Mass Effect 3 Citadel DLC: Distracting Casino guards (all 45 variations, all companions)

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,2 тис.

  • @Bubbabob145
    @Bubbabob145 8 років тому +1773

    Urdnot Wrex. Warlord, Hero, Food inspector.

    • @elisabethhawke2040
      @elisabethhawke2040 7 років тому +56

      I'M CRYING XD

    • @MrPsych77
      @MrPsych77 7 років тому +44

      Bubbubob145 he is the ruler of all krogan he can give himself any position he wants

    • @gyorkedani5531
      @gyorkedani5531 6 років тому +8

      Bubbubob145 and father of all Krogan

    • @Whoami691
      @Whoami691 5 років тому +15

      Nobody knew he'd be his OWN food taster! 😂

    • @titanjakob1056
      @titanjakob1056 5 років тому +12

      He saved more lives eating food then shooting lead

  • @lafken2
    @lafken2 9 років тому +2372

    "Sir, please don't cry."

    • @hushthebow9472
      @hushthebow9472 8 років тому +206

      that was the best fuckin part

    • @Damocles16
      @Damocles16 4 роки тому +70

      Stop crying, or we're gonna call the "food inspector" over there .

  • @ZenaidaZeal
    @ZenaidaZeal 9 років тому +2946

    This guy better be Employee of the Month.

  • @Rangernewb5550
    @Rangernewb5550 7 років тому +1672

    Hazer the lazer? Heh, I almost didn't recognize you.
    *YOU OWE ME MONEY*

    • @54lolman
      @54lolman 6 років тому +74

      "I'm sorry.You have me mistaken. Please step back."

    • @crazedauthor98
      @crazedauthor98 6 років тому +44

      I choked on my pasta at that part. XD

    • @IncredibleFulk1
      @IncredibleFulk1 6 років тому +123

      I love the quickly added "You owe me money."

    • @jellyfish1213
      @jellyfish1213 6 років тому +75

      I love Kaidan xD I was laughing so hard about that

    • @mackblack4843
      @mackblack4843 6 років тому +36

      PLEASE DON'T CRY

  • @KennyG881
    @KennyG881 8 років тому +2888

    Mordin would've been ideal for this mission. He never shuts up, so he would've been a perfect distraction for the guard.

    • @connorcaldwell588
      @connorcaldwell588 8 років тому +727

      Mordin: Guard, would like to report missing person. A salarian, red complexion, wears white uniform.
      Guard: Sir, have you been taking red sand?
      Mordin: Did you know Turian horosk mixed with ryncol explosive if consumed by varren when...
      Guard: I'm sorry, but you're talking way too fast, sir.
      Mordin: [Singing Mozart]
      Guard: Sir! Please, settle down. You're a fine singer, but this isn't the time or the place.

    • @fluffychan6000
      @fluffychan6000 8 років тому +52

      +Connor Caldwell perfect!

    • @josesuarez7484
      @josesuarez7484 7 років тому +60

      This reply is gold.

    • @philipped.r.6385
      @philipped.r.6385 7 років тому +25

      +Connor Caldwell Best reply I've seen in months!

    • @Manoto17
      @Manoto17 6 років тому +57

      Oh god, MORDIN, why did you have to die on me buddy!

  • @jackharper1655
    @jackharper1655 10 років тому +1657

    "No, no... please, sir. Please don't cry." Kaidan owns.

    • @foiltarmogoyf6203
      @foiltarmogoyf6203 2 роки тому +44

      Lol I've never heard that before. Liara talking like a southern bell was pretty funny too

    • @YoungMrBlue
      @YoungMrBlue 9 місяців тому +7

      *”you owe me money”*

  • @happylittletree1727
    @happylittletree1727 10 років тому +3258

    Married man turns down hot spectre. Respect.

    • @Spider-Man2094
      @Spider-Man2094 8 років тому +298

      The guy then returned home to his boring sexless marriage and bitch wife wondering what could have been.

    • @ordersmilitant5998
      @ordersmilitant5998 7 років тому +41

      Happy Little Tree
      Respect indeed

    • @Verdugo_Arulaq
      @Verdugo_Arulaq 6 років тому +198

      He’s a faithful loyal man who ain’t got time for these thots or Williams.

    • @MultiTwentyseven
      @MultiTwentyseven 4 роки тому +18

      @@Verdugo_Arulaq who IS a thot, i like her though

    • @codyblea3638
      @codyblea3638 4 роки тому +65

      Little do we know, his wife is an Asari diplomatic envoy and he keeps working security because he doesn't want to feel useless.

  • @raptorjesus3894
    @raptorjesus3894 9 років тому +1153

    Garrus, always looking to calibrate something

  • @CrescentGuard
    @CrescentGuard 7 років тому +2243

    Ashley: I'm gonna act like a drunk diva partygirl (and probably actually get drunk while I'm at it).
    Tali: Just play cute, maybe occasionally use my race to play with it, that should do the trick.
    Vega: Okay... okay... I've seen spy vids. I can do this.
    Garrus: Ah, this can't be too hard, just ask for advice periodically and play like another one of the guys. Done it plenty of times before.
    Wrex: You want me to act subtle? You're serious? -Sigh- If you say so, Shepard.
    Javik: I will make the ultimate distraction by educating these people on how pathetic their cycle is.
    Liara: Move over you amateurs, let the professional handle this.
    Kaidan: I have no idea what I'm doing.

