Couples Report from understandmyself.com | Jordan & Tammy Peterson | EP 226
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- Опубліковано 26 тра 2024
- In this episode, Mikhaila, Jordan, and Tammy Peterson cover the Understand Myself Couples Report-a feature in the Understand Myself Personality Report, which you receive after both members of a compete the understandmyself.com process. The idea behind it, as the name suggests, is to help you better understand your own and other people's personalities. After going over Jordan and Tammy’s report, we dive into the different personality types, the benefits of the report, negotiating with your partner, disciplining children, and much more.
Go to understandmyself.com/ to access the Understand Myself assessment.
If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to subscribe!
_______________
Chapters
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[00:00] The Understand Myself Couples Report
[01:17] Agreeableness
[07:54] Motivations in a Relationship
[09:56] The Understand Myself Test
[11:13] Compassion
[12:16] Negotiation
[12:18] Conflict Avoidance
[15:54] Reluctant Agreement
[19:07] Stupidity
[20:35] Politeness
[23:18] How to Bark
[23:38] Extraversion
[23:58] Enthusiasm
[27:42] Assertiveness
[30:54] Conscientiousness
[31:50] Industriousness
[34:14] Orderliness
[36:36] Jordan's Reader's Digest Joke
[37:05] Enthusiasm
[37:44] From Virtue to Pathology
[38:52] Extroverted vs. Introverted Partners
[42:20] Neuroticism
[45:57] Oxytocin, Vasopressin, & Bonding
[50:24] Openness to Experience
[51:21] Intellect
[53:19] Openness
[58:00] Disruption & Meds
[01:00:35] Behind the Self Authoring and Personality Tests
[01:02:14] Personality Tests for Children
[01:04:07] Julian’s Tippy Cup Story
[01:12:15] Disciplining Children
#MikhailaPeterson #JordanBPeterson #TammyPeterson #UnderstandMyself #Relationships #Couples
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Test at www.understandmyself.com
I will allocate the time to listen to this but please keep in mind that young love that blossoms into mature love over a lifetime is a world of difference away from unrequited or lost loves. Heart break has misunderstood and underrated effects on the human experience. You are both truly blessed.
Both words were correct and meant the same thing in context.
Are you planning to offer a match up service based on compatibility of people who don't know each other? Seems a better idea than any of the current dating apps.
31:00 hashtag metoo
I'd really be interested in a podcast or segment on parenting styles according to this personality test. Hope you read this Jordan!
It's so wholesome to watch a family being able to communicate so openly with reflection.
and affection.
This must be the standard
Exactly
Rules rules rules
When there's cameras...
Jordan saying to Mikayla, “That was very sneaky and treacherous of you” with a completely straight face cracks me up 😂
That maybe a symptom of your own personality too XD
@@goingcrazy1019 wtf?
they are " open " not like us always defense our stupidity
timestamp?
It was a bit dramatic/angry.
Growing up, I had no idea that this kind of open communication amongst family members was even possible. It's crazy to think of how different my childhood might have been if my family had been practiced in this sort of thing.
Same. My family talked behind everyone’s backs.
My family didn't even talk. Well elderly had monologues, mostly. and ofcorse undermining everyone who wasn't up their standard.
As a young woman under 30 without both parents at adolescent, Dr. Peterson seriously guided me through life.
How long have you been listening to him?
The best way to learn or to get advice about the relationships and marriages is from people who can actually hold the relationship for a long time! Thank you for this insight, guys!
Yep, I only listen to my parents, 50 years of marriage this June.
@@marvw4166 wow, that’s great!
Me and my girlfriend been together 25 years. We’re as dumb as a box of rocks and happy as I dunno lol. let’s just say we love music and JP. He loves music deeply. I just love all you music loving higher morality guys . Thank you
@@siriusBhive that's an .... interesting self description 😂 but I am truly happy for you guys! 25 years, that's awesome! Happy Valentine's day!
@@andrewwabik5125 Thanks. I remember it wasn't easy when I was watching them growing up, lot of fights. But somehow they made this far. They're in their mid 70s now. It's amazing.
"Conflict avoided is conflict delayed" . I love that quote! This quote can be added to any situation.
And magnified..
@@tkrs5461 ^I think that's important to include.
Amen .i often need time to settle down then i can hash it out.
Although, it is still good to walk away and revisit things if it gets too heated. Can’t resolve things if emotions are too high at the time.
14:11
I am 60 and have never witnessed such capable family interactions and dynamics. It's a whole different world. Ty for sharing so much emotional intelligence.
