Society demonizes not caring - even though people who care about everything have crippling, anxiety, low self-esteem, a loud inner-critic and inevitably burnout.
Me too. Never really realized it could be caused by my adhd. I love sewing and crafting, but I can't seem to get myself motivated to do any projects for money. My motivation for wanting to do a project, is always for family/friends. So my motivation is love.
- Get clear on next steps (and where are dependency - Put things in a Calendar or planning tools that are used every day - Outsourcing accountability (todo lists etc) - Celebrate the things we do well - Take ntentional breaks
I can honestly say you are the most likeable person on UA-cam and possibly the nicest. Your genuine empathy oozes from your skin and you do not look like someone who's here to make a career or money, it actually looks like those are secondary and wanting to help others was first because of what it was like for you scrambling around in the dark for so long. 🙏🏽
I use what I call my “TA-DONE!” list. It’s a quick and messy handwritten list of what I’ve done. I include *everything* that I would have beaten myself up about had I not done it, so yeah, sometimes “brushed my teeth” makes the list! Traditional to-do lists tend to drain my energy and can be overwhelming, but “TA-DONE!” lists get me rolling into action and help me seek out tasks to complete so I can keep the wins going. The feeling is similar to what you describe when marking an X on your calendar. For some reason, it only works for me if it’s literally scribbled by hand, ideally with brightly colored pens. Writing neatly, using proper grammar, or typing it somehow kills the vibe.
@@jenniferdavis6608 White boards aren’t for me. The smears, smudges, no lines, and large size, plus they’re very public - more like a display. For me, it’s the process of cementing the ‘win’ in my brain and reinforcing good behavior to drown out the negative self-talk. I don’t need the list at all once it’s written and usually just trash it without review shortly thereafter. It’s been a game changer!
I love that they are many people like me out here experiencing the same ugh I’m so tired of not being consistent and it’s not like don’t want to 😅 thank you for this video please don’t stop making them
Not only did I feel you on the 26 hr days but they aren't even productive, for me, it's just 26 hr days of stressing and worrying how I have 12083 ideas but can't seem to pick or start any then just giving up.
I just discovered you while searching for help with clutter if your a woman with adhd. I remember realizing and writing down at 19 that my problem was consistency. Wasn’t diagnosed until I was 32 and now at 55 I’ve learned much during my journey. A lot of it I forget and relearn many times over 😂. Love hearing how others approach life on the daily and I’m glad I found you. ❤
Holy cow I’m so glad I saw this video today! I’ve watched it 2x and will watch again tomorrow to take notes. I love your content. It’s succinct and makes so much sense without shame or judgment. Thank you!
Oh my goodness.. im watching the second video and I already feel like you are changing my life for the better. I love the way you speak and explain things. I have never understood what was going on in my brain- having all these interests and talents and not being able to be consistent with any to manifest my dreams has been very saddening. I finally see some hope at the end of the tunnel. Thank you!!!
👋 i hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness prosperity love and peace 💞❤️🕊️🕊️ all over the world 🙏🌍 I'm originally from Canada currently living in Key West Florida☀️☀️☀️☀️and you where are you from if i may ask??.
3:35 Essentialism Greg mckeown. The one thing papasan and keller 4:00 get priorities straight and have the weight of different tasks known. 4:35 you have your reason for doing something right. Break down that reason to figure out why it motives you or why it doesn't 5:12 be clear on goal milestones and where you progress is at. Have goals to meet certain milestones to get serotonin rewards when hitting it. Also keep it in your mind by having things around that remind you of your goal so it's always in your mind 6:19 Once you have a solution to a problem figured out and the route to achieve it, make sure to check your work via breaking down the timeliness, thinking of potential blocks in the road and getting advice from others. 8:19 Make sure your goal is broken down into easy steps that only take a couple minutes and know exactly what to do next. Avoid dependence on factors outside yourself like people or timeframes 9:19 Write your goals down in a place where you have to return every day 10:40 celebrate achievements. Have a streak you can do like marking off days on a calander. Really drive home your progress and put it into your long term memory to facilitate that you're the chosen one
I'm seeing this two years hence, but I applaud this move. I wish more podcasters would take breaks, rather than just force out content. I'd rather have "occasional and brilliant" than constant and mediocre.
