DISCLAIMER: Real-life situations are nuanced and context matters. Please use your own discernment when navigating such issues. If you recognize these signs in yourself, don’t take it as a personal attack. Instead, view it as an opportunity to reflect and improve your boundaries for healthier relationships.
People have kept saying "It's boundaries" on me and then "insult" me and just because I asked a question Thanks for this video now I know when boundaries are used as weapons
See the problem with boundaries is it makes people too sensitive people can become offended at everything real boundaries are few and easy to enforce because of the severity of the boundary for example not cheating on each other or if it's a friend no backstabbing see very simple boundaries most people today have no endurance for any type of conflict and rarely know how to resolve things in a peaceful manner so having many boundaries invites trouble
It’s weaponised boundaries if you are harbouring any envy, jealousy or resentment towards someone. If it’s self-love it concerns you and no one else. It’s not to get back at someone or to make them feel your negative emotions.
I had a friend once who had such great boundaries that whenever I asked to spend time with her once every few months or so, she angrily accused me of taking her away from her family obligations. We're no longer friends.
It sounds like her boundaries were more about control than connection, which can be painful to experience in a friendship. When boundaries are so rigid that simple companionship feels like a burden, do you think they might be more about protecting her own comfort than fostering a meaningful relationship?
Timestamps. 0:00 Intro 0:31 Disclaimer 0:48 The boundary is unilatery decided. 1:41 the boundery shifts to suit their needs. 3:15 The boundery is used as a punishment. 4:30 The boundery dismisses or disrespects your feelings. 5:31 The boundery is unrealistic but can never be challenged. 6:10 The boundery is not communicated properly bit is expected to be followed. 7:27 Outro
Another example, say you have a romantic partner or close friend who love giving and physical affection while you are kind if uncomfortable with too much physical contact so you might want to set a boundary there but it's not fair to deprive your partner of friend of physical affection with you for days to weeks on end just because you need your space more which may likely need to resentment and loneliness. Both your strong need for space and their strong need for hugs or hand-holding or cuddles etc can be communicated & respected.
That's such an important example-finding a balance between respecting boundaries and honoring each other's needs for connection is key in any close relationship. When two people have such different comfort levels, do you think there's a way to bridge the gap without one person feeling deprived or the other overwhelmed?
Wow so Am I a manipulator?, it happened for me twice, a crush of mine asked my friend out , she wanted to play with him she didn't like him and she asked me if she could date him, I rejected, but I didn't force her to , she chose to date him despite my feelings and started playing with him and after that she comes and tell me all the romantic things he did and says to her, and she starts badmouthing him , and she hurted him alot, and even breakup with him twice, one day he started approaching me, she regret and asked me she want to apologize to him, so I did help her but then when she found out he doesn't have feelings for her anymore she cut me off because "I was the reason" like wtf. Years later same situation happened with another friend and I wanted to break the cycle from the beginning, I told her she's free but if she chose him she will lose me, and I won't give af (like I will move on and won't even do anything to her, just we both go in separate ways An life goes on). Because it literally hurts af it's a betrayal and non respect to my deep emotion. Is this a manipulation? Ps:after all she chosed him and cut me off because "I'm being selfish and that I put pressure on her meanwhile she ghosted me and didn't want to discuss it, while I was begging for her that what she's doing hurts af, also she said before that she didn't experience my "pure deep feelings towards my crush", he didn't know that I have feelings and he found out because of her and he told her that I should move on , and after that he started flirting with her and she didn't cut him off. Also it was his first time knowing her meanwhile he knows me about 3 years long
@@arrowschan8989um… this just sounds like basic boundaries…. At the end of the video they separate what weaponized and basic boundaries… though at least you were concerned 😅
@@liinliin7128 really? I hope so, also I apologized to her when she said "I was mean and hurted her", and she didn't apologize when I said I cried the whole week when u ghosted me (I respect her distancing herself) ,she also said she can't see me the same person anymore, I told her well same but I still believe people could change so what happened didn't effect our friendship, she insisted that it did ruin the friendship, anyway as I said she did cut me off. And till now I don't know If I'm horrible just for setting such a small boundary (I don't know if it's small in others pov Lol)
That’s a powerful insight, and it's true-boundaries can sometimes be a tool for control in the wrong hands. How do you think we can tell the difference between healthy boundaries and those that might be masking manipulative behavior?
