Ask A Therapist: How To Cope With Loneliness

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  • Опубліковано 4 лют 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 370

  • @jeremywindfield2658
    @jeremywindfield2658 Рік тому +793

    To whoever is reading this, if you ended up on this video, maybe you’ve also been experiencing a bunch of emotional breakdowns recently like me. I want you to know you’re not alone and that you are capable of much more than you think. It’s time to turn the switch, battle through the anxiety and put yourself out there to build a social life with meaningful connections. I’ll try in the coming few months, and I hope you will too.

    • @jeremywindfield2658
      @jeremywindfield2658 Рік тому +3

      @@ainsley_spillan No problem, you deserve a happy social life just like everyone. I’ve been going to a psychologist for a while now and it has helped me tackle the issue more seriously, every time i go to a session I want to tell them what I had done in the past week. Maybe that could work for you as well?

    • @lr8504
      @lr8504 Рік тому +1

      How are you doing?

    • @apokyrfter413
      @apokyrfter413 Рік тому +13

      Thank you, but unfortunately I have no idea how building a social life is done.

    • @siobhanleighton5060
      @siobhanleighton5060 Рік тому +10

      What when you lost all your family and friends and cant get over it

    • @Instant_Nerf
      @Instant_Nerf Рік тому +5

      A social life with all the narcissist’s? No thank you .. I’d rather be lonely

  • @daria_avery
    @daria_avery 8 місяців тому +290

    i can’t stand when people say >you are not alone < yes i am - i’m not the only one struggling but i am struggling alone

    • @AhsokaTano101
      @AhsokaTano101 8 місяців тому +5

      Fr but they want you to feel less lonely think about it. You technically ain't the only one with the problem so why should you feel alone dealing with it

    • @heatherhaddon3684
      @heatherhaddon3684 8 місяців тому +16

      Feel so lost. No one checks on me. It’s truly like not one person cares except Susan. And Susan is my cat

    • @iu.lia.na.
      @iu.lia.na. 8 місяців тому +5

      @@heatherhaddon3684 at least you have your cat I live by myself

    • @AhsokaTano101
      @AhsokaTano101 8 місяців тому +1

      @victoriousbooks to assume anyone knows how it works is even more incorrect. I might be wrong but thanks to what I do know I'm not at this terrible state of mind

    • @victoriousbooks
      @victoriousbooks 8 місяців тому +2

      @@AhsokaTano101 ok I deleted my stupid comment

  • @moon_moodlet
    @moon_moodlet Рік тому +169

    As someone who is struggling with loneliness i really dont appreciate seeing the adverse affects listed time and time again, i'm already at the bottom and it adds to my stress. Just focus on solutions and empathy.

    • @nathelm8693
      @nathelm8693 10 місяців тому +4

      You have to master loneliness and introspect to truly accept yourself: you can't accept others or be accepted if you haven't found self-acceptance through growth. At least that's what I convince myself to stave this feeling off.

    • @Achi-g4r
      @Achi-g4r 6 місяців тому +4

      Time to time? Season of loneliness? I've been feeling lonely eversince I've been able to think for myself, thats 16 yrs now.

    • @mish375
      @mish375 5 місяців тому +2

      @@nathelm8693 That's a limited way to think about it. Someone who has been abused, for instance, will know nothing other than self-shame. It is only through others caring for them that they can recontextualize their reality and start on that journey of self-actualization. Aka find value in themselves. Most of these people are lonely because no one cared for them to begin with.

    • @estherlane7498
      @estherlane7498 4 місяці тому +2

      Absolutely. It's ridiculous

  • @dariomargeli
    @dariomargeli Рік тому +41

    Spends the first 6 minutes telling you what you already know that loneliness is bad. Skip to 5:46 let's hope something useful is said at that point

    • @crystinamarie1
      @crystinamarie1 Рік тому +10

      😂 I was waiting for this comment. I was like yeah, we know loneliness is deadly, just get to the advice.

    • @DubaiiMakavelii
      @DubaiiMakavelii 8 місяців тому

      Ty

    • @EdelweisSusie
      @EdelweisSusie Місяць тому

      There wasn’t - same generic guff.

  • @nmp3
    @nmp3 Рік тому +137

    I wish we didnt blame the loneliness of Gen Z just on social media. Ive been dealing with intense loneliness for a year, and i havent even used social media in a long time. I just wish we wouldn't overlook all the other reasons we get lonely.

    • @jayaves8789
      @jayaves8789 Рік тому +17

      I’m young millennial/ old gen z (I still don’t know) and rarely spent any time on social media. Sometimes I think my lack of social media presence contributed to my lack of close friends but yeah it seems like there’s no winning and people are just trying to find something to blame

    • @varshasrivastava492
      @varshasrivastava492 Рік тому

      @@jayaves8789I have the same thought . Sometimes when people talk about a viral video , song ,etc . I feel like I am unnecessarily putting myself out of the loop leading to my own abandonment.

