has a 95% chance of failing.

  • @laughsatchungus1461
    @laughsatchungus1461 3 роки тому +26219

    The fact that he drank like 60 shots of pure wood alcohol and didn’t die immediately is literally terrifying

  • @carbonreptile5437
    @carbonreptile5437 11 місяців тому +1

    the detail of Malloy gaining another bottle of alcohol when he said "Irish" really got for some reason

  • @LeetHaxxor
    @LeetHaxxor 11 місяців тому +1

    Gotta love how Kreisberg never changes his facial expression at any point.

  • @TheEvilCommenter
    @TheEvilCommenter 6 років тому +345

    "Hey kids"
    DEMONETIZED!

    • @MrStrepsilz
      @MrStrepsilz 6 років тому +2

      TheEvilCommenter He-
      DEMONETIZED

  • @mettatonneo1147
    @mettatonneo1147 4 роки тому +4942

    1:17 “I say we deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy.”
    “Shut up.”

    • @frunklebunk
      @frunklebunk 4 роки тому +175

      "...anyway go on."

    • @TheMacNilly
      @TheMacNilly 4 роки тому +96

      This rhyme scheme impressed the hell out of me lol

    • @sebasdavis8081
      @sebasdavis8081 4 роки тому +13

      Thank you for reminding of that part

    • @REMIREZZ
      @REMIREZZ 4 роки тому +28

      Reminds me of Bojack Horseman!

    • @lewlew984
      @lewlew984 4 роки тому +8

      Yes... that’s what happened in the video.... what was the point of this comment?

  • @rus.t
    @rus.t Рік тому +2

    Malloy actually pulled a Prestige

  • @christopherellis2663
    @christopherellis2663 Рік тому +1

    Such a charming story, just like the old TV show

  • @saint1333
    @saint1333 6 років тому +1212

    An alcoholic *puts drink in hand*
    And an Irishman *puts another drink in hand*

  • @alexmartin6517
    @alexmartin6517 5 років тому +809

    He probably had like 18 kidneys

    • @vitalnutrients744
      @vitalnutrients744 5 років тому +23

      Livers*

    • @austin2787
      @austin2787 5 років тому +50

      18 kidneys, 5 and a half livers and another 9 hearts. All Irish of course

    • @epicwarredpanda0155
      @epicwarredpanda0155 5 років тому +10

      and red hair, blue eyes and, four leaf clovers tattooed all over him

    • @transnewt
      @transnewt 5 років тому +2

      @@epicwarredpanda0155
      A leprechaun?

    • @epicwarredpanda0155
      @epicwarredpanda0155 5 років тому +2

      @@transnewt yeth

  • @realmcarthy
    @realmcarthy Рік тому +2

    malloy is immortal, he transcends this species.

  • @larissahonda3053
    @larissahonda3053 2 роки тому +1

    i recently listened to a podcast with this story and immediately remembered you
    it is so sad he actually died in the end :(

  • @everestismad2560
    @everestismad2560 5 років тому +2130

    "There Are 60 Year Olds Who Bite the Dust Just from One Wrong Step in the Shower, let alone the Force of a Half Ton of Steel going 50 miles an hour"
    Dang Sam got some bars.

    • @calamar1e320
      @calamar1e320 4 роки тому +41

      *BARS*

    • @nolanpostal7540
      @nolanpostal7540 4 роки тому +26

      Right when I read this he said it

    • @andresgarza6565
      @andresgarza6565 4 роки тому +13

      Lmao thought this was my comment when I saw the pfp

    • @XXStrong1
      @XXStrong1 4 роки тому +4

      Watch his accountant rap to see his full lyrical potential.

    • @Jerbod2
      @Jerbod2 4 роки тому +13

      Why Do You Capitilise Every Other Word Like This You Fucking Maniac