EXCLUSIVE: Jordan B Peterson on Fear of Cold Approaching Women (Approach Anxiety)
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- Опубліковано 7 лис 2018
- #Exclusive #Jordanbpeterson #Jordanpeterson #12rulesforlife #rsd #pickup #PUA #coldaproach #realsocialdynamics #rsdfreetour #rsdtyler #approachanxiety
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me: worst she can say is no
her: eww
Always have a fat juicy slightly rotting tomato to launch at her face if she says that
Just 'accidentally' spill a drink on them
If she says eww she isn’t worth it
No is the second best thing she could say
@Trevor Mayes Nah, I can find personality gross enough to call eww
Boys, please remember to turn your volume back down for the next video you watch. I learned this the hard way...
thanks man.
hahaha sorry man!
"now, that's a problem"
You're doing the Lord's work sir
Not the comment some may have wanted but the comment that we all needed.
Jordan approach: Pardon me, Miss, I think we both know life is very hard and consists in a great deal of suffering. I was wondering if you'd like to explore alleviating some of that horrible wretchedness with me.
Perfect. Nailed his style.
And then when we are done, maybe we can clean our rooms
Careful Icarus
You must surround yourself with money hungry people, or you’re one yourself. The vibes you give = the vibes you receive...
@Careful Icarus The whole 'The 5 people closest to you define who you are' thing is pretty moronic. While it is true that the people close to you let others predict pretty well the outcome of certain situations for you, that does not mean that this is a principal law. I can think of hundreds of examples of successful individuals that, by the definition of these new age 'Business gurus', would've definitely been 'naysayers' or 'suppressive people' (Note how the business guru nonsense sounds also 1 to 1 like scientology. One of the biggest hacks in that field, Grand Cardone, is an actual Scientologist and he's the biggest example why you do not want to follow this advice at all).
The fact is that most of this trivial 'self help' drivel just serves to convince morons that they actually have a chance of becoming 'millionaires' if they really really believe in it and manifest it into the world through their choices and who they hang out with. All that makes you is a vapid asshole that categorizes his social life by what utility the people have in your life. You're essentially conditioning yourself to think like an Asshole.
I'm posting this in my Tinder bio
That's basically an advice to young men on how to overcome bitterness towards women by becoming a better person individually and yet, somehow, there are journalists that attempt to frame him as a misogynist
It’s ironic that some leftists are so caught up in their ideologies that sometimes they don’t even recognize it if it’s packed in a slightly different form
This only made me more bitter towards women. Why should I have to go through hell to be "good enough" while she just has to sit there and look good?
@@BitterTast3 its just the way it is. We are not equal and people who say otherwise are dumb as shit. If you watch JP's adam and eve video from his biblical series, he talks a lot more about the bad part or punishment(from god) for the man and the woman and they are not the same. Really interesting stuff
@@BitterTast3 if you expect fairness from nature you‘ll only make your life more difficult. It is critically important to stop thinking that way.
@@RDstar75 I don't expect anything. I just won't be a participant in the scam.
RSD Jordan
Obviously.
Lol, comment of the year!!!!
"Don't be a chode,offer value to the dragon" -RSD Jordan
Comment of my life !
It would be a lot of fun to see Jordan Peterson with the guys of RSD.
Lmao leave it to Dr. Peterson to make the friendzone sound even worse than it seems. "Getting rejected by a woman is basically the equivalent of fighting an evil dragon of chaos"
"I don't mind your presence but I don't think your genes should be allowed to propogate into the future"
If a woman is willing to be your friend, you’re actually doing a lot better than many men.
The friend zone is very terrifying to guys who admires a girl, the evil dragon of chaos is a Metaphor for the truth.
The friend zone often means that the man watches others eat the meal that he's hungry for, and has tried to earn by following her stated rules: he listens, he's kind, supportive, etc. In reality, she will see him as weak and be disgusted by him, but not so disgusted as to not use him to meet her needs, and turn a blind eye to his hints and suggestions for something more that might alleviate his lonely suffering.
Keep in mind there's a difference between a couple women wanting to just be friends, especially those who've known you a while or has personal reasons (already have a guy their persuing, different sexuality, has a niche type etc.) And when you're being rejected by 50 women. Friendzone is more descriptive of your relationship with an individual and nothing to worry too much about. When you're being rejected by an entire gender is when I'd say you're really confronting a dragon and there's some serious work you need to do.
Say one day you go out, you ask that girl out and get rejected. Mother nature took that long cold look at you and deemed you unworthy. You seclude yourself, work on yourself, become strong after working hard in silence. You are a man, you can create, destroy and change what you will. You return one day, the forgiving aspect of Mother Nature is that she allows you to step up to the plate again anytime you want, and just as surely as last time, Mother Nature takes that long cold look at you. But this time, you’ve looked within yourself and traversed the labyrinth, and after returning strong you now deem your own self worthy, and so this time around, you assert that you are worthy, and Mother Nature will reward you.
