The Cure for Loneliness

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  • Опубліковано 4 чер 2023
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    -
    This video was inspired from a quote by the French philosopher Blaise Pascal "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone".
    I’m noticing more and more often that people tend to avoid spending time alone, because it makes them feel lonely. Whenever they experience a form of anxiety, they seek the company of others to escape their negative thoughts.
    To be honest, I do it as well. We all do.
    But it's increasingly important to stop running away from yourself and learn to spend time alone. It doesn't mean you're lonely, it's actually quite the opposite.
    It is an invitation to deepen the connection with yourself. It is a sacred space in which you replenish your energy, explore your passions, and cultivate self-love.
    True growth comes in times when you are alone by yourself, I really do believe that. It is in those moments that you will find clarity, self-discovery, and a deeper sense of inner peace.
    -
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    / byrolands
    Contact Me:
    ByRolands@gmail.com

КОМЕНТАРІ • 716

  • @auto6465
    @auto6465 7 місяців тому +528

    What people are failing to understand about this video is he’s not saying you should be alone forever. He’s saying that by cultivating a healthy independence & better relationship with yourself you can begin to attract people who are right for you without all of the codependency. There is nothing wrong with forming lasting emotional bonds with others, the problem arises only when you are so reliant on those connections that you’d rather be around others than confront your own shadow. What he is implying is that by taking time and enjoying your own company you form a better connection to self & therefore a greater understanding of self & you are able to show up in the world as a healthier more confident person overall.

    • @byrolands
      @byrolands  7 місяців тому +34

      I couldn't have said it better myself, thank you for the comment!! :))

    • @aceggkspade958
      @aceggkspade958 7 місяців тому +17

      I think a big part of people getting the anxiety is because they have insecurities they don’t take the time to feel, accept and love… all that takes time alone and self reflection. But until you put in that work your insecurities won’t leave you alone, and once you do accept them, they magically disappear. But most people try to distract themselves from them, always moving to the next distraction running from that anxiety. When the answer is to stop and face it

    • @montyturner6511
      @montyturner6511 5 місяців тому +1

      K...

    • @Spiral.Dynamics
      @Spiral.Dynamics 4 місяці тому +1

      Wow. Thank you for putting this out there.

  • @ren1643
    @ren1643 11 місяців тому +1778

    There is a difference between feeling lonely and being lonely. One is where you feel it when not around people. The other one is not having anyone at all, that is genuine loneliness.

    • @IIIISai
      @IIIISai 11 місяців тому +5

      Yuh

    • @gamingwithCONZOUL
      @gamingwithCONZOUL 11 місяців тому +71

      I understand , this is the kind of loneliness I experience a lot . Something big happens in my life and I don’t resllly have anyone I can share it with

    • @bunibubble
      @bunibubble 11 місяців тому +39

      @@gamingwithCONZOUL idk if thats worse or having friends but not being comfortable with anyone to talk to them becaus they'll probably judge you

    • @hunteractually3637
      @hunteractually3637 11 місяців тому +15

      @@bunibubble If you are not comfortable talking with your friends because they judge you then either they are not your friends or you are really insecure (depends on what do you mean by "judge")

    • @markrammers8406
      @markrammers8406 11 місяців тому +18

      And then there's the loneliness you experience when actually being around people, as well.

  • @2yt4u.14.
    @2yt4u.14. 11 місяців тому +1419

    i get anxiety when i am with other people. When i am alone i finally feel free. I always ride my bike to places in the woods where nobody is and i just sit there and listen to the sounds. This is peace.

    • @alsimanche
      @alsimanche 11 місяців тому +69

      Same...i can feel lonely when I'm on my own for too long of course, but i also notice i often feel even lonelier when I'm with other people cause mostly i would just try to fit in and it makes me feel like an outsider and ended up feeling very lonely

    • @JAKE-ng8yr
      @JAKE-ng8yr 11 місяців тому +1

      Because u are around wrong people. Most people are normies, find people like you.

    • @AC8wonderland
      @AC8wonderland 11 місяців тому +9

      Same ❤ In my bubble I feel free. I enjoy doing my little things, I read, Write, see vidéos, study, draw, and when I walk in the city, I enjoy doing it alone. Before I Was afraid to be like that. Now I feel it is à gift❤

    • @sfridisow185
      @sfridisow185 11 місяців тому +9

      WELL YOU STILL NEED SOME FORM OF SOCIAL LIFE!!! YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT SOCIAL HEALTH IS FOR YOUR OVERALL HEALTH?!! CONSIDERING HOW A HUMAN BEING CAN'T BECOME PERFECTLY HEALTHY IF THEY DON'T GET ENOUGH SOCIAL INTERACTION REALLY SHOWS HOW CRUEL SOCIAL ANXIETY IS!!!

    • @BabyCEQ
      @BabyCEQ 11 місяців тому +2

      Dein PB passt kaum zu deiner Person. Aber wer entspricht schon seinem Äusseren

  • @callumhaynes1384
    @callumhaynes1384 10 місяців тому +341

    "Stop searching for comfort in others"
    That statement really resonates

    • @AnnaTodorova_piano
      @AnnaTodorova_piano 8 місяців тому +17

      With me it doesn’t. We are social creatures and there’s nothing wrong in wanting love and affection.

