I'm Ethiopian and my grandfather refused this on his kids-- my mom who is 70 is blessed to have a dad who was way ahead of his times! He refused to treat his girls any different from his boys. My mom and dad also opposed this, I love how one or two good people can change entirely generations of culture!!
Yes. It's wonderful. Too often people tell me, "But one person cant change/effect this. So many people are doing it." and I tell them I understand that thought, but then I show them and tell them about all those "one person's" and what they changed, the differences they made, even the most unassuming of people- those that may feel they are not special. They changed things. Even if you only protect one child Whatever it is you want to stop, one person matters more than most people imagine.
That's wonderful. Education is the answer. Without it we never question things and we just keep doing things the way they did them in the past. Your parents were smart and brave to go against what was "traditional".
I'm Sudanese too and my mom had a teacher friend and she's the one who stood against me and my sisters getting mutilated and to this day we owe her so much, later on my mom became an activist against violence toward women in Sudan and helped in launching the campaign "SALEMA" -which means "complete"- and it mainly targets FGM and that every female is born complete and perfect and that FGM is taking parts of her body away as oppose to it adding value to her
We LOVE the سليمة campaign, it has saved many girls from FGM and was vital in making this practice outlawed. I am proud of Sudanese women (and men) who have worked tirelessly to educate and campaign against this ans forge a better future for women in Sudan! 🇸🇩❤️
Omg you were so lucky. Good luck on the campaign. I feel sick just thinking about it. I have a little girl and I'd die if someone hurt her. I can't believe that own parents allow this.
@@Bargaingirlforlife they just don't know any better but most with education will see the truth , they often get pressure from family member's its very sad and needs to stop years ago..
Why????? She survived but many dont. Imagine this Young probably not legally old enough to marry girl who has undergone from level 4 married to a man who is most likely almost same age as her father. On her wedding night an area of her body that is meant to have an opening to allow natural penetration has been reduced to an opening perhaps size of butter bean then a full grown adult male with his fully erect penis forced entry through this small open area. Think of the pain the tearing the blood and lasting trauma. If she's lucky the mother in law may have cut her slightly bigger area or she may have full area reopened and linking rings inserted so her husband can open her for intercourse then once finished will have most lis mother replace them. Who wants to save this molestation. It may sound extreme to westernized minds who practice removal of Clint but full from still happens and girls not grown women die
What about the fact that Jews have been circumcising males since before the birth of Christ? Do you think they had anaesthesia over a thousand years ago? Obviously this is barbaric (and on a completely different level) because in some cases they completely remove a women's ability to feel sexual pleasure from their clitoris and/or vulva (like the woman in the video stated). At least with male circumcision they still have nerve endings that can be stimulated. Of course there are women that can climax from penetration, but that's not the majority, or the point. And the clit has way more nerve endings than a penis. Often, FGM is done with dull, if not rusty, unsanitised blades. So there is a high probability of infection or problems later on. In some communities in Africa they actually sew a women's vagina closed, leaving only a tiny little gap for period blood to leak through. This is so her future husband will know she is 'pure'. There are even surgeries where women can have a hymen grafted, as they would be ridiculed, and become social pariahs, if it were known they had sex before marriage, or even if they had been raped, somehow they would be blamed. Westerners are lucky to live in countries where these practices are not the social norm yet it still happens in places like the UK and Europe behind closed doors among certain communities. It's sad that women and men (or should I say girls and boys) are still oppressed in this day and age. I watched a sad documentary about the voodoo practices in Africa where they kill boys for their gentalia to use in black magic. It's crazy, like I said, that this still happens! Thankfully there are caring people out there going from village to village and educating the locals about these practices and why they are inhumane and unnecessary. This woman has a lot of courage to come out and speak about her experiences but by doing so, she is raising awareness; as much as it upsetting or disturbing to talk about, it needs to be said.
@@0mashartit's partly religoius but more because it is done since generations and they keep on going whit that practise because they are litterally stuck in that tradition. Now more and more women and girls fight against it because due to infections and blood loss there are girls who die or suffer through their whole life. I had friends, girls from the african country in my elementary school, the familly came to europe because they don't wanted that their 3 girls pass through this. But sadly not every girl is so happy
My Somalian friend got type 4 done to her. When she was a little girl. A man was holding her down, while a lady did the circumcision, no anesthesia was used. She said that her body part was thrown on a rock. She got so mad, that she ran off from home at that very young age to her grandmother's, which was very far away. Her grandmother was so upset about it and refused to return her to her mother and raised her instead. She had to get surgery to "fix" herself down there. Today, she is married with 2 sons and thriving.
Heartbreaking. And the fact that the grandmother didn't believe in this practice really goes to show , it's not only passed down it's just what someone can be taught at any point in there lifetime. Very scary to see that this practice can still go on to this day.
Because it happened when she was very young she managed to forget a lot of it..but any mother who let that happened to her child is guilty.. Not feeling anger is another way they took her spirit.
@@veronabarberini3942 anger helps you refuse abuse and protect yourself but afterwards you need to cleanse anger so you can control your emotions and not get too much anger and not get too much fear to be able to not lose your soul and mind and spirit because of anger fear depression that can become so severe that it can become psychotic dépression meaning you lose all logical thoughts and overtime if you don't hear it you lose all ways to survive because logical thought abilitu and good emotions are your strongest survival tools
It's another way to control women. Just like "virginity checks", there's absolutely no logical reason why any of this should be done. I'm so sorry you had to go through this! Thank you for speaking out.
@@arny625 Jesus, society is filled with sick manipulative controlling pedophiles that hide behind their disgusting traditions. I feel sick hearing about this, i am so sorry what so many young girls go through; it breaks my heart
@@alondranelson3812 why just girls… boys and transgender individuals suffer as well and less known because their scared because “boys/men don’t suffer creepy people”
@@arny625 Awe no absolutely not only girls! I know everyone suffers at that hands of these sick psychos. I only mentioned girls because this story was about female genital mutilation, and that's where my mind was. Please forgive my lack of empathy
I knew a woman who gave birth at home about five years ago. Her husband was a soldier and he was away. His mother was present during the birth and saw that her 24yo daughter in law wasn't circumcised. The baby was delivered safely. But the next day the MIL called the local cutter and a bunch of other women to hold down the new mother and cut off her labia and the tip of her clitoris. She didn't last for two hours and died of shock and blood loss. It was heartbreaking to hear. The husband came home to a dead wife and motherless son. He immediately arrested his mother for murder. FGM is a capital crime in Ethiopia but these old timers still do it. In fact this happened in a town two hours away from the capital city. smh
My gosh. May she rest in peace. It's crazy how far some people will go for 'culture' or for their 'belief' and it's sad they don't see the imorality and wrongness because they have fallen so deep into what they think is right. I almost went through type one but fortunately my mom was opposed to it.
I’m amazed that someone would think they had control over another person‘s genitals like that, I am reading so many things in the comments that are utterly despicable.
I’m Ethiopian and literally every female family member who is even slightly older than me has been circumcised… my parents were educated on the effects so they elected not to have me circumstance. Sharing stories and information like this is so vital to end this horrifying practice.
I understand why she makes excuses for her family - because she still loves them and feels for them, for the pain they endured as well. But I still think she's owed an apology and I still think her family is to be held responsible. They knew from their own experience how painful it is and still didn't give her any pain relief medication. They knew that it's illegal in Europe, so they traveled elsewhere. They knew how it affected themselves, their psyche, their sexuality, their health - they still actively made the decision to do this to her. No. You have every right to be angry and to want an apoplogy.
@Ian SacksThe negative effects of FGM are well known. It's like saying that torture doesn't affect people's subsequent psyche, sexuality and health. Stop trying to defend the indefensible. Your comment makes me wonder what you have done to your children.
She chose to embrace her family and to stop the practice from being done to future generations. Getting an apology may provide an ounce of relief but that’s nothing compared to embracing previous generations while stopping the practice for future generations. Make sure you get what you want but remember that others may not want the same for themselves.
The reason behind it is because even the women in her family who did it to her are victims of their culture. I know it’s hard to see that especially when you don’t come from that culture but I know what brainwashing is like. It’s not something you go against. It’s sad. Barbaric. Horrible. But they are all victims of the horrible culture that made that a thing.
I think that yes, they are responsible for this, but it's not like all people whose parents have done some harm to them stop loving their parents or feeling compassionate towards them, especially when their behaviour roots from some bigger picture thing like abusive rituals that are parts of some cultures. Of course, some people don't forgive and I think we have the right not to forgive certain things. But some do, and actually I think it's good for them.
I don’t care what culture you are or where you’re from, messing with a child’s genitalia or reproductive parts is abuse! The adults that make these decisions belong in prison.
I was born in the USA and male circumcision is a standard part of our culture regardless of religion. My first son was circumcised as was my husband. Then we moved to the UK, and I learned that male circumcision was not standard there. For the first time, I realized that we had a choice. I did months and months of research before my second son was born. I read medical articles that said circumcised males had fewer infections. Then I saw other medical articles that said circumcised males had more infections! I saw cultural articles that said circumcised males had greater pleasure during sex, and other cultural articles that said uncircumcised males had greater pleasure during sex. I was an extremely difficult decision, but in the end I decided to circumcise him as well for two reasons. First, men who are circumcised in the teen years or in adulthood have a lot more pain and difficulty healing. So if they are going to get circumcised, the first week of life is the best time because the body heals so quickly. Second, I didn't want him to feel self-conscious about looking different from all the males in his family. There were uncircumcised males who expressed this feeling growing up amongst circumcised males and choose to get circumcised. I have talked to both of my sons about this now that they are teenagers, and they are both very glad that I had them circumcised. They also don't feel any hesitation about circumcising their own sons. What my research revealed, and what their experience confirms, is that FGM is very different. Male circumcision produces an appearance that many males prefer and does not seem to hinder sexual pleasure, actually many males says it increases it. However, I do recognize how difficult of a decision is what to make for another person's body. I felt better when I did a lot of research. I didn't just do it because my culture said to.
@@hrongd circumcision does not affect reproductive health at all and what health benefits do exist are fairly marginal. But it isn't the same thing anyway since many young girls are old enough to remember and rarely sedated and it removes the pleasure organ entirely.
"it's our culture" or " people have been doing it for hundreds of years and our ancestors did it " aren't excuses for violence. People need to hear these types of stories because ignorance is not bliss. This girl is so strong !
@@poopypuffyfruity6667 What? Are you really serious? Such hypocrisy is disappointing. how can you get better treatment after you have already been mutilated?
@matt p did i say on females? christianity is different i was talking abt christianity. It is a choice wether u get it ur good since tht u would hardly get sexual infections and other stuff tht hapens down there unlike most but u do have a choice and no they dnt just cut it out while ur awake well some do but u get better treatment.
Mutilating your child is not just something that 'happens', I would not be able to forgive my mom if she did it to me. Doesn't matter if she went through it as well, almost makes it worse in my eyes. "Oh I went through this horrible thing, so you also have to" I'm so glad this generation has the strength to break the cycle and be open about it
It's not meant to be malicious. You have to acknowledge the fact that these women were brought up their entire lives with everyone they knew, every influence they encountered telling them this is right and normal and good. It's only when one person manages to break through their cultural beliefs and look at the practice objectively that they begin to see that it may not be right. I wouldn't hold them accountable, they did the best they could with the information they were given.
But look most families in America circumcise their baby boys!!! It's barbaric. Parents were told a long time ago that it was for cleanliness sake but that's a lie! They just blindly bought the lie! The nurses or whoever does this, do not give them any pain meds or anything to numb the area. The babies convulse and their eyes roll back in their heads and they pass out, usually they only cry when they come to. You wonder why they don't let you go in with your baby? It's a money making scheme! Don't talk too me about the bible, that's over and done with. I would even venture a guess that if you were to regress men, they could remember the trauma!!!! Wake up and stop it!
Just seeing her sitting here as a child is so heartbreaking. I cannot imagine the amount of pain these children endure. It breaks my heart. So horrendous.
Not castration, either. The equivalent would be to cut off a boys penis with no anesthesia and see the skin together, leaving a tiny opening for urine to pass. No painkillers afterwards, either.
I was born in Sudan in 1985 as a refugee. This happened to me. Although I was only maybe 5 at the time, I still remember the pain and horror. No sedation. I had passed out . All I remember is waking up exhausted from crying and pain. I couldn’t move because I was tied up to the bed, both arms and legs. I looked over to the bed next to me to find my sister had also been tied up. No one in my family talks about it. I actually thought it was a dream. I mentioned it innocently to my mother when I got older just to confirm it wasn’t a dream, she was shocked I remember because I was so young. My sister who was older also remembers.
@@riri5pink I’ve only brought it up once to her. She has no clue. She didn’t think I would remember. I think she truly believed she was doing the right thing.
I worked in an ER as a tech where I was told to place a urine catheter in an older female patient. I went back to the nurse confused. I told the nurse there was no way I could put a catheter in this patient. Something was wrong. All there was, was a little hole. It didn't look right at all. The nurse told me what must have happened to her. My heart sank for this poor lady.
What they don't tell is women being subjected to being cut open to accommodate the wedding nite then sewn back up, then cut open to deliver the child. Over and over again.
I’m also sudanese and unfortunately, this horrifying cultural “ritual” thing was nearly done to myself as well. My mom wasn’t like the other Sudanese mothers and she strictly refused their bribes to get me and my sister (both of us are female) to do it. It’s scary, there’s no painkillers, nothing at all. All to remain “pure” for a husband but to this extent?
'Doing what has always been done' is a choice. They made a choice to keep the abuse going, knowing it would cause harm. This is no excuse. Thank you speaking out for breaking the chain. You are amazing.
@@najay6882 what do you mean they didn't know? They remember the pain when this happened to them, they are looking at a child who is screaming while they torture her, and they surely know that some children die afterwards, from infections and blood loss. If they didn't know that that's wrong and harmful, then they have no business having a child in their custody anyway. Let's not reduce actual human beings to animals without capacity to comprehend empathy, and distinction of right and wrong.
@@najay6882 They knew it was illigal in the host country. That should be enough, and people like them should be arrested for child abuse. Taking your child out of the country to do the crime to them doesn't make it less of a crime when they return to the host nation. She is a British citizen who should have been protected by British law. Multiculturalism is disguesting and allows ethnicity based crime.
Look into infant circumcision in America. They cut off half the skin of the penis and plenty of babies lose their frenulum, the male g-spot. Most get no pain relief because they're crying all the time anyway, so who cares? A doctor can't use general anesthetic on a newborn, but they might inject the baby with ropivacaine through a giant needle, which hurts like hell. Then they tear the foreskin off the glans since it's naturally stuck together like a fingernail to a nailbed. They put the highly sensitive foreskin in a clamp and screw it tight to crush it, then they run a blade around the clamp and tell the mother to put vaseline on this wound for a few weeks. Many boys have obvious issues and revision surgeries. Some lose their penis. Dozens die every year. Millions live the rest of their lives not knowing what their penis was supposed to feel like.
I was asked by my neighbor when was I going to have my children's ears pierced. I said I wasn't because they were not my ears to pierce. When they got of age they can make the decisions for themselves. I am 60 years old. I chose not to pierce my ears. I took care of an 80 year old lady. She was a huge social lite in her day and she didn't want her ears pierce her parents did it to her when she was 3 years old. Vaginal mutilation is HORRIBLE!!!! Any mutilation to children is horrible.
Right of passage into “woman hood” yet they removed part of her woman hood. Ironic. That is child abuse. She was 4 or 5 and called that as “coming of age”. My heart goes out to her. I’m so pleased she is talking about it and creating awareness for this. Her culture is British and she said it’s “cultural norms”.
