ADHD Routines - how to build habits that actually WORK
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- Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
- Think you can’t create routines because you have ADHD? Think again! In this video, I debunk the idea of not being able to create and sustain routines just because you have ADHD. I’ll show you WHY you struggle to create routines, and what the trick is to finding routines that stick.
By the end of this video, you’ll know exactly where to start with designing your own perfect ADHD-Friendly routine. Let’s get into it!
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👋 C O M E S A Y H I !
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Would love to see a video on how to hold yourself accountable… there’s been so many times where I just don’t do something because the consequences are minimal to nonexistent. For example, turning in projects late because no one will notice or say anything. How do I make “consequences” for myself when no one else will, and how do I actually follow through with said “consequences”? I can intellectualize procrastination and avoidance all I want, but at some point I have to actually DO something about the procrastination and avoidance.
agreed!
Okay, I will do that. But to answer your question - if there is no consequences for not doing something, then you have to be intrinsically motivated to do it. If you're not, then you won't. There's no magic bullet when it comes to personal accountability. The real issue here is that we expect that if we say we want to do something (like running a marathon), we will. But if we don't REALLY want to run a marathon, we won't do it.
@runkirgurlexe
I've just watched David Brooks' video on The Four Commitments--maybe at a tangent to your question, and maybe useful.
If there are no consequences to not doing it, does it really need to be done? If nothing positive or negative will happen doing or not doing the activity then, your brain has probably already worked out, that it isn't necessary
@@angelaclarke3305 Yep, it's part of how I prioritize things at work. I'll just flat out stop ordering things because they annoy me and keep not ordering them until somebody complains about it. It's not like I haven't got a lot of other things to deal with than a few products that nobody really wants in the first place.
It's completely legitimate to prioritize based on what's going to cause the most problems for not doing them. Although it can be tricky when the issue comes significantly after you didn't do whatever it was.
I’ve started using a whiteboard to check off daily accomplishments. My goal is to complete 3 a day building upon it as I go.
Ok, so only 4mins in and I feel seen/called out 😂. Yup you have just totally described my attempts at morning routines.
41 years without knowing i had adhd but my issues with routines or habits have been there my whole life
I am trying to create a whole new life routine! 😂😂 Late nights & rushed mornings. Hitting the snooze button repeatedly!
i love the focus on shifting the mindset, so many ADHDers seem to use it as an excuse for things, rather than trying to find ways to work WITH our neurodivergency (I'm guilty of this too). my autism craves routines + consistency, but my ADHD fights those tendencies lol, i do best with "loose" routines over strict ones, ie workout before my first meal of the day, finish the important work before fun/ hobbies, stuff like that. thanks for all you do Caren!
I think u really caught something there. I am from a country where noone even thinks of add and adhd as disorders, they just see it as a temperment thing. I went on for 25 years of my life knowing i function a bit different than my friends but not even for a swcond thinking its a disorder. Over the years, espeecially during highschool, i ended up developing mechanisms on my own that just worked for me and made me more functional - to such an extent that people that met me from university onwards thought im just naturally well organised, attentive, decisive, have good memory, attentive etc not realising how hard i worked to find a way to build it up from literally losing personal items weekly
I got diagnosed at 25 by a friend that is by profession a psychiatrist
And i just know that if i found out earlier i 100% wouldve used it as an excuse with parents and teachers
Am leaving this here primarily hoping someone without access to meds/treatment might find it encouraging
@@neferuaten3954 I found this encouraging. Thanks!
🎉🎉 We also must remember to use explanations to motivate our *next actions* & not to motivate our *next excuses.*
Its very interessting how removing friction alone works wonders for me. I wanted to start running because my thoughts get cleared up while doing it. I had a hard time sticking to it though because i was tired, or i had to eat first but then it would be too late , or i had a friend over... and so on and so forth. So i decided to run in the morning. During summer i luckily dont struggle getting up early. The only friction existing was if i didnt sleep enough which barely happens. I was able to hold up my routine then and i even ran a 4km charity run a few months later. Hitting thi goal made me even more motivated because before that i couldnt even run 2 minutes without being out of breath
Lmao to what you said part abt watching vids of the 20-somethings and their morning routine vids and then wondering why it doesn’t work ha ha loooove ur channel!😂😂 I’m 44 . Ur so refreshing in ur adhd content.