To be Fair you can't really compare Jordan and his family to the family next door
😂 he is one of the best psychologist of this generation, obviously he can handle his own
@@MsJamilaaa🤣🤣🤣🤣 him being one of the best psychologist of this generation is irrelevant to how he handles his family life, we get it you're neither a psychologist or handle your family well so it's obvious that you and your low IQ thinking will equate the two
@@selfgain9458 only because someone has a high position in career isn't necessarily related to private wellbeing and intelligence in social world. So many famous people witness about broken personalities.
I aspire to have a family like yours one day that is emotionally mature and functional. Thank you for showing us what a good family could be like.
I agree. Especially with a family that each suffer from severe depression. What an inspiration and hope for those that suffer from depression.
Dude , the wife is a typical narcissist 😂😂😂😂
@@zinasherif7791 could be, but she works pretty well against it, don’t you think? And going against your own evil, means being able to truly love. That should be appreciated! ❤
@@cooler.teacher thanks for commenting on my comment ❤️
I can’t confirm your statement as I don’t know her enough to say she’s working against her own evil .
We all aspire to become better human beings, but narcissists are somehow much slower and more stubborn.
She is a good “narcissist” and a very codependent wife 😅
I became secretive because whatever I said I was scolded.
Im from a broken household. So seeing Jordan's face to presumably look back at his wife has a very etheral gentleness to it. You guys seem happy. Genuinely happy, I give best wishes to you guys. Happy Valentines day
He gave her quite a bit of shite though.
@@mayanmist Boy what episode were you watching? He could hardly have gone more out of his way to recognize and state the benefits in the ways she differed from him
@@SepticFuddy lmao once i hopped in the video i was like damn, i got clickbaited
@@mayanmist lpl
@@mayanmist you should definitely work on your listening skills or get your ears checked. Or perhaps you are too busy daydreaming? Either way, you definitely don’t pay attention.
Many years ago I took the Enneagram personality test. It confirmed what I already knew about myself. When I discovered what my husband’s personality was it was so enlightening. I finally realized why he did what he did. One of the most important discoveries in our relationship. By the way we were married in the summer of 1959 and this coming July it will be our 63rd anniversary! We were just a couple of naive kids when we were married and we had the good example of both of parents’ long marriages. Now we’re 82 and 84 and are living our golden years.
Congratulations!! ❤️
Oh wow 🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉
That's amazing
Thank you, Sheila!
Sheila amazing congratulations on 63 years, wishing you many more together. Lots of love
Thanks for all your replies!
Mrs Petersons voice is just so beautiful.
Tammy is so soft spoken. She is so soothing to listen to 🥺
But not soothing to look at. She is sitting with her arms and legs crossed, as is Jordan.
@@tamaliaalisjahbana6849 What an insensitive and naive comment, you do realize this a podcast and there are fixed mics set up in the room so that they have to be sitting in those spots. I hope you can gain a better sense on how to read a room properly, because you certainly misjudged what is going on here by large margin.
@@Nomad1ca calm your tits. It was a valid point. The microphones do NOT account for closed body language
Right! "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."
@@Nomad1ca Perhaps, but they do not both need to be crossing their arms and legs. there is nothing insensitive about commenting on a fact.
As a male with high agreeableness, this was extremely helpful. I can't begin to explain how much this helps me navigate life with my personality orientation.
Ill trade you some of my disagreeableness for some of your agreeableness lol
@@noahsd Meet in a Chinese restaurant and Freaky Friday this shit?
I scored 71 for agreeableness, what does that mean?
@@seanmartin4062 Is it free ? It's showing it's paid on the website in the description.
@@Aditya-gx1xv it is free I just did it, 100 questions but note when you see your scores at the screenshot it all because I don’t know where the results are stored if at all. Good luck x
Really good to see this family smiling and laughing together. Talking seriously one moment, being goofy the next.
They’ve been through so much
Dear Dr. Peterson. I am sure you have heard this from more than a million people, and most definitely more than a million times over. You are the single most important reason why I have built, and I am still trying to build a good, healthy relationship with my parents. I have watched your lectures, and your interviews, I have smiled when you have smiled, and I have cried when something bothered or pained you. I thank you for being a positive influence on me to become a better person, to be good, to be sincere, speak the truth in the face of overwhelming odds, and for having a conscience to speak out when something is wrong. And most importantly, thank you for making me realise how precious my parents are to me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, and I know I speak for more than a million voices who feel the same.
Aoa, hi this is Omer from Pakistan🇵🇰 and a Muslim, I lisn to Mr. Peterson everyday as he inspires me like no other motivational speaker. His vocabulary and delivery is *Chiefs kiss*.