I believe I often weaponise my boundaries. Especially with friends.... and I often feel like a bad friend because I can see the hurt or pain. But, sometimes I am the one who gets hurt. Though, I am also very emotional or overdramatic and tend to look at every situation poorly. Sometimes they blatantly say it is not meant offensively. And I go silent. I've become better at processing my emotions, but I still blow up at my sibling. And then I think about how I won't have them in my life as much as I want them if I keep pushing them away. I don't know where I got this from but... it's really bad. And it can also come from jealousy or envy when someone is smarter or more adept at something than me. Thank you Psych2Go.
It sounds like you have a lot of insight into your feelings and actions, which is a big step toward change. Recognizing the impact of emotional reactions on relationships is tough but so valuable. Do you think exploring where these patterns began could help you break the cycle and find healthier ways to express your needs without pushing others away?
I think I've been weaponizing boundaries with my manager at work, and it's creating escalating problems. The main issue is that I am neurodivergent, and have multiple sources of trauma, including my previous jobs. As a result, I generally don't see my manager as a person so much as a bill, a bill to be paid in executive function I don't always have. How can I better communicate my needs and limits to him in a way that facilitates workplace accommodation, not workplace discrimination and further trauma?
This one’s complicated…. Work is work… you’re are there for the dollar… if you want to be friends at your worksite fine, but that place is to pay your bills… The trauma is about being in the spectrum… as you dealt too many ableist company who don’t (and never will) accommodate to your specific and discriminate you for it.. It’s okay to heal. Yes and sometime Weaponized Boundaries can used by victims of trauma…. But just do your best and if want to try to be nice to your manager, try talking to him and getting to know him 😊
Speaking as a manager: Write down what you want from your manager at home, or away from the workplace. Look at these wants and consider if they are realistic for the job and business, and remove any that are not true needs. Make sure none of them will prevent you from doing any part of the job - the job that you said you could do when you were hired. Include a way to tell your manager that you are overwhelmed at that moment, and one to tell them you understand what they're talking about, will comply, and further discussion/explanations are unnecessary. Then you can take these to your manager, or possibly HR (though you should start with your manager as it creates a bad environment if you don't attempt to address the issue directly first - have a neutral employee to witness the discussion if you can). When you were hired and told the company you were neurodivergent and needed accommodation, you should have explained the basic accommodations you required and that you might need further adjustments once you got into the work environment. There is no need to go into details of your neurodivergence, just that it exists and what accommodations you need to function well. Your manager would prefer to know what he can do to help you perform your job well. Hiding those needs from him will create a poor work environment for both of you, as it will appear you are deliberately trying to create extra work for your manager, and he can't help you if he doesn't know.
Thank you, thank you ♥️ Thank you for reminding us context matters, looking at the whole picture & from different angles, giving examples & challenging us to look inward as well. This is the kind of stuff that should be taught in schools. Y’all are wonderful & appreciated
Thank you so much! ❤ Knowing our videos make a positive difference for you truly means the world to us. Is there a topic you'd love to see us cover next? 😊
I have a suggestion for your animation. The constant change for the background and text placements overwhelms me, it feels pretty confusing for me looking at the full image that is about to change in 2 seconds, reading subtitle, then looking the full pict again, then read subtitle again, making sure that i won't miss anything. Maybe try to make the drawings a bit more constant for every segment (Like staying in a city background for a segment, then change to a river for the next segment)? That way, i can be more focused to comprehend the teachings and not being overwhelmed by observing every little scenes. Thanks for considering :D
@@liinliin7128 hmm... i guess it only affects people who subconsciously observe every little details on what they see... However, i do agree that such constant talk animation without any depiction whatsoever does get boring after some time. But at least it has way less distractions, so i can be more focused on learning.
My great aunt is very terrible at abusing her boundaries… she even done towards of a sibling of hers AND mine! It does help that she’s pretty Narcissistic
2:04 - The strings-attached gifts, physical & emotional, has been used by my father, mother and my ex-best friend. It actually led me to feeling guilty or even anxious when receiving gifts. It started with my dad loving to shower my brother and myself with gifts, then if we didn’t do as he asked immediately (he would actually wait a bit) he would call us ‘spoiled brats’.
That sounds really difficult. When boundaries feel more like punishment than a way to create mutual respect, it can be incredibly frustrating and hurtful. Do you think having an honest conversation about how her boundaries are impacting you could open up some understanding, or does it feel too risky to bring it up?