Depriving women from sexual pleasure sounds like the most infuriating and disgusting thing to me. I don't think I'll ever look at my parents the same way or with the same love ever if they had done that to me. Never. Imagine humans taking away something from you that God gave you. I can only imagine how gods going to avenge these people.
@@jt-ok6sp removing the clitoris it like removing the entire head of the penis. I agree circumcision on men is wrong but they aren't comparable and you know it.
I am a recently retired anaesthetic nurse in Australia. I am also South African. When the Sudanese people started coming to Australia, I wondered when I would see any woman or girl coming for surgery and we would see evidence of this. A lady from Sierra Leone came for surgery one day. We anaesthetised her and then I prepared for the catheterisation. Oh my goodness! I have seen many things in my 48 years of nursing, but I was visibly shocked to see the female genitalia so mutilated. I had seen movies, read about it but nothing prepared me for that. In South Africa we don’t do this. Firstly there was just an absence of the structure and secondly there was an unusual pink scarring against the dark skin. I think everyone in that room, more especially the female staff felt such shock and sympathy for that patient and for every child where this barbaric practice is forced upon.
@Ian Sacks You have probably never been abused to say what you did. Blocking the abuse out and especially the horrid pain she went through is a way of handling something you can't understand at 4 or 5. And she had no idea it was wrong or that it didn't happen to everyone.
@@slypork5030 Her Mother didn't think it was wrong, nor her cousins or Aunts. It happened to everyone. And notice, they had to go back to their 3rd world country to do it.
@Ian Sacks - Evidenced by your psychopathic ‘reasoning’ skills, your claimed former abuse absolutely IS your problem (as well as the problem of all who have the misfortune to interact with you in life) unless/until you acknowledge the abuse and begin working to unbury and heal the trauma. Until that time, you will continue to attempt to illogically lash out and hope to cause pain in others to deal with your unacknowledged trauma.
Victims can also be abusers. The fact that her family, the women, went through it and also subjected their daughters does not make her trauma any lesser. They continued this barbaric ritual knowing the hurt it would cause.
@@bostongirlsandy That's the weird part. It's their culture so it's supposed to be so normal, but they never told her what they were going to do, and never even explained anything afterward until she brought it up herself. Perhaps it's because they live in the UK and they know it's illegal.
@@Nicole-zy4vb that's not the same thing...they don't cut off the entire head of the genitals for men. Men can still feel pleasure through penetration. Cutting off the clitoris of women to impede sexual gratification is barbaric, it makes them only a tool for birthing. You should read more about fgm and learn because it's not the same as men getting circumcised.
It didn't "occur" to you or your families, it didn't "just happen".... It was DONE to you before you were old enough to say NO. I am so sorry.... You are beautiful. Thanks for speaking up and out about this horrific practice!
This is how language is used to change our stories and disguise the truth. Using the passive, rather than active voice in retelling a trauma. Not, "My parents did this", but "It occurred to me". It removes the abuser from the story, and places the responsibility on "culture" or an "accident of fate" or other lie. We need to learn how to tell our stories truthfully - a person committed this act and is responsible for it and the consequences.
That was my first thought: it didn't just "happen". People who love her arranged for it, paid for it, and celebrated it. The other comment is absolutely right that using the passive voice allows for absolution of the adults who were a party to it.
They don't want women to enjoy sex. It's only for men to enjoy sex in the cultures that do it. The women are there to please them. It is a very horrible thing for any reason to do it.
It's Not only that. They just feel excruciating pain any time they have sexual intercourse Not to mention, constant infections or painful deliveries (more than its already for a woman Who wasn't mutilated)
Humans are literally the only (if not one of the only) species that has these pleasure centres JUST FOR PLEASURE and not for childbirth, the fact that people have been deprived of that even though this is literally the way nature intended for us to be is sad. I don't understand how any kind of religion can go against nature and say that this is a good thing.
@@Nanancay I know it's not the only species. The thing is they damage Girls and women beyond that: if a woman can't feel pleasure, has constant infections and are subdued to suffer only pain in sexual intercourse, urinate and having her period...they just expect they acting as Carriers with Not autonomy or rights about their own bodies it's like their bodies doesn't belong to them and they are punished for born with a vagina. Why You call out on me? Im against this barbaric and cruel practice as much as You.
I studied FGM in college over 30 years ago. It's sad and horrific and it's still happening. But I often wonder who sat around thinking, "this is a good idea let's do this to children". Just sick. Makes me furious.
Is because the men hate women in those countries. They abuse them everyday and keep them as there pets. If a women is to ever speak up she will be harmed and beaten.
@@keishaalison7171 I think you would have to ask her to kniw her experience, but from what I studied, many of these girls grow to be women and experience pain when trying to be intimate. It's terrible and sad.
Do women not understand a circumcised penis isn’t what someone was born with. And it’s a very small possibility it was for medical purposes. Male babies get their for skin chopped off. Y’all seem so mad when you see it happening to you, but when happening to others y’all don’t care enough to even notice. 🤦♂️ “misogyny” seriously?!🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Such an important topic still affecting girls and women in many areas of the world. Thank you for speaking out, best of luck for you in your healing process 🙏🏻
imagine this except multiplied by tens of millions each year and apply it to modern civilized countries. Imagine the OUTRAGE. This is exactly how males also usually discover they had their genitals mutilated, yet no one's going to be making a video about it, because no one seems to care.
@@CircmcisionIsChi1dAbus3 agreed that mutilation is wrong for any child. However FGM is much more harmful than MGM. MGM isn’t as commonplace in the U.K. as it is in the US thankfully
@@WickedJinx harm is relative. I'd consider a practice largely common place around the world and largely rationalized to be a fuck ton more harmful than a practice universally condemned as a crime against woman. You need to go to third world countries to find people openly defending it but you cant throw a stone in any direction without finding someone trying to rationalize Male circumcision. Question, how many circumcised woman do you know? Now how many circumcised men? Enough said. Harm isnt based on physical damage alone, common varieties of female circumcision actually involve removing less tissue than Male circumcision does OR none at all. The forms of FGM that are often decried are usually the rarest most extreme forms that are not common place. A lot of varieties involve simply pricking the genitals with a needle. I dont like pandering to the idea that they're difference. It's an ethical discussion. Which is worse, kicking a baby in the face of punching it in the face? It doesnt really matter it's a horrible thing either way so how about we stop them both and pay attention to the one people are actually doing in our own countries?
As a Sudanese woman who was born in America, I can definitely say that I’m so privileged to have never experienced that. I know some girls, even if they were born outside of Sudan, they get taken on those family trips for those reasons and it’s beyond disheartening to even fathom that my mother, aunts, female cousins and grandmothers have been through such a traumatic experience. Even though it’s criminalized, it’s still practiced. And many countries especially in Africa still do this.
If you are going to prosecute one family members you will have to prosecute an entire generation. We as a people of different generations have a voice. We just didn't know what direction to use it. You are threated as a young person that if you spoke about out family suffers and if you make it a normal occurrence then no one will talk. I'm glad she and the family members spoke out to end this painful abuse.
Then everyone who circumcised boys should also be prosecuted ... Which is at least half the population of the earth. It should be made illegal yes, and offer help to survivors
@Ian Sacks I think you have your wires crossed with me. I was not the one saying parents should be prosecute. Obviously you are unable to tell the difference from one reply to another. For one I was saying if you punished one all must be punished and that's not possible when all are not the ones doing the damage. Some are the victims of the culture. I was saying to continue to speak out against such things. And if you really knew what you were talking about you would have listen to the video which she said some cultures are banning the practice. Do learn to read.
the fourth type of fgm is full mutilation and the man still expects sexual relations and then childbirth. it causes so much pain to the woman and constant infections and urinary infections, which can eventually lead to death from kidney problems, because they only leave a very small hole there. it is scary
Some real bull, I can understand the first two multalations , but to cut everything off is control and madness, barbaric demonics Humiliation ritual unnecessary
@@fritnat Birth rate probably shows that the wife is willing to just lie there and take it on a regular basis. Because without a clitoris she doesn’t know what’s she’s actually missing out on & so won’t experience sexual frustration from a lack of female orgasm after arousal, because she’s simply *not able* to become aroused in the first place! So her only purpose for allowing this non pleasurable sexual act is children! Not being able to fully empty the bladder & closing up the hole that allows vaginal mucus to escape allows bacteria to build up there & is known to lead to kidney infections from cystitis etc.
If anybody who suffered FGM feels a single ounce of shame, please know that this cultural trauma is 0.0000000000000000000% your fault. What happened to you does NOT diminish your worth as a person; you are a survivor, just as Sarah was saying. Every single one of you who speaks out against this nightmarish practice, despite how hard it must be, you are heroes.
When I lived in Saudi Arabia I had an Eritrean friend who had her INFANT daughter get FGM'ed. Myself and another friend tried to convince her not to do this, to no avail. She said her daughter would not be considered worthy to marry if she was not circumcised! The baby got a terrible infection (no duh!) and had to be hospitalized for 2 weeks with antibiotics dripped into her! It is totally a male control method and has absolutely no value or bearing on a woman's integrity! Terribly barbaric!
I have to wonder what person of influence one day said, " let's mutilate our children so they feel no sexual desire" and the rest followed suit. I have heard many stories of extreme impoverished little girls who had never had a toy would be told they would get a doll. Walk many miles, get the procedure done then made to walk 10 miles home right afterwards , bleeding without a doll. The pain is unimaginable, not only physical but the pain of betrayal.
_"with regard to circumcision, one of the reasons for it is, in my opinion, the wish to bring about a decrease in sexual intercourse and a weakening of the organ in question, so that this activity be diminished and the organ be in as quiet a state as possible."_ - Moses Maimonides, The Guide for the Perplexed, translated by Shlomo Pines. (University of Chicago, 1963) Originally written ca. 1190. Part III, Chapter 49, Page 609
@@quota3734 Grown ass women take their newborns to get sexually altered to suit their personal tastes in America, Israel, Korea, et al, every few minutes.
What's the point of life if you can't even have normal compassionate sex, its a normal and healthey act for bearing children people really need to stop looking at it as a sin
@@galinpaskalev6262 Ugh, this is what happens all the time. Women come forward talking about stuff and it’s instantly “but men this” “but men that”. The reason male ‘circumcision’ isn’t ‘dealt with’ is because men aren’t talking about it. It’s the situation with male sexual assault all over again: Men need to talk about their own problems instead of only bringing them up when women are talking about theirs. Men matter and their experiences matter, but the only time men bring their problems up, is when women are talking about their problems. Why don’t you, if you’re a man, start talking about mgm instead of blaming everyone else for not talking about it?
@@KamoreeLove so I do not see anything wrong that cj said because men majority of the time do not talk about there issue unless a woman does and when men do that, it down play woman issue, it make woman issue seems deficient😮💨
The tears streamed for me as well. My daughter (while in high school) worked with an NGO regarding this issue. The beauty is that this woman did not blame but sought to educate others. Bless her heart.
Plenty of these women don't see it as mutilation because they don't have terrible complications, same as plenty of circumcised American men. So you should bring that same outrage energy to America, Israel, Korea, et al, if you want to be taken seriously by these FGM countries.
@@VIEWITIS there are plenty of complications because of these surgeries. unsterile, and completely taking away someone's ability to feel pleasure in some cases. How is that their right?
I was born in (and still live in) the U.S., but my family is from Malaysia. When I was about 3-4 years old, my mom sent me to Malaysia to live with my grandmother for 1 year. I remember a woman coming to the house, and performing a short, painful procedure on my genitals, but I had no idea what was happening. When I got older, I realized that I was a victim of FGM. I think the woman removed my clitoral hood, as well as some of my inner labia. It's definitely traumatizing when I think too much about it. This barbaric practice still happens in many countries, and needs to be put to an end.
My god, I’m so sorry you went through that. You are so strong. That’s really scary to think about; I hope you are in a good place right now and have access to lots of support. Much love, ❤️❤️❤️
My mom had this done to her. It's really messed up. She's okay now, and would never in a million years have allowed my sister or I to undergo something like that. Thank goodness.
do people who go through this feel pleasure in the clitoris? sorry if it's a very invasive question, but does it deprive the person of feeling? Do you have any surgery or something to reverse?
What a shame how awful, why would her mum put her through this if it happened to her, I'm heartbroken. This child abuse needs to stop. God bless this lovely girl.
Did you watch the video? She literally addresses it. Instead of blaming another victim/survivor, maybe think more it’s been entrenched in how the mum was brought up. Many people who’ve tried to talk to family like “why did you do this to me” get completely stone walled anyways, at least this mum could discuss it with her.
@@tacocatt6808 I still blame the parents. That’s like saying let’s not blame the parents who abuse their kids verbal or physical bc that’s what happened to them too. Just bc you were a victim doesn’t mean you’re not an abuser when you do what’s been done to you
I remember reading a book by Waris Dirie a long time ago, she went through the level 4 mutilation in Somalia. It is barbaric and cruel, and I don't care about being culturally sensitive. I could never allow that to happen to my child. I was a cultural anthropology major and spent a lot of time thinking about this (as well as other practices in certain cultures such as Papua New Guinea) and concluded that I believe in a universal morality and certain things are just wrong.
You can't say you wouldn't do this if you were part of the culture. You can only say you wouldn't do it cause you are in a position of privilege. And like she said she didn't see anything wrong with it until she was 17. What happened was made to seem normal therefore there was nothing for her to question.
@@nikolnolastname4473 There are countless examples of women and men within a culture that did this and fought against it. She thought it was normal because she was a child and her brain wasn’t developed. I was talking about the adults. The idea that your brain can’t think beyond your own cultural norms is ridiculous. Many knew it was wrong but were too afraid to speak up. It would require courage for sure, but yes, I would refuse no matter the consequences.
@@Athena124 I hear you but there have been many mothers that did not allow this to happen to their children but ther husband or family went behind their back to get the procedure done. You also have women that have gotten it done because no one wants to marry an "unclean" woman. What you are saying comes from a place of privilege because you sont face the same reality as these people.
@@nikolnolastname4473 As I said in original post, I studied this in college and I’ve independently read 3 books of women’s personal experience with it. I am more than aware of all the scenarios that have or could have played out, if a nonconforming choice was made. I can tell you wanted to apply the word privilege somewhere but it doesn’t really fit here. You always have a choice of what you are willing to do or not do. As a mother I would refuse. Obviously, there are scenarios of a decision being overridden, but that is not the same. The woman in this video seems relatively young and it is unfortunate that with so much effort made by the brave women before her, that fought hard to abolish this mutilation, weren’t able to save her.
I literally wanted to jump into the screen at the sight of you crying and help you! This is barbaric and I'm glad you survived. I cannot imagine the horror, I cannot imagine a parent putting their child through this as a right of passage just because it's tradition. I feel utterly horrified that it was accepted and became norm to do this in any culture.
It is truly awful and barbaric, even sick tbh. And to think it is still happening yesterday today and likely tomorrow to young girls and women is horrifying, often done in an unsanitary environment with " make do " knives and blades from the kitchen with no local anesthetic etc, my heart goes out to all these girls Hopefully with education this tradition will end, would be even better if government's of the countries where it goes on actually banned the whole practice, with serious penalties for those caught doing it to these poor kids. I once saw an African girl getting it done at around early teen's, the woman who did the cutting, used a razor blade, one of those stainless steel very thin flexible ones straight from the packet, the girl screamed and screamed, and was held down with her legs pulled apart, I still can't get the whole scene out of my mind. Afterwards the poor girl didn't look the same, took all the carefree joy from her happy persona and didn't see her smile again for the rest of the documentary.