Keep doing the great work you have no idea how many lives you touch for the better in even the minute parts of the globe.
But
What I wanted to say,
The true inspiration and motivation is Mrs. Peterson (Tammy) and Mr. Peterson (Jordon) battle with a horrible disease like kindney cancer and over coming it, thriving over it!!!!
and as a recovering addict myself I can imagine (some what) Mr. Peterson state of mind through his anti-depressant phase.
Anyone can just talk but you guys showed the world.
Mad Respect
Mad Love.
Regards
Omer Aamir
Islamabad, Pakistan🇵🇰
😊😊😊😊
I like your post. 🥰
@@patriciakeats1621 thank you, RESPECT
Also from me in New Zealand. Thank you for your respectful comments.
From California, USA, I loved reading your post and seeing how Peterson's message circles the globe and reminds us of our shared humanity.
"That was very sneaky and treacherous of you," had me dying with laughter! Great conversation with the Peterson's, it was lovely to listen in.
haha it got me as well
Lol me too. How sweet
Yes. That was funny. Although I'm pretty sure all kids do that. It is human nature to try to get what you want. You would not want to lessen your chance of getting what you want by going to the person you thought would be more likely to say no.
I chuckled at that but didn't quite like myself for chuckling. I think Jordan learnt that kind of comment from his wife, becasue its not a very agreeable thing to say. But you three people are close enough tot ake that in stride.
Was saying his daughter was treacherous funny? What his daughter did was what every kid does.
The prayers of millions were answered for Tammy Peterson’s health. And the prayers of millions were answered again for Jordan Peterson. May God be with you and your family now and forever
Literally millions!!! I know of friends praying in a mosque in Richardson, Texas for Tammy and Jordan. God bless 🙏
Mrs is the proper identification of a sheep
🙏🏽 Thank God Almighty that he kept Peterson’s guardian angel earth bound
I truly believe God has big plans for you that you were thrust into the limelight and then you both have gone through suffering …Praying for you both ! Thanks for the Valentines gift of honesty
@@sandyhardy3419 We all have a Cross that we must bare
I would've loved to have had a family bond like this growing up. God bless this family 💕
Me too ...
Me too!
Me too
Me too😞
I think that the couple met when they were very young.
My husband and I have been married for almost 43 years and we have never argued a lot but have had times where he wouldn’t speak to me for a few days. Our communication has improved so much since we are partially retired and not as stressed with life, but understanding each other is key. I had to learn to let him talk without interrupting. That was a big thing for me.
I once went two weeks without talking to my wife.........I didn't want to interupt her🤪
@@lazybuzzard1204 Good one LOL
Food, respect and SEX. That's all we, men, need from our woman to be happy. -Shapiro
@@Greyimm that too. Don't take everything at face value. That quote from Shapiro is a funny generalization, nothing more.
@@Greyimm I would argue that falls into the 'respect' part.
The opening dialogue resonated with me strongly. When I got married as a young man 12 years ago, there were several immature things I screwed up. But one thing I believe I did right is insist upon being open about the things that caused conflict between my wife and I. Never put off talking about things that bother you. What bothers you affects your behavior and you aren't "doing your spouse a favor", but instead a disservice. We'd have a weekly marital meeting where we hashed out the good, the bad, and the ugly and took notes (actual notes with dates) figuring out who we were as a couple and what we could do better, because we both earnestly wanted to be a good partner. We still do this now, over a decade later. I have a master's degree on understanding the soul of the woman I professed was the love of my life, but the PhD is something I haven't reached yet. She was all I was interested in during my late college years, and she is still the person I am most interested in today.
🥺🥺😭😭😭♥️♥️👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Well done sir, well done!
A beautiful comment
master degree/phd statement is a good quote from an old book men are from mars women are from venus
@@GodofDisco Is that where it's from? All I remember is that I heard it a long time ago. So long ago that I think I only had my "bachelor's" degree. (Dad joke)
💙
This conversation made me miss a deep conversation and a close relationship both with my parents and a partner. I am so grateful that Jordan Peterson is somewhat part of my life, and although it feels odd to write it, I feel genuinely connected to a complete stranger. Thank you for yet another little gem of content.
I think I know how you feel. Kinda makes me sad to realise how interesting a relationship I probably could have with that whole family but obviously it's never going to happen because if they had that with everyone who felt this connection, they'd do nothing else.
Doesn't change the fact that it leaves a feeling of loss in me.
