You're Doing TOO MUCH For A Man You're Dating When You See THESE 7 Signs
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
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You're Doing TOO MUCH For A Man You're Dating When You See THESE 7 Signs... In this dating advice video, I'll answer the question of what is doing too much in dating. It is very easier to find yourself doing too much for a man who doesn't yet deserve it. So take heed to these dating tips and be sure to watch the entire video so that you can experience an amazing relationship.
As a certified life coach, relationship coach, and dating coach, I want to make dating and relationships easier for you. I pray that you find this video helpful and that you will receive the relationship that is truly best for you, the perfect relationship.
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I hope you enjoyed my video: You're Doing TOO MUCH For A Man You're Dating When You See THESE 7 Signs
Watch this dating advice video next: 7 SECRET Criteria Men Use To CHOOSE A Woman
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This is extremely helpful. I always give way too much to others. Now I am enjoying the single life because I'm exhausted of taking care of a man who didn't deserve it. LOL!
Thank you🙏
Yeah, you gotta learn how to vet men good when hollerin...and early on, so you avoid the ones that's not that interested in you....but just interested in using you.
Same. I now have zero desire to invest in a man at all.
Me too 🙌🏽
SAME HERE!!!
This hit home! After 10 years of marriage i realized my husband had molded me into another person. My children and i were EXTREMELY unhappy, so we left and found ourselves happiness.
🙏
🔥
Men are perfectly ok standing by and letting you do things for them. They'll never say anything. A woman will never find the love she's looking for like this. He needs to see you put on your jacket, put on your shoes and head for the door. He needs to see that his good thing is not afraid to lose him.
Yesss!!!!
The “good thing” isn’t losing anything by walking away from a user. The user is missing out✨
We over function because we want to prove our worth to him and show why would he want to be without us? In reality, we take away the biggest attraction factor for him-him winning us! If a woman wants to cheat-proof her relationship as much as possible, wants to be confident that she knows where her man stands in the relationship and enjoy dating, she needs to let him win her! When the impulse comes up to act like a mother, practice awareness and hold back.
Which is where the pick me term derived from.
Thank you for articulating this perfectly, as I haven't been able to lol! Tried to a while back and it was word salad.
Lawd this comment. Yasssss. You need to be my accountability partner. Lol
He can know you can clean without cleaning HIS house
Absolutely
Yes! When he comes over have a clean, orderly home and he'll know.
I didn't start cooking, cleaning or doing laundry 🎉regularly for my ex's until we were in a committed relationship. They didn't even get a regular sexual relationship until we established where we were going in our relationships. Unfortunately once they got comfortable and unappreciated what I was doing, I had to let them go .
Don’t do any of that for someone you’re not married to; whether you’re a man or a woman.
@@pthesmitheven when you’re married, some, perhaps many men take things for granted. I agree that you should reserve those duties until after marriage or an agreed upon commitment. But there’s other things that need to be in place in order for couples not to take each other for granted.. it all depends on who you select.
Man, this right here!!! Sums up my life perfectly at the moment…and when a person shows you there true colors, believe them…don’t keep brushing it under the rug…listen to your intuition
Right! Don't try to repaint the man once he shows his true colors!!!
I always give too much ..too soon...and dnt get the same energy back....im single and working on myself❤thanks so my for the advice Stephen..stay blessed 🙏🙏✨
I pray things work out for you 🙏
I’m NOT playing wife to a man that has no intentions on marrying me!
Amen 🙏 Very well said!!!
We’re supposed to consult God in everything. His word says “in all thy ways acknowledge God & He shall direct thy path”
Amen 🙏
Amen 🙏
Do not have sex with a man before you are boyfriend/girlfriend. I broke my cardinal rule the other day, and gave into temptation, and when I tell you, this man had me fooled, he had me FOOLED! Switched up on me right afterwards. Used me and discarded me like a piece of trash. I’m more disappointed in myself than anything. I let myself down and I really hate that so don’t do it no matter what they’re telling you, how they’re acting, the vibe you’re getting, etc. there are snakes out there, disguised as the sweetest guy who ever ever meet.