    • @Andreas16375
      @Andreas16375 8 місяців тому +11

      I don’t mind spending time with myself and being alone. but a hug would be nice, just coming home and sitting down with someone after a hard day

    • @iiCounted-op5jx
      @iiCounted-op5jx 7 місяців тому +1

      its nothing but hardcore COPE!!!

    • @iiCounted-op5jx
      @iiCounted-op5jx 7 місяців тому +2

      @@AnnaTodorova_piano exactly, these ppl are coping hard

  • @rolandcarpenter4538
    @rolandcarpenter4538 11 місяців тому +252

    Here’s the thing: I already spend and enjoy a lot of time alone, but deep down I’m incredibly lonely, because I’m on the complete other side of the spectrum, where I spend almost all of my time alone and extremely rarely connect with any of my peers.

    • @JAKE-ng8yr
      @JAKE-ng8yr 11 місяців тому +63

      yeah exactly this, most people here don't get it. They just think alone= good, with people= bad. Yeah go and try to be alone for 5 years. Good luck buddy. We, the "aware" people are in minority, I would say only 10-20% of the people are aware, sentient. So yes, we get tired from most of the people, because they are different. But it doesn't mean that the only other choice is complete loneliness. No, we just unfortunately need to try harder than the rest to find people like us. But it's worth it. Having 2-3 GOOD friends that u feel connected to is way way way better than being alone. Quality over quantity.

    • @name-mh2cn
      @name-mh2cn 9 місяців тому +16

      Same, I dont run away from being alone, because I am literally alone all day. Its all Im used to, I dont know any different.
      I wish I could be able to sit with other people and have a deeper connection with them, but I cant

    • @qwertymehta8342
      @qwertymehta8342 9 місяців тому +9

      @@JAKE-ng8yr Exactly. I've spent far too much time with my thoughts and had no group to distract me from self destructive thoughts and, now I'm an anxiety riddles person that is constantly overthinking and overanalysing, unable to find a moments peace from my own mind.

    • @Sophia.sunsun
      @Sophia.sunsun 8 місяців тому +8

      I understand how challenging it can be to feel lonely despite spending a lot of time alone. It sounds like you may be longing for more meaningful connections with your peers. While enjoying time alone is important, human beings are naturally social creatures, and the need for social connection is inherent. It could be helpful to explore ways to expand your social circle and create opportunities for connection. Consider joining clubs or groups based on your interests, attending social events, or even exploring online communities to connect with like-minded individuals. It may take time and effort, but taking proactive steps towards building connections can help alleviate the sense of deep loneliness you're experiencing. Remember, reaching out and being open to new relationships can lead to fulfilling connections and a stronger sense of belonging.

    • @Austinearl7899
      @Austinearl7899 7 місяців тому +1

      @@JAKE-ng8yr isn't that a bit extreme? everyone is aware and sentient, people can just have different views. while I can agree with you I would much rather be with someone than be alone. being alone doesn't have to be bad. that's the whole message of this video, yes prolonged time being alone could lead to loneliness. however being alone could help you help yourself, and then connect to other people, AND maybe even then help somebody else. ya know?

  • @nomadp467
    @nomadp467 Рік тому +767

    I’ve been living in Finland for the past two years and one of the things I learned is the beauty of solitude. I relate to this story so much. Thanks for sharing!

    • @heinmolenaar6750
      @heinmolenaar6750 11 місяців тому +3

      Is living in Finland a lonely life?

    • @mikanuutinen2264
      @mikanuutinen2264 11 місяців тому +15

      ​@@heinmolenaar6750 Yes and this is coming from a finnish person

    • @heinmolenaar6750
      @heinmolenaar6750 11 місяців тому +2

      ​@@mikanuutinen2264the maker of this video comes from Latvia.

    • @heinmolenaar6750
      @heinmolenaar6750 11 місяців тому +6

      @@mikanuutinen2264 they say that Finland is the happiest country in the world. What you think about that? Is it true, while so many people in Finland are so lonely?

    • @Getyourwishh
      @Getyourwishh 11 місяців тому +8

      thats not healthy, you cant find happiness in yourself, we find happiness by doing meaningful things, like bonding with a fellow human.

  • @ny6978
    @ny6978 11 місяців тому +311

    As a hardcore introvert, this is the opposite problem I have. I do miss social interactions, but I burn out easily and crumple into my anxiety-ridden self and need to retreat from people. I love being alone with my thoughts, but my innermost needs for even a little social interaction is the bane of my existence. This is a great video for extroverts, it’s interesting viewing these issues from a different perspective.

    • @mauersegler
      @mauersegler 11 місяців тому +24

      Yesss, feel you. I got it with the first lines in video and immediately replyed with ''no I don't''. I tend to hide in my shell whenever something happens, mostly because there was never anyone who would take my problems seriously. No one to respect my moment of feeling miserable, which we all do, that's a part of life. Maybe that's the core of my loneliness. I never ask anyone to validate me. I want to, but safe enough people is such a rare occasion in my life for some reason.