I love so much about these tips, especially the explanation of why it is necessary to celebrate completion, from a cognitive and identity-building standpoint - I feel like this will be priceless for me, as I never really placed importance on that (if I actually managed to complete something, that is) - thanks so much!
Visualize what “done” looks like! “How would I love this room to look like?” That’s when I can start putting away all the things that don’t belong on the kitchen table…. ❤️
ohmygod please never stop making videos! this is smth i struggle with so much, just like so many others, and i can’t express how much of a difference your videos make! thank you for making me feel like i’m not alone in this!
1.Simplify - Say No (Unrealistic Expectation) pick 1 thing at a time 2.Choose - Decide what u say no. so that u create ur working space which is needed for realising ur dreams 3.Motivate- Know ur why behind ur why. Write it down. 4. Visualize ur Product. Write it down in detail 5. Concretize ur Magical Thinking phase. write it down. Till here, was for DECIDE what u WANT 6. PLAN - Operationalize ur Priorities WHAT, WHO, HOW 7. EXECUTE - Put them on the Calendar WHERE, WHEN 8. CHECK - Externalize Accountability 9. PARTY TIME 😊 - Celebrate it. Look at wht u got it done. CONFIDENCE STUFF 10. DESERVE. U deserve taking BREAKS.
Omg, i did all those things. Five majors (would change every time they tried to make me take math), always listening to other people's "shoulds" even if they were just in my head. Now, at 54, im facing really commit to my not-very-good job or quit and try what I actually want to do. I don't regret my scattershot education, and I don't regret my years teaching since, but I am fairly sure I need to be done with it. (just terrified my ADHD brain won't let me succeed at those things, sigh. Sigh.
Well covered! 😂 now to get all that done hahaha. I needed a different video to help deal with all this progress task 😂 by bucketing part by part and by ruling principle values to actionable desirable actions
I think that tip about choosing one thing at a time is about to change my life. I LOVED j-term in college and always soaked up and continue to apply those concepts much more than any of my 4 multiple course semesters….. like I genuinely get sad in January now because I don’t have that anymore. And you just made me realize that I can create my own and explore my interests effectively. THANK YOU.
Ughhh the thing I’m so tired of and disappointing myself is the only thing I have is school not even proper school that I have to go school, all I have to do is study and take my exam and I set a schedule for my studies every day to what time I be studying and all that guess what I did that for one week and the next week I couldn’t even get up early, all my plans the whole - non , spent the rest of the week on bed and as the day goes by all I’m thinking is what I could’ve done. I keep asking myself what is it and my conclusion was I felt like I’m doing a chore and mundane and there is no excitement and I get that not every day is holiday but I like spontaneity , I like when I don’t plan on reading or studying and all of the sudden I get captured and finish the book and that feeling is the best. I don’t know,I just need help, beat this and take my exam. Please anybody help?
There is a part she says we're people pleasers. I don't know if that's how ADHD works in different people.But I am a nanny to a little 5 year old boy who was diagnosed with adhd. The last thing that he is is a people pleaser.He will.literally do everything in his power to make sure he pleases only himself.He doesn't just do this with me,but with his parents and everyone around me.
I've already started 2 more businesses on top of one that isn't doing so good. Now my weaknesses are out there for everyone to see coz I can't deliver well to everyone.
God bless you Caren!! God brought me to this channel for a reason! And I'm so happy about it. This is about the best video you have posted! GOLD complete GOLD!
Focus on one thing at a time. Decide what you’re going to say No to. Know the “Why” behind your why. Be clear on what “done” looks like. Avoid magical thinking. Calendar block your time. Celebrate completion. Take intentional breaks.
9:54 You say you'll link some videos on how you plan your weeks months and quarters, but I can't seem to find any video links in the description for those things? Could you please provide those resource links? Struggling to stay organized. Thank you!