That being said, I am happy and grateful that these people exist. Especially in today's world they're like guiding lights for lost souls. I think people like that is what the catholic church has in mind when they talk about saints. Not perfect people but people who just will not stop trying to leave this world a better place.
Not weird or parasocial at all
I feel the same way - might sound weird, but ... when they all barked together, i felt that 😄 I do that too and my family and husband just look at me like i'm crazy.
That was extremely representive of how misunderstood i feel in my relationships, because we seem to have such different outlooks on life.
@@ElnaKristin I'm very excited too have learnt how to bark properly 🤣
I'm with you about it too
This man , this woman , and the daughter have a very very strong mind .
Almost sly , sharp as a knife all of them but at the same time so laid back …
And the way they talk towards each other shows such a depth ..
I am really some kind of an admirerer of this family.
Saw many videos about this man and he is very articulate , could listen to this kind of intervieuws for hours since the pureness is so clear.
I love Mikhaila's subtle smile after her dad said "subtle temptation toward narcissism🤓. What a cool family. Truth about short comings, facing them, and finding how they can be helped, coped with, or overcome.
Samee lmao
My wife and I just took this assessment and wow. It’s insanely accurate and hilarious in a sense of how well it summarizes us. We have such a strong marriage and we like to use our differences to our advantage, and we couldn’t be more different. She scored 98th percentile for Conscientiousness while I’m in the 1st percentile, I thank God for my wife because she literally keeps me from being a bump on a log haha.
Where you are from
What are some ways you use your differences to your advantage?
That "bump on a log" really made me laugh whatever it means
Good Lord, I thought i was low in it, but you won me pretty good.
shoutout to a fellow Conscientiousness 1st-percentiler!
The perfect Valentine's Day episode! Thank you both so much!
Just about to say the same! Thank you Peterson couple indeed!
Perfect comment and episode for a day like today. What a wonderful family.
Ok
This young lady is so fortunate to have such good parents. ❤❤
That one part about the kid who wouldn’t eat and started showing affection to Tammy after being encouraged made me cry.
I love women like Jordan's wife, soft spoken and very capable of expressing herself intelligently.
She's actually a little mean
She’s the type of person that can be scary behind closed doors. Probably a good person but my wife is the same way
@@Thatotter223 soft speaking individuals with those kind of personality test results are not very easy or kind people. Since men have a natural desire to conquer, these women tend to win them cause men never feel like they actually have it all. So It's a constant chase. It's frustrating but it keeps them going. Meanwhile some of us...it's a damn shame.
It's hard to imagine that soft-spoken, sweet voice can be so mean. I had a teacher like that once
@@esthernyamwisi2492 Astute observation & analysis you just made there.
Best part: Dad’s worry about impacting daughter’s happiness. Daughter’s declaration that she’s happy. Mom’s response that that’s good. So sweet ♥️
I know right? It was such a small tender moment that I definitely was touched by as well 🥰🥲💙
What minute was that?
@@apa208 It ends at 40:41 (you can search through the transcript to find specific words).
Yes I loved that part too
@@MarcinaRiley Where do you find the transcript?
There needs to be more podcasts with interesting families like this. These represent real human experiences.
Since teenagehood my daughter and i have met once a week to discuss anything tough, anything that needs doing, anything we need from one another. This has been invaluable to avoiding conflict but actually getting things done.
Imagine the joy the must feel seeing their child grow into a capable and accomplished respectable human being. I wonder if I can ever get to that point.
You know they have 2 kids right? Lol Julian doesn't like the spotlight
When they're teenagers, it's really hard to vision this, lol. Are yours teenagers?
Well... did she actually? The whole drama about her weird "Lion Diet" website? The temporary seperation from her husband? The constant half-naked posing on social media? I am sorry but what I don't see here is this young woman forming a life outside her father's shadow. I know his fame is making enough money for all of them - but the way she behaves at times just doesn't appear healthy. Also it must upset him to a certain degree, that his intellect isn't met by his family. I'm sure they're lovely people, but he constantly interrupts both of them and finishes their sentences... Seems like low regard and boredom to me.
Mikhaila is a complete car crash. She has a rich Daddy though so she'll be ok.
Meow
You must not know anything about Mikhaila lol
Plus she got a ton of plastic surgery
You can see in his bearing and the way he looks at his wife that she is everything to him. Her very existence fills him with such joy it's a pleasure to witness it.
Agree, it’s fantastic. Must’ve been a pleasure for their children to grow up with it
Unfortunately women are turned off by this traits
I have a hunch that Tammy is only with him cuz she settled
Even though I could be wrong
@@nezarl8374 woah there, not all women lol.