    • @patrickhallett6220
      @patrickhallett6220 5 років тому +146

      Yep, that’s pretty much the personas they’re going for. And they all do pretty well at it XD

    • @simple-commentator-not-rea7345
      @simple-commentator-not-rea7345 5 років тому +210

      For Kaidan, I was imagining something more like "Well, I AM a Spectre now. And Spectre's are universall; Infiltration is worth practicing."

    • @scribejay
      @scribejay 4 роки тому +105

      @@patrickhallett6220 That they all go in with 100% confidence is so much of the humor.

    • @johnmayernick9561
      @johnmayernick9561 4 роки тому +26

      Absolutely spot on, mate.

    • @jakeadnams
      @jakeadnams 4 роки тому +41

      This....
      This......
      This is........
      AMAZING

  • @Colbio
    @Colbio 2 роки тому +310

    I kind of love how supportive the guy is to Quarians.
    Seriously, it's kind of a background thing, so it's not really at the front of your mind the whole time, but alot of people just hate them. Basically think they're all thieves. Seeing this guy more or less drop what he's doing to help Tali is actually pretty heartwarming.

    • @GenericUsername-qp1ww
      @GenericUsername-qp1ww Рік тому

      Considering how the idiotic quarians were responsible for how the geth turned out I have no sympathy 4 them

    • @been_rly_n2_paragliding_lately
      @been_rly_n2_paragliding_lately Рік тому +28

      Eh idk, seems more like good customer service at a high-end establishment. It's a nice thought though.

    • @YoungMrBlue
      @YoungMrBlue 9 місяців тому +10

      It’s physically impossible for anyone to hate Tali
      Except for that one Turian clerk but he probably got killed by the reapers when the citadel was captured anyway

    • @TheMeta141
      @TheMeta141 9 місяців тому +3

      might have something to do with unleashing a hostile synthetic race on the galaxy

    • @lewismartin3430
      @lewismartin3430 6 місяців тому +5

      ​@TheMeta141 and yet no one gives the salarians flak for unleashing the rachni AND the krogan.

  • @1stcaptainraldoron538
    @1stcaptainraldoron538 9 років тому +1408

    I love how Javik just fails at trying to impress.

    • @stan_the_man618
      @stan_the_man618 8 років тому +85

      +Carter Gates I like how he still has his guns equipped hahaha.

    • @Arthus850
      @Arthus850 8 років тому +49

      +Stan_The_Man And I love how he didn't pull them out after the guard called him fake.

    • @EvilPaladin11
      @EvilPaladin11 8 років тому +22

      Javik is awful at being subtle

    • @rosygarrido
      @rosygarrido 7 років тому +31

      He gives no fucks

    • @Torthrodhel
      @Torthrodhel 3 роки тому +58

      In my cycle, we had no fucks to give.

  • @AlexandrZaytsevet
    @AlexandrZaytsevet 10 років тому +1375

    Imagine if you were an oblivious guard and had to deal with them all in one night. It's almost as bad as working in retail.

    • @glittergrasshopper1144
      @glittergrasshopper1144 10 років тому +267

      OMG, imagine it as a movie scene, where the instant he gets rid of Garrus e.g., Tali comes up to him, and then Ashley right after Tali, and they keep reappearing wearing wigs/sunglassed with the tab still on... That'd be hilarious xD

    • @PsyrenXY
      @PsyrenXY 10 років тому +6

      little pyromaniac LMAO

    • @DaireBulson
      @DaireBulson 9 років тому +44

      "That's it! I quit! Either that or we never have a party here again. I'm tired to dealing with weirdo guests..."
      -Guard

    • @NickCorvello
      @NickCorvello 8 років тому +12

      just a regular saturday for me. #retail

    • @glittergrasshopper1144
      @glittergrasshopper1144 8 років тому +1

      Nick Corvello you win

  • @nukesova7150
    @nukesova7150 10 років тому +746

    "no sir please don't cry..."
    XD

  • @NefariousEvildoer
    @NefariousEvildoer 10 років тому +989

    "I need to look at your basement."
    "Uh... is that code for something?"
    XDDD

    • @PsyrenXY
      @PsyrenXY 3 роки тому +45

      Between that and the "private bathroom" comment, I think they did intend James to be bi

    • @AndrewFullerton
      @AndrewFullerton 3 роки тому +18

      @@PsyrenXY for some reason I used to think he was a male-only romance option, maybe just because of how much he overcompensates with FemShep.

    • @Kobolds_in_a_trenchcoat
      @Kobolds_in_a_trenchcoat 24 дні тому +1

      ​​@@AndrewFullertonhe absolutely reads like an overcompensating gay man.
      Meant entirely respectfully.

  • @stevie_ily
    @stevie_ily 8 років тому +740

    "No, no... please sir. Please don't cry."
    Jesus that one knocked me out of my chair.

  • @themedia1271
    @themedia1271 9 років тому +907

    Tali's distractions are the only reasonable ones. But the rest are just damn hilarious. That security guard deserves employee of the month.

    • @klillym1461
      @klillym1461 3 роки тому +70

      He really does 😂 although Garrus had a couple good ones

    • @s.m.2523
      @s.m.2523 3 роки тому +59

      I'd say Liara is pretty decent at it too.

    • @moviemaker199
      @moviemaker199 2 роки тому +35

      @@s.m.2523 Liara is a _freaking_ professional at distracting! As the Shadow Broker she is, I wouldn’t be surprised.