    • @indigoechos6796
      @indigoechos6796 8 місяців тому

      They don't care about effort

    • @sanctuaryplace
      @sanctuaryplace 7 місяців тому +1

      Agree

    • @ayushiydvKG
      @ayushiydvKG 5 місяців тому

      true, same story

  • @nineangels7572
    @nineangels7572 9 місяців тому +37

    My family has all passed away. I moved to a new city after the losses. I've been here 8 years, 3 of those years the recent Covid/Isolation time frame. Thankfully, I'm an Introvert & that made managing a little easier. I worked in public service until retirement. I got myself into therapy recently, but during covid, there were no openings for counseling. I know what I need & want to accomplish through counseling. I volunteer, I help the less fortunate and I rescued pets to fill my home with life. I'm a single woman. I joined a music group on Tiktok and even found friends there in the same age group. I listen to podcasts to learn, I enjoy hearing others & how they deal with the subject at hand & other social issues. Never give up, keep learning and know what you want your goal to be. For me, it was enjoying my independence, having inner peace & serving others. I feel content & happy.

    • @Dr.Manjima
      @Dr.Manjima 7 місяців тому +2

      Loved your version. Gave good vibes instantly. Thank you ❤

    • @cyn5962
      @cyn5962 5 місяців тому +1

      My parents have passed away and the grieving process causes me to feel alone even in a room full of people.

  • @jacklanders7527
    @jacklanders7527 Рік тому +48

    I’m in it now and have been quite a number of years…. Desperately searching UA-cam at this point and so many videos have been 100% useless (even Ted talks - by super social people on loneliness?!) but this video actually was Very good, really …… stepping out of comfort zone , starting w fun activities w others , great ideas . Means more than you could know, to me thanks

  • @keishaanna
    @keishaanna 2 роки тому +45

    Why couldn't someone just tell me this?
    Every time I check social media, I see my friends in their groups, and I feel like I will never have what they have. I felt like I was the only one with no real friends. But every time I think about it, I realize how much of a lie it is. I do have friends, just when I check social media I feel far away from the people and the times that make me feel accepted and a part of something. This video makes me feel normal. THANK YOU! Needed this

    • @DrThereseMascardo
      @DrThereseMascardo  2 роки тому +7

      You are SO NOT ALONE! social media defo can suck in that way. Here’s to the things that remind us we ARE loved and ok!

    • @falaqnaaz6123
      @falaqnaaz6123 9 місяців тому +2

      Me too .... whenever I checked social media,I feel alone more & more

    • @rachelabee128
      @rachelabee128 9 місяців тому

      You are the best friends of yourself. I have no social media and stop using WhatsApp since pandemy _ I won't support Meta for what they did. So it looks like if you are on whatssap you have friends if not they don't even call .. This way I have prooved myself that I don't have real friends. But I will find new soon . Just need more time to get better with myself

  • @kellyblakely5955
    @kellyblakely5955 2 роки тому +56

    Loneliness is one of the most difficult things to work through especially in a new environment. Reaching out to a close friend or participating in an comforting activity that brings joy are my two main tools to help me process any feelings of loneliness that happen. Walking or playing beat saber (or any kid of moment) also help redirect any negative feelings and focus on those endorphins for better sleep quality. Thank you for clearly defining loneliness and solitude. I used to think they emote the same results. I hope anyone who is combating loneliness knows that you are not alone and there is a friend out there who would be willing to listen or be present for you. Thanks Dr. Therese for all of the great information!

    • @DrThereseMascardo
      @DrThereseMascardo  2 роки тому +7

      Thanks for your thoughts. Walking is seriously underrated!

    • @rohitsasmal8146
      @rohitsasmal8146 11 місяців тому

      Can I watch movies during time of loneliness to be become comfortable and relaxed​@@DrThereseMascardo

  • @TalktheStreets
    @TalktheStreets 2 роки тому +29

    Moving abroad can be so lonely but I’m much better at being alone now than I used to be ❤ Such an important topic to cover

    • @DrThereseMascardo
      @DrThereseMascardo  2 роки тому +4

      Sounds like you’re rocking solitude! And yes moving abroad can be TERRIFYING and lonely, what an amazing thing to do though 🙌🏼

    • @Instant_Nerf
      @Instant_Nerf Рік тому +2

      Problem is social media is narcissists. I’d rather be alone. Too many fakes

  • @juliansanchez9106
    @juliansanchez9106 Рік тому +38

    I hope this time i can get out of this 4 year season of loneliness

  • @Dianka.n
    @Dianka.n 9 місяців тому +21

    Loneliness is a horrible thing to go through it really makes you feel like youve hit rock bottom and no matter how much u try to claw out you keep falling back in ive lost most my hope

  • @alexhrtcore
    @alexhrtcore Рік тому +107

    Am I the only one that felt this didn’t answer anything at all about loneliness

    • @wonderingsoul8304
      @wonderingsoul8304 Рік тому +27

      Watching this video made me feel more lonely, was here to listen to solution from a therapist perspective, rather then explaining what's loneliness. Doesn't answer anything, was this a promotional video?

    • @Applefablestudio
      @Applefablestudio 6 місяців тому +2

      I believe there isn't one right answer to solve loneliness as everyone has different kinds of causes to loneliness. She does suggest some solutions around 5:36

    • @lelm5664
      @lelm5664 5 місяців тому +1

      You're not the only one , i felt worst after watching

    • @dr.hiccup573
      @dr.hiccup573 4 місяці тому +2

      @@Applefablestudiothats good advice… for people who have friends. If you are truly alone i dont really see how “inviting people out for drinks and opening up to people ect ect ect” is gonna help you when you dont have anyone to go out with and talk to 😅

    • @RoseMarabe-gp6ge
      @RoseMarabe-gp6ge 4 місяці тому

      Yeah this was a bad one

  • @paulcooper-n2v
    @paulcooper-n2v Рік тому +72

    I'm 24/7 alone no friends no family.