@@nezarl8374 (as a woman) lmao no absolutely not. You're wrong
@@nezarl8374 too may redpills swallowed
47.30 mins is the most precious moment of this interview. Absolutely hilarious and so beautiful. Much love to you all. ❤
I scored so badly on all of these things… Exceptionally low agreeableness, compassion, conscientiousness, politeness, openness, industriousness, extroversion, tidiness and enthusiasm. But I was exceptionally high on assertiveness and neuroticism. I am a Christian who has been labeled with PTSD, anxiety and depression. I see now how it has affected my personality. Father God, please fill me with Your Spirit and lift me from this heap through Jesus Christ name. 🥺♥️🔥
When Tammy and Jordan started barking at each other, I just lost it. That was so silly yet so authentic and cute at the same time.
I read this comment before I saw that part and took it metaphorically, and had a laugh when I realized you meant literally barking at each other. Good stuff.
I somehow learned to bark thanks to Jordan.
@@super95legend Same. Gotta inhale to make it sound real lol. He's taught me a lot, that Peterson.
Timestamp?
@@eminenception 25:10
Through this conversation , I'm being reminded of what a picture of the core values off a family is , in a world that is constantly trying to make us forget that, this is truly a gem. Thank you.
Agreed.
I love how their outfits are coordinated colors. So in tuned with each other. A true role model
I noticed that.
The more i learn about Sir Peterson, and his family the more respect and love i have towards them.❤ FYI: i watch him a lot😂
The story with the little boy was deeply touching. I strive to build a family like yours, also hard to express the proper amount of gratitude for this channel and content!!! I feel like a THANK YOU just not enough! I wish ALL THE BEST IN LIFE FOR YOU❤🙏
The story about the "he won't eat" kid is heartbreaking.
I once heard second hand about a parent saying that they regretted having their child, in front of that child and one of her friends. It made me so angry to hear, I meditated on it for hours.
I agree with your reactions. You must rate high on compassion. We can only pray for that little boy (and the situation you overheard) and trust that God sent other people into their lives, like He sent the Peterson’s into that boy’s life for that one day, and that he has been able to overcome with a positive result. In the meantime, so many people can learn from these stories and be a benefit to others. So many people we cross paths with every day have had to deal with so much. They could all use a hug and an encouraging word. ❤️ Thanks for sharing.
I think the proper response (not that I would have thought of it at the time..) oh, really? (Big smile!) It just so happens that I'm looking to adopt another great boy/girl! Which hopefully would elicit a better response from the parent. When i was 16, my dad said if he knew how expense girls were, he never would have had one... thing is, he wasn't completely kidding...i have a sibling in heaven i'm waiting to meet.
I've been married 34 years this year. Just listening to the teaser. this is what REAL marriage is. Problems, you bet. REsolved? often only part way. WORK? Yep. Joy? sometimes. Pain? Yep, that too. Meaning? Sometimes more than you want. Worth it? Yes. Probably for most people. Maybe not for everyone because EVERYONE is a lot of people.
EVERYONE is a lot of people is a serious understatement. XD
God bless you Paul, ya legend
I started out ambivalent, and then I grew to genuinely like and enjoy these people. Their honesty is engaging and relatable.
We have been married for 45 years and yes, work through all things until you resolve them together. Be honest and quick to forgive. Then make changes the other person can see.
God bless all married couples.❤
It's hard to express how enjoyable, insightful, and meaningful this episode was. The dynamic of you three together is a gift :)
@@stephenmacdonald9063 not necessary
The family that grifts together, stays together 🤔
@@stephenmacdonald9063 prolly u don't have a family. I am the Jesus Christ, who notices a miserable man when i see one 😅
@@stephenmacdonald9063 Your preoccupation with “child diddling” makes me think you're a past victim and current perpetrator yourself.
Get some help, or not.
@@stephenmacdonald9063 Maybe an exorcist.
Jordan Peterson has visible qualities of what some of the stories in the BIBLE explain about learning from life trials. I am so grateful for finding his content. As a single black man, whom is searching for that type of peace in a partnership, it brings me temporary joy to hear these conversations. Videos such as this gives me hope for a future with someone else. I do agree that working on self reflection or accountability is necessary to becoming an understanding teammate in a relationship.
Thank You for this video!
Love from Raymond
I completely agree with you. They say that if you wait for it, the special person will come to you but, I beg to differ. Like the Bible states, "seek and you shall find"...it never said sit in a corner and you shall find. Jordan Peterson has wisdom and knowledge that has helped me through the years on improving my own thought patterns on several different subjects. Thank you for posting your comment.
