A terrible weakness I used to have in my youth up until my early thirties. I’d meet guys who showed me a bit of attention and boom 💥 I’m smitten 🥰 only to have a bitter end 😢
I have friends that we went to high school with , we were getting together for breakfast once a month, but they stopped, l wanted to continue our get together for breakfast, I’ve moved on too because I’m not 1 to force the issue.
5 Red Flags 1. Mismatched core values 2. Makes you feel butterflies 3. Moves too quickly 4. Inconsistent behavior patterns 5. Leads with negativity So I'm not crazy and difficult to please after all. 😂😂
There are more signs that a man is low value and not worth your time. ua-cam.com/video/CXOjDXkBAd8/v-deo.html You can't fix these flaws ladies so throw him back.
Some other red flags to watch out for is insecurities and possessive over you, anger problems, controlling, these can be signs of an abuser be careful ladies.
Best you can do when it comes to any decision making including chosing your partner: always consult God. He knows all people because He created them. He knows their hearts and know what's the best for us. But unfortunately, one tends to make decision and only then consult God when all is already messed up.
A great partner for you is: Kind, loyal, generous, and make you feel save, he makes you his priority! You are not being difficult, he is just Not the man for you.
In today's era, I think women have over-inflated their self worth. Unfortunately some have even been Alpha Widowed. From the projects, to the prairie, to the penthouse... Average women do NOT want average men. Just because your DMs are "poppin" doesn't mean you're in pole position for marriage or that you're even marriage material.
Another situation is when they are romantic one day but you barely hear from them for the next couple of days. I had an ex like this. He's so used to being by himself and in his own world that he doesn't know how to daily and deeply communicate with someone else consistently.
I think it goes deeper than this. The bottom line is this: whatever you subconsciously believe yourself to be, is who you are and those are the vibes you give off. You will then attract (and/or be attracted to) the person who needs someone like you. You both will be attracted to each other. So, if you are insecure and believe you are inferior in some way, you’ll attract the partner who needs someone like you in order to feel good about themself. If you believe you’re unsteady, or not in control somehow, you’ll attract someone who will take control (and therefore needs someone like you). This is exactly why people keep going through the same relationship patterns and issues. They’re not doing the work and fixing themselves first. You’re insecure and will be attracted to the person who showers you with the attention you crave and will overlook and make excuses about the control tendencies, the verbal hits, or whatever negative characteristics are clearly shown. You need to search yourself and clear up your subconscious baggage first before you go looking for relationship. The subconscious mind is so powerful. It’s running about 95% of your actions. There’s so much more going on…
Once upon a time I met someone who was good on paper, tall, dark, handsome, grand career... but they were a HUGE narcissist; haughty, lacking empathy, only saw others as extensions of themselves, entitled, etc. After a period of "love bombing" they went cold, were all about themselves.... then cheated. Now I'm happily married to someone who is kind, selfless, compromising and I feel safe with them. My ex was like a faberge egg; shiny, eye catching and attractive on the outside, hollow and worthless on the inside.
Thank you! I had a date with a man a few weeks ago and I was thinking "he's great but I don't feel the butterflies". I kept going out with him and it turns out he's an amazing person and just how I need a man to be. I'm so glad I didn't need this feeling anymore ❤
wanting butterflies is a childish desire, no offence, because it never lasts & with familiarity will become boring, which is why 80% of divorces r triggered by women who become 'bored'.
I believe it - 90 days is all it takes 😅 the real them comes out… I have been practicing it for a year now. I learn to enjoy, observe and not to be attach with the outcome. I am much happier now 😅 and will patiently waiting for the one who fits with my core values and lifestyle.
Guys... if a woman tells you she wants a bad boy, what she is really saying is... "I'm emotionally immature and potentially toxic, and/or mentally unstable". You have NOT LOST OUT on a woman who wants a bad boy but you are a good guy. Let her go and don't waste your time!
She wants an adrenaline junkie she’s probably some type of addict borderline or bipolar.. Met many of these dangerous women.. They will get you killed with there Chaos 🆘
The first girl is a walking red flag. In her list of "dream man" she never said kind, humble, or generous but instead started with he has to be over 6ft tall. This is the problem when you go for attraction only. You know what attraction does...it gets you a baby without ever marrying the person.
She confused chemistry with compatibility. Also she wants him a bit bad…street translated bad boy player very attractive to be hers only. Chances are someone like that this would not be her match and she will keep going for the wrong one because that’s her type. You can tell by the way she listened and her facial reactions that she’s been through a lot with this type of individuals.
The issue with narcissistic people is that they are very good actors and can be very cunning. You won't know who you have in bed with you until they have you locked by marriage or kids. I think the main important take away is that at ANY moment in you relationship (doesn't matter what stage you are at), if you feel fear, like you are walking on egg shells, can't express yourself clearly and can't seem to rely on your partner, you need to leave. If abuse of any kind is involved, that is a definite 'LEAVE'.
I think narcissistic people always reveal themselves, we just choose to see what we want to see. We tell ourselves a story, instead of living in reality. If a person never asks about you, don't say, oh but they're so funny, without taking note of the fact that they literally couldn't care less who you are as a person, you are interchangeable with anybody else.. Even little things like, not addressing you by name, in a situation where you would expect to be called by name, these are signs..
@ue2267 you are exactly right!! My husband was a good actor!! Later on in our relationship awhile after we were married that's when his narcissist self came out!! I was like what the heck happened! I said time to go. Alot of times narcissist people don't show there true colors until later on in the relationship.
Red flags: 1.Not being responsible in that relationship. 2.Not providing anything for each other (financially). 3.Lieing character (Cheating). 4.Not being loving & caring.
Perhaps. My husband did that and more. He was the perfect man and guess what, he’s a narcissist. People were so envious of us but they had no idea of the abuse I endured behind closed doors. It took me 16 years but I finally divorced him.
Perhaps. Or perhaps a controlling, manipulative man. Be careful about admiring relationships that you have no clue about. My husband did that and more. He was the perfect man and guess what, he’s a narcissist. People were so envious of us but they had no idea of the abuse I endured behind closed doors. It took me 16 years but I finally divorced him.
THANKS FOR THOSE RED FLAGS WE SHOULD NEVER IGNORE. I WAS TOLD BY MY MOTHER, IF A MAN WERE TRULY IN LOVE WITH YOU, HE WOULD FIND SOMEWAY TO TALK TO YOU. HE WOULD MOVE MOUNTAINS TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP HIM. WISE IN BROOKSVILLE FL.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I don't agree with the 'butterflies' thing being a red flag. 12 yeears after meeting my then-0husband (now deceased) I still had butterflies every time he entered the room. He was a wonderful, kind, funny, intelligent, totally amazing person.
I think what she meant butterflies in the video is a man gives a woman anxiety about what he does, like he hangs out often with other girl, commits dangerous action, violates the law, wastes money non stop...all of that makes woman feel unsafe and can not have a stable relationship
My first 2 questions now going forward are….”are you a Christian?” Do you drink or smoke?!” Any of those I am running away! I’ve been married for 18 years to an alcoholic/narc. I’m so done with demonic people.
if you attract a narcissist, those questions are useless because my ex had the same religion and didn't drink or smoke but he turned out to be worse than someone who drinks and smokes. They usually tell you what you want to hear to get you. After they have you, its a cycle of abuse. Watch how they treat others and you by actions rather than words.
The 3 above comments, WOW!!!! I couldn’t agree more , how could l be fooled so badly, l nothing but REGRETS for marrying this woman a total 360 change once we got married, complain, complain, complain, don’t do this don’t do that, get rid of this- a total big mistake that l made, we are just roommates, l have prayed to GOD for forgiveness for marrying this woman, which is only marriage on paper, l really don’t like to use the word marriage with her or even refer to her as my wife- there is no love here-we’ve gone to marriage counseling, really I’m done if l could leave l would!!!! Again, great above comments I’ve learned a lot from your comments Thanks
Butterflies are normal. It doesn't mean its a red flag in a person. Its just an initial excitement. Just make sure to keep taking it slow. Excitement is ok though. She is actually talking about ANXIETY or an inner and natural alarm going off inside that feels like something is off. There is a major difference in the feeling between the two. Granted, someone with unaddressed trauma might have problems differentiating between the two. The other red flags were great advice.