    • @civilizedsatyr
      @civilizedsatyr 10 місяців тому +7

      Same

    • @arcticfox7175
      @arcticfox7175 9 місяців тому +2

      same here

    • @Berkovicka
      @Berkovicka 8 місяців тому +3

      Same ..we should connect

    • @AhsokaTano101
      @AhsokaTano101 8 місяців тому +1

      ​@chichan6969 out of the 3 of you I think you have more hope on surviving. At least you are trying to progress

    • @humanity3437
      @humanity3437 8 місяців тому +2

      Same😢

  • @aisforapple2494
    @aisforapple2494 Рік тому +53

    The price of vulnerability is far too high a price to pay!
    They turn around and use your vulnerability against you!

    • @PintoConrad
      @PintoConrad 8 місяців тому +6

      For me it is that people start avoiding you because they don't want to deal with your vulnerability.

    • @cyn5962
      @cyn5962 5 місяців тому +1

      Exactly

  • @erindurfee7553
    @erindurfee7553 2 роки тому +13

    This was so helpful. I especially appreciate the suggestions you shared to combat loneliness. Living alone during the pandemic has been very challenging and I’m so grateful that more social activities are coming back.

    • @DrThereseMascardo
      @DrThereseMascardo  2 роки тому +4

      I’m so glad you managed to make it through such a hard season, and into this one with more social activities! 🙌🏼

  • @vickygupta4263
    @vickygupta4263 Рік тому +13

    Participating in activities and doing some work just to keep yourself busy or distracted is never a solution to overcome loneliness.
    Loneliness comes from surrounding yourself with people who make you feel unwanted, casual disrespect, not connecting with yourself and not understanding your inner peace.
    Again, keeping yourself busy is not a solution to overcome loneliness

  • @danajuarez3113
    @danajuarez3113 8 місяців тому +12

    I’m 54 years old. The friends I had have either gotten married or have family matters to deal with or have children too. I’m not married and I don’t have a boyfriend either. Needless to say : I’m tired of it. Wen I was younger I just figured that friends came the same way as a boyfriend did, they just came into my life wenever they came.

  • @SuperStrangSshadow
    @SuperStrangSshadow Рік тому +19

    I've been living with loneliness all my life and I'm 40.

  • @Arianagizycko
    @Arianagizycko 2 роки тому +8

    I agree with you, sometimes it feels easier to stay inside the comfort zone than trying to get out there... such a great reminder not only on this topic but for anything in life. 😬

  • @elianad2083
    @elianad2083 3 місяці тому +5

    I felt alone even in my Childhood. It came from my most early childhood age (1-6 years old) where I was severely neglected by an Alcoholic Mother. I was left alone for days on end alone while she would go to her Modeling assignments than her bar binges. My Dad loved me very much but he had to travel a lot for business. He hired a "nanny" to take care of me and my older brother. My other Four siblings were taken away from our emotionally abusive mother by the courts to go and live with relatives or their biological fathers. My mother never married so she had children with different men. I was the youngest. I was unloved, an inconvenience, and unwanted. When I cried she would not pick me up. Just lock me in a bathroom. I have repressed a lot of these memories. Luckily at the age of six my Dad came home early from his trip and couldn't believe what he saw and was horrified. My mother fired the Nanny repeatedly (he found this out later) he had me and my brother taken away by the courts where his Sister and brother in law adopted us and gave us a fairytale childhood. But I remember feeling empty a lot, feeling alone, feeling like I didnt belong, feeling empty. This was in the 70's, when not much was understood about depression and Borderline personality disorder as well as PTSD. So it followed me into my adulthood causing me significant distress with authority figures, relationships, I have never been married..never had much in the way of friendships. Today I am 62 years old. On Social Security Disability, no car, no friends. I have been told I have a lot to offer. I managed to get my Masters degree. I sabotaged my last relationship due to intense fear of abandonment. I have been in therapy for decades. On Several meds for decades..but my life has not improved. My childhood still follows me. I have pretty much given up and feel I have been given a life sentence of loneliness and emptiness. I'm kind, love animals, help people, volunteer for animals and soup kitchens..yet I come home and the Depression and loneliness hit again knowing I will face the Holidays and my birthday alone. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

    • @Professor.Joe1
      @Professor.Joe1 Місяць тому

      Thank you for sharing your story. You are doing wonderful things in your community and I hope the next year brings you new relationships, new experiences, and joy.

  • @fburnsDubstepEnderFox
    @fburnsDubstepEnderFox 9 місяців тому +11

    People don't want to be approached or talked to, so going out and trying to make friends is impossible. 😅

  • @Robbie-ll5ge
    @Robbie-ll5ge 6 місяців тому +14

    I don’t see how it’s helpful to begin the video with telling me that loneliness is as bad as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Why bring more anxiety to my loneliness? “I feel bad so let’s watch a vid on how to feel better. Oh so it’s actually killing me 🙃”

    • @scc8728
      @scc8728 3 місяці тому +2

      I felt the same - it's seems hopeless. I don't have any real friends but I least thought I had my health and the gym... it really extra unfair that because people don't like me it's like smoking 15 cigarettes a day

  • @clarencehammer3556
    @clarencehammer3556 7 місяців тому +13

    I live a very isolated existence. I live alone and am at home alone 99% of the time. I have no social life and I feel more and more disconnected as time goes on. The only time I leave the house is if I have some essential business to take care of like grocery shopping or bill paying or medical appointments.