How they claim that a 5year old child has entered womanhood ? In today’s climate People aren’t even allowed to define what a woman is . Anyone with 1/2 a brain can see that a crying 5 year old is not yet a woman
@@fritnat You seem to assume a lot about me, I don't get what you're beef is ? I openly stated I think FGM is atrocious, and told you it IS illegal here in the UK, the law was put in place in I think September of 1985. You say it isn't banned in the UK, but it clearly states that it is. And by " poor " kids I mean the unfortunate victims of this practice. So what are you getting at ?
Any mutilation of a child's body without their CONSENT is a criminal act....END OF STORY! Anyone who condones or participates should be prosecuted.😡😡😡 No excuse
That's the problem though isn't it, the definition of "mutilation". Her family clearly didn't see it as that. What about a child born with a deformity like an extra finger or toe, is it mutilation to remove that? Of course I'm not defending this, but pointing out that it's not quite as easy as drawing a line in the sand
@Halloween All Year Round Actually, there are times where children can consent to medical treatment without the consent of their parents on their behalves. Gillick Competence is used for this exact purpose to gauge whether or not a child can understand the significance of the treatment they are receiving. It obviously depends on the particular procedure and is carefully evaluated for benefits versus costs. Something such as FGM is not going to be deemed to be a practice which benefits the health of the patient, and for someone who does meet the criteria for Gillick Competence, they would likely be denied the procedure anyways. Something like accessing contraceptives or abortion, however, would generally be considered a much more viable treatment for a juvenile who meets the criteria for Gillick Competence.
Pomeranian Warfare 🏳️⚧️ they may consent, but children aren’t serious. Think of when you were around the age of five. Did you think seriously? No, you probably just wanted to play around with friends. That is why we have parents making decisions for their children daily.
My parents hated themselves for having to hold me down while I screamed as I had to get shots after being diagnosed with diabetes. They almost couldn't do it even though it was necessary to do for me to live, because they loved and cared for me so much and didn't want to ever see me scared, sick, or in pain. It was way more traumatizing for them. I wonder how these parents justify this?
I read that mothers hate it just as much to see their girl in pain, but that they deem it necessary as she otherwise may not find a man to marry as she would be perceived as impure. You could be shunned from society, maybe even attacked.
What confuses me about some countries is how they forbid some of the beautiful things about their culture such as dancing, art, music etc while wanting to uphold evil practices like FGM. It's disgusting how people use religion to justify this! I once saw a documentary about FGM in Somaliland where one of the guys who was interviewed said that their culture is more important than a woman's feelings.
Um... No,sorry as a Somali I have to tell you it's never religion,just culture they do it because they need to suppress women's sexuality.why? Because they believe that if you don't get circumcised you'll probably sleep around ,tarnish the family name blah,blah, blah. Some will try to say it's "islamic" and that " it makes you clean and good" they're liers!!
@@Layla-o9k4y I know it's a cultural thing but some ignorant people mask it as religion so they can justify and continue it. If God did not want women to have that body part he would not have created it in the first place. It has an important function!
@@danielsabr3822 that function is precisely what they try to repress thru fgm because allegedly, it's a gateway to sin. Religion in all aspects is disgusting because it's a human invention and humans are inherently disgusting. And the planet continues to orbit.
@@danielsabr3822 People doing FGM for religious reasons often forget that God made sex and he made it to be pleasurable for both parties. Otherwise those parts wouldn’t be there.
@Tuatha De Sidhe It’s not the same for males. Male circumcision can be performed on an adult without all of the horrific consequences that happens to girls/women, and it’s done for totally different reasons.
@@briancoultertbmoth3141 but it’s most commonly done on babies, who don’t know what’s going on. Male circumcision is equally wrong, unless there’s a medical need for it
@@edenstar196 It's still not equivalent to this practice. In a perfect world each person would give consent before anything was done to them. But unless the entire head of the penis was chopped off, the open wound crudely sown shut, not allowing for proper passage of urine, leading to infections and fistulas, leading to more scarring, pain and foul smells, and the male child never being able to experience sexual pleasure... It's not the same.
@@edenstar196 And leading to excruciating pain on top of the pain already endured during child birth. But I guess a male doesn't have to worry about that, huh?
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine the trauma. I’m rather disturbed that someone filmed this entire process. It doesn’t feel right and I wish that we could educate people and let them know that this “tradition” is abuse. These types of things were put in place by the patriarchy who were and still are afraid of women being sexual. Women being women.
@Ian Sacks Umm did you not listen to what the woman said in the video? She talked about how women should be pure and have no sexual desire in her culture, and are regarded in that way. Who else would place that ideal onto women?
@Ian Sacks what is wrong with you , how can you comment that under a Video where a women is literaly mutilated to never be Able to live her sexual freedom ??! How can you be so dumb and Not connect the dots
@@Chlobo134 women can be mutiIated by choice when they surgically transition to male. We aren't talking about adults who choose to get a procedure done, we're talking about children who have no say.
I just can't get over it being put as a 'journey to womanhood' when this happened to her as a 4 year old baby. At that point you are about to become a child not a woman, the fact that even with the cultural beliefs surrounding sexuality (which I don't support) that someone can apply that logic to a literal toddler is astounding.
I thought it was common when i was a kid. A girl classmate of mine told me her cousin (girl) got circumsized which got me confused, then my other girl classmates told me "oh, you don't know abt it? That's weird" along those lines and they said it was to "purify" us at a very young age. They said it was painless at an earlier age like us (10 yr. Old-ish at the time). What they were saying was the type 1. When i asked my mom, i remember she had a kind of dreaded look and asked who told me those things, I don't remember what she said next and I'm thankful i get to watch this video. Thank god i, my siblings, and cousins didn't get to experience this but it's still terrifying how it was so close that my classmates almost convinced me into doing it without my parents knowing since it'll be "purifying" me.
Can I ask a question ? Obviously this is a culturally complicated issue but it seems some people(parents) are fine with it and others are not, are the parents that aren’t okay with it concerned about the pain or risk of injury/infection ? Or is it a circumstance where they realized it was wrong ? I’m just kinda confused cause it seems like the mind set of oh you don’t know any better so you wouldn’t question it , you know ? I also feel like western influences and norms might play in here
@@taylorreynolds3176 As someone from a culture that practices it, there are a lot of people who are against it because they think it's wrong but it's a deeply embedded cultural practice. Even when it's illegal some people still practice it. My grandfather was against it with my mom but as a man he was overruled because it's seen as a woman's practice or women's business. People might be surprised to learn that a lot of men are actually against it but the women, especially older women, are the ones who hold on to it and continue the tradition. There's definitely a lot of ignorance and lack of knowledge fueling it - ignorance about religion, the human body etc. It's also because of cultural norms that view it as purifying or a right of passage, women who don't get it are seen as not full women or something is wrong with them. I guess the ones who practice it either believe this or they're scared to be viewed as going against the norm, standing out, being viewed as doing something wrong etc. In my opinion, there's also some women who had it done to them so they're resentful and want it done to other women as well. But there is progress being made so there is hope, it just won't happen overnight.
@@viola7052 we know very well that the monster who wants to continue doing it are just angry this was taken from them and wan to inflict pain to other poor inocent kids innthe name of purity and customs
The fact that all the women in her family also had it done doesn't make it better, it makes it worse. They knew the damage that had been done to them, emotionally and physically, and chose to perpetuate it. Culture is not an excuse to torture.
They didn’t know the damage because it was a normal thing for them in their culture, Sarah herself even said she didn’t think about it properly until she realised not everyone goes through that
I'm from kenya too,I'm 16 n i am so thankful for all the women,like your mum,who worked to ensure the girls of future generations are safe.I can be safe today and uncircumcised thanks to their effort.❤
My cousin is doing the same right now. I’m not sure where she is at present, but she’s sent back stories of being attacked and having rocks thrown at her for advocating to eradicate this practice. One man even threatened to do it to her himself. Some people are just sick.
To all the little girls that have endured this my heartfelt sympathy. Sarah, you are a star for bringing this to our attention. In no way was this any of your doing, just cultural tradition.
Would you forgive a paedophile for abusing you as a kid because it happened to them when they were a kid? The parents are awful in my opinion and shouldn't get away with it just because it happened to them.
The main reason they do that is because is so ingrain to their society they don't realise how screw up it is. They don't think twice unless someone points it out.
What would she win by hating her parents exactly? If someone wishes not to forgive their parents, that's fine. But it is a good thing for her that she was able to forgive them.
Some people do forgive their abusers. It's easier to forgive when you see them also as a victim. I don't think you understand how normal these things in other lands are that we more developed nations see as atrocious. There's no mental concept that it is wrong for most. Nobody has taught some of these people that what they are doing is not normal. When you question it they are confused because the idea of not following certain norms has not even entered their heads
Sarah has such grace & poise; she's been able to draw strength from something so horrific & has refused to let this beat her down or hold her back. Incredible role model & advocate for women & women's rights everywhere.
I remember when this happened to me. I went on vacation at my cousin house. Some of my cousins had it done to them few days prior. They glamorized it so much so that I wanted it to happen to me. I wanted to be a woman 😂🤣😂. Without my parents permission my older cousin took me to the cutter. I experienced so much abuse that vacation, that i never wanted to go on vacation again. Now that am a mom of 3 beautiful girls, last year we went on vacation to west Africa in my country of origin, my in laws tried everything to get the kids circumcised and I refused. My husband and I totally refused to put our girls through that. Their excuses were that if we don’t do it the girls will grow up to be total sluts sleeping around. I know that’s not true in fact I have seen American women save themselves up until they find the right one. I didn’t want my girls to go through the pain of not been satisfied sexually when they get married.
Never, for one moment, EVER let any of those relatives be alone with your children. Some people are so determined to keep up barbaric practices they will do whatever they can to circumvent you. Please, please make sure even your own husband is 100% on your side when it comes to this. Don’t let his parents try to convince him to change his mind.
@@PennyPennyPennyPennyPenny he won’t do it we already talked about it. Every time my kids visit I will be with them. Am also a nurse so I told them if they do it the government will put us in jail.
@@amiejalloh2467 You still need to be vigilant. There are SO MANY stories of this happening behind the parents' backs by misguided family members, to boys and girls.
@@fritnat cuz he still has the head of his penis intact , he got the foreskin removed which is still awful. If they removed the hood of the clitoris then that would the equivalent of what a male has done when cut
I understand about it happening to the women in her family and it being a rite of passage. But this is actually a criminal act in Europe. A couple recently got sentenced to prison because of FGM in Ireland. Forgiveness is good and healthy for all but just because you were a victim of something doesn't mean it's okay to perpetuate it onto the next generation. Her parents knew enough not to get it done in the UK, but rather travel to Sudan to get it done. What is bad is bad, let's stop making excuses for bad behaviour.
Absolutely!! Ppl say blame the culture not the parents but I disagree. As parents you have control over what happens to your kids and her mom knew how painful this experience was and still allowed to to be done which is sick.
it would have been enough to be like "oh no but we can't do it in UK, poor girl won't ever enter womanhood. Anyways...". Or even pretend before their families that they got it done when they didn't.
@@tymondabrowski12 exactly just pretend if anything bc it’s not like they will ever find out and now that they live in Britain she’ll probably marry another British person
@@ninnyspencer4774 that's fine if that's your perspective but when people say "I'm not a victim" it implies that being a victim is a bad thing like it makes you weak. I'm an SA survivor as well and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a victim of it, it's just a descriptor. I feel like it's unnecessarily stigmatising something that shouldn't be a stigma.
She has that right. I'm also circumsized, and I agree it's the culture that's the issue, not the family. I decided not to do it on my kids and my mom and dad were like "Ok, it's your choice". The real discussion begun when explaining it was barbaric, and seeing them so honestly confused. You could see the cognitive dissonance happening in them. I did not got them to embrace my views, but they were willing to respect them. It ends with me.
What a beautiful and honest reflection on not only the impact of her experience with FGM but also the experience of collective cultural trauma and how the healing process HAS to involve the empowering of survivors and the disruption of stigma. So grateful to Sarah for sharing this.
I have done a surgery to restore some parts...very sad! I forgave my parents because they are also victims of a very bad culture. I am glad you forgave your parents too and put a stop to this bad practice in your family. Great work! you are going to be helpful to so many families.
I agree that her parents and family likely didn’t understand there was anything different about it. If you grew up with something you don’t think twice about it. She even said that. Most Americans circumcise their infant boys. To me that is wrong, but I know it’s their tradition.
She is so heartwarmingly mature about the situation. You can tell she’s so full of love and optimism. It’s a refreshing feeling to feel, even if it’s through a screen. I wish you all well
Same thing happened to me ,I never really knew what was going on nobody prepared me ,I was taken in my sleep at 4 o'clock in the morning, it just happened I Screamt fighting so hard that demon of a woman almost damaged my eye 40yrs later my eye reminds me of that day I got the scar,I passed out,took long to heal,has affected me so much sexually,took my confidence away too,have never been able to speak out about it can never allow such to happen to my daughter
Its Your choice . When you don't allow your daughter to have it . It's your parents choice to give to you . If you want to heal first learn to understand your own people cultures
@@enddaoccupation this isn’t culture. this is a barbaric practice. no parent should ever do this to their child. no parent should mutilate their child’s body if not for medical reasons.
@@enddaoccupation fuck culture it destroyed me from my childhood I have never forgiven any of them my eye's scar is a constant reminder of what they took from me
Parents who put their children through this sort of agony and takes their pleasure away from them belongs in jail. their uncivilized,cruel old school cultural and religious practices doesn’t belong in this day and age, I honestly can’t forgive or have empathy for these sort of people.
@@suzygirl1843 because it’s probably men who came up with those disgusting practices, it’s the men that made rules in Islam for women which is utterly disgusting, a man should have no right to have any authority over women or anybody, except themselves. Islam is a very patriarchal, sexist, homophobic, cruel religion, filled with bigots and it’s laws doesn’t belong in this day and age. Anyhow regardless of their gender nobody deserves to be put through this disgusting practice.
I remember my neighbor talking to me about it. She was the same age as me and I didn’t even know what it was at the time. I asked my dad and he was so furious he told me to never go to that girl’s house again. we were I think 10. Fast forward to the age of 16. My best friend was talking to me about wanting to do it because she thought IT WAS GOOD FOR HER, her mom was against it yet her grandmother wanted her to have it. All I can remember is the anger I felt and how much I tried to talk her out of it till she eventually decided not to do it.
Remember, abuse isn't cultural. Abuse can't be "part of your culture" Whether it's mutilation, hitting, shaming, etc it's not okay and there's no excuse I hope everyone involved gets major karma. They deserve prison
When almost every single person of a culture does it, is it abnormal or normal to their culture? It’s a normal cultural practice but that doesn’t make it morally acceptable. People used to do all kinds of fucked up stuff but it was a normal part of their culture and society. Abuse can be a part of one’s culture. The girl literally says it and she experienced it herself. Young people in these cultures are deciding to change because they’re realizing they want to change their culture for the better.
@@ElvenSailor_Main yes. It is. FGM was apart of that culture and still is even though it’s now illegal. Why argue against that? The woman in the video even said so.
I’m a new mother to a son. I’m also an expat Israeli Jew. Doing this type of thing to little boys and girls is horrific and I refused to let my mothers family force me into mutilating my perfect baby boy. Absolutely not! I’m so sorry to this woman.
Çircumcision is NOT mutilation. Female genetlia IS mutilation! There is no Divine /religious source for fgm. There IS Divine source for circumcision. THAT, is NOT mutilation. Even surgeons/doctors find health benefits, besides being done on the 8th day after birth, when the baby boy's nerves are less developed. The baby may cry in the 1st few seconds, but is quiet , and nursing as soon as the healing medicine n bandage are applied. FGM is barbaric, it stems from those cultures where MEN want to control the WOMEN to keep them fidel to their husbands, n not risk unwed pregnancy.
