Why is the narcissist ignoring you?

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  • Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
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    Become a Member here!: / @thenamelessnarcissist
    Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. And here I discuss my own personal experience living with narcissistic personality disorder. Including the symptoms and behaviors associated with this disorder, as well as how it has affected my life. I also share some of my coping strategies and how I have been able to manage the disorder, along with helping you understanding your loved ones and their behaviors that may seem almost incomprehensible and potentially hurtful. Hopefully, my channel will provide insight into what it's like to live with narcissistic personality disorder, as well as what it's like for your loved ones. Thank you for watching!
    If you wanna keep updated on Pathological narcissism and NPD, check out my other social media.
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    For business inquires or other private communication: thenamelessnarcissist@gmail.com
    #narcissist #clusterB #gaslighting #npd #mentalhealth #BPD #narcissism #narcissisticabuse #gaslighting #mentalhealthawareness

КОМЕНТАРІ • 217

  • @teresaz7152
    @teresaz7152 Рік тому +135

    Being vulnerable actually shows the most strength in most people's eyes ❤

    • @teresaz7152
      @teresaz7152 Рік тому +3

      @@johnwebb4499 I agree. Strong boundaries are in order. I was stating it for the narcissist expressing vulnerability and seeing it as a sign of weakness. Don't get it twisted. I'm nice until I'm not. Ya feel me?

    • @teresaz7152
      @teresaz7152 Рік тому +6

      @johnwebb4499 I agree. I really appreciate his commentary. It's hard I imagine for anyone to come out and be so open. I always see the kid in all of us, and have compassion and also understand that we are all adults now and that as an adult someone unhealed can possibly be very dangerous to us and our emotional and physical well being. There's a fine line there.

    • @bjb0808
      @bjb0808 Рік тому +2

      Wow. The first video of yours I've seen. The honesty is painful, but more painful is hearing the confusion and distorted inner dialogue. I truly hope you can heal.

    • @shayaeido8405
      @shayaeido8405 Рік тому

      YES YES YES 🙌🏼

    • @brandonmcalpin9228
      @brandonmcalpin9228 Рік тому +4

      Strongly disagree 😂 Being vulnerable at the correct time and place, under the conditions that the person is ready to hear it and also not being 100% raw at the same time. Otherwise, it’s inappropriate and will scare the person off. There’s always conditions.

  • @user-bd9uo8dw3j
    @user-bd9uo8dw3j Рік тому +44

    You ghost me I ghost you. You give me silent treatment I will give you silent treatment. I move on.

    • @fdog4533
      @fdog4533 2 місяці тому

      If they weren't Narcassistic, than this wouldn't be happening

    • @brehaggins874
      @brehaggins874 Місяць тому

      I move on…they can’t 😂🩷

  • @hopflo11
    @hopflo11 Рік тому +121

    1- he’s busy with new supply - your potential replacement
    2- he’s busy with other supply- potential replacement , or otherwise - and is *also*punishing you or correcting your behaviour
    3- he’s got a replacement he’s moving on with - but doesn’t want you fucking it up
    4- any of the above and he needs you to freak out so he can dump you bc you’re crazy and angry and it’s your fault
    5- you’re a nuisance , and you threaten his grasp on reality , bc you remind him he’s not the false self , you echo his mothers words that he’s a failure , you sound like his inner cruel superego and that is horribly painful
    6/ if you were his partner , you’re mommy and you betrayed him and left your child and that’s painful to remember

    • @cnbri30
      @cnbri30 Рік тому +18

      This comment needs to be PINNED!!!

    • @NMTDelightfulMusic
      @NMTDelightfulMusic Рік тому +12

      🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢 All correct! 💯💯💯💯💯

    • @user-kcrpine
      @user-kcrpine 11 місяців тому +6

      She

    • @sponkmcdonk3898
      @sponkmcdonk3898 7 місяців тому +4

      He or she

    • @smartie23899
      @smartie23899 6 місяців тому +2

      So the best way to help him and me is to remove myself for good. We are at no contact right now.
      I'm worried about him, I told him indirectly but at the same time direclty about . i'm worried about him.
      It feels impossible to understand or to be there for him. He doens't allowed that to happend. I am mad, but I understand he is hurting. I would take him back if he was willing to work on himself, the problem is he never truly wanted me in the first place. After leaving 2 people for him, after being here for so long, after he rejected me so many times and came back and apologized and do the same over and over again.
      It's just sad... I feel completely lost...
      The worst part is idk who is worst me or him, we definitely try to hide who we are for way to long. We traumatized each other over and over again. When I'm splitting, I would say terrible things , but most of the time, we weren't at the same place, and we never experienced each other's anger. It would be terrible. I truly believed/believe I love him still. I don't consider myself a victim cuz of my BPD, and now that I know that I have it o definitely can't say that I am a victim, but I really wanted us to work. Now I need therapy.
      Anyways it's so hard to understand that not everyone thinks the same and that we always found the wrong person but in reality we set yourselfs for failure. Weird.