    • @potassium4955
      @potassium4955 8 місяців тому +4

      @@mauersegler I definitely get that, though I am a mix of introverted-extrovert, I can and will talk to anyone and everyone, but I don't like people, anything more than a short conversation, I don't care about. Either way, you'll always have yourself, no one else will always and forever be there for you but you, so like the video said, talk to yourself

    • @savageantelope3306
      @savageantelope3306 8 місяців тому +2

      I literally feel the exact same as you

    • @iyednasra9116
      @iyednasra9116 8 місяців тому +2

      @ny6978 fellow hardcore introvert here, I get exhausted just from looking at people let alone being dragged to friends' sittings.. yet I crave socializing, whenever I'm alone my world starts collapsing and thoughts would eat me inside out, and the moment I meet any person, I'm happy for seconds until I don't wanna see anyone at all .. Sounds stupid goofy, I know.
      this video feels like its perfectly for me, not extroverts.
      Extroverts don't want to be alone, let alone learn to operate when alone.
      It's for me because I need to be alone for most of my day, and I need to learn to function without people around instead of thinking how I will die alone everytime whoever person I'm texting gets busy for 2 minutes. :P

    • @himathyjenkins
      @himathyjenkins 7 місяців тому +1

      Read "the courage to be disliked" I've also heard somewhere social exhausting is caused by putting on a mask, a front. Maybe that's why you feel drained after. Ask your self this. Are you really being yourself? Are you authentic, do you love yourself, do you feel worthy and enough as you are, if not, there is work to do.

  • @stern_noon
    @stern_noon Рік тому +165

    I've experienced the beauty of solitude long ago, I cut off unhealthy relationships from my life and I'm on my healing journey. I feel free when I'm all by myself but I do crave deep connections with other people. I feel like I keep meeting the wrong people (for me) in my life but I'm still hopeful that one day I'll meet my kind of people with whom our souls can connect.

    • @singforsang5130
      @singforsang5130 11 місяців тому +2

      Me too

    • @lou-xr5rz
      @lou-xr5rz 11 місяців тому +8

      fuuuck dude i could have written this myself. it took me years to realise my friend group was toxic for me, and i keep meeting people i just don't connect with. i'm staying optimistic that i'll find people with whom i feel genuinely at ease with but it's kinda hard.

    • @stern_noon
      @stern_noon 11 місяців тому +4

      @@lou-xr5rz I hope that we find the right people for us 🙏❤️❤️

    • @stern_noon
      @stern_noon 11 місяців тому +3

      @@singforsang5130 wish you the best.

    • @nomadronin707
      @nomadronin707 11 місяців тому

      No such thing as soul connection in this reality as women have no souls to connect with.

  • @the_gamblerman
    @the_gamblerman Рік тому +296

    My aggravation of loneliness happened a year ago, when a girl left me, but I got out of the hole. I was helped by several friends and my hobby - the gym.
    I'm back at it after a few years off, I'm 73kg now, I squat 120/10, bench press 110/6, deadlift 150/8 and I feel good. Quit drinking, now i am going farming and riding my 150cc motorcycle for fun. Keep moving dude! You are definitely not alone and like-minded people are nearby)) greetings from Ukraine.👋

    • @byrolands
      @byrolands  Рік тому +37

      Thank you for taking the time to comment! :)
      I'm with you on the gym part - any kind of physical activity is so important for our well-being.
      Слава Украине!

    • @_c.production
      @_c.production Рік тому +5

      It is such a nice video and your inspiring story telling makes this video better! As a video maker, it gives me such an inspiration🙏🏼

    • @alexandrealencar1796
      @alexandrealencar1796 11 місяців тому +6

      Working out for me is the best medicine to get mental clarity and stop the negative thoughts. Removing or reducing alcohol is also a good thing to do. Keep it up!

    • @KiliTheKiller
      @KiliTheKiller 11 місяців тому +1

      Dude, nice, I am white, european cis male in his 30s, walking 20.000 steps a day, 1000ccm motorcyle, 20-75mm Canon L Zoom Lens, 35 and 6x6 analog cameras, EMOS and CCD sensors, 24bit flac audio on my sony wh-1000xm5, I have a head like a rock and I'll stomp down that road. Maga

    • @goldensaurus
      @goldensaurus 11 місяців тому +1

      Be safe in Ukraine. Don't let the Russians get ya.

  • @siskfjkfkk
    @siskfjkfkk 11 місяців тому +70

    Since covid happened everything has gone down for me. Seems like I'm stuck. It feels like I'm drowning but I'm not dying and also I'm not floating. only stuck. Loneliness, sickness, failures and family problems have taken a toll on my mental and physical well-being. I hope it gets better for me as well as for others. Thanks for this video! Cheers

  • @Pandora234able
    @Pandora234able 11 місяців тому +118

    Sometimes I wonder if people are using solitude as an excuse not to confront social anxiety. It’s always good to explain the nuance of these things.
    We’re not meant to be alone forever.

    • @nanki4339
      @nanki4339 11 місяців тому +33

      This is interesting, i feel like there should always be a balance between spending time alone and having a good time with a couple of good friends, you have to be comfortable doing both.