@@cookinggerson4000 Maybe in archaic times, circumcision was seen as beneficial because there was no soap and water. Soap and water have since been invented, so there is no need to cut off bits snd pieces from newborn boys.
How utterly barbaric. All circumcision is wrong - even new born boys - as nobody has the right to damage another person's body like that. Unless it's for medical reasons that is, which it can be for some male circumcision. But to do that to young girls is criminal.
Male circumcision is is almost aways medically needed. Males get curcumcized for hygiene purposes. Unless you want to peel back your sons foreskin and clean the crusty smelly shmeg....
I mean, personally I think if you want it done and it does not put you in critical harm you should have the choice to have it done, but on children?? it really is barbaric and cruel, something like that should never be done to someone when they cannot even consent to the procedure.
I don’t know how I feel about circumcision. I don’t think I could put my baby through it (had I decided to have one) but don’t think less of people that do. This is different because she was old enough to remember. This is more than just the physical pain but the mental that she’ll have to carry with her always. And it’s more than just “the procedure”. This would completely destroy a child’s trust towards their parents…which is by far the most damaging part. Absolutely disgusting.
This genuinely broke my heart. Because I hade a friend who fled from Ethiopia to avoid being cut. So even thought I don’t know what’s it’s like, I could see the horror in her eyes when she told me her story and I genuinely feel sorry you had to go through this abuse. And therefor it’s great that you can speak up about it. So people who is born I another culture can empathize with you and so many others to hopefully raid awareness. Thanks for reading and lots of love form Sweden to you all
I had a friend in high school who was from Ethiopia. I had no idea this was practiced there. We took an anatomy class together, I wonder if everything was okay with her during those units 🥲 I pray she and her family didnt get mutilated
I'm born in the late 50's and it still hunts me, because many of my friends suffered this ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUSLY FGM ACT performed by our mum's and grandmum's, because I was of a different cast and social level I was taken away to me dad's homeland England. Physically I was saved but the evil trauma of seeing the aftermath of this abusive stain💔 has broken me in so many places and the lack of social sexual education by the elder women is our hope by the younger generations to place " COMPLETE END" TO ALL FORMS OF FGM NOT JUST PHYSICAL ABUSE BUT TO THE EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ABUSE🙏💯💞💕
I’m sorry for what you have been through. I would like to ask you a couple questions for my own curiosity, if you choose not to answer I understand. What was the reason for doing this? Was it to keep the girls pure until marriage? If your friends have children or grandchildren did they prevent their children from having this done? What country were you from? I ask these questions to help me understand why this continues to happen to these young girls. You get answers of it being their culture, religious etc. I guess I want to know how does the mother explain this to her daughter. In this woman’s case there aren’t many questions a 5 year old would ask as compared to a 12 year old before she had it done. As an adult I would think there would be a lot of questions not to blame but to understand why. We are about the same age, I would say people didn’t question things back then like we do today or maybe we did but didn’t get answers.
@@elainehenning1387 Good day Beautiful 👑 thank you for the questions, I can only answer from my experiences and when those that have responded with its cultural they are being truthful this is never explained, also I think you may have misread my note. I hope my reply helps, this is beyond complicated and is still practiced this heinous act which has continued to harm over 200 million girls and women, there is no number on those that have died as a result of this heinous act. Please to all watch the film 2009 DESERT FLOWER ● Niether myself and any women of my family was a part of this FGM as stated because this is a cast and wealth system I am not from the village. ● No this heinous act of FGM not on me ● I'm not in communication with many of them from childhood so I do not know if their children fail victim to this heinous act ● I'm from Chennai Tamil Nadu India, Asia ● In all cases of FGM the girls are between 5 to 9 years, very rare older than that, because some may have started puberty by 10 years of age ● It is still not questioned, in most village's, many of the mum's believe this will make their daughters more valuable to their husband's as I learned when I was older to know what they went through, this was a way to keep the girl/ woman loyal when the husband traveled because she would have no desire for sexual intimacy.
@@Dr.Mahadrasjethwani_MD thank you for answering. I am glad you didn’t have to go through any of those horrific rituals. I hope that the parents of these young girls will realize the value of their child is so much more than sexual desire. If they don’t see men and women as equal human beings some of these older rituals will continue. As women are educated and work with the public, hopefully they will understand that they have choices. It may be to late for them but to stop FGM from happening to their children and grandchildren. Causing unnecessary pain and harm to children needs to end in all countries. We don’t have FGM in our country but still children are abused by their parents or others involved in their care. Take care
So sad that it's just continued on without the women deciding for themselves that it's wrong to mutilate their own children even considering that it's happened to them too.
@Ian Sacks how you mean what conditioning? She herself did not know what was wrong with it until her friends told her, the same way her mother and aunts probably accepted it as norm especially as it was not something that they spoke about.
@Ian Sacks a child that is beaten repeatedly and feels pain doesn’t realize this is wrong. They know it hurts them but that is what they have always known. They think it happens to other kids until they talk to them and find out differently. Does that make it ok?
@Ian Sacks you said it didn’t bother her until someone reminded her. That is not the way it is. She thought it was normal or the same for everyone until she learned differently. My point was having a parent hurt you and cause you pain as a child you think this happens to all kids until you find out that is not true. Your parents are hurting you because of their own beliefs.
@Ian Sacks Circumcision as a cultural practice is wrong unless the person getting circumcised is consenting. Children can't consent. Even if they were asked and they said yes, they wouldn't have the true capacity to really understand that this is something that is getting taken away from them forever, and that it could very possibly negatively affect there physical health and any sort of pleasure they could have from sex later on in life. You also mention 'women' looking forward to it during there wedding. I'm assuming you actually mean consenting adult women not literal children, so you can't really compare these two situations at all.
I don't have the words to explain how gutting this is, how insane this is. why are people allowed to do this? this was torture, she must've not remember much due to the trauma. it's chilling to know this happens daily. what could we even do to stop this? I'm at a loss
I'm extremely sorry you suffered so much pain. I really feel for you and others that have had it done. and without an anesthetic at that age is just brutal. Thank you for educating me on a topic that I've not given much thought to.
Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share your story. I found it helpful to explain how it feels and how not speaking about it created almost a hidden shame and was disempowering and oppressive to the women who’ve suffered it, but opening up a dialogue of some kind, talking about it with other women who’ve been through a similar thing and also talking to other women within the family throughout the generations and taking steps to end it and end it within the culture (as it’s now illegal in Sudan) has help you all feel empowered and have some kind of sense of freedom from oppression and hope towards a brighter future for women. Even made me a bit teary towards the end. Thank you for sharing.
@Jason Barnett See America and it's medicalization and boosting of male circumcision, which of course just transitioned into medicalization and boosting of female circumcision in Michigan by U.S. District Judge Bernard Friedman.
My mama was a victim of this. It occurred without my grandmother’s permission (she was a single mother in Ethiopia and would leave her with family who were the ones who took her to have this done.) When my grandmother found out she almost killed the other person, she was so enraged. My mother never trusted babysitters for us and only let certain trusted ppl watch us and I think it’s part of the reason why. It’s a disgusting practice, only with a goal of controlling women. Many women think their daughters will be unable to marry if they don’t get it. My mom made sure my sisters and I were safe from this but it’s upsetting how many 2nd gens this happens to even though we’re not even in those countries anymore. It’s still widely done back home, though not as much in the big cities but this woman is so brave for telling her story. There is so much shame surrounding FGM though the victim is not at all at fault for it .
This is a good example of why we SHOULD criticize each others cultures (in a productive way, when needed). The last couple of years you cannot mention any cultures flaws or you're suddenly racist against those people. Theres a huge difference between racism/ discriminating someone, and noticing flaws/speaking up about them/ banning certain abusive practices. I wish this lady the best, and I can't imagine the physical and mental pain she went through. Nobody deserves this kind of treatment.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DONE TO ME but there wasn't any hospitals or anybody available for it to be done and my mom persisted as all the women in her family and my father's family had has it done, but time kinda went by and i grew older so it was impossible.
Absolutely heartbreaking, had me in tears but she's so strong. My family is from Egypt and my maternal grandmother + all the women on my father's side have had this done to them. Thankfully my maternal grandfather was an educated and liberal man and refused to let it happen to my mother, and my parents didn't let it happen to me either. It still feels too close.
This was honestly really hard to listen to, but I’m so glad I listened to her story. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your experience and thoughts on FMG
She was able to break the cycle. So sad that her mother and grandmother weren't able to or aware of how to do it. I honestly think these kind of ''rituals'' are always meant to keep people in check. And the whole idea of not being able to step p for yourself or do with your own life what you want to do. I think, especially in regardless of religion, this stuff should stop. This can't be a good thing.
I cannot imagine your mom going through that pain herself and making the choice to force her own daughters to go through the same pain. Cultural or not its an unsafe, unfair tradition that should not be happening.
I'm Ethiopian and my grandfather refused this on his kids-- my mom who is 70 is blessed to have a dad who was way ahead of his times! He refused to treat his girls any different from his boys. My mom and dad also opposed this, I love how one or two good people can change entirely generations of culture!!
This makes me happy to read 🙏🏼
Yes. It's wonderful.
Too often people tell me, "But one person cant change/effect this. So many people are doing it."
and I tell them I understand that thought, but then I show them and tell them about all those "one person's" and what they changed, the differences they made, even the most unassuming of people- those that may feel they are not special. They changed things.
Even if you only protect one child
Whatever it is you want to stop, one person matters more than most people imagine.
That's wonderful. Education is the answer. Without it we never question things and we just keep doing things the way they did them in the past. Your parents were smart and brave to go against what was "traditional".
Mad respect for your grandpa, god bless him!
Amazing, I'm so happy you have a grandfather like that
I'm Sudanese too and my mom had a teacher friend and she's the one who stood against me and my sisters getting mutilated and to this day we owe her so much, later on my mom became an activist against violence toward women in Sudan and helped in launching the campaign "SALEMA" -which means "complete"- and it mainly targets FGM and that every female is born complete and perfect and that FGM is taking parts of her body away as oppose to it adding value to her
We LOVE the سليمة campaign, it has saved many girls from FGM and was vital in making this practice outlawed. I am proud of Sudanese women (and men) who have worked tirelessly to educate and campaign against this ans forge a better future for women in Sudan! 🇸🇩❤️
Omg you were so lucky. Good luck on the campaign. I feel sick just thinking about it. I have a little girl and I'd die if someone hurt her. I can't believe that own parents allow this.
😪😪😪😪😪
I helped 2 little girls in Ireland one was in my daughters class
@@Bargaingirlforlife they just don't know any better but most with education will see the truth , they often get pressure from family member's its very sad and needs to stop years ago..
This is barbaric abuse of children. Well done for speaking out and bringing awareness.
A form of castration
Since you edited your comment. I changed my mine too .
Why?????
She survived but many dont.
Imagine this
Young probably not legally old enough to marry girl who has undergone from level 4 married to a man who is most likely almost same age as her father. On her wedding night an area of her body that is meant to have an opening to allow natural penetration has been reduced to an opening perhaps size of butter bean then a full grown adult male with his fully erect penis forced entry through this small open area. Think of the pain the tearing the blood and lasting trauma.
If she's lucky the mother in law may have cut her slightly bigger area or she may have full area reopened and linking rings inserted so her husband can open her for intercourse then once finished will have most lis mother replace them.
Who wants to save this molestation. It may sound extreme to westernized minds who practice removal of Clint but full from still happens and girls not grown women die
@@enddaoccupation ???
What about the fact that Jews have been circumcising males since before the birth of Christ? Do you think they had anaesthesia over a thousand years ago?
Obviously this is barbaric (and on a completely different level) because in some cases they completely remove a women's ability to feel sexual pleasure from their clitoris and/or vulva (like the woman in the video stated). At least with male circumcision they still have nerve endings that can be stimulated. Of course there are women that can climax from penetration, but that's not the majority, or the point. And the clit has way more nerve endings than a penis.
Often, FGM is done with dull, if not rusty, unsanitised blades. So there is a high probability of infection or problems later on. In some communities in Africa they actually sew a women's vagina closed, leaving only a tiny little gap for period blood to leak through. This is so her future husband will know she is 'pure'. There are even surgeries where women can have a hymen grafted, as they would be ridiculed, and become social pariahs, if it were known they had sex before marriage, or even if they had been raped, somehow they would be blamed.
Westerners are lucky to live in countries where these practices are not the social norm yet it still happens in places like the UK and Europe behind closed doors among certain communities. It's sad that women and men (or should I say girls and boys) are still oppressed in this day and age. I watched a sad documentary about the voodoo practices in Africa where they kill boys for their gentalia to use in black magic. It's crazy, like I said, that this still happens! Thankfully there are caring people out there going from village to village and educating the locals about these practices and why they are inhumane and unnecessary. This woman has a lot of courage to come out and speak about her experiences but by doing so, she is raising awareness; as much as it upsetting or disturbing to talk about, it needs to be said.
Is anyone else really disgusted by the phrase about being welcomed to womanhood at the age of 4 or 5 🤮 What the hell is wrong with people.
That is what religion does to a man.
@@Kandypops FGM has nothing to do with religion. Please do more research.
@@Kandypops Both MGM and FGM are almost always motivated by the mother.
@@DAndyLordmaybe they meant man by human idk
@@0mashartit's partly religoius but more because it is done since generations and they keep on going whit that practise because they are litterally stuck in that tradition. Now more and more women and girls fight against it because due to infections and blood loss there are girls who die or suffer through their whole life.
I had friends, girls from the african country in my elementary school, the familly came to europe because they don't wanted that their 3 girls pass through this. But sadly not every girl is so happy
The fact that this still happens is absolutely soul shattering
watch the movie Green Inferno
@@samanttha we vote yes for this?
"Soul shattering".... unusual turn of phrase....not possible.
@@samanttha can you explain??
It makes me wonder why male circumcision is so widely accepted.
My Somalian friend got type 4 done to her. When she was a little girl. A man was holding her down, while a lady did the circumcision, no anesthesia was used. She said that her body part was thrown on a rock. She got so mad, that she ran off from home at that very young age to her grandmother's, which was very far away. Her grandmother was so upset about it and refused to return her to her mother and raised her instead. She had to get surgery to "fix" herself down there. Today, she is married with 2 sons and thriving.
Wow that's so amazing. I'm Somali and there are so many Somali girls and women who went through this.
interesting that the grandmother didnt approve, an even older generation
Heartbreaking. And the fact that the grandmother didn't believe in this practice really goes to show , it's not only passed down it's just what someone can be taught at any point in there lifetime. Very scary to see that this practice can still go on to this day.
@@Cici_mimi Somalia sudan or Africa is the reality . Internet writer
This story makes me happy!
She is far more understanding and forgiving of her family than I would be.
They all
Went through it it they thought it was normal
She doesn't know how it feels so she is able to forgive. She has a big heart.
when you're abused by your family, they convince you to believe they did what's best for you. She unfortunately has mixed feelings bc of that.
Because it happened when she was very young she managed to forget a lot of it..but any mother who let that happened to her child is guilty.. Not feeling anger is another way they took her spirit.
@@veronabarberini3942 anger helps you refuse abuse and protect yourself but afterwards you need to cleanse anger so you can control your emotions and not get too much anger and not get too much fear to be able to not lose your soul and mind and spirit because of anger fear depression that can become so severe that it can become psychotic dépression meaning you lose all logical thoughts and overtime if you don't hear it you lose all ways to survive because logical thought abilitu and good emotions are your strongest survival tools
It's another way to control women. Just like "virginity checks", there's absolutely no logical reason why any of this should be done.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this! Thank you for speaking out.
oh my Lord, how do they perform a virginity check?
