Tired of how love is nowadays and many don't want a relationship due to drama so they want fwb or open relationships... It seems not just 'you' but the world doesn't want love or some even can be gold diggers so they create stigma for or to gain someone they desire.
@@LeosIntrovertedSister Doing pretty well. Managing emotions the best we can like most human beings on earth. Is that in PM or AM? It's 1:51 AM here. How about yourself?
1:06 Practicing love doesn't work 1:42 It's not a good time 2:28 Difficulty relating rather than loving 3:15 Getting in your own way 3:59 Dysfunctions in primary relationships
I got you! I’m really sorry you’re going through all of this-it’s seriously tough dealing with that mix of things. But hey, even on the darkest days, there are people who actually want to help you, and it’s okay to lean on them. You don’t have to face this all on your own, so take it one small step at a time, and don’t be afraid to reach out when you need someone in your corner. Sending a big virtual high-five (or hug if that’s more your style) to remind you you’re not alone in this! 💪🌈
Speaking as an aromantic man who didn't understand that was a THING until a few years ago, you may also just not have a typical amount of romantic love to give out. There's a MASSIVE difference between being a heartless person and just not having MUCH romantic love in your heart. For people like me, trying to give that love out to anyone who wants your attention, or wants you sexually, or whatever, can be crippling. You should show love to someone when it FEELS right, because as the video says, you can't practice love- it's not a skill. Love is organic. Hearts aren't machines running on a schedule- you're a reactive being, and if you're aromantic like me, demiromantic, or any of the other categories of romantic orientation that experience less frequent romantic bonds, or take longer to form them, that doesn't mean that you're broken. I used to think I was, even once I'd accepted I was aromantic, but before I had words for it. Then I actually DID fall in love, and I thought that love was fixing me. But that person I fell in love with was tricking me, using the fact I didn't understand romance well (media portrayals of love do a lot of damage to aromantic people, lemme tell ya) to reel me in and control me. I don't say all that to try and scare people away from love- I'm actually just falling in love again now, and this time with someone who's right for me. Even those of us who aren't pulled to other people can still end up with someone good for us, someone who'll care for us and let us care for them. If you're able to have healthy friendships, familial relationships, and even working relationships, but you don't really FEEL romantic love- maybe that's just not a form of love you need to chase. Maybe, in time, it'll come to you.
@@matufujiwara7493 To be fair, I have a genius IQ, 10 years of my life have been spent in therapy, I'm skilled at writing, and I'm aromantic myself. I think Psych2Go is doing their best, but thank you very much. :)
So can you fall in love as a aromantic person?, Also I've been wondering, when it comes to asexual people, they don't feel sexual attraction to anyone so that means they're not really interested in having sex with anyone right?, So if we talk about aromantic people, does that mean they're not interested in having romantic relationship with anyone?, Do aromantic people feel lonely because of this (because of not being able to have a romantic relationship with someone)??, Do they feel the emptiness inside their chest that makes them think they need to be with someone? Or simply they just don't care and don't feel such thing?, like i said, asexual people wouldn't want or care to have sex with someone since they're not interested, so what about aromantic people when it comes to dating somone/be in a romantic relationship with anyone
@@alsimanche Well, these things exist on a spectrum. I'm aromantic. This means I don't experience romantic ATTRACTION, but does not necessarily mean I'm romance REPULSED (I'm not, I'm cool with people heaping romantic affection on me, they're just gonna have to be cool with the fact that I'm kinda weird when I return it, a bit graceless in my case). Similarly, asexual people can be sex-repulsed (I've known one who wasn't though, and they just felt like sex was a physically enjoyable activity. They once likened it to a fun pick up game of soccer- not something they go looking for, but if someone they like wants to do it with them, they're usually interested). While most people DO experience romantic attraction, I don't, which basically means most people are looking for someone to have a romantic relationship with, and I don't feel compelled to do that. Some of us actively hate people directing romantic affection at us (as I mentioned, the term is romance-repulsed) so people like that who experience sexual attraction are specifically looking for hookups as opposed to relationships. It's worth noting this is NOT the same thing as having relationship trauma- some people don't want to be in relationships because they're scared of them, people like me just don't feel a NEED for them like most people do. Some of us are what is typically called, "aroace" which is aromantic/asexual at the same time, and those people basically just value platonic friendships in the same slot they'd normally hold romantic connections. I personally am a polyamorous aromantic allosexual (allosexual being the word for someone who experience sexual attraction- you know, like most of us). I'm actually also hypersexual, meaning I experience INTENSE sex drive (I have to jerk off multiple times a day just to keep my mood stable most of the time, it's a lot). If I had partners, I'd set boundaries about what kind of things we could do with regards to the poly part, but for me it's mostly just, "don't have unprotected sex with randos because I don't want STDs". To answer your question about loneliness- some of us do feel lonely because we don't have a close connection like that, yes, but at least for me, that loneliness fades even just if I get to hang out with my friends regularly. I have heard from other aromantic (and demiromantic, which is a similar thing you can look up if you're interested) people that they sometimes feel pangs like that though, like they'll see a couple being sweet to each other in public and get a feeling like, "when's my turn to get a partner? when do I get that?" and I don't. It just depends on the individual. You gotta remember- anyone who is aromantic, demiromantic, asexual, and all that kind of stuff is dealing with a pretty abnormal situation. There are some common terms and labels people have come up with to sort us into identifiable types, but generally it's safe to assume if you've met one asexual person, you have no great insight into the way other asexual people are, and the same goes for aromanticism. I actually am a specific subtype of aromantic called, "duraromantic". We experience little to no romantic attraction, but if we DO end up feeling romantic attraction, it's VERY intense, and tends to last for a long time even after the relationship ends. For example, I had a lovely date with a woman 2 and a half years ago, and I was intensely in love with her for over a year and a half even though she just kinda led me on for a few months and then ghosted me after that. I've only been in love a few times, and it tends to hit me completely by surprise when it comes along. If you wanna look into this more, it's fairly easy to do so, specifically the aromantic stuff. A lot of people wanna gatekeep asexuality, but aromantics tend to be more easygoing and willing to talk about stuff, in my experience.
@@Tom-j1v I've never heard the term duraromantic, but it sounds a little bit like "aro-spike" (when someone has 0 attraction normally, but they have short periods when they have super intense attraction). It's interesting to read a perspective of an allo-aro man, it's not something I see a lot online. I'm ace and somewhere on the aro spectrum, but I have no idea where so I just go with greyromantic. Now I'm struggling because someone is absolutely obssessed with me and I'm really scared if I'm capable of reciprocating, I don't want to lose them.
The timing of this video is crazy. I’m 22 and I come from a lot of childhood trauma and as a result; it’s affected most of my relationships. it’s allowed me to feel like I’m incapable of love because I’ve chosen wrong people to be with or simply just wasn’t compatible with them. Most of these experiences have allowed me to look inward and love on myself a little bit extra because not only do I deserve it but I wanna show up as my best self for my future partner.
Thank you for sharing so openly! It sounds like you’ve been on a powerful journey of self-discovery, and recognizing how your past has shaped you is huge. Learning to love yourself first is such a game-changer, and it’s inspiring to see how you’re putting in the work to show up as your best self. Do you feel like there are specific practices or habits that have helped you along the way? It’s awesome to hear about your progress, and I bet others could benefit from your insights, too! 🌱💫
@@Psych2go For me personally I’ve been getting in tune with my creative side. Writing, singing, dancing, cooking and many more things. the most important part is to always prioritize and check in with yourself; as focusing on what or who isn’t prioritizing you makes you lose your focus. Self care is so important. Meditation also helps a lot too! I think overall just spending extra alone time helps so you can gain clarity and introspection on self and what you want/ need and don’t want/ need.
Oh man I feel this. 32 years of wondering, trying to find a special someone, imagining, watching sappy romcoms and watching real relationship moments and getting none of them leaves me with a sense of giving up on occasion. Living life without that particular form of love just becomes common and normal, but I'm not giving up and keeping my mind on the fact that change is constant and things will eventually work out in that respect! I hope the rest of you looking for love will remember this too
Dude, I'm too busy looking for a way out of this nuthouse life that doesn't involve Truck-Kun or starting over in another screwed up world. "I'm mad as he'll, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
This came at the right time, I'm currently suffering from emotional numbness i can't feel hate nor do i feel love I'm just there like an emotion less robot 😢
I grew up with a strict dad and stepmom, it always felt to me like major restriction, like I couldn’t do what I liked doing to be happy at all, paired with a sociopath cousin who had a strange focus on sexual activities despite not actually knowing anything about them. It got to the point where I actually wrote “the note”. Now four or five years later, I notice that I can’t actually feel love for people and that my negative feelings are stronger to those around me.
Similar situation, Grew up in a strict and dysfunctional home. And I'm only 22 but I'm at the point of my life where I just don't have the desire to be in a relationship or to be loved. I have trouble with love as a topic in general even if it's not romantically. I even have trouble just saying the word out loud to anyone
seek therapy. dont let the negative feelings consume your life. stay away from the negative people who gave you troubles. i felt much better after moving away from my parents few years ago. im now seeking therapy to heal my childhood trauma.
After being with my husband for close to 40 years & being married to him & only him for close to 36 years before he unfortunately passed away on April 22nd, '24. He was my EVERYTHING to me. I NO longer have anyone in my life. Now, I'm feeling numb to finding a new mate because I don't want to have to bury another spouse 😢. I finally accepted that I'll be alone until I die.
Are you alone? Or are you with the memories of your husband? It has been six years for me. I still regularly wish to ask her opinion and to have conversations with her. She was a wonderful partner and friend in so many ways. Our relationship and marriage wasn't as many years as yours. But she was my everything. My condolences. I wish you comfort and connection with friends and family. May you alway feel some form of love.
@@erniecolussy1705 I'm with the memories of my husband. His spirit still is with me in my heart ♥ & special Love songs come through 2 radio stations. So, I know he's still with me. His Spirit is also inside one of my Babies (stuffed animals).
I'm eighteen and I have never ever been in love, attracted to someone or even have a close friend. It's not that I feel empty, depressed or scared. I grew up happy with all of my siblings around.And because of that, every person I've met feels like a sibling to me.
Might want to look into "aromanticism". It's a real thing, there are lots of us (even in the comments here), and the fact that the video never even mentioned it is pretty disappointing.
That’s a blessing trust me, you don’t need the headache of a crush or falling for someone that doesn’t reciprocate. You’re lucky! If those things ever happen to you you’ll wish you could come back to this stage believe me, embrace it and enjoy your life. You don’t need romantic love 💯
Have you ever looked into being Aromantic? Even though, that is not about having sibling-like feeling but it does refer to not experiencing romantic attraction to any gender.
You could also be a demisexual, which means that you require an emotional connection to a person before anything else. Or like the comment above, anywhere on the spectrum from one end to A.C.E. Look it up. Or you just haven't met the right person yet…
It's worse after heartbreak and many don't care and many are in...ugh open or fwb type of relationship to prevent drama or connections. Sometimes it is the majority that seems wrong.