  • @jkg2088
    @jkg2088 Рік тому +34

    Ignoring is detaching. Running away from hurtful actions. Maybe you find peace in it. Maybe you find a game in it.
    Maybe you feel better not trying to prove anything and making sure they don’t get the last word.
    You know what it feels like to lose.
    You want to know what it feels like to win.

  • @ToyoftheDay
    @ToyoftheDay Рік тому +21

    My ex narcissist left me after 4 months. First 3, she was the perfect woman, the last month I showed resistance and said "No" to paying more for rent. She gave me the silent treatment and asked for a break. then a month later we talked and I thought we were going to get back together, and she ripped me apart for being selfish, lol! We went for a walk about 4 months after the break up and she showed no emotion and said she didn't want to get back together, and I said ok. THen she asked to be friends, and I said "No". I hope I never hear from her again.

    • @universehighpriestess8460
      @universehighpriestess8460 3 місяці тому +1

      Checkmate!

    • @MikeJackson690
      @MikeJackson690 Місяць тому

      Oh, you got THREE months of "the perfect woman"? Lucky you... Very sorry, in seriousness. It's such a strange way to live, afraid of compromise and happiness.

    • @whitepouch0904
      @whitepouch0904 29 днів тому

      Who asked to co-Habitate?

    • @notayoutuber09
      @notayoutuber09 23 дні тому

      I would say the same: about 3 months of being an awesome woman and then the mask slipped off. Then again, she would slip and tell me truths during our dating so I knew this was my faith soon enough I would receive the same treatment

  • @cLuStErBMiLkShAkE
    @cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Рік тому +36

    When I was married I didn’t want to ever revisit those vulnerable events again. I can easily pretend like they didn’t happen. What’s also helpful is I can detach from that feeling so, in my mind, it didn’t even happen.

    • @AlwaysHope2019
      @AlwaysHope2019 Рік тому +8

      Hey cluster b
      Watch you ever day😊
      Hope that you are well.

    • @margaritagomez3490
      @margaritagomez3490 Рік тому +3

      Then why are you hurt when that person walks away? Is it more like possession?

    • @cLuStErBMiLkShAkE
      @cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Рік тому +1

      @@margaritagomez3490 If you have not been fully devalued, I will have abandonment anxiety and only then reach out or be open to reconnecting.

    • @user-kcrpine
      @user-kcrpine 11 місяців тому +6

      And only a fool would ever consider reconnecting with cancer. Why you act like you’re in this position of great power when you’re really just a coward preying on the weakest is mind boggling. It’s like you’re proud of having the ability to destroy the helpless and doesn’t get much lower than that.

    • @G00gleY0utubecansukmyleftnut
      @G00gleY0utubecansukmyleftnut 9 місяців тому

      ​@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEYou abuse your partners to the point where they need to leave out of self preservation that isnt consistent with fear of abandonment that's actively trying to get them to leave.

  • @anne-marie6098
    @anne-marie6098 9 місяців тому +10

    That is what my covert narcissist ex-boyfriend did. Only I never knew what I did ‘wrong’.

    • @thebirima91
      @thebirima91 Місяць тому

      It doesn’t matter because they always find something you ‘did wrong’. My wife just brought up a situation from two years ago. We were at a playground with our children and at the end of the day she wanted to have dinner at that place as well. I noticed excessive prices on the menu and decided to go and have food somewhere else. My point is, I didn’t even realize I had ‘wronged’ her, yet she stored it in her memory to bring it up two years later!

  • @pam164
    @pam164 Рік тому +27

    I remember being with my ex and him doing shitty things and i used to be so scared of losing him and i would say sorry, and and i know now he knew i would do that and i could see him smirking looking at his phone, i will never do that again, ever.

  • @Blackcatsrlucky
    @Blackcatsrlucky Рік тому +20

    Mind blown..when you said they distance themselves after being vulnerable because of their shame or feeling judged. I had no idea. Wow that was definitely an eye opener for me! Great video keep them coming!

  • @a.acquah4187
    @a.acquah4187 9 місяців тому +19

    Can you imagine that’s how their brain works!? I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted just listening to how you torture yourself thinking you are punishing others but instead you do this first to yourself! Such sad reality.. I send my sympathy to your likes from a safe distance 💐

    • @taneyat6_33
      @taneyat6_33 3 місяці тому

      Yea I find myself fast forwarding through the videos trying to find a relatable point.

  • @lumpyspacecadet
    @lumpyspacecadet Рік тому +21

    It takes courage to admit all this stuff.

  • @aprilmorgan909
    @aprilmorgan909 Рік тому +10

    The fear of vulnerability comes with the territory with NPD. Your wounded inner child thinks that letting your guard equals getting hurt or dismissed. You're not so afraid now, Jacob, you're sharing it with the world. That's huge. Having complex emotions doesn't make you weak, it just makes you human and more beautiful. ♥️ Keep growing and keep letting it out! x

  • @LittleBarracuda
    @LittleBarracuda Рік тому +14

    My partner recently literally bullied me to tears, when i was full on crying from his hurtful words he just got up, acted like i dont exist all happily and went to bed.
    Thats why im currently looking up info about narcissists - best coming from someone who experiences it themselves. I grew up with narcissists in my family and it damaged me badly but i refuse to see narcissists as 'bad people' because im diagnosed with aspergers and i know what its like to be wired differently. And thanks to severe childhood trauma i also know what its like to develop this kind of coping mechanism. I hope i will understand why he does what he does one day....