@@Psych2go It feels risky. I understand why she might be angry with me right now, and I tried to apologize, but every time I tried she was frustrated with the situation. So she said she wanted us to move on, but now she just talks to everyone but me and she ghosts me. I feel terrible.
I’m glad this video could offer some clarity! It’s so confusing when boundaries seem to shift without explanation-it can feel like constantly trying to keep up. Do you think understanding someone else’s reasons for changing their boundaries might make it easier to navigate, or would it still feel unsettling?
I sometimes silent treat my gf & I hate it.. I don't want to, but I feel like not talking to anyone I want to disappear and blast music on headphones &If I answer it's probably dry text I hate this state
The silent treatment is immature, manipulative and also abusive behaviour. How would you feel if she treated you the same way ? How about just stating that you need space for x amount of time and that you'll contact her again afterwards? If you're overwhelmed, you can use a specific word that's only used for a time out. BUT the issue will still have to be talked about and resolved. It's way better to communicate, than to leave the partner in the unknown. Especially as it often feels like punishment for the other partner. Maybe try to look into the Dismissive Avoidant attachment style ? It could help you to understand yourself better if you're indeed DA.
I’m very happy that you’re aware of your actions ❤. Though it’s not good to silent treat her… unless she’s doing something similar to you. Try to communicate with her as to why you need your space
Hello , I have a question and I wanted to know if it is okay for me to feel this way , I have a friend who I gave a lot of gifts to , the problem is immediately after she really doesn't talk not even saying hello and never explains why , but after sometimes she talks again and from what I noticed it happens mostly with me not with other friends , and here is the question am I right to feel resentment towards her ?
You’re feeling resentment towards them because she’s being direct to you… and it might be about the gifts. SHE needs to you if wanted the gift or not. At this point, the situation is on her not you. You have the gift to her because you adore your friend… but if she’s like this every time you her a gift and she refrains from to you, that’s on her now, not you
I would follow the advice of the video and let her know how you feel.That resentment stems from not communicating your feelings. Please remember to do it respectfully as the video suggest. (There might be a better way of phrasing this)Example: Ive notice that you have distanced yourself whenever I buy you gifts. I feel (insert feeling here) when ever this happens. Can you please explain to my why this happens?
My ex would say we'll talk later so he ciuld have some space to process his feelings and the issue would never be discussed again. I didn't like that but again you can't force someone to communicate
That sounds really frustrating-when someone uses "space" as a way to avoid important conversations, it can leave you feeling unheard and unresolved. Do you think there’s a way to encourage open communication in future relationships without feeling like you’re pushing, or is it more about finding someone who's naturally open to processing things together?
@Psych2go I'm leaning towards finding someone who is more open to having tough conversations to help us move forward. But I'm also growing into being able to let people know, as best as I can, that we should talk if necessary and I'll express my emotions should I not be allowed to
Honestly just using the word “boundary” in everyday conversation instead of talking like a normal human is usually a dead ringer for a desire to control someone else over taking care of one’s self
You bring up an interesting point-when "boundaries" become buzzwords instead of honest communication, it can feel more like a tactic than true self-care. Do you think there's a way we can encourage genuine conversations about needs without relying on labels that might lose their meaning?
My problem here is like the vid but its actually a fight between my personalities about boundaries.like if I should stop sleeping late I have to fight mt myself for days before it's acceptable to me.I even think why I am stopping myself when I think bout a boundary I set on me
Word of advice before you share this video with someone. Without context someone may listen to this thinking you mean to imply they do this to you or others. Give a disclaimer as to why you felt they might find the video informative as to not come across as an attack.
Great advice! Sharing sensitive topics without context can definitely create misunderstandings. Do you think adding a personal note, like “I thought of this video because it helped me understand more about boundaries,” could make it feel more supportive and less accusatory?
I don't care about the well-being of my trump-supporting extended family members. it's beyond politics at this point. it's about good vs evil. I voted for good.
@@SarahLewis777you mean forced birth? Nothing wrong with hating the hateful 😂😅 At this point … it shows what their values are. Money, not love, but money
I'd caution against assigning such blanket terms to a nuanced situation. If you tried seeing things from their situation, it could help you understand why they think that way and then have a conversation, or decide to not speak about it with them. Politics shouldn't be anyone's entire personality, and if they are, you may want to take a step back and remember that both parties have had terms in office and the world didn't end. Little things may change, but you'll be just fine. Don't lose important personal relationships over an election.