20 years of never seeing "the one" anywhere in life does a lot to a person. I've watched nearly all of my friends find partners, while I never even held someone's hand. This video at least reassured me that I'm not alone in this. Thank you ;) ❤
I'm glad I saw this pop up in my notifications and watched it because it feels validating to know others go through this too. I know for sure I haven't felt true love for anyone in that way so I stay clear of relationships. I feel like it just is a matter of timing, if you're going through this as well, you are not alone and you don't have to rush!
1. (00:00) Ever wonder why you can't feel love? Here’s why you feel "empty." 💔 2. (01:01) Love can’t be forced - real feelings come naturally. 🌱 3. (01:56) Going through a rough time? Don’t worry, timing matters. ⏳ 4. (02:23) Struggling to connect? Maybe it’s a deeper compatibility issue. 🔗 5. (03:19) Sometimes, we block ourselves from love out of fear. 💪 6. (04:17) Start with non-romantic love - friends and family count too! 👨👩👧👦 Don’t miss this insight on finding love! ⏰💖
The timing is so, so painful. Just when I thought I had finally fallen in love for the first time EVER, I hadn't. I'd only develloped feelings for the image of the person and the fantasy of being with them and not them as a person. Reflecting on this helped me realize that I haven't.. been treating them like a friend, but rather a means to an end. A potential partner, that might never be.. And it hurts. It hurts like hell, and that’s ok ! For which, I intent to work on allowing my perceived romantic feelings to fade over time (given that they have shown unclear signals about whether or not they feel the same way), not romanticising them (said feelings) and again - treating my friend - like a friend. At the end of the day, I feel guilty for being manipulative, even while I had no bad intentions in mind. Doing this will be beneficial for both our sakes and hey - maybe someone else will roll around, once I've learned more about healthy love or expressing my feelings in a healthy way (like i wasn't), so until then ! :]
Oof, timing really hit you with a curveball there! 😅 Sometimes these moments sneak up on us at the weirdest times. Think it's time for some introspection or just a rough day?
What if that came from love from first sight? What if you feel numb because you didn't know her enough, meaning that love seems too soon? What if you're used to being left behind and accepted that you're going to be left behind no matter what? What if you're hiding something from your girfriend that she needs to know? What if someone told you that Humans are bad people, causing you to be scared of them, despite their kindness? What if there's thing as evolution that this numbness is more of a sense of a red flag? What if you're not honest with your feelings? Does any what-ifs ring a bell? At least try to observe your memories. It's okay if you don't feel any love, but at least you'd know that she'd be there for you, even if you're feeling depressed. Ask her for help and her help for you may spark that she really does love you. Say that you need help how to become a great chef, and she would help you be a chef. Make sure the only thing you requested for is something you've been longing for in life and if it's worth it. That might spark that she loves you if she helped you with something that you requested. Money, games, entetrainment... disgusting, those requests won't help you at all. It'll add more numbness for a wrong request.
I felt a lot from this video, I lost multiple family members through the past few years and it's absolutely destroyed me inside. I'll be 40 next year and I really don't know what to do anymore, I've got good friends but they're all either married or in long term relationships and then there is me as the third wheel. I've never been that lucky in love so it's been a really difficult time for me the last few years and I'm so tired and weary. I sometimes feel like giving love the slip and just let it go then try and keep myself together somehow. Thank you for this video, it really gave me some perspective.
I've been avoiding this video, these thoughts.. thinking that maybe if I neglect them, if I don't think about them they won't bother me, I won't feel so worse but I guess, it just made the situation even worse, so today I'll be sitting down watching this video..nd be kind to myself..thank you ❤
I didn't knew I needed this vid. It kind'a hurts but I love it at the same time,💔💖 These lines just hits hard: "You're maybe trying to force yourself to love someone that you don't". "You might be on a difficult stage in your life; not just outside, but inside as well". "Sometimes, you fall in love with the wrong people, and sometimes, you don't love the right people". "It's normal to be unsure at any stage." "Your problem might not be that your numb to love, but rather that you can't relate to anyone around you. When it comes to love it takes more than just a few shared interest." "If you feel you want to love someone, that means you're capable of loving." "Maybe you aren't numb to love, but a little bit numb to a lot of positive things." "Depressive conditions can make you think you're incapable of being loved." "Love comes naturally so don't try to force it." Also, HOWL appearing there as your example made me laugh haha😄
I'm an Asexual, so I barely feel love. I found it odd that during Highschool I was the only one that didn't fell in love. Thought I was a late bloomer or something. But that's when I discovered that I was Aro/Ace.
I found out when I was finishing high school, to this day the need for a romantic relationship is none, I just found it strange how everyone managed to maintain a romantic relationship or develop one so quickly, most of my teenage years were based on "fake love", ending relationships was nothing to me, unless the other person gets hurt, now that I'm an adult, I try to sit down and wait for what life has in store for me, I just don't have the energy to be in a romantic relationship, I wouldn't say it's a goal to be achieved.
sometimes i feel like im so in love with other things in my life that there's no place for people. i love my work like anything else, it literally drives me forward in life and gives me so much please and satisfaction i fear its the only source of please and satisfaction for me. romantically i feel empty, dates feel like a chore, caring and texting feel like an appointment. people want so much: time, affection, energy. i push them away to not hurt them because i simply cant give it to them, and its been like this my whole life
Omfg this is sooo accuratee. Its not like i dont wanna date or fall in love. I just..dont think ill be able to handle the responsibilities that come along with dating
This is definitely how I feel, but it is reassuring to hear loving my family, especially my dad, serves as proof that I can love. I think I am just out of practice since he’s been gone for 14 years… over half my life. Everyone else has just not had the same understanding love. I only felt that with him and I think I was lucky for that. It was just too short.
I actually cried during this. As a person with depression, I can totally relate to this. I've already experienced rejection from my crush and I still can't get over it. The weird thing is, he has different personalities so sometimes he's mean, and then other times, he's nice. Honestly, I really hate being in love because I already know that nobody likes me back. But I still thrive to love everyone. I don't even love my parents most of the time though because of how often they yell at me for the littlest things. I question why parents are like this. Why do you want us to be perfect? Why can't we be ourselves? Why are you trying to change who we are?
This is a channel that actually provides me with (general) possibilities what it could be for me. I wondered the same about my general emotions before too - maybe there is something in my way, a past trauma, I'm just not aware of. Or maybe it's something entirely different.
I once had a girlfried, she was nice and all that. But when i grew up a little, things turned, we agrued about stuffs and it leads to our seperation. I was sad and alone that time till i found myself another lover out of her friends’ friends’ group. She was fine, i supposed. But later on, i decided to stop dating her since.. she has alot potential with her goals she made and i was just slowing her down. Both of them lasted about almost an year or so but it just hurts me alot back then. After watching this vid, it really matches my problem im facing. Maybe love is not coming for me right now but later. Thank you Psych2go for this wonderful video. Hope you post more videos like this ❤
I want to suggest: Please do include Aromanticism (orientation, spectrum) in this case as many may confuse it with numbness or incapability to feel (romantic) love
Yes I don't like to risking a heart break so I never really want to get into relationship with anyone. Often times, I feel the urge to evaluate my relationship with anyone wheter family, friends or romantic interest. "Am I too close?", "do they want us to get close?", "I think I am being too needy", "let's take a step back". Those are what my mind questioning every now and then. Never even dare called someone as my friend if I am not sure they want me to be their friend, or when thinking about upgrading from friend to best friend, regardless of how many times we hangouts, texts, and talk everyday. I believe it's partly because my parents doesn't really "love" me. They always value everything based on money, so they work hard but not there with me, instead they make me the parent of my siblings. Are we even rich after that so much work? Sadly no. I know we can be poorer if they don't work as much but at least I could feel their love, no?
Sometimes love feels like a lot of work and that you don't deserve it due to trauma and fear of being loved... Although you need it ... But too afraid to fall in love . But always remember there is 8.2 Billion person in the world ... If 1000 people didn't love you it is ok you still have 8.2 Billion -1000 person who love you ❤
I worried about this for way too long. If you are unable to love well, that's actually a great thing. Nothing to distract you or mess with your emotions. Friends, family, nobody really NEEDS that.
I feel so deeply to this. I've been in a toxic past and I've tried to move on, stay away from love or make new friends or dates, nothing worked. Even though Im jealous of couples outside, practically hate romatic movies, even thiugh I say to my friends I hate being single and I wish to get into relationship, the moment I get that feeling for someone, the moment I get that feeling, I push it and shove it away and ignore the person. Its like I want to love but I dont want it. Its a weird mixed feeling. And weirdly I get emotionally invested in heartbreak stories more than romantic ones.
This is exactly what I needed. I always feel that I might have a chance with someone but then it ends up just being a close friendship, even if I'd made myself seem more than that to them. I've just never felt a strong deep connection to someone that makes me want them to stay. I really don't have trouble with break up's.
I agree with what everything this video is saying. I am numb to love completely because I was always told by my parents that I was never worthy of love, but yet my siblings were worthy of it. That broke my heart faster than any man ever did. So this is why I will never date again.
I’ve been dealing with emotional numbness and constant emptiness for years since my grandad died in 2017. I somehow managed to get a girlfriend about 5 months ago…for all of 5 days before she dumped me without even telling me. Seriously, my friends told me she dumped me. I felt betrayed, like no one would ever care about me enough to love me. She tried telling me to stay friends, but that’s not something I can easily forgive. I’m terrified that future relationships I get into will end up the same, me getting dumped and ending up in the same spot I was in before. No wonder I clicked on this Godspeed.
Timestamps 1). Practicing love doesn't work 1:04 2). It's not a good time 1:40 3). Difficulty relating rather than loving 2:26 4). Getting in your own way 3:14 5). Dysfunctions in primary relationships 3:57 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I relate to some of the things that were said, and when i figured out why i felt numb to love, i found this video. No matter how smitten the guys that have came by me were, I always felt so hollow to love, which is one reason to why im not dating anyone at this point of time. The hallowness i was feeling impacted my feelings in these ways: 1. It took me a while to figure out my feelings whenever someone liked me, only to realize i never actually had feelings for them. 2. A CERTAIN past experience. For example with a certain guy who was in the grey line of being my boyfriend before (He had a fwb.) 3. While i did kinda consider relationships before, i was aromantic and did not care about relationships for the longest time ever. 4. Trust issues that came from experience To start this off, a different guy from summer break had feelings for me, which was when i started to experience the hallowness more than before. It took me a while to figure out my feelings towards him. I procrastinated in telling him right away that i did not feel the same way as he saw me, because he wasnt in the best state by that time. I felt like if i told him, it would only make him feel worse. I genuinely felt bad for him. I do not exactly know how long we talked (im guessing approximately 20+ days?) After those days of talking, i felt nothing at all to the point that we both moved on. Once we moved on, i took all the time i needed to reflect on myself as to what ive been feeling that i did not know i was feeling back then. Hallowness was what ive been feeling this whole time, and it has impacted my chances in getting into an actual relationship. I most recently found this out about myself. Remember that guy that had a fwb? Thats one of the guys that had feelings for me before. I also took a while to figure out my feelings to him. Being aromantic for a while affected how i would feel about him in return as i was also not ready for a relationship by that time too. This is another thing I also found out about myself too. Due to being aromantic and not ready for relationships for a while, i realized i wasnt completely used to someone having feelings for me, as it took toll on me. Not only that, i kinda felt skeptical about that guy because he had different beliefs compared to me. He has also told me and some other people things he did that me and another friend of mine thought was a joke only to realize it was never a joke. It was really hard for me to decide how i would feel about him in return until i talked to my Godmother about it. I dont remember a lot of the things she said, but i think she did say something about giving him a chance. It made me feel a bit ready than before. When i told him that i would date him someday, thats when he told me right after that he had a friend with benefits. I laughed at first, but when the weeks and days passed, it started to hurt me, knowing how nice of a person he seemed and how he depended on me emotionally, as part of me took a little while to get over him completely. As i felt shocked and sad, i started to question myself when i would ever find love. Not only that, i even had trust issues due to all this happening. I even realized trust issues and my past experiences are what affected me and my feelings to the other guy that liked me, so to simply say this… this specific experience is what caused me to feel hollow towards love, alongside with just being aro and being specific with what i want. Thats also where the trust issues came from. Everything is all okay now and i have gotten over with what has happened to me. Another thing I realized about myself is that in order for me to be attracted to someone is that if the person gives me the connection i want. Perhaps something deep or to the point i feel like i and the person relates to each other. This includes having a few deep convos, like religion for example. Although i am ok now, i still kinda question when i will ever find true love and my specific person alongside with a small part of me worrying if i will still feel hollow after what has happened to me.. Overall… finding things out about myself is kinda oddly refreshing in a way..