How very very true, wish I heard all this sbout60 years ago ...my life would have been ssssooo much BETTER. I'm 80 now n feel like I'm learning life all over again ...but this time I'm getting the Right answers !!! Thank you Steve LOVEYA 💞
I firmly believe that you cannot change a person. I have found that some personal changes in yourself can encourage change in your partner, depending on what it is.
@@forbes4007all relationships are a push and pull. Not necessarily in a negative sense, but it's about making compromises, even within yourself. You cannot force change on someone else, without extensive abuse. They have to be the ones to realize, and do the change themselves. For example, your partner refuses to communicate with you, so you decide to withdraw yourself emotionally, instead of feeding into the lack of reliability. You preserve your own self reliability, self care. Hopefully they will follow, and if they continue to ignore your needs, you will be able to leave stronger for it.
I really believe that you cannot change a person the person has to change for the friendship or relationship to work out if truly they love you and wants both you to be happy in the relationship you guys signed up for and not make you have regrets of deciding to with him or her , that's why it's also good to discuss how you both feel in a relationship communication matters alot in a relationship
When I met my boyfriend, we went out four days in a row and quite often after that and he told me he wanted us to be exclusive. That was over a year and a half ago and we’re still together. Sometimes when you meet someone you can tell that you have a connection so it’s not necessarily a bad thing to see them a lot in the beginning.
But also that means you are the exception she is talking about the rule and most women don’t have the time or luxury to have to go through the obstacles that comes with being the rule and not the exception.
In today’s world, it would simply be best to work on SELF. Do not look for happiness and/or stability in anyone else but yourself. Do not admit anyone to your life who isnt able to add to it ( not complete it, not subtract from it and not MaKE your life something you haven’t made it already). You need to make your life what you want it to be. Once you do that, you will attract EVERYTHING . Then you can pick who to admit, but you probably will see how f’d up most people are and decide to remain single and in peace! Good luck!
Never trust anyone 100% which means don’t ever get attached to anyone in a way you can’t unattach yourself should you ever need to. I’ve seen so many legally attached couples end up miserable, and ones who weren’t stay together just as long and when they wanted to part ways it was as friends not with hostility
The difference is you feel more calm and feel at home when you meet the right person, you can be yourself around him Yes you get butterfly but it's different feeling If you always feel anxiety and always feel not good enough for him, it's red flag
#2 is right on point. I always thought having butterflies every time I saw them after years was a good thing. Only until afterwards I realized they always gave me horrendous anxiety.
I disagree about the butterflies. Butterflies just means you're nervous because there's immediate attraction. I'm sure plenty of people who've felt this have gone on to get married.
4;40 I once had that experience I mistook the danger for butterflies I knew something was wrong but I stayed , however I’m glad at some point I found the courage to leave before things got worse .
Speak the truth, brother Steve! I SAW the red flags, but was trained to ignore them. "Butterflies" are kinda funny; not sure which of my organs is responding, and which ones I should listen to. Obsessive is scary. I now know what being "love bombed" means. Dodgy. Yes; too busy or EVASIVE in his answers. I don't demand an explanation. I just stop getting in contact with him. He's not a "mystery" he is being deceptive. OH number five. I went on a date with a perfectly attractive man who spent the whole time talking about who and what he hated. It was a short date. He kept demanding an explanation for WHY I didn't want a second date. *sigh* "You are too full of hate." "What the hell does THAT mean?" *click* Blocked. I want a man who loves what he does, and does what he loves. An honest man; one who understands being human. And who values love and humanity. Is CONSISTANT with what he relays to me. No "fixer uppers". A man who is actually complete in and of himself, and does not NEED me. Hateful, racist, phobic, small-minded comments turn me cold immediately and permanently. I'm learning.
Well I can't be such man and I won't say too that there are men as perfect as you want. Sure I had been reading through your comment and stories just getting a little interesting in hearing them. Well in this life you can't force a person just try and find his wrongs and try and know his likes because you can't expect such person to also love you too. Sure every one comes from a separative home not every one are born by same parents. or even brought up by same parents too. So there are also a different in characters too and that is all for now.
To expect that others should make me happy......doesn't work. I have to feel happy First and then others reflect that. It all starts with me😊nothing to change out there. What a freedom.
❤❤❤❤Yes I needed this video. This video was confirmation for me that intuition is real. Those "butterflies" when you feel anxious before a date or even during or after the date. Then you get a redflag. You know for sure its not the one. I was dating an ex a couple of years ago in 2021 we tried to rekindle it. About 3 hours before the date I remember having crazy stomach pain and anxiety. When I should have felt calm, more excited, and happy. I felt this feeling of doom. Needless to say I was right we dated a few months but it ended cause I had to learn acceptance and that my intuition is 100 percent right. He was not my person. Maybe he could have been at the time we 1st dated but then later all was revealed he wouldn't be with me. Another 2 gentlemen i dated or have interests in same similar situation. However I took a different approach. I took more control, I let some friends weigh in, and also didn't ignore any redflags. I knew my person wouldn't make me feel insufficient, like I wasn't good enough, or an after thought. I realized I have to take control, speak my mind, and really listen to my intuition. If someone is direct in their approach and has a vision of you and only you. Then that's your person. If there are missteps, moving too quickly and comparisons to other people. Negative comments towards you, they curse at you, yell at you, you're arguing constantly in the beginning of dating. Leave this is a sign you are not supposed to be with them. They don't make time at all I mean not even an effort or no plans for you period. Leave. This is not the person for you. Your person will see you as their greatest investment and will clear their schedule for you. Sometimes we have to go through these situations to grasp the lesson because someone amazing is coming into our path. The universe is preparing you for greatness they want to make sure did you remember the lesson to get to the blessing. 😊
I am so glad I seen this video it has really show me a message I was alone for 17years and I been back dating for 3months but it is beginning to feel strange I think he's not into me lately
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Ladies, my abusive ex fit all the criteria. -Naivety was to blame. If it hits your gut with a question, don’t try to answer it, just trust yourself! I brushed up on some serious skill set and boundaries since then, and it has saved me. You can do it too! Once you see or sense the red flags, you can’t unsee them…like a flashlight beaming in your eyes.💗
Key insights: 💡 Your intuition works. Use it. 💔 "He was emotionally unavailable...I don't wanna deal with the same thing." - Recognizing emotional unavailability as a red flag in relationships is crucial to avoid repeating past mistakes. 🚩 Women who think they are magnets for bad men need to reassess their priorities and focus on finding someone who meets their essential needs for a fulfilling relationship. 🚩 Ladies, those butterflies in your stomach after a date might actually be your gut telling you that something is wrong, so listen to your intuition and run if you feel fear or anxiety. 🚩 Keeping the first several dates to about 90 minutes allows both parties to leave wanting more and looking forward to the next date. 🚩 A good partner is reliable, if he shows you otherwise and doesn't pull it together, even after you've communicated this to him, it's time to cut bait, throw him back to the pond, and move on. 💡 Paying attention to how your date phrases things and talks about certain topics can reveal important red flags about their personality and mindset. 🚩 "When that man finally gets you, he gonna treat it altogether different, man. That's just how it works."
I would never take an advice from a man who been married multiple times. My parents been married for 30-40 years . This is the type of relationship I love seeing.
It’s a blessing that your parents have long loving marriage, but remember in some cases years don’t equal happiness. Rather than saying you’d never take advise from a man who’s been married multiple times, how about thinking about it like this…he made mistakes like we all do and just maybe he wasn’t armed with the information he has today and has learnt so much more now. Otherwise you could be missing out on his experience of not what to do!
The inconsistent type of stuff is my major one I keep seeing. But she mentioned something good... Communicate it to him and speak about it first and then if he doesn't live up to his end, peace
I’m in involved with someone now and I have to say being romantically involved can expose YOU and where YOU are mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I definitely let my heart ruled for a certain amount of time. I am coming out of that heart phase and entering the mindfulness phase. I believe he could be the one but I am unsure simply because we both need internal work. I was told not to end things with him because I haven’t really given it a chance. Right now, we are giving it a chance but nothing is official yet. At first, I was upset about that, BUT NOW, I am grateful for the slow burn.