@@SarahLewis777 Pro-life??? Do you remember Amber Thurman's complications because she couldn't get the care, she needed because the doctor was afraid of going to jail? And she and her baby died. Pro-life???? give me a break. More like pro-control. Pro-choice is pro-life!!!
5:25 got a question here. I've had a similar circumstance except I was being vented to about subjects that I was not and am not mentally well enough to hear or handle at this time. They were talking about being SAd as a kid in a vent channel of my server which contains minors as young as 15. I had to ask them to not say that in the server, but I also had to ask them not to dm me personally about it because I just couldn't handle it. I want to support them and be their safe space but I've never met them in person and I'm sensitive to certain subjects like that. I had also needed to text 988 recently at that time so I really wasn't in a good spot. I don't remember my exact words and cant find the dms but I never meant to hurt them. I told them they could still DM any mod on the team, since most of us can handle hearing that, and advised they try to seek therapy. Was there anything else I could have or should have done? Was there anything I did wrong?
It's difficult as the subject is never stated. However, there are a bunch of places they can talk to without too many limits. You were seeing the site you were modding for as their only safe space. Think outside of the box.
@williamstellmon7565 they'd said themselves they don't have many options for places they can talk about their problems so I still feel incredibly guilty for blocking off one of their (allegedly) few options. They were discussing subjects like sa, p3d0 stuff, and child abxse. Not sure if all of that is properly censored.
@Bivanqw "my LGBTQ+ neighbor is allergic to peanuts, they must all be allergic to peanuts" type logic. Just because a community exists doesn't mean everyone in it is all the same. Also, these are all... boundaries for like, personal relationships. You don't need to turn everything into a way to jab at the "snowflakes"- which, there certainly are some, but not all of them are. Don't put a whole group into such a tiny box. Large groups (more than like, 3 or 4 people) have varying individuals.
Recognized too many bullshit statements in this to continue listening. The "I didnt ask for your help" argument is BS. So as friends we should just decide not to help eachother when we see the other in desperate need ? Good. Lets do that next time. That way I none of us helps the other. Not just me helping you.
It sounds like you’re feeling really hurt by the idea that support might be seen as unwanted. Friendship should be a space for mutual care and understanding, especially in tough times. Do you think there’s a way to communicate with your friend about what you both feel comfortable with in terms of support, so it doesn’t feel one-sided or dismissed?
@Psych2go exactly. Mutual care. If your friends argumentation turns into "but I didnt ask for your help" he aint no friend. Imagine youd use that argumentation when your friend showed that he needs help ? You just go: yeah technically you didnt ask for my help, so I dont think im going to.
DISCLAIMER: Real-life situations are nuanced and context matters. Please use your own discernment when navigating such issues. If you recognize these signs in yourself, don’t take it as a personal attack. Instead, view it as an opportunity to reflect and improve your boundaries for healthier relationships.
Hello!
Why is your comment is made 1 month ago when it's supposed to be second lolll!!
People have kept saying "It's boundaries" on me and then "insult" me and just because I asked a question
Thanks for this video now I know when boundaries are used as weapons
@@-gg3re that was what I was wondering! Why??
See the problem with boundaries is it makes people too sensitive people can become offended at everything real boundaries are few and easy to enforce because of the severity of the boundary for example not cheating on each other or if it's a friend no backstabbing see very simple boundaries most people today have no endurance for any type of conflict and rarely know how to resolve things in a peaceful manner so having many boundaries invites trouble
It’s weaponised boundaries if you are harbouring any envy, jealousy or resentment towards someone. If it’s self-love it concerns you and no one else. It’s not to get back at someone or to make them feel your negative emotions.
i envy everyone bro
Same, especially as I watch others I know get by easy, how can I NOT be envious?? @@q3-7
Not only that but Narcissists use weaponized boundaries just for pure power play. Can’t forget that either
I had a friend once who had such great boundaries that whenever I asked to spend time with her once every few months or so, she angrily accused me of taking her away from her family obligations. We're no longer friends.
Yeah, she just didn’t like you and perfected her family. That’s fine, but she didn’t have to be so shitty about the whole endeavor
Sounds like you were never friends to begin with.