This is so perfectly timed, I've recently felt like I came to the realisation that I seem to not feel any love! There seems to be a lack of it? No matter with who, even in plantonic relationships. I still seem to do SOME things, like appreciation for someone, but that's about it. Even then it feels like there's a feeling missing. I do come from a rather broken home and I'm diagnosed with depression, plus I'm a very paranoid person, been told that this stuff might numb it 😞 I don't know what to do
You need to discuss this stuff with someone. A lot of people use help from a psychotherapist exactly for this reason, but many of us don't have that luxury. The only person that is guaranteed to have all the answers is you. You grew up with you, you spend your whole life with you, and you're gonna have to trust you if you want to live a happy life. If you want to try that by yourself (maybe, you have no one else to trust), make sure the atmosphere for these discussions is the most comfortable to you. The main principle is that when you're vulnerable, you should quickly realise that there's nothing in that atmosphere to hurt you. There should be absolutely no judgement, keep reminding yourself that all your actions are justified by something and you're here to listen and help you figure out that something. You are supposed to be your best friend by default after all, and that is fact. Don't blame everything on yourself and don't blame everything on others, try to look through the stuff objectively, as if from the outside perspective, based on actual facts and not conjecture, not something you only think but don't know for sure. Keep in mind that it's okay to not know stuff, but it's not okay to not want to know stuff. Start by discussing what you like, not necessarily about yourself, just stuff you like. Try to figure out why you like this or that, if you do that for a little bit, that should make you more eager to talk to yourself about stuff that you don't like about yourself, and the important thing is not to ask "why am I like this", but to ask "why does it bother me so much". I did all that recently, largely by luck and a bit involuntarily, but after I discussed stuff with myself, what I like, what I don't like and why, I suddenly saw the reasons behind my actions, the puzzle of all the stuff about myself started falling into place. I warn you, you will cry, that's why it's very important to have a safe not-judging atmosphere for that. Only after doing that you can work on the safe environment where you can test your new knowledge about yourself. I'm still pretty much high on that feeling of having found myself after all these years, and I gotta tell you, it feels like no drug will ever feel. That's the good shit. And you deserve to have that feeling. Psych2Go had a video recently on why sadness feels addictive, I can tell you first hand, everything in that video pretty much applied to my experience. If you have any questions, ask me, since I just dumped it all on you, and I don't even know if you asked for that much. If you're not ready for all this, I understand, but at least, think about it in the future
I personally only feel this way with family. I told this person once, i cannot say "i love you" to my own mother, it's something that i've never heard coming out of her mouth and it always felt weird when other people talk proudly about their parents. I cannot understand how that must feel since i have never experienced that myself.
Had to sit through this one. After being abandoned 3 years ago, I am not sure if I want to love again. I keep hearing people tell me that I'll find it again, but I don't know if I want to since I'm not even looking.
Well I’m not lonely but love isn’t in me… I am super logical and in turn mimic what others do, it worked in my younger years at least and got me by. I am super happy for those around me and their love and relationships but who knows it’s not something that catches my attention and I always wondered if it wasn’t for me. This gave me a bit of insight, thank you.
It’s like I can feel it but I can’t at the same time, I can’t even describe it but it’s been hurting my relationship with my family and this video helped a bit so thanks a lot
This hits home for me, been dealing with emotional numbness and I've been trying to recover from a breakup that happened months ago, I can't help but feel very guilty for hurting my ex partner but I knew I didn't feel the same way he felt for me because he did his best for me, and I'm grateful for that but I couldn't force myself to love him. So this helps.
Love is when you like something in someone, for example you love a person because of him/her being funny or loyal, love also includes caring about that person. I hope this helped you!
This honestly hits hard for me. When it came to love for me, I felt like when I actually fell in love, it all goes by so fast, and next thing before I know it, it was over before it even started. Thx again for this video..
Apathy has been on the rise, due to how intolerant people are... some are literally too narcissistic or antisocial to want love. Egoism as also been on the rise anywhere. Self image over caring and feeling for someone else.
Or people just aren't as afraid to go it alone. The social delusion that one must find a partner seems to be on the decline. It's a good thing, especially when it comes to poor or unhealthy relationships. Better to be alone than in bad company. I certainly don't want a partner, sounds like too much work for not enough gain.
@@DuchessofEarlGrey you're a great example of what I just described. Antisocial, also a bit too much self love for yourself. You may see it as delusional but for some it is what they've been looking for all their lives. Some never getting what you can get easily. Have you ever thought of it that way?
@@DuchessofEarlGrey I highly doubt you'll be saying this. If you were alone and lonely everyday. If you'd elaborate/work with people daily, socialize to the point it drains you that is one thing. But could you handle being on your own emotionally/psychologically/physically daily? I'm sure, you are aware 95% of people could not handle the isolation during COVID. I can't say for you, but many couldn't however, what if those people who didn't have any loved ones or anything to lose and didn't catch it or knew anyone who suffered from it. Do you really embrace being a lone wolf as you stated. Just to avoid caring for another for yourself and your life only(?) Many lost it said it was the worst time of their lives, just from the temporary isolation during that time. Complaining when they could obviously use social media/gaming to connect.
@@keip4568 I relate with him and agree to a fault, shit, I've been alone by myself for years, am 24 right now, I'm too used to being by myself that I guess I fear a change in that way with being with someone but I don't believe there is loving ourselves too much, it does sound egotistical and narcissistic but, I'm definitely not that because I feel for people who are very sad and upset, when I am around people like that or people who are bitter I can feel their energy and most people are like that in this world now, most people are shallow as well, so why even pay attention or surround myself with a society like that, but I do know that there is a small percentage of people that I can still connect with eventually in the near future, sometimes I contradict myself with statements I make and I am self aware of that, Most of the things in this life are Very Subjective
I've had several people actually fall in love with me, however throughout the entire thing, I couldn't love them back. Nor did I really love anyone. I didn't feel loved either. I just felt, out of place.
It’s 11:47 am and I have been missing something for a long time (6 years). Great video ❤. This video relates to how I feel and how I think. Then again it the moment will come on its own. I need to work on myself first, than ending up in toxic relationships once again.
Thank you for sharing that! It sounds like you’re recognizing the importance of taking time for yourself and building a foundation of self-love and growth first. Six years is a long time, but it shows your strength and resilience-your moment will definitely come when the time is right. Are there specific things you’re focusing on to keep growing and healing? Wishing you all the best on your journey! ❤🌱
@@Psych2go yes thank you for asking. Focusing on my mental health, mood, attachment styles and ways to become a bit more productive. Thank you for your time! ❤️
I used to have a crush on someone when i was a child. She was like a star to me, and me, always chasing her, without her knowing. She didn't know about it, and neither did i showed signs of it. I was just obsessed with her presence. Just knowing that she was present that day of school felt like a achievement to me. Knowing that she's living her life without a care of the world, and without her knowing that someone is admiring her from the shadows. I never tried to approach her to confess. I never showed signs of falling in love with her, neither did she bother me. We both respected each other in our own ways. She now, is in the other side of the world, and me, lost all power to approach her anymore. The star that was so near, the star that i was chasing and could've had if i tried a lik bit harder, now is far away from me. And no matter what i do, isn't gonna help me reach out to her. Its been so long and im still afraid of trying to create a relationship, trying to reach out to her, feeling scared that she might leave me , even though she already did long ago(not that we were together in the first place). Now, im still waiting for a path to open up, someone to light up that candle that once led me to her, someone to just let me feel that feeling that i once had. Im burnt out , not because of work or study, but from the nostalgia from that memory of her, and its not on her, its on me. She already left, and aint coming back, nor i have the power to reach out to her anymore, and im just sulking in the corner everytime her name pops up in a random talk. I made myself numb from the fact that i once loved her, fom the fact that i could had a chance, but that naive me back then didn't know. Its been years now, and i dont even remember her physically, but i still see her in everyone. Looking at anyone who has even a lil bit of vibe that ahe would give makes me sad, makes me feel regret for something thats now a past, and its overdramatic. I vant even talk about this to my family or friends. They just wont try understanding it, and i don't want to bother them at all. I lost all interest in talking with anyone about love, any talk about life, and any talk that might make me remember her.. I dont even know if i can still feel live or not anymore. Everytime i think of approaching someone just to talk, she pops up the first thing in my mind. I've been surfing along my life just fine, doing the routine that i am in , without any change. And thinking abiut change scares me, thinking that the change might make me forget her, and that fear, its stopping me from moving.. because the nostalgia feeling is so comfortable and the pain that it gives me , in used to it, and thinking about changing just makes me scared, it makes me feel like im gonna lose who i am.
My thing is that I've been single for so long, because of frequent rejection, that I don't actually believe that romance and affection are meant for me, and all that time without feeling those things has made me forget what it felt like and now all I feel regarding romantic love is nothingness. And actually it's not bad. I've been wanting to feel this for a long time. Just sucks that it took so long to finally meet this endgame of love apathy.
People forget that their bodies don't stop changing. I'm 41 and looking at approaching menopause. When my mother went through that, she got very emotional like a teenager, so I wonder what that is going to do for me.
I have autism, so a lot of times it feels like I can't control how I react to things, which is frustrating. One part of my mind is logical and aware of things, and is like "What the heck are you doing?" when observing what the rest of my mind is having me do.
This is an interesting topic. It's always at night that that feeling sets in. There isn't someone to hold or cuddle. But during the day it's not there. I feel like needing love is basically essential for survival especially as we get older.
You should make a video on complementary personality’s because you mentioned it in the video but I really don’t understand complementary personality’s.