The irony of my mom sending me this video knowing damn well that she and her crappy decision to not protect me from abusers growing up and teaching me to seek out these exact toxic relationships is immense
I can relate to you both. Sometimes its difficult to find forgiveness for her. But I try to remember that hurt people hurt people and she was too wounded to see the harm she inflicted and not aware enough to self reflect and work on changing. It's still tough tho!
It's understandable to feel frustrated and hurt when our parents don't provide us with the support and guidance we need to form healthy relationships. However, it's also important to remember that we can't change the past, and dwelling on it can prevent us from moving forward. It may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or support group to work through any unresolved feelings related to past traumas or toxic relationships. Ultimately, it's up to us to take responsibility for our own healing and growth, even if it means breaking patterns from our past.
Wow, just learned this after 25 plus years of marriage; When I met my husband still today I always wanted to understand that butterflies feelings. Thank you.
I think each of us has our own list that is what we see in the other person when we begin our attraction however it is during the romantic phase when everybody's putting on their best foot forward after you become comfortable with someone & become emotionally attached that is when the true colors fly out on both sides. I had 2 men that were the most passionate lovers that were Attractive but not a pretty kind of attractive and they had A hint of bad boy to them cigarette smoking drinking kind of edge.... Once I was emotionally attached to them it took probably a year maybe even 9 months ish Little hints or red flags would show up..... A push, pulling my arm tightly and holding on to it, Yelling into my face, Talking down to me like I was stupid.... Things like that are the beginning of abuse... It doesn't have to be a full on slap, punch, throw down to the floor, spit in the face, choke or kick..... The thing is by the has built up a trust he has lured you in to emotional connection almost abandoned and you play the I'm sorry I forgive you it'll never happen again scenario and that can go on for the next Year or 2.... By then you've probably become pregnant and there are kids involved and now you are pretty dependent upon this person and they have twisted you up inside and around their finger in a way that has already affected yourself worth to your self.... It would be nice to say that up there's a red flag I'm out of here however emotions and sex and even a financial dependence can affect how you think and end up staying longer than You would have liked to.... Many times women will stay longer because they may be used to that type of enviolent or used to be treated that way and it in a sick way is comfortable to them even though they don't like it and don't want it to happen in a way it's what they know that was embedded in them may be from earlier years...... My brain is quite skewed because I feel My brain is quite skewed because I see men who are very passionate and who May put me on a pedestal And become jealous easily I feel that's kind of alpha male and in some odd way that's attractive to me.... It took me many years and relationships to see myself as the common denominator and I know for me areas that are not gonna change because I know me I'm not gonna put in the work to try and change my views because they're very embedded in me.... I stop dating men when I turned 40 And I've been single every since I'm 60 now and I've never been more relaxed peaceful and more confident in my life. I learned I don't need a man to complete me, I don't need a man in my life As a result I don't want to go down that road again so..... I think we have to go through our share of relationships or stay in a relationship for decades and be miserable That is each of our individual choices.... I can say from experience that living on your own people say aren't you lonely I'm like no I'm alone I'm not lonely they are different.... Stay busy and do what you enjoy and you will find great fulfillment in that❤
Beautifully stated. There is peace in being single. I survived abusive relationships and I am grateful for my freedom. I would recommend young women ignore men and concentrate on a career. Being independent is very important and having a career gives you the option to walk away if the guy becomes abusive
❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉 this is great advice, sometimes it's better to be single and peaceful than a couple and unhappy with anyone, tho a person can be happy as a couple, married or not, and being single is not such a bad thing, it's our choice ladies! I like the advice about keeping a career and having your own money, so you don't have to put up with s**t that you don't have too, you can walk and keep it moving! be careful of someone who thinks your arguing when your only trying to express yourself, just saying from a past or current relationship for women, red flag💔
I gave up. Liars. Cheaters. Opportunists. Too much hassle. The one about making you a priority is the best as you could call. If you’re not a priority your nowhere. It doesn’t work. Never again I’d rather be without as put up with all the stress. For what.
I needed this YEARS AGO!! Glad to have it now… My Ex and I had a 6 HOUR long first date as well which turned into a 6 YEAR long emotional abusive relationship and I’m now attempting to parallel parent with his NARCISSISTIC traits.
There is one red flag that was never mentioned. You might not see this on the first date, but one thing you really need to watch out for is his relationship with his family. Does he have a good relationship with his mother with his father? If his relationship was questionable with his parents, then what has he done to make himself better? A boy needs a father figure to make him a man. He also needs a mother figure to learn how to be gentle and care for a woman. If he doesn’t have that then maybe that’s an orange flag or something to watch out for.
you are SO right- my spiritual mentor told me one of the first things I should find out about a guy is his relationship with his family- his father in particular. If it's nonexistent or hanging for a thread find your way to the exit ASAP because he had no role model to teach him how to treat a woman well.
I would say his relationship with his mother is more important, because that's exactly how he'll treat you, also watch out for men who "idolise" their mothers, or you will spend your whole life competing. You want a man that is going to be on your side, 100%, no matter who is on the other side. Same advice goes for women who don't have great relationships with their families..., if you grew up without your father, fix your daddy issues before you date the next guy, or you will end up with consistently unavailable men, just like your father was.
June 17th was the worst night I’ve ever had, my husband ended up abusing me and telling me to get out of HIS house. This has traumatized me for the rest of my life. Long story short, I should have never went on a sec date with him, I was blindsided, he’s a master manipulator and a narcissist. I didn’t see bc that’s how good he is, I beat myself up about it, but now I know what signs to look out for!
My ex's first thing to do was to keep control over me. No hanging out with friends, trying to keep me from my family, almost every single place he went i had to be there with him, unless he wanted to hangout with his friends then I had to stay home and wait around until he decided to come home. When I got tired of being controlled he saw his power was gone. He tried to turn everything bad in our relationship on me. Now he's off doing this to someone else.
I let my heart take over, i got the butterflies, I still get them when he walks into a room and he’s amazing to me in every way. I’m glad I went with my heart, love isn’t a business transaction. Been with him many years and we’re honestly as happy as we were at the start. I love my butterflies in my tummy still!
If I get butterflies and anxiety, I get rid of him because I know it's not normal. I actually broke up with a guy because I kept having unfounded longing feelings when under normal circumstances he is not my type.
@girlygirl1890 I didn't write that comment but I am guessing that person is saying her feelings were over the top for the situation and it somehow felt wrong, like it was going to be something turning toxic. I am not sure
In my experience it's more like 30. No one can put on a fake persona for more than a month. Plus, by the 90 day mark, your heart is already getting attached.
True dat! I've got a 6'5" that stuck with me from day one fast and furious to get married. Needless to say I take care of myself and all he does is nothing. My red flag is now burnt to a crisp.
I think this should just be for people in general. In my experience I had this same experience with a few woman and it really took a toll on me in every single way. Women just get coddled when it happens to them. Men are told to just deal with it
Speaking as a man, I find that some of these points don’t hold true for me. It’s important to remember that red flags are subjective and can vary from person to person. For instance, men can show red flags too, such as being overly needy, always letting the woman take the lead, or expecting the woman to pay for everything. In my relationship, my girlfriend and I have an understanding about our communication. We both have busy work schedules, so we don’t always respond to each other’s texts right away. We’re understanding and patient with each other because we know that work can get in the way. Ultimately, what constitutes a red flag really depends on the individual’s perspective, not what some celebrity or popular opinion might suggest. It’s about understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries and communication styles."
Definitely narcissistic, when they want to see you the following day and every following day after that or....when they call/text too often. And you're right about inconsistency. I don't understand guys these days. They're not consistent anymore. I'm 44, and I date guys around my age. The older they get the more immature and inconsistent they become. Most guys!
Okay that's really great to hear such there are thing that are left unsaid so you don't get shattered during the process. That come in form of lack of trust.
My husband and I had a 3 hour first date. However we had met online and had only been able to talk by phone or email at first because he was out of town for work for the first month that we met. Our first date went very well and then he called right away afterwards on his own which was nice. He did travel but would want to see me as much as possible when he was in town. We held off sex for over a month though. So wanting to see a lot of you is fine I think as long as they aren’t trying to rush along physical intimacy.
One month is not enough to know a person before jumping in to bed. How did you pull it off? At least half a year would give you enough time to establish a friendship, meet family and best friends.