I'm 23 and I roll my eyes at their videos too lol. I don't have the energy or motivation
The question thats been helping me is journaling about my Why often... Whenever i think about the misery i felt before I started over again... It literally lights my a$$ up to get up and get working😅
Me too, sometimes I have to purposely recall defeat to light me up for prevention
Please write a book, do more coaching, mentor a group. I want more of you. 😊
3:02 you’ve just described the past 2 years of my life. I’ve found that the more I silence the outside voices, the more I’m figuring out what I actually need to do for myself
This is so helpful. Like many ppl watching, I’m 43 and just realizing I probably have ADHD. I can’t wait to learn more ways to support myself instead of fighting against myself! All of this resonates so much! Thank you!
Thanks! It's great to feel empowered again instead of blaming the "bad, bad" ADHD in unsuccessful moments...
Ikr!!! Makes all the difference
I'm only 4 minutes in and I feel SO SEEN 😂
I'm not done with the video but the morning routine you described is exactly what my every day is like. And I have also tried watching videos of other people's morning routines and your description is so accurate I had to comment. Omg.
I had actually gotten into a routine of being AT the gym at 05:00 when they opened 3-4 times a week and kept it up for nearly a year. The COVID shutdowns destroyed everything.
What helped you make it a routine back then? Anything you can reimplement now?
@@CarenMagill I had a friend that I went with, and that was a huge motivator. If I woke up that morning not feeling like getting up, I still had that voice in my head telling me not to be a crappy friend and bail on him or keep him waiting. Unfortunately, his schedule has changed now and no longer allows for early morning workouts.
I feel excited about doing a routine but also sad because I know I don't do them... i agree with the theory, but there's no practical way its going to happen... i need a buddy system... to get me started going...to get routine routining.... great video though....
Try Focusmate or something similar.
I am so glad I found you! The reference to the influencer with the Matcha and bubble bath - made me stop looking for answers online for a bit. It is like getting advice for skincare for aging from a 23 yr old. Noooooo. Finding help for my real job and my real life was nearly impossible until now. I don't want to use my ADHD as an excuse, I want to make it work for me. But the overwhelm and the paralysis and now the "Friction" are things I didn't know how to fix. This is a step in the right direction. Singular mom of busy kids, both with special needs, sole caretaker of mom w/early onset dementia, high demand career in a field w/ almost all men and then add peri-menopause to that fun mix. For the first time, in a long time, I had a genuine sigh of relief. Thank you for that
Thank you, I'll definitely try the friction points approach! Also A lot of other adhd videos on the subject feel sort of... juvenile? Like talking in a hyper character voice and playing a ukulele. You are very clear in your points without unnecessary bits and cut-ins and gimmicks and I feel like we are talking on the same level instead of a children's entertainer trying to jiggle keys so I listen to their lecture, so thank you
ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS Caren!!! I can not tell you how many other podcast/online creators i listen to that tell you what to do, all the while I'm in the corner beating myself to death because I'm not able to do what they do (it's also interesting to note that the podcasters I listen to are ex-military), and feeling guilty for it. I love your approach of teaching people how to be better advocates for themselves. Thank you so much!
You didn't have to call me out like that @1:35-4:25... the accuracy seriously got me shook.