First, you need to find a personality. Most sheeple don't have any IME, not your problem. Really, be patient. Someone will come or not. God is really a cunt. So don't count on any help. Keep your eyes open. And life will find a way. 😉
I've been in a relationship since almost 3 months now and I feel like I don't love enough. I want that girl, I want her love, she makes me feel happy and I think the fact that I think about this and that I get sad or anxious about it tells me that I really do love her so much but it doesn't feel like I'm loving her enough.
Hey..first time viewer here, this video is helping me a bunch, as someone who has difficulty loving. This video actually made me cry because I felt like someone understood exactly how I was feeling, as I have difficulty showing people that I love them. I need some help, if anyone’s willing to read this comment. I’m in a crazy situation and I think I’m feeling underlying overwhelming feelings. I juggle multiple tasks in a day-to-day things. I’m a UA-camr, blogger, aspiring author, student, girlfriend, eldest of 3, and have multiple underlying (kinda muted) mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, adhd, perfectionism). I have been handling them fine, but I think it’s beginning to catch up to me. What should I do? I do not wanna give up any of these things because I love them and they’re part of who I am. But there’s also this and the additional stress of planning for my future for adulthood…is something wrong with me? Is this a normal part of life?
as a aromantic person i feel a lot of people feeling numb are caught in that society perspective of love is only connected to romance and anything other isn't that much important. But thats what movies, parents and social media teaches us feel that "love to some special" or "you need someone special". I personally have no attraction to romance love but i feel a strong attraction to other forms of love like you platonic love.
The video helped a lot because a person who I loved and confess to said I don’t know how to love it made me feel like maybe I don’t have the emotion to feel love and express it but I know I’m capable of love, love come in different expressions and physical interactions I just haven’t found the right person who understands me and love me for me it’s just not the right time yet.
Fir me, it isn’t numbness, its straight up fear. I was deeply betrayed by everyone close to me all within three years after my dad passed away. Its left me fearful of ever opening up again, i feel like, the loneliness is less painful than going through that again.
I’m 23, and I don’t even think I’ve had a crush on anyone before. There was once a boy who I THOUGHT I had a crush on, I’d get nervous around him, self conscious when he would sit next to me, symptoms that seem like having a crush on someone (right?). But after he started to date my friend, I stopped feeling that way towards him, and didn’t really feel sad or angry that he was dating my friend. In fact, I felt more comfortable now being around him now that he was dating her. I still think about it today. Because if I did like him (based on what I felt around him) why did I not feel any negative emotion? People feel sad, angry, jealous, or any negative emotion to when their crush dates someone else, no? I didn’t feel any of those things, so does that mean I never liked him? I really am strange😂
Exact opposite of mine. 1. Never dated who I admired back then - Somehow, still suspicious and all I admire made me sink in pain. 2. At the 1st sight, I thought that they consider me as a dangerous person because of reading what I think and clearly knew I've had to gain it. 3. I feel uncomfortable when I don't know what's going on but a complete separation makes it comforting. 4. I feel like, I'm unlovable even though I yearn for it. Normally, my approach of interactions is not good and sometimes they all appear to me as manipulative. I think I'm obnoxious and rather weird.
During my first relationship I was head over heels for the guy but he ended up losing interest. I still tried for a long time only to be met with short one word replies & long periods waiting for him to reply. That went on for 2 & a half years. Fast forward to 4 years later & a new guy who had a huge crush on me rolled around, we were together for about 8 months. I was hoping maybe I’d eventually fall for him but that didn’t happen, it also didn’t help that he was obsessively clingy, abusive, & controlling. At the time I didn’t realize how abusive he really was until my therapist pointed out so I just thought there was something wrong with me since I couldn’t love him. It’s been 2 years since then & I’ve met someone new, I feel the same love towards him as I did towards the first guy from when I was in High School.
I feel numb to love but at the same time have dreams about me being in a relationship with man who is obsessed with me and his smile is like a rainbow and he has this sunshine and warm aura around him. But as soon as i open my eyes pufff... everything was a dream😭
As a young adult myself, I struggle with love. Even with love for God. My family is not so emotional. Romantic relationships and friendships often fail because of my health problems and forcing things, even if I didn't like the person that much. But now, without forcing myself and being honest with myself - I feel better. I'm trying to care more about my future and engage in things that I often didn't do before, while I was looking for reasons not to do them before. I know that everything has its time, especially love, and when I am ready, it will come to me ^^
This video was a physical manifestation of the mantra going through my head for the last several years. Unfortunately for me, it hasn't worked. You spoke about how if we care about our family or close friends, that is the first spark of love (paraphrased). Yeah, no, that's not me. I very rarely feel love for anyone, anything really (as has been the case as long as I can remember), and have pretty much accepted that at this point. (Yes I have sought professional help and no it did not help)
I've been numb for years and honestly I don't care about my emotions anymore and in my opinion I don't think I have any love in my heart and I just don't give a damn about anyone or love anymore
Sure you do. It's probably just very deeply buried. Instead of trying to " love" humans, try food, nature. I love this burger. I love how the geese fly. I love storms. Etc.
Could be stress, avoidancy, or over exposure torwards something that causes the numbness. More so due to trauma probably. Either way, there isn't anything wrong with you, as we experience more things that tend to have hurt us emotionally, we tend to close up and grow thick skin inorder to cover our wounds. Sometimes we tend be aware of what makes us avert from something and sometimes we don't. So, despite this, you could try to take things one step a time, which is what I think JacquelineGoodspeed was trying put it as.
I thought this would apply to my experiences, but no, you don't need to be depressed or a sociopath or traumatized to be unable to love. I personally believe i'm none of those things, and yet i feel no romantic attraction to anyone, i feel no platonic love for anyone, and i feel no familial love for anyone. My friends and family haven't done anything bad, i just don't believe i love them in the slightest. I tolerate them and it's easy to do so, but there's no underlying feeling of love. When my mother says "i love you" i say "i love you too" not because i actually do, but because that's the normal thing to do. This was brought to light when i was asked by my aunt, who was trying to prove i'm not a sociopath, "do you feel anything when you say i love you to your mom", and i was shocked. Not that they had the gaul to suggest i couldn't feel that feeling that people apparently get when they tell others they love them, but because i had NO idea what they were talking about. I still lied and said i did though. Gotta keep the optics. Anyway, this video seemed to be more of a "what is keeping me from loving like i know i can" instead of a "why can't i feel 'love'?"
I don't know what wrong with me I stop caring about anything I don't care how I look dress I can't feel embarrassed anymore I am just so depressed because anytime tried to get better something always do something to make my life worst
This about feeling hardship to love even family members really got to me. I've always had a really tough relationship with my parents, my mom especially. They neglected me in a really bad time of my early teens (bullying and depression), only reaching to help when I was like almost ending myself. I've always felt so kind of resend because of it, because they knew how bad it was, but thought i could handle it on my own. And this made me shut down to any kind of relationship, i feel like I can't bound/trust anyone. Im 22, i drop out of college twice already, the only thing going on in my life is work related. I cut contact with friends, don't go out at all. Be around people seem suffocating and overwhelming. I feel like I'm existing. I feel like a failure. Yes I'm in therapy lol.
Grate video, one that I didentit realise I needed to watch until now More towards a younger audience but as relatable to grown ups - we don't really grow up just keep trying the best we can
Never been kissed, never done the deed, never had a relationship am 30 and feel like life is passing me by i dont have a job currently cause of my physical condition continues to get worse every year never had any plans to the future since i feel like sometimes i just want to end it and dont see a point to keep struggling anymore am tired and frustrated with life i just want some happiness in this life even if it is only momentary guess others are more lucky than me but is what it is i suppose
One extra advice: have you tried re-evaluating your sexuality? Chances are your sexual preferences have changed, whether you may be attracted to a different sex, or you have a specific love language that no one has shown you yet. Also, it could be some variation of asexuality. You probably want to love, but not in a sexual or romantic way. Take time to think about it.
i don’t care if it’s the wrong time, i’m so sick and frustrated of everyone experiencing all their firsts yet i can’t seem to get past a talking stage. I’ve been in foster care since i was fourteen years old and moved around often. I have 0 foundational relationships of any kind, i’m exhausted “waiting for the right time” because it’s never been the right time. It’s beyond frustrating, it’s enraging.
Can you do a video about all the social problems that stems from ADHD? (Time-blindness, oversharing, too empathetic to a point that I put others’ priorities ahead of mine)
What time is it right now and what's on your mind? Comment below. We will reply to everyone, because we want to hear your thoughts.
HALO
It’s 12:47 and Im wondering how you are
Bro i cant sleep my mind wont let me its a problem
Tired of how love is nowadays and many don't want a relationship due to drama so they want fwb or open relationships...
It seems not just 'you' but the world doesn't want love or some even can be gold diggers so they create stigma for or to gain someone they desire.
@@LeosIntrovertedSister Doing pretty well. Managing emotions the best we can like most human beings on earth. Is that in PM or AM? It's 1:51 AM here. How about yourself?
1:06 Practicing love doesn't work
1:42 It's not a good time
2:28 Difficulty relating rather than loving
3:15 Getting in your own way
3:59 Dysfunctions in primary relationships
I hope both sides of your pillow are cold tonight & every night coming forth 🙏
Thanks a lot I've been dealing with a lot, suicidal depression, anxiety, emotional wounds and many more
I got you! I’m really sorry you’re going through all of this-it’s seriously tough dealing with that mix of things. But hey, even on the darkest days, there are people who actually want to help you, and it’s okay to lean on them. You don’t have to face this all on your own, so take it one small step at a time, and don’t be afraid to reach out when you need someone in your corner. Sending a big virtual high-five (or hug if that’s more your style) to remind you you’re not alone in this! 💪🌈
I struggle with that on the daily
Same here.
I know, what you're talking about..so I just want to quote..“Only in the darkness can you see the stars.”
I hope you are ok and that you are getting professional help and surrounded by loved ones 😊
Never clicked on a video so fast
same
fr
Same here
I mean this is one of the number ones for me, as other titles (from this channel) made me wonder that too.
literally. I was watching something else and I instantly stopped caring about it when I saw this title
Speaking as an aromantic man who didn't understand that was a THING until a few years ago, you may also just not have a typical amount of romantic love to give out. There's a MASSIVE difference between being a heartless person and just not having MUCH romantic love in your heart. For people like me, trying to give that love out to anyone who wants your attention, or wants you sexually, or whatever, can be crippling. You should show love to someone when it FEELS right, because as the video says, you can't practice love- it's not a skill. Love is organic. Hearts aren't machines running on a schedule- you're a reactive being, and if you're aromantic like me, demiromantic, or any of the other categories of romantic orientation that experience less frequent romantic bonds, or take longer to form them, that doesn't mean that you're broken. I used to think I was, even once I'd accepted I was aromantic, but before I had words for it. Then I actually DID fall in love, and I thought that love was fixing me. But that person I fell in love with was tricking me, using the fact I didn't understand romance well (media portrayals of love do a lot of damage to aromantic people, lemme tell ya) to reel me in and control me.