So, this guy that I've been noticing for a couple of months came around to asking me for my number. I consulted with God before conversating with him. In my mind I got the word "friend". I think my instincts were telling me that he's good enough to be a friend. Anyway, long story short, I finally text him after two weeks to see what's up. We haven't even gone on a date yet and he said I love you! I absolutely found this strange. I wanted to say this is Love bombing but he doesn't text me enough to call it love-bombing. He let me know he was interested but then he pulled back. My Spidey senses are telling me that he has someone in his life who cares for him. I wouldn't want to get in between anything. He's definitely friend-zoned.
I agree with you and said the same thing. She needs to change that to a fearful anxiety not butterflies. Cause butterflies are that sweet feeling you feel when you see or talk to that person ❤
@@MsRocksa I guess I can only speak for me, when I’m falling for someone or like them a lot, I get the nice butterflies 🦋 in my stomach. It’s not a sick or anxious feeling. It’s something quite different.
Most people have these flags in one form of another. I believe the main problem is people aren't aware that relationships require educating yourself about how to have a relationship. That and self awareness is severely lacking. Let's say someone makes sure their partner has none of these flags. You still run into problems once emotional and sexual fulfilment isn't met
Mr. Harvey, Im listening. Thankyou!! Men in general are not good enough, they are players, they are not loyal and they lie. Finding someone good is really hard. I will be back!! Thankyou for the Red Glags!!
I should have watched this video 6 months ago… would have saved me a lot of heartache but oh well, I’m glad regardless, I sure will use my head going forward ❤️
I knew all these rules that why I remain single and happy, not in a hurry to find Mr Right. But have experienced red flags in previous relationship but got out as fast as I could. Single life is amazing I know myself and what I expect from a Man when in a relationship.
"Never get too attached to anyone, because one-sided expectations can destroy you"..
Yeah dear too much expectations n entitlement, blows ur life up in flames,many don't know that..then depression n heart break feelings sets in
True
Learned this the hard way unfortunately ....
A terrible weakness I used to have in my youth up until my early thirties. I’d meet guys who showed me a bit of attention and boom 💥 I’m smitten 🥰 only to have a bitter end 😢
Whats a one sided expectation? Im curious
"Nobody is too busy to call or text you..." Mmm this sinks
This make me think of me in my relationship with GOD 😢.
Facts nobody to busy to reply back everyone has cell phones 📲 no and days 😮
Narc
@@Violet-fg9db God's always got time for us.
i know right
Nobody is ever too busy for anyone, golden rule of life, it applies to family members and even friends too
Agree
so true!
I have friends that we went to high school with , we were getting together for breakfast once a month, but they stopped, l wanted to continue our get together for breakfast, I’ve moved on too because I’m not 1 to force the issue.
If you feel total peace around a man you found the one. My own experience ❤
yeah I can tell it's true, he dumped me though, because he thought it was too calm to be good or real...
Exactly...the last failed, toxic relationship I broke free from, I actually told him, "this is not going to work, I have NO PEACE"🙏🏽
💯
Correct
Can't wait to have mine 🙏✨
I kept collecting flags. Now I'm chronically single and have a flag store 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Sometimes regflags are not what it seems to be. I believe I'm getting to know the person first. One can leave when certain.
😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Flag store😅😅😅😅
😂😂😂
5 Red Flags
1. Mismatched core values
2. Makes you feel butterflies
3. Moves too quickly
4. Inconsistent behavior patterns
5. Leads with negativity
So I'm not crazy and difficult to please after all. 😂😂
From experience, I noticed that men with these qualities always disappoint. They're not worth my time.
@@northshorelight35 absolutely 💯 ❤️
There are more signs that a man is low value and not worth your time. ua-cam.com/video/CXOjDXkBAd8/v-deo.html You can't fix these flaws ladies so throw him back.
Thank you for this
They not at all I just know I ain’t crazy
My dad always told me and my sister.....Always listen to yoir inner voice because your first reaction is usually the correct one
Soooo trueee! My inner instincts has helped me a lot lately. I pray a lot.
Or just have your Dad meet the guy you're dating 👍
I agree 100%. That goes for both genders Men & Woman
Intuition is the Holy Spirit 🙌
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
Intuition is not the Holy Spirit
Discernment of Spirits is of the Holy Spirit .
I agree
💯
Intuition is not the Holy Spirit. It is one of the manifestations of the communication of the Holy Spirit to your own spirit.
Some other red flags to watch out for is insecurities and possessive over you, anger problems, controlling, these can be signs of an abuser be careful ladies.
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
Very true
Those traits are indicative of narcissism.
True for women too.
Right! #wedontdateforeverwegetmarried ❤️⭐️🙏🏼
Best you can do when it comes to any decision making including chosing your partner: always consult God. He knows all people because He created them. He knows their hearts and know what's the best for us. But unfortunately, one tends to make decision and only then consult God when all is already messed up.
"We often mistake fear for excitement."
Hello my lady
But many out there’s don’t even know that
Or should I say they don’t know when nd how the 2 looks like
A lot of red flags tho 😢
Many lost
Hello Elisa
Can we be friends
"If you ignore the red flags, embrace the heartache to come"
Indeed
Yep
So good
Yap
Yes
If a man tells you that you’re lucky to have him, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. It’s all about them.
That is weird
As a man I doubt any man will say this to their woman.
@@SteveHarvey-cm7epWeird to be honest.
You must be very rich and able to provide her everything in order to say that.
😂😂😂😂😂.... yessssssssss... !!!
A great partner for you is: Kind, loyal, generous, and make you feel save, he makes you his priority! You are not being difficult, he is just Not the man for you.
I'm looking for a serious relationship
If you be what me
Amen 🎉
Oldie but goodies -
1. Know your own worth!
2.Never make someone your priority when you are only their option😮
Exactly
Spot on
Right on ! Touche'
That goes bothways
In today's era, I think women have over-inflated their self worth. Unfortunately some have even been Alpha Widowed.
From the projects, to the prairie, to the penthouse... Average women do NOT want average men.
Just because your DMs are "poppin" doesn't mean you're in pole position for marriage or that you're even marriage material.
When they are nice to you one day, and mean and hurtful the next, and it constantly goes on.
Another situation is when they are romantic one day but you barely hear from them for the next couple of days. I had an ex like this. He's so used to being by himself and in his own world that he doesn't know how to daily and deeply communicate with someone else consistently.
I think it goes deeper than this. The bottom line is this: whatever you subconsciously believe yourself to be, is who you are and those are the vibes you give off. You will then attract (and/or be attracted to) the person who needs someone like you. You both will be attracted to each other.
So, if you are insecure and believe you are inferior in some way, you’ll attract the partner who needs someone like you in order to feel good about themself. If you believe you’re unsteady, or not in control somehow, you’ll attract someone who will take control (and therefore needs someone like you).
This is exactly why people keep going through the same relationship patterns and issues. They’re not doing the work and fixing themselves first. You’re insecure and will be attracted to the person who showers you with the attention you crave and will overlook and make excuses about the control tendencies, the verbal hits, or whatever negative characteristics are clearly shown.
You need to search yourself and clear up your subconscious baggage first before you go looking for relationship.
The subconscious mind is so powerful. It’s running about 95% of your actions. There’s so much more going on…
Nobody reply means nobody read your comment including me.
I read your message..
Need to heal ourselves 1st
@@elainekfullbright5019 Are you saying that just because I said no one reads the comment.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
As a man thinks in his heart, so is he!
Once upon a time I met someone who was good on paper, tall, dark, handsome, grand career... but they were a HUGE narcissist; haughty, lacking empathy, only saw others as extensions of themselves, entitled, etc. After a period of "love bombing" they went cold, were all about themselves.... then cheated. Now I'm happily married to someone who is kind, selfless, compromising and I feel safe with them. My ex was like a faberge egg; shiny, eye catching and attractive on the outside, hollow and worthless on the inside.
Wow! This comparison is really great! Thank you so much! Wish you all the best for your marriage and in life! :D
I cant change a man but by god I can change myself.
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi
AMÉN 🙏🏻 most definitely 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
"Never get too attached to anyone, because one-sided expectations can destroy
Thank you! I had a date with a man a few weeks ago and I was thinking "he's great but I don't feel the butterflies". I kept going out with him and it turns out he's an amazing person and just how I need a man to be. I'm so glad I didn't need this feeling anymore ❤
Enjoy bb
wanting butterflies is a childish desire, no offence, because it never lasts & with familiarity will become boring, which is why 80% of divorces r triggered by women who become 'bored'.