Dammn
That was beautiful
While she getting tucked by a superior genetic chad, you sit and philosophy about mother nature.
Then after you improve yourself you get damaged goods.
Jordans peterson is an amazing cope, I personality cope with him, but a cope none the less.
Wow, Thats a great way to view it! Rejection is nature doing it's thing. We have to respect the way nature keeps the human race evolving. Imagine how many lives have been redeemed because of it. Gyms full of rejected folks who strive for better health, a better mind, and when success arrives, creating offspring with well-rounded genetics and personality traits. Thank you for these words brother, it's really an eyeopener.
I love this! When you truly know yourself, only then will u be able to see through all the bs find the ideal partner for yourself.
Jordan is literally saying that if a young man has trouble with a woman he should work on his own character, yet people still label him as mysoginistic.
*stupid people label him as misogynistic.
Jordan is braindead if he thinks he wouldn't be forever alone in this modern society. His old world wisdom is archaic and not applicable today.
Dam dude, let's not go calling them people now.
"a creature such as you should not be allowed to propagate" I felt that
We're all with you bro, let's overcome our limitations side by side.
Same here😁
The type of 'approach' matters also.. I don't know of any women who'd be receptive to a stranger coming up and saying "Hey beautiful, can I have your number?". Make sure she's noticed you, and if she's open to being approached, she won't keep her back to you, etc. If you find yourself next to each other at a bar or table, and you meet each others eyes and she smiles back, introduce yourself! Ask her where she's from and what she does, and say something funny. If she's as engaged as you are, ask if you can have her number.
Women are just as nervous as guys. Every time you feel sad and frustrated because you're scared to say 'hi' to anyone, remember women are feeling the same. There are worse things than time wasted talking to nice people. Either of you will cut it short if it's not going anywhere, and you'll both walk away with more confidence and conversational skills.
@robeat94 I believe my thoughts on approaching still apply? Wasn't arguing against rejection desensitizing approaches.. but it would be nice if you didn't actually have to go through 50 before finding someone nice and mutually interested, lol.. I don't think the point is just to squeak at people until 50 have reject you either. Point is to improve yourself.
@@leggyblonde11 If you're trying to find a partner, then yeah, going through 50 people is far from ideal, but again, the number is intentionally high for the reason Jordan explained: getting used to rejection and losing your fear of it. Once that's done, it's much easier to remain relaxed and focus on the conversation itself while actually talking to someone and flirting with the intention of seeing if it goes somewhere.
“Unless They’re a mob” LMAO
Had to make an exception for the i guess millions of feminists who dislike him lol
@@martinguila Dude is married and have a beautiful family, he has it right.
Is nobody gonna talk about how good his suit is?
no
It is a good suit and he has good shoulders.
Oh, I meant yes apperantly
A little grooming goes a long way.
No, because we are here for the content, not for his suit. That's your job.
Interestingly my confidence for talking to any woman is not from talking to many woman at all but going through many job interviews lol. I see it like that. It's a " I want you, but you may not want me, but that's okay, there's plenty of fish in the sea".
I take a philosophy of love and sex class and one of the books we read was on lust by a philosopher named Blackburn.
In the book, it talks about a tendency we have to “crystalize” or idealize a partner. I am having huge difficulty learning to be more of a realist than and idealist when it comes to love.
Pay attention. View love and relationships realistically. Be aware of rosy lenses if you have them. Take them off and be realistic in what constitutes a healthy and functional relationship.
And based upon what you have learned how do you define love ?
@@jamesabar207 I think love must have mutual trust and respect, at least - even in non-romantic relationships. JP has talked about the importance of trust in relationships in other videos.
It seems it should go without saying, but trust and respect are necessary. You’d be surprised how many people tolerate being treated disrespectfully out of thinking their partner could change for the better.
@@bluesyjazzcat31 I'll have to check that out thanks! Oh no I certainly wouldn't be surprised.
When all the young adults in your life are getting in relationships just wait like 4 years and you'll see what real life relationships are like lmao. Im 22 m who happened to have a rough patch at 18 but man im happy i did cuz i got to see real relationships over these 4 years and trust me your biggest weakness at 16 up Going into relationships is naievity. Talk to older people whove been through relationships a schoolbook wont do as good because they gotta censor the explicit reality of real life.
What’s the book titledv
Well fellas you have to go with the path of least resistance, go where the love is stop trying to get women who want nothing to do with you, go with women who choose you. Work on yourself and your goals and the ladies will come and tip for a approach is if she makes eye contact and smiles she’s inviting you give her your number, don’t get hers if she calls then you already won half the battle cause she’s into you.
I mean it makes sense. When I was super depressed I got rejected like crazy. When things went really well and I became happier and more assertive/confident and much more social, a girl ended up liking me. Now I'm kinda back in phase 1, and ik I must improve myself...alot.