I don't say all that to try and scare people away from love- I'm actually just falling in love again now, and this time with someone who's right for me. Even those of us who aren't pulled to other people can still end up with someone good for us, someone who'll care for us and let us care for them. If you're able to have healthy friendships, familial relationships, and even working relationships, but you don't really FEEL romantic love- maybe that's just not a form of love you need to chase. Maybe, in time, it'll come to you.
thank you, i think you're explanation suits the question better than the video.
@@matufujiwara7493 To be fair, I have a genius IQ, 10 years of my life have been spent in therapy, I'm skilled at writing, and I'm aromantic myself. I think Psych2Go is doing their best, but thank you very much. :)
So can you fall in love as a aromantic person?, Also I've been wondering, when it comes to asexual people, they don't feel sexual attraction to anyone so that means they're not really interested in having sex with anyone right?, So if we talk about aromantic people, does that mean they're not interested in having romantic relationship with anyone?, Do aromantic people feel lonely because of this (because of not being able to have a romantic relationship with someone)??, Do they feel the emptiness inside their chest that makes them think they need to be with someone? Or simply they just don't care and don't feel such thing?, like i said, asexual people wouldn't want or care to have sex with someone since they're not interested, so what about aromantic people when it comes to dating somone/be in a romantic relationship with anyone
@@alsimanche Well, these things exist on a spectrum. I'm aromantic. This means I don't experience romantic ATTRACTION, but does not necessarily mean I'm romance REPULSED (I'm not, I'm cool with people heaping romantic affection on me, they're just gonna have to be cool with the fact that I'm kinda weird when I return it, a bit graceless in my case). Similarly, asexual people can be sex-repulsed (I've known one who wasn't though, and they just felt like sex was a physically enjoyable activity. They once likened it to a fun pick up game of soccer- not something they go looking for, but if someone they like wants to do it with them, they're usually interested).
While most people DO experience romantic attraction, I don't, which basically means most people are looking for someone to have a romantic relationship with, and I don't feel compelled to do that. Some of us actively hate people directing romantic affection at us (as I mentioned, the term is romance-repulsed) so people like that who experience sexual attraction are specifically looking for hookups as opposed to relationships. It's worth noting this is NOT the same thing as having relationship trauma- some people don't want to be in relationships because they're scared of them, people like me just don't feel a NEED for them like most people do.
Some of us are what is typically called, "aroace" which is aromantic/asexual at the same time, and those people basically just value platonic friendships in the same slot they'd normally hold romantic connections.
I personally am a polyamorous aromantic allosexual (allosexual being the word for someone who experience sexual attraction- you know, like most of us). I'm actually also hypersexual, meaning I experience INTENSE sex drive (I have to jerk off multiple times a day just to keep my mood stable most of the time, it's a lot). If I had partners, I'd set boundaries about what kind of things we could do with regards to the poly part, but for me it's mostly just, "don't have unprotected sex with randos because I don't want STDs".
To answer your question about loneliness- some of us do feel lonely because we don't have a close connection like that, yes, but at least for me, that loneliness fades even just if I get to hang out with my friends regularly. I have heard from other aromantic (and demiromantic, which is a similar thing you can look up if you're interested) people that they sometimes feel pangs like that though, like they'll see a couple being sweet to each other in public and get a feeling like, "when's my turn to get a partner? when do I get that?" and I don't. It just depends on the individual. You gotta remember- anyone who is aromantic, demiromantic, asexual, and all that kind of stuff is dealing with a pretty abnormal situation. There are some common terms and labels people have come up with to sort us into identifiable types, but generally it's safe to assume if you've met one asexual person, you have no great insight into the way other asexual people are, and the same goes for aromanticism.
I actually am a specific subtype of aromantic called, "duraromantic". We experience little to no romantic attraction, but if we DO end up feeling romantic attraction, it's VERY intense, and tends to last for a long time even after the relationship ends. For example, I had a lovely date with a woman 2 and a half years ago, and I was intensely in love with her for over a year and a half even though she just kinda led me on for a few months and then ghosted me after that. I've only been in love a few times, and it tends to hit me completely by surprise when it comes along.
If you wanna look into this more, it's fairly easy to do so, specifically the aromantic stuff. A lot of people wanna gatekeep asexuality, but aromantics tend to be more easygoing and willing to talk about stuff, in my experience.
@@Tom-j1v I've never heard the term duraromantic, but it sounds a little bit like "aro-spike" (when someone has 0 attraction normally, but they have short periods when they have super intense attraction). It's interesting to read a perspective of an allo-aro man, it's not something I see a lot online. I'm ace and somewhere on the aro spectrum, but I have no idea where so I just go with greyromantic. Now I'm struggling because someone is absolutely obssessed with me and I'm really scared if I'm capable of reciprocating, I don't want to lose them.
The timing of this video is crazy. I’m 22 and I come from a lot of childhood trauma and as a result; it’s affected most of my relationships. it’s allowed me to feel like I’m incapable of love because I’ve chosen wrong people to be with or simply just wasn’t compatible with them. Most of these experiences have allowed me to look inward and love on myself a little bit extra because not only do I deserve it but I wanna show up as my best self for my future partner.
Thank you for sharing so openly! It sounds like you’ve been on a powerful journey of self-discovery, and recognizing how your past has shaped you is huge. Learning to love yourself first is such a game-changer, and it’s inspiring to see how you’re putting in the work to show up as your best self. Do you feel like there are specific practices or habits that have helped you along the way? It’s awesome to hear about your progress, and I bet others could benefit from your insights, too! 🌱💫
@@Psych2go For me personally I’ve been getting in tune with my creative side. Writing, singing, dancing, cooking and many more things. the most important part is to always prioritize and check in with yourself; as focusing on what or who isn’t prioritizing you makes you lose your focus. Self care is so important. Meditation also helps a lot too! I think overall just spending extra alone time helps so you can gain clarity and introspection on self and what you want/ need and don’t want/ need.
So we're all just 22 going through the same thing huh?
@@Sshynx I guess so 😭it gets better with time though! You’re not alone
@@tatithetrippihippi thanks 😭
Oh man I feel this. 32 years of wondering, trying to find a special someone, imagining, watching sappy romcoms and watching real relationship moments and getting none of them leaves me with a sense of giving up on occasion. Living life without that particular form of love just becomes common and normal, but I'm not giving up and keeping my mind on the fact that change is constant and things will eventually work out in that respect!
I hope the rest of you looking for love will remember this too
Dude, I'm too busy looking for a way out of this nuthouse life that doesn't involve Truck-Kun or starting over in another screwed up world.
"I'm mad as he'll, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
32 years wow
This came at the right time, I'm currently suffering from emotional numbness i can't feel hate nor do i feel love I'm just there like an emotion less robot 😢
Same
Congratulations bro. You are the product of what happens when you show humane feelings to women.
So what did we learn today?
I grew up with a strict dad and stepmom, it always felt to me like major restriction, like I couldn’t do what I liked doing to be happy at all, paired with a sociopath cousin who had a strange focus on sexual activities despite not actually knowing anything about them. It got to the point where I actually wrote “the note”. Now four or five years later, I notice that I can’t actually feel love for people and that my negative feelings are stronger to those around me.
Similar situation, Grew up in a strict and dysfunctional home. And I'm only 22 but I'm at the point of my life where I just don't have the desire to be in a relationship or to be loved. I have trouble with love as a topic in general even if it's not romantically. I even have trouble just saying the word out loud to anyone
seek therapy. dont let the negative feelings consume your life. stay away from the negative people who gave you troubles. i felt much better after moving away from my parents few years ago. im now seeking therapy to heal my childhood trauma.
@@JH-jb6yoi feel the same way I sincerely can’t say I love you to any one of my relatives
After being with my husband for close to 40 years & being married to him & only him for close to 36 years before he unfortunately passed away on April 22nd, '24. He was my EVERYTHING to me. I NO longer have anyone in my life. Now, I'm feeling numb to finding a new mate because I don't want to have to bury another spouse 😢. I finally accepted that I'll be alone until I die.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
🙏🙏
I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤️🩹
Are you alone? Or are you with the memories of your husband?
It has been six years for me. I still regularly wish to ask her opinion and to have conversations with her. She was a wonderful partner and friend in so many ways. Our relationship and marriage wasn't as many years as yours. But she was my everything.
My condolences. I wish you comfort and connection with friends and family. May you alway feel some form of love.
@@erniecolussy1705 I'm with the memories of my husband. His spirit still is with me in my heart ♥ & special Love songs come through 2 radio stations. So, I know he's still with me. His Spirit is also inside one of my Babies (stuffed animals).
I'm eighteen and I have never ever been in love, attracted to someone or even have a close friend. It's not that I feel empty, depressed or scared. I grew up happy with all of my siblings around.And because of that, every person I've met feels like a sibling to me.
Might want to look into "aromanticism". It's a real thing, there are lots of us (even in the comments here), and the fact that the video never even mentioned it is pretty disappointing.
That’s a blessing trust me, you don’t need the headache of a crush or falling for someone that doesn’t reciprocate. You’re lucky! If those things ever happen to you you’ll wish you could come back to this stage believe me, embrace it and enjoy your life. You don’t need romantic love 💯
Have you ever looked into being Aromantic?
Even though, that is not about having sibling-like feeling but it does refer to not experiencing romantic attraction to any gender.
You could also be a demisexual, which means that you require an emotional connection to a person before anything else.
Or like the comment above, anywhere on the spectrum from one end to A.C.E. Look it up.
Or you just haven't met the right person yet…
You're 18, youre a kid. Totally normal, you have plenty of time dont stress
It's worse after heartbreak and many don't care and many are in...ugh open or fwb type of relationship to prevent drama or connections.
Sometimes it is the majority that seems wrong.
I feel numb after a heartbreak, terrible
20 years of never seeing "the one" anywhere in life does a lot to a person.
I've watched nearly all of my friends find partners, while I never even held someone's hand. This video at least reassured me that I'm not alone in this.
Thank you ;) ❤
Wow this comment spoke to me
@RoseRedd-k4b ❤️🩹 ;)
I'm glad I saw this pop up in my notifications and watched it because it feels validating to know others go through this too.
I know for sure I haven't felt true love for anyone in that way so I stay clear of relationships. I feel like it just is a matter of timing, if you're going through this as well, you are not alone and you don't have to rush!
1. (00:00) Ever wonder why you can't feel love? Here’s why you feel "empty." 💔
2. (01:01) Love can’t be forced - real feelings come naturally. 🌱
3. (01:56) Going through a rough time? Don’t worry, timing matters. ⏳
4. (02:23) Struggling to connect? Maybe it’s a deeper compatibility issue. 🔗
5. (03:19) Sometimes, we block ourselves from love out of fear. 💪
6. (04:17) Start with non-romantic love - friends and family count too! 👨👩👧👦
Don’t miss this insight on finding love! ⏰💖
👍
The timing is so, so painful.
Just when I thought I had finally fallen in love for the first time EVER, I hadn't.
I'd only develloped feelings for the image of the person and the fantasy of being with them and not them as a person.
Reflecting on this helped me realize that I haven't.. been treating them like a friend, but rather a means to an end.
A potential partner, that might never be..
And it hurts. It hurts like hell, and that’s ok !