I believe it - 90 days is all it takes 😅 the real them comes out… I have been practicing it for a year now. I learn to enjoy, observe and not to be attach with the outcome. I am much happier now 😅 and will patiently waiting for the one who fits with my core values and lifestyle.
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
Hello Kaycee
How are you
Of course,and I also need a true and good woman in my life
Life style you mean your way of spending right because that's all I could see as you life style.
Guys... if a woman tells you she wants a bad boy, what she is really saying is... "I'm emotionally immature and potentially toxic, and/or mentally unstable". You have NOT LOST OUT on a woman who wants a bad boy but you are a good guy. Let her go and don't waste your time!
She wants an adrenaline junkie she’s probably some type of addict borderline or bipolar.. Met many of these dangerous women.. They will get you killed with there Chaos 🆘
The first girl is a walking red flag. In her list of "dream man" she never said kind, humble, or generous but instead started with he has to be over 6ft tall. This is the problem when you go for attraction only. You know what attraction does...it gets you a baby without ever marrying the person.
She confused chemistry with compatibility.
Also she wants him a bit bad…street translated bad boy player very attractive to be hers only.
Chances are someone like that this would not be her match and she will keep going for the wrong one because that’s her type.
You can tell by the way she listened and her facial reactions that she’s been through a lot with this type of individuals.
Exactly
😂
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
You have a very beautiful smile on your profile 😊
The issue with narcissistic people is that they are very good actors and can be very cunning. You won't know who you have in bed with you until they have you locked by marriage or kids. I think the main important take away is that at ANY moment in you relationship (doesn't matter what stage you are at), if you feel fear, like you are walking on egg shells, can't express yourself clearly and can't seem to rely on your partner, you need to leave. If abuse of any kind is involved, that is a definite 'LEAVE'.
I think narcissistic people always reveal themselves, we just choose to see what we want to see. We tell ourselves a story, instead of living in reality. If a person never asks about you, don't say, oh but they're so funny, without taking note of the fact that they literally couldn't care less who you are as a person, you are interchangeable with anybody else.. Even little things like, not addressing you by name, in a situation where you would expect to be called by name, these are signs..
@@ebbyc1817ut they only revealed themselves after you marry them or having a kid
And you already wasted a lot of time with them
Agree totally narcos cover themselves well
They’re never genuine so it’s not hard to read them very early on tbh
@ue2267 you are exactly right!! My husband was a good actor!! Later on in our relationship awhile after we were married that's when his narcissist self came out!! I was like what the heck happened! I said time to go. Alot of times narcissist people don't show there true colors until later on in the relationship.
Never go back to a man who tells you that your are too much cuz you put him in his place
Red flags:
1.Not being responsible in that relationship.
2.Not providing anything for each other (financially).
3.Lieing character (Cheating).
4.Not being loving & caring.
I LUV the way Steve educates while being humorous.
Nobody is tooo busy to call or to text you or to send a VOICE NOTE!!!!
Great clip 👌 👍 👏 ❤
I know a guy who use to skip lunch so he could buy phone cards to call his wife. That is love.
This could be me
Perhaps. My husband did that and more. He was the perfect man and guess what, he’s a narcissist. People were so envious of us but they had no idea of the abuse I endured behind closed doors. It took me 16 years but I finally divorced him.
Perhaps. Or perhaps a controlling, manipulative man. Be careful about admiring relationships that you have no clue about. My husband did that and more. He was the perfect man and guess what, he’s a narcissist. People were so envious of us but they had no idea of the abuse I endured behind closed doors. It took me 16 years but I finally divorced him.
or the wife is manipulating him and forces him to constantly call her, otherwise he's guilty to cheat on her....
@@simplyshannon19 you're an exception not the normal situation 👍
THANKS FOR THOSE RED FLAGS WE SHOULD NEVER IGNORE. I WAS TOLD BY MY MOTHER, IF A MAN WERE TRULY IN LOVE WITH YOU, HE WOULD FIND SOMEWAY TO TALK TO YOU. HE WOULD MOVE MOUNTAINS TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP HIM. WISE IN BROOKSVILLE FL.
Love that line “ Throw back to the pond”😂
Hello how are you
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
you so gorgeous and beautiful like the morning star shining as bright as the diamonds 💎 🥰🥰🥰🥰 wanna get close to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰
I like the river better than a pond . River has a current and always moving on. Put his ass down
The river look up and he's gone forever
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I don't agree with the 'butterflies' thing being a red flag. 12 yeears after meeting my then-0husband (now deceased) I still had butterflies every time he entered the room. He was a wonderful, kind, funny, intelligent, totally amazing person.
I think what she meant butterflies in the video is a man gives a woman anxiety about what he does, like he hangs out often with other girl, commits dangerous action, violates the law, wastes money non stop...all of that makes woman feel unsafe and can not have a stable relationship
So what happened?
@@hohuy1469 I don't think that is what she meant. Butterflies is a positive not scary feeling.
@@OneWomanMan888 to/in relation to what?
@@taras6806 Take it to the grave.
So true. A lot of men who are boys ..just want fun! and when you say no.. they don’t respect you just the same! thank you Steve and bela ❤
👌
❤
Totally my last ex. He was a narcissist. Ended horribly. Wish I knew all of this before.
Me also wasted 30 yrs with a Narcissistic Abuser
If people show you their red flags 🚩 show them your white flag🏳and moved on..
Haha white flag what dose that mean enlighten me dear 😊.sound funny n sneaky 😆😆
😄
@@kingsurgeme. White flag means :”I give up”. “Im outta here bro”
@@monarene44 ok what of the red sweetie 🤔🤷🏽♂️
@@kingsurgeme Red flag means danger/warning/proceed with extreme caution.
My first 2 questions now going forward are….”are you a Christian?” Do you drink or smoke?!” Any of those I am running away!
I’ve been married for 18 years to an alcoholic/narc. I’m so done with demonic people.
Profession does not equal possession. By their fruits, ye shall know them-not what they say.
if you attract a narcissist, those questions are useless because my ex had the same religion and didn't drink or smoke but he turned out to be worse than someone who drinks and smokes. They usually tell you what you want to hear to get you. After they have you, its a cycle of abuse. Watch how they treat others and you by actions rather than words.
@@ellaarav Very true.
The 3 above comments, WOW!!!! I couldn’t agree more , how could l be fooled so badly, l nothing but REGRETS for marrying this woman a total 360 change once we got married, complain, complain, complain, don’t do this don’t do that, get rid of this- a total big mistake that l made, we are just roommates, l have prayed to GOD for forgiveness for marrying this woman, which is only marriage on paper, l really don’t like to use the word marriage with her or even refer to her as my wife- there is no love here-we’ve gone to marriage counseling, really I’m done if l could leave l would!!!! Again, great above comments I’ve learned a lot from your comments Thanks
@@larryherbert252Why can't you leave her?
Butterflies are normal. It doesn't mean its a red flag in a person. Its just an initial excitement. Just make sure to keep taking it slow. Excitement is ok though. She is actually talking about ANXIETY or an inner and natural alarm going off inside that feels like something is off. There is a major difference in the feeling between the two. Granted, someone with unaddressed trauma might have problems differentiating between the two. The other red flags were great advice.
Very true.
Red flags left you irritated, confused, questioning everything, overthinking...most of time
I really like your armor of thinking,and I'll like to know you more better.
Sure
😂Yeah you right
How very very true, wish I heard all this sbout60 years ago ...my life would have been ssssooo much BETTER. I'm 80 now n feel like I'm learning life all over again ...but this time I'm getting the Right answers !!! Thank you Steve LOVEYA 💞
I can still give you the care you want cause age is just a number.
I like it
Can I come into your life
Hello Kasha
How are you doing
I’m waiting for a right man ❤
I firmly believe that you cannot change a person. I have found that some personal changes in yourself can encourage change in your partner, depending on what it is.
Isn’t this contradictory?