Guys do this too. People read energy whether they know they’re doing it or not. Even with most people considering me extremely attractive, I receive significantly less attention when I’m depressed or low energy. Often then it’s an initial look then it seems once they feel my energy, it’s NO interest. I don’t think some people get the difference in looks vs attraction. I didn’t understand the difference for the longest time. People are very affected by others energy. Positive energy MAKES people attractive.
This advice alone, is the best I’ve heard. Believe me I’ve heard advice on approaching women, dating and starting relationships from the top dating coaches, but this alone stands out as the best. Jordan Peterson aka Legend!
Not gay, started to dance to impress a girl, ended up being the guy that all the girls in the saloon want to dance with. Gained a huge bag if confidence, thats a good advice from Jordan
@robeat94 twerking
In the saloon? And have you convinced any of these girls to hop on your horse and go back to your tavern at the end of the evening?
Women reject you because they know you don't clean your room
I think a lot of people are taking this the wrong way, he literally says that the pathway that leads to the resentment of women is bad
How many people just listened to the part they want to hear?
All of them. We're human afterall
He’s also saying that it’s not them it’s you which is the honest truth
@@lottostuuud I agree. I think a lot of ppl are afraid to face themselves and acknowledge their own shit.
@@chrisoher they are it’s one of the toughest things to do but at some point you have to step out of yourself and see what you really are and that’s the first step to being better
I'm dying to see Jordan peterson dance now
Me: "Hi"
Girl: "me too"
The second best thing a woman can ever say to you is "no". Be happy when you get it. The absolute worst is "I really like you, but, maybe another time, try again later, I would if things were different, but there is this specific temporary obstacle, but for sure keep trying if you really want it to happen between us." Then they tell all of their friends that they told you no and keep telling you no and have no idea what you keep stalking and harassing and bothering them poor poor victim attention loving selves.
In those cases you just translate "Nope. But keep improving yourself, while treating me as a friend (at max), until you find someone who's better than me. Thanks for the ego-uplifting proposal tho." And that's it lol
The prince would probably be in jail in this day and age as sleeping beauty didn't give consent for the prince to kiss her.
Duh. I'm sure you would have a problem if a random prince kissed you in your sleep. Or maybe you should take her place...idiot
@@anbillie Yeah I'd rather just keep sleeping forever and die from malnourishment
Actually she would give consent after the fact. Or not. Being a guy is scary. Thus the pair of balls.
Personally I never had a problem with kissing a girl with out consent. If you had, maybe you guys are just really disgusting or unempathic - probably both.
@@garythegastropod1823 to play the devils advocate and poke the bear a bit, the prince didnt know that sleeping beauty would die of malnourishment if he didn't kiss her. his act was not to help her, it was just satisfy his desire for her... now, i'm not saying that he was right or wrong to kiss her. however, if your argument is that, well he saved her so surely his intent was good and its fine. .. i am going to have to disagree because he didn't know that, he just kissed her for his own sake...so his intention is selfish... and he kissed her without consent... so the prince is a dick... but a brave dick, and one that killed the dragon and saved the Princess, so like most people he's not all good or all bad.. but maybe next time, when he runs into a pretty princess, he ought to act like a king, and not foolish prince, thus he should ask to kiss her first? 😂
This video is extremely offensive, not Jordan peterson the fact that this is filmed in portrait mode, turn your phone sideways when you film!!!!
It helps you focus.
I personally dont care
I don't get it
😂😂😂
Considering the circumstances, you should forgive them. They probably were not supposed to be recording this, and in such a situation the upright portrait position is far less conspicuous. It would have been gold, though, had Jordan looked directly at them and exclaimed, "Bloody hell, man! Only sociopaths use portrait!"
Im getting married in January to my best friend and the love of my life. Cliche, yes, but true. I struggled long and hard approaching women throughout my youth being a natural omnivert and typically a very analytical and prudent person. What Peterson says here is the most true interpretation of male development I have heard to date. Men must face the hardships in our lives head on. To be a coward is a betrayal to your sex an species.
The thing he describes here is one of the most unbelievably social dynamics that I would have never believed could exist. Women truely have become a "sensor" for whether you are a guy who's ready to propagate.
quinxx12 Yep, all about those subcommunications.
@NolanEP84 well yea sure, what I mean is that they had to worry much more about the consequences of becoming pregnant up until last century. And now there has been this massive shift.. its just insane!
@Rejected Letters What jordan was saying was that if a 1000 women find you unattractive and unworthy as a mate, its not them, its you. Stop with the hypergamy bullshit, you're acting like you've never spoken to a female before
Men protect physically, Women protect spiritually. In ancient times peoples knew this, it’s just been lost on us in modern times.