    • @niqcal
      @niqcal 5 місяців тому

      Me too. And feeling lonely.

    • @gekmas435
      @gekmas435 3 місяці тому +1

      Oh well i am Stay at home mum. I feel the same for last 10 years but even when i was party girl in my 20 i always feel lonely, never fit in, never really making impact, friends call me only to asked help but when they have fun they will be with someone else..

  • @Applefablestudio
    @Applefablestudio 6 місяців тому +4

    I can trace back my feelings of loneliness due to social media/lack of real life interaction. I see other artists having big sucesses and I feel I haven't progress much. Or this intense feeling to help others, to feel like I accomplish something. It's interesting to learn that it can also be felt even when around friends and people.

    • @J35u5Ch4i5t
      @J35u5Ch4i5t 6 місяців тому

      *Other* artists? You think you're an artist?

    • @snugray_p1659
      @snugray_p1659 6 місяців тому

      @@J35u5Ch4i5t What's an artist anyway?

  • @eringrobler8345
    @eringrobler8345 2 роки тому +8

    Such great tips Dr.Therese! 👍🏻
    So important to speak about loneliness especially when dealing with the downside of social media and the aftermath of the pandemic.

  • @videoettaceo8900
    @videoettaceo8900 10 місяців тому +1

    Dang woman, you hit me right in the ♥ with your explanation of not being seen, heard, etc.

  • @ninacaz9788
    @ninacaz9788 2 місяці тому +1

    thank you dr for the tips! i know what the source of my loneliness is and i think i should starting to detox my self from social media for couple of months, start to socialize with 'real people' because these days i'm being a chronically online like almost 24/7.

  • @F.347
    @F.347 2 місяці тому +1

    Anybody who is feeling lonely..( like me.. maybe, worser than me) A virtual hug to you.. Everything will be alright dear 💖 & trust yourself, you are the rockstar.. you are going to defeat all the bad battles and you are the absolute winner ❤

  • @pnt1100
    @pnt1100 2 роки тому +9

    Love the preventative care analogy! Your mind is just as important as your body

    • @DrThereseMascardo
      @DrThereseMascardo  2 роки тому +1

      Thank you 🙏🏼 now if we could just get everyone to agree 😉

    • @Proposal12
      @Proposal12 8 місяців тому

      "Your mind is just as important as your body" is obvious, she didnt say anything really....

  • @PintoConrad
    @PintoConrad 8 місяців тому +5

    I got to meetups but people hardly ever show up again. How do you build meaningful connections when you aren't the type of person who hits it off when you meet someone for the first time?

  • @toriambrr
    @toriambrr Рік тому +9

    working 10 hours a day, including commute time, i think is a big part of what triggers my loneliness. but i’m making it my business to join a yoga studio and/or running club on saturdays, two things i love 😊

  • @nomadicbydesign0
    @nomadicbydesign0 3 місяці тому +1

    I've started reading your book. The images are gorgeous, and the information so easy to understand. Thanks for your efforts. This is very helpful to me.

  • @patriciaonofre7294
    @patriciaonofre7294 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you Therese for raising awareness about this topic ❤️. I believe that the busy and fast word we live in plus the amount of time spent on screen have a big impact on this. I personally feel that most of the time there is a sense of urgency that doesn't allow you to be fully present and then you start feeling disconnected. Keep the good work Therese, very interesting content!

  • @mistyrose8515
    @mistyrose8515 7 місяців тому +2

    Found this video and am trying to figure out how to combat loneliness. I want to give up. I've been through too much.

  • @MetalWoodpecker
    @MetalWoodpecker 27 днів тому

    Oh my god thank you!!! I’m leading a men’s group and I hope they will work on saying no… we will go through your book!! Thank you so much!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜

  • @logarajanm
    @logarajanm 4 місяці тому +4

    I’ve uninstalled social media since it made me feel more lonelier

    • @trydowave
      @trydowave 16 днів тому

      How’d it work out? If you’re here still?

    • @logarajanm
      @logarajanm 15 днів тому

      @@trydowave It worked out well , started spending quality time with people around me

  • @vivalila4862
    @vivalila4862 7 місяців тому +5

    I feel like i’m doing all these. I feel like i’m a good, warm person that you can break through with just a smile but nobody does smile or say hello. I feel like life is not worth living cause i keep doing is loving myself in order to show up for the world and yet i have no one. If I don’t go out I wouldn’t hear another person’s voice. No texts from anyone unless i first text them and they wouldn’t even take me seriously when i say i think I’m depressed or lonely. I invite people out so i can hear new stories besides the one i feed my mind but they don’t show up. Nobody cares my ego would keep telling me. Or they do something and don’t ask me out or include me. I’m just tired living in this pain.

  • @kirkwhite1736
    @kirkwhite1736 3 місяці тому +2

    I'm 51, I have been dealing with Loneliness for most of my life. I have tried all the suggestions said on this video and it has been unhelpful to say the least. The core of this Loneliness is trying to find a woman for a relationship which will never happen now. Even though I see people and go out, I pick solitude over those ideas mentioned.

    • @heidimaria777
      @heidimaria777 Місяць тому

      Why do you think a relationship will never happen? There are plenty of women your age who are looking for partners.