  • @CitizenKahne1992
    @CitizenKahne1992 9 років тому +676

    Tali: "I was told there was varren racing here, but I'm having trouble finding it."
    Tali, it's literally 2 feet in front of you. There's even a big glowing sign hanging above the table.

    • @kuramakyuubi8483
      @kuramakyuubi8483 9 років тому +40

      +CitizenKahne1992 trust me that prob happens alot.. lol

    • @raptorjesus3894
      @raptorjesus3894 9 років тому +14

      +CitizenKahne1992 You know how people say about missing things with neon signs? If the Varren Racing had a neon sign, it would actually be harder to find.

    • @KahavaveCAPIPI
      @KahavaveCAPIPI 9 років тому +48

      +CitizenKahne1992 I take it you've never worked retail? If you had, such a situation shouldn't have surprised you.

    • @CitizenKahne1992
      @CitizenKahne1992 9 років тому +9

      +Unus Domus No, but I do work as an airport greeter. And everyday people ask me "where's this door?" and "how do I get to this terminal?" even though there are signs clearly posted around the airport.

    • @DorianMichaelsIII
      @DorianMichaelsIII 9 років тому +17

      +CitizenKahne1992 I took it from her tone of voice that Tali was trying to fake being drunk.

  • @Luxai
    @Luxai 9 років тому +556

    That guard
    has fucking seen it all.

  • @jeramahia123
    @jeramahia123 9 років тому +995

    Wow. A guard who doesn't suck at his job.

    • @PsyrenXY
      @PsyrenXY 3 роки тому +29

      Except he kinda does. You have to be professional AND not easily distracted!

    • @DanQZ
      @DanQZ 2 роки тому +10

      It’s a high end place so they probably have higher standards

    • @ede9177
      @ede9177 2 роки тому +10

      I've been a guard for three years and it only just occurred to me how often my profession gets made fun of.
      Even by myself for that matter.

    • @KopperNeoman
      @KopperNeoman 11 місяців тому

      ​@@ede9177Remember to check UNDER suspicious cardboard boxes.

  • @KurtTijamoMusic
    @KurtTijamoMusic 10 років тому +886

    Good guy security guard turns down Ashley Williams to maintain his marriage.

    • @mrcodypettit
      @mrcodypettit 9 років тому +8

      +kurtwinterhalter If you read the tittle carefully it says "distraction "

    • @40kanon
      @40kanon 6 років тому +73

      mrcodypettit Yes but he didn't know. The guard is a faithful man.

    • @scribejay
      @scribejay 4 роки тому +23

      I mean, if you, security guard voiced by Travis Willingham, were married to Mass Effect character voiced by Laura Bailey?

    • @jakeadnams
      @jakeadnams 4 роки тому +7

      He obviously saved Kaiden

  • @JessieJay7
    @JessieJay7 10 років тому +1051

    And suddenly, Liara is southern XD

    • @Agent_1701-D
      @Agent_1701-D 10 років тому +101

      Lots of planets have a south. (lol)

    • @JessieJay7
      @JessieJay7 10 років тому +15

      Unfortunately I don't watch dr who....

    • @Agent_1701-D
      @Agent_1701-D 10 років тому +35

      Kevin McGechie Yeah, I kind of borrowed and altered it.
      Jessie Jay In the very first episode of the modern series of Doctor Who, the Doctor's companion asks that if the Doctor (portrayed at the time by Christopher Eccleston) is an alien, then why does he sound like he's from the North (Northern English accent). The Doctor's response was "Lots of planets have a North!" Just apply that stretch of logic to other species, and it's not so far fetched.

    • @JessieJay7
      @JessieJay7 10 років тому +5

      Ohhh okay I get it now x3
      thank you for explaining lol

    • @Mister_Kourkoutas
      @Mister_Kourkoutas 10 років тому +5

      CBunye Which then makes you think "there are some planets which *don't* have a North?!"

  • @xanderfulton3186
    @xanderfulton3186 3 роки тому +198

    I like that everyone’s first dialogue to distract the guard is some kind of clever small talk or Ashley showing off or pretending to be drunk. But then Kaidan is like:
    “Do you wanna be a Spectre?”

    • @sergiosalcedo5111
      @sergiosalcedo5111 Рік тому +13

      And yet he probably was the most effective one. He got the guard's full attention and interest. People like to sleep on Kaidan but we can see how profesional he is and that he also knows how to play the game, when to act cool and when to act the fool.

    • @Kobolds_in_a_trenchcoat
      @Kobolds_in_a_trenchcoat 24 дні тому

      ​@@sergiosalcedo5111I doubt many people like to sleep on Kaiden... but given how nice and considerate he comes offm..

  • @psychronia
    @psychronia 9 років тому +872

    Since Wrex is basically the king of Tuchanka, could he scribble up some credentials for himself on the spot and make himself an official food inspector?

    • @MillyDel
      @MillyDel 8 років тому +578

      "I'm going to have to see some credentials"
      "Here"
      "Sir, this is just a piece of paper with 'I am a food inspector' written on it"

    • @littleregg3164
      @littleregg3164 8 років тому +58

      +Mara Dulog that would be perfect

    • @masterkillerfluffy
      @masterkillerfluffy 7 років тому +6

      Psychronia probably.