Great video -Tyler
Hahaha
Loled
LMAO
Eeyyyy
😂
Second time I've disagreed with JBP. He's underestimating the damage the mass-approach-mindset does to a man. Yes, you should take the lessons you can from rejection, and you should learn to come to terms with rejection and not be completely crushed by it. But mass approaching is not really an effective method - it's like treating chicken pox by scratching the skin. It's too shallow. The pickup guys are putting on a persona. It falls off. I used to try it myself. Listen to me; no matter how well the approach goes, the persona falls off. You need to FIRST go through the self-improvement process he mentioned here. Make yourself into a man who, by your own reckoning even, is actually worthy of dating a high-quality woman. Then put yourself forward with some confidence. Cold approaching en-masse when you have no value to offer can help, but more often than not, just traumatizes guys, leaves them feeling fake. Make sure you're a man you can respect before approaching a woman you respect, and when you do so, do it GENUINELY. Not as a technique.
What jordan was saying about the pickup artist was about his entire point all together. His main point is if 1000 women reject you, then it isn't them its you. So if you are too afraid to talk to the 1000 women, exposure therapy will remove that fear, expose you to the judgement of 50 women and allow you to do what you must to better yourself so you understand not to resent but to improve... If a guy is ready to kill himself over what 50 women say its not the girls fault, they dont have an obligation to like every man, its the weak will of the man, at this point call him a boy....
Real truth GSPV33.
If you are a man with no self respect and self worth for yourself. Why would a woman with, high value, that you respect, think that they need to respect you when you don't even respect yourself. You've got to get YOUR life in order first and build some respect and discipline for yourself. Then, after getting self repect and discipline, when you end up going after those high value women, your not as likely to "fail" as you would have, if you had aproached that women when you had no self respect.
"Fail" - in the context I'm using it means. Get rejected and fall apart completely.
Best comment I’ve seen on the internet in some time. So true (for both sexes.) People who don’t get what they want often seem to blame the person/people who reject(s) them, instead of looking within & seeing why they’re being rejected. Doing the inner work is huge.
I disagree, when I was 19 (now 27) I was extremely awkward around women and didn't really know how to interact with them. I resolved myself to approach and talk to 3 cute girls everyday...now I have no issue talking/interacting/approaching any women assuming the circumstances are appropriate. The issue is that between 2010-2020 how men and women interact and/or view interacting with one another has drastically changed, the rules that applied in 2010 no longer apply today even more so with Covid. If your goal is to get over the fear of rejection, cold-approaching en masse will, now if your goal is to attract women then you have to take a hard look at yourself and ask "what about me is attractive?" if you're struggling to find answers then you have work to do. Focus on the basics Mind, Body, and Spirit...Mind: read a book educate yourself, learn about some things; Body: exercise or more so just get active, go hiking, or cycling as it doesn't just have to be the gym; Spirit: develop some hobbies or find something or some cause you're passionate about.
Chima Ubabuike
I think you show a good distinction here.
If you’re just trying to build the confidence, talking to people will help tremendously. I’d think all people though (except who you’d norm be friends with.) Go interact with young, old, male, female, people with very diverse occupations & lifestyles.
If it’s very specific you’re only fears of interacting with people are women you’re attracted to, then I’d go with the self-improvement then return to the interacting with women your attracted to. It might help some men to cold-approach, yet, in my experience, it is very awkward. You might be more likely to be met with a fake response if you come with a fake initiation.
If one is confident with their friends, family, & even complete strangers, the woman will often see this so when the ‘shy’ man approaches, she’ll know he’s simply nervous to converse with her, not everyone. It’s when the man is awkward with most everyone, it’s not attractive & sets the alarm for ‘creepy.’
Just my thoughts on being cold-approached from a woman’s perspective.
I like how you’ve included the other points most don’t focus on too, mind body spirit. You don’t know how many men think if they exercise & dress well, it’s enough. They might get the attention they seek, it’s not likely they’ll keep it though. Plus mind, body, spirit work contributes to a well rounded person & provides lots to converse with, without seeking subjects. If I’ve hiked _____ mtn & so’ve you or such & such trail...we’ve got a convo for quite some time to help settle the nerves.
The difference in conversing is so different in these times though, like you mentioned. I hope when people completely become in-person once more, they put their phones to the side when in public. Seeing faces instead of foreheads will help everyone.
this man genuinely cares for people and wants to help them
I wish I was educated enough to wear such cool pinstriped suits on a stage.
I settled for the first woman I had the courage to talk to.
Regret it every day, I wish I had to know more potential partners
F
😬😬😬
F
If I get rejected by a girl, then all that means is that she was not feeling me. I do not feel fundamentally inadequate as a man.
yes i think peterson has some deep fundamental problems...
There it is. A man who understands he won’t & shouldn’t get every woman’s attention. It seems you know yourself & hold true to it.
Demolition
Possibly, though it seems he deals with lots of males who think they deserve the attention of females they choose. Then get crushed when she doesn’t reciprocate. I’ve come across lots who then, resent all women (which even further diminishes their chances of getting women’s attention/interest.) It seems to me he’s speaking to a specific group of males who’ve lost themselves & blame it on women, instead of looking within & doing the inner work to become the man they’d like to be.
Of course, but that's not what he said. Getting rejected once is very different from being rejected 1000 times. At some point you must realize there's something wrong with you.
He's talking about virgin men or men that never had a relationship which is a good chunk of the male population.