    • @kirkwhite1736
      @kirkwhite1736 Місяць тому

      @@heidimaria777 I've tried for 35 years to find a relationship with little results. I'm Done.

    • @heidimaria777
      @heidimaria777 Місяць тому

      @@kirkwhite1736 Oh OK. I still have hope but it does seem more difficult at this age.

  • @nerelle12
    @nerelle12 5 місяців тому +1

    I am going through a lonely time lately and I guess this is why I watched this video. to all the lonely people out there - I hope you can find something to hang on to and keep going and you find relief one day. Loneliness can come particularly from Western societal structures and attitudes that encourage independence and avoid sharing vulnerabilities or weaknesses. It can also come from illness (both physical and mental health issues or the impact of trauma which results in an inability to be around others maybe not being able to trust or share feelings or perhaps not being able to leave the home. There is shame attached to feeling and admitting loneliness because it can open you up to judgment about your lack of social skills or being too needy. The full responsibility seems lies on the shoulders of the lonely one to fix their loneliness because there is a tendency in society to blame the individual for being lonely in the first place. I think the fact we have an alarming rise in serious chronic loneliness is a sign of our society's poor health as a system that is fractured and disconnected. I guess I tend to see it as a societal health issue rather than an individual issue. It is also a very serious risk factor in the prevalence of suicide. So having said all that, I think the greatest obstacle to coping with and finding a way to reduce loneliness is to try not to take on the shame about being lonely and reach out for help. at the very least make use of LIFELINE phone service so you at least have regular human connection and support if nothing else is an option. Be kind to yourself.

  • @mac1975
    @mac1975 Рік тому +15

    My life is a continuous track of loneliness: it’s been 8 weeks since anyone called. Since I spoke to another human being. My family never call. I have to call them. After years of helping them out with cars and money. I know that If didn’t ring them they wouldn’t ring me. I went 2 years without any contact with them. My friends have spread the world over and no one stays in touch. I want to die

    • @poorvashetty7393
      @poorvashetty7393 Рік тому +3

      this feels so relatable

    • @Gamermodgirl
      @Gamermodgirl 10 місяців тому +2

      I hear you, it's similar for me. I always have to initiate contact with family/friends to get attention. It sucks, i mean really.

    • @blueskies00
      @blueskies00 5 місяців тому +3

      Please don't die nice person
      I feel your pain. I get depressed and lonely 2. Youre def not alone

    • @petermusto3704
      @petermusto3704 5 місяців тому +1

      I can relate to you. My family will never call. I have to text them. They don't care. And when I die, they're my Beneficiaries of all my assets. They'll do quite well upon my death. My last 3 remaining friends want nothing to do with me. Won't spend even 5 minutes talking over the phone. I find the only way to escape is to sleep very long hours to forget about the pain. There are many times I want to die and leave this miserable existence. I'm 68, retired and there's no one who gives a s#i+

    • @Sadune85
      @Sadune85 4 місяці тому

      I want to die too.

  • @Ms.Chan.T
    @Ms.Chan.T 4 місяці тому +2

    This is not a generational thing. Im a millennial and dealing with this. I tried being vulnerable, opening up, but I guess it was too much. Im sorry I didn't have a happy childhood like you and was in foster care.

  • @amandam480
    @amandam480 Рік тому +7

    @6:00 I would say while it's important to have hobbies and interests so that you have things to talk about it doesnt necessarily end loneli ess. Havjng company doesn't end it.
    Groups can vary and its pure luck finding someone on your wave length.
    Having company helps but it's the type of company. I've swapped numbers with people I've met volunteering, at courses, at meetups etc but 99% I've met them once and they have ghosted me or while they respond to my texts they make no effort to keep in contact. So the friendships are one sided.
    Making friend as an adult is hard and luck plays a huge part in it.
    I go to activities now for the events or to improve my skills. I try not to focus on the making of friends or the fact I'm lonley painfully so.
    Ivebeen lonely since my mid teens. I've just not had much luck with this friendship thing. Oh well...
    Good thing I can do things on my own 😊

  • @RaySelwood
    @RaySelwood 10 місяців тому +3

    Long term loneliness saps the confidence and you become so socially paralised that no change can be made. Real loneliness is not manageable...

  • @leighannstevenson5033
    @leighannstevenson5033 4 місяці тому +2

    I became that lonley that I have turned in to a bit of an attention seeker and turned in to a different person because sometimes I was seeking negative attention. I don't feel the same person anymore 😢

  • @davidmerriott7611
    @davidmerriott7611 8 місяців тому +2

    I stay engaged by doing community theatre, attending concerts, traveling, hiking. I have found mostly well-intentioned but only casual connection. It’s better than nothing. Older widowers like myself are a bit of a third wheel. Facebook interestingly gives me a positive connection. When I travel, it gives me a group to share my experiences with even though I’m alone. It can be a struggle to stay upbeat.