Caren, I’m not sure this is the video because I’ve watched so many but thanks you so much for sharing you have on a wig!!! I like you 300% more! I think it’s one main reason people like Mel Robbin’s so much! She mostly just flips her hair in a banana clip. Getting ‘fixed up’ has never been my thing but I have a very feminine identity. It’s a contradiction and my lack of makeup sometimes even confuses my own identity and I can even fall into acting masculine. Which is truly not me but society associates ‘fixed up’ with femininity. All that to say you are so much more real to me now! I wasn’t relating because you looked so perfect. I’m 65, my IQ is 148 and I’ve just stumbled through life. Divorced 20 years. 18 hours on a psychology masters, 32 hours on a philosophy masters, disillusioned in both! There is no new thought!!! Anyway, thanks for your videos!!! They help.
I’m so glad I found your channel! Last night I looked up “why do I jump from job to job” and you popped up. I was hesitant and a bit skeptical about the ADHD coaching title but I listened and related to everything you said! I think in a way I’ve been in denial about me having ADHD because I don’t like making excuses for myself but it DOES explain why I struggle with adulting so much! 😓 I feel seen and heard now and I would love to contact you personally. I definitely could use guidance
Thank you so much for this video! I ran from routines so hard in my 20's/30's because I thought they were boring but now I see that they are truly the key to accomplishing goals. Lately I've spent a lot of time just asking myself in my journal, "what do I want next year?" "what do I want in 2025?" (A five-year plan is too scary haha). Then I figure out what I need to do daily to get the things I want and try to figure out how to remove the friction. Not perfect but it's getting better. Longtime fan of your videos, Caren! 😍Thank you for the reminder that nothing is wrong, you just need to know how your mind works.
You’re on the right track Alicia! That’s exactly what to ask yourself. I can’t do 5 year plans either. The world is moving too fast for that.
Thx for the kind words!!
Routine...what's that?! Sounds nice!
Oh my goodness, I JUST found you like literally 20 minutes ago when I watched your video on Natural Ways to Better Manage ADHD….5 tips plus a bonus one….
I noticed it was put out a bit ago but clicked on next one, this one and …. yep, like I guessed earlier, you have become my new inspiration!!!
I think you’re the bomb!! 💣❤
This vid was so enlightening to me!! I am so grateful to you I could cry! 🙏🙏 Thank you so much for putting so clearly the accent on the importance to find our own way to manage our lives, to explore what works the best for us... without insisting in trying to be or behave like a neurotypical
This is actually incredibly helpful! I SUCK at getting up in the morning but I never thought about how important it is to change my evening routine to make things easier in the morning
Guess I'm blowing the dust off my habit tracker today! Thank you Caren, I really needed to hear this!
This was wonderful! I never thought about eliminating friction points!
Thank you this is the most helpful video I've listened to in my 49 years ❤
I really appreciate this topic choice ❤
It used to help when my dog had his “habits” I would base everything around him. He’s gotten older and less demanding aka lazy so now we’re both without a routine lol
Thank you for this!!
I don't think my bad habits are actually a routine. They're not a similar time, they're just out of dopamine chasing. The only habits I've been able to create are ones I've done for 20+ years and done in one swoop, like closing the front door of the house or putting my seatbelt on in the car.
I want to thank you for your openness in sharing both your basic approaches and practical examples in this and other videos. I have lupus or something in that ball park that after a lifetime is finally getting diagnosed and treated. It was really hard for me to admit how much my appearance was holding me back from doing youtube and a lot else -- and therefore impossible to deal with constructively. Also, it fluctuates, so I dawdle between waiting it out and buying some Blind Po' Boy cokebottle glasses. I would hear the Greek Chorus if I let my butterfly rash show and I'd hear them if I tried to cover it up!
Really resonates thank you
I had to get an external source to tell me that... hmm... maybe I should listen to myself, body and mind hhahaaha thanks I needed that ...
Your videos are like
How does she know me so well!
Thank you thank you ❤
Good pointers. I really like your emphasis on listening to inner self more than succumbing to “trend”. I have never found value in following others’ routines in almost every field. It’s extremely custom for me.
I saw you a couple of minutes ago. And I love what you say! 50 yo, diagnosed a couple of months ago. Hugs!
