The Tale of Michael Malloy
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- Опубліковано 19 січ 2018
- I used the Smithsonian's account of this as my main reference so if you have some beef about somewhere else giving slightly different details, take it up with them
Check out my other channel, Sam O'Nella Vlog!
/ @samonellavlog2445
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Intro and outro song:
"Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
Had me dead when he asked for another sandwich lmao
Imagine getting all of your fingers chopped,and saying
"Do that again lol"
Didn't have him dead, though.
That sandwich killed the wrong guy
“Motherfucker asks for another”
@James Bolton uoy teab em ot ti
Humans have two modes.
1. *Slips in the shower and dies*
2. *Gets ran over twice and comes waltzing in*
We can survive nuclear fallout
But oh boy beware of *_Stairs_*
You stole this comment but okay
@@foserk7063 shush, every meme is stolen, this comment itself is a meme
900th like
With how I treat my body I'll probably be the first mode
I like how the plan went from “hey let’s make money off his death” to “aight let’s try using the car. He can’t survive a car.”
I know right? It's like their motives went from making money off of him to literally just trying to see if they could figure out a way to actually kill him and it's beautiful
xD
And then he survived the car
And came back with no recollection of them running him over…. Twice
huh
He gained a life for every person he saved as a firefighter
Yes
Canon
"you, you saved me!"
"Silence child, as a drain your life force"
The only posible theory crazy enough to be canon
well he should've saved just 1 more and they would've moved on
This is a homeless version of rasputin
Mom I want rasputin
Void Helicopter we have Rasputin at home
@@richardgibson8403 Rasputin at home:
They fricking did it
24kelvin Irish Rasputin.
Tarrare: Mega stomach
Ubre Blanca: Mega milk
Malloy: Mega Liver
Timothy Dexter: Mega luck with business
@@lego_grandmasteryoda6874 merge them all and you have the ultimate lifeform.
Malloy can recover really fast
Man with the immortal liver
@@SorowFame Give them a stone mask with the red stone of aja and we’re all doomed
According to Wikipedia, one of his nicknames was legitimately "The Juggernaut". Also, apparently he was so well known to the cops that THEY were the ones who questioned Iron Mike's "death by pneumonia" and had the body exhumed and studied
The “Juggernaut” title was added as a nod to this video, as were other parts of the article like the motherfucker quote.
@@Wildcat12 Where
@@AceOfBlackjack wikipedia
@@AceOfBlackjack this may be 3months ago but its literally the 3rd word bruh
"I'm the Juggernaut bitch"
-Michael Malloy
I feel towards the end they stopped caring about the money they just wanted to know if he could die
hahahah
Hahahah
Accurate
And then they died
- Irishman
- Kill with alcohol
"orb effect does not stack"
to quote the video: "Oh, I like that joke!"
Hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahah
*DID YOU SUMMON ME*
@@orbcat1790 *MY BRETHREN!*
@@orbcat1790 what reference joke is this
“Deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy” thats bars
“Shut up”
“Anyways go on”
Very bojack
on some bojack shit
Lol
I was half expecting Sam to say something like "after surviving being hit by a car twice, Malloy was shot 5 times with a pistol, he showed up the next day with a limp, finally showing some signs of mortality"
Isn't one of his nicknames the "Irish Rasputin"?
@@beefyblom russian malloy
@@beefyblom Rasputin died as easily as any other man, Mike was a god.
I didn’t hear no bell
Oh
Some extra tidbits not mentioned in the video (courtesy of Wikipedia).
In addition to methanol, they also gave him shots of antifreeze, turpentine, horse liniment, and fucking rat poison.
Malloy was saved from freezing to death by police, who brought him to a homeless shelter to recover.
Apparently, Malloy was a subject of gossip around speakeasies, due to his seeming inhuman resilience. In fact, by some accounts, this is how the murder was discovered: police had overheard rumors of the unkillable Michael Malloy, and when they received word of his death, they got suspicious and dug up his body for examination.
By some accounts, there was an additional party to the murder: a Dr. Frank Manzella, who falsely pronounced Malloy dead of pneumonia. After the crime was discovered, Manzella was imprisoned as an accessory to murder.