@@alondranelson3812 you don’t wanna know
@@arny625 Jesus, society is filled with sick manipulative controlling pedophiles that hide behind their disgusting traditions. I feel sick hearing about this, i am so sorry what so many young girls go through; it breaks my heart
@@alondranelson3812 why just girls… boys and transgender individuals suffer as well and less known because their scared because “boys/men don’t suffer creepy people”
@@arny625 Awe no absolutely not only girls! I know everyone suffers at that hands of these sick psychos. I only mentioned girls because this story was about female genital mutilation, and that's where my mind was. Please forgive my lack of empathy
I knew a woman who gave birth at home about five years ago. Her husband was a soldier and he was away. His mother was present during the birth and saw that her 24yo daughter in law wasn't circumcised. The baby was delivered safely. But the next day the MIL called the local cutter and a bunch of other women to hold down the new mother and cut off her labia and the tip of her clitoris. She didn't last for two hours and died of shock and blood loss. It was heartbreaking to hear. The husband came home to a dead wife and motherless son. He immediately arrested his mother for murder. FGM is a capital crime in Ethiopia but these old timers still do it. In fact this happened in a town two hours away from the capital city. smh
My gosh. May she rest in peace.
It's crazy how far some people will go for 'culture' or for their 'belief' and it's sad they don't see the imorality and wrongness because they have fallen so deep into what they think is right. I almost went through type one but fortunately my mom was opposed to it.
That’s fucking insane. The mother in law should be in jail for life
Wtf
I’m amazed that someone would think they had control over another person‘s genitals like that, I am reading so many things in the comments that are utterly despicable.
@@Connect_with_Yourself I am so sorry that happened to you. You are a strong survivor
I’m Ethiopian and literally every female family member who is even slightly older than me has been circumcised… my parents were educated on the effects so they elected not to have me circumstance. Sharing stories and information like this is so vital to end this horrifying practice.
I'm somali and I've always been too scared to ask my mom if it was done to her... I just know my aunt definitely had it done... it's terrifying
Your parents are brave and wonderful people ❤️
@@Jesterisim mama it’s not a circumstance
THEY WORSHIP SATAN..
I am so glad your parents saved you from undergoing this barbaric practice.
I understand why she makes excuses for her family - because she still loves them and feels for them, for the pain they endured as well. But I still think she's owed an apology and I still think her family is to be held responsible. They knew from their own experience how painful it is and still didn't give her any pain relief medication. They knew that it's illegal in Europe, so they traveled elsewhere. They knew how it affected themselves, their psyche, their sexuality, their health - they still actively made the decision to do this to her. No. You have every right to be angry and to want an apoplogy.
Yes, she owes an apology. NO young girl or any female should be in that pain and torture.
@Ian SacksThe negative effects of FGM are well known. It's like saying that torture doesn't affect people's subsequent psyche, sexuality and health. Stop trying to defend the indefensible. Your comment makes me wonder what you have done to your children.
She chose to embrace her family and to stop the practice from being done to future generations. Getting an apology may provide an ounce of relief but that’s nothing compared to embracing previous generations while stopping the practice for future generations. Make sure you get what you want but remember that others may not want the same for themselves.
The reason behind it is because even the women in her family who did it to her are victims of their culture. I know it’s hard to see that especially when you don’t come from that culture but I know what brainwashing is like. It’s not something you go against. It’s sad. Barbaric. Horrible. But they are all victims of the horrible culture that made that a thing.
I think that yes, they are responsible for this, but it's not like all people whose parents have done some harm to them stop loving their parents or feeling compassionate towards them, especially when their behaviour roots from some bigger picture thing like abusive rituals that are parts of some cultures. Of course, some people don't forgive and I think we have the right not to forgive certain things. But some do, and actually I think it's good for them.
I don’t care what culture you are or where you’re from, messing with a child’s genitalia or reproductive parts is abuse! The adults that make these decisions belong in prison.
I was born in the USA and male circumcision is a standard part of our culture regardless of religion. My first son was circumcised as was my husband. Then we moved to the UK, and I learned that male circumcision was not standard there. For the first time, I realized that we had a choice. I did months and months of research before my second son was born. I read medical articles that said circumcised males had fewer infections. Then I saw other medical articles that said circumcised males had more infections! I saw cultural articles that said circumcised males had greater pleasure during sex, and other cultural articles that said uncircumcised males had greater pleasure during sex. I was an extremely difficult decision, but in the end I decided to circumcise him as well for two reasons. First, men who are circumcised in the teen years or in adulthood have a lot more pain and difficulty healing. So if they are going to get circumcised, the first week of life is the best time because the body heals so quickly. Second, I didn't want him to feel self-conscious about looking different from all the males in his family. There were uncircumcised males who expressed this feeling growing up amongst circumcised males and choose to get circumcised.
I have talked to both of my sons about this now that they are teenagers, and they are both very glad that I had them circumcised. They also don't feel any hesitation about circumcising their own sons. What my research revealed, and what their experience confirms, is that FGM is very different. Male circumcision produces an appearance that many males prefer and does not seem to hinder sexual pleasure, actually many males says it increases it. However, I do recognize how difficult of a decision is what to make for another person's body. I felt better when I did a lot of research. I didn't just do it because my culture said to.
@anotheridealist4852 that is 100% a different thing, the child is fresh out-of the womb and it aids in reproductive health and hygiene
@hrongd seriously that is not same in any way
@@hrongd circumcision does not affect reproductive health at all and what health benefits do exist are fairly marginal. But it isn't the same thing anyway since many young girls are old enough to remember and rarely sedated and it removes the pleasure organ entirely.
I wish someone would tell this to the woke folk who allow their children to have gender surgery.
"it's our culture" or " people have been doing it for hundreds of years and our ancestors did it " aren't excuses for violence. People need to hear these types of stories because ignorance is not bliss. This girl is so strong !
As a Muslim person, this is a HUGE sin
@@cyrinekhamassi6578 don’t Muslims do the same to male children ?
Americans, Koreans, Israelis:
I agree. Old-world ideologies get phased out with time because people come to know better as society becomes more well-informed.
@@cyrinekhamassi6578 is tribal marks a skin not the huge ones the tiny ones?
This absolutely enrages me. So unfair to all the girls that they are mutilated and then made to feel ashamed to even bring it up.
What about all the boys it is not different for them all circumcision should be banned it is abuse
@Angels_From_Africa yea but men or boys go to doctors and actual get better treatment
@@poopypuffyfruity6667 What? Are you really serious? Such hypocrisy is disappointing. how can you get better treatment after you have already been mutilated?
@matt p did i say on females? christianity is different i was talking abt christianity. It is a choice wether u get it ur good since tht u would hardly get sexual infections and other stuff tht hapens down there unlike most but u do have a choice and no they dnt just cut it out while ur awake well some do but u get better treatment.
@Angels_From_Africa circumcision has actual health benefits, fgm is done to control women’s sexuality. You can’t compare the two
Mutilating your child is not just something that 'happens', I would not be able to forgive my mom if she did it to me. Doesn't matter if she went through it as well, almost makes it worse in my eyes. "Oh I went through this horrible thing, so you also have to"
I'm so glad this generation has the strength to break the cycle and be open about it
Same here, I’d have to disown everyone involved
It's not meant to be malicious. You have to acknowledge the fact that these women were brought up their entire lives with everyone they knew, every influence they encountered telling them this is right and normal and good. It's only when one person manages to break through their cultural beliefs and look at the practice objectively that they begin to see that it may not be right.
I wouldn't hold them accountable, they did the best they could with the information they were given.
@@treelicker The pain alone they endured should tell them this wrong.
How do you stop in in the countries that your family is from?
But look most families in America circumcise their baby boys!!! It's barbaric. Parents were told a long time ago that it was for cleanliness sake but that's a lie! They just blindly bought the lie! The nurses or whoever does this, do not give them any pain meds or anything to numb the area. The babies convulse and their eyes roll back in their heads and they pass out, usually they only cry when they come to. You wonder why they don't let you go in with your baby? It's a money making scheme! Don't talk too me about the bible, that's over and done with. I would even venture a guess that if you were to regress men, they could remember the trauma!!!! Wake up and stop it!
Just seeing her sitting here as a child is so heartbreaking. I cannot imagine the amount of pain these children endure. It breaks my heart. So horrendous.
lets call it what it is. it is NOT circumcision. It is castration. The inability to experience sexual pleasure. Totally disgusting.
Castration is preventing someone from having children. This does not do that. It is total or partial removal of the prepuce which is circumcision.
The inability
Not castration, either. The equivalent would be to cut off a boys penis with no anesthesia and see the skin together, leaving a tiny opening for urine to pass. No painkillers afterwards, either.
They cut out the clit? Holy god thats scary as fk
That's not castration, it's a removal of a wanted body part but castration is the removal of the gonads
I was born in Sudan in 1985 as a refugee. This happened to me. Although I was only maybe 5 at the time, I still remember the pain and horror. No sedation. I had passed out . All I remember is waking up exhausted from crying and pain. I couldn’t move because I was tied up to the bed, both arms and legs. I looked over to the bed next to me to find my sister had also been tied up. No one in my family talks about it. I actually thought it was a dream. I mentioned it innocently to my mother when I got older just to confirm it wasn’t a dream, she was shocked I remember because I was so young. My sister who was older also remembers.
This is so sad and it Is not right..im so sorry for you from the heart. ..hope you find peace...
Awww. I hope she knew how traumatizing it was for you
@@riri5pink I’ve only brought it up once to her. She has no clue. She didn’t think I would remember. I think she truly believed she was doing the right thing.
My prayers are with you sister..i cannot imagine what that must have been like as a child
My prayers are with you sister..i cannot imagine what that must have been like as a child
I worked in an ER as a tech where I was told to place a urine catheter in an older female patient. I went back to the nurse confused. I told the nurse there was no way I could put a catheter in this patient. Something was wrong. All there was, was a little hole. It didn't look right at all. The nurse told me what must have happened to her. My heart sank for this poor lady.
So what what was done with the woman?
@@sarcasticallyrearranged I think they’re referring to 4.09 ; they sew up the…anatomy and leave a hole to pee
@@tiffy9090 i think they're asking how did they end up placing the catheter on the patient
What they don't tell is women being subjected to being cut open to accommodate the wedding nite then sewn back up, then cut open to deliver the child. Over and over again.
@@melodyclark4347 That is horrifying!😡
I’m also sudanese and unfortunately, this horrifying cultural “ritual” thing was nearly done to myself as well. My mom wasn’t like the other Sudanese mothers and she strictly refused their bribes to get me and my sister (both of us are female) to do it. It’s scary, there’s no painkillers, nothing at all. All to remain “pure” for a husband but to this extent?
@@lou-ns6id I agree. Its disgusting. I really feel for all the victims.
It jut makes no sense.
It was basically a way so the girls are unattractive down there.and men would not rape them
@@lou-ns6id I think it's fine young so they don't renege like for men but they're still oboe enough to treatment so I don't get it
They tried bribes?! Sickening I’m so glad you narrowly escaped
'Doing what has always been done' is a choice. They made a choice to keep the abuse going, knowing it would cause harm. This is no excuse. Thank you speaking out for breaking the chain. You are amazing.
@@najay6882 don't be so stupid didn't know it was wrong ffd
@@najay6882 what do you mean they didn't know? They remember the pain when this happened to them, they are looking at a child who is screaming while they torture her, and they surely know that some children die afterwards, from infections and blood loss. If they didn't know that that's wrong and harmful, then they have no business having a child in their custody anyway.
Let's not reduce actual human beings to animals without capacity to comprehend empathy, and distinction of right and wrong.
@@najay6882 They knew it was illigal in the host country. That should be enough, and people like them should be arrested for child abuse. Taking your child out of the country to do the crime to them doesn't make it less of a crime when they return to the host nation. She is a British citizen who should have been protected by British law. Multiculturalism is disguesting and allows ethnicity based crime.
Look into infant circumcision in America. They cut off half the skin of the penis and plenty of babies lose their frenulum, the male g-spot. Most get no pain relief because they're crying all the time anyway, so who cares? A doctor can't use general anesthetic on a newborn, but they might inject the baby with ropivacaine through a giant needle, which hurts like hell. Then they tear the foreskin off the glans since it's naturally stuck together like a fingernail to a nailbed. They put the highly sensitive foreskin in a clamp and screw it tight to crush it, then they run a blade around the clamp and tell the mother to put vaseline on this wound for a few weeks. Many boys have obvious issues and revision surgeries. Some lose their penis. Dozens die every year. Millions live the rest of their lives not knowing what their penis was supposed to feel like.
I was asked by my neighbor when was I going to have my children's ears pierced. I said I wasn't because they were not my ears to pierce. When they got of age they can make the decisions for themselves. I am 60 years old. I chose not to pierce my ears. I took care of an 80 year old lady. She was a huge social lite in her day and she didn't want her ears pierce her parents did it to her when she was 3 years old. Vaginal mutilation is HORRIBLE!!!! Any mutilation to children is horrible.
Right of passage into “woman hood” yet they removed part of her woman hood. Ironic.
That is child abuse. She was 4 or 5 and called that as “coming of age”.
My heart goes out to her. I’m so pleased she is talking about it and creating awareness for this.
Her culture is British and she said it’s “cultural norms”.
Exactly! Women are abused and raped all over the world as a child and they say it is ok.
The cultural norm wasn't British it was being Sudanese
and liberals say all cultures are equal 😂😂😂😂😂
@@MizTheDonGargon No all "people" are equal. All cultures have beliefs and practices that are horrifying. Stop trying to be funny dude
@@TiffLane except some have wayyyy more then others.
Depriving women from sexual pleasure sounds like the most infuriating and disgusting thing to me. I don't think I'll ever look at my parents the same way or with the same love ever if they had done that to me. Never. Imagine humans taking away something from you that God gave you. I can only imagine how gods going to avenge these people.
But depriving it to men is okay?
how are men deprived from sexual pleasure?
@@jt-ok6sp removing the clitoris it like removing the entire head of the penis. I agree circumcision on men is wrong but they aren't comparable and you know it.
@@jt-ok6sp who is depriving men ?
@@jt-ok6sp men don't have the whole tip of their penis cut off.
I am a recently retired anaesthetic nurse in Australia. I am also South African. When the Sudanese people started coming to Australia, I wondered when I would see any woman or girl coming for surgery and we would see evidence of this. A lady from Sierra Leone came for surgery one day. We anaesthetised her and then I prepared for the catheterisation. Oh my goodness! I have seen many things in my 48 years of nursing, but I was visibly shocked to see the female genitalia so mutilated. I had seen movies, read about it but nothing prepared me for that. In South Africa we don’t do this. Firstly there was just an absence of the structure and secondly there was an unusual pink scarring against the dark skin. I think everyone in that room, more especially the female staff felt such shock and sympathy for that patient and for every child where this barbaric practice is forced upon.
What a privilege to hear this story. Literally crying right now. This woman is a generational healer. What courage 😢
Amen
What in the world is a generational healer ? Are we just making up words now
@Ian Sacks You have probably never been abused to say what you did. Blocking the abuse out and especially the horrid pain she went through is a way of handling something you can't understand at 4 or 5. And she had no idea it was wrong or that it didn't happen to everyone.
@@slypork5030 Her Mother didn't think it was wrong, nor her cousins or Aunts. It happened to everyone. And notice, they had to go back to their 3rd world country to do it.