It was at about the 5:30 mark that I said “Caren has a microchip in my brain and is reporting on everything I go through.” I don’t have a diagnosis, but it’s finally time to seek that out. Tired of living this way.
It's hard for me to set goals and work on accomplishing because I need instant and consistent feedback or "dopamine increase" for me to start motivated. That's why it's hard to lose weight because I need to see and feel some positive results daily instead of weekly or monthly. I'll get initially excited, but soon lose the excitement which decreases my motivation. Any and all feedback is welcomed.
Fun fact, everyone who does have ADD or ADH. D as an adult, it's not always a people pleaser. Or tries to be a people pleaser or wants to be a people pleaser. I just need help with consistency, and I don't want to be labeled.As such this is f****** annoying
“Interest driven brain” wow, first time I’ve heard of this concept. I have heard that certain individuals on the autism spectrum being able to hyper focus on things that draw their interests but the term Interest Driven Brain…hmmm is this becoming more common speech in the scientific community??
Omg why are you calling me out? Putting things on a calender and then forget to look at it. Oh all the unused calenders and planners I've had in my life..
Okay but do you take adhd medication because lists are my fucking problem. 😂 it’s the execution of the list. Even with intention I go for a week and then… BAM I stop, and I don’t even realize I did.
Listening to the part about knowing why behind your why i just remember dumping my midnight thoughts in my notes 3 years back and writing “do we really love the things we love or is it because of the people around us”. I am starting research on ADHD because when someone explains how ADHD works i just feel like they’re explaining the inner me 😭😭 i reallyy wanna deal with it right now but not sure if i am interested in it tomorrow 🥲🥲
The tip about having an emotional connection to a task is so spot on. That is the main reason why I can't follow through with things.
Society demonizes not caring - even though people who care about everything have crippling, anxiety, low self-esteem, a loud inner-critic and inevitably burnout.
This comment to remind you, a year later 😊
Me too. Never really realized it could be caused by my adhd. I love sewing and crafting, but I can't seem to get myself motivated to do any projects for money. My motivation for wanting to do a project, is always for family/friends. So my motivation is love.
I'm trying to figure out how to emotionally connect to my bills and paperwork. If they could talk or meow or squeak, it would be MUCH easier for me.
-picking one thing at a time
-deciding what to say no to
-know why behind why
- be. Clear on what done looks like
-
And stop magical
Thinking ❤ thank you for this
- Get clear on next steps (and where are dependency
- Put things in a Calendar or planning tools that are used every day
- Outsourcing accountability (todo lists etc)
- Celebrate the things we do well
- Take ntentional breaks
I can honestly say you are the most likeable person on UA-cam and possibly the nicest. Your genuine empathy oozes from your skin and you do not look like someone who's here to make a career or money, it actually looks like those are secondary and wanting to help others was first because of what it was like for you scrambling around in the dark for so long. 🙏🏽
I use what I call my “TA-DONE!” list. It’s a quick and messy handwritten list of what I’ve done. I include *everything* that I would have beaten myself up about had I not done it, so yeah, sometimes “brushed my teeth” makes the list! Traditional to-do lists tend to drain my energy and can be overwhelming, but “TA-DONE!” lists get me rolling into action and help me seek out tasks to complete so I can keep the wins going. The feeling is similar to what you describe when marking an X on your calendar.
For some reason, it only works for me if it’s literally scribbled by hand, ideally with brightly colored pens. Writing neatly, using proper grammar, or typing it somehow kills the vibe.
I love this.
I've tried white boards for my son and he just doesn't pay attention so maybe I'll try hand written notes instead.
@@jenniferdavis6608 White boards aren’t for me. The smears, smudges, no lines, and large size, plus they’re very public - more like a display. For me, it’s the process of cementing the ‘win’ in my brain and reinforcing good behavior to drown out the negative self-talk. I don’t need the list at all once it’s written and usually just trash it without review shortly thereafter. It’s been a game changer!
I’m consistently inconsistent lol 😂
lol!