I wrote all that way before Stephen said it at 22:18
I needed this a year ago. It's taken me that long to start separating myself from him. He's noticing but I'm realizing he's not worth it. I shouldn't have to ask for things like spending time together. Watching these videos have helped me get to this point. Ty
Same
I’ve been here a few times before & kept getting the same results until I realized that I was the common denominator that was drawn to “POTENTIAL” & building my hopes up on letdowns. Not no more…. Tapped into myself & realized that I was trying to fill a void in my life by doing for them& I wasn’t getting what I was putting out. Nope 👎…. He’s going to have to prove himself to me & whatsoever I do for him, it’s without reservations….ijs
Exactly. Salute sis! 👍
Amen to this
Same
Investments that turn into unhealthy attachments. 😔 I heard that. I sank and then jump shipped
It unfortunately happens to a lot of women
I inform men from the very beginning that I'm not domesticated. Men have never had a problem with this. Somehow I seem to find men who are used to being self sufficient and love it. They enjoy cooking and I'm the good company watching them create great meals with a glass of wine. 😂
I’m domesticated but he usually cooks when I visit him
Is this working in finding a husband though?
If he’s not asking, I’m not volunteering
This so reallll because they always say a closed mouth doesn’t get fed when you don’t ask them for certain things lol
🔥
God is most important in a relationship. He will lead you and guide you if you allow the Holy Spirit to really work in your life.
I’m in my pricesss treatment era💅, if u ain’t ready to spoil me then pls don’t come close to me❤
Intuition / gut feelings are always The Holy Spirit. Spiritual discernment is so important. We are finite human beings. We couldn't possibly know if someone is the one without God's guidance.
It's not always the Holy Spirit. Feelings are tricky that's why God tells us not to trust them. Feelings should be objective but are SUBJECTIVE. We can feel something based on our past experiences/trauma.
What you will continue to allow will eventually try to destroy you
That's what it did to me In May and June 2023
This👏🏾💯
Ladies…..we’re not going to make these men our “PROJECTS” and have these “HYPOTHESES” of what the outcome of the relationship is going to be. Naw naw….who done made that up?
We all know what coach Stephan is famous for
FACTS
FACTS and more FACTS
😊 thank you very much
I have a beautiful man that is in my life and we have both been in horrible previous relationships! We have been together for over a year and we have chosen not to be intimate and we openly discuss when we have issues with any dynamic. I love the openness and honesty. We live in different states so our schedules conflict on times but we always communicate. So grateful that we both actively listen to each other and just love being in each other's presence ❤️!
Awesome
When he needed a ride to work (he doesn't have a car) I waited 2 extra hours to start my errands and asked him if we could leave 10 minutes earlier than he wanted because I was just too hungry to wait anymore. He absolutely flipped his shhht (like usual) that I was selfish for making him leave early. He was always an entitled jerk but something in me snapped. I have absolutely refused to do anything for him since and I am just trying to get a job elsewhere to bail. I invested way too much time and effort into this relationship with the hope it would eventually get better. But, it won't. All of the signs were always there I just had lust goggles. I made a mistake and beat myself up a little but I learned an expensive time consuming lesson.
So you guys aren't together anymore?
🙏
@@joyricherson4570 If I had a 10 year old that acted like that I would ground him for a week. No video games, nothing fun and hours of chores to earn money to help fill the tank (I would even make him pump the gas and come in and pay.) With a child I would make it extremely clear that level of self absorbed and entitled will be met with lots of punishment. What am I supposed to do when a full grown dude is that ridiculous? The way he behaves is so unattractive to brutally unalived any desire for him I am not sure what else I can do. He insists on behaving like that and seems to have no idea why that's absolutely disgusting behavior. I am not his mom, Im sorry his parents never taught him but ew. How can I give my body and heart to someone like that? It's not the only thing it's just the thing that made me finally snap. I am grossed out by his behavior it would be like if a dude washed his toothbrush in a toilet or something just the ew reflex is so strong.