@Ian Sacks - Evidenced by your psychopathic ‘reasoning’ skills, your claimed former abuse absolutely IS your problem (as well as the problem of all who have the misfortune to interact with you in life) unless/until you acknowledge the abuse and begin working to unbury and heal the trauma. Until that time, you will continue to attempt to illogically lash out and hope to cause pain in others to deal with your unacknowledged trauma.
Victims can also be abusers. The fact that her family, the women, went through it and also subjected their daughters does not make her trauma any lesser. They continued this barbaric ritual knowing the hurt it would cause.
That's what she said in the video...that it's their "culture".
@@bostongirlsandy she's traumatized to the point of making excuses up for her abusers.
@@bostongirlsandy That's the weird part. It's their culture so it's supposed to be so normal, but they never told her what they were going to do, and never even explained anything afterward until she brought it up herself. Perhaps it's because they live in the UK and they know it's illegal.
@@legendaryfails7529 wait until you learn how many men in the US are circumcised.
@@Nicole-zy4vb that's not the same thing...they don't cut off the entire head of the genitals for men. Men can still feel pleasure through penetration. Cutting off the clitoris of women to impede sexual gratification is barbaric, it makes them only a tool for birthing. You should read more about fgm and learn because it's not the same as men getting circumcised.
It didn't "occur" to you or your families, it didn't "just happen"....
It was DONE to you before you were old enough to say NO.
I am so sorry....
You are beautiful. Thanks for speaking up and out about this horrific practice!
This is how language is used to change our stories and disguise the truth. Using the passive, rather than active voice in retelling a trauma. Not, "My parents did this", but "It occurred to me". It removes the abuser from the story, and places the responsibility on "culture" or an "accident of fate" or other lie. We need to learn how to tell our stories truthfully - a person committed this act and is responsible for it and the consequences.
That was my first thought: it didn't just "happen". People who love her arranged for it, paid for it, and celebrated it. The other comment is absolutely right that using the passive voice allows for absolution of the adults who were a party to it.
Clitoral stimulation and orgasm is a wondetful experience. It's awful that people equate that experience with being 'unclean.' So sad.
They don't want women to enjoy sex. It's only for men to enjoy sex in the cultures that do it. The women are there to please them. It is a very horrible thing for any reason to do it.
clitoral stimulation is the only way women orgasm. any orgasm that is vaginal is because the clitoris is being stimulated in some way.
It's Not only that. They just feel excruciating pain any time they have sexual intercourse Not to mention, constant infections or painful deliveries (more than its already for a woman Who wasn't mutilated)
Humans are literally the only (if not one of the only) species that has these pleasure centres JUST FOR PLEASURE and not for childbirth, the fact that people have been deprived of that even though this is literally the way nature intended for us to be is sad.
I don't understand how any kind of religion can go against nature and say that this is a good thing.
@@Nanancay I know it's not the only species. The thing is they damage Girls and women beyond that: if a woman can't feel pleasure, has constant infections and are subdued to suffer only pain in sexual intercourse, urinate and having her period...they just expect they acting as Carriers with Not autonomy or rights about their own bodies it's like their bodies doesn't belong to them and they are punished for born with a vagina. Why You call out on me? Im against this barbaric and cruel practice as much as You.
I studied FGM in college over 30 years ago. It's sad and horrific and it's still happening. But I often wonder who sat around thinking, "this is a good idea let's do this to children". Just sick. Makes me furious.
Is because the men hate women in those countries.
They abuse them everyday and keep them as there pets.
If a women is to ever speak up she will be harmed and beaten.
Probably a MAN
Did you ever heal, like does it completely take away your pleasure ?
@@keishaalison7171 I think you would have to ask her to kniw her experience, but from what I studied, many of these girls grow to be women and experience pain when trying to be intimate. It's terrible and sad.
@@keishaalison7171 they feel very little to no pleasure at all
Not only generational trauma, this is pure misogyny.
So many women already don’t experience equality or even pleasure in the bedroom and this just makes it so much worse💔
Casually forgetting her male relative of the same age had to do this too
@@dbzcupcake it’s literally done to women so they can’t feel sexual pleasure or as much of it, so that they stay “pure”.
Do women not understand a circumcised penis isn’t what someone was born with. And it’s a very small possibility it was for medical purposes. Male babies get their for skin chopped off.
Y’all seem so mad when you see it happening to you, but when happening to others y’all don’t care enough to even notice. 🤦♂️ “misogyny” seriously?!🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
@@dbzcupcake why is she casually forgetting that. shes talking about the girl. That doesn't mean she forgot about the boy. 🙄
Such an important topic still affecting girls and women in many areas of the world. Thank you for speaking out, best of luck for you in your healing process 🙏🏻
imagine this except multiplied by tens of millions each year and apply it to modern civilized countries. Imagine the OUTRAGE. This is exactly how males also usually discover they had their genitals mutilated, yet no one's going to be making a video about it, because no one seems to care.
@@CircmcisionIsChi1dAbus3 agreed that mutilation is wrong for any child. However FGM is much more harmful than MGM. MGM isn’t as commonplace in the U.K. as it is in the US thankfully
@@WickedJinx harm is relative. I'd consider a practice largely common place around the world and largely rationalized to be a fuck ton more harmful than a practice universally condemned as a crime against woman. You need to go to third world countries to find people openly defending it but you cant throw a stone in any direction without finding someone trying to rationalize Male circumcision. Question, how many circumcised woman do you know? Now how many circumcised men? Enough said. Harm isnt based on physical damage alone, common varieties of female circumcision actually involve removing less tissue than Male circumcision does OR none at all. The forms of FGM that are often decried are usually the rarest most extreme forms that are not common place. A lot of varieties involve simply pricking the genitals with a needle. I dont like pandering to the idea that they're difference. It's an ethical discussion. Which is worse, kicking a baby in the face of punching it in the face? It doesnt really matter it's a horrible thing either way so how about we stop them both and pay attention to the one people are actually doing in our own countries?
@@fritnat why are you bombarding this thread with multiple seperate comments? You sound angry and unstable and nobody is going to listen to you
That ain’t healing
As a Sudanese woman who was born in America, I can definitely say that I’m so privileged to have never experienced that. I know some girls, even if they were born outside of Sudan, they get taken on those family trips for those reasons and it’s beyond disheartening to even fathom that my mother, aunts, female cousins and grandmothers have been through such a traumatic experience. Even though it’s criminalized, it’s still practiced. And many countries especially in Africa still do this.
I can’t imagine a grown woman going through that, let alone a young child. Her parents should be prosecuted.
If you are going to prosecute one family members you will have to prosecute an entire generation. We as a people of different generations have a voice. We just didn't know what direction to use it. You are threated as a young person that if you spoke about out family suffers and if you make it a normal occurrence then no one will talk. I'm glad she and the family members spoke out to end this painful abuse.
@Ian Sacks Nope.
Then everyone who circumcised boys should also be prosecuted ... Which is at least half the population of the earth. It should be made illegal yes, and offer help to survivors
@Ian Sacks I think you have your wires crossed with me. I was not the one saying parents should be prosecute. Obviously you are unable to tell the difference from one reply to another. For one I was saying if you punished one all must be punished and that's not possible when all are not the ones doing the damage. Some are the victims of the culture. I was saying to continue to speak out against such things. And if you really knew what you were talking about you would have listen to the video which she said some cultures are banning the practice. Do learn to read.
@Ian Sacks - Abuse, torture, and mutilation of children is very much MY BUSINESS!
the fourth type of fgm is full mutilation and the man still expects sexual relations and then childbirth. it causes so much pain to the woman and constant infections and urinary infections, which can eventually lead to death from kidney problems, because they only leave a very small hole there. it is scary
👀
Some real bull, I can understand the first two multalations , but to cut everything off is control and madness, barbaric demonics
Humiliation ritual unnecessary
How terrible 😟
No god would sanction this
@@fritnat Birth rate probably shows that the wife is willing to just lie there and take it on a regular basis. Because without a clitoris she doesn’t know what’s she’s actually missing out on & so won’t experience sexual frustration from a lack of female orgasm after arousal, because she’s simply *not able* to become aroused in the first place! So her only purpose for allowing this non pleasurable sexual act is children!
Not being able to fully empty the bladder & closing up the hole that allows vaginal mucus to escape allows bacteria to build up there & is known to lead to kidney infections from cystitis etc.
If anybody who suffered FGM feels a single ounce of shame, please know that this cultural trauma is 0.0000000000000000000% your fault. What happened to you does NOT diminish your worth as a person; you are a survivor, just as Sarah was saying. Every single one of you who speaks out against this nightmarish practice, despite how hard it must be, you are heroes.
Agreed 💯
The regret is that you will never experience what God created you to experience, it is heartwrenching.
When I lived in Saudi Arabia I had an Eritrean friend who had her INFANT daughter get FGM'ed. Myself and another friend tried to convince her not to do this, to no avail. She said her daughter would not be considered worthy to marry if she was not circumcised! The baby got a terrible infection (no duh!) and had to be hospitalized for 2 weeks with antibiotics dripped into her! It is totally a male control method and has absolutely no value or bearing on a woman's integrity! Terribly barbaric!
I don’t see how you continued to be her friend after that. Poor little baby.
I'm sorry but not sorry to say that THESE MFS GOT A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FREALS
You were in saudiwhat year?
Wow. Imagine being more concerned about your daughter's future worth to a man than about her physical and future mental health.
I would not be friends with a person who tortures and mutilates babies. Sick
I have to wonder what person of influence one day said, " let's mutilate our children so they feel no sexual desire" and the rest followed suit. I have heard many stories of extreme impoverished little girls who had never had a toy would be told they would get a doll. Walk many miles, get the procedure done then made to walk 10 miles home right afterwards , bleeding without a doll. The pain is unimaginable, not only physical but the pain of betrayal.
_"with regard to circumcision, one of the reasons for it is, in my opinion, the wish to bring about a decrease in sexual intercourse and a weakening of the organ in question, so that this activity be diminished and the organ be in as quiet a state as possible."_
- Moses Maimonides, The Guide for the Perplexed, translated by Shlomo Pines. (University of Chicago, 1963)
Originally written ca. 1190.
Part III, Chapter 49, Page 609
That is awful and pure evil!
Men’s beliefs.
@@quota3734 Grown ass women take their newborns to get sexually altered to suit their personal tastes in America, Israel, Korea, et al, every few minutes.
What's the point of life if you can't even have normal compassionate sex, its a normal and healthey act for bearing children people really need to stop looking at it as a sin
Stop calling it circumcision. It’s not. It’s genital mutilation. This dialogue in the comment section is absurd.
Exactly what they are pushing on kids in the west.
@@galinpaskalev6262 i agree with you
@@galinpaskalev6262 Ugh, this is what happens all the time. Women come forward talking about stuff and it’s instantly “but men this” “but men that”. The reason male ‘circumcision’ isn’t ‘dealt with’ is because men aren’t talking about it. It’s the situation with male sexual assault all over again:
Men need to talk about their own problems instead of only bringing them up when women are talking about theirs. Men matter and their experiences matter, but the only time men bring their problems up, is when women are talking about their problems.
Why don’t you, if you’re a man, start talking about mgm instead of blaming everyone else for not talking about it?
@@KamoreeLove cj said that because Levi snow was down playing woman issue.
@@KamoreeLove so I do not see anything wrong that cj said because men majority of the time do not talk about there issue unless a woman does and when men do that, it down play woman issue, it make woman issue seems deficient😮💨
This made me cry. It makes so sad to think that there are still kids out there being put through this
The tears streamed for me as well. My daughter (while in high school) worked with an NGO regarding this issue. The beauty is that this woman did not blame but sought to educate others. Bless her heart.
Plenty of these women don't see it as mutilation because they don't have terrible complications, same as plenty of circumcised American men. So you should bring that same outrage energy to America, Israel, Korea, et al, if you want to be taken seriously by these FGM countries.
@@VIEWITIS there are plenty of complications because of these surgeries. unsterile, and completely taking away someone's ability to feel pleasure in some cases. How is that their right?
@@sheridanmcavoy3817 Did you see my other comment in this thread?
I was born in (and still live in) the U.S., but my family is from Malaysia. When I was about 3-4 years old, my mom sent me to Malaysia to live with my grandmother for 1 year. I remember a woman coming to the house, and performing a short, painful procedure on my genitals, but I had no idea what was happening. When I got older, I realized that I was a victim of FGM. I think the woman removed my clitoral hood, as well as some of my inner labia. It's definitely traumatizing when I think too much about it. This barbaric practice still happens in many countries, and needs to be put to an end.
My god, I’m so sorry you went through that. You are so strong. That’s really scary to think about; I hope you are in a good place right now and have access to lots of support. Much love, ❤️❤️❤️
@@sepiajoy2871 thank you!
Does anyone who goes through this trauma lose clitoral sensitivity? this is very serious, our
So sorry this happened to you. I hope you are OK now, emotionally.
@@kleinergrashupfer did you learn that? I am wondering too
My mom had this done to her. It's really messed up. She's okay now, and would never in a million years have allowed my sister or I to undergo something like that. Thank goodness.
do people who go through this feel pleasure in the clitoris? sorry if it's a very invasive question, but does it deprive the person of feeling? Do you have any surgery or something to reverse?
Is she from somalia
This is not circumcision. This is assault.
My heart breaks for these girls.
Circumcision is assault
Same shit
Genital cutting on someone who can't consent IS assault.
What a shame how awful, why would her mum put her through this if it happened to her, I'm heartbroken. This child abuse needs to stop. God bless this lovely girl.
Did you watch the video? She literally addresses it.
Instead of blaming another victim/survivor, maybe think more it’s been entrenched in how the mum was brought up. Many people who’ve tried to talk to family like “why did you do this to me” get completely stone walled anyways, at least this mum could discuss it with her.
Your comment is abuse and stupid
Her mother didn’t know any different
@@tacocatt6808 I still blame the parents. That’s like saying let’s not blame the parents who abuse their kids verbal or physical bc that’s what happened to them too. Just bc you were a victim doesn’t mean you’re not an abuser when you do what’s been done to you
@@NAprincess324 fr
I love my Eritrean grandmother, but she tried to do this to me when I was too young to remember. My mom, who had Type1 done to her, was like HELL NO!
I remember reading a book by Waris Dirie a long time ago, she went through the level 4 mutilation in Somalia. It is barbaric and cruel, and I don't care about being culturally sensitive. I could never allow that to happen to my child. I was a cultural anthropology major and spent a lot of time thinking about this (as well as other practices in certain cultures such as Papua New Guinea) and concluded that I believe in a universal morality and certain things are just wrong.
there’s also a movie about waris called desert flower
You can't say you wouldn't do this if you were part of the culture. You can only say you wouldn't do it cause you are in a position of privilege. And like she said she didn't see anything wrong with it until she was 17. What happened was made to seem normal therefore there was nothing for her to question.
@@nikolnolastname4473 There are countless examples of women and men within a culture that did this and fought against it. She thought it was normal because she was a child and her brain wasn’t developed. I was talking about the adults. The idea that your brain can’t think beyond your own cultural norms is ridiculous. Many knew it was wrong but were too afraid to speak up. It would require courage for sure, but yes, I would refuse no matter the consequences.
@@Athena124 I hear you but there have been many mothers that did not allow this to happen to their children but ther husband or family went behind their back to get the procedure done. You also have women that have gotten it done because no one wants to marry an "unclean" woman.
What you are saying comes from a place of privilege because you sont face the same reality as these people.