Heavenly Father, I lift up Raymond and pray for his hearts desires. I pray that You would help him on his journey in life to be the man you desire him to be. Use him for such a time. I pray provision of all his needs and blessings from heaven above. Speak to his heart and give him ears to hear Your voice. May Your peace rest deep in his soul as he seeks Your face and reads Your Word. In Jesus name, amen and amen. 🙏🏼🕊✝️🙏🏼
Amen!
Raymond, I can recommend you to work on creating the peace you want within you. (Find peace within - don’t seek it without.) Changing that will change you and you will attract someone different from what you used to - and fits the person you’d became.
Wish you all the best on your journey. You’ll hopefully look back and see that’s the greatest that ever happened in your life - deciding to make this change. Life will take you there if you commit to the process.
I hope you're doing well, Raymond. Thank you for sharing that insight. It gives me hope to see others express these thoughts because I think they're true. Good luck on your journey. I hope to see you on the road :)
I am 7 years into my marriage. We have our similarities and differences. But if I can sit and reflect on my marriage and family when I'm older and my children are grown up and come close to 50% of the magic the Peterson family are showing in this video I'll die a happy lady.
Thank you for being wonderful models for living life as a family and sharing yourselves with the world. Pure love.
It's so lovely to see jordan so relaxed & at ease & genuinely smiling, he's always so on & needing to be so defensive in most of his interviews that to see him like this is rlly touching :')
agreed. I had a smile on my face almost during the entire interview. I love watching their family interact.
In my perspective; when Jordan expresses his frustration and anger, its extremely entertaining and I usually agree with his point of view 😊 👍🏽
Agreed. Lovely smile, unconditional..
I disagree with you completely. He is quite relaxed, even in high conflicting conversations.
Jordan relaxed? He has squeezed himself into the furthest corner of the sofa and sits bunched up into himself with his hands crossed. Something is not being expressed in their words.
You know, every time Tammy speaks I get so drawn into her and eager to hear what she's going to say, and because she says the least it makes me even more eager to listen and learn from her. She takes her time when she speaks and is deliberate in what she wants to say. A very good adult figure for kids growing up or even young adults. I could honestly listen to her and learn from her for hours! She should really make her own podcast for women, I've learned a lot from her as a young woman and hope to utilise these skills when I'm a mother myself one day. To think I was/still is an avid fan of Jordan to then one day admire and listen to his wife even more! I can see how influential she must have been. Great advice from both of you :)
Hi, dropping by to tell you about a podcast you might be interested in.
Look up Wife of the Party episode 57, titled Married to Comics. It's here on UA-cam.
As a man I found it to be a really interesting podcast that was full of feminine energy, and seeing you talk about a podcast for women made me think of it. Hopefully you enjoy it if you check it out!
@@ZacharyDial hey, thanks for that! I will deffo check it out :D
Loving this! Married 18 years to the same man, our rules have always been never lie, dont yell, discuss seperate from the children if the discussion gets heated💓
Copied…will share with my lady
Screenshot and sending to hubby for a latter discussion 😍
They worked hard to keep their family together. Jordan put them through a lot. It is easy to just walk away from your problems. More people must learn to communicate with each other, The Petersons seem to have a deep love and respect for each other. A sense of humor plays a good part in this too. Thank you for posting this.
I took the test and I’m in shock. I never realized how wrong about myself I was. I always thought I was a very agreeable person, but I scored low in agreeableness, low in politeness, and exceptionally high in neuroticism. I followed the test instructions perfectly. This is by far the most insightful and accurate personality test I’ve ever taken before. Thank you, Dr. Peterson for creating such a helpful tool
Interesting, what behaviors led you to think you were high in agreeableness, and why do you think you scored low on it? Same with politeness and neuroticism? It's interesting when one's self perception deviates from an "objective" measure. Do you think this is more telling of the accuracy of the measure itself or the difficulty in one's ability to self-perceive? Or a bit of both? I personally haven't taken it, but definitely will. I'm a big fan of Dr. JP and the incredible work he has been doing in revitalizing order in world full of chaos! :)
@@bryant475 perhaps I thought I was somewhat extroverted and agreeable because I can be talkative at times, especially for work. But outside of that, I get anxious and exhausted by socialization. I also find that I don’t mind conflict so that’s why my scores make sense. I think I wanted to believe I was agreeable and extroverted because I admire those traits in others, like Jordan Peterson for instance. But the test made me realize it’s just not true for me
I had a very similar reaction to the test! I really understand myself better now, having taken it. Would recommend it to anyone.