This sounds like the guy from TLC song "no scrubs"😂
YOU MUST BE MY TWIN!!! GLAD WE HAVE LEARNED FROM THESE EXPERIENCES!
I feel attacked with the cooking example 😂.. I needed this though
😅 Glad you enjoyed the video 🙏
I don't 🤷🏾♀️ I'll cook if I want to
@@vodkavuitton I hear you , I gladly cooked so many meals lol
Baby…. I’m not trying to be his mom & lover
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Eeeel same.
Good stuff, Stephan as always but the bonus point is what really hit with me. We can't forget about ourselves or we won't be good for him or for anyone.
Nice one 🙏
A lot of men dont know how to communicate. Then they want to go 90MPH in dating or they think they are in a relationship with you. U never even committed too. I went to dinner with a few different guys over the years after my husband died and they thought we were in a relationship and I snapped right out of that. I broke off with daters bc im a 20mph cautious person and most men wants to jump in the sack. I am worth so much more than that and i will say Bye right away.
Same. Two phone calls and he wants to move to a homestead and has already decided I'm his dream woman and he doesn't even know me!
Such a good message. Spend time fixing the broken parts of your heart/emotions/ memory so you don't attach yourself to what you're not ready for. Healing for the win 🏆
Amen 🙏
This video came right on time! I just blocked him Friday perfect timing lol!
I’m glad it was helpful to you 🙏
I'm happy for you. ❤❤❤
Kkkkkkk😅 poor guy
@@angelnetworkascension2039 Thank you 🥰
In my healing journey from my ex husband, I learned I’m a people pleaser always putting their needs and wants before mine. I give my all to others but not to myself. I also learned it’s ok to say “no.” I’m an empath and attract toxic men.
Before you decide to do something for someone, ask yourself if it wasn’t reciprocated in some way (attention, love, admiration, commitment, him doing the same thing, etc) would I be upset? If so, then don’t do it.
Also, ask yourself, did he ask you to do it?
A lot of women ‘do things for a man’ hoping he’ll do it for her/that’s what she wants from him. Ex: Him to take initiative, made the load lighter for her, etc.
Wow - I screenshotted your comment. Thanks.
Thank you Stephan, Great points! I needed to hear this and im sure many other women. At 29:09 almost took me out 🤯. I believe this is Gods extra confirmation to me thru your video. I had just moved into my new place. I was excited because the guy i was feeling and thought felt same for me. He had made effort to come out my area which was a pretty distance drive outside of city. Ive been to his area more just to note. We had a great evening but i felt he was being overly lovey dovey even to point mentioning things like we should get matching tattoos on fingers etc but i just went with flow tried to enjoy moment. The next morning, I wasnt sure if i should cook breakfast for him but i did. I felt God say just do it, dont stop being the good woman you are, and watch as the rest will be revealed. Well, it didn't take long, his actions (ghosting) right after up until the following weekend gave me all i needed to know...he was an ungrateful ba$tard.😂 Never again!
That's lovebombing hun. If a guys moving fast, predators move fast, not gentleman. You likely don't have a support system yet. They suss it out. Don't overshare on dates, so you don't "instantly connect" with a guy mirroring all the MANY intimate details you overshare ("me too!" Wow we are perfect...etc) don't expect a first date to lead to a marriage and fantasize a future. Go in with attitude you might never see this guy again but might have a good chat. Based off the date and his behavior/your gut around him, not your hope for a future/marriage, do YOU WANT another date? See the guy you wanna see again who doesn't propose permanent commitments early on, that's called future faking and it's fooled many women to keep investing REAl time effort money based on he never proposed. Thank Hod plans of commitment
my ex wven pretebded he "lost" a ring that never exusted. 7 yrs kater
Thank you! Yes, love bombing is the term. I definitely peeped it. We had been dealing off and on. I've learned my lesson. Don't ever walk backwards. It will keep you stuck possibly with some thing evil. Just block and move forward.
Married people in a solid relationship generally act as a partnership , not one doing all the errands, ironing, laundry, etc.