How cool it is that Jordan is talking down from his elevated position dressed dapperly.
Saw a video of a guy being detained for cold approaching. She found him weird (she wasn't attracted to him), so she lied saying she was offended. The guy barely said to her she is looking good. Men, beware. Soon cold approaching will be illegal, except for women. Men will no longer be allowed to speak in public. This is where I feel we are heading to. Just another way for women to choose her alpha partner and to not be approached by beta males. Female colleagues from work, already confessed to me that any man talking to them in public is very very weird.
And then they cry "where have all the good men gone?"
@@halofreak1990 Ha ha ha. Indeed
I've tried this approach over and over but all I keep getting in response is "hey you in the bushes, stay the hell away from me!"
Lmao underrated comment
why were you in the bushes to begin with??? 🤣🤣
Not watched a Peterson video in a while and just been re-struck by just how perfectly he frames and articulates the problem , the solution then becomes self evident but he tells you anyway in case you're thick.
that's a fine view angle for a video on anxiety
thanks for filming that, big up!
Just read a news story about a man shooting at a couple after the woman rejected his advances. Another example of nale violence after rejection. So, so sad. So insecure.
These troubles are magnified now because everyone is looking at their phone rather than communicating face to face.
After years of watching his talks, I found myself to have completely adopted his way of thinking. His greatest contribution to the world is proving time after time that the way our society is structured is meaningful and just and worth living in. Hopefully, he will carry on with that.
I experienced this too, and I sometimes think that I need to find a completely different perspective just to see if Jordan's (and mine!) holds up. I haven't been able to do that yet.
“If 10,000 women think there’s something wrong with you, they are right” - JBP (what do the feminists say about this?)
I dont think you‘ll find 10‘000 feminist who disagree (entirely) with jbp
Listen to 7:15. He says “unless they’re a mob”.
The feminists are a mob of people with the same idea, not a randomised collection women which would give a true indication
If you actually want a partner rather than a lay, just treat women like human beings. First, you go in search of someone you'd want to genuinely befriend with whom romantic chemistry would be a bonus. If it turns out a crush doesn't gel with you, then you prabably wouldn't be friends, so the pursuit wouldn't be worth it anyway.
Thank you for sharing this.
AWESOME CAPTURE, bro
Keep it up!
I’m more afraid of looking stupid than getting rejected. I’ve had cringey, awkward moments with girls in the past and been made fun of by people as a result. That’s what I’m afraid of happening again. Not simply a woman saying “No”
Prove them wrong by becoming a chad and fucking the wives of your bullies.
@@patriot9487 😂😂
Seriously this is what I’m most afraid of too. Afraid of my reaction to her rejection rather than the rejection itself
And she is afraid of being killed or raped by a date - you are afraid of being laughed at .... which is why men and women live in different worlds...also why most women don't want to be approached by strangers at all
Rule #1. Assert your dominance in the hierarchy driven world by crossing your legs
Awesome stuff. Thank you for sharing.
This video was exactly what I needed right now
My experience is that if I know what I want from women, it gets easier. Not having a model for how relationships are supposed to work makes it basically impossible to work it.
Another big problem is that society itself does not have a model for how relationships are supposed to work, thanks to "female liberation". If you cold approach a woman, you have no idea whether she will find your approach suitable. This is quite different from finding YOU suitable. She could be minding her own business grocery shopping and reject every man who approaches there because she isn't ready for it. There is no longer any societally accepted way for courtship to occur.
The most important problem is that most women are unworthy of marriage because they don't want it. It is basically impossible for me to get attention from western women under the age of 25 with regards to marriage, but I have accidentally gotten semi-nude photos before when I wasn't even looking for that. And women over the age of 30 are easy to get attention from, but if they are waiting that long to get married, then that isn't ever what they really wanted. Most western women today would rather be whores than house-wives. That is why I went foreign.
An individual woman is not a valid representation of nature if she has chosen death rather than life. If she decides that being envious of men and trying to compete with them is more important than having children, then she may as well be dead as far as nature is concerned and a rejection from that woman is a blessing.
Based.
Thanks for sharing!
Jordan Peterson is deeep!! Forget esoteric knowledge, the man speaks from the infinite repository of wisdom in the depths of his soul.
Great upload thanks!
Where did this actually take place? Jordan Peterson of all people talking about this is awesome.
Razz Diamond Birmingham 🏴😁
@@Boss_Feed Birmingham Alabama?
@Mr. Reborn Doesn't look like an english flag on my computer. Just looks like a plain green flag.
@@FudGnut. On mine it's a plain black (or very dark grey) glag.
@@MachoMaster Yeah but apparently we should be more considerate
Another one of Dr Peterson's fun facts (that he didn't mention here) is that us males mostly tend to approach or otherwise make contact with women that are 25% better looking than ourselves, ie The Elephant Man rolling up to the bar to hit on Scarlett Johansson type scenario.
That picture in the end does it!