The dudes: you have a lot of nerve being alive
Malloy: i'm pretty sure i don't have nerves anymore.
Not sure why, but this hit me so hard I nearly choked on my water.
@@facelessmiasma4664 so did the car for Malloy
Man just pulled a life hack and removed his vital organs from his body so they wouldn't get damaged
I feel that
He was Alcoholic *draws a beer*
He was also irish *draws another beer*
And a former firefighter *pastes Steve Buscemi's head*
As a proud irishman I am deeply offended
he should of had at least three more beers. four if he was catholic
doctor death defying i couldnt agree more
yeah, way too little for his nationality
At least he wasn't married.
The line itself plus the delivery of "let's deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy" makes me crack up time and time again
The "shut up" line fucking gets me
I like how Sam doesn’t tell us how he survived just to make sure we felt the same way as Marino. He survived the methanol since they’d give him regular alcohol and then after a few shots give him methanol, but ethanol naturally bonds to methanol which makes it no longer poisonous. As for getting hit with the car, two police officers found him soon after and took him to a hospital
Then what the hell was the sandwhich
@@exotic1405 just has fuckin strong teeth and strong stomach flesh.
ethanol and methanol do not bind - they are just metabolized by the same parts in the liver. Methanol itself is not very poisnous but the enzyme "alcohol dehydrogenase" turns methanol into formaldehyde and then formic acid, which are way more toxic. By having excess ethanol, the methanol is actually prevented from being metabolized and is instead largely passed through. Same goes for the anti-freeze they tried to kill him with too.
@@exotic1405probably just threw it up later
@@kattastic9999 Yeah, given that level of alcoholism he was likely throwing up fairly regularly. So the damage POTENTIALLY could have been minimal. (Also don't try ANY of this at home kids)
People: Rasputin the unkillable
Malloy: hold my alcohol, antifreeze, turpentine, rat poison, and this funky tasting sandwich
Alex Lestrange Rasputin the immortal Russian and Malloy the immortal Irishman
Tammy Martel The immortal Irishman actually. Malloy I mean.
SimeonDoesStuff BG changed, thanks!
Yep.
Sans: wtf u eat more than ketchup out the bottle
The thing is, Rasputin's case is pure exaggeration and unverifiable, while motherfucking Mike Malloy's durability is a confirmed fact.
Also, he reportedly told Marino after eating the sardine sandwich that his cooking was first-class, and that he should open a restaurant.
That was so mean smothering his face like with gas like that.
Maybe he knew and anti-poisoned himself just to piss them off....
No wait that’s stupid. He’s just some fucking monstrosity
@@calebmurray4438 ok
@@calebmurray4438 ok
The fact that I knew about this obscure person in history prior to watching this is potentially problematic
Yup
😂😂😂😆😆
I love the implication that everyone knows about the Hindenburg disaster despite that event being five years in the future
Malloy: **drinks literal poison**
Malloy: ight, imma head out.
Also Big Mick with the Mega d*ck: Aight imma head back in
bruh as my dinner once said: HELP ME
ra ra rasputin..
bing bong he could preach the bible like a preacher
But he also was the kind of teacher
“Hello this is the morgue”
“Hey... any new bodies come in today?”
*hangs up*
Tarrare will remember that.
Morino family mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em.
3:14 this part always kills me
"Motherfucker asks for another."
That's good, because it surely didn't kill him.
It's great because Sam swears so rarely
The reference to Steve Buscemi when it was mentioned Malloy was a former firefighter is hilarious! Buscemi was also once a firefighter in NYC. He actually went to his firehouse, to work with his old Ladder company as a 1st responder, after the 9/11 terror attacks. He didn't do it for publicity, praise, or attention, didn't tell anyone from the news, or from show business, or anyone that tipnoff the wider world. There is at least one photo of him sitting on the Company truck, though, all of them were covered in ash, soot, dirt, blood (presumably, it was a wide shot), but he never sought recognition. He's a bona fide hero.
Malloy: f-ing drinks literal death juice
Malloy: tasty, another please
They cut the methanol with real alcohol, which happens to be the cure for methanol poisoning
@@olliegoria Wait am I stupid what does cut the methanol with real alcohol mean
@@skylerkishikawa2327 They mixed methanol, or wood alcohol, with drinkable liquor, which cures methanol poisoning.