@@forbes4007all relationships are a push and pull. Not necessarily in a negative sense, but it's about making compromises, even within yourself. You cannot force change on someone else, without extensive abuse. They have to be the ones to realize, and do the change themselves. For example, your partner refuses to communicate with you, so you decide to withdraw yourself emotionally, instead of feeding into the lack of reliability. You preserve your own self reliability, self care. Hopefully they will follow, and if they continue to ignore your needs, you will be able to leave stronger for it.
@@tarab7746 i agree with your take about change. and it started to help me deal with people in general.
You are right
I really believe that you cannot change a person the person has to change for the friendship or relationship to work out if truly they love you and wants both you to be happy in the relationship you guys signed up for and not make you have regrets of deciding to with him or her , that's why it's also good to discuss how you both feel in a relationship communication matters alot in a relationship
When I met my boyfriend, we went out four days in a row and quite often after that and he told me he wanted us to be exclusive. That was over a year and a half ago and we’re still together. Sometimes when you meet someone you can tell that you have a connection so it’s not necessarily a bad thing to see them a lot in the beginning.
Exactly! It’s just best to let the man lead and don’t include him in your plans unless he include you in his. Everyone situation is different!
But also that means you are the exception she is talking about the rule and most women don’t have the time or luxury to have to go through the obstacles that comes with being the rule and not the exception.
I wish I met you earlier before him
Exception VS. Rule
This is basic common sense
My dear come back and tell me how you guys are after 10 years 2 kids and a mortgage.
In today’s world, it would simply be best to work on SELF. Do not look for happiness and/or stability in anyone else but yourself. Do not admit anyone to your life who isnt able to add to it ( not complete it, not subtract from it and not MaKE your life something you haven’t made it already). You need to make your life what you want it to be. Once you do that, you will attract EVERYTHING . Then you can pick who to admit, but you probably will see how f’d up most people are and decide to remain single and in peace! Good luck!
If you drink you won't know how to get along with them sober or visa versa make sure you get along with them both ways or no drinking
Never trust anyone 100% which means don’t ever get attached to anyone in a way you can’t unattach yourself should you ever need to. I’ve seen so many legally attached couples end up miserable, and ones who weren’t stay together just as long and when they wanted to part ways it was as friends not with hostility
I'm too attached now to this emotional child man and I don't know how to let him go. 😢
Hello
Hi handsome
😊😊😊
i love how he praises and lifts women up
Just a reminder also that you might feel butterflies and anxiety when you meet a good guy too because its something you are not used to
The difference is you feel more calm and feel at home when you meet the right person, you can be yourself around him
Yes you get butterfly but it's different feeling
If you always feel anxiety and always feel not good enough for him, it's red flag
True
Can I know you more?
Exactly
Those narcissists. Disgusting.
#2 is right on point. I always thought having butterflies every time I saw them after years was a good thing. Only until afterwards I realized they always gave me horrendous anxiety.
I disagree about the butterflies. Butterflies just means you're nervous because there's immediate attraction. I'm sure plenty of people who've felt this have gone on to get married.
Butterflies means , lot of womes hehe
Yes, red flags definitely doesn't feel like butterflies at all. Something entirely different.
Agreed, butterflies and intuition do not feel the same.
Agree
Warm butterflies are good; anxious butterflies are not.
4;40 I once had that experience I mistook the danger for butterflies I knew something was wrong but I stayed , however I’m glad at some point I found the courage to leave before things got worse .
Married many years and I’ve ignored the red flags for a long time…I’m ready for a change…
Which ones?
This advice is spot on! You see who they are in 90 days for sure
Hello my lady
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
Speak the truth, brother Steve! I SAW the red flags, but was trained to ignore them. "Butterflies" are kinda funny; not sure which of my organs is responding, and which ones I should listen to. Obsessive is scary. I now know what being "love bombed" means. Dodgy. Yes; too busy or EVASIVE in his answers. I don't demand an explanation. I just stop getting in contact with him. He's not a "mystery" he is being deceptive. OH number five. I went on a date with a perfectly attractive man who spent the whole time talking about who and what he hated. It was a short date. He kept demanding an explanation for WHY I didn't want a second date. *sigh* "You are too full of hate." "What the hell does THAT mean?" *click* Blocked. I want a man who loves what he does, and does what he loves. An honest man; one who understands being human. And who values love and humanity. Is CONSISTANT with what he relays to me. No "fixer uppers". A man who is actually complete in and of himself, and does not NEED me. Hateful, racist, phobic, small-minded comments turn me cold immediately and permanently. I'm learning.
Hello my lady how are you
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
Outstanding characteristic excellence with parts of enormous charm and wonderful gorgeousness.
Well I can't be such man and I won't say too that there are men as perfect as you want. Sure I had been reading through your comment and stories just getting a little interesting in hearing them. Well in this life you can't force a person just try and find his wrongs and try and know his likes because you can't expect such person to also love you too. Sure every one comes from a separative home not every one are born by same parents. or even brought up by same parents too. So there are also a different in characters too and that is all for now.
@Valkyrie1066
To expect that others should make me happy......doesn't work.
I have to feel happy First and then others reflect that.
It all starts with me😊nothing to change out there.
What a freedom.
Hey
How are you doing?
❤❤❤❤Yes I needed this video. This video was confirmation for me that intuition is real. Those "butterflies" when you feel anxious before a date or even during or after the date. Then you get a redflag. You know for sure its not the one. I was dating an ex a couple of years ago in 2021 we tried to rekindle it. About 3 hours before the date I remember having crazy stomach pain and anxiety. When I should have felt calm, more excited, and happy. I felt this feeling of doom. Needless to say I was right we dated a few months but it ended cause I had to learn acceptance and that my intuition is 100 percent right. He was not my person. Maybe he could have been at the time we 1st dated but then later all was revealed he wouldn't be with me. Another 2 gentlemen i dated or have interests in same similar situation. However I took a different
approach. I took more control, I let some friends weigh in, and also didn't ignore any redflags. I knew my person wouldn't make me feel insufficient, like I wasn't good enough, or an after thought. I realized I have to take control, speak my mind, and really listen to my intuition.
If someone is direct in their approach and has a vision of you and only you. Then that's your person. If there are missteps, moving too quickly and comparisons to other people.
Negative comments towards you, they curse at you, yell at you, you're arguing constantly in the beginning of dating. Leave this is a sign you are not supposed to be with them. They don't make time at all I mean not even an effort or no plans for you period. Leave. This is not the person for you. Your person will see you as their greatest investment and will clear their schedule for you. Sometimes we have to go through these situations to grasp the lesson because someone amazing is coming into our path. The universe is preparing you for greatness they want to make sure did you remember the lesson to get to the blessing. 😊
That was beautiful and well said! ❤❤❤
You certainly got it right. It could not have been said any better.
I am so glad I seen this video it has really show me a message I was alone for 17years and I been back dating for 3months but it is beginning to feel strange I think he's not into me lately
Hello Beautiful, How are you doing?
You sure have a nice smile 😊
Hi
Steve you doent need no expert on giving advice to women. You are the expert.
You have always given good advice to women about men.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Spiritual oluwabola , and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive
Im sorry but this is not the right video for your heartbreak.
So true no one is too busy to spend time with you or send you a text message no one.
Not if you are a priority for them
My husband and I have been married for 55 years. We are very blessed!
Good for you....
God Bless you both🙏
Ladies, my abusive ex fit all the criteria. -Naivety was to blame. If it hits your gut with a question, don’t try to answer it, just trust yourself! I brushed up on some serious skill set and boundaries since then, and it has saved me. You can do it too! Once you see or sense the red flags, you can’t unsee them…like a flashlight beaming in your eyes.💗
Hello Beautiful, How are you doing?
You sure have a nice smile 😊
Sorry for trying to message you here but i just can’t get over your beautiful smile, can we get to know more about each other if you don’t mind
@@ruthiespotionhi Ruth
You've got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
@@ruthiespotionYou’re wonderful dear don’t let anyone let you down and everything will be alright stay strong
Key insights:
💡 Your intuition works. Use it.
💔 "He was emotionally unavailable...I don't wanna deal with the same thing." - Recognizing emotional unavailability as a red flag in relationships is crucial to avoid repeating past mistakes.
🚩 Women who think they are magnets for bad men need to reassess their priorities and focus on finding someone who meets their essential needs for a fulfilling relationship.
🚩 Ladies, those butterflies in your stomach after a date might actually be your gut telling you that something is wrong, so listen to your intuition and run if you feel fear or anxiety.