    • @tacticianM
      @tacticianM 6 років тому +28

      I bet he would eat the food when he got in

    • @5223142
      @5223142 6 років тому +89

      Shepard: Wrex, this isn’t part of the mission
      Wrex: What mission?

  • @truesoprano2152
    @truesoprano2152 9 років тому +576

    i think i have a new favorite mass effect character

    • @FluffyNinjaLlama
      @FluffyNinjaLlama  9 років тому +323

      +TrueSoprano Employee of the year that's for sure

    • @fluffychan6000
      @fluffychan6000 8 років тому +25

      +FluffyNinjaLlama so professional!

  • @kevinbernardini9176
    @kevinbernardini9176 7 років тому +362

    Imagine this guard when he returned home
    Wife: Hey honey, how was your day?
    Guard: I've met the funniest people in the galaxy

    • @masterblaster3508
      @masterblaster3508 Рік тому +19

      Watch it be a quarian lmao that is why he is so nice.

    • @finvaly
      @finvaly 11 місяців тому +5

      And then his boss died, oops

  • @EmilyHillgoddessofthunder64
    @EmilyHillgoddessofthunder64 8 років тому +911

    Javik: Human, I met your ancestors long ago. They were living in caves throwing rocks at wildlife.
    Guard: We remind guests that some of our drinks contain hallucinogens. Please drink responsibly.
    I died XD

    • @fightwarrior9932
      @fightwarrior9932 3 роки тому +40

      He trolled the troll.

    • @aw2584
      @aw2584 3 роки тому +36

      I require your attention! IM A PROTHEAN! What do you think of that!?
      It cracks me up idk why, everyone else is making some shit up to gain the guard's attention and his dumbass is just like HEY LOOK AT ME

    • @moviemaker199
      @moviemaker199 2 роки тому +11

      @@aw2584 Uh-huh. You’re the fourth one I met this week.
      Though your costume is better than the rest.🤨

    • @bluesrike
      @bluesrike Рік тому +6

      Guard pulled a "Go home, Prothean. You're drunk!"

  • @lostjedi3380
    @lostjedi3380 3 роки тому +299

    You know, this place is surprisingly progressive if they treat Quarians nicely.

    • @deltaomega2136
      @deltaomega2136 2 роки тому +37

      I was going to make a comment on this. The remark at the 4:00 mark seems to imply it's not just cause she's with Shepard, apparently they've had them in before.

    • @thatlonelygiraffeinc.6989
      @thatlonelygiraffeinc.6989 2 роки тому +9

      @@deltaomega2136 I mean. There are rich quarians, why wouldn't a casino let them in?

    • @maxpotapenko4632
      @maxpotapenko4632 2 роки тому +30

      @@thatlonelygiraffeinc.6989 Quarians are like khajiits, no matter how wealthy they are, most often they are treated like no good beggars. Well and I don't think there are a lot of wealthy quarians, since most of them are on the Migrant Fleet, some are on the Pilgrimage and only so little don't come back home

    • @thatlonelygiraffeinc.6989
      @thatlonelygiraffeinc.6989 2 роки тому +10

      @@maxpotapenko4632 yeah but like, a casino wouldn't really care about that, because they're trying to swindle you out of your money anyway

    • @BarelloSmith
      @BarelloSmith 2 роки тому

      Or surprisingly regressive, considering that the Quarians are basically the space Nazis of the Mass Effect universe.

  • @JAYDOG1337A
    @JAYDOG1337A 10 років тому +577

    0:20 HA, that bit with garrus, "sir I am definitely not an expert

    • @TMNTno1fan
      @TMNTno1fan 10 років тому +92

      Garrus had me giggling, but that response had me ROLLING

    • @Eszti1218
      @Eszti1218 9 років тому +53

      BTW, does anyone know if he uses this distraction even if you're not romancing him? Because if you are, you're like "Um, I can hear you. I like flowers, by the way."

    • @FluffyNinjaLlama
      @FluffyNinjaLlama  9 років тому +72

      Eszti1218 He uses this distraction even with male Shep so definitely doesn't need to be romanced :D

    • @JAYDOG1337A
      @JAYDOG1337A 9 років тому +30

      FluffyNinjaLlama huh... what if... maybe... DR CHLOE MICHELLE ?!?

    • @quarkyquasar893
      @quarkyquasar893 8 років тому +1

      +JAYDOG1337A No, its Tali.

  • @LiquidIronTV
    @LiquidIronTV 10 років тому +371

    Mike Hazer?! Hazer the Lazer?! Hah! I almost didn't reconize you! You owe me money... (Best Line Ever)

  • @OhDatFilipinoKid
    @OhDatFilipinoKid 11 років тому +196

    The Liara country accent...I CAN'T LOL

    • @Bowiiihowdy
      @Bowiiihowdy 3 роки тому +1

      Almost doesn't even sound like her

  • @mioangst
    @mioangst 10 років тому +326

    There goes Garrus with calibrating again. 5:01

    • @Blazieth
      @Blazieth 10 років тому +22

      Damn it, Garrus...

    • @phantommangagirl
      @phantommangagirl 9 років тому +4

      I couldn't stop laughing at that.

    • @ENCHANTMEN_
      @ENCHANTMEN_ 7 років тому +11

      oh boy, here I go calibrating again

    • @IllusivePrime
      @IllusivePrime 6 років тому +7

      It's Garrus' version of Shepard's "I should go."