    • @annacarter8703
      @annacarter8703 Рік тому +9

      Narctassic won't change for no one including there children they put on an act so that people don't see who they really are. Sorry to say this but your narctassic won't stop belittling you he enjoy it he know it hurt you he want to see you hurt, narctassic is person whom had a terrible childhood. So all they know is to take it out on people. They have no feelings towards others. As long as you stay it gets worse.

    • @KingDiamondBones
      @KingDiamondBones 8 місяців тому +2

      my sister is a narccicist they don't change unless u give them something they want (its an act)

  • @candy5742
    @candy5742 7 місяців тому +9

    I think most men wait for us to break up with them and treat us bad for us to leave. But that is way worst.

    • @staciacrick3373
      @staciacrick3373 5 місяців тому

      When married it’s statistically women who initiate divorce, not men.

    • @AllieB-11.11
      @AllieB-11.11 Місяць тому

      @@staciacrick3373 It is yes but doesn't the poster mean that the guy basically treats the woman like sh*t in the hope she'll initiate divorce so he doesn't have to look like the bad guy?

    • @staciacrick3373
      @staciacrick3373 Місяць тому

      @@AllieB-11.11 Narcissists don't value interpersonal or emotionally intimate relationships and only don't want to miss out on their sex, services, safety or supply. Yes, they push the partner to leave so they can maintain their image as "good" even when they are not. They do everything to protect their false self.

  • @instagamrr
    @instagamrr Рік тому +11

    My now ex constantly did that thing where he’d go silent and let me freak out. I HATED it, it’s the fucking worst. It’s one of the top 3 reasons i left him. Happy to have some insight into what he may have been thinking

  • @awkwardfellow6912
    @awkwardfellow6912 Рік тому +11

    Fair play… you’re pretty open about it.. I’m going through a horrible agreement with a friend who’s a covert.. silence I just can’t get anywhere and sort something that should be easy, I’ve probably just got the final discard.. it’s so shitty.

  • @dsa2591
    @dsa2591 Рік тому +12

    And what if the silence doesn't work? What if they just become silent too? That's what happened to me and my narcissist ex. He kept pulling that trick, and I went from begging him to work it out to just waiting him out knowing he'd come back when he figured they had hurt me enough to just not giving a fuck if they ever spoke to me again. I think it shocked him when I just didn't respond at all, just walked away.

    • @Puppylove82-gv3gm
      @Puppylove82-gv3gm Рік тому +6

      I'm the same way. If someone is hurting my feelings and treating me like shit; I just leave them alone. No use in crying and losing sleep anymore. Sometimes the trash takes itself out.

    • @anne-marie6098
      @anne-marie6098 9 місяців тому +3

      That’s what I did with my covert narcissist ex-boyfriend. I didn’t play into the silent treatment.

    • @thebirima91
      @thebirima91 Місяць тому

      I am there too. She probably gets her supply from someone else now and even that I don’t care. I just want her to go out of my life if she’s not willing to take accountability which will probably never happen.

  • @pjewellful2012
    @pjewellful2012 3 місяці тому +2

    Ghosted and ignored are screwed individuals. Cowards, I always tell people if I’m going to step away from them and give a reason

  • @jacqelvilleraw
    @jacqelvilleraw Рік тому +17

    Thank you for having the courage to be vulnerable on here and real. 😁👍 Good job! 🥰

  • @123marchello
    @123marchello Рік тому +10

    Jacob your authenticity & vulnerability is 💯💯 keep up the work brother !!

    • @user-kcrpine
      @user-kcrpine 11 місяців тому

      Do you honestly believe a diagnosed narc is really being authentic? You’re giving him exactly what he’s after: supply, free validation, unwarranted attention, and praise. You’re literally feeding the monster.

    • @123marchello
      @123marchello 11 місяців тому

      @@user-kcrpine As an adult mental health nurse, I have developed a compassionate and non-judgmental approach towards individuals with personality disorders. I recognize the importance that providing validation to these individuals during their formative years was deeply withheld, and I fully respect and validate their experiences now. I am a strong advocate for people facing similar circumstances, and I will not tolerate any negative assumptions or comments about Jacob.

  • @nataliew8529
    @nataliew8529 Рік тому +8

    So informative about the avoidance. I felt like I'd get punished for doing something wrong amd didn't know why I was getting the silent treatment. Great explanation on the why of it.

  • @ChinosWorldx
    @ChinosWorldx 6 днів тому

    I know you don’t know me and I don’t know you but your videos have helped me heal in such an incredible way from being treated poorly by someone who has NPD.
    Keep steadfast in your recovery.