    • @Halaa_
      @Halaa_ 11 місяців тому +12

      @@nanki4339 everything in moderation

    • @KristenZianourry2015
      @KristenZianourry2015 11 місяців тому

      I agree

    • @JuliBom
      @JuliBom 11 місяців тому +5

      ​@@nanki4339agreed. And I enjoy my own solitude but I also get sick of it

    • @JuliBom
      @JuliBom 11 місяців тому +2

      Or from a majority of comments I'm seeing, a defense from toxic connections. Solitude and exploring self love and identity are definitely important, but I hope it's a healthy desire rather than a response to the worse out there (and I tell myself this one too)

  • @MrDrpoptart
    @MrDrpoptart 11 місяців тому +97

    As someone who hates being alone and who lives secluded most of the week, this is pretty decent advice honestly. I usually think its weird to do certain things solo like going to a restaurant, checking out a particular store; lifting weights, but once I do so I feel relieved. Its easy to doomsday and believe you'll be outlined by strangers, however this is really rare(and if it happens, its usually not in a negative manner). Reminds me I should try stuff without bugging my friends for once lol. Thank you for reminding me of this and encouraging me to do it again :)

  • @smokymcpot5917
    @smokymcpot5917 10 місяців тому +42

    Im watching this sitting alone in a dark room wishing I could hear someone's voice other than my own. The cure for loneliness is another person not isolation. Trust me

    • @ilikecheesecake5682
      @ilikecheesecake5682 7 місяців тому +6

      hey! I have so much empathy for you, it’s something understand, but this is a naïve way of thinking about things. that is a short term solution, while allowing yourself to be alone occasionally can help loneliness to be less common. you may be right, but I know that what he’s saying is true for me. as soon as I am alone, I break down, feeling unbearably lonely, however I know that this is due to lack of exposure. if you’re alone most of the time, then yes, I believe you’re right. positive, meaningful human connect may be what you need: but that’s not true for the type of person this video is aimed at. much love

    • @sailormoonXx
      @sailormoonXx 7 місяців тому

      Hi. It's okay :( one day we won't be alone

  • @AIM-PR0T0
    @AIM-PR0T0 11 місяців тому +24

    Loneliness and being alone are two different things. Like you said, being alone is a good thing where it allows you to deepen a connection to yourself. To me, loneliness is a state where you don't have meaningful connections to the people around you

  • @anachronologist2017
    @anachronologist2017 11 місяців тому +68

    Love the video, but I also offer another perspective. I'm a natural introvert. Was seperated from family and raised in foster care since 9 years old. I have always been very comfortable being alone and with myself and even have a degree of social anxiety, feeling like I need to have at least some time alone every day or I'd go nuts.
    The downside to this is that me now at 35 years old, I've found it exceedingly difficult to form and maintain relationships. I can't name a single person I've known my entire life that is still with me today, and most people I know now I've only met in the last 15 or so years. I often go days or even weeks at a time without any significant interaction with another person, even online. Life feels hollow, empty, and unbearably lonely. I get crippling bouts of depression where I worry I live the rest of my life completely alone, never to form meaningful friendships or ever have a family of my own. Yes, being able to be comfortable alone with yourself is a virtue, but I also feel like (especially in today's culture), isolation can be a silent killer.
    Much love for the video my friend

    • @alsimanche
      @alsimanche 11 місяців тому +5

      Yes i understand this a lot, i feel like while there's nothing wrong with being an introvert, i feel like it's very important to have someone in your life, a friend or a partner who you could talk to and share everything with, i feel like as human, we need to have that human connection

    • @nomadronin707
      @nomadronin707 11 місяців тому

      The plus side of being 'forever alone' is that you don't have to worry about your wife randomly filing for divorce and taking your kids away or waking up one day and legally throwing you out of your own house because she had a dream where you cheated on her.

    • @insertnamehere5452
      @insertnamehere5452 11 місяців тому +8

      You explained my situation perfectly. It's peaceful but also is a silent killer.
      I hope you find the people for you. I hope we all do.

    • @majkel2720
      @majkel2720 11 місяців тому +2

      i don't understand. are you okay with not interacting with people for days/weeks? it sounds like you're not. you can be an introvert and still crave interactions sometimes. remember that you can text and/or ask to hang out your friends too, you don't have to go down the rabbit hole that you gonna live the rest of your life completely alone.

    • @atypicalmatias
      @atypicalmatias 7 місяців тому +1

      @@majkel2720that's not true LOL making significant connections as an adult its harder. People form family and spent time with their significant others.

  • @orp5us
    @orp5us 11 місяців тому +14

    my solitude keeps me sane, it really stresses me out when people cant respect that, especially when its the type of friend who cant stand being alone themselves

    • @theboilingbouquet
      @theboilingbouquet 11 місяців тому +2

      yeah i can relate to this. some people take it too personally that I want to spend time by myself or they think it's weird. I like it this way. It gives me time for myself. It's peaceful.

    • @JAKE-ng8yr
      @JAKE-ng8yr 11 місяців тому

      how long solitude? You can't be sane after not talking to someone for 3 years

    • @orp5us
      @orp5us 11 місяців тому

      @@JAKE-ng8yr cant even really function as a human that way no, but for every day I hang out with friends I would like a day or 2 to hang out with myself

  • @drugsarebad97
    @drugsarebad97 11 місяців тому +12

    When i was about 18-19 i was sitting alone on the couch in my apartment. I had texted all my friends from highschool (we all had recently graduated that year) and they were all busy. This was one of the first times i was truly unable to be around anyone. I took a moment and had a revelation: that is what life is. Being with ourselves, exploring our inner thoughts, finding who we truly are, and cherishing those moments when it’s just you and god.
    If you can master comfort in those moments, you’ll never truly be alone.