It sounds like her boundaries were more about control than connection, which can be painful to experience in a friendship. When boundaries are so rigid that simple companionship feels like a burden, do you think they might be more about protecting her own comfort than fostering a meaningful relationship?
Timestamps.
0:00 Intro
0:31 Disclaimer
0:48 The boundary is unilatery decided.
1:41 the boundery shifts to suit their needs.
3:15 The boundery is used as a punishment.
4:30 The boundery dismisses or disrespects your feelings.
5:31 The boundery is unrealistic but can never be challenged.
6:10 The boundery is not communicated properly bit is expected to be followed.
7:27 Outro
Thank you 🎉🎉🎉
@@liinliin7128Your welcome
Another example, say you have a romantic partner or close friend who love giving and physical affection while you are kind if uncomfortable with too much physical contact so you might want to set a boundary there but it's not fair to deprive your partner of friend of physical affection with you for days to weeks on end just because you need your space more which may likely need to resentment and loneliness. Both your strong need for space and their strong need for hugs or hand-holding or cuddles etc can be communicated & respected.
That's such an important example-finding a balance between respecting boundaries and honoring each other's needs for connection is key in any close relationship. When two people have such different comfort levels, do you think there's a way to bridge the gap without one person feeling deprived or the other overwhelmed?
Note: Most manipulators use these (coming from experience), just in case you might need it.
Wow so Am I a manipulator?, it happened for me twice, a crush of mine asked my friend out , she wanted to play with him she didn't like him and she asked me if she could date him, I rejected, but I didn't force her to , she chose to date him despite my feelings and started playing with him and after that she comes and tell me all the romantic things he did and says to her, and she starts badmouthing him , and she hurted him alot, and even breakup with him twice, one day he started approaching me, she regret and asked me she want to apologize to him, so I did help her but then when she found out he doesn't have feelings for her anymore she cut me off because "I was the reason" like wtf.
Years later same situation happened with another friend and I wanted to break the cycle from the beginning, I told her she's free but if she chose him she will lose me, and I won't give af (like I will move on and won't even do anything to her, just we both go in separate ways An life goes on). Because it literally hurts af it's a betrayal and non respect to my deep emotion. Is this a manipulation?
Ps:after all she chosed him and cut me off because "I'm being selfish and that I put pressure on her meanwhile she ghosted me and didn't want to discuss it, while I was begging for her that what she's doing hurts af, also she said before that she didn't experience my "pure deep feelings towards my crush", he didn't know that I have feelings and he found out because of her and he told her that I should move on , and after that he started flirting with her and she didn't cut him off. Also it was his first time knowing her meanwhile he knows me about 3 years long
@@arrowschan8989um… this just sounds like basic boundaries…. At the end of the video they separate what weaponized and basic boundaries… though at least you were concerned 😅
@@liinliin7128 really? I hope so, also I apologized to her when she said "I was mean and hurted her", and she didn't apologize when I said I cried the whole week when u ghosted me (I respect her distancing herself) ,she also said she can't see me the same person anymore, I told her well same but I still believe people could change so what happened didn't effect our friendship, she insisted that it did ruin the friendship, anyway as I said she did cut me off. And till now I don't know If I'm horrible just for setting such a small boundary (I don't know if it's small in others pov Lol)
Yuuuuup. Mine reaaaallly liked this one (along with guilt tripping).
That’s a powerful insight, and it's true-boundaries can sometimes be a tool for control in the wrong hands. How do you think we can tell the difference between healthy boundaries and those that might be masking manipulative behavior?
I believe I often weaponise my boundaries. Especially with friends.... and I often feel like a bad friend because I can see the hurt or pain. But, sometimes I am the one who gets hurt. Though, I am also very emotional or overdramatic and tend to look at every situation poorly. Sometimes they blatantly say it is not meant offensively. And I go silent. I've become better at processing my emotions, but I still blow up at my sibling. And then I think about how I won't have them in my life as much as I want them if I keep pushing them away. I don't know where I got this from but... it's really bad. And it can also come from jealousy or envy when someone is smarter or more adept at something than me. Thank you Psych2Go.
It sounds like you have a lot of insight into your feelings and actions, which is a big step toward change. Recognizing the impact of emotional reactions on relationships is tough but so valuable. Do you think exploring where these patterns began could help you break the cycle and find healthier ways to express your needs without pushing others away?