Thissss😂😅 can feel this!
Saaaaaaame! I'm great at it.
@@Infojunkie-lj1up lol 😆
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 WHY!!!?
We don’t like being predictable. Adventure not simple is what is harder then creating
I love that they are many people like me out here experiencing the same ugh I’m so tired of not being consistent and it’s not like don’t want to 😅 thank you for this video please don’t stop making them
Not only did I feel you on the 26 hr days but they aren't even productive, for me, it's just 26 hr days of stressing and worrying how I have 12083 ideas but can't seem to pick or start any then just giving up.
Same!!! (((Sigh)))
I just discovered you while searching for help with clutter if your a woman with adhd. I remember realizing and writing down at 19 that my problem was consistency. Wasn’t diagnosed until I was 32 and now at 55 I’ve learned much during my journey. A lot of it I forget and relearn many times over 😂. Love hearing how others approach life on the daily and I’m glad I found you. ❤
You described me too😂🥲 and I hate relearning stuff its so frustrating. Atleast now I have a direction.
55 male and just searched online an agency to help me. I accepted defeat and now willing to pay 💰
Can you please make a video about how to implement these things? I like these videos but they’re still too abstract for me 😢
Yeah think so
Holy cow I’m so glad I saw this video today! I’ve watched it 2x and will watch again tomorrow to take notes. I love your content. It’s succinct and makes so much sense without shame or judgment. Thank you!
Yes! Thank you so much for reflecting that. It's always my intent!
Oh my goodness.. im watching the second video and I already feel like you are changing my life for the better. I love the way you speak and explain things. I have never understood what was going on in my brain- having all these interests and talents and not being able to be consistent with any to manifest my dreams has been very saddening. I finally see some hope at the end of the tunnel. Thank you!!!
You are so welcome! I'm glad they are resonating with you!!!
👋 i hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness prosperity love and peace 💞❤️🕊️🕊️ all over the world 🙏🌍
I'm originally from Canada currently living in Key West Florida☀️☀️☀️☀️and you where are you from if i may ask??.
3:35 Essentialism Greg mckeown. The one thing papasan and keller
4:00 get priorities straight and have the weight of different tasks known.
4:35 you have your reason for doing something right. Break down that reason to figure out why it motives you or why it doesn't
5:12 be clear on goal milestones and where you progress is at. Have goals to meet certain milestones to get serotonin rewards when hitting it. Also keep it in your mind by having things around that remind you of your goal so it's always in your mind
6:19 Once you have a solution to a problem figured out and the route to achieve it, make sure to check your work via breaking down the timeliness, thinking of potential blocks in the road and getting advice from others.
8:19 Make sure your goal is broken down into easy steps that only take a couple minutes and know exactly what to do next. Avoid dependence on factors outside yourself like people or timeframes
9:19 Write your goals down in a place where you have to return every day
10:40 celebrate achievements. Have a streak you can do like marking off days on a calander. Really drive home your progress and put it into your long term memory to facilitate that you're the chosen one
I'm seeing this two years hence, but I applaud this move. I wish more podcasters would take breaks, rather than just force out content. I'd rather have "occasional and brilliant" than constant and mediocre.
I love so much about these tips, especially the explanation of why it is necessary to celebrate completion, from a cognitive and identity-building standpoint - I feel like this will be priceless for me, as I never really placed importance on that (if I actually managed to complete something, that is) - thanks so much!
Thank you for sharing this! I hope your break is helpful for you as you work forward in your goals!
Thank you so much!
Visualize what “done” looks like! “How would I love this room to look like?” That’s when I can start putting away all the things that don’t belong on the kitchen table…. ❤️
ohmygod please never stop making videos! this is smth i struggle with so much, just like so many others, and i can’t express how much of a difference your videos make! thank you for making me feel like i’m not alone in this!
1.Simplify - Say No (Unrealistic Expectation) pick 1 thing at a time
2.Choose - Decide what u say no. so that u create ur working space which is needed for realising ur dreams
3.Motivate- Know ur why behind ur why. Write it down.