I needed to hear this😅
Nowadays Dr. Peterson many women reject men simply based on their Facebook profile. You could have the coolest life if you don't reflect it on your social media profiles you've already lost
Yeah that's not true, I deleted my Facebook years ago and I still get laid
cute, you’re still on facebook
He’s right about dancing by the way. A guy who knows how to dance is a rare and desired phenomenon among women.
He’s also gay
Not gay, started to dance to impress a girl, ended up being the guy that all the girls in the saloon want to dance with. thats a good advice from Jordan
@@pavels8890 we need more people like you haha.
@@teresatomas9425 thank you, we need more girls like you 🤗
I agree. I've been dancing for a long time and women have always seem more interested when a man knows how to dance. Why? I have no idea but it sure helps a man.
shit test is the dragon of chaos
"You have sacrifice the ideal of the princess"
That part needs to be remembered...
Sacrifice the ideal in my imagination - wow, I think this is speaking to me
Day game is almost a cheat code. Dating is, in essence a numbers game, especially for men. The true super power in cold approach is being able to overcome the fear of rejection, to a point where you can shrug it off as if it's nothing. The more you cold approach as you do day game, the better you get at it, the better you are an initiating conversation without worrying too much about the end result. The odds of probability alone, is that you will have some level of success even if you are a slightly below average male. Charisma and self-confidence is everything when approaching woman in the street or in town.
When you dont seek it, you get it - alan watts
whoooo cares - jason genova
I remember seeing this absolutely gorgeous girl and immediately lost my thought process, took me years to say hi.
Some have also decent attitude... I liked a guy on social media, who is very nice lôooking but alos verydecent character talking in decent manner to everybody, but then his wife is as much as he is, nice looking dents genuine with sense of humor, as much as he is .. Its interesting.. Maybe they are atraccted because both have very similar personality and look good, but she is not like supermodel who wears crazy heavy make up, she is more attractive without make up.. Nice person. It seems people who like mimalism are more attractive than the ones who share 100 pictures every motnh and say 100 stories etc.
my new fav J. Peterson camera angle
If you’re scared of cold approaching women you just have to do it and you can do it without being a creep just do it and if you get rejected good learn from it.
The problem is not the sleeping beauty. The problem is the sleeping beauty eventually turns back into the evil witch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Jung warn AGAINST treating his concept of anima as any actual individual woman?
"Though the effects of anima and animus can be made conscious, they themselves are factors transcending consciousness and beyond the reach of perception and volition. Hence they remain autonomous despite the integration of their contents, and for this reason they should be borne constantly in mind. [The Syzygy: Anima and Animus,” CW 9ii, par. 40.]"
The anima is an intrinsic part of the self (in males), not a specific woman existing in material reality that should be sought out and entered into a relationship with. In fact, an obsession with the idea of relationships with women is a state of anima possession, another thing Jung warned against; in addition, the level of anima development in men where relationships with women are the primary mode of its expression (Helen, Mary) is not even the highest.
Jordan is my hero! Love ya Jordan
I disagree when he says rejection means there’s something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with mint chip ice cream just bc some people don’t like it. However, in the case of 1000 rejections there is something wrong with your approach to the situation or how you’re putting yourself/your life together.
he said "a thousand" rejections, and it kind of makes sens when you think about it
@@anaskun3645 That was what I meant by "in that case"
He didn't say that. He said that if you get rejected 1000 times, then there has to be something wrong with you. Of course people have different tastes and all, but at some point you must realize it is not them but you. Two or three rejections definitely mean nothing
@@DanielCPTrader Edited for clarity. If you wanna make yourself wrong down to your soul, go for it. I maintain there's just something wrong with your approach.
@@jahigains9201 if your approach is wrong then theres probably smthng wrong with you.
This is a really good one
Yep. Done this 200 times recently, and i have to do it a lot more, and i will get "there."
Enjoy getting #metoo’d.
I wish I had your courage/.
Lol the point is not to get rejected by 200, is to see wtf is wrong with you that you can fix and better when you get rejected a lot.
Haha, I've never been rejected!
@@c0xb0x Your hand doesn't count
Perfect video: #1) if majority of women keep rejecting you, there's something wrong with you #2) improve yourself bring more to the table; dress better, improve grooming, improve $ status. 3) be realistic in the woman you can get
A big problem with rejection is cultural differences. You may be rejected in America but a good catch in India. Widen your horizons.
This hilariously inflammatory interview on Good morning Britain had this one guy who was simply claiming that russian, and Eastern European women are more beautiful and approachable than Western/Euro women, and it made me think I might need to go abroad to really get with a baddie.
Who the hell wants to date an Indian woman?
3:04 ''If women reject you, there's something wrong with you. And you need to do something about it, whatever it is.''
But what if you have a physical disability that has no cure?