  • @ArdanTheHalfDragon
    @ArdanTheHalfDragon 10 років тому +202

    "I am I Prothean! What do you think of that?"
    Javik seems to be adjusting to this cycle rather well.

    • @themadhammer3305
      @themadhammer3305 9 років тому +8

      Ah Javik the trollthean at it again, he also seemed amused that salarians evolved away from eating flies, that the asari learnt to read and that humans stopped throwing rocks at wildlife

    • @ghekor
      @ghekor 9 років тому +14

      John Box I still think humans throw rocks at wildlife..well the wildlife is bigger and the rocks are frags but same thing :D

    • @austinbutcher8106
      @austinbutcher8106 8 місяців тому

      Honestly I'd get fed up by everyone saying I'm fake, I'd be doin the prothen experience sharing thing. AlOT

  • @rotoseraph3727
    @rotoseraph3727 8 років тому +1034

    This guard knows how to react to anything.
    Shepard: Harbinger, go distract that guard.
    Harbinger: I will direct this personally.
    ...
    Harbinger: I am the harbinger of your perfection. We are your genetic destiny.
    Guard: I'm sorry sir, you are not allowed to preach any religion within the premises even if you have a valid evangelical permit.
    Harbinger: I am Harbinger.
    Guard: That imitation is not funny sir, I would kindly request that you refrain from those kinds of jokes here. There are guests who have friends on Earth or Palaven.
    Harbinger: Assuming control of this form. You will not stop me.
    Guard: This isn't that kind of place sir. I think you will find that the lower levels of the wards will be better able to meet your needs.
    Harbinger: Human; viable possibility, impressive genetic malleability.
    Guard: Uh... Thank you for the compliment?...

    • @orionrolater2812
      @orionrolater2812 8 років тому +83

      Made my day. Where can I get THAT mod though?

    • @willl676
      @willl676 7 років тому +23

      Damn this comment is gold! What are you doing down here?

    • @voidimperial1179
      @voidimperial1179 7 років тому +23

      I want this as a mod

    • @IllusivePrime
      @IllusivePrime 6 років тому +24

      How about the Illusive Man doing it?

    • @florianechesnais
      @florianechesnais 6 років тому +17

      I. Fucking. Love. That. Guard.

  • @destinedtwo8295
    @destinedtwo8295 9 років тому +314

    liaras vioice on that "is there somewhere I can make a private call. it's very important." sounded so country

  • @Cassandra_Solidor
    @Cassandra_Solidor 11 років тому +395

    Ashley pretending to cry over a break up is pure comedy gold.

    • @blackheartthedarklord6428
      @blackheartthedarklord6428 3 роки тому +43

      The fact that I accidently romanced her in the first game and then romancing Tali in the other 2 games, this is too accurate.

    • @felipedamiani8845
      @felipedamiani8845 2 роки тому +8

      @@blackheartthedarklord6428 I romanced her and then miranda in The next 2 so she might cry for real too 😂😂

    • @Nomad958
      @Nomad958 Рік тому

      uhh she not

  • @TheSpartan451
    @TheSpartan451 10 років тому +825

    Ashley is a fucking master at this.

    • @_tyrannus
      @_tyrannus 6 років тому +90

      TheSpartan451 If only she could be a master at escaping nukes.

    • @commando6261
      @commando6261 6 років тому +15

      turarwanaa Savage

    • @floricel_112
      @floricel_112 3 роки тому +18

      You just know in high school/college she was the popular girl

    • @starshipshari
      @starshipshari 3 роки тому +27

      @@floricel_112 apparently not, she'd stay home watching over her sisters

    • @DaLucster72
      @DaLucster72 3 роки тому +65

      @@_tyrannus can’t have a post complimenting Ashley without an mood killer reply explaining they killed her in their play through.

  • @zaphodlucs
    @zaphodlucs 3 роки тому +154

    "you owe me money" that delivery is fucking perfect. I wanna hug the writers for this DLC

    • @Kobolds_in_a_trenchcoat
      @Kobolds_in_a_trenchcoat 24 дні тому

      That part feels like the voice actor just tacked it on at the end and they kept it because it was too funny.

  • @cyrussmith_1656
    @cyrussmith_1656 4 роки тому +130

    Kaidan: I've lost all my money, how do I get it back?
    Security: That's not how it wor... oh no, please sir, don't cry.

  • @lafken2
    @lafken2 9 років тому +156

    James: "I need to take a look at your basement."
    Guard "... Is that code for something?"

  • @TheBeastlygrrl
    @TheBeastlygrrl 10 років тому +191

    The guard is so adorable. He puts up with so much.

  • @krushhhh
    @krushhhh 9 років тому +314

    Wrex: I need to look at your kitchen. I'm a food inspector.
    Guard: Uh... I'm going to have to see some credentials.
    *brings out his shotgun*
    Wrex: How is this for credentials?

    • @PaiSAMSEN
      @PaiSAMSEN 5 років тому +25

      Guard : "We remind all of our guess that weapons are prohibited in this place. You must put it away or I will have to call for security."

    • @rae6075
      @rae6075 4 роки тому +2

      Yes that is very “subtle”

  • @xsz03
    @xsz03 10 років тому +184

    "I could have sworn there was a volus brothel upstairs" LOL
    Tali and Liara are doing a good job. That's why they're boring. Kaidan and Ashley and Garrus tho? Brilliant

    • @mattj2081
      @mattj2081 3 роки тому +10

      Liara has a couple entertaining ones.