4. Visualize ur Product. Write it down in detail
5. Concretize ur Magical Thinking phase. write it down.
Till here, was for DECIDE what u WANT
6. PLAN - Operationalize ur Priorities WHAT, WHO, HOW
7. EXECUTE - Put them on the Calendar WHERE, WHEN
8. CHECK - Externalize Accountability
9. PARTY TIME 😊 - Celebrate it. Look at wht u got it done. CONFIDENCE STUFF
10. DESERVE. U deserve taking BREAKS.
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy is good as well.
I’m just giggling because it all sounds so simple, BUT the way you explain these things just makes sense ❤
Omg, i did all those things. Five majors (would change every time they tried to make me take math), always listening to other people's "shoulds" even if they were just in my head. Now, at 54, im facing really commit to my not-very-good job or quit and try what I actually want to do. I don't regret my scattershot education, and I don't regret my years teaching since, but I am fairly sure I need to be done with it. (just terrified my ADHD brain won't let me succeed at those things, sigh. Sigh.
saw this.. and caught my attention but first thing I did after watching several minutes.. if you're still posting.. and yes! you still do! :))))
Know your why behind your why is a good one!
She’s describing my life
I wish I could pay you for this or support you in any way, but I am a student and you have already helped me a lot. I wish you the very best.
Well covered! 😂 now to get all that done hahaha. I needed a different video to help deal with all this progress task 😂 by bucketing part by part and by ruling principle values to actionable desirable actions
I just found this channel. I think I can love it. And thank you.
You're welcome!
I think that tip about choosing one thing at a time is about to change my life. I LOVED j-term in college and always soaked up and continue to apply those concepts much more than any of my 4 multiple course semesters….. like I genuinely get sad in January now because I don’t have that anymore. And you just made me realize that I can create my own and explore my interests effectively. THANK YOU.
Wow. I thought one thing which I normally do was bad. Thanks for the advice.
Quite frankly I have never been diagnosed with adhd but this year I have been thinking that I do have it. This video was so helpful
Appreciate the personal stories and practical steps. Thanks, Caren!
Thanks, Morgan!!!!
Ughhh the thing I’m so tired of and disappointing myself is the only thing I have is school not even proper school that I have to go school, all I have to do is study and take my exam and I set a schedule for my studies every day to what time I be studying and all that guess what I did that for one week and the next week I couldn’t even get up early, all my plans the whole - non , spent the rest of the week on bed and as the day goes by all I’m thinking is what I could’ve done. I keep asking myself what is it and my conclusion was I felt like I’m doing a chore and mundane and there is no excitement and I get that not every day is holiday but I like spontaneity , I like when I don’t plan on reading or studying and all of the sudden I get captured and finish the book and that feeling is the best. I don’t know,I just need help, beat this and take my exam. Please anybody help?
Thank you Caren for your beautiful and amazing videos. They are SO helpful❤
thank you for this! this was amazing
This is a good presentation
So happy I found your channel. Love your energy, and I got a bunch of great tips from you. (Although I still don't know if I have ADHD.)
I love magical thinking... love it!
I've been watching your videos all weekend, so helpful. Thank you for making these video. I really appreciate that.
thank you!!!! I appreciate you watching them!
Amazing video!!! Thank you so much for putting the time in making it!
My pleasure!
Thank you
That's a great video. Too many important points briefly discussed. Thanks
There is a part she says we're people pleasers. I don't know if that's how ADHD works in different people.But I am a nanny to a little 5 year old boy who was diagnosed with adhd. The last thing that he is is a people pleaser.He will.literally do everything in his power to make sure he pleases only himself.He doesn't just do this with me,but with his parents and everyone around me.
If only I could stay consistent. I would get FAR in life and I know it 😢
I've already started 2 more businesses on top of one that isn't doing so good.
Now my weaknesses are out there for everyone to see coz I can't deliver well to everyone.
Very helpful tips! Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
We love you Caren!