🎯
Perhaps that's what i have going against me. I just naturally do "all the things." For 25 years I've been the breadwinner and the homemaker. I enjoy cooking and value the love that goes into every meal, be they simple or elaborate.
We were given life to LIVE IT. We all live it differantly. I mean to live it authentically; which means..."you come around my spot you're going to see art, smell the ocean, and enjoy a home cooked meal, because that's who i am, it's what I love to do, how i enjoy living. I've always truly found joy in domestic duties, the mundane... they're an unavoidable aspect of life, so i caught on young, making it fun, pouring love and passion into every moment.
Our society has grown quite self serving. Loving God and having an understanding of the scriptures has led me to see things so differently. I'm not going to hide or hold back who i am to play some kind of game with a grown man. I like communication, transparency. When people cant "keep it real with me," i just distance myself. As quietly as possible, I'm too old to be getting out of character, scene causing is tacky...even in a party of two.
Let's all just address the "REAL ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM," I'd guess most of us here are adults. Be genuinely you. It should be the simplest, most natural thing to be... we're not in high school, be open and honest about who you are from the begining. A lot of people run, but nobody can hide forever from who they really are. Everything done in the darkness eventually comes to the light.
This video just Blessed my life 😢. Amazingly, someone asked me if I would marry him today knowing he's not where he needs to be in his life I said no, BUT He said Yes in a heartbeat. I'm refusing to be miserable. This is a unhealthy attachment. Dang I Must Let Go because he's not worth it 😢
I knew of a woman who didn’t deserve it, cooked, took his clothes to the cleaners, mow the lawn, etc…and gave nothing but grief and stole from her
Wow! I'm so sorry to hear that 🙏
That's a very low self esteem woman. Facts!
Kkkk mow the lawn had me rolling on the floor
I know a lot of very young ladies that do these things for their men and its so not on..what I think is the most sadness part of all is, a lot of them doesn't even know any better and they been told by their parents it's what they have to do to keep a man..🥺😢thank you for your wonderful videos Stephan 🙏🏽💚
So true. I grew up seeing and being told nothing except how the woman/wife just naturally does every single thing inside the house as a slave, and the man/husband has fun outside drinking beer with his friends. This was the norm for many of us, and it's no wonder we have so much trouble navigating out of that mindset! Only with the help of coaches like this did I realize how unfair it truly was...
Ladies….we have to learn how to read these guys. Trust and believe that they show and tells you all you needs to know in their behavior and what they says indirectly. Learn to read the words in between the words that’s not spoken!
So true
You definitely gotta make sure that the last point you made is not where you find yourself a lot of times in a relationship. Neglecting you or your children to make the partner more important. There really does have to be a balance between the two. ❤💙💯
Even in a committed relationship, I’m not cleaning his house. I have my own house to clean. I can promise you this…A man that truly values you, doesn’t want you to. It’s a turn off because he doesn’t want to f his mother. We are nurturers so it comes naturally. I learned this firsthand when I surprised my ex bf but cleaning up his apartment while he was golfing. He was less than thrilled.
Love these ❤thanks for your insight on relationships
You're welcome 🙏
Giving a man kids WIFEY DUTY!
Sure is!
When I was in my early 20s I really enjoyed the 50s housewife fantasy with my first live in boyfriend. It wasnt "sexy" after a month anymore it was giving wifey perks without the lifelong subscription. Playing house was cute. Then I graduated university, had years of therapy and realized "working" for love/approval is a sad response to performance-notice you parenting. You dont have to do squat to gain love. To make a marriage and relationship work yes you have to do stuff but not for the love, the trust the loyalty-that sh*t can't be bribed/bought. Dont audition for america's next top sucker. Be loved for who you ARE not what you do and im sorry anyone reading this that you had to jump through hoops to get a "proud of you" or acknowledgement of love from an emotionally immature parent(s).
This hit home hard. ❤️
Yes! Don’t help men in the beginning, it ruins the natural order of things.
Alternative lifestyles? Haaaa…..naw Sis, he could never be “your guy” & you wouldn’t be able to trust him….even if you’re into it.