  • @rajeshnvijo-dj7dk
    @rajeshnvijo-dj7dk Рік тому +5

    Lonliness is very serious issue. Ending up all alone with absolutely no one will drive you insane....
    You feel it and it hurts 24 hours of the day...
    I can't imagine what my aunt went through living all alone and she was found dead by neighbour .... 😢

  • @user-bu7oz1lx4e
    @user-bu7oz1lx4e 7 місяців тому +2

    Well...the thing is... after 10 years of loneliness and girls psycopath bullying, I tried putting myself out there, got high school friends wich I NEVER were truly vunreable to, never told my inner toughts and darknes to wich also made me feel lonely around them.... and so the year after graduating I went to this lovely school with outdoors hiking life typa gang I got better connections, but not quite...because I truly never could let myself free bc of trauma. And now I have lost all of them. I also wirked a job I was so confident in first...but ended up quitting after 5 colleagues quit the same day because my other collegue got called a bully by this psycopath collegue where the boss only believed this person and never spoke to me or my collegues abt anything.(It's a super long and complicated unfair story). That broke me. And I even tried to be vunreable to this psycopath collegue only to get laughed at by her.... yeah now I self Isolate and so badly want to get a life but I am too scared. Idk, felt like being open to you guys and I have nothig else to do rn.... but I have reflected, and are seeing a therapist, that helps a tiny bit, but I feel so fuckig broken and SCARED. Welp.
    Wow I am impressed you read that far ...

  • @melc2978
    @melc2978 7 місяців тому +1

    I can communicate with a bunch of people and still feel lonely if I'm not deeply connecting with them. It's the same thing with being in a room with a lot of people. If I'm just having small talk with those people I can feel lonely. Right now I'm feeling very lonely. Was laid off of work a few months ago, and that has led me to feel lonely and isolated. Wish I had more deeper connections on top of that. Sending lots of love to anyone who is feeling loney.

  • @lumity238
    @lumity238 7 місяців тому +6

    I was a shy girl,didn't have many friends in School. Then I met my husband when I was 18 ,just Graduated and married 3 months in our relationship. He was my first boyfriend and Husband, we did everything together and after 2 Children, My husband passed away 😢
    We were married 49 years .
    I'm so Scared to live alone , my Routine and Confidence is gone. I lost my identity and even though I have two grown children,they are too busy with their Family and Working.
    I'm so sad , I can't believe I'm a Widow . I'm trying so hard to be Social but I feel no one Cares . I'm 70 ,Who wants to meet an old Women like me. 😢💔

    • @Sadune85
      @Sadune85 4 місяці тому +1

      You were not alone for 49 years and you have two children. This is more than everything a lonely person can have. Sometimes people upset me so much. You were 18 and never alone.

    • @Professor.Joe1
      @Professor.Joe1 Місяць тому

      People care. I care. Your family cares. You have a lifetime of experience that others can benefit by learning from you. Sending healing thoughts.

  • @IbrahimaBarry-d5e
    @IbrahimaBarry-d5e 8 місяців тому +2

    Sometime better lonely and living toxic environmente to protect yourself and peace of mind one day you must the right person for you

  • @s0urp0wer5
    @s0urp0wer5 6 місяців тому +1

    You should never be vulnerable with others. Trust me.

  • @alekk4
    @alekk4 Рік тому +7

    This is really good! At least one person that isn’t telling me to be alone more and “take myself on a date” and all the other crap. Very nice, balanced and sober approach! Thank you 🙏

  • @jennasponsel3580
    @jennasponsel3580 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for posting!! I gained a lot of clarity and in sight. ❤ Take care.

  • @punpun666
    @punpun666 Рік тому +6

    Video starts at 1:21

  • @jshoover2199
    @jshoover2199 10 місяців тому

    Wow. This really struck me. Thank you for the definition. It shifted my paradigm and helped a lot!

  • @SarahHath
    @SarahHath 10 місяців тому +5

    I am a 30 years old lady
    And I think I have been feeling lonely since I was 7. And I have had enough of it!!!!

    • @atrueperson8529
      @atrueperson8529 7 місяців тому

      Hi... can we become friends? I'm looking for genuine friendship 😀

    • @SarahHath
      @SarahHath 7 місяців тому

      @@atrueperson8529
      We can give us a try!

  • @ania9130
    @ania9130 2 роки тому +5

    You are amazing. I feel that loneliness is probably worse than smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Great video!

  • @ViVivienna
    @ViVivienna 6 місяців тому +3

    "You are not alone,"
    Then why am I all alone when I eat lunch at school? Why is it that no one stays long as my friend? Why am I walking all by myself around the campus? Why do I have no one to talk about my problems with? Why is no one listening to me? Why is everyone ignoring me?
    Outside or inside the house. I have no one, no one beside me, no one who supports me. My parents could care less if my grades went down or if I got hit by a bus and died. Friends? Where are those friends? Where are the people that makes me "not alone" ???
    I hate it, how does people say those words as if they care. Then, after saying it, they will leave my life and forget about how I told them what I'm struggling with.
    I am always chosen last in p.e and the least child to be worried of because I'm the eldest and I'm automatically responsible and independent to take care of myself and my sibilings from a VERY young age. What's the point of living to be honest.

    • @RoseMarabe-gp6ge
      @RoseMarabe-gp6ge 4 місяці тому +2

      Yess! I feel the same. Saying “you are not alone” is so insensitive, and vile.

  • @theboss1220
    @theboss1220 Рік тому +8

    My issue is that I can not find any like minded person, trust me everyone around me are extremely superficial, and I can never relate to them, I feel more bored amoung this group of people.