  • @justlivinglife465
    @justlivinglife465 4 місяці тому +2

    yup I feel the same about ghosting.. I don’t think I’m actually NPD but I think I might have some traits. some things I relate to really well and others not (like lying to make myself look better).

  • @aellavii
    @aellavii Рік тому +8

    this is what my ex did yet when i saw him with another woman not long after, he couldn't seem to take my eyes off me and act like nothing happened and messaged me sometime later

  • @traceybiles2061
    @traceybiles2061 9 місяців тому +9

    Cause they are cowards

  • @teresaz7152
    @teresaz7152 Рік тому +14

    Most of the time we can't hear the background noise that you guys can hear.

  • @eveyg412
    @eveyg412 8 місяців тому +1

    What we think others are thinking of us is what we are thinking of ourselves

  • @pauladuncanadams1750
    @pauladuncanadams1750 Рік тому +3

    I can understand your feelings about being vulnerable and having to face the person. I can validate that.

  • @eight-ball3625
    @eight-ball3625 Рік тому +2

    See, this is it. A narcissist will hurt someone to force them to leave them. Then, wonder why there is so much vitriol and hate about them. I think that’s a lot of the hate seen online.

  • @theral056
    @theral056 Рік тому +3

    Holy shit, around the 3 minute mark... Things make so much sense in my relation since I discovered you. Yikes. Why did I not get this sooner.
    Thanks for sharing honestly. It's valuable.

  • @highvibeintelligence
    @highvibeintelligence 6 місяців тому +1

    Typically I'm catching on narc(s) are biting off more in life that they can chew; the juggling, trying to multitask. Scared to miss likely better oppurtunities.

  • @sofp
    @sofp Рік тому +8

    You’re not so nameless now, you are the good narcissist 😊 Because you shows how much all this is affects you, it affects you because you’re a good person, who sometimes does bad things. But lots of people do bad things don’t even care….

  • @justlivinglife465
    @justlivinglife465 4 місяці тому +1

    I really relate to this “knowing “ that they’re just being nice and are definitely judging you 😂 I also do avoid certain people due to shame, like I would just feel SO awkward if I ever saw them

  • @JoshuaAHolmes
    @JoshuaAHolmes 10 місяців тому +1

    Running away from one's own reflection. When we judge others, good or bad, we are simply looking at ourselves in the mirror.

  • @bpuarmn1057
    @bpuarmn1057 Рік тому +4

    There’s a lot of times Jacob we are on different ends of a scale. On sharing something vulnerable and then avoiding and the texts after, yes too. I don’t feel like I was fake but I feel ashamed and unsure what they think and potential for judgement is a killer. But I know I have connections with the people I share with that either can’t judge me any lower (glass half empty) or they know enough about me that is positive that this counters any judgement they hold. The scoping bit is where the above applies.

  • @watchmeheal1176
    @watchmeheal1176 Рік тому +4

    Vulnerability IS a Super Power🫶🏻

  • @BmanOutdoors
    @BmanOutdoors 7 місяців тому +2

    My dad will be in the room with me and pretend he doesn’t hear me speak or just won’t respond .
    Like I set up my moms burial with my cousin (her nephew) my dad wouldn’t help , so I was talking saying how it’s good her nephew helped and my mom would be really happy we got her in with her parents .. and he just kept talking to my pet bird like I didn’t exist

  • @nappyfries
    @nappyfries Рік тому +3

    When I’m hurt, I’d rather withdraw than be mean to you & take it out on you bc I’m splitting. Either that or I don’t have the energy to deal with it.

    • @Puppylove82-gv3gm
      @Puppylove82-gv3gm Рік тому +2

      Me too. Mostly don't have the energy for a repetitive argument. I used to give people multiple chances to fk up but now if I even think you're shady....BYE! I'm not a convenient friend.

  • @meaghenstandlee6644
    @meaghenstandlee6644 5 місяців тому +1

    I love your channel bc it’s like I’m learning a whole new language you are saving so much time waiting for him to change or “win it big” at poker he stopped responding said he can’t offer me anything he’s “sick” he said he needs more “time” but really he’s moved on and he’s a coward

  • @KelliBar
    @KelliBar 3 дні тому

    "Ive never ghosted" = "Ive ghosted one time." Do narcissists ever say what they mean or mean what they say? Gives me a headache.

  • @Blackcatsrlucky
    @Blackcatsrlucky Рік тому +1

    Being vulnerable is what intimacy is all about...which is what is so heartbreaking about this shift in perspective

  • @samer.abandeh
    @samer.abandeh 4 місяці тому +1

    So that's translated to avoiding confrontation, coz u feel ashamed to show ur weeknesses, and also lack the way to proper communicate your feelings when ur hurt or pissed.. plus it's some way of punishment, knowing they'll freak out when ghosted

  • @s22centuaryfox
    @s22centuaryfox 2 місяці тому

    If you tell them you wanna break up they would respect your honesty

  • @missrockstarglamazon6846
    @missrockstarglamazon6846 7 місяців тому +1

    Going though this currently with one ! And the saddest part is I think she’s awesome and I truly feel sad that she’s so beat up inside she has to act like nothing bothers her. The actually ghosting is what causes the damage the total opposite to what you want ! Hiding ignoring . Brings more attention to you and judgement that being communicative. After two attempts o just leave it . Then when I see this person , I don’t give them the time of day. You narcs need to learn to open up i dot. Care how it feels I was abused I don’t act like this I was mistreated o don’t act like this you choose to do it and now your in so deep your two lazy to make a effort to reverse your own mess. Get your shot together.