I’m dating a man first time I invited him to eat at my place , he Zelle me some money , then gifts less than 3 months vacation to the Caribbean. I got lucky this time maybe 😂, let see 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ he’s Haitian if you don’t cook to impress you might not get a Haitian men 😩😩😩
Teach us Stephan. Take heed ladies.
Thank you so much for this topic!! The very best advice I had for long time!! Perfect timing too even though I ended it yesterday. Thank you for this!! God Bless!❤
It’s not that he’s not worth it necessarily, but it’s a turnoff for him, even if he doesn’t consciously know it.
Stalking & harassment grossly turns me off too but it doesn't stop them 🤷🏾♀️
😂😂 Stephan, I am learning and laughing... mostly laughing because you are hilarious and Crack me up!
He valued the one that he’s separated and the ones he’s sleeping with, he’s using for sexual gratification. They’re doing exactly what he will not ask of her to do for him because he respects her!
Very well said, Stefan thank you for being a male giving us (females), some helpful information.
What’s your advice for long distance relationship? Do you have video for that?
He can know you can clean without cleaning HIS house
I hope the guy didn't spread an STD or infection to the 7th girl while sleeping with 6 others😮
Sure thing the 7 of them are all stupid
This toxic guy might be riddled with STDs
So annoying
Cuz we love genuinely, we don’t know when we doing to much. We feel like we can go above and beyond for the people we love specially our men. It’s in us . We do it naturally and some of us don’t expect anything in return. I feel like if a man like u he will love ur actions. It’s jus that in this generation when a woman shows real love and genuine mean take that as we are desperate. I wish men can understand where some of us are coming from. We are jus genuine lovers.
Oof, calling us out. Thank you ❤ I don't think I came across this video by mistake.
I understood everything perfectly and I really appreciate this message but the ungrateful bastard part hit home 😂😂😂
lol 😂
This help me because I’m just a giver but the man I was with took it the wrong way. He took it as if I was going to say he used me but I never did anything for a reason other than then I wanted to. We were a couple but he didn’t want to poor back the same energy. He didn’t like me to be nice to him it was weird. And I couldn’t even speak of my job in positive way to him with him replying in hasty way.
Glad you're out of that abusive relationship
Don’t act like a wife when you aren’t even his girlfriend.
Thank you for sharing this! Stephan, such a great inspiration! ✨️
I’m no longer doing this today I’m having a good talk to discuss it’s been 6 months I’ve pulled back as I don’t want to invest anymore if it’s not being reciprocated
Been here done this ...done now Thank God
🙏
Wayment is that a boogie Stephan 😅
Noted!!! He can get one meal 🤣🤣🤣
Lol 🙏
Meal? A taste test. A sample😂😂
Be attentive if he doesn't t ask for more then be sure u cannot cook 🤣🤣
@@user-fh1tr9zp3l 😂😂😂 good point
Preach it Stephan. I wish i could succinctly share my own position in relationship to men & that man to you & hear your feedback.
Good points. This was me. Now I’m having trust issues 🤦🏽♀️
This is so validating for me.. thank you ❤
Interesting video stephan
I love watching your videos ❤❤❤
Stephan is so much right as usual. I have molded myself for years into something I am not - none of us was happy as a result of that. Bless Stephan for all the wisdom he shares 🙏🙏🙏
Sometimes I lose myself in your videos because you be all over the place. You over talk yourself. Maybe write down bullet points of what you need to say. You are on point but it's scattered.
Very well said! Brought tears to my eyes..🥺👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💚💚💚🙏🏽
Hello Stephan, I always feel enlightened by your amazing relationship advice videos, I made some mistakes in the past when I was giving too much to a man. 👍
Stephan
Nailed it!!!!!!!
I am so grateful what you said starting at 9:18. I have run circles around the man I love and married too for 27 years, raise 5 children. And then he became unhappy and ungrateful and taking me for granted and I can't ignore it anymore. Betraying self is the worst betrayal.
You've just described the last 30 years of my life.
NoNoNoNo to all the above ! but I will make him a "mean" sandwich & a glass of ice tea!! . Stephan this a good video. I Will pass it on to those women who needs it.