Basically they were diluting the poison with the cure.
@@olliegoria Thank you for explaining
More like "tasty fifty more shots please."
Killing an Irish man with alcohol.
Someone forgot to do their research.
odd sock it's 223 likes now (your welcome)
XDDD
King Gaming It's "you're" (your welcome) Oh wait...damnit
LOOL. I'm Irish and that made me laugh.
odd sock that and it's ironic
Oh wait, it's not, nvm
ok something I found out from reading the Wikipedia page is that Sam skipped a few steps between regular alcohol and wood alcohol. the most interesting to me is they tried giving him ANTIFREEZE which he chugged down no problem, probably because all the alcohol in his system stopped it from being absorbed by the liver. This detail might help explain all of the other poisons failing as well
Also, the 5 men had a doctor sign the original death certificate and had him buried quickly, but when local police heard he died they were just like "No fucking way THAT guy died" and had him exhumed and reexamined. This was when they found that there was something up
Counter argument, the man was Irish, meaning all science is out the window and his liver is made of solid titanium and has a thirst for alcohol so great that he just doesn’t die.
I know for a fact that the antidote for methanol is ethanol. So the idea "It didn't work because he had a lot of alcohol already" isn't far fetched
4:11 thats an understatement honestly
“Motherfucker asks for another”
He is the reason why Guinness World Records was created
3:15
I swear i dont laugh often because of a video....
But this made me cry at 4am, waking the whole neighborhood
MrLoger3 sure you did
Was looking for this!
Malloy: Is murdered.
Also Malloy: Y'know what, do that again.
Haven’t died yet
@Mathieu Galante hold up, *what?*
I'm your 1.4000th like
Marino: Finally, Malloy is dead, we can get that money
Malloy: Hey I could use some of that money too
I hear no bell
Best part is they spent around half of the equivalent to their insurance claim trying to kill him from the costs of the drinks, chemicals, and bribes, also if they'd bothered to pay to have him embalmed properly they wouldn't of gotten caught cause his body wouldn't of had the signs he was gassed to death
The "mf asked for another" if my fav part and I ended up watching this month's later and still having a great time with that line
1:17 “I say we deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy.”
“Shut up.”
"...anyway go on."
This rhyme scheme impressed the hell out of me lol
Thank you for reminding of that part
Reminds me of Bojack Horseman!
Yes... that’s what happened in the video.... what was the point of this comment?
top 10 overpowered anime characters
"The Gang Deploys A Ploy To Destroy That Unemployed Malloy" *THEME MUSIC PLAYS
Jonathan Reyes *too
Alpyroll no.
No he's just got that Irish blood in him
Za guret depureshon
“Oh I like that joke” is the best part of my day
You have to feel bad for Michael Malloy, he was basically tortured and given near fatal injuries multiple times. Not to mention he was a homeless ex-firefighter, he likely had a very tough life
*Gets Nuked*
Crawls back to the bar
Hey smooth skin, gimme another drink.
WestCrook gets sent into space
Uses the force to float back into spaceship
I don’t think that’s how the comment was supposed to look
Orders a radioactive keg.
Thanos: I’m the strongest being in the universe
Some random 60 year old Irish dude: Hold my methanol
Apparently, according to a reply, alcohol acts as a antidote
@@georgy2596 He was run over by a car twice and froze
He also ate a sandvich made of rotten fish and carpenter nails.
Madlad can survive the snap probably.
@@besquareorbethere2680 thanos would need to do the cha cha real smooth
bruh you missed the biggest opportunity to just say "hold my beer"
The “oh I like that joke” granny kills me 💀
We still miss you man. I loved to 2 new videos you put out can't wait to see more. I come back and just rewatch the videos regularly and laugh just as hard. Can't wait to see the next.
"We deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy"
“Shut up.”
That line played just as soon as I read this
The virgin bartender vs THE CHAD MALLOY
BulletBill110 I feel like I know you from somewhere
This Comment is fucking legendary
After the sandwich I’d just assume he’s immortal 💀
Welcome to The Salty Spitoon~
How Tough Are Ya¿
"More Carpet Tacks Please"
-He was an alcoholic
*draws a bottle in his hand*
-Irish
*draws an another bottle in his other hand*
i mean he wasn't _wrong_
Szentesi Lázár accurate
Trying to kill an Irishman with alcohol is like trying to drown a fish...