  • @colejones6369
    @colejones6369 Рік тому +2

    Listen we are all human we have weakness it’s what’s makes us human I don’t judge u ,ur awesome,ur truly trying to improve as a person 💯💯

  • @danieldavis3565
    @danieldavis3565 9 місяців тому

    Thanks for your honesty and giving us a glimpse in the mindset. I always thought exactly the same thing with my ex-girlfriend. The sad thing is that she couldn't realise that being vulnerable would have shown her strength and could have shown her that nobody felt awkward around her. So thanks for being honest, as being vulnerable is not easy for anybody - but maybe the least for a narcissist.

  • @bpuarmn1057
    @bpuarmn1057 Рік тому +10

    The few people I’ve in effect ghosted know very well why because I’ve expressed a boundary in trust and friendship they’ve breached. I don’t owe them an explanation because they already have all of the information. I feel discomfort when ghosted but it doesn’t last long, I take it they’ve got their own stuff going on I’m not aware of and it gives me a clear reason to detach. People who detach respectfully; I hold them in high regard because they have given me worth in a respectable ending.

    • @alisachaise3
      @alisachaise3 Рік тому

      So would you go back to someone whom you had decided didn’t need a follow up convo because they did know the situation… but you told them you’d talk & you never did? Romantic in nature?
      This particular person I dated for 6 months while he was goin through a divorce… and a year later he reached out to me… it was failing again… and he tried selling me on a part time status, that I said if something came up I’d go for it, and three days later he told me I’m the one future faked me, & 2 months later while he had began breadcrumb me, called him out and said either he wants me or he doesn’t. And said now he don’t know what he wants and anyways… I reached out once a week later and then been nothing from him for 5 months now. I know he is now goin through a divorce process again. Any advice helps.

    • @tanyadepoalo4312
      @tanyadepoalo4312 Рік тому +4

      Stay away from married men, even if they are going through a divorce or separated. Don’t be that girl, and don’t let them use you as a rebound either. When people go through break ups or divorces when they’ve been in a long term relationship, they should be single for atleast a year, to heal and to self reflect. Don’t be the rebound girl for anyone.

    • @bpuarmn1057
      @bpuarmn1057 Рік тому

      @@tanyadepoalo4312 I am the woman who is going through a divorce and separated 🤣. As long as they’re separated for a year or so, it’s not the end of the world, I agree approach with caution though and understanding. Anyone can be in a bad headspace following the ending of a long term relationship with shared finances, kids, assets regardless whether married.

    • @bpuarmn1057
      @bpuarmn1057 Рік тому

      @@tanyadepoalo4312 Agree on married men 100%. I don’t shit on other woman.

    • @bpuarmn1057
      @bpuarmn1057 Рік тому

      @@alisachaise3 I never go back to someone I’ve ghosted. They are blocked and gone. The going back after ghosting is way more toxic than the ghosting itself. If I am ghosted by someone, they are blocked and removed from my life. They have not deemed me worthy of an explanation and anyone who eats away at my self worth like that doesn’t deserve me. This guy doesn’t deserve you, he is chasing his dick and dopamine and sees you as an option.

  • @MilushevGeorgi
    @MilushevGeorgi 9 місяців тому +1

    You are more normal than regular people for real

  • @lss74
    @lss74 9 місяців тому

    I hear the word 'Pathetic' from you a hell of a lot. You are not pathetic. And yes... i mean the real you... the one that you say is 'bad'. We see you. .... and we are still here ❤

  • @pwetty4r4
    @pwetty4r4 Рік тому +3

    Good term I know is "vulnerability hangovers"

  • @Solace_System
    @Solace_System Рік тому +3

    None of us can hear your roommate if that's what you're worried about.

    • @Thenamelessnarcissist
      @Thenamelessnarcissist  Рік тому +3

      It’s a trauma thing lmao if people can hear me I freak out hahaha

    • @HunnyBee23
      @HunnyBee23 Рік тому +1

      @@Thenamelessnarcissist
      How do you mean? Do you feel like they can hear you pouring your true self out and that’s why they’re making noise or what?

  • @evolvedcoaching3312
    @evolvedcoaching3312 6 місяців тому +1

    Thanks Jacob. 😊 appreciate your pov so much

  • @shayaeido8405
    @shayaeido8405 Рік тому +1

    So glad you’re here❤

  • @BAAPCHUGS
    @BAAPCHUGS 16 днів тому

    This saved my friendship with a NPD friend

  • @rebeccac6464
    @rebeccac6464 Рік тому +2

    This was a really hard watch but I needed to hear it thank you

  • @eveyg412
    @eveyg412 8 місяців тому +1

    Adding alcohol to this already messed up thinking doesn't help. I got rid of the alcohol and things fell in place. Still messed up but much easier to deal with

  • @TheFirefly71
    @TheFirefly71 Місяць тому

    Yeah it is really shtty because you should treat people how you would like to be treated.
    But kudos to you for coming out with being honest and at least you have a conscience about it and your self-awareness is admirable.