I think I've been weaponizing boundaries with my manager at work, and it's creating escalating problems. The main issue is that I am neurodivergent, and have multiple sources of trauma, including my previous jobs. As a result, I generally don't see my manager as a person so much as a bill, a bill to be paid in executive function I don't always have. How can I better communicate my needs and limits to him in a way that facilitates workplace accommodation, not workplace discrimination and further trauma?
This one’s complicated…. Work is work… you’re are there for the dollar… if you want to be friends at your worksite fine, but that place is to pay your bills…
The trauma is about being in the spectrum… as you dealt too many ableist company who don’t (and never will) accommodate to your specific and discriminate you for it..
It’s okay to heal. Yes and sometime Weaponized Boundaries can used by victims of trauma…. But just do your best and if want to try to be nice to your manager, try talking to him and getting to know him 😊
Speaking as a manager:
Write down what you want from your manager at home, or away from the workplace. Look at these wants and consider if they are realistic for the job and business, and remove any that are not true needs. Make sure none of them will prevent you from doing any part of the job - the job that you said you could do when you were hired. Include a way to tell your manager that you are overwhelmed at that moment, and one to tell them you understand what they're talking about, will comply, and further discussion/explanations are unnecessary.
Then you can take these to your manager, or possibly HR (though you should start with your manager as it creates a bad environment if you don't attempt to address the issue directly first - have a neutral employee to witness the discussion if you can). When you were hired and told the company you were neurodivergent and needed accommodation, you should have explained the basic accommodations you required and that you might need further adjustments once you got into the work environment. There is no need to go into details of your neurodivergence, just that it exists and what accommodations you need to function well.
Your manager would prefer to know what he can do to help you perform your job well. Hiding those needs from him will create a poor work environment for both of you, as it will appear you are deliberately trying to create extra work for your manager, and he can't help you if he doesn't know.
It’s a crime I am that early.
"14 sec ago" same 😂
1 min😅
It ain’t
Thank you, thank you ♥️
Thank you for reminding us context matters, looking at the whole picture & from different angles, giving examples & challenging us to look inward as well. This is the kind of stuff that should be taught in schools. Y’all are wonderful & appreciated
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS! YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH ❤
Thank you so much! ❤ Knowing our videos make a positive difference for you truly means the world to us. Is there a topic you'd love to see us cover next? 😊
I have a suggestion for your animation.
The constant change for the background and text placements overwhelms me, it feels pretty confusing for me looking at the full image that is about to change in 2 seconds, reading subtitle, then looking the full pict again, then read subtitle again, making sure that i won't miss anything.
Maybe try to make the drawings a bit more constant for every segment (Like staying in a city background for a segment, then change to a river for the next segment)? That way, i can be more focused to comprehend the teachings and not being overwhelmed by observing every little scenes. Thanks for considering :D
That… would be boring… having a stagnant animation all the time
@@liinliin7128 hmm... i guess it only affects people who subconsciously observe every little details on what they see...
However, i do agree that such constant talk animation without any depiction whatsoever does get boring after some time. But at least it has way less distractions, so i can be more focused on learning.
"Let's revisit this later," is a statement, not a question.
A question would ask something, like "can we revisit this later?".
Modern dating is weaponized boundaries. Ick.
On some level I agree with this
Unfortunately yes 😅
Sheeeesh the timing
My great aunt is very terrible at abusing her boundaries… she even done towards of a sibling of hers AND mine! It does help that she’s pretty Narcissistic
2:04 - The strings-attached gifts, physical & emotional, has been used by my father, mother and my ex-best friend.
It actually led me to feeling guilty or even anxious when receiving gifts. It started with my dad loving to shower my brother and myself with gifts, then if we didn’t do as he asked immediately (he would actually wait a bit) he would call us ‘spoiled brats’.
The video actually addresses a few problems that I also have. I'll see if I can always apply the advice when it's appropriate.
I feel like someone is using her "boundaries" to punish me right now, and idk what to do 😓
It depends on what her boundaries are, what you relationship with her is, and what you feel like she is punishing you for
That sounds really difficult. When boundaries feel more like punishment than a way to create mutual respect, it can be incredibly frustrating and hurtful. Do you think having an honest conversation about how her boundaries are impacting you could open up some understanding, or does it feel too risky to bring it up?