You can actually drown most fish, just put them in the opposite water type (salt or fresh) from what they're supposed to be in.
Ginger McGingin shut up
@@gingermcgingin1733 That doesn't so much kill them by drowning as it does fuck with their internal salt levels, killing them. Putting a freshwater fish in the ocean is like force feeding someone salt.
You can, however, kill a fish by putting it in water that is the appropriate salinity but has had all the disolved oxygen in removed, though that is more akin to suffocating someone with nitrogen than anything else, but fuck it, close enough.
deathtamer666 ah yes water, N2O
Fish can drown as long as the water isnt oxygenated
I revisit this channel every once awhile and it maked me laugh each time
dude im just now realizing i havent watched every sam o’ nella video so now i can binge the ones i didnt watch and its like a new experience for me
“He was around 60 years old” *adds wrinkles*
“Homeless” *adds background*
“Alcoholic” *adds beer bottle*
“Irish” *adds another beer bottle*
Chicken Nuggets I don’t see anything wrong with that description
"and a former firefighter" makes him Steve buscemi
ᏚᎪᎷᏌᎡᎪᏆ ᏟᏌᏟᏌᎷᏴᎬᎡ Steve was a firefighter back in the 80s
@@ihatefortnightgivemeareaso5659 I heard
@Lisa McIntosh samurai cucumber already said that
"He was about 60"
**makes him look old**
"Homeless"
**Draws him on a street**
"An alcoholic"
**Draws a beer in his hand**
"Irish"
**Draws a second beer in his hand**
Robo Boi *Makes him look like Steve Buscemi*
Jarno Datema yeah? So was Steve buscemi
@@coromo4978 *Correct*
@@coromo4978 As an Irish bitch, I can confirm that my grandpa loves beer and other alcohols.
Double irish
1:30 that joke lives in my head 24/7. Constantly. 6 years later and I had to hunt down this video and figure out where the hell it came from. Bless you Sam.
God, i swear i dont know anymore how many times i keep rewatching sams videos
I love how the new animation frame for the word "Irish" is just adding a 2nd bottle of beer to his other hand
As an Irish, I can back this up as true
@@Mad-Dog-Majima I agree, I'm Irish too
As an Irish person, I agree with this video
I can also confirm this
I love that all of your names begins with “O’”. There’s that joke that goes, “how many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?........none”
I kid because I love, Irish are great people!
The quote “deployed a ploy to destroy the unemployed Malloy” is on his Wikipedia page.
Bonzane lol
So is the “Motherfucker asks for another” quip.
MadMongol Metalhead they took it off.
Death God They only replaced "Motherfucker".
They actually mention this video on the page in the "Pop culture" section.
3:03 *Meet the demoman*
Thanks. You pleasured every single crevice and orifice of my mind with your jokes, the smartness of your jokes, and the actual educational content of your jokes...
Lovely✌✌
Maybe Malloy was actually _death_ being bored of his job and planned this elaborate shit to eventually lead the three guys to their shocking deaths.
I want this as a tv show
Nice. I got the pun at the end there
Badunce
you had me until you said "shocking"
*UH*
This guy was harder to kill than an anime protagonist
Bazzralic exactly
and Once You Finally Kill Him, You Realized all of Your Plan Is Get Exposed and The every Previous Attempt was for Nothing.
Nate River thanks for blessing this comment section
Nate River He IS an anime character!
which means hes harder to kill than Natsu fucking Natsu
Thank you for sharing this! A Co-worker sent me your youtube link!!! Keep doing what you do!!
This man is the real life equivalent of that one dnd friend who keeps doing dumb things but succeeding in all his saving throws.
The virgin Rasputin v.s. The chad Michael Malloy
Rasputin is his past life
*big brain*
Rasputin in his current life.