🚩 Keeping the first several dates to about 90 minutes allows both parties to leave wanting more and looking forward to the next date.
🚩 A good partner is reliable, if he shows you otherwise and doesn't pull it together, even after you've communicated this to him, it's time to cut bait, throw him back to the pond, and move on.
💡 Paying attention to how your date phrases things and talks about certain topics can reveal important red flags about their personality and mindset.
🚩 "When that man finally gets you, he gonna treat it altogether different, man. That's just how it works."
Hey
Mhm
I would never take an advice from a man who been married multiple times. My parents been married for 30-40 years . This is the type of relationship I love seeing.
It’s a blessing that your parents have long loving marriage, but remember in some cases years don’t equal happiness. Rather than saying you’d never take advise from a man who’s been married multiple times, how about thinking about it like this…he made mistakes like we all do and just maybe he wasn’t armed with the information he has today and has learnt so much more now. Otherwise you could be missing out on his experience of not what to do!
I agree. And idk not on aww of these women either.
This so true. Pay attention to the signs and your gut feelings.
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi
The inconsistent type of stuff is my major one I keep seeing. But she mentioned something good... Communicate it to him and speak about it first and then if he doesn't live up to his end, peace
I’m in involved with someone now and I have to say being romantically involved can expose YOU and where YOU are mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I definitely let my heart ruled for a certain amount of time. I am coming out of that heart phase and entering the mindfulness phase.
I believe he could be the one but I am unsure simply because we both need internal work. I was told not to end things with him because I haven’t really given it a chance.
Right now, we are giving it a chance but nothing is official yet. At first, I was upset about that, BUT NOW, I am grateful for the slow burn.
The irony of my mom sending me this video knowing damn well that she and her crappy decision to not protect me from abusers growing up and teaching me to seek out these exact toxic relationships is immense
My mom does this too but she is the narcissistic abuser. She is just incapable of self reflection 😢
I can relate to you both. Sometimes its difficult to find forgiveness for her. But I try to remember that hurt people hurt people and she was too wounded to see the harm she inflicted and not aware enough to self reflect and work on changing. It's still tough tho!
What did you reply to her sending it to you? Sorry to read of your abuse 💞💫
Now you are the Adult. You be the change
It's understandable to feel frustrated and hurt when our parents don't provide us with the support and guidance we need to form healthy relationships. However, it's also important to remember that we can't change the past, and dwelling on it can prevent us from moving forward. It may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or support group to work through any unresolved feelings related to past traumas or toxic relationships. Ultimately, it's up to us to take responsibility for our own healing and growth, even if it means breaking patterns from our past.
Wow, just learned this after 25 plus years of marriage;
When I met my husband still today I always wanted to understand that butterflies feelings.
Thank you.
This is what I am praying 🙏 for. I believe God will bless me when the time is right.
Hi baby
you so gorgeous and beautiful like the morning star shining as bright as the diamonds 💎 🥰🥰🥰🥰 wanna get close to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤❤
That butterfly feeling is sooo true!!! Every unsuccessful relationship I have had I always had those butterflies on date one
I wish knew this 😢
I can give you butterflies all the time 🤗
True
Like it is okay to be excited and feel excitement, but the butterflies are a red flag.
I think each of us has our own list that is what we see in the other person when we begin our attraction however it is during the romantic phase when everybody's putting on their best foot forward after you become comfortable with someone & become emotionally attached that is when the true colors fly out on both sides. I had 2 men that were the most passionate lovers that were Attractive but not a pretty kind of attractive and they had A hint of bad boy to them cigarette smoking drinking kind of edge.... Once I was emotionally attached to them it took probably a year maybe even 9 months ish Little hints or red flags would show up..... A push, pulling my arm tightly and holding on to it, Yelling into my face, Talking down to me like I was stupid.... Things like that are the beginning of abuse... It doesn't have to be a full on slap, punch, throw down to the floor, spit in the face, choke or kick..... The thing is by the has built up a trust he has lured you in to emotional connection almost abandoned and you play the I'm sorry I forgive you it'll never happen again scenario and that can go on for the next Year or 2.... By then you've probably become pregnant and there are kids involved and now you are pretty dependent upon this person and they have twisted you up inside and around their finger in a way that has already affected yourself worth to your self.... It would be nice to say that up there's a red flag I'm out of here however emotions and sex and even a financial dependence can affect how you think and end up staying longer than You would have liked to.... Many times women will stay longer because they may be used to that type of enviolent or used to be treated that way and it in a sick way is comfortable to them even though they don't like it and don't want it to happen in a way it's what they know that was embedded in them may be from earlier years...... My brain is quite skewed because I feel My brain is quite skewed because I see men who are very passionate and who May put me on a pedestal And become jealous easily I feel that's kind of alpha male and in some odd way that's attractive to me.... It took me many years and relationships to see myself as the common denominator and I know for me areas that are not gonna change because I know me I'm not gonna put in the work to try and change my views because they're very embedded in me.... I stop dating men when I turned 40 And I've been single every since I'm 60 now and I've never been more relaxed peaceful and more confident in my life. I learned I don't need a man to complete me, I don't need a man in my life As a result I don't want to go down that road again so..... I think we have to go through our share of relationships or stay in a relationship for decades and be miserable That is each of our individual choices.... I can say from experience that living on your own people say aren't you lonely I'm like no I'm alone I'm not lonely they are different.... Stay busy and do what you enjoy and you will find great fulfillment in that❤
Beautifully stated. There is peace in being single. I survived abusive relationships and I am grateful for my freedom.
I would recommend young women ignore men and concentrate on a career. Being independent is very important and having a career gives you the option to walk away if the guy becomes abusive
❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉 this is great advice, sometimes it's better to be single and peaceful than a couple and unhappy with anyone, tho a person can be happy as a couple, married or not, and being single is not such a bad thing, it's our choice ladies! I like the advice about keeping a career and having your own money, so you don't have to put up with s**t that you don't have too, you can walk and keep it moving! be careful of someone who thinks your arguing when your only trying to express yourself, just saying from a past or current relationship for women, red flag💔
I gave up. Liars. Cheaters. Opportunists. Too much hassle. The one about making you a priority is the best as you could call. If you’re not a priority your nowhere. It doesn’t work. Never again I’d rather be without as put up with all the stress. For what.
I needed this YEARS AGO!! Glad to have it now…
My Ex and I had a 6 HOUR long first date as well which turned into a 6 YEAR long emotional abusive relationship and I’m now attempting to parallel parent with his NARCISSISTIC traits.
Aww I’m so sorry you had to go through this ❤. I know there is someone out there who will show you that you are worth loving the healthy way🥰
I have been through a lot too I know oneday I will find true love
Wassup pretty ❤
@@tiffanymatsvaiyou so gorgeous and beautiful like the morning star shining as bright as the diamonds 💎 🥰🥰🥰🥰 wanna get close to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰
@@quietmedia140you so gorgeous and beautiful like the morning star shining as bright as the diamonds 💎 🥰🥰🥰🥰 wanna get close to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰
There is one red flag that was never mentioned. You might not see this on the first date, but one thing you really need to watch out for is his relationship with his family. Does he have a good relationship with his mother with his father? If his relationship was questionable with his parents, then what has he done to make himself better? A boy needs a father figure to make him a man. He also needs a mother figure to learn how to be gentle and care for a woman. If he doesn’t have that then maybe that’s an orange flag or something to watch out for.
Couldn't agree more. Also whether he has some good solid friendships in his life.
you are SO right- my spiritual mentor told me one of the first things I should find out about a guy is his relationship with his family- his father in particular. If it's nonexistent or hanging for a thread find your way to the exit ASAP because he had no role model to teach him how to treat a woman well.
I would say his relationship with his mother is more important, because that's exactly how he'll treat you, also watch out for men who "idolise" their mothers, or you will spend your whole life competing. You want a man that is going to be on your side, 100%, no matter who is on the other side.
Same advice goes for women who don't have great relationships with their families..., if you grew up without your father, fix your daddy issues before you date the next guy, or you will end up with consistently unavailable men, just like your father was.
@@ebbyc1817that's so true...
So boys/ men raised by single parents is a no for you!!