So true. Preach Stephan, your sisters need it. U r doing a great job.
Came out swinging on the first one....I have learnt my last lesson this last time doing that...
Thank you for this video.
My pleasure ❤️
Another great video! Thank you SO much for sharing! I appreciate it! I'm not currently dating anyone yet but these points are duly noted.
My takeaways/thoughts are as follows: 1. I think when people "do too much" is almost like people are "auditioning for a role" or "applying for a job". It shouldn't be like that. It's like they're trying to prove themselves. That sounds like WORK to me. I wish I would (sarcastically and jokingly-LOL) cook, clean, do a man's laundry, give him money, etc. for a dude that isn't MY man... NOT!! I ain't Florence (from The Jefferson's or Alice from The Brady Bunch! ) LOL. However, I do think it's okay to assist once in a blue moon if that's what a women wants to do. She just needs to make sure her motives are right. 2. I think what really matters is not what you to "for the person" (chores) but more so " how do they make you feel" (with a genuine/loving/sincere heart). 3. I'm a huge believer in just being myself! I'm definitely an expressive! I love sharing my thoughts and showing affection! That's one of my strengths! Not a fan of phoniness or pretending. SO I'm confident in that area.
Again, another great video! In the meanwhile, I'm growing, learning, preparing, improving myself! I just want to be a better person, teammate, future wife, lover etc.
This is so true Stephan. Thank you very much!
That's why it's so important to focus on healing first... We act out of our trauma and wounds, instead of love.
I've been there, done that... 🤷🏽♀️ at the end of the day you can't blame anyone but yourself. We need to take accountability for our own decisions. Don't blame a clown for acting like a clown 🤡 ask yourself why you keep going to the circus...
God is so graceful!! he will use every situation to mold us, to heal us and to prepare us, for everything that he has for us. 🙏🏽
Your right 🥰🥰🥰🥰 mine threaten to cheat cause we hadn't had sex told me how he'd cheat on me ❤❤❤I'm done ✅🍀 coach Stephan Speaks ❤
I am dealing with this at 65 . Do a lot for the person and He keeps insisting we are only friends and says we are not in a relationship yet I am so charmed by him I keep putting tons of effort into trying to do things for him and with him, if he allows it . what I keep thinking it will turn into more.I get a Thank you here and there but keep being told we don’t have a relationship! I am going on 8 months in to this Relationship he labels as a non-relationship! 🤪I want more!
He doesn't though... 8 months is past too long to wait 😢
Break up. It won't change and 65?
Maam, 65 and dealing with this. Let him go and find a better person.
Great advice! All girls should hear this early on....
Thank you very much
Hi Stephan I found your channel recently and are taking notes 😊
Sin causes a lot of problems for the world. It has really hurt us all and the end result is death. I wish this culture was not so degraded. It fun and wonderful for everone until its not.
Sometimes men be tripping hard when they want to go from the first phone call to being a live-in, fake husband in one week or less.
Sometimes women be tripping hard when they want to go from the first phone call to a live-in, fake wife in one week or less.
❤ What in the world happened to men and women taking it SLOW!😮 Dating and relationships can be hazardous to your health or lead to death ☠️ That's cra-cra!
yep thats sooooo true ladies i hape you are taking notes
VERY well said 👏👏👏👏👏👏. Giving it to GOD is the Ultimate 💞💫🌹💞💫💞
I definitely lost myself making myself too available and caring too much there was no balance for me I was trying to mirror the image of the woman they wanted and I burned myself out! NEVER again. If it doesn’t feel right more then likely it the wrong energy for me
This is on point
YESSS!!!!
👀 it’s pushing out. 🤧
Stephan why you look like a piece of caramel on this video...caramel so good...
He said “some of yalll already not doing all that” I was like I swear causee I was lost thinking “people actually do that” 😂
This is me with my boyfriend who is 8yrs younger than me not I have attachment issues that we always argue about. I wish I wasn’t too kind.
This video is very helpful. Thank you.
I’m glad you found it helpful