  • @SilvioTheWolf
    @SilvioTheWolf 7 місяців тому +2

    Just once I would love to open a video about loneliness and not be bombarded by these people reminding me of how it’s killing me ffs I’m trying to cope I don’t need the incessant reminders of death

  • @nikitakain6217
    @nikitakain6217 7 місяців тому +1

    I recently joined an organisation. It has everything that I was looking for quite a long time. But I have been at home for 2 months while I was looking out for jobs. But here after joining the organisation, other than my teammates, I’m not able to communicate or build relations with anyone else. I felt so weird and lonely today. And how I’ve been trying to engage in some conversation at lunch table but couldn’t say that out loud. Just trying, smiling and eating but couldn’t pass my thoughts. I’m feeling so baadd

  • @jennifershort3104
    @jennifershort3104 7 місяців тому +1

    I have experienced loneliness frequently for the last couple of years, especially since my mom died of end-stage Alzheimer's in December 2022. I was her full-time caregiver and very few people understand the relationship we had. I often feel lonely in a crowded room. Solitude tends to be by choice more often than not.

  • @Icemanfreezer7
    @Icemanfreezer7 Рік тому +4

    this video is way to high energy for its topic

  • @bladerunner6
    @bladerunner6 10 місяців тому

    loneliness cannot be put into words, its al about feelings and what goes around in your head my dear doctor

  • @carolinasouza3984
    @carolinasouza3984 Рік тому

    I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's important to recognize that your worth is not determined by external circumstances, such as work or relationships. Everyone goes through challenging times, and it's okay to feel the way you do. Consider reaching out to friends, family, or a mental health professional who can offer support and guidance. They can provide a different perspective and help you navigate these feelings. Remember, it's okay not to be perfect, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

  • @Spiral.Dynamics
    @Spiral.Dynamics Рік тому +2

    I have been experiencing loneliness since I lost my best friend. I didn’t know how important it was until it was all over but the crying.

  • @MarkHeiskell
    @MarkHeiskell Рік тому +3

    I never want to experience life being single or alone forever; I also never want to feel purposely ignored or left out constantly; I also never want to go overboard with being socially active either. How do I make all of that happen for me in my life even though I really do hate the idea of making new friends that are near my age?

  • @SarahHath
    @SarahHath 10 місяців тому +1

    5:38 it says
    The best way to get a step forward is to practice being vulnerable with other people!!!!
    The issue doctor is: when you don't feel exists, where to find people who would listen to you?

  • @hazelbrownn
    @hazelbrownn 5 місяців тому +2

    The problem is I hate small talk.

  • @MarkHeiskell
    @MarkHeiskell Рік тому +1

    I did at some point volunteer in my community join a bowling league on the weekends participated in after school activities but all of that was during my childhood and throughout my teenage years as well as into my high school years. While I was in my college years I focused only on working so I can earn my own money from my job. Now that I only work so much just like everybody else in society; I still experience the feeling of loneliness. I feel like that my social life ended and no matter how many times I reach out since I try to make time whenever possible; I feel like I’m being purposely left out a lot since almost anybody that I grew up with are always constantly busy with their own things. I’m afraid that if I make any new friends in life they might do the same thing of ignoring me a lot by never trying to keep in contact with me and that really irritates me. Even when years go by of me being patient; it will still continue to happen no matter what.

  • @cheyturnervisuals
    @cheyturnervisuals 9 місяців тому

    This video was really succinct and felt like it helped to get to the core of loneliness feelings. Even just the definition she gave like cleared the clouds around my confusion with my own prolonged loneliness.

  • @akashnagaraj8274
    @akashnagaraj8274 7 місяців тому +1

    Thanks for this wonderful video

  • @abiowens4431
    @abiowens4431 2 роки тому +4

    So good. Really interesting about the knock on effects for your physical health! xx

  • @jamesbrean8004
    @jamesbrean8004 6 місяців тому +1

    Loneliness turns me into a monster

  • @jul382
    @jul382 8 місяців тому

    I learned 4 key points to engage with my adult son - so thank you for that. These 4 measures can be applied to many assessments with the different people in my life.

  • @sempakrangergg
    @sempakrangergg 7 місяців тому +2

    Almost every videos I saw talking about loneliness always referring to pandemic as an example. For someone who has been experiencing it since forever, they don't feel any difference pandemic or not for sure.

  • @vparakhin
    @vparakhin 7 місяців тому +2

    Isn't it wonderful how this therapist is happily grinning when she talks about loneliness and death and suicidal thoughts? How can anyone speak about loneliness if they haven't experienced it for years? Just reading from a dictionary a definition of the words "loneliness" and "solitude" doesn't help at all.

  • @ShadowNobody-y5l
    @ShadowNobody-y5l 2 місяці тому

    I love the look, the vibe. Ab-fab. A doctor AND a sense of style? I'm in. Sub'd.

  • @SarahHath
    @SarahHath 10 місяців тому +1

    6:10 part of being lonely is that mostly you feel like no one cares!!!
    So how would you find someone to do something with??
    I really hoped for a realistic, practical solutions

  • @benruffo1197
    @benruffo1197 9 місяців тому +1

    During periods of lonlyness, I need to be on guard against over drinking and getting involved with undesirables.

  • @alanosmarceballosfranco7205
    @alanosmarceballosfranco7205 8 місяців тому

    I was in a relationship where my partner was my best friend but they did something awful to me and I started to crave for what I believed was loneliness because I felt I was losing myself in that relationship, so I broke up with them. Now that I finally have what I wanted it feels not so good because I live in a city away from my family and friends and this person was my only company. I understand now that solitude is amazing but comes with the price of feeling lonely from time to time. Thanks for this video, it really helped me clear my mind.