For which, I intent to work on allowing my perceived romantic feelings to fade over time (given that they have shown unclear signals about whether or not they feel the same way), not romanticising them (said feelings) and again - treating my friend - like a friend.
At the end of the day, I feel guilty for being manipulative, even while I had no bad intentions in mind.
Doing this will be beneficial for both our sakes and hey - maybe someone else will roll around, once I've learned more about healthy love or expressing my feelings in a healthy way (like i wasn't), so until then ! :]
Damn, getting this type of notif at 7pm after feeling nothing on a date with my gf hits hard
Oof, timing really hit you with a curveball there! 😅 Sometimes these moments sneak up on us at the weirdest times. Think it's time for some introspection or just a rough day?
What if that came from love from first sight? What if you feel numb because you didn't know her enough, meaning that love seems too soon? What if you're used to being left behind and accepted that you're going to be left behind no matter what? What if you're hiding something from your girfriend that she needs to know? What if someone told you that Humans are bad people, causing you to be scared of them, despite their kindness? What if there's thing as evolution that this numbness is more of a sense of a red flag? What if you're not honest with your feelings?
Does any what-ifs ring a bell? At least try to observe your memories. It's okay if you don't feel any love, but at least you'd know that she'd be there for you, even if you're feeling depressed. Ask her for help and her help for you may spark that she really does love you. Say that you need help how to become a great chef, and she would help you be a chef. Make sure the only thing you requested for is something you've been longing for in life and if it's worth it. That might spark that she loves you if she helped you with something that you requested. Money, games, entetrainment... disgusting, those requests won't help you at all. It'll add more numbness for a wrong request.
I felt a lot from this video, I lost multiple family members through the past few years and it's absolutely destroyed me inside.
I'll be 40 next year and I really don't know what to do anymore, I've got good friends but they're all either married or in long term relationships and then there is me as the third wheel.
I've never been that lucky in love so it's been a really difficult time for me the last few years and I'm so tired and weary.
I sometimes feel like giving love the slip and just let it go then try and keep myself together somehow.
Thank you for this video, it really gave me some perspective.
I've been avoiding this video, these thoughts.. thinking that maybe if I neglect them, if I don't think about them they won't bother me, I won't feel so worse but I guess, it just made the situation even worse, so today I'll be sitting down watching this video..nd be kind to myself..thank you ❤
I didn't knew I needed this vid. It kind'a hurts but I love it at the same time,💔💖
These lines just hits hard:
"You're maybe trying to force yourself to love someone that you don't".
"You might be on a difficult stage in your life; not just outside, but inside as well".
"Sometimes, you fall in love with the wrong people, and sometimes, you don't love the right people".
"It's normal to be unsure at any stage."
"Your problem might not be that your numb to love, but rather that you can't relate to anyone around you. When it comes to love it takes more than just a few shared interest."
"If you feel you want to love someone, that means you're capable of loving."
"Maybe you aren't numb to love, but a little bit numb to a lot of positive things."
"Depressive conditions can make you think you're incapable of being loved."
"Love comes naturally so don't try to force it."
Also, HOWL appearing there as your example made me laugh haha😄
I'm an Asexual, so I barely feel love. I found it odd that during Highschool I was the only one that didn't fell in love. Thought I was a late bloomer or something. But that's when I discovered that I was Aro/Ace.
Very cool. I didn't figure that I'm Aro/Ace until just a few years ago, my 40's! 🏳️🌈🧡💛🤍🩵💙
I didn't figure it out till my 30s, and frankly, stuff like this video that doesn't even mention the concept didn't help.
I found out when I was finishing high school, to this day the need for a romantic relationship is none, I just found it strange how everyone managed to maintain a romantic relationship or develop one so quickly, most of my teenage years were based on "fake love", ending relationships was nothing to me, unless the other person gets hurt, now that I'm an adult, I try to sit down and wait for what life has in store for me, I just don't have the energy to be in a romantic relationship, I wouldn't say it's a goal to be achieved.
sometimes i feel like im so in love with other things in my life that there's no place for people. i love my work like anything else, it literally drives me forward in life and gives me so much please and satisfaction i fear its the only source of please and satisfaction for me. romantically i feel empty, dates feel like a chore, caring and texting feel like an appointment. people want so much: time, affection, energy. i push them away to not hurt them because i simply cant give it to them, and its been like this my whole life
You're describing my life 😮
Omfg this is sooo accuratee. Its not like i dont wanna date or fall in love. I just..dont think ill be able to handle the responsibilities that come along with dating
This video made me realise that I'm somewhat numb to love.
Cool story bro
This is definitely how I feel, but it is reassuring to hear loving my family, especially my dad, serves as proof that I can love. I think I am just out of practice since he’s been gone for 14 years… over half my life. Everyone else has just not had the same understanding love. I only felt that with him and I think I was lucky for that. It was just too short.
I actually cried during this. As a person with depression, I can totally relate to this. I've already experienced rejection from my crush and I still can't get over it. The weird thing is, he has different personalities so sometimes he's mean, and then other times, he's nice. Honestly, I really hate being in love because I already know that nobody likes me back. But I still thrive to love everyone. I don't even love my parents most of the time though because of how often they yell at me for the littlest things. I question why parents are like this. Why do you want us to be perfect? Why can't we be ourselves? Why are you trying to change who we are?
You and me have the same life. I can relate a lot to you sending you ❤ you deserve to be happy❤🎉
You've been dealing with narcissistic parent abuse, it seems. Find a way to leave them, for your own good.,
The thing is, I'm too young to even move out. I don't have the responsibility to move out yet sadly.
Thank you for answering the questions that I've never heard an answer to for 21 years
This is a channel that actually provides me with (general) possibilities what it could be for me. I wondered the same about my general emotions before too - maybe there is something in my way, a past trauma, I'm just not aware of. Or maybe it's something entirely different.
Thank you so much for this video. I wasnt brave enough to talk about this situation and I am glad someone else was
I once had a girlfried, she was nice and all that. But when i grew up a little, things turned, we agrued about stuffs and it leads to our seperation. I was sad and alone that time till i found myself another lover out of her friends’ friends’ group. She was fine, i supposed. But later on, i decided to stop dating her since.. she has alot potential with her goals she made and i was just slowing her down.
Both of them lasted about almost an year or so but it just hurts me alot back then. After watching this vid, it really matches my problem im facing. Maybe love is not coming for me right now but later.
Thank you Psych2go for this wonderful video. Hope you post more videos like this ❤
Hi how old are you...
Been in long term relationships and they suck.
I want to suggest: Please do include Aromanticism (orientation, spectrum) in this case as many may confuse it with numbness or incapability to feel (romantic) love
When I saw the notif I immediately pressed play cuz I can relate to it.
Get a job
I really dont like me for the fact that i always become tired of people after spending enough time with them... .
Yes I don't like to risking a heart break so I never really want to get into relationship with anyone. Often times, I feel the urge to evaluate my relationship with anyone wheter family, friends or romantic interest. "Am I too close?", "do they want us to get close?", "I think I am being too needy", "let's take a step back". Those are what my mind questioning every now and then. Never even dare called someone as my friend if I am not sure they want me to be their friend, or when thinking about upgrading from friend to best friend, regardless of how many times we hangouts, texts, and talk everyday.
I believe it's partly because my parents doesn't really "love" me. They always value everything based on money, so they work hard but not there with me, instead they make me the parent of my siblings. Are we even rich after that so much work? Sadly no. I know we can be poorer if they don't work as much but at least I could feel their love, no?
Sometimes love feels like a lot of work and that you don't deserve it due to trauma and fear of being loved... Although you need it ... But too afraid to fall in love .
But always remember there is 8.2 Billion person in the world ... If 1000 people didn't love you it is ok you still have 8.2 Billion -1000 person who love you ❤
I worried about this for way too long. If you are unable to love well, that's actually a great thing. Nothing to distract you or mess with your emotions. Friends, family, nobody really NEEDS that.
There's a ice box where my heart used to be
This is definitely my predicament. I think love is just something that happens to other people.
the timing goes CRAAZZYYYY 😭😭😭
Number 5 resonates with me the most. I don’t feel of any sort of love from anyone anymore.
I feel so deeply to this. I've been in a toxic past and I've tried to move on, stay away from love or make new friends or dates, nothing worked. Even though Im jealous of couples outside, practically hate romatic movies, even thiugh I say to my friends I hate being single and I wish to get into relationship, the moment I get that feeling for someone, the moment I get that feeling, I push it and shove it away and ignore the person. Its like I want to love but I dont want it. Its a weird mixed feeling. And weirdly I get emotionally invested in heartbreak stories more than romantic ones.
This is exactly what I needed. I always feel that I might have a chance with someone but then it ends up just being a close friendship, even if I'd made myself seem more than that to them. I've just never felt a strong deep connection to someone that makes me want them to stay. I really don't have trouble with break up's.
I agree with what everything this video is saying. I am numb to love completely because I was always told by my parents that I was never worthy of love, but yet my siblings were worthy of it. That broke my heart faster than any man ever did. So this is why I will never date again.
I’ve been dealing with emotional numbness and constant emptiness for years since my grandad died in 2017. I somehow managed to get a girlfriend about 5 months ago…for all of 5 days before she dumped me without even telling me. Seriously, my friends told me she dumped me. I felt betrayed, like no one would ever care about me enough to love me. She tried telling me to stay friends, but that’s not something I can easily forgive. I’m terrified that future relationships I get into will end up the same, me getting dumped and ending up in the same spot I was in before. No wonder I clicked on this Godspeed.
Its nice to see that im not the only one to fakes love but doesnt know what it feels like
Timestamps
1). Practicing love doesn't work 1:04
2). It's not a good time 1:40
3). Difficulty relating rather than loving 2:26
4). Getting in your own way 3:14
5). Dysfunctions in primary relationships 3:57
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I relate to some of the things that were said, and when i figured out why i felt numb to love, i found this video. No matter how smitten the guys that have came by me were, I always felt so hollow to love, which is one reason to why im not dating anyone at this point of time.
The hallowness i was feeling impacted my feelings in these ways:
1. It took me a while to figure out my feelings whenever someone liked me, only to realize i never actually had feelings for them.
2. A CERTAIN past experience. For example with a certain guy who was in the grey line of being my boyfriend before (He had a fwb.)
3. While i did kinda consider relationships before, i was aromantic and did not care about relationships for the longest time ever.
4. Trust issues that came from experience
To start this off, a different guy from summer break had feelings for me, which was when i started to experience the hallowness more than before. It took me a while to figure out my feelings towards him. I procrastinated in telling him right away that i did not feel the same way as he saw me, because he wasnt in the best state by that time. I felt like if i told him, it would only make him feel worse. I genuinely felt bad for him. I do not exactly know how long we talked (im guessing approximately 20+ days?) After those days of talking, i felt nothing at all to the point that we both moved on.
Once we moved on, i took all the time i needed to reflect on myself as to what ive been feeling that i did not know i was feeling back then. Hallowness was what ive been feeling this whole time, and it has impacted my chances in getting into an actual relationship. I most recently found this out about myself.
Remember that guy that had a fwb?