@@nikolnolastname4473 As I said in original post, I studied this in college and I’ve independently read 3 books of women’s personal experience with it. I am more than aware of all the scenarios that have or could have played out, if a nonconforming choice was made. I can tell you wanted to apply the word privilege somewhere but it doesn’t really fit here. You always have a choice of what you are willing to do or not do. As a mother I would refuse. Obviously, there are scenarios of a decision being overridden, but that is not the same. The woman in this video seems relatively young and it is unfortunate that with so much effort made by the brave women before her, that fought hard to abolish this mutilation, weren’t able to save her.
I literally wanted to jump into the screen at the sight of you crying and help you! This is barbaric and I'm glad you survived. I cannot imagine the horror, I cannot imagine a parent putting their child through this as a right of passage just because it's tradition. I feel utterly horrified that it was accepted and became norm to do this in any culture.
It is truly awful and barbaric, even sick tbh.
And to think it is still happening yesterday today and likely tomorrow to young girls and women is horrifying, often done in an unsanitary environment with " make do " knives and blades from the kitchen with no local anesthetic etc, my heart goes out to all these girls
Hopefully with education this tradition will end, would be even better if government's of the countries where it goes on actually banned the whole practice, with serious penalties for those caught doing it to these poor kids.
I once saw an African girl getting it done at around early teen's, the woman who did the cutting, used a razor blade, one of those stainless steel very thin flexible ones straight from the packet, the girl screamed and screamed, and was held down with her legs pulled apart, I still can't get the whole scene out of my mind.
Afterwards the poor girl didn't look the same, took all the carefree joy from her happy persona and didn't see her smile again for the rest of the documentary.
@@fritnat
I live in the UK, and FGM has been illegal here since 1985.
How they claim that a 5year old child has entered womanhood ? In today’s climate People aren’t even allowed to define what a woman is . Anyone with 1/2 a brain can see that a crying 5 year old is not yet a woman
Its awful for the boys too. No sedation. It just seems more acceptable in the us
@@fritnat
You seem to assume a lot about me, I don't get what you're beef is ? I openly stated I think FGM is atrocious, and told you it IS illegal here in the UK, the law was put in place in I think September of 1985. You say it isn't banned in the UK, but it clearly states that it is.
And by " poor " kids I mean the unfortunate victims of this practice.
So what are you getting at ?
Any mutilation of a child's body without their CONSENT is a criminal act....END OF STORY! Anyone who condones or participates should be prosecuted.😡😡😡
No excuse
That's the problem though isn't it, the definition of "mutilation". Her family clearly didn't see it as that.
What about a child born with a deformity like an extra finger or toe, is it mutilation to remove that?
Of course I'm not defending this, but pointing out that it's not quite as easy as drawing a line in the sand
...Idk man. I dont care if you have consent. Just plain No.
@Halloween All Year Round Actually, there are times where children can consent to medical treatment without the consent of their parents on their behalves. Gillick Competence is used for this exact purpose to gauge whether or not a child can understand the significance of the treatment they are receiving. It obviously depends on the particular procedure and is carefully evaluated for benefits versus costs. Something such as FGM is not going to be deemed to be a practice which benefits the health of the patient, and for someone who does meet the criteria for Gillick Competence, they would likely be denied the procedure anyways. Something like accessing contraceptives or abortion, however, would generally be considered a much more viable treatment for a juvenile who meets the criteria for Gillick Competence.
I agree!!!
Pomeranian Warfare 🏳️⚧️ they may consent, but children aren’t serious. Think of when you were around the age of five. Did you think seriously? No, you probably just wanted to play around with friends. That is why we have parents making decisions for their children daily.
My parents hated themselves for having to hold me down while I screamed as I had to get shots after being diagnosed with diabetes. They almost couldn't do it even though it was necessary to do for me to live, because they loved and cared for me so much and didn't want to ever see me scared, sick, or in pain. It was way more traumatizing for them. I wonder how these parents justify this?
I read that mothers hate it just as much to see their girl in pain, but that they deem it necessary as she otherwise may not find a man to marry as she would be perceived as impure.
You could be shunned from society, maybe even attacked.
@@auraluna7679That’s terrible 😢
@@nightynightlayla374 It is 😔 Many cruel things are done with good intentions.
What confuses me about some countries is how they forbid some of the beautiful things about their culture such as dancing, art, music etc while wanting to uphold evil practices like FGM. It's disgusting how people use religion to justify this! I once saw a documentary about FGM in Somaliland where one of the guys who was interviewed said that their culture is more important than a woman's feelings.
Um... No,sorry as a Somali I have to tell you it's never religion,just culture they do it because they need to suppress women's sexuality.why? Because they believe that if you don't get circumcised you'll probably sleep around ,tarnish the family name blah,blah, blah. Some will try to say it's "islamic" and that " it makes you clean and good" they're liers!!
@@Layla-o9k4y I know it's a cultural thing but some ignorant people mask it as religion so they can justify and continue it. If God did not want women to have that body part he would not have created it in the first place. It has an important function!
@@danielsabr3822 that's right,thanks for understanding.
@@danielsabr3822 that function is precisely what they try to repress thru fgm because allegedly, it's a gateway to sin. Religion in all aspects is disgusting because it's a human invention and humans are inherently disgusting. And the planet continues to orbit.
@@danielsabr3822 People doing FGM for religious reasons often forget that God made sex and he made it to be pleasurable for both parties. Otherwise those parts wouldn’t be there.
This is truly one of the most unsettling and repulsive practices I've ever heard of as a woman, and it needs to go extinct. For good.
Yes, for boys and girls.
@Tuatha De Sidhe It’s not the same for males. Male circumcision can be performed on an adult without all of the horrific consequences that happens to girls/women, and it’s done for totally different reasons.
@@briancoultertbmoth3141 but it’s most commonly done on babies, who don’t know what’s going on. Male circumcision is equally wrong, unless there’s a medical need for it
@@edenstar196 It's still not equivalent to this practice. In a perfect world each person would give consent before anything was done to them. But unless the entire head of the penis was chopped off, the open wound crudely sown shut, not allowing for proper passage of urine, leading to infections and fistulas, leading to more scarring, pain and foul smells, and the male child never being able to experience sexual pleasure... It's not the same.
@@edenstar196 And leading to excruciating pain on top of the pain already endured during child birth. But I guess a male doesn't have to worry about that, huh?
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine the trauma. I’m rather disturbed that someone filmed this entire process. It doesn’t feel right and I wish that we could educate people and let them know that this “tradition” is abuse. These types of things were put in place by the patriarchy who were and still are afraid of women being sexual. Women being women.
@Ian Sacks because its true, you're part of the problem for thinking it's not. This type of culture is proof.
@Ian Sacks incel talk :/
@Ian Sacks Umm did you not listen to what the woman said in the video? She talked about how women should be pure and have no sexual desire in her culture, and are regarded in that way. Who else would place that ideal onto women?
@Ian Sacks Bro, we don't give a fuck
@Ian Sacks what is wrong with you , how can you comment that under a Video where a women is literaly mutilated to never be Able to live her sexual freedom ??! How can you be so dumb and Not connect the dots
Intergenerational abuse. It's learned and passed down. You are so strong for talking about it and bringing it to light.
Should be banned for both genders across all communities. Stop violating all children. Period.
Men can actually be circumcised for medical reasons but i agree they should be banned when they're for religious reasons
@@Chlobo134 Fair point. As long as it's a consenting older individual agreeing to a medical procedure.
@@Chlobo134 women can be mutiIated by choice when they surgically transition to male.
We aren't talking about adults who choose to get a procedure done, we're talking about children who have no say.
100%
yes definitely, it’s so unnecessary
I just can't get over it being put as a 'journey to womanhood' when this happened to her as a 4 year old baby. At that point you are about to become a child not a woman, the fact that even with the cultural beliefs surrounding sexuality (which I don't support) that someone can apply that logic to a literal toddler is astounding.
I thought it was common when i was a kid. A girl classmate of mine told me her cousin (girl) got circumsized which got me confused, then my other girl classmates told me "oh, you don't know abt it? That's weird" along those lines and they said it was to "purify" us at a very young age. They said it was painless at an earlier age like us (10 yr. Old-ish at the time). What they were saying was the type 1. When i asked my mom, i remember she had a kind of dreaded look and asked who told me those things, I don't remember what she said next and I'm thankful i get to watch this video.
Thank god i, my siblings, and cousins didn't get to experience this but it's still terrifying how it was so close that my classmates almost convinced me into doing it without my parents knowing since it'll be "purifying" me.
So good for you that you escaped from this !
Can I ask a question ? Obviously this is a culturally complicated issue but it seems some people(parents) are fine with it and others are not, are the parents that aren’t okay with it concerned about the pain or risk of injury/infection ? Or is it a circumstance where they realized it was wrong ? I’m just kinda confused cause it seems like the mind set of oh you don’t know any better so you wouldn’t question it , you know ? I also feel like western influences and norms might play in here
@@taylorreynolds3176 As someone from a culture that practices it, there are a lot of people who are against it because they think it's wrong but it's a deeply embedded cultural practice. Even when it's illegal some people still practice it. My grandfather was against it with my mom but as a man he was overruled because it's seen as a woman's practice or women's business. People might be surprised to learn that a lot of men are actually against it but the women, especially older women, are the ones who hold on to it and continue the tradition. There's definitely a lot of ignorance and lack of knowledge fueling it - ignorance about religion, the human body etc. It's also because of cultural norms that view it as purifying or a right of passage, women who don't get it are seen as not full women or something is wrong with them. I guess the ones who practice it either believe this or they're scared to be viewed as going against the norm, standing out, being viewed as doing something wrong etc. In my opinion, there's also some women who had it done to them so they're resentful and want it done to other women as well. But there is progress being made so there is hope, it just won't happen overnight.
@@viola7052 we know very well that the monster who wants to continue doing it are just angry this was taken from them and wan to inflict pain to other poor inocent kids innthe name of purity and customs
@@jjba3571 They are more focused on controlling womens' bodies and how their sexual behavior will bring them dishonor in their communities.
The fact that all the women in her family also had it done doesn't make it better, it makes it worse. They knew the damage that had been done to them, emotionally and physically, and chose to perpetuate it. Culture is not an excuse to torture.
They didn’t know the damage because it was a normal thing for them in their culture, Sarah herself even said she didn’t think about it properly until she realised not everyone goes through that
my mum worked so hard to eradicate this in kenya :( its so sad you had to go through this. I am so sorry. You are SO brave
Your mum is amazing.
It’s women like your mum who are making this world better and safer for everyone 👍🏻😊
I'm from kenya too,I'm 16 n i am so thankful for all the women,like your mum,who worked to ensure the girls of future generations are safe.I can be safe today and uncircumcised thanks to their effort.❤
That is amazing! Forever grateful to the brave campaigners across Africa that have workes tirelessly to eradicate this cultural practice
Was your mother successful?
My cousin is doing the same right now. I’m not sure where she is at present, but she’s sent back stories of being attacked and having rocks thrown at her for advocating to eradicate this practice. One man even threatened to do it to her himself. Some people are just sick.
To all the little girls that have endured this my heartfelt sympathy. Sarah, you are a star for bringing this to our attention. In no way was this any of your doing, just cultural tradition.
Would you forgive a paedophile for abusing you as a kid because it happened to them when they were a kid? The parents are awful in my opinion and shouldn't get away with it just because it happened to them.
The main reason they do that is because is so ingrain to their society they don't realise how screw up it is.
They don't think twice unless someone points it out.
@@nidohime6233 this. peedo has nothing to do with this, as this is on a different strain. One is cuturally accepted/pushed, the other is not.
What would she win by hating her parents exactly? If someone wishes not to forgive their parents, that's fine. But it is a good thing for her that she was able to forgive them.
Exactly!
Some people do forgive their abusers.
It's easier to forgive when you see them also as a victim.
I don't think you understand how normal these things in other lands are that we more developed nations see as atrocious. There's no mental concept that it is wrong for most. Nobody has taught some of these people that what they are doing is not normal. When you question it they are confused because the idea of not following certain norms has not even entered their heads
Sarah has such grace & poise; she's been able to draw strength from something so horrific & has refused to let this beat her down or hold her back. Incredible role model & advocate for women & women's rights everywhere.
I remember when this happened to me. I went on vacation at my cousin house. Some of my cousins had it done to them few days prior. They glamorized it so much so that I wanted it to happen to me. I wanted to be a woman 😂🤣😂. Without my parents permission my older cousin took me to the cutter. I experienced so much abuse that vacation, that i never wanted to go on vacation again. Now that am a mom of 3 beautiful girls, last year we went on vacation to west Africa in my country of origin, my in laws tried everything to get the kids circumcised and I refused. My husband and I totally refused to put our girls through that. Their excuses were that if we don’t do it the girls will grow up to be total sluts sleeping around. I know that’s not true in fact I have seen American women save themselves up until they find the right one. I didn’t want my girls to go through the pain of not been satisfied sexually when they get married.
Never, for one moment, EVER let any of those relatives be alone with your children. Some people are so determined to keep up barbaric practices they will do whatever they can to circumvent you.
Please, please make sure even your own husband is 100% on your side when it comes to this. Don’t let his parents try to convince him to change his mind.
@@PennyPennyPennyPennyPenny YES ‼️‼️
@@PennyPennyPennyPennyPenny he won’t do it we already talked about it. Every time my kids visit I will be with them. Am also a nurse so I told them if they do it the government will put us in jail.
@@amiejalloh2467 You still need to be vigilant. There are SO MANY stories of this happening behind the parents' backs by misguided family members, to boys and girls.
@@fritnat cuz he still has the head of his penis intact , he got the foreskin removed which is still awful. If they removed the hood of the clitoris then that would the equivalent of what a male has done when cut
I understand about it happening to the women in her family and it being a rite of passage. But this is actually a criminal act in Europe. A couple recently got sentenced to prison because of FGM in Ireland. Forgiveness is good and healthy for all but just because you were a victim of something doesn't mean it's okay to perpetuate it onto the next generation. Her parents knew enough not to get it done in the UK, but rather travel to Sudan to get it done. What is bad is bad, let's stop making excuses for bad behaviour.
Absolutely!! Ppl say blame the culture not the parents but I disagree. As parents you have control over what happens to your kids and her mom knew how painful this experience was and still allowed to to be done which is sick.
it would have been enough to be like "oh no but we can't do it in UK, poor girl won't ever enter womanhood. Anyways...". Or even pretend before their families that they got it done when they didn't.
@@tymondabrowski12 exactly just pretend if anything bc it’s not like they will ever find out and now that they live in Britain she’ll probably marry another British person
I love how she calls herself a survivor rather than a victim that's a great way to see it even with all she's been thru
There's nothing wrong with being a victim.
@@ninnyspencer4774 that's fine if that's your perspective but when people say "I'm not a victim" it implies that being a victim is a bad thing like it makes you weak. I'm an SA survivor as well and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a victim of it, it's just a descriptor. I feel like it's unnecessarily stigmatising something that shouldn't be a stigma.
She has that right. I'm also circumsized, and I agree it's the culture that's the issue, not the family. I decided not to do it on my kids and my mom and dad were like "Ok, it's your choice". The real discussion begun when explaining it was barbaric, and seeing them so honestly confused. You could see the cognitive dissonance happening in them. I did not got them to embrace my views, but they were willing to respect them. It ends with me.
Sending much love. I'm sorry you had to go through that
You made the correct decision and stood up for what you knew was right. I hope more people decide to do what you did.
I hope you do not suffer from your circumcision. I would like to encourage you to research Foregen.
Genital mutilation is the correct term sugah. Bravo to you for taking that stand when it wasn’t norm. 👏🏾
You re very brave and strong to do this, im glad your kids didnt have to experience it. Hope you are ok too
What a beautiful and honest reflection on not only the impact of her experience with FGM but also the experience of collective cultural trauma and how the healing process HAS to involve the empowering of survivors and the disruption of stigma. So grateful to Sarah for sharing this.