  • @GODemon13
    @GODemon13 2 місяці тому

    She always asks me to repeat myself again and again. But still not respond to what I say. Instead she changes the topic completely and acts like I'm being rude. Her phone is more important than anything I have to say... Anymore, I see her a few times a month, but that's probably my fault.

  • @santanapage5044
    @santanapage5044 9 місяців тому +3

    I wonder if the narcissist is wanting you to chase them?

  • @charmee4045
    @charmee4045 Рік тому +16

    I would say until you get serious help don't date anyone, you are only messing up alot of people. I was a healthy mentally stable, fit, happy person and I met a narcissist and I was thinking suicide from his actions. You are hurting alot of people .Get therapy and heal yourself and stay away from relationships, or you may end up with a corpse on your conscious. Not fair to the rest of us.

    • @Thenamelessnarcissist
      @Thenamelessnarcissist  Рік тому +4

      20% of narcissists commit suicide . Stop playing victim

    • @timotimorrison3448
      @timotimorrison3448 Рік тому +7

      They aren't gonna stop, they need supply and live of discarding and abusing. Few of them know they are wrong, most of them the narcissism just take over and are on autopilot and they think they are truly the good guy of the equation and that the stuff they did was deserved.

    • @StreetcarDesire
      @StreetcarDesire Рік тому +4

      Take accountability for your own actions and leave when you know someone is not good for your well-being. You’re an adult, yeah?
      Any relationship can turn toxic, including relationships with everyday neurotypical people. You’re looking for someone to project that pain onto, but this isn’t the answer.
      Eventually, you will have to look at your own issues and heal whatever attracted you to the narcissist in the first place. Why did you stay? Have you looked at your attachment trauma? Have you considered what roles you played in keeping the relationship going? Are you actively trying to heal your trauma?
      Come back once you’ve done these things. I can guarantee a self-aware narcissist, like Jacob is doing more work on themselves than you ever have or probably ever will considering your current victim mentality.
      Get well soon.

    • @tanyadepoalo4312
      @tanyadepoalo4312 Рік тому +3

      Well said, I have to agree with this. As this is my same story also.

    • @tanyadepoalo4312
      @tanyadepoalo4312 Рік тому +10

      I’m sorry, but this is a very dismissive, selfish response. Although it’s sad and terrible that the suicide rate in NPD is high, the suicide rate of people who have been in relationships with NPDs is high also. There should be compassion on both sides, however…..the person who got into the relationship (likely without knowing their partner has NPD) did not create that suicidal statistic For the NPD community If that’s a general statistic for NPD and suicide whether they are in a relationship or single. The same cannot be said for the person without NPD, severe emotional and mental abuse for the non NPD does increase the suicide rate, had that person not been in a relationship with an NPD, they likely would not have been pushed to such deep depression As to consider suicide. I would not accuse that person of “playing the victim “ there is no “playing” about this, it is real and serious. And it should be taken seriously on both ends.

  • @irenadel
    @irenadel Рік тому

    and the worst thing is being vulnerable is usually the only way we can ask people to meet our needs 😩 in general, even for us non-narcissists

  • @JoellaDeville
    @JoellaDeville Рік тому +3

    This hits to close to home 😅

  • @annealbert9490
    @annealbert9490 Рік тому +2

    You’re interesting to me as an extremely empathetic person who has a brother with NPD and ex relationships with men having NPD . It’s obvious you’re in therapy but you seem to have some empathy , even just a little… You should be proud of yourself that you’re trying and you’re human.

  • @KELSEYYYYY
    @KELSEYYYYY Рік тому +2

    Watching so I can know why I ignore people 😂

  • @ice11.
    @ice11. Рік тому +3

    So sad , dark and painful. The narcssistic persons are the biggest victom s of their stories!I wish they understand and think about it and help themselves first. Changeing is hard but possible

  • @dogtrainingmexico
    @dogtrainingmexico Рік тому +3

    Almost up to 17k!! Killing it :)

  • @Maggit-xo
    @Maggit-xo 11 місяців тому +2

    as a borderline, when I love someone or enjoy someone’s presence in my life, my time revolves around said person, i make time for them and I enjoy talking to them 24/7, can be multiple people but usually just one.
    I play “mind games”, hot and cold, create flames in the relationship, create temptation and lust and somewhat excitement and create more flame and destruction - we fight, i ghost them and they come crawling back to me- just for the same toxic cycle to continue until they either leave me for good or I find someone else to take their place..
    -
    The f’ed up part of it is how aware I am of the dysfunctional, yet, continue to do it subconsciously.
    -
    I’m unsure if I have some level of narcissism, an ex of mine once called me a “vampiric, succubus, narcissistic “sl*t”, how i feed off of men for validation.
    How I “destroy everything because it’s easier to than to create new things”, how I mistreat the good people in my life who care about me because I’m unfamiliar with that type of love and treatment.
    -
    but constantly having a “backup” or someone to replace the “favorite person”, to then create that same damn cycle.
    -
    Fighting with my own reflection and withering away from my own self hatred and needing someone there to prove me otherwise..
    fuck, why do we have to be this way lol
    It’s miserable.