@@Psych2go It feels risky. I understand why she might be angry with me right now, and I tried to apologize, but every time I tried she was frustrated with the situation. So she said she wanted us to move on, but now she just talks to everyone but me and she ghosts me. I feel terrible.
needed this. been on the receiving end of the changing boundary a lot this year and i couldn't understand it until this video
I’m glad this video could offer some clarity! It’s so confusing when boundaries seem to shift without explanation-it can feel like constantly trying to keep up. Do you think understanding someone else’s reasons for changing their boundaries might make it easier to navigate, or would it still feel unsettling?
Thank you ❤❤
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN TELLING MY RECENT EX THIS FOR YEARS!
Everything needs balance
in the right time
I sometimes silent treat my gf & I hate it..
I don't want to, but I feel like not talking to anyone
I want to disappear and blast music on headphones
&If I answer it's probably dry text
I hate this state
The silent treatment is immature, manipulative and also abusive behaviour. How would you feel if she treated you the same way ?
How about just stating that you need space for x amount of time and that you'll contact her again afterwards? If you're overwhelmed, you can use a specific word that's only used for a time out. BUT the issue will still have to be talked about and resolved.
It's way better to communicate, than to leave the partner in the unknown. Especially as it often feels like punishment for the other partner.
Maybe try to look into the Dismissive Avoidant attachment style ? It could help you to understand yourself better if you're indeed DA.
I’m very happy that you’re aware of your actions ❤. Though it’s not good to silent treat her… unless she’s doing something similar to you. Try to communicate with her as to why you need your space
This video came at literally the perfect time
What is self love
Understanding who YOU are as a person… knowing your limits, your strengths, what you can or can’t do, etc
Excellent video
6:24 damn no way ı found a perfect meme template, may ı use it?
Can’t be truly self love if it isn’t loving😅
Self- respect is part of self love
@@liinliin7128 I agree. Because I respect myself enough to not associate with people who support evil.
Hello , I have a question and I wanted to know if it is okay for me to feel this way , I have a friend who I gave a lot of gifts to , the problem is immediately after she really doesn't talk not even saying hello and never explains why , but after sometimes she talks again and from what I noticed it happens mostly with me not with other friends , and here is the question am I right to feel resentment towards her ?
You’re feeling resentment towards them because she’s being direct to you… and it might be about the gifts. SHE needs to you if wanted the gift or not. At this point, the situation is on her not you. You have the gift to her because you adore your friend… but if she’s like this every time you her a gift and she refrains from to you, that’s on her now, not you
I would follow the advice of the video and let her know how you feel.That resentment stems from not communicating your feelings. Please remember to do it respectfully as the video suggest. (There might be a better way of phrasing this)Example: Ive notice that you have distanced yourself whenever I buy you gifts. I feel (insert feeling here) when ever this happens. Can you please explain to my why this happens?
May I ask why you are giving a lot of gifts to them?? maybe a hidden crush somewhere?
give out hugs
Good morning
My ex would say we'll talk later so he ciuld have some space to process his feelings and the issue would never be discussed again. I didn't like that but again you can't force someone to communicate
That sounds really frustrating-when someone uses "space" as a way to avoid important conversations, it can leave you feeling unheard and unresolved. Do you think there’s a way to encourage open communication in future relationships without feeling like you’re pushing, or is it more about finding someone who's naturally open to processing things together?
@Psych2go I'm leaning towards finding someone who is more open to having tough conversations to help us move forward. But I'm also growing into being able to let people know, as best as I can, that we should talk if necessary and I'll express my emotions should I not be allowed to
Oh you’re drinking from the red mug. That’s my favorite mug too.
OH GUESS I CAN’T DRINK FROM ANY RED CUPS ANYMORE
Honestly just using the word “boundary” in everyday conversation instead of talking like a normal human is usually a dead ringer for a desire to control someone else over taking care of one’s self
You bring up an interesting point-when "boundaries" become buzzwords instead of honest communication, it can feel more like a tactic than true self-care. Do you think there's a way we can encourage genuine conversations about needs without relying on labels that might lose their meaning?
When ur so early that u cant find the timestamps
"Boundries"
Why ar editing youtube with krutika gossip
My problem here is like the vid but its actually a fight between my personalities about boundaries.like if I should stop sleeping late I have to fight mt myself for days before it's acceptable to me.I even think why I am stopping myself when I think bout a boundary I set on me
Hello there
Word of advice before you share this video with someone. Without context someone may listen to this thinking you mean to imply they do this to you or others. Give a disclaimer as to why you felt they might find the video informative as to not come across as an attack.