I have done a surgery to restore some parts...very sad! I forgave my parents because they are also victims of a very bad culture. I am glad you forgave your parents too and put a stop to this bad practice in your family. Great work! you are going to be helpful to so many families.
Your culture is not bad because it has a bad practice.
@@propogandalf some bad and some good, like every other culture. practice is what eventually becomes culture.
What were they cutting ? Vulva??
@@Sunnydanii I can’t talk about it sorry😢
I agree that her parents and family likely didn’t understand there was anything different about it. If you grew up with something you don’t think twice about it. She even said that.
Most Americans circumcise their infant boys. To me that is wrong, but I know it’s their tradition.
FGM is horrendous and disgusting child abuse. This brought me to tears.
Me too, i am speechless
She is so heartwarmingly mature about the situation. You can tell she’s so full of love and optimism. It’s a refreshing feeling to feel, even if it’s through a screen. I wish you all well
This lady should be celebrated for talking about her experience. I’m sure she will be helping many people in doing so.
Same thing happened to me ,I never really knew what was going on nobody prepared me ,I was taken in my sleep at 4 o'clock in the morning, it just happened I Screamt fighting so hard that demon of a woman almost damaged my eye 40yrs later my eye reminds me of that day I got the scar,I passed out,took long to heal,has affected me so much sexually,took my confidence away too,have never been able to speak out about it can never allow such to happen to my daughter
I am so sorry that happened to you and I'm so glad your daughter will never experience that trauma.
Its Your choice . When you don't allow your daughter to have it . It's your parents choice to give to you .
If you want to heal first learn to understand your own people cultures
@@enddaoccupation this isn’t culture. this is a barbaric practice. no parent should ever do this to their child. no parent should mutilate their child’s body if not for medical reasons.
@@enddaoccupation fuck culture it destroyed me from my childhood I have never forgiven any of them my eye's scar is a constant reminder of what they took from me
@@Kaylee-Renee thank you 😘
Parents who put their children through this sort of agony and takes their pleasure away from them belongs in jail. their uncivilized,cruel old school cultural and religious practices doesn’t belong in this day and age, I honestly can’t forgive or have empathy for these sort of people.
Why do this to women and NOT men?
@@suzygirl1843 because it’s probably men who came up with those disgusting practices, it’s the men that made rules in Islam for women which is utterly disgusting, a man should have no right to have any authority over women or anybody, except themselves. Islam is a very patriarchal, sexist, homophobic, cruel religion, filled with bigots and it’s laws doesn’t belong in this day and age. Anyhow regardless of their gender nobody deserves to be put through this disgusting practice.
It's not religious.
@@suzygirl1843 Why do this to anybody??
Same
I remember my neighbor talking to me about it. She was the same age as me and I didn’t even know what it was at the time. I asked my dad and he was so furious he told me to never go to that girl’s house again. we were I think 10.
Fast forward to the age of 16. My best friend was talking to me about wanting to do it because she thought IT WAS GOOD FOR HER, her mom was against it yet her grandmother wanted her to have it. All I can remember is the anger I felt and how much I tried to talk her out of it till she eventually decided not to do it.
Remember, abuse isn't cultural. Abuse can't be "part of your culture"
Whether it's mutilation, hitting, shaming, etc it's not okay and there's no excuse
I hope everyone involved gets major karma. They deserve prison
Well said
When almost every single person of a culture does it, is it abnormal or normal to their culture? It’s a normal cultural practice but that doesn’t make it morally acceptable. People used to do all kinds of fucked up stuff but it was a normal part of their culture and society. Abuse can be a part of one’s culture. The girl literally says it and she experienced it herself. Young people in these cultures are deciding to change because they’re realizing they want to change their culture for the better.
It is cultural..
@@miraann3997 no it's not. Abuse isn't culture. It can be a trend in certain cultures but it's not culture.
@@ElvenSailor_Main yes. It is. FGM was apart of that culture and still is even though it’s now illegal. Why argue against that? The woman in the video even said so.
I’m a new mother to a son. I’m also an expat Israeli Jew. Doing this type of thing to little boys and girls is horrific and I refused to let my mothers family force me into mutilating my perfect baby boy. Absolutely not! I’m so sorry to this woman.
Good for you standing up for your son! That is how we end these horrible traditions
I admire you, rivka. We need more people like you to stand up against this act of barbarity used towards boys and girls.
Çircumcision is NOT mutilation.
Female genetlia IS mutilation! There is no Divine /religious source for fgm. There IS Divine source for circumcision. THAT, is NOT mutilation. Even surgeons/doctors find health benefits, besides being done on the 8th day after birth, when the baby boy's nerves are less developed. The baby may cry in the 1st few seconds, but is quiet , and nursing as soon as the healing medicine n bandage are applied. FGM is barbaric, it stems from those cultures where MEN want to control the WOMEN to keep them fidel to their husbands, n not risk unwed pregnancy.
@@cookinggerson4000 Maybe in archaic times, circumcision was seen as beneficial because there was no soap and water. Soap and water have since been invented, so there is no need to cut off bits snd pieces from newborn boys.
With a name like that you didn't even have to explicitly mention you're Jewish.
How utterly barbaric. All circumcision is wrong - even new born boys - as nobody has the right to damage another person's body like that. Unless it's for medical reasons that is, which it can be for some male circumcision. But to do that to young girls is criminal.
She literally will never have an orgasm, it’s not the same as What they do to boys plus the boy practise prevents infections
Male circumcision is is almost aways medically needed. Males get curcumcized for hygiene purposes. Unless you want to peel back your sons foreskin and clean the crusty smelly shmeg....
I mean, personally I think if you want it done and it does not put you in critical harm you should have the choice to have it done, but on children?? it really is barbaric and cruel, something like that should never be done to someone when they cannot even consent to the procedure.
I don’t know how I feel about circumcision. I don’t think I could put my baby through it (had I decided to have one) but don’t think less of people that do.
This is different because she was old enough to remember. This is more than just the physical pain but the mental that she’ll have to carry with her always.
And it’s more than just “the procedure”. This would completely destroy a child’s trust towards their parents…which is by far the most damaging part.
Absolutely disgusting.
Male circumcision has a different purpose than FGM.
"You can be retraumatized by certain questions that people ask you"
That line stuck with me.
And how are people supposed to help if they have no idea what it means?
They can Google it
This genuinely broke my heart. Because I hade a friend who fled from Ethiopia to avoid being cut. So even thought I don’t know what’s it’s like, I could see the horror in her eyes when she told me her story and I genuinely feel sorry you had to go through this abuse. And therefor it’s great that you can speak up about it. So people who is born I another culture can empathize with you and so many others to hopefully raid awareness.
Thanks for reading and lots of love form Sweden to you all
I had a friend in high school who was from Ethiopia. I had no idea this was practiced there. We took an anatomy class together, I wonder if everything was okay with her during those units 🥲 I pray she and her family didnt get mutilated
I'm born in the late 50's and it still hunts me, because many of my friends suffered this ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUSLY FGM ACT performed by our mum's and grandmum's, because I was of a different cast and social level I was taken away to me dad's homeland England. Physically I was saved but the evil trauma of seeing the aftermath of this abusive stain💔 has broken me in so many places and the lack of social sexual education by the elder women is our hope by the younger generations to place
" COMPLETE END" TO ALL FORMS OF FGM NOT JUST PHYSICAL ABUSE BUT TO THE EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ABUSE🙏💯💞💕
Sorry to hear that ma'am
@@albertsadler4322 You see kind. Thank you
I’m sorry for what you have been through. I would like to ask you a couple questions for my own curiosity, if you choose not to answer I understand. What was the reason for doing this? Was it to keep the girls pure until marriage? If your friends have children or grandchildren did they prevent their children from having this done?
What country were you from?
I ask these questions to help me understand why this continues to happen to these young girls. You get answers of it being their culture, religious etc. I guess I want to know how does the mother explain this to her daughter. In this woman’s case there aren’t many questions a 5 year old would ask as compared to a 12 year old before she had it done. As an adult I would think there would be a lot of questions not to blame but to understand why. We are about the same age, I would say people didn’t question things back then like we do today or maybe we did but didn’t get answers.
@@elainehenning1387 Good day Beautiful 👑 thank you for the questions, I can only answer from my experiences and when those that have responded with its cultural they are being truthful this is never explained, also I think you may have misread my note. I hope my reply helps, this is beyond complicated and is still practiced this heinous act which has continued to harm over 200 million girls and women, there is no number on those that have died as a result of this heinous act. Please to all watch the film 2009 DESERT FLOWER
● Niether myself and any women of my family was a part of this FGM as stated because this is a cast and wealth system I am not from the village.
● No this heinous act of FGM not on me
● I'm not in communication with many of them from childhood so I do not know if their children fail victim to this heinous act
● I'm from Chennai Tamil Nadu India, Asia
● In all cases of FGM the girls are between 5 to 9 years, very rare older than that, because some may have started puberty by 10 years of age
● It is still not questioned, in most village's, many of the mum's believe this will make their daughters more valuable to their husband's as I learned when I was older to know what they went through, this was a way to keep the girl/ woman loyal when the husband traveled because she would have no desire for sexual intimacy.
@@Dr.Mahadrasjethwani_MD thank you for answering. I am glad you didn’t have to go through any of those horrific rituals. I hope that the parents of these young girls will realize the value of their child is so much more than sexual desire. If they don’t see men and women as equal human beings some of these older rituals will continue. As women are educated and work with the public, hopefully they will understand that they have choices. It may be to late for them but to stop FGM from happening to their children and grandchildren. Causing unnecessary pain and harm to children needs to end in all countries. We don’t have FGM in our country but still children are abused by their parents or others involved in their care. Take care
So sad that it's just continued on without the women deciding for themselves that it's wrong to mutilate their own children even considering that it's happened to them too.
@Ian Sacks if conditioning from birth makes it seem "normal", what do you expect?🙄
@Ian Sacks how you mean what conditioning? She herself did not know what was wrong with it until her friends told her, the same way her mother and aunts probably accepted it as norm especially as it was not something that they spoke about.
@Ian Sacks a child that is beaten repeatedly and feels pain doesn’t realize this is wrong. They know it hurts them but that is what they have always known. They think it happens to other kids until they talk to them and find out differently. Does that make it ok?
@Ian Sacks you said it didn’t bother her until someone reminded her. That is not the way it is. She thought it was normal or the same for everyone until she learned differently. My point was having a parent hurt you and cause you pain as a child you think this happens to all kids until you find out that is not true. Your parents are hurting you because of their own beliefs.
@Ian Sacks Circumcision as a cultural practice is wrong unless the person getting circumcised is consenting. Children can't consent. Even if they were asked and they said yes, they wouldn't have the true capacity to really understand that this is something that is getting taken away from them forever, and that it could very possibly negatively affect there physical health and any sort of pleasure they could have from sex later on in life.
You also mention 'women' looking forward to it during there wedding. I'm assuming you actually mean consenting adult women not literal children, so you can't really compare these two situations at all.
I don't have the words to explain how gutting this is, how insane this is. why are people allowed to do this? this was torture, she must've not remember much due to the trauma. it's chilling to know this happens daily. what could we even do to stop this? I'm at a loss
I'm extremely sorry you suffered so much pain. I really feel for you and others that have had it done. and without an anesthetic at that age is just brutal. Thank you for educating me on a topic that I've not given much thought to.
Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share your story. I found it helpful to explain how it feels and how not speaking about it created almost a hidden shame and was disempowering and oppressive to the women who’ve suffered it, but opening up a dialogue of some kind, talking about it with other women who’ve been through a similar thing and also talking to other women within the family throughout the generations and taking steps to end it and end it within the culture (as it’s now illegal in Sudan) has help you all feel empowered and have some kind of sense of freedom from oppression and hope towards a brighter future for women. Even made me a bit teary towards the end. Thank you for sharing.
Some cultural practices are so primitive and old aged you'd think everyone would have common sense by now 🙄🙄
See genital 'sex reassignment' surgery like phalloplasties for evidence of FGM but suddenly ok now its woke. No common sense now or ever.
@Jason Barnett See America and it's medicalization and boosting of male circumcision, which of course just transitioned into medicalization and boosting of female circumcision in Michigan by U.S. District Judge Bernard Friedman.
@Jason Barnett it got nothing to do with Islam. It’s a tradition that stems from ancient Egypt, weirdo.
@Jason Barnett
Lol research goes a long way. Im half sudanese and muslim. None of this is islamic. Its actually extrememly forbidden.
@@afrozzz5634 exactly
My mama was a victim of this. It occurred without my grandmother’s permission (she was a single mother in Ethiopia and would leave her with family who were the ones who took her to have this done.) When my grandmother found out she almost killed the other person, she was so enraged. My mother never trusted babysitters for us and only let certain trusted ppl watch us and I think it’s part of the reason why. It’s a disgusting practice, only with a goal of controlling women. Many women think their daughters will be unable to marry if they don’t get it. My mom made sure my sisters and I were safe from this but it’s upsetting how many 2nd gens this happens to even though we’re not even in those countries anymore. It’s still widely done back home, though not as much in the big cities but this woman is so brave for telling her story. There is so much shame surrounding FGM though the victim is not at all at fault for it .
I feel sick to my stomach watching this it’s such a evil thing to do
Props to the young woman to tell her story! You are a very brave woman
This is a good example of why we SHOULD criticize each others cultures (in a productive way, when needed). The last couple of years you cannot mention any cultures flaws or you're suddenly racist against those people. Theres a huge difference between racism/ discriminating someone, and noticing flaws/speaking up about them/ banning certain abusive practices.
I wish this lady the best, and I can't imagine the physical and mental pain she went through. Nobody deserves this kind of treatment.
Logical
Exactly!
Yes!
end MGM and FGM!
I can't imagine anyone having to suffer through this. This is one of the worst forms of torture
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DONE TO ME but there wasn't any hospitals or anybody available for it to be done and my mom persisted as all the women in her family and my father's family had has it done, but time kinda went by and i grew older so it was impossible.
Absolutely heartbreaking, had me in tears but she's so strong. My family is from Egypt and my maternal grandmother + all the women on my father's side have had this done to them. Thankfully my maternal grandfather was an educated and liberal man and refused to let it happen to my mother, and my parents didn't let it happen to me either. It still feels too close.
Does FGM happen to all faiths in Egypt?
Sarah - Such courage and strength. Opening up the dialogue is so incredibly important. It allowed for contemplation and a change.
This was honestly really hard to listen to, but I’m so glad I listened to her story. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your experience and thoughts on FMG
I'm crying to hear this. Unbelievable sick.
I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that.
I am glad you were all willing to stand up..and have your voices heard I am very happy you shared
You went into shock! The bodies way of protecting you from such high trauma. This is so sad & im sorry this happened to you!!
She was able to break the cycle. So sad that her mother and grandmother weren't able to or aware of how to do it. I honestly think these kind of ''rituals'' are always meant to keep people in check. And the whole idea of not being able to step p for yourself or do with your own life what you want to do. I think, especially in regardless of religion, this stuff should stop. This can't be a good thing.
This makes me so sad for the people who go through this. I’m so happy she’s speaking out. Thank you for sharing. You are so beautiful
Oh hell no! You were born with that for a reason damn
Also my heart goes out to anybody who has had to deal with this. I can’t imagine
I cannot imagine your mom going through that pain herself and making the choice to force her own daughters to go through the same pain. Cultural or not its an unsafe, unfair tradition that should not be happening.
With courage, love and truthfulness, you are bringing healing to your family and to so many women in your culture.
You are so brave, thank you for sharing your story and helping those less confident to talk about theirs. Sending love x