Biggest brain
rasputin
(tier 1 ascended brain)
Rasputin didn't die, he just evolved into Malloy like a pokemon
@@anonymousonion551
Pokémon : Mike Malloy
Type: Irish
Strength: Alcohol
Weakness: None
HP: 999999999
Attacks:
- Da police: 1/3 chance of instantly knocking out the last Pokémon to attack him
- Heavy drinking: Every active Pokémon that has attacked Mike Malloy has a 1/2 chance of becoming asleep
Special ability:
- Blood of the Irish: Any alcohol type attack on your Pokémon can be absorbed by Mike Malloy. He takes no damage.
- Unkillable: Any attack on Mike Malloy has a 95% chance of failing.
2:42 that is Malloy’s liver to actual scale
The man was all liver
That's an Irish man for ya!
Just like how Tarrare was all stomach
Just like the Demoman from tf2
His man's wasn't Oliver, it was Michael
Melanie Yadgar eh, a bit of a stretch but I appreciate the dad joke regardless
i recently listened to a podcast with this story and immediately remembered you
it is so sad he actually died in the end :(
“Smells like the crevice behind an unwashed ear.”
Me: *”Write that down, write that down! We can use that-“*
You missed a couple of the best parts: After all the booze (even the wood one) he managed to walk in a straight fucking line. Also when they dumped him in the park he survived and another one of the men in the gang caught a cold.
Pretty sure that was a sign of things to come
I still think the silt are joke it the best with the old lady just saying ohh I like that one
Dude was saving his fortitude since he was a teenager
Haha Infographic Show
@sourcreampringles Or is both Irish and Scottish
"and till next time"
guess i'm camping here for the next six weeks
kermit sewerside 😂😂😂😂
kermit sewerside you won't be alone my friend. . .
Same
I ruined it; I got like number 667.
That profile pic tho
The fact that I can no longer imagine certain historical characters as anything but his drawing is both scary and amazing
I think this may be the single best story ever told
A Frenchman, A German, and an Italian are sitting at a bar when an Irishman walks in...
The bar then promptly closed down.
At least the German's method succeeded
@@konan8182
*O o f*
*The Irishman*
Frenchman?
The thing they didn't consider with their method of poisoning, is that alcohol is one of the ways to treat methanol poisoning. The man was pickled in the cure while he was drinking the poison.
Alan Ball huh that’s cool
Neat
What about the nasty food,
@@arqwn4680 no idea, I only know about the methanol.
Interesting fact, thanks for the info 👍🏾
Bruh I just found this guy and binged all his videos in the last 3 days😂
Literally Sam’s funniest video
I love Malloy
Malloy: eats a sandwich made of rotten sardines and tacks
Also Malloy: *”Finally some good f-ing food”*
How does someone manage to eat tacks and not get impaled at least once
@@user-pi3hd2bt3f Bold of you to assume lead can be impaled
@@user-pi3hd2bt3f no one can destroy the the koi Malloy
It was actually more than just sardines and tacks. They also added in the shredded up sardine can and broken glass. One unconfirmed source even stated that they put in enough rat poison to kill three men, although I’m not sure I trust that one.
That's some gourmet shit
The fact that he drank like 60 shots of pure wood alcohol and didn’t die immediately is literally terrifying
The man could take on Thanos
He was the peak of life
Nice pfp
He is irish after all
Irish people is immune to alcohol
Those guys were such idiots to think that the insurance companies wouldn't be suspicious!
A movie needs to be made of this.
Top 5 overpowered anime characters
5. Fidel Castro
4. Daniel Dancer
3. Giles Corey
2. Tararre
1. Micheal Malloy
Where's Shaggy?
Iain Ballas Malloy is capable of beating him easily.
Rasputin?
Rasputin is indeed powerful and his ability to survive several gunshots is impressive however it was outmatched by Fidel Castro’s MILK
No diogenes
It’s kinda sad to think that Malloy always came back to the same bar, maybe believing that he was gifted drinks, and that the 3 bar guys hang up with him because they liked him. He probably thought he had drinking pals and then they fricking killed him
At least he never knew they were behind it. Woulda been worse if the last thing he knew was "they betrayed me" or whatever
At least his spirit couldve lived in peace laughing his head off
Better than being born with a micro penis. Trust me.
So were all just gonna ignore the fact that they're hanging up with him?