  • @j.d.s.8132
    @j.d.s.8132 11 місяців тому +34

    No better feeling than being lonely/alone at a place you have been years ago with friends that is now abandoned. I think it cured some of the emotional void I would say loneliness is:
    We used to have a small place in the woods as kids where we built a little shelter with rocks to sit on and interior like small chairs and stuff.
    Now, 10 years later I revisited and had to hack trough thick brush and trees to get there, bur it was worth the thorns and the scratches.
    It looked like I had remebred it, only now overgrown and old, but still with a feeling of childish innocence and the dreams we had of building a little cabin in the woods.
    It felt nostalgic, but with a huge sense of melancholy and like I abandoned a part of my life in these woods that stayed there for me to revisit one day.
    It even got kind of eerie as the sun set down, in a way that I have to abandon this place again, but this time forever.
    I still vividly remember the bike ride home, embraced by orange warm sunlight, like I was closing a chapter in my life. I even shed a tear or two, or more.
    But now, 3 years later, I still recall this day as a major shift in my life that made me feel less lonely, connecting with my childhood memory.

    • @appliancetraining
      @appliancetraining 11 місяців тому +3

      Same thing, forts in the woods and chairs made in the stone wall at the bus stop. Everyone has moved away. Memories burned in. 50 years ago and still I drift to those days.

    • @IIIISai
      @IIIISai 11 місяців тому +1

      nice

  • @xtalofficial06
    @xtalofficial06 11 місяців тому +11

    my issue is that i spend too much time alone. haven't had a genuine conversation with anyone for the past year. completely outcasted at college, and never had a genuine friend in secondary school and petrified of women. I have no social confidence to the point i'm petrified to get a job. Always feeling like the odd one out, never being able to relate nor connect with anyone. Whenever i show my true self, i get knocked down for it and told i'm wrong for being that way. Someone in class once said they'd rather k1ll themselves than speak to me-this is someone i've never spoken too, they barely even know my name. I'm so jealous that people actually have to FORCE themselves to be alone, rather than having NO OPTION other than to be alone

    • @singforsang5130
      @singforsang5130 11 місяців тому +1

      Although the difference is most of them have fake relationships with a person to fill their time. Genuine conversation,people are hard to come by atleast you aren't trapped in the world of fake friends. But I do understand you. After a while you crave it

  • @doomera5911
    @doomera5911 11 місяців тому +9

    There is a flip side to everything. I am a shut-in or what people would call an isolated person. I haven't had a meaningful social interaction or friend in three or four years. What we seek are friendships that meet our needs. It's when the need is not met people have a tendency to withdraw from society whether good or bad

    • @JAKE-ng8yr
      @JAKE-ng8yr 11 місяців тому +1

      yeah exactly this, most people here don't get it. They just think alone= good, with people= bad. Yeah go and try to be alone for 5 years. Good luck buddy. We, the "aware" people are in minority, I would say only 10-20% of the people are aware, sentient. So yes, we get tired from most of the people, because they are different. But it doesn't mean that the only other choice is complete loneliness. No, we just unfortunately need to try harder than the rest to find people like us. But it's worth it. Having 2-3 GOOD friends that u feel connected to is way way way better than being alone. Quality over quantity.

    • @derpherp1810
      @derpherp1810 11 місяців тому +2

      @@JAKE-ng8yr Yeah I agree but, its a little dehumanizing to see people as NPCs and to be fair some of that behavior comes from deep systemic issues but yeah regardless, I still have to cut people out of my life if they are toxic.

    • @JAKE-ng8yr
      @JAKE-ng8yr 11 місяців тому

      @@derpherp1810 maybe it is but im just saying it feels like they are npcs. Most people can't say anything interesting

    • @derpherp1810
      @derpherp1810 11 місяців тому

      @@JAKE-ng8yr I get how you feel, sometimes people be like that but hey being alone helps you understand your values and personality more so that can help you find people.
      For me, I know I just need to meet people who align with my political views because generally we share the same values and can have some solidarity in that. For you maybe its a hobby or a career path, but trust me you'll find good people again and even if they leave, all things shall pass even if it takes nearly an eternity.

  • @a-uniss9227
    @a-uniss9227 Рік тому +54

    Your work is amazing, your cinematography is incredible, and the morals you preach are phenomenal. Truly inspired me to start filming and get my life together

  • @baganbilashii
    @baganbilashii Рік тому +4

    I am 17 and i don't have lots of friends just 1 or 3 but 1 friend who is close to my heart but
    I care about her she doesn't; i used to get hurt but now i stop expecting from her , she goes outside with her another friends , she doesn't even call me , she call me when she need me , but i stop caring .
    But yesterday she again went outside with her friend , and they are also my friends and i got hurt , i cried over night i don't know why sometimes its really hurt but it's okay i am not gonna expect anymore i will never , and i will not go with them ; i will enjoy my company , i will go alone outside its not loneliness its solitude and i love to be myself .
    Your video is soo great , it's gets me on high level of energy >>>
    Love from India ♡

    • @old-soul
      @old-soul Рік тому +2

      This exactly happened to me when I was younger. Now I don't care if I do not have any friends. I enjoy my own company.
      You are on the right track, do not chase after friends. Let her disappear from your life, she is not a good friend 💕

    • @baganbilashii
      @baganbilashii Рік тому +1

      @@old-soul thank for your reply it's makes me feel good 😄

  • @toshix6001
    @toshix6001 4 місяці тому +1

    i do nearly everything alone and its not uncomfortable or embarrassing, its just sad. ive had my fair share of being alone in the last 3 years of living alone away from my family and friends, and sometimes i just wish i could laugh with someone at the joke i thought of, compliment the food were eating, etc. im fine being alone, but sometimes im so tired of it. i want to share my life, some moments with other people.