@@simplygina7703 Regarding your desire to be agreeable, or seem agreeable. After taking the test, and listening to Jordan's 2017 personality lectures, I found all kinds of manipulative behavior in my life, where I was trying to convince myself that I was something different than I really am.
It was such a relief to realize that the things I believed were false. It meant that much of my inner anguish was optional. I just had to stop lying to myself, and suddenly I could redeem all of this wasted energy I used to spend dogging myself, to start doing things I enjoy, instead.
@@zeynand4039 "...creative hobbies... made me feel more alive than ever." 👍🏻 Yep! That's exactly what the test was attempting to measure. Interest, not ability. Obviously, interest can develop ability, so don't dismiss your skill out of hand, either.
I have the same sensation with intellectual hobbies, and somewhat with creative ones. My OCEAN scores express that, too!
After hearing this talk and seeing their happiness after everything they went through, they've got this 18 year old kid thinking having a family is worth it after all. Thanks, and cheers!
Jacob. Yes! Very good to see someone here who is 18, and learning. Always keep learning new things, no matter what happens.
It is too bad so many young people are not being taught basic life wisdom, and good values.
Have no idea where you come from (emotionally, psychologically).
"Know thyself" is key to a good life, and finding the right person.
Just remember, you have this one life, what are going to do with it?
As the poet Mary Oliver wrote..."Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" 🌿
My wife and I are waiting for our girl to be born, and this has given me reason to look into the "family" related content here. I am also on my third year taking a degree in psychology (witch is how i found this channel in the first place). First i found the psychology here inspiring, and now I find these golden caves of insight into how to keep a good family; making your child socially desireable, how to disipline, and how to understand your partner. I hope there will be more content like this, and I also hope that you get into discussions and conversation talking about different ways to bring up a child. Because there is alot of ways to do it, and it would be great to get more insight into these matters, and the differences between people. Also, Im inspired by your valor of honesty, and the war you are fighting is fueling my desire to speak up again about what I consider to be right and wrong, lies and truth. Thank you Jordan, Tammy and Mikhaila
25:00 is such a contagiously cute family moment. Couldn't help but smile like a fool watching them talk about barking.
My husband and I have been together for 16 years, we met when we were 18! We have been through many struggles and are stronger than ever! Great advice! 👍
Our broken home generation need hundreds of conversations like this from the Peterson couple and more because we need hope and inspirations!
True! Thank you, Peterson family! ❤️ I'd call it brave rather than impolite at 51:25 when Tammy questioned Jordan's language 😳 😅
Yes. Agree!
Yeah these single motherhood issue has become absolutely tragic, not just for the mothers themselves but because kids don't get to see how interpersonal romantic relationships should be modeled.
@@equatorialjourney4478 It's a very challenging and complicated journey, especially today. It's not about being the perfect family or perfect couple (or more intelligent person), but striving to be more unified with better communication and loving patience. They *are* modelling that very difficult challenge, in very effective and interesting ways and with mutual respect. It's inspiring and fascinating.
@@stephtimms1776 Ayyiyi .....did u watch right to the end to see Jordan salivate over his lab rat style of parenting . No effing wonder Mikaela is & was such a basket case of obsessive compulsions and that Tammy looks zoned out, care worn and resigned to the life she accepted . The man is certifiable ..... Napoleonic complex , enabled by others , his whole life .
Absolutely amazing. I have bipolar and adhd. I’m a split of both personalities and my husband will do whatever it takes to not cause friction with anyone, to the point of burying his head in the sand. I would love more of this, I’ve learned a great deal. Thank you 🙏
I love Tammy Peterson. Every good man has a great woman. And Jordan is beyond great. So i can't imagine how amazingly great this woman must be. We love you Tammy.
Jordan really enjoyed reminiscing about his family life. He obviously loves his wife and children deeply. I love that he and Tammy disciplined their children who have become responsible adults.
Admittedly they've been brave about putting it all out there. However, they have not created a responsible parent in their daughter.
She's out clubbing, while someone else babysits her children.
@@sirvivor7835 Just wondering if the daughter is out clubbing all the time or sometimes only?
I'm so glad your wife is doing better Jordan. I wish you both the best.
That first bit, about being conflict avoidant: AMEN...I marred a conflict avoidant man...we're still married 55 years later but it's been work...we married young so we both had to grow up too...and we had babies young...our poor kids suffered for sure...BUT..we loved them, they knew it and love covered a multitude of our sins and failings.
It is the first couple where the man talks more than the woman.
I love hearing how intellectual people deal with obstinate children. Bless you all.
Far more important is that they are wise people.