    • @HealthWyze
      @HealthWyze 10 місяців тому +2

      You're a narc. Betraying everyone with a backup is the proof.

  • @ItsSoarTime
    @ItsSoarTime 8 місяців тому +1

    ANYONE who is petty or desperate would ignore others in this situation, NOT just these individuals.
    i'm tired of all this negative talk about these people who are suffering from a mental disorder. THANK GOD for Dr. E on Heal NPD (and another guy whose channel i can't remember, but his podcasts are on my Encouragement for Nar.... playlist)

    • @thebirima91
      @thebirima91 Місяць тому

      Thanks for the tip. I am looking it up.

  • @thelourensfamily8048
    @thelourensfamily8048 Рік тому +2

    Love your authenticity in these videos ❤ Have your latest long podcast in my "saved to watch later" for when I have the time and mental fortitude to listen.

  • @genxchildhoodofirony419
    @genxchildhoodofirony419 Рік тому

    You are different in your later videos than your earlier ones. Just a smoosh more authentic.

  • @rebekahjette6304
    @rebekahjette6304 Рік тому +2

    Aptly timed video Jacob!

  • @maryteeples6529
    @maryteeples6529 Рік тому +2

    Do you think your abandonment issues and your belief that others think the way you do might be tied into your difficulty breaking up with people? Like, if we live in a world where you could easily discard someone, it means you can just as easily be discarded?

  • @Emma-ee6mc
    @Emma-ee6mc Рік тому +1

    You sounds like my EX,this is what he did to me .thanks for making this video .

  • @carrymore7952
    @carrymore7952 Рік тому

    I don't think ghosting is necessary. I have been ghosted, and I have ghosted well. It's a learning experience. Sometimes you learn it's not about you. Sometimes you learn about your aurora. Sometimes ghosting is a pathway to WellNess. When you elevate in WellNess there's certain abusive people or transactional people in your past . And congratulations, you're a ghost to them. When you elevate, you'll understand not always replying timely is ghosting. What the connection is. And you'll be aware of when you feel like ghosting someone, or just lost track of time ,just being focused on something , resting. With ghost you don't feel that . Its an emptiness

  • @farangisehsani592
    @farangisehsani592 Рік тому +1

    I really needed this video. Thanks💓

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 7 місяців тому +1

    Emotional involvement preventive measures accoding to some clinicians to avoid intimacy. But that would be for you to answer.

  • @andrewbeckman7687
    @andrewbeckman7687 Рік тому

    Yes I did that exactly 3 weeks out surreal Andy B thx great description of my path

  • @juliadixon8465
    @juliadixon8465 3 місяці тому

    So going through elaborate performances designed to get nothing more than an apology is a *narcissist* trait?

  • @shayaeido8405
    @shayaeido8405 Рік тому +1

    I hate that I low key WISH I could say something stern when someone pisses me off and then just leave them on read for like two weeks to make them freak out when they’ve hurt me lol but I’m working through anxious attachment style so it’s tricky lol
    I know it’s toxic af lol but I wish I could low key…

    • @Puppylove82-gv3gm
      @Puppylove82-gv3gm Рік тому +1

      Oh I leave people on read all of the time. I don't think it's a necessarily a bad thing. It's better than saying what you really think. It's a nice little passive aggressive way to let people know that you've read their bs and leave you alone. I have to leave my mother inlaw on read alot because she's a whiner and has no idea how to communicate with her son and uses me as the middle man...NO!

  • @truthandjustice7042
    @truthandjustice7042 Рік тому +3

    could you do a part 2 for this topic? Like why would you ignore a text besides being angry? Are you the one who texts eventually or should the person text you? 3:08 your needs that you talk about at this time stamp how does the ignoring work for the partner to figure it out?

  • @tammyfitzgerald5336
    @tammyfitzgerald5336 Рік тому +2

    Why ghost 👻 that’s insane

  • @sophiestanza
    @sophiestanza Рік тому +3

    I commend you for sharing this !! Don’t take this the wrong way but I can tell how self absorbed you are just from the way you speak and the look in your eyes. It screams “im so important everyone cares” when in fact no one cares babe and you gotta get over yourself

    • @sophiestanza
      @sophiestanza Рік тому +2

      It’s something about how serious you take yourself which is the only thing that would make me start judging you. Funny how narcissism is like a self fulfilling prophecy. Your so worried about judgement but that worry is the only thing that would make people jusge

    • @StreetcarDesire
      @StreetcarDesire Рік тому +2

      This is not okay. If you have a personal vendetta against narcissists because of one toxic relationship just say so. Leave his page if you only come here to be hateful. Don’t take this personally, but you could benefit from therapy. Best to you!