Thats one of the guys that had feelings for me before. I also took a while to figure out my feelings to him. Being aromantic for a while affected how i would feel about him in return as i was also not ready for a relationship by that time too. This is another thing I also found out about myself too. Due to being aromantic and not ready for relationships for a while, i realized i wasnt completely used to someone having feelings for me, as it took toll on me. Not only that, i kinda felt skeptical about that guy because he had different beliefs compared to me. He has also told me and some other people things he did that me and another friend of mine thought was a joke only to realize it was never a joke. It was really hard for me to decide how i would feel about him in return until i talked to my Godmother about it. I dont remember a lot of the things she said, but i think she did say something about giving him a chance. It made me feel a bit ready than before. When i told him that i would date him someday, thats when he told me right after that he had a friend with benefits. I laughed at first, but when the weeks and days passed, it started to hurt me, knowing how nice of a person he seemed and how he depended on me emotionally, as part of me took a little while to get over him completely. As i felt shocked and sad, i started to question myself when i would ever find love. Not only that, i even had trust issues due to all this happening. I even realized trust issues and my past experiences are what affected me
and my feelings to the other guy that liked me, so to simply say this… this specific experience is what caused me to feel hollow towards love, alongside with just being aro and being specific with what i want. Thats also where the trust issues came from. Everything is all okay now and i have gotten over with what has happened to me. Another thing I realized about myself is that in order for me to be attracted to someone is that if the person gives me the connection i want. Perhaps something deep or to the point i feel like i and the person relates to each other. This includes having a few deep convos, like religion for example.
Although i am ok now, i still kinda question when i will ever find true love and my specific person alongside with a small part of me worrying if i will still feel hollow after what has happened to me.. Overall… finding things out about myself is kinda oddly refreshing in a way..
This is so perfectly timed, I've recently felt like I came to the realisation that I seem to not feel any love!
There seems to be a lack of it? No matter with who, even in plantonic relationships.
I still seem to do SOME things, like appreciation for someone, but that's about it. Even then it feels like there's a feeling missing.
I do come from a rather broken home and I'm diagnosed with depression, plus I'm a very paranoid person, been told that this stuff might numb it 😞
I don't know what to do
You need to discuss this stuff with someone. A lot of people use help from a psychotherapist exactly for this reason, but many of us don't have that luxury. The only person that is guaranteed to have all the answers is you. You grew up with you, you spend your whole life with you, and you're gonna have to trust you if you want to live a happy life. If you want to try that by yourself (maybe, you have no one else to trust), make sure the atmosphere for these discussions is the most comfortable to you. The main principle is that when you're vulnerable, you should quickly realise that there's nothing in that atmosphere to hurt you. There should be absolutely no judgement, keep reminding yourself that all your actions are justified by something and you're here to listen and help you figure out that something. You are supposed to be your best friend by default after all, and that is fact. Don't blame everything on yourself and don't blame everything on others, try to look through the stuff objectively, as if from the outside perspective, based on actual facts and not conjecture, not something you only think but don't know for sure. Keep in mind that it's okay to not know stuff, but it's not okay to not want to know stuff. Start by discussing what you like, not necessarily about yourself, just stuff you like. Try to figure out why you like this or that, if you do that for a little bit, that should make you more eager to talk to yourself about stuff that you don't like about yourself, and the important thing is not to ask "why am I like this", but to ask "why does it bother me so much". I did all that recently, largely by luck and a bit involuntarily, but after I discussed stuff with myself, what I like, what I don't like and why, I suddenly saw the reasons behind my actions, the puzzle of all the stuff about myself started falling into place. I warn you, you will cry, that's why it's very important to have a safe not-judging atmosphere for that. Only after doing that you can work on the safe environment where you can test your new knowledge about yourself. I'm still pretty much high on that feeling of having found myself after all these years, and I gotta tell you, it feels like no drug will ever feel. That's the good shit. And you deserve to have that feeling. Psych2Go had a video recently on why sadness feels addictive, I can tell you first hand, everything in that video pretty much applied to my experience. If you have any questions, ask me, since I just dumped it all on you, and I don't even know if you asked for that much. If you're not ready for all this, I understand, but at least, think about it in the future
@@TheMCzorro Thank you 🫶
I didn't expect this big of a response, just thank you 🥹
@@crazycat_4013 No problem. I just went through that recently, that's why it's so big, I hope you understand
I personally only feel this way with family. I told this person once, i cannot say "i love you" to my own mother, it's something that i've never heard coming out of her mouth and it always felt weird when other people talk proudly about their parents. I cannot understand how that must feel since i have never experienced that myself.
Have you heard of the term "Aplatonic"?
@@maio0077 I have not
Had to sit through this one. After being abandoned 3 years ago, I am not sure if I want to love again. I keep hearing people tell me that I'll find it again, but I don't know if I want to since I'm not even looking.
That sounds perfectly healthy. Why invite pain?
I'm 32 and never fall in love ❤️! It was always my dream but unfortunately never cared if someone would leave me or not
Well I’m not lonely but love isn’t in me… I am super logical and in turn mimic what others do, it worked in my younger years at least and got me by.
I am super happy for those around me and their love and relationships but who knows it’s not something that catches my attention and I always wondered if it wasn’t for me. This gave me a bit of insight, thank you.
It’s like I can feel it but I can’t at the same time, I can’t even describe it but it’s been hurting my relationship with my family and this video helped a bit so thanks a lot
I never had a crush in my life i just figured i am aroace
This video is very relatable to me. It has been bothering me for months now. Thank you very much for helping me out with this video.
This hits home for me, been dealing with emotional numbness and I've been trying to recover from a breakup that happened months ago, I can't help but feel very guilty for hurting my ex partner but I knew I didn't feel the same way he felt for me because he did his best for me, and I'm grateful for that but I couldn't force myself to love him. So this helps.
what is love? im 32 almost 33 and still dont know, and yes i like my family and few friends, but what is love?
Baby dont hurt me.
Dont hurt me
No more.
Love is when you like something in someone, for example you love a person because of him/her being funny or loyal, love also includes caring about that person. I hope this helped you!
Damn. #2 described my exact situation, nice to know what exactly I’m feeling and why
This honestly hits hard for me. When it came to love for me, I felt like when I actually fell in love, it all goes by so fast, and next thing before I know it, it was over before it even started. Thx again for this video..
Apathy has been on the rise, due to how intolerant people are... some are literally too narcissistic or antisocial to want love. Egoism as also been on the rise anywhere. Self image over caring and feeling for someone else.
Or people just aren't as afraid to go it alone. The social delusion that one must find a partner seems to be on the decline. It's a good thing, especially when it comes to poor or unhealthy relationships. Better to be alone than in bad company. I certainly don't want a partner, sounds like too much work for not enough gain.
@@DuchessofEarlGrey you're a great example of what I just described. Antisocial, also a bit too much self love for yourself.
You may see it as delusional but for some it is what they've been looking for all their lives. Some never getting what you can get easily. Have you ever thought of it that way?
@@DuchessofEarlGrey I highly doubt you'll be saying this. If you were alone and lonely everyday. If you'd elaborate/work with people daily, socialize to the point it drains you that is one thing.
But could you handle being on your own emotionally/psychologically/physically daily?
I'm sure, you are aware 95% of people could not handle the isolation during COVID. I can't say for you, but many couldn't however, what if those people who didn't have any loved ones or anything to lose and didn't catch it or knew anyone who suffered from it.
Do you really embrace being a lone wolf as you stated. Just to avoid caring for another for yourself and your life only(?)
Many lost it said it was the worst time of their lives, just from the temporary isolation during that time.
Complaining when they could obviously use social media/gaming to connect.
@@keip4568 I relate with him and agree to a fault, shit, I've been alone by myself for years, am 24 right now, I'm too used to being by myself that I guess I fear a change in that way with being with someone but I don't believe there is loving ourselves too much, it does sound egotistical and narcissistic but, I'm definitely not that because I feel for people who are very sad and upset, when I am around people like that or people who are bitter I can feel their energy and most people are like that in this world now, most people are shallow as well, so why even pay attention or surround myself with a society like that, but I do know that there is a small percentage of people that I can still connect with eventually in the near future, sometimes I contradict myself with statements I make and I am self aware of that, Most of the things in this life are Very Subjective
@@keip4568 In The End we all do need some form of family/community to keep us from going Insane, we all are human beings after all
Bro I felt that getting jealous of other people falling alone while your left alone
I've had several people actually fall in love with me, however throughout the entire thing, I couldn't love them back. Nor did I really love anyone. I didn't feel loved either. I just felt, out of place.
It’s 11:47 am and I have been missing something for a long time (6 years). Great video ❤. This video relates to how I feel and how I think. Then again it the moment will come on its own. I need to work on myself first, than ending up in toxic relationships once again.
Thank you for sharing that! It sounds like you’re recognizing the importance of taking time for yourself and building a foundation of self-love and growth first. Six years is a long time, but it shows your strength and resilience-your moment will definitely come when the time is right. Are there specific things you’re focusing on to keep growing and healing? Wishing you all the best on your journey! ❤🌱
@@Psych2go yes thank you for asking. Focusing on my mental health, mood, attachment styles and ways to become a bit more productive. Thank you for your time! ❤️
I used to have a crush on someone when i was a child. She was like a star to me, and me, always chasing her, without her knowing. She didn't know about it, and neither did i showed signs of it. I was just obsessed with her presence. Just knowing that she was present that day of school felt like a achievement to me. Knowing that she's living her life without a care of the world, and without her knowing that someone is admiring her from the shadows. I never tried to approach her to confess. I never showed signs of falling in love with her, neither did she bother me. We both respected each other in our own ways.
She now, is in the other side of the world, and me, lost all power to approach her anymore. The star that was so near, the star that i was chasing and could've had if i tried a lik bit harder, now is far away from me. And no matter what i do, isn't gonna help me reach out to her. Its been so long and im still afraid of trying to create a relationship, trying to reach out to her, feeling scared that she might leave me , even though she already did long ago(not that we were together in the first place).
Now, im still waiting for a path to open up, someone to light up that candle that once led me to her, someone to just let me feel that feeling that i once had.
Im burnt out , not because of work or study, but from the nostalgia from that memory of her, and its not on her, its on me. She already left, and aint coming back, nor i have the power to reach out to her anymore, and im just sulking in the corner everytime her name pops up in a random talk. I made myself numb from the fact that i once loved her, fom the fact that i could had a chance, but that naive me back then didn't know.
Its been years now, and i dont even remember her physically, but i still see her in everyone. Looking at anyone who has even a lil bit of vibe that ahe would give makes me sad, makes me feel regret for something thats now a past, and its overdramatic. I vant even talk about this to my family or friends. They just wont try understanding it, and i don't want to bother them at all.
I lost all interest in talking with anyone about love, any talk about life, and any talk that might make me remember her..
I dont even know if i can still feel live or not anymore. Everytime i think of approaching someone just to talk, she pops up the first thing in my mind.
I've been surfing along my life just fine, doing the routine that i am in , without any change. And thinking abiut change scares me, thinking that the change might make me forget her, and that fear, its stopping me from moving.. because the nostalgia feeling is so comfortable and the pain that it gives me , in used to it, and thinking about changing just makes me scared, it makes me feel like im gonna lose who i am.