  • @lightlenslocation
    @lightlenslocation 6 місяців тому +2

    Everyone feels lonely from time to time but what about people who feel lonely all the time for as long as they can remember?

    • @J35u5Ch4i5t
      @J35u5Ch4i5t 6 місяців тому

      Let me guess: you're referring to yourself?

    • @lightlenslocation
      @lightlenslocation 6 місяців тому

      @@J35u5Ch4i5t that doesn't matter

    • @lightlenslocation
      @lightlenslocation 6 місяців тому

      @@J35u5Ch4i5t that doesn't matter

  • @vincentmwangi1053
    @vincentmwangi1053 Рік тому +20

    Come on, how do u cope? U never answered 😭😭

    • @Ashley-hp2vn
      @Ashley-hp2vn 9 місяців тому +3

      I have not watch the video yet, because many self help videos- they actually never give solutions, and we spend lots of time for them, at the end we feel more miserable, we know ourselves that loneliness is not good😢

    • @user-bw2fp1cp9w
      @user-bw2fp1cp9w 7 місяців тому

      she said what is maning it worse. For example being on social media

  • @Sasha-ws6gv
    @Sasha-ws6gv 7 місяців тому

    I'm dealing with not wanting to engage because I'm not feeling the best mentally but I do things to make me feel better for i.e walking outside, window shopping or joining different groups for engagement

  • @ajvitha2546
    @ajvitha2546 2 місяці тому

    Tips:
    1) Practice being vulnerable to other ppl
    Hangouts,
    2) to be of service to others.
    3)Support groups.
    Efoorts and remainders,
    Important ❤️

  • @makotonarukami7468
    @makotonarukami7468 7 місяців тому +1

    I experience it most of the time when i go to a restaurant because there is no one else.

  • @erinlee7670
    @erinlee7670 Рік тому +1

    So hurdle #1 is having the time/energy for socializing. Pretty much just working/recharging and caring for my home so not a lot of time and energy to set aside for connecting with others

  • @PeachPlastic
    @PeachPlastic 6 місяців тому

    I feel great in my solitude. At times, I even go into a nocturnal phase in order to get a sufficient amount of quality alone time. I feel lonely amongst most people. When I moved away from the city to a suburb/town environment with my partner, my first impulse was to sign up for some classes in order to make sure I would have some regular social exposure. Because, if I didn't commit to it, I wouldn't. I "accidentally " self-isolate a lot, because I don't notice that I haven't met up with anyone until I suddenly realize that months have gone by. And the people there aren't bad; they're pretty nice. But I feel so alien during those days, and even worse when I finally get to go home. I don't understand why this is such a problem for me when everyone else seems satisfied with the exchange. I do have some friends I feel a better connection to, but no one lives close, so there's no opportunity to build more consistent relationships outside of scarce opportunities like annual events or a rare visit. Sometimes I wonder if I'm so unsatisfied with my attempts at connection because I'm too much of an idealist and care too much, or if I'm somehow hard to relate to, or something.

  • @ayushiydvKG
    @ayushiydvKG 5 місяців тому

    10:52 Thank you so much, ma'am! Much love!

  • @Rince93
    @Rince93 6 місяців тому

    what you have said makes sense oish. loneliness has been kicking hard and yhoo i felt sorry for myself when you said it is as bad as smoking 15 cigars. it sucks

  • @nathananderson8720
    @nathananderson8720 Рік тому +3

    This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my UA-cam channel 8 months ago about self development. Now I have 942 subs and > 800 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.

    • @clonecommander8
      @clonecommander8 2 місяці тому

      That’s awesome man, how’s your channel been growing so far?

  • @Alexvinterbarn
    @Alexvinterbarn 5 місяців тому

    Thank you, i found this very helpful 🙂

  • @BedsideTable69
    @BedsideTable69 4 місяці тому

    I'm feel lonely but I'm distancing myself from my friends. In the last three months I went thru a lot of shit and I don't feel like myself anymore. I hate the person I was but he follows me everywhere I go. I'm still him to everyone, I don't know what to do. I just wanted someone to love me and I ended up with shitty mental and physical health because of my unhealthy coping mechanisms. I really hope it will get better even tho for now it isn't

  • @ayushiydvKG
    @ayushiydvKG 5 місяців тому

    5:23 yes happened yesterday and that was an incredibly draining situation.

  • @ethanotene2993
    @ethanotene2993 3 місяці тому

    "cope" is not a word I like to use. It implies there to be a problem. I'm looking to solve loneliness

  • @SarahHath
    @SarahHath 10 місяців тому +2

    6:27
    Does the doctor knows that most of our loneliness comes at 12.00am onwards!!

  • @MarkHeiskell
    @MarkHeiskell Рік тому +1

    I also have talked to a therapist before as well so that only has helped me a little bit, but has not helped me much. I’m still struggling with this.

  • @katemoffitt1641
    @katemoffitt1641 Рік тому

    On going battle. Will continue 2b that loving peep I wish others could be. ❤

  • @HomeCarryAHandgun45GAP
    @HomeCarryAHandgun45GAP 11 місяців тому +1

    Hi there, study, work, & pray.
    & will lead you to a good
    life.
    Ecclesiasticus 30(DRB)
    30:24. Have pity on thy own soul, pleasing God, and contain thyself: gather up thy heart in his holiness: and drive away sadness far from thee.