June 17th was the worst night I’ve ever had, my husband ended up abusing me and telling me to get out of HIS house. This has traumatized me for the rest of my life. Long story short, I should have never went on a sec date with him, I was blindsided, he’s a master manipulator and a narcissist. I didn’t see bc that’s how good he is, I beat myself up about it, but now I know what signs to look out for!
Sad 😔! But keep going on 💪🏻 u will have much more happiness in future
@@innocent4733 thank you so much!! I’m hopeful!
@@kaleyjaid that's good ,how u living now ?
@@innocent4733 I am getting stronger as each day passes!
5 straight to the point red flags to watch out for. I see no lies here. Great things to remember!
My ex's first thing to do was to keep control over me. No hanging out with friends, trying to keep me from my family, almost every single place he went i had to be there with him, unless he wanted to hangout with his friends then I had to stay home and wait around until he decided to come home.
When I got tired of being controlled he saw his power was gone. He tried to turn everything bad in our relationship on me. Now he's off doing this to someone else.
Hello sweetheart 😊
you so gorgeous and beautiful like the morning star shining as bright as the diamonds 💎 🥰🥰🥰🥰 wanna get close to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤
@@AsinyoWisdom❤
I let my heart take over, i got the butterflies, I still get them when he walks into a room and he’s amazing to me in every way. I’m glad I went with my heart, love isn’t a business transaction. Been with him many years and we’re honestly as happy as we were at the start. I love my butterflies in my tummy still!
If I get butterflies and anxiety, I get rid of him because I know it's not normal. I actually broke up with a guy because I kept having unfounded longing feelings when under normal circumstances he is not my type.
Could you explain that more? Were you afraid of obsession instead of it being love?
@laurawalker546 unfounded longing feelings...I'm sorry, but what does that mean. Wow...that was confusing (lol). ...sorry.
@girlygirl1890 I didn't write that comment but I am guessing that person is saying her feelings were over the top for the situation and it somehow felt wrong, like it was going to be something turning toxic. I am not sure
@@laurawalker546 Oops. Yep, I mistakenly put your name in my reply sentence. Thanks bunches for letting me know.🤣🤣
6:57 "In 90 days, he'll show you who he is."
you so gorgeous and beautiful like the morning star shining as bright as the diamonds 💎 🥰🥰🥰🥰 wanna get close to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
In my experience it's more like 30. No one can put on a fake persona for more than a month. Plus, by the 90 day mark, your heart is already getting attached.
First red flag: He's gotta be tall. TALL?????? How does that enrich your life?
Hello my lady how are you
True dat! I've got a 6'5" that stuck with me from day one fast and furious to get married. Needless to say I take care of myself and all he does is nothing. My red flag is now burnt to a crisp.
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
…basically Snoop Dog or this guy who was handsome of a serial killer fits her portray
😂😂 I agree maybe it’s keeps the relationship TALL
Thanks for the reminders, Steve! 🎉😂❤
Your intuition does not work if you have CPTSD. It’s actually your enemy until you heal.
I think this should just be for people in general. In my experience I had this same experience with a few woman and it really took a toll on me in every single way. Women just get coddled when it happens to them. Men are told to just deal with it
Just deal with it 😅
Hey
Resigning from the flag team. Not stuffing any more flags in these pockets. 😅
You and me both, girl. Good luck. 🥰❤️
Speaking as a man, I find that some of these points don’t hold true for me. It’s important to remember that red flags are subjective and can vary from person to person. For instance, men can show red flags too, such as being overly needy, always letting the woman take the lead, or expecting the woman to pay for everything.
In my relationship, my girlfriend and I have an understanding about our communication. We both have busy work schedules, so we don’t always respond to each other’s texts right away. We’re understanding and patient with each other because we know that work can get in the way.
Ultimately, what constitutes a red flag really depends on the individual’s perspective, not what some celebrity or popular opinion might suggest. It’s about understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries and communication styles."
This. What works for y'all works for y'all.
Moves too quickly is 3 red flags by itself 😂
you so gorgeous and beautiful like the morning star shining as bright as the diamonds 💎 🥰🥰🥰🥰 wanna get close to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰
You can't change an individual but you can change yourself.
Exactly ladies! So all true. I was definitely fooled by a con narcissist
Hello my lady how are you
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
I wish Steve Harvey was the Dad I never had. He’s got it all figured out ❤
Definitely narcissistic, when they want to see you the following day and every following day after that or....when they call/text too often.
And you're right about inconsistency. I don't understand guys these days. They're not consistent anymore. I'm 44, and I date guys around my age. The older they get the more immature and inconsistent they become. Most guys!
Okay that's really great to hear such there are thing that are left unsaid so you don't get shattered during the process. That come in form of lack of trust.
The older they become the more immature and inconsistent 😮lol I kinda disagree sweetheart 😊 Do you mind if we talk about this topic?
My husband and I had a 3 hour first date. However we had met online and had only been able to talk by phone or email at first because he was out of town for work for the first month that we met. Our first date went very well and then he called right away afterwards on his own which was nice. He did travel but would want to see me as much as possible when he was in town. We held off sex for over a month though. So wanting to see a lot of you is fine I think as long as they aren’t trying to rush along physical intimacy.
Hello Beautiful, How are you doing?
You sure have a nice smile 😊
We can become the best couples ever ❤️
One month is not enough to know a person before jumping in to bed. How did you pull it off? At least half a year would give you enough time to establish a friendship, meet family and best friends.
Thank you. Sex is a big factor in the conversation
@@iolanthamHe wasn’t in town for it
Love you Steve. So glad judge Steve is back. You bring such
Joy to my day. Youre
So funny
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
So, this guy that I've been noticing for a couple of months came around to asking me for my number. I consulted with God before conversating with him. In my mind I got the word "friend". I think my instincts were telling me that he's good enough to be a friend. Anyway, long story short, I finally text him after two weeks to see what's up. We haven't even gone on a date yet and he said I love you! I absolutely found this strange. I wanted to say this is Love bombing but he doesn't text me enough to call it love-bombing. He let me know he was interested but then he pulled back. My Spidey senses are telling me that he has someone in his life who cares for him. I wouldn't want to get in between anything. He's definitely friend-zoned.
Though, not the way you thought, it might be
Hi handsome, I will like to more about you
Noone should loom to another person to make them happy. Happiness comes from within.
The butterfly's thing is BS! My husband still gives me butterflies everyday. He is an amazing man in everyway!
I think there is a difference between butterflies and anxiety feelings in our bodies. Hard to eat and focus on anything.
I agree with you and said the same thing. She needs to change that to a fearful anxiety not butterflies. Cause butterflies are that sweet feeling you feel when you see or talk to that person ❤
Agreed!
Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the two
@@MsRocksa I guess I can only speak for me, when I’m falling for someone or like them a lot, I get the nice butterflies 🦋 in my stomach. It’s not a sick or anxious feeling. It’s something quite different.
Omg!!! Yes I quickly stop a connection when there are butterflies in my stomach. Thank God❤
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣really you had to stop amazing.
@@MagnusKendrickyou so gorgeous and beautiful like the morning star shining as bright as the diamonds 💎 🥰🥰🥰🥰 wanna get close to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Most people have these flags in one form of another. I believe the main problem is people aren't aware that relationships require educating yourself about how to have a relationship.
That and self awareness is severely lacking.
Let's say someone makes sure their partner has none of these flags.
You still run into problems once emotional and sexual fulfilment isn't met
Hi handsome
Mr. Harvey,
Im listening. Thankyou!!
Men in general are not good enough, they are players, they are not loyal and they lie. Finding someone good is really hard.
I will be back!!
Thankyou for the Red Glags!!
Hello gorgeous lady
I was just going Thru the website hoping to meet someone nice and I came across your profile and I decided to say Hi 👋
you so gorgeous and beautiful like the morning star shining as bright as the diamonds 💎 🥰🥰🥰🥰 wanna get close to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I should have watched this video 6 months ago… would have saved me a lot of heartache but oh well, I’m glad regardless, I sure will use my head going forward ❤️
Hope you find your way good luck keep safe out there.
Hi
@@IsraelThomas-ck9kq hi☺️
I knew all these rules that why I remain single and happy, not in a hurry to find Mr Right. But have experienced red flags in previous relationship but got out as fast as I could. Single life is amazing I know myself and what I expect from a Man when in a relationship.