My thing is that I've been single for so long, because of frequent rejection, that I don't actually believe that romance and affection are meant for me, and all that time without feeling those things has made me forget what it felt like and now all I feel regarding romantic love is nothingness. And actually it's not bad. I've been wanting to feel this for a long time. Just sucks that it took so long to finally meet this endgame of love apathy.
People forget that their bodies don't stop changing. I'm 41 and looking at approaching menopause. When my mother went through that, she got very emotional like a teenager, so I wonder what that is going to do for me.
We simply live too long. IME most people can't handle that, yes life is change. You are responsible for how you react to that change. 😎
I have autism, so a lot of times it feels like I can't control how I react to things, which is frustrating. One part of my mind is logical and aware of things, and is like "What the heck are you doing?" when observing what the rest of my mind is having me do.
This is an interesting topic. It's always at night that that feeling sets in. There isn't someone to hold or cuddle. But during the day it's not there. I feel like needing love is basically essential for survival especially as we get older.
this video literally came in the perfect moment in my life, love you
Getting anxious for love... Loving making me anxious
You should make a video on complementary personality’s because you mentioned it in the video but I really don’t understand complementary personality’s.
First, you need to find a personality. Most sheeple don't have any IME, not your problem. Really, be patient. Someone will come or not. God is really a cunt. So don't count on any help. Keep your eyes open. And life will find a way. 😉
Love, like relationship love is hard, I don’t know it because I am physically incapable of falling in love someone but it’s hard
I've been in a relationship since almost 3 months now and I feel like I don't love enough. I want that girl, I want her love, she makes me feel happy and I think the fact that I think about this and that I get sad or anxious about it tells me that I really do love her so much but it doesn't feel like I'm loving her enough.
Hey..first time viewer here, this video is helping me a bunch, as someone who has difficulty loving. This video actually made me cry because I felt like someone understood exactly how I was feeling, as I have difficulty showing people that I love them.
I need some help, if anyone’s willing to read this comment.
I’m in a crazy situation and I think I’m feeling underlying overwhelming feelings. I juggle multiple tasks in a day-to-day things. I’m a UA-camr, blogger, aspiring author, student, girlfriend, eldest of 3, and have multiple underlying (kinda muted) mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, adhd, perfectionism). I have been handling them fine, but I think it’s beginning to catch up to me. What should I do? I do not wanna give up any of these things because I love them and they’re part of who I am. But there’s also this and the additional stress of planning for my future for adulthood…is something wrong with me? Is this a normal part of life?
as a aromantic person i feel a lot of people feeling numb are caught in that society perspective of love is only connected to romance and anything other isn't that much important. But thats what movies, parents and social media teaches us feel that "love to some special" or "you need someone special". I personally have no attraction to romance love but i feel a strong attraction to other forms of love like you platonic love.
Most insane of timing in history
(Except I don’t feel sorrow and regret but STILL-)
The video helped a lot because a person who I loved and confess to said I don’t know how to love it made me feel like maybe I don’t have the emotion to feel love and express it but I know I’m capable of love, love come in different expressions and physical interactions I just haven’t found the right person who understands me and love me for me it’s just not the right time yet.
It’s in the afternoon, im 24 now, she’s been gone for 3 years now happily and I’m still figuring it out my own life. I’m gonna get a drink.
Fir me, it isn’t numbness, its straight up fear. I was deeply betrayed by everyone close to me all within three years after my dad passed away. Its left me fearful of ever opening up again, i feel like, the loneliness is less painful than going through that again.
I’m 23, and I don’t even think I’ve had a crush on anyone before. There was once a boy who I THOUGHT I had a crush on, I’d get nervous around him, self conscious when he would sit next to me, symptoms that seem like having a crush on someone (right?). But after he started to date my friend, I stopped feeling that way towards him, and didn’t really feel sad or angry that he was dating my friend.
In fact, I felt more comfortable now being around him now that he was dating her.
I still think about it today. Because if I did like him (based on what I felt around him) why did I not feel any negative emotion? People feel sad, angry, jealous, or any negative emotion to when their crush dates someone else, no? I didn’t feel any of those things, so does that mean I never liked him?
I really am strange😂
Exact opposite of mine.
1. Never dated who I admired back then - Somehow, still suspicious and all I admire made me sink in pain.
2. At the 1st sight, I thought that they consider me as a dangerous person because of reading what I think and clearly knew I've had to gain it.
3. I feel uncomfortable when I don't know what's going on but a complete separation makes it comforting.
4. I feel like, I'm unlovable even though I yearn for it. Normally, my approach of interactions is not good and sometimes they all appear to me as manipulative.
I think I'm obnoxious and rather weird.
Maybe you are aromantic
During my first relationship I was head over heels for the guy but he ended up losing interest. I still tried for a long time only to be met with short one word replies & long periods waiting for him to reply. That went on for 2 & a half years. Fast forward to 4 years later & a new guy who had a huge crush on me rolled around, we were together for about 8 months. I was hoping maybe I’d eventually fall for him but that didn’t happen, it also didn’t help that he was obsessively clingy, abusive, & controlling. At the time I didn’t realize how abusive he really was until my therapist pointed out so I just thought there was something wrong with me since I couldn’t love him. It’s been 2 years since then & I’ve met someone new, I feel the same love towards him as I did towards the first guy from when I was in High School.
I feel numb to love but at the same time have dreams about me being in a relationship with man who is obsessed with me and his smile is like a rainbow and he has this sunshine and warm aura around him. But as soon as i open my eyes pufff... everything was a dream😭
Thank you for making me realize
Looking back, I was surprised that many ppl have the same issue as me, I even only have 1 relationships in my life, and it only lasted for a week
I'm 45 now and never felt love at all and I dont think I can find anyone to be honest
As a young adult myself, I struggle with love. Even with love for God. My family is not so emotional. Romantic relationships and friendships often fail because of my health problems and forcing things, even if I didn't like the person that much. But now, without forcing myself and being honest with myself - I feel better. I'm trying to care more about my future and engage in things that I often didn't do before, while I was looking for reasons not to do them before. I know that everything has its time, especially love, and when I am ready, it will come to me ^^
Yoo the art style looks exactly what I'd kind of expect from your mascot's description! I feel like I'm more used to the old one to be honest.
The timing 😳 I was wondering about this in past few days. Actually in last week. Wow. And this REALLY gave me the answers. Thanks a lot ❤
This video was a physical manifestation of the mantra going through my head for the last several years. Unfortunately for me, it hasn't worked. You spoke about how if we care about our family or close friends, that is the first spark of love (paraphrased). Yeah, no, that's not me. I very rarely feel love for anyone, anything really (as has been the case as long as I can remember), and have pretty much accepted that at this point. (Yes I have sought professional help and no it did not help)
Felt this like forever
I've been numb for years and honestly I don't care about my emotions anymore and in my opinion I don't think I have any love in my heart and I just don't give a damn about anyone or love anymore
Sure you do. It's probably just very deeply buried. Instead of trying to " love" humans, try food, nature. I love this burger. I love how the geese fly. I love storms. Etc.
@@JaquelineGoodspeed I see what you mean. Instead of loving "humans" I must love things that personally make me happy?. Thanks for the tip
Could be stress, avoidancy, or over exposure torwards something that causes the numbness.
More so due to trauma probably.
Either way, there isn't anything wrong with you, as we experience more things that tend to have hurt us emotionally, we tend to close up and grow thick skin inorder to cover our wounds. Sometimes we tend be aware of what makes us avert from something and sometimes we don't.
So, despite this, you could try to take things one step a time, which is what I think JacquelineGoodspeed was trying put it as.
I thought this would apply to my experiences, but no, you don't need to be depressed or a sociopath or traumatized to be unable to love. I personally believe i'm none of those things, and yet i feel no romantic attraction to anyone, i feel no platonic love for anyone, and i feel no familial love for anyone. My friends and family haven't done anything bad, i just don't believe i love them in the slightest. I tolerate them and it's easy to do so, but there's no underlying feeling of love. When my mother says "i love you" i say "i love you too" not because i actually do, but because that's the normal thing to do. This was brought to light when i was asked by my aunt, who was trying to prove i'm not a sociopath, "do you feel anything when you say i love you to your mom", and i was shocked. Not that they had the gaul to suggest i couldn't feel that feeling that people apparently get when they tell others they love them, but because i had NO idea what they were talking about. I still lied and said i did though. Gotta keep the optics. Anyway, this video seemed to be more of a "what is keeping me from loving like i know i can" instead of a "why can't i feel 'love'?"
I don't know what wrong with me I stop caring about anything I don't care how I look dress I can't feel embarrassed anymore I am just so depressed because anytime tried to get better something always do something to make my life worst
This about feeling hardship to love even family members really got to me. I've always had a really tough relationship with my parents, my mom especially. They neglected me in a really bad time of my early teens (bullying and depression), only reaching to help when I was like almost ending myself.
I've always felt so kind of resend because of it, because they knew how bad it was, but thought i could handle it on my own.
And this made me shut down to any kind of relationship, i feel like I can't bound/trust anyone.
Im 22, i drop out of college twice already, the only thing going on in my life is work related. I cut contact with friends, don't go out at all. Be around people seem suffocating and overwhelming. I feel like I'm existing.
I feel like a failure.
Yes I'm in therapy lol.
Grate video, one that I didentit realise I needed to watch until now
More towards a younger audience but as relatable to grown ups - we don't really grow up just keep trying the best we can
Thank you! It was super helpful to watch this!🙏
Thank you for helping me find more peace!
This video just described my life and how I feel all the time
Never been kissed, never done the deed, never had a relationship am 30 and feel like life is passing me by i dont have a job currently cause of my physical condition continues to get worse every year never had any plans to the future since i feel like sometimes i just want to end it and dont see a point to keep struggling anymore am tired and frustrated with life i just want some happiness in this life even if it is only momentary guess others are more lucky than me but is what it is i suppose
One extra advice: have you tried re-evaluating your sexuality? Chances are your sexual preferences have changed, whether you may be attracted to a different sex, or you have a specific love language that no one has shown you yet. Also, it could be some variation of asexuality. You probably want to love, but not in a sexual or romantic way. Take time to think about it.
Also, search the term "arromantic". Some people feel little to none romantic love. If this sounds like you, search the word
Just discovered this, feel much happier knowing it’s not just me that’s weird!😂
Yep. It's gross that the video just ignored aromanticism altogether. But that's been a bit of a trend with this channel lately.
Damn you really had to hit the nail right on the head. Though I wished this video could just fix everything but that’s not how life works.
i don’t care if it’s the wrong time, i’m so sick and frustrated of everyone experiencing all their firsts yet i can’t seem to get past a talking stage. I’ve been in foster care since i was fourteen years old and moved around often. I have 0 foundational relationships of any kind, i’m exhausted “waiting for the right time” because it’s never been the right time. It’s beyond frustrating, it’s enraging.
Can you do a video about all the social problems that stems from ADHD? (Time-blindness, oversharing, too empathetic to a point that I put others’ priorities ahead of mine)