  • @SatishKumar-ve3oi
    @SatishKumar-ve3oi Рік тому +9

    Ultimately comfortable. Thank you . I trusted a girl she cheated me , trusted a friend lied to me . This makes me embrace solitude

  • @insertnamehere5452
    @insertnamehere5452 11 місяців тому +14

    Anyone else enjoy the feeling of actually being alone? Like literally no friends because you can't trust people due to horrible past experiences?
    I enjoy it a lot. I feel at peace and I tend to do things better when I'm alone.
    But I can't deny that I sometimes wish I had people to share my small achievements and happiness with. Graduating college and having no one to celebrate with feels devastating.
    But I'd choose being alone every time than feeling lonely when I'm with a group of people.

  • @XLORDPROPL
    @XLORDPROPL 9 місяців тому +1

    If you rock and stone... you're never alone!

  • @MatiasRijoM
    @MatiasRijoM Рік тому +6

    That shot at 1:55 is beautiful

  • @alexandrealencar1796
    @alexandrealencar1796 11 місяців тому +7

    This is not said a lot but for those that are really anxious spending a lot of time alone with your thoughts might not be the best solution. Try to find the sweet spot between interoception and exteroception.

  • @XLORDPROPL
    @XLORDPROPL 11 місяців тому +3

    "When you are alone you are not lonely"... Helped a lot for infinite loneliness... It does not help...

  • @sandrobirnbaumer5444
    @sandrobirnbaumer5444 9 місяців тому +5

    There's a big difference between choosing to spend time alone and not having an option

  • @Kyla21Diamond
    @Kyla21Diamond 7 місяців тому +1

    Omg. This video actually has help me realize that I thought surrounding myself with people will help with my social anxiety which will but also need go outside by myself and stop worry if the neighbors are judging me. Which they are not but my thoughts like tell they are. I need to do things by myself and also do things with those that I’m not use to.

  • @amiraccle
    @amiraccle 11 місяців тому +4

    i'm not kidding when i say this is what i actually need to hear rn. this is my new favourite video to rewatch whenever i felt lonely. thank you for making this video !! :)

  • @Henbot
    @Henbot 11 місяців тому +8

    It is very true. I embraced solitude couple years ago and it really did improve resilience, awareness and reflection as well as understanding of myself, facing my emotions and regrets head on and it did bring about a strange and unexpected clarity and recovery. Havnt dived into new hobbies or activities so I think it an element for me it wasn’t needed.
    It also gave me a lot of growth and maturity and inner peace as well as mastery over emotions but above all an egoless state.

  • @danielcooper7386
    @danielcooper7386 10 місяців тому

    as someone whp's been struggling with just being alone with themselves this video has put me on the right direction and genuinely made me feel like I can get back control of things again, thank you and I hope you keep making videos

  • @lostghost7915
    @lostghost7915 2 місяці тому

    "You don't need a distraction from the silence" beautiful quote

  • @Thenoobestgirl
    @Thenoobestgirl Рік тому +6

    I don't mind being alone. I do however mind being bored. That's just life with ADHD. We need constant stimulation so our brain could function effectively.

  • @NoWayz0o
    @NoWayz0o 11 місяців тому +8

    I’ve said it once and i’ll say it again - you really have a gift making videoes Rolands! Amazing shots, captivating story and a beautiful message - the thought of loneliness can be scary, but being alone dosen’t necessarily mean being lonely. I’ve struggled alot with this and I really try to embrace the enjoyment of being alone since your the only person your gonna be with 100% for the rest of your life. I still have a long way to go, but remember guys, one small step at a time :)
    Really excited to follow your journey Rolands! Keep it up my man! Much love to everyone from Denmark ❤

  • @popcorn5633
    @popcorn5633 Рік тому +4

    Omg you made my day!
    Please keep posting more! We really enjoy your content and vids🩷🩷🩷🦢

    • @byrolands
      @byrolands  Рік тому

      Thank you so much for the kind words! :))
      I really enjoy making these, so definitely more to come.

  • @Loonstadk
    @Loonstadk 11 місяців тому +2

    hey man, this video is brilliant. recently ive been seeking validation from other constantly and spending time alone literally means loneliness in my mind.

  • @zeusalvel4787
    @zeusalvel4787 10 місяців тому

    I was sobbing throughout this whole video, this has truly opened my eyes.

  • @pookiewookiebear14
    @pookiewookiebear14 11 місяців тому

    loved this sm! from the cinematography to your line delivery, it delivered this important message/lesson in a truly beautiful way

  • @omegalul31
    @omegalul31 11 місяців тому

    love how the video and the audio are two different messages that complement each other

  • @deltav4444
    @deltav4444 11 місяців тому

    i cant explain how much i needed this advice. thank you, truly.