    • @aguspuig6615
      @aguspuig6615 2 роки тому +12

      i think Tali gets a pass because shes speaking like a watchmojo top 10, like ''did you knoww i saw someonee i think they miiight be cheatting''

  • @karlyr259
    @karlyr259 10 років тому +181

    These were all pretty funny but damn, Wrex's "food inspector" and Kaidan's "you owe me money" made me laugh pretty hard.

  • @Spider-Man2094
    @Spider-Man2094 8 років тому +89

    2:48 Ashley's melt down, best one.

    • @firestorm165
      @firestorm165 4 роки тому +13

      That was just plain evil. And absolutely hilarious

    • @theactionman007
      @theactionman007 3 роки тому +7

      I lost it too. Especially since Shepard is right there.

  • @erbgorre
    @erbgorre 11 років тому +79

    you gotta picture the team meeting at bioware where everyone presents their ideas for these lines. i cant imagine anyone not dropping to the floor at "hazer the laser", or the guards "is that code for something?" line -.-

  • @erettew
    @erettew 11 років тому +52

    Tali instantly won over the guy heart with that cute performance; Javik is hilarious to the point of tears as is Kaidan:" Please sir don't cry." lol

  • @ravenblood1954
    @ravenblood1954 8 років тому +259

    That guard's voice acting's incredible xD

    • @bell6437
      @bell6437 7 років тому +31

      Raven Blood That's Travis Willingham for you.
      I didn't see the date of your comment until after I wrote that.

    • @ZeroResurrected
      @ZeroResurrected 7 років тому +7

      I like to imagine that this is the job Mustang had before being promoted to Colonel. Then again, Mustang would never turn Ashley down.

    • @EvilPaladin11
      @EvilPaladin11 4 роки тому +2

      He also loves dogs.

    • @Bowiiihowdy
      @Bowiiihowdy 3 роки тому +2

      @@ZeroResurrected thats where I've heard him before

  • @anyanka1059
    @anyanka1059 9 років тому +87

    "I'm with the varren anti-cruelty association" lmao

  • @geoffrey111995
    @geoffrey111995 9 років тому +343

    Javik the Trollthean wins again.

  • @hatsuharu333
    @hatsuharu333 11 років тому +182

    I laughed so hard when I played this DLC - totally worth it
    HAZER the LAZER? I almost didn't recognize you! ... You owe me money. LOL oh kaidan. 4:39

  • @SCI-FIWIZARDMAN
    @SCI-FIWIZARDMAN 10 років тому +231

    Aaaahhhh, Ashley has the best distraction lines. I bring Tali anyway, because I'm sleeping with her and we almost never get to go anywhere nice what with the race of giant genocidal sentient calamari-shaped starships invading the galaxy and the seemingly-never-ending stream of people lining up to shoot us, but Ashley's distraction lines are just hilarious.

    • @cobaltcrysis2085
      @cobaltcrysis2085 9 років тому +45

      Yeah. Giant sentient genocidal squid robots harvesting the galaxy might get in the way of a relationship.

    • @1stcaptainraldoron538
      @1stcaptainraldoron538 9 років тому +35

      +Cobalt Crysis I am suddenly unable to take reapers seriously anymore.

    • @lostfan10000
      @lostfan10000 8 років тому +10

      +Carter Gates The Catalyst ruined that for me.

    • @zerogbot23
      @zerogbot23 7 років тому +2

      I never could, i've always seen them as giant evil squids.

    • @KopperNeoman
      @KopperNeoman 11 місяців тому

      ​@@lostfan10000Knowing anything's motivation makes it less scary automatically.

  • @TTTLLover18
    @TTTLLover18 8 років тому +135

    I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THAT WAS TRAVIS WILLINGHAM UNTIL HALFWAY THROUGH. holy crap now we know where Roy Mustang ended up.

    • @NeutralObjections
      @NeutralObjections 8 років тому +2

      +Isabella Gandy I knew I recognized it somewhere. Good ear!

    • @EvilPaladin11
      @EvilPaladin11 4 роки тому +2

      But does the guard love dogs?

    • @kreigguardsman3355
      @kreigguardsman3355 3 роки тому +2

      I cannot unsee this. I guess his rise to Furher was rough

    • @MsYunaFires
      @MsYunaFires 3 роки тому +1

      I have watched HOURS of Critical Role, like 85% of C1 and all of C2. And I had some 'this sounds familiar' vibes but he absolutely slipped by. Good ear!

    • @aleksandarvil5718
      @aleksandarvil5718 3 роки тому

      No *Tiny Miniskirts* reference???

  • @luckyj.7951
    @luckyj.7951 10 років тому +84

    'They don't pay me enough for this...'
    Favorite line ever :D

  • @Luke_Danger
    @Luke_Danger 11 років тому +167

    You know, for a "simple soldier", Ashley is fucking awesome at acting on the spot as a distraction. Should of had her for leading the distraction team in the Suicide Mission :P
    They were all insane, though. Especially 7:20 ; did Liara just take advantage of the stereotype of asari promiscuity as a DISTRACTION? O.O

    • @hansolo235
      @hansolo235 3 роки тому +4

      Yep.

    • @KopperNeoman
      @KopperNeoman 11 місяців тому

      The stereotype is well-founded. Most asari maidens ARE at least somewhat promiscuous. All the more reason to pretend you're not different for a moment.