That you get back to nature. Nature picks the strong individuals. Not the weak. I'm in similar situation. It is really really hard. Be strong
@@djVania08 Thank you, and yourself too :) it's a shame some people, through no fault of their own, cannot have the confidence or attractiveness due to nature telling them they simply aren't good enough to procreate. And others blessed physically, even if their character is unattractive
He isn’t referencing changing your looks. He’s referencing changing your attitude, energy, mindset, etc. There’s plenty of disabled people who’ve mates. He’s telling you to become the best version of yourself. Energy overrides looks (at least for the people who I’d think one would like in their life.)
in order for Men to have a mate he needs to be, articulate, sophisticated, intelligent, physically fit, financially competent, ambitious, exciting, respectful, kind, loving, aggressive yet subtle, and etc.
in order for a Women to have a mate she needs to be: JUST WILLING PERIOD. because no matter how unattractive a woman is, there will always be a man who will go for it.
Lol nah, chill out.
@tyrone loki you have a good point. It's a shame there are so many people like ;askoefj who are too blind to see it. Those types of people tend to not look at the world around them otherwise they would quickly notice how few men can actually get reliably laid. Haecious Spax also makes a good point because learning game is undoubtedly the most important of all factors.
@@anottakenusername3189 agreed...but getting laid is relatively easy, if your not considering quality. but finding a mate, is much much more difficult than just getting laid.
@@tyroneloki5131 Perhaps you are lucky enough to be a "natural" with the ladies, but just try to help an awkward friend get laid in order to see what I mean. I PROMISE you getting laid isn't as easy as you think unless you are talking about prostitution. If that's the case people can just by a plane ticket to wherever it's legal and get laid that way. That said, I have a friend who looks like Matt Damon but he struggles to get girls because he can't conquer even the basic fear of approaching.
We are also surrounded by ego-driven liars. Even fatties and ugly girls have a huge ego because of constant praise by society. On the male side their ego leads them to lie about how "easy" it is and inflate their numbers. Probably half of your male friends are lying to you about their sexual experiences because of this. Even if you gave a guy specific advice like "learn how to dress" most simply won't do it because they grew up on Disney movies that say you can be a poor awkward guy who gets overwhelmed by beauty and still have a princess.
You're definitely right that finding a mate is harder though. I am in the midst of this search and over time I gather experience and wisdom on how to navigate what is essentially yet another minefield. So far I am convinced that I am going to have to target plain looking women simply because the hot ones are so entitled it's like they live on a separate planet. Also, I have learned from successful couples that the most important factors that determine whether or not you stay together are also the least sexy... like whether or not you have aligning goals and maturity.
@@anottakenusername3189 no sir, not by prostitution nor by illegal acts...hmmm may i try suggesting alcohol...lowered inhibition for both sides may increase the chances. and dont put pressure on him, just let it be naturally.
Jordan's a legend
There is something wrong with me. I'm actually ugly and have standards.
I have no courage problem and talk and have friends with women still none that I am into are remotely interested. Hell only a handful have even considered me as an option and its not because they think I am good but they have no other choice. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is a damaging mentality and leads you to self harm. There's nothing wrong with me or any other guy who can talk to women other than the formation of our faces, the length of our bodies or the quality of our skin/hair
Yes i have fear. And i will explain that fear.
Peterson fails to understand or deliberately skips some of the key aspects of female affection, which is way more hypergamous than he portrays it to be. It's a bit shallow to imply that something is inherently wrong with a person being constantly rejected by women - they just may not meet a certain threshold of attractiveness due to their genetic insufficiencies (face and height, which are the most important ones in that regard yet we have zero influence on these). Mind you, Nikola Tesla never had any sexual experience with a woman, would you say his genes were inherently not worth reproducing?
What if the guy getting rejected tries females who are less attractive than him , then too if he gets rejected then it is implied that something is wrong with him and he needs to do something about it
So as Peterson told he need to settle for someone not ideal
@@makishimashougo4722 this is a logical, but a bit gullible point of view. Obviously as a woman (correct me if im wrong) you might not be aware of how radically different dating has become for men due to dating apps (which is fine, not judging). The truth is that for men, if you are below a certain standard in face, it is super difficult to find any women attracted to you (80% of guys are rated as "below average" by women on dating apps, proven by scientific research) and if you are below 5'4" it is extremely difficult to find any woman who would even treat you respectfully. For some minority of guys it is really over in western societies, unless they move to a different culture/country, which should have never been a thing in the first place.
Female hypergamy is skyrocketing because of the overwhelming advantage they get on social media and the upper hand of easiness in finding a potential partner in online dating. And Im not even surprised, as men would have taken advantage the much same way in such position.
This doesnt change the fact that every man should get to be the best version of himself, but for a minor percentile its hurting and deceptive to keep telling them "just lower your standards", when they REALLY have them low already, trust me. Ive been in touch with some of such people, so its better in such cases to spill the truth and let them take care of things they can really advance at, not dating necessarily.
Exactly what I was thinking.
You're actually quite right about that. But let me add something: Most men who are rejected by women don't meet a certain threshold of attractiveness *based on their standards*. And by attractiveness, I'm not just talking about physical-but also, and most importantly, the behavior.