I don't have ADHD, but at this point I'm trying everything that might work lol
God bless you Caren!! God brought me to this channel for a reason! And I'm so happy about it. This is about the best video you have posted! GOLD complete GOLD!
welcome! I'm glad you're here.
Focus on one thing at a time.
Decide what you’re going to say No to.
Know the “Why” behind your why.
Be clear on what “done” looks like.
Avoid magical thinking.
Calendar block your time.
Celebrate completion.
Take intentional breaks.
1. One thing at a time
- why is important??
- another why??
- be clear what done looks like
- magic thibking impulsively
9:54 You say you'll link some videos on how you plan your weeks months and quarters, but I can't seem to find any video links in the description for those things? Could you please provide those resource links? Struggling to stay organized. Thank you!
Thank you for calling that out, Tara! Here's a playlist of videos for you. ua-cam.com/play/PLGIy8-DZZV1xGXXJf4D05KT9uXWt_VMh8.html
You are super helpful
Not sure if she taught any practical things that you can apply, just felt like some words put together to make it looks like she's teaching something.
You’re brilliant 🎉
It was at about the 5:30 mark that I said “Caren has a microchip in my brain and is reporting on everything I go through.”
I don’t have a diagnosis, but it’s finally time to seek that out. Tired of living this way.
You got a new subscriber ❤
It understand it’s a good advice but it’d be great if you have an easy example to make it less abstract
Awesome video
Suggestion from an ADHD kid - add more visuals and/or make it much shorter. We get distracted and need the immediate and the shiny!!
It's hard for me to set goals and work on accomplishing because I need instant and consistent feedback or "dopamine increase" for me to start motivated. That's why it's hard to lose weight because I need to see and feel some positive results daily instead of weekly or monthly. I'll get initially excited, but soon lose the excitement which decreases my motivation. Any and all feedback is welcomed.
3:40-books she reccomends
awesome video
How do you make the calendar fun. I HATE it….
Colors, stickers, emojis. I found that star stickers help a lot lol
I use a Eisenhower matrix in Notion, so I can add emojis and check off a task when it’s finished.
What does done look like?
Fun fact, everyone who does have ADD or ADH. D as an adult, it's not always a people pleaser. Or tries to be a people pleaser or wants to be a people pleaser. I just need help with consistency, and I don't want to be labeled.As such this is f****** annoying
Oof. I’ve tried all of this and none of these work
Someone please explain what "snizzled on" is, I keep imagining being sneezed on and that cannot be right xD
Do you work with a naturopath to manage ADHD?
No
Right brain /left brain not the executive function in the middle
“Interest driven brain” wow, first time I’ve heard of this concept. I have heard that certain individuals on the autism spectrum being able to hyper focus on things that draw their interests but the term Interest Driven Brain…hmmm is this becoming more common speech in the scientific community??
i let my emotions control everything until now… i lived more in my head
Omg why are you calling me out? Putting things on a calender and then forget to look at it. Oh all the unused calenders and planners I've had in my life..
I am consistently inconsistent ?!*
Okay but do you take adhd medication because lists are my fucking problem. 😂 it’s the execution of the list. Even with intention I go for a week and then… BAM I stop, and I don’t even realize I did.
I dont know why I would paint my whole house. LOL. I did a room and paid for the rest.
what do you do if youre not interested in anything and youre just fucking tired lol
sleep!
Investigate the possibility of depression- especially if you’re not interested in anything.
I can not trust my brain any more
Mam,love you and your channel but the beginning of your video gave me the most ADHD temptation to change the video😅
Wiiwiwiwow
No friends duh
But I CAN diy difficult things I have no prior experience with. 😜☝️
I felt very attacked at the magical thinking part
I just want to be normal
How will my future wife handle me? She will divorce me on the wedding night
Listening to the part about knowing why behind your why i just remember dumping my midnight thoughts in my notes 3 years back and writing “do we really love the things we love or is it because of the people around us”.
I am starting research on ADHD because when someone explains how ADHD works i just feel like they’re explaining the inner me 😭😭 i reallyy wanna deal with it right now but not sure if i am interested in it tomorrow 🥲🥲