Timestamp 5:14 - "...you know all you need to know. You are your own guide. You must find your own path..." this was the message a guide/mentor gave to me in a lucid dream about people swimming with the flow of the river and me washed up on the side of the bank. I didn't really understand the import of that revelation until you just spoke a similar sentiment. At 58, I have only recently been diagnosed, and much of my mental messaging, that I've carried for 30+ years, has been wasted on me not knowing the context in which to apply it. Show me a wall where I can beat my head! At least I know that after I stop, sometime later, I WILL feel better, if momentarily...
I can’t make myself do anything consistently. It’s chaos. Only basic survival is routine. Sometimes not even that.
You mentioned slowing down. I have a lot of trouble slowing down. It feels like I usually am on autopilot. How do I slow down so that I can improve? Because when I do slow down, I am able to do so for 2 days and then I 'forget' about it. Kind of like a habit. But it's a bit difficult to change the basis of attentiveness as a habit if your bad habit is at the center of that function of the brain 😅
Thank you 🙏🏻🥲
Such great information 🎉❤
Glad it was helpful!
Thanks 😢
Thx!!!! I hate strength training and am having a hard time adding it to my routine, at the same time I know (medically) that this is what I should do because of muscle wasting after menopause. What should I do?
Find a form of strength training that you enjoy. There are so many. Barre, pilaties, power yoga - it doesn't have to be lifting weights.
Yes ❤
Currently unmedicafed and just recently diagnosed. I know I feel better when I do yoga and outdoor walking habits. I seem to struggle most with task intitiaon, cognivite flexability and impluse control. I have adjusted my daily habit to get up around 5:15 am. I leave for my one hour commute around 6:50 am. I waste so much time scrolling each morning. I do get in a healthy breakfast but that is it. I do set out clothes, make lunch etc night before. All my work stuff is located in same spot ready to go every day. It's the exercise and meditation practice I am struggling with.
Same here
I have had good routines most of my life. I create good routines for my kids. However lately I’ve got into bad habits. I have always been a night owl and I fight with myself to go to bed early. I think for me after dealing with everyone else’s needs all day the hours of 9-11 pm are mine to do whatever I want not what I “need” to do. I am in a very busy time in my life with young kids and a partner who works long hours so I don’t have a lot of time to just let my brain wander. I think I need to put in more regular breaks in my day and allow myself that time instead of saving it all till 9pm. I was in the military for years and so that helped with routine but now I am so out of whack. I feel guilty if I am not working all day. But I don’t then have enough time or then later in the day, energy, to do the things I know make me a better human like excercise. I understand the point about doing what’s good for your body and brain but I don’t know how to fit it in around all the other people’s needs I have to meet.
This is off topic but she is fr the most gorgeous 53 year old I’ve ever seen, she looks so young and healthy and prettttyyyyy and smart and wise
She read me to the tea 😂😂
Hi , I really like your hair
thanks! It's a wig :)
@@CarenMagillI would’ve have never realized omg suits you perfectly
You just called me out so hard for the first 3 mins of this video
Literally, it’s fake it until you make it😂😂😂
yep!
Guys My English so bad can summary please
For the ADHDers that drink to help their sleep don’t. Did it for 7 years and let’s just say the experience is a 0 out of 10 and I would not recommend it. Also coming home and doing nothing but sitting one your phone and gaming is another 0 out of 10. Umm large quantities of energy drinks is another one. Basically anything that can be bad to do regularly in large quantities is a bad idea.
Can we hit the like button? 🎉
Man, I wish you put a time stamp so I could skip the "I can relate" part.
routines make me depressed because its predictable and boring
Then make them interesting.
@@CarenMagill Yeah, I started bicycling to work with arms behind my back but thats to easy, thinking about attaching wakeboard handle to the buss with my skate now :D
i don't know if this is just me, but she sounds like an Australian doing an American accent
you are 53??? Woman I- please tell us your Secret..