See, even if you are within the top 1% of the most physically attractive men in the world, there's still no guarantee that you'll get the woman of your dreams. Meanwhile, you see people like Nick Vujicic who doesn't have arms and legs who ends up with, what most people would probably think, an attractive girl.
How did he do that? Lots of factors obviously-could be fame, social power, personality, luck, positioning, time, etc. But it all boils down to one thing: behavior.
Because back when we were cavemen (and we still think like that), there were no mirrors, no instagram, no suits, no money, nothing. There's just men who behave like men. And women respond positively to that.
Jordan Peterson is the real life Tyler Durden or Narrator I guess either way he’s a damn genius
3 years of college, 3 years of uni... over without 1 single relationship, simply because like Jordan explains here, a lot of young men don’t want to face women that they’re attracted to because the odds are more in favour of rejection. So, other than getting used to approaching more women like he says in this video, I’m not sure what else to do. I don’t have a wingman adsactly...
YT algorithm brought us together yet again
that's a classic italian 3-piece suits with a rose! Don Peterson!
It's a remembrance day rose. It's not for fashion, everyone in the UK wears one in November.
It is a poppy, not a rose!
Rape culture is so fucking real amongst colleges and specifically the fraternities but there are so many good guys out there who just want a good companion in a woman and who respect them. We good guys need
to acknowledge the existence of rape culture and act in opposition to it by leading open, healthy, responsible, and respectful sexual relationships.
JBP would sell out theatres just doing q&a
Cold approach? Every time I approached a woman I am hot and sweaty.
Atleast you’re hot
Even if your in 'good shape' the probability a women will reject you is still high. No wonder men resent women.
This is funny. Being in ‘good shape’ isn’t the one thing women look for. Possibly listen to the video this time...esp on the resentment portion. If your only in good shape, nothing more to offer, it’s not nearly enough. We’re looking for the entirety of a man to be a good person, just like I hope you’re looking for the entirety of a woman to be a good person. Best of luck on the inner work to become this best version of yourself. THEN seek a woman you’re interested in.
The practical advice:
- speak to lots of women so by the end of speaking to them you get less terrified (for example ask for their number and everytime you get rejected you will be less terrified)
- take care of yourself (grooming, sophistication, articulation, looks, etc.)
Could you please link the full video
For most of history, marriages have been arranged, either formally or informally, though friends, family, etc. On top of that, most people never even encountered people they didn't know, as they lived their whole lives very close to where they were born. And that's still the case for hundreds of millions of humans around the world. So I think he's overstating the role mate selection played in evolution and how we got to where we are today. It's a very modern phenomenon.
Interesting point.
That is just not true tho. In the animal kingodm, the female has always been the one that chooses her mate, no matter what species we are talking about and so they are naturally programmed to pick their mates based on their attributes. So to say that the foundation of the problem is that we as men have been forced to approach women for only a few decades and so we don't know how to do it, is inncorect, evolution plays a way bigger role than that, at least in my oppinion.
You are overestimating the numbers, the significance and the relevance of Arranged marriages through history in relation to JP's point.
Citation needed...
Rohan, more like, research needed. I merely bring up the issue based on my limited knowledge. For example, it seems like half the movies from Bollywood deal with arranged marriages, and I suspect it's even more prevalent in rural/tribal areas. That's hundreds of millions, easily. As for most people living their entire lives near where they were born, I think I read that in one of Pinker's books. Like I said though, it's a hypothesis that bears looking into by someone in the field.
There is some truth to this, but ur point discounts the vast amount of time that predates social convention, aka evolution aka our actual biological programming, and everything that comes as a result. U don’t acknowledge cheating women, cuckolding, female satisfaction... the period of time ur talking about dates back roughly 10 thousand years, when ppl discovered agriculture and settled down to create civilization, which is modern. Whereas JP is talking about our biological roots in nature, that date back 100s of thousands, possibly million years, which is ancient. Human nature hasent changed at all, whereas society is changing all the time. So, on a bigger time scale, marriage is actually the new phenomenon.
Marriage and especially arranged marriage is not natural, healthy and/or sustainable in a wild or abundantly rich environment, such as our own, especially for men. U can see this in the divorce rate that resulted from the loosening of the shackles of marriage and the amount of men coming out confused and disoriented. In the Long run it has made men weak little soyboys subject to the whims of female rejection, instead of carving out a hardened warrior covered in scars and blood, which women actually respond to. sexually, on a deep lvl. But pls do tell which one came first lol
There is always ONE !!!
@BrandosEgo do you know if there is a larger video of this??
Starting dance lessons tomorrow
I'll forever be alone because I hate the kind of guy that women find attractive.
This saved me from being seduced by Red Pill ideology.
Fear of approaching women is just fear of success and not being able to focus and engage.
Rejection is 50% of life in all aspects.
What, we have twice as many female ancestors? How
The same Male(s) appears multiple times; an extreme example is ghengis khan