@@longlivegarybusey6409 my condolences
Such a charming story, just like the old TV show
I'm starting to think he knew exactly what they were up to, which makes this story that much more hilarious
I actually feel bad for Malloy, he's just drinking his Acid they poured in to kill him, he takes a nap and they just take him in a room and directly murdered him. That sucks.
I mean he died unconsious and after doing what he liked
@@kirisai7453 yeah but he can't do it anymore, can he?
@@stupit467 still better than feeling pain
If he could feel pain after all that
@@kirisai7453 up to debate
@@stupit467 Better than getting ran over conscious I can promise you that.
Especially since in the story he was dodging the car so he was probably at least a little sober and aware if his surroundings.
"There Are 60 Year Olds Who Bite the Dust Just from One Wrong Step in the Shower, let alone the Force of a Half Ton of Steel going 50 miles an hour"
Dang Sam got some bars.
*BARS*
Right when I read this he said it
Lmao thought this was my comment when I saw the pfp
Watch his accountant rap to see his full lyrical potential.
Why Do You Capitilise Every Other Word Like This You Fucking Maniac
Still one of the greatest stories ever
This story would totally work as an episode of It’s Always Sunny
“The Gang commits life insurance fraud”
Michael reminds me of cricket
Too perfect!
Fooking underated
"Mac kills his dad"
Bill ponderosa decides to drink himself to death and the gang pull out life insurance on him
@@itshammertime4297 indeed, good eye sir
All the alcohol he drank is probably what kept him from being blinded by the methanol.
My god, what a find. Immense delight to find a favorite channel enjoying this stuff.
Cody'sLab exactly what I thought, it's ironic how getting drunk can actually save your life
holy fuck, Cody is here. i liked your comment and didn't even realize it was you.
Yeah that's actually how they treat methanol poisoning in the hospital
And freezing to death alchol gives you tempreture i think so at least
Lmao I love the way you tell these stories, please come back to us
the most hardworking liver in the galaxy
Malloy and Tarrare could be the first members of the weird humans extended universe.
Edit* Who woulda thunk my most liked post was about two freaks of nature starting a film series.
Now imagine making a clone from Malloy's and Tarrare's DNA
Roblox Nublet *Jesus Christ no*
The unstoppable force and the immovable object
Add Timothy Dexter and you got an unstoppable team.
Roblox Nublet throw abit of Rasputin DNA in there and you’ve got a literal superhuman
"He was an alcoholic, Irish"
So you just mean Irish right
Hey, fuck you man...not all us Irish are alcoholics. Plenty of us are perfectly normal FUNCTIONAL alcoholics. There's a big difference.
@Masahiro Sakurai wooosh
Dudeface Everyone reddit get out
@@fcon8507 dude it's a joke and if ur so offended why'd u only hate on this dudes comment the vid made the exact same joke
@@elijahhayes9039 I was offended because I was drunk at the time. Might be drunk now too. Fuck you!
This is most well put together you tube video ever. Dont even fight me about it.
sam didn’t leave. we just graduated sam o nella academy
with tarrares appetite and michals uncanny ability to drink anything they'd be an unstoppable tag team
In the words of Ryback, "FEED THEM MORE".
Add a pinch of Diogenes for intelligence
Rukir And the endurance of that "MOAR WEIGHT" guy
-Dash. Then have them fuse into a demon love child
Please no America would become the new Africa
"Hey kids"
DEMONETIZED!
TheEvilCommenter He-
DEMONETIZED
I must have missed this one! I've never seen it before. Anyway, this is one of the best examples of karma I've ever heard of. Priceless😂
Malloy really had a great attitude about life! I wish I could be that positive and energetic after literally being run over.
Michael Malloy
A weapon to surpass Metal Gear
Undead Trooper indeed
This is probably the best comment ever.
An alcoholic *puts drink in hand*
And an Irishman *puts another drink in hand*
Landon Wray XD LMAO
Landon Wray accurate.
That explains it
I know, right? XDD
False, Irishmen do not hold drinks in their hands long enough for the human eye to detect it. FACT.
I just watched the most inspirational music video as an ad
God, i loved these annals...
i got the bread crumbs
*Yeah but... I got the breadcrumbs*
rosemary But In reality I took them from you 😃