    • @sophiestanza
      @sophiestanza Рік тому +3

      @@StreetcarDesire oh you definitely misunderstood. I applaud him for sharing and think it’s great, just wanted to highlight the fact that I can tell he’s the real deal by his aura of self importance. Not sure why that’s so offensive when he is literally talking about that himself? And no bad experiences darling! Just making observations

    • @alias4510
      @alias4510 Рік тому +1

      Sounds a bit like projection ;p

    • @sophiestanza
      @sophiestanza Рік тому +2

      @@alias4510 That was the last person’s comeback. Once again, just an observation :*

  • @eight-ball3625
    @eight-ball3625 Рік тому

    My question, I guess is, why/ how does the narcissist reason it out that a person will still honor, and look up to them regardless of how they lie , chest on or steal from them? Eventually, the other person is just done. And really does not look up to them any more. And do judge them. That’s just truth. I ask this thinking if the two malignant narc. I have known who both stole a lot financially from me, lied to snd about me, and cheated on me. Yet, still assumed I should give a shot. Not to say that any other narc would do these particular things. Bit, that is what I experienced.

    • @eight-ball3625
      @eight-ball3625 Рік тому

      My apologies to any grammar and spelling police present. I’m trying to do this from my phone.

  • @iako...
    @iako... Рік тому

    I wonder if letting go technique can work on someone with NPD. Like getting to the depth of emotion instead of avoiding it. It's so liberating.

  • @Mr47steam
    @Mr47steam Рік тому +8

    what would you say about a (in my opinion) narcissist who ghosts you and hates you without telling you what you did wrong, even after you ask them?

    • @aellavii
      @aellavii Рік тому +21

      maybe I'm wrong but I think they also run away from their shame and accountability on their wrongdoings so being caught and having no real answer is better avoided by running away and pretending like you dont exist and that you were the problem (enter all of their projections).

    • @sunnybein1
      @sunnybein1 Рік тому +9

      that you didn’t do anything ‘wrong’ that something is being ‘projected’ onto you that in reality has nothing to do with you.

  • @SophiaPistos3M-vm6lu
    @SophiaPistos3M-vm6lu 9 місяців тому +1

    To avoid accountability right ?

  • @petitewitch
    @petitewitch Рік тому +2

    you will never find peace by doing that over and over again. Or maybe u don’t want peace?

  • @Kat20483
    @Kat20483 11 місяців тому

    My narc ex partner hoovered and we re-engaged in contact. But when I critized him he shut down and ended all contact. The more I tried to clarify the more he pushed me away, telling me he's not interested in contact anymore etc. He also blocked me everywhere except on 1 channel. There he doesn't even read my messages. Since 3 months. He called with fake number a single time, that's all. And still stalked my social media secretly. When I reached out again a couple weeks ago on a new messenger, I was immediately blocked there, too. Another channel is still left open but my messages there are not even read by him. What is this? Is he finally done this time? I blocked him back but it doesn't seem to bother him

    • @thebirima91
      @thebirima91 Місяць тому

      Let go and count your blessings.

  • @NessG24
    @NessG24 Місяць тому

    How can a narcissist do things to you that if you did the exact same thing to them they would lose their minds??!!? Is it the grandiosity- thinking they are above us or is it more because they are literally incapable of putting themselves in others shoes?
    Thoughts??

  • @stevekirschman354
    @stevekirschman354 Рік тому +1

    It all makes sense

  • @maryt7959
    @maryt7959 Рік тому +1

    Is your goal in life to stay and dye single ? Acting this way will definitely get you there .

  • @lauren27891
    @lauren27891 10 місяців тому

    I see through this act 🙄

  • @JessCyph
    @JessCyph Рік тому +2

    Nooo!!! We love it when you’re vulnerable; that let’s us know we can be vulnerable, too. We don’t judge. We are all fucking human, and we love you for your humanity. We are all fucking human and the sooner we admit it to each other, the better off we’ll be.

  • @rebekahhawkins1318
    @rebekahhawkins1318 28 днів тому

    Do you put up anything to let your roommates know your recording?

  • @yohami
    @yohami Рік тому

    Narc: Im not toxic, oh wait Im fully toxic

  • @gl2461
    @gl2461 Рік тому

    My sister inentionally tried to provoke me so decided to cut her off. Am I the narcissist?

  • @brandonmcalpin9228
    @brandonmcalpin9228 Рік тому +1

    And when they blow up your phone, it’s like instant relief 😂 They do love me!

  • @moonlightstargem1006
    @moonlightstargem1006 Рік тому +1

    Stonewalling :( avoiding

  • @DearGodHaveMercy
    @DearGodHaveMercy Рік тому

    So I wonder: Since he has a hard time breaking up with women, does he find it easier to break up with men? That's the question. Cause the way he says it makes you think it's easier for him to break up with men and with women, it's just a nightmare to even think of. Hmmm. Bisexual?

  • @brianacaldwell5607
    @brianacaldwell5607 Рік тому

    I like the glasses but Your eyes are pretty cute, too