Great advice! Sharing sensitive topics without context can definitely create misunderstandings. Do you think adding a personal note, like “I thought of this video because it helped me understand more about boundaries,” could make it feel more supportive and less accusatory?
Perfect timing because I just googled about this lol
Anything else about someone towards are
Wow 3 minutes in
💜💜
if you're seeing this comment, it might be a sign to read 'Magnetic Aura' from Talesio ❤️
I don't care about the well-being of my trump-supporting extended family members. it's beyond politics at this point. it's about good vs evil. I voted for good.
Why do people hate Trump-supporters so much? Isn’t he the only pro-life candidate?
@@SarahLewis777you mean forced birth? Nothing wrong with hating the hateful 😂😅
At this point … it shows what their values are. Money, not love, but money
I'd caution against assigning such blanket terms to a nuanced situation. If you tried seeing things from their situation, it could help you understand why they think that way and then have a conversation, or decide to not speak about it with them. Politics shouldn't be anyone's entire personality, and if they are, you may want to take a step back and remember that both parties have had terms in office and the world didn't end. Little things may change, but you'll be just fine. Don't lose important personal relationships over an election.
@@SarahLewis777 Pro-life??? Do you remember Amber Thurman's complications because she couldn't get the care, she needed because the doctor was afraid of going to jail? And she and her baby died. Pro-life???? give me a break. More like pro-control. Pro-choice is pro-life!!!
@@liinliin7128 Exactly! All they care about is their money and power. Nothing else. And toxic Christianity is to blame for this unwanted presidency.
Yeeeeee
??????
Sounds like the weird Jonah Hill situation a while back.
im too early
5:25 got a question here. I've had a similar circumstance except I was being vented to about subjects that I was not and am not mentally well enough to hear or handle at this time. They were talking about being SAd as a kid in a vent channel of my server which contains minors as young as 15. I had to ask them to not say that in the server, but I also had to ask them not to dm me personally about it because I just couldn't handle it. I want to support them and be their safe space but I've never met them in person and I'm sensitive to certain subjects like that. I had also needed to text 988 recently at that time so I really wasn't in a good spot. I don't remember my exact words and cant find the dms but I never meant to hurt them. I told them they could still DM any mod on the team, since most of us can handle hearing that, and advised they try to seek therapy. Was there anything else I could have or should have done? Was there anything I did wrong?
It's difficult as the subject is never stated. However, there are a bunch of places they can talk to without too many limits. You were seeing the site you were modding for as their only safe space. Think outside of the box.
@williamstellmon7565 they'd said themselves they don't have many options for places they can talk about their problems so I still feel incredibly guilty for blocking off one of their (allegedly) few options. They were discussing subjects like sa, p3d0 stuff, and child abxse. Not sure if all of that is properly censored.
LGBTQ in a nutshell summarized.
?
@Bivanqw "my LGBTQ+ neighbor is allergic to peanuts, they must all be allergic to peanuts" type logic. Just because a community exists doesn't mean everyone in it is all the same. Also, these are all... boundaries for like, personal relationships. You don't need to turn everything into a way to jab at the "snowflakes"- which, there certainly are some, but not all of them are. Don't put a whole group into such a tiny box. Large groups (more than like, 3 or 4 people) have varying individuals.
You fucking wish 😂
Omg 1hr ago!!!! Can I get pinned?
Recognized too many bullshit statements in this to continue listening.
The "I didnt ask for your help" argument is BS.
So as friends we should just decide not to help eachother when we see the other in desperate need ? Good. Lets do that next time. That way I none of us helps the other. Not just me helping you.
It sounds like you’re feeling really hurt by the idea that support might be seen as unwanted. Friendship should be a space for mutual care and understanding, especially in tough times. Do you think there’s a way to communicate with your friend about what you both feel comfortable with in terms of support, so it doesn’t feel one-sided or dismissed?
@Psych2go exactly. Mutual care. If your friends argumentation turns into "but I didnt ask for your help" he aint no friend.
Imagine youd use that argumentation when your friend showed that he needs help ? You just go: yeah technically you didnt ask for my help, so I dont think im going to.
psych2go again long time bah bah bah boring
🤷🏾♀️
unsubscribe and go away,
What's the matter? If you don't like it, just don't watch it!
Stop commenting out of here. Victimize yourself elsewhere
Personally i feel bad for setting any kind of boundary 😔