  • @simpledown
    @simpledown 11 місяців тому +1

    Personal struggles made me "isolate" at first, but looking back - it was the greatest thing. Otherwise, I honestly don't think I could've experienced such inner growth, learned to reprogram my mind, and adopt a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle. Feeling full when you're alone is priceless. But it did raise my standards for other people immeasurably, which makes it difficult to enjoy most company. Good thing that at the end of the day, I always have myself though :) loved the message and cinematography you've shared!

  • @Kyla21Diamond
    @Kyla21Diamond 7 місяців тому +1

    It is good to be yourself. You will feel more free being yourself than being something that you are not.

    • @Pluto_060
      @Pluto_060 6 місяців тому

      this! i feel like a HUGE percentage of people are not being themselves, i think that's why i dont enjoy being around people. a lot of fake shit going on these days

  • @freeleexx
    @freeleexx 11 місяців тому

    The visuals are so aesthetic that I had to watch the video 2 times because the first time I didn't pay attention to the talking the first time

  • @ShotByMartinez
    @ShotByMartinez 29 днів тому

    I get to much from this one as a solo traveler and now I have trouble to talk to new people lmao. Have a good balance guys, don't get so much with yourself, social life is important to! . Amazing content g, love the message.

  • @savageantelope3306
    @savageantelope3306 8 місяців тому

    As someone who spends a lot of time alone it's really nice to realize that I have explored and learned so much about my self and the world, and done this already

  • @noitesdevento
    @noitesdevento 10 місяців тому

    Thank you for the puffs, it took the sand out of my eyes.

  • @n-deez5890
    @n-deez5890 Рік тому +6

    I love your videos man and im really glad your sharing these information with us. Keep doing what you love ❤️

  • @tracym7507
    @tracym7507 11 місяців тому +3

    I understand the benefits of spending time alone but when u are alone constantly sometimes u get sick of being in your head all the time and want to be around someone that understands u but u don't have that option, just makes being alone all the more lonely

  • @ReinaldoAssis
    @ReinaldoAssis 9 місяців тому +1

    "True growth comes in times when you are alone by yourself […] stop searching for comfort in others, embrace the silence and find happiness in yourself." That's a beautiful quote

  • @slippy3715
    @slippy3715 8 місяців тому

    Really glad you came up on my home page. Great thoughts, and this is shot in a very lovely way. Can’t wait to watch more. Cheers

  • @majkel2720
    @majkel2720 11 місяців тому

    thank you for this. i've never subscribed someone after watching 1 video until today.

  • @user-hb5hf5bu4g
    @user-hb5hf5bu4g 11 місяців тому +7

    Great words, and great cinematography. You have what it takes to reach the minds of the lost people, keep it up!

  • @Osirisxoffline47
    @Osirisxoffline47 11 місяців тому

    you're videos always pop up on my recommended at the right time

  • @isimonsez
    @isimonsez 6 місяців тому +1

    I like my alone time but equally like being around others. There are people who are alone because they may not connect with people or perhaps be socially awkward and others don’t want to be around them while others can’t be alone.

  • @SCJ_AFC010
    @SCJ_AFC010 7 місяців тому +2

    There's a difference between seeking comfort in others and ALWAYS seeking comfort in others. Our relationships and connections help us, we can understand ourselves better through connecting and relating with the close people in our life. I think instead of solely trying to have alone time, what we need to do is to try and find a balance between alone time and time with others.

  • @YOURRACHINAPRIL
    @YOURRACHINAPRIL 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for this Roland. You didn't know how much I needed this kind of video.

  • @DonDealio
    @DonDealio 2 місяці тому

    The hallmark of this physical existence where we all came to meet each other - is MOTION and CHANGE. This is the only constant.
    HOWEVER - The foundation of personal presence, observation, learning and outlook for the future - starts in STILLNESS. (Stillness of mind, first of all). That is the first bastion. And from there we can build.

  • @iseytheteethsnake6290
    @iseytheteethsnake6290 7 місяців тому

    As Christian’s the We are called to isolate from the world and seek God, reject worldly pleasures, and away from the noise of the city to more easily find God! It’s nice having this relationship

  • @TheRealMeowMeowShow
    @TheRealMeowMeowShow 7 місяців тому

    What an amazing video, got a long story of going to Jamaica on a whim and everyone doubting me, little did I know it would lead to me being lonely as soon after my relationship ended and people close to me didn't see the vision I had and was persuing... Fast forward to now Jamaica has been a turning point in my life, I was at a very low point in my life and wanted to really give up but my community kept me motivated!
    NEVER GIVE UP ON ANY DREAMS as wild as they may seem.

  • @akielasa
    @akielasa 3 місяці тому

    tons of love for this 🤍

  • @Paulog2003
    @Paulog2003 2 місяці тому

    Thank you so much for this you beautiful European man. The cinematography is perfect btw. You can be so lonely in a world full of people. Took the time to watch a movie by myself, and not my girlfriend, and have felt so rejuvenated.

  • @shramikapawar8281
    @shramikapawar8281 3 місяці тому

    This video is exactly what i needed ! all my friends betrayed me , going through breakup phase and the worst that can happen is my ocd got triggered again , anxiety, depression, I can’t spend time alone with myself with all the negative thoughts. Im trying to enjoy and embrace this feeling of solitude still haven’t managed to overcome this loneliness but im trying !!!!