  • @Alex-vu3dm
    @Alex-vu3dm 9 років тому +134

    Liara's fake accent. OH MY GOD.

  • @swolbrohamlincoln9659
    @swolbrohamlincoln9659 10 років тому +212

    Volus brothel lmfao!

  • @GamerX13X
    @GamerX13X 9 років тому +33

    So many highlights, but Garrus 1, Southern-Bell Liara, and Ash/Kaiden getting the guard's hopes up are some of the best.

  • @nicholasemjohnson47
    @nicholasemjohnson47 8 років тому +72

    Samara: Guard, you should know that I'm a Justicar, and my Code compels me to kill anyone who commits the smallest injustice.
    Guard: Oh, no. Um, listen... this place is perfectly legal, Ma'am. And we make sure there is no violence here. Okay?

  • @mistersmiley9425
    @mistersmiley9425 8 років тому +49

    "I"m a food inspector!"
    Fucking lost it.

  • @simranwhitham3075
    @simranwhitham3075 10 років тому +32

    Thank you so much for taking the time to record and upload all of your Mass Effect Variations videos FluffyNinjaLlama. Liara's southern accent and Garrus's volus brothel comments had me in stitches :)

  • @gittonsxv
    @gittonsxv 11 років тому +288

    i like how in this dlc alone they have over a hundred different scenes and variations but the ending has like 3 options...

    • @Cremon342
      @Cremon342 11 років тому +1

      I found another one! Well.. I missclicked at my first playtrought.. nothing happend and than I saw some kind of "Stargazer"

    • @NightOwl1515
      @NightOwl1515 6 років тому +1

      Just like the trilogy!

    • @janeshepard6318
      @janeshepard6318 6 років тому +1

      Just like the base game!

    • @GoddoDoggo
      @GoddoDoggo 3 роки тому +2

      It actually has four. Or one, if you're like me and can't bear to do anything _other_ than shooting that little shit each time.

  • @Necroskull388
    @Necroskull388 11 років тому +51

    I like how most squadmates try to just consume the guard's time with something completely insipid, yet Javik just brazenly drops a bomb on him.

  • @Dorano121
    @Dorano121 8 років тому +43

    Garrus's line about the volus brothel killed me.

  • @selenagallegos4297
    @selenagallegos4297 11 років тому +82

    Oh my God! Liara's southern accent. Lol

  • @KBABZ
    @KBABZ 3 роки тому +88

    3:51 This is EASILY the best one

  • @BoyanDimitrov
    @BoyanDimitrov 11 років тому +22

    I love it that he's always so helpful to Tali.

  • @SamuraiMorshu
    @SamuraiMorshu 10 років тому +49

    This guard is the best part of the DLC, I want him as a crew member.

    • @xo7746
      @xo7746 8 років тому +6

      I want him to have his own game.

    • @patrickn.4113
      @patrickn.4113 2 роки тому +4

      @@xo7746 Mass Effect: Guardians

  • @ailluh
    @ailluh 10 років тому +48

    Liara's country accent is so cute omg

  • @aguspuig6615
    @aguspuig6615 2 роки тому +44

    lets be honest, i think Kaidans are the best here, the rest can pretty much rely on their ract, or say something very mild, but Kaidan faking hes about to cry is just gold

  • @miltongeorgina
    @miltongeorgina 8 років тому +78

    Ashley is Awesome! "Feel my muscles!" omg that's the best. haha

    • @Blazieth
      @Blazieth 8 років тому +31

      Ashley is a fucking MASTER at this. Acting drunk, fake crying? Good god.

    • @nekolordnito4931
      @nekolordnito4931 7 років тому +1

      *Clap Clap Clap*

  • @warhawk9566
    @warhawk9566 10 років тому +248

    What's with Liara and the Southern Accent?

    • @SamuraiMorshu
      @SamuraiMorshu 10 років тому +137

      Never realized how much the game needed an Asari Southern Belle until now.

    • @justin13594
      @justin13594 9 років тому +1

      I had to watch that part 3 times just to make sure I heard right o_O

    • @Solaxe
      @Solaxe 9 років тому +5

      Funny how only Americans recognize different accent, I hear no difference.

    • @warhawk9566
      @warhawk9566 9 років тому +9

      ***** well of course it's part of the act but what I mean is. Why a southern accent? Why any accent? She's an Asari, what does accent do?

    • @xenriga
      @xenriga 9 років тому +1

      warhawk9566 Maybe to invoke nostalgia? XD Okay, I don't know :/

  • @blueturtle3623
    @blueturtle3623 3 роки тому +27

    I love that Kaiden's method of distracting the guard to avoid getting kicked out by getting in trouble, is to go up and try to _get kicked out by getting in trouble._

  • @generalmaul4615
    @generalmaul4615 8 років тому +61

    This guard better be in Andromeda, I require more of his banter

  • @snakestone9739
    @snakestone9739 2 роки тому +8

    Legion: "Does this unit have a soul?"
    Guard: That's a...pretty deep questi- wait a minute, mechs aren't allowed here! Who let you in?!