  • @MagicalMindsByAmra
    @MagicalMindsByAmra 2 місяці тому

    I very much agree with you. Instead of running away from solitude, lets find ways to enjoy the person we are alone with, so we wont feel lonely but content.

  • @user-ux8ns2bj3e
    @user-ux8ns2bj3e Рік тому +1

    Love from Taiwan! I’m feel deeply about your description of loneliness.❤

  • @valiibraimi195
    @valiibraimi195 9 місяців тому

    there has been long time that video finished without looking at the status, after very long time I was really engaged with video properly as it should your point is tremendously relevant, I didn’t think of this Thanks for enlightening me and others

  • @cosmicpotato3849
    @cosmicpotato3849 11 місяців тому

    God bless for the captions brother

  • @eddygatlin
    @eddygatlin 7 місяців тому

    That was a masterpiece, i resonated with so many awkward instances, therapy is helpful, also looking into philosophies like stoicism as a guide for balancing emotion is good

  • @Beanie_peep
    @Beanie_peep 11 місяців тому

    Your cinematography adds to it all. Thanks friend.

  • @kendrickttran
    @kendrickttran 11 місяців тому +1

    amazing work! your vision and how well you are able to execute it are truly amazing, there is a sense of authenticity in your films. I know I am just a stranger on the Internet, but keep it up. Whatever it is you hope to get from sharing your art, I'm sure is well on its way.

  • @6shot9
    @6shot9 7 місяців тому

    0:57 I love that you added that clip, going for a drive is like mediation, I always take the long way home and have fun getting lost in the city and seeing all the cool little spots that are right there but I had no idea about

  • @fillwerrell5715
    @fillwerrell5715 2 місяці тому

    This video was really helpful. I have been living alone in a different country and to be honest the couples of months have been rough. I"ll take your advise and spend some quality time with myself everyday.

  • @agarioprobropromaster9918
    @agarioprobropromaster9918 9 місяців тому

    what a masterpiece. Respect.

  • @matannahum2646
    @matannahum2646 Рік тому

    actually i'm in love with your videos. thank u so much!

  • @abrahammorales3266
    @abrahammorales3266 3 місяці тому

    This makes a lot of sense!

  • @ws6778
    @ws6778 11 місяців тому +1

    I cannot believe that this video made me miss myself!

  • @michaelstaschke9022
    @michaelstaschke9022 7 місяців тому

    this is actually really good advice

  • @des..
    @des.. 8 місяців тому +1

    Being alone makes you understand life and makes you know yourself. But not forever, loneliness is deadly, remember, the human being is born to share, and without love life is not worth living.

  • @adityarajput8379
    @adityarajput8379 7 місяців тому

    The cinematography done just makes the video even better ,❤️

  • @only_biggs
    @only_biggs Рік тому

    Absolutely stunning video, thank you bruv

  • @cadencollier9225
    @cadencollier9225 11 місяців тому

    Really liked the cinematography and message. I find it so hard to get out unless I have someone to go outside with but time keeps passing by. I hope to find my own ways to "start small" so I can be more comfortable being alone with no distractions.

  • @takshakmudgal
    @takshakmudgal 11 місяців тому

    Thanks for this!

  • @0trapalleiro
    @0trapalleiro 9 місяців тому

    work of art

  • @deepspace5121
    @deepspace5121 2 місяці тому

    Yes this is true. But there comes a time you need to socialize. But the problem is, people are too busy.

  • @blubberingCephalopod
    @blubberingCephalopod 11 місяців тому +2

    My partner is gone completely for 2 weeks and I've never felt more alone, but I think this video is just what I needed to start being comfortable with that. I think that I'm going to start appreciating solitude a little bit more

  • @larry6597
    @larry6597 11 місяців тому

    this video is great and just what I needed

  • @socialglitch2663
    @socialglitch2663 8 місяців тому

    I needed to hear this. Thank you.

  • @nusratjahankhan4954
    @nusratjahankhan4954 9 місяців тому

    Thank you so much for this ♥️

  • @joss69847
    @joss69847 11 місяців тому

    Did move to the UK for one year after loosing someone I truly loved and being on my own many times helped a lot
    Thanks for sharing ❤

  • @pimdeboerr
    @pimdeboerr 11 місяців тому

    I love the colour grading on this video! Looks amazing!!

  • @migueelcarmona
    @migueelcarmona 11 місяців тому

    I love the way you make your videos

  • @user-lm2bf6nj7y
    @user-lm2bf6nj7y 11 місяців тому

    Beautifully shot!

  • @Shabberry
    @Shabberry 11 місяців тому

    thanks for sharing this, learning this truly is an art.

  • @lamarisarroyo9209
    @lamarisarroyo9209 7 місяців тому

    right on time. thank you.

  • @courtneys5109
    @courtneys5109 6 місяців тому

    Perfect video at the perfect time

  • @WordsCannotExplainMe
    @WordsCannotExplainMe 11 місяців тому

    Thanks, I needed to hear this again today

  • @jolan6915
    @jolan6915 6 місяців тому

    Thanks to you I now feel better when going to the bar alone ❤

  • @georgeflitzer7160
    @georgeflitzer7160 3 місяці тому

    Loved all this video.