  • @tommywhispers7477
    @tommywhispers7477 10 років тому +52

    I doubt Garrus asked that question just to ask the guard

  • @YoungMrBlue
    @YoungMrBlue 9 місяців тому +3

    0:42 dang Wrex pulled the most cliche distraction
    He really is the groups uncle

  • @SolidSnake0621
    @SolidSnake0621 3 роки тому +30

    Wrex: I need to look in you kitchen. I’m a food inspector.
    Guard: I’m going to need to see some credentials.
    Wrex: You humans are all racist!
    Traveling Turian from ME2: That’s my line!

  • @nevrotik91
    @nevrotik91 9 років тому +61

    Liara's "foreign" accent and Kaidan's "you owe me money" made me rofl.But James,Javik and Ashley were the best.

  • @CallofDutycommentate
    @CallofDutycommentate 11 років тому +81

    The one guy who doesn't flip over a Prothean in his presence. Self control.

  • @chaosrex1487
    @chaosrex1487 9 років тому +105

    Wrex the food inspector!

  • @Xfushion2
    @Xfushion2 11 років тому +62

    Tali has the best distracting lines

    • @benharrison3569
      @benharrison3569 10 років тому +55

      neh ashleys are best only cause she is drunk like f*uck

    • @MrHarindrakvidya
      @MrHarindrakvidya 10 років тому +7

      Tali has a lot o best stuff in ME

    • @jassjake5137
      @jassjake5137 10 років тому +16

      You sure? Loved Wrex's lines.
      "I need to check your kitchen. I'm a food inspector."

    • @DorianMichaelsIII
      @DorianMichaelsIII 10 років тому +6

      Jass Jake The funny thing is, Wrex could probably name himself one if he wanted (since he is effectively leader of the entire krogan race by ME3).

    • @GenericUsername-qp1ww
      @GenericUsername-qp1ww 7 років тому

      nope. Not even close.

  • @Excalibur2112
    @Excalibur2112 11 років тому +73

    Javik, still has a gun attached behind him, lmao. WTF!

    • @Summon256
      @Summon256 10 років тому +3

      LOL and nobody seem to be giving a bloody fuck! ROFL ah Bioware...

  • @1234deathisatthedoor
    @1234deathisatthedoor 11 років тому +40

    Ashley just breaks down into a drunk, its so funny

  • @leonie8525
    @leonie8525 4 роки тому +95

    "I'm sorry sir, but we aim to entertain our guests. Not put them in a coma."
    😂😂😂

  • @Revolutionary1989
    @Revolutionary1989 9 років тому +7

    Lol the poor guard. Travis Willingham cracks me up! Can almost see Mustang's facial expressions while watching this. Thanks for the compilation!

  • @QX1138
    @QX1138 3 роки тому +36

    HK-47: "Distraction: Meatbag, do you know the location of the Star Forge."
    Guard: "Sir, I don't believe this interaction can be canonical."

  • @yawningpheonix
    @yawningpheonix 10 років тому +41

    "Am i going to die??"
    "Stay calm, ma'm. we can take care of it. You have a good night, now."

  • @QuarkDerStrudel
    @QuarkDerStrudel 11 років тому +57

    Ashleys acting drunk. Best performance of all. :D
    Worth an Oscar.

  • @QuarterCentum
    @QuarterCentum 9 років тому +35

    I think Tali was the better at distracting, didn't call too much attention.

    • @FalconWindblader
      @FalconWindblader 8 років тому +3

      But the point of distracting people is to call as much attention to yourself as possible...

    • @Interfector0
      @Interfector0 3 роки тому +8

      @@FalconWindblader The point is to call the attention to yourself AND be able to leave unmolested, in this case, without having to leave the premises. Things like Wrex's food inspector line are admittedly hilarious, but can get you the wrong sort of attention.

  • @sararyder9197
    @sararyder9197 7 років тому +5

    This is by far the best DLC Ive ever purchased for any game...I can watch this stuff over and over.

  • @mstone1995
    @mstone1995 11 років тому +16

    "You don't need to call backup. I just want to play a game that isn't crap." One of wrex's best lines in this dlc.

  • @kari4990
    @kari4990 9 років тому +45

    Aww Kaidan is criying?
    haha he´s adorable! x3 He and Zevran just care about money! ahaha xD

  • @RetroW4ve
    @RetroW4ve 11 років тому +40

    Ha Liaras southern accent made me laugh.

  • @AvalancheZ250
    @AvalancheZ250 7 років тому +5

    "I'm a Prothean"
    "Your the fourth one I've seen this week"
    LOL. Javik must be like "where are the impersonators? I will throw them out the airlock"

  • @frankmills6226
    @frankmills6226 4 роки тому +15

    5:11 Fun fact: All drinks were ALREADY free that night. The guard was trolling Garrus the annoying guest!

  • @calebbradley6522
    @calebbradley6522 10 років тому +14

    Man, these are all funny! Did anyone else notice how competent this guard was? He actually seemed to do a good job, even if he was easy to distract.

  • @breezingby2611
    @breezingby2611 3 роки тому +8

    I love how James correctly guesses the name of the guard’s friend

  • @Fuzzyfezz
    @Fuzzyfezz 9 років тому +31

    I played this scene with Kaidan and was laughing so hard at his distractions that I kept getting caught xD

  • @MrShmigoogy
    @MrShmigoogy 11 років тому +23

    Surprisingly, this guard is actually quite a swell guy. Polite, Helpful, even funny at times. Credit to nameless guards everywhere.

  • @xxninja112233
    @xxninja112233 10 років тому +41

    omg i cannot take liara serious with a country acent