It sounds as though the mother in the story who said her child doesn't need to eat may have been an intellectual person as well.
@@Jadlerify She let the child control her though. Being intelligent is not a catch-all for proper behavior. We all can learn to be better in all our relationships because it doesn't come with a manual.
I got my husband a Valentine’s Day card that says, “Nobody gets me like you get me. Maybe there’s something wrong with you.” 🤣
my husband got me that same card!
Hubby got that one from me, too!!!
Oh me too!
That is adorable.
😂
I was inspired by this when you first posted it, and am watching again tonight. My marriage fell apart after 30 years. I think couples need to spend time with seasoned couples like you and learn from them. My ex-husband and I did not do that. What a beautiful family you are.
❤❤
Loved this. My son was one who could hold his breath until he passed out. Did it at daycare and they reported us to child authorities as they believed he had to have been sick and we hadn’t taken him to the doctor. They came out with police and after interviewing us required a doctor letter to prove there was nothing medically wrong from 2 doctors. The doctors were like are you kidding. Haha :) He is 29 now and still knows his own mind and doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want/have to. ;) (low in agreeableness) lol
"Let's hash it out right now despite the fact that will make me sweat, raise my blood pressure and exhaust me"😂😂😂 Jordan Peterson never disappoints in shocking you with his statements!
@@equatorialjourney4478 when u try and use complex vocabulary but dont know what the hell ur talking about
This is a much better orientation into partnering for life than the New Age Movement 's search for a soul mate. Lovely and honest and funny with lot's of practical tips. Thank you all.
I found New Ageism to be in par with escapism and wishful thinking. It’s a good path for those not ready to take responsibility for their lives I feel
Agreed!
New Age is generally very dangerous and the spread of it as a matter of fact contributed a lot to the deconstruction of society.
The soul mate thing is usually a safe way into destruction. Of one's own and the other person as well. Highly egocentric, suffocating, hedonistic, and misleading.
We need a good brain washing to get back to sane ideas and frameworks :)
And wash away the bugs in the system :))
@@TheShamuraja wrong and wrong. When organized religion tore my psychology apart, spirituality put it back together. Also your idea of soul mates is wrong. We have multiple soulmates in our lives; oftentimes they are friends or family members in addition to being lovers, and ALL of them teach us lessons. Not all those lessons are easy to learn.
Maybe don't talk about things you know nothing about 🤫
@@BenBigelow3 wrong and wrong again. My spirituality forced me to take responsibility for my actions and decisions, whereas my former Christian beliefs would have me "leave it all up to God."
Maybe don't talk about things you know nothing of 🤫
Susan, soulmates find us, not the other way around. You know not of what you speak 🙊
Really enjoyed this presentation. Not only the availability of each family members contribution, but the warmth, respect and at times humor of which each topic is discussed.
It is evident to see the tenderness on Jordans face, the interactions of family situational humour and the unspoken glances of silent affirmations & understanding between Tammy and Mikhaila.
Thankyou Peterson Family for being brave and yes, vulnerable.
You are a lovely family, and the role models we need in this world. Love the intelligence of all of you. God Bless~
My wife and I are celebrating 41 years of marriage today- 15 of those living with growing children on other continents. We appreciate and agree with so much of what you shared. Christ has been central to your relationship and is foundation of our adult childrens' lives also. We praise God that they both have strong, healthy marriages also.
Amen brother. Isaiah 55:8 God bless you!
Sadly Jesus is a prophet of God not God himself
@@fahimahmed-lg9sh I understand the Quran says that, but I cannot deny my faith in Jesus Christ through the Bible, I’ve had many personal experiences to deny, but I respect you for believing full heartedly in the Quran
@@IFoundAUsername2 You Don't have to lose faith in Jesus (peace be upon him) You should follow What bible says rather than what church says about Jesus (peace be upon him)
@@fahimahmed-lg9sh, Ah this is the key difference in Islam verses Christian theology.
This is so fascinating, and I am so thankful for modern medicine so we can see both Dr Peterson and his wife in good health again sharing all these stories going back years ago. Salute to the entire Peterson family.
I feel the same. So thankful they are on the road to health. Just don’t do too much too soon.
True that! I'd also like to add that I'm thankful for alternative health so that Mikhaila could be here, too
I am elated that Dr Peterson and family are doing well!!
Mr Peterson, thank you so much for ALL of your content! 🙏 I can not wait to do this with my wife, and likely our daughters! 😁 This video is amazing. What an absolute treasure you've been for all of us struggling through the monotonous daily grinds of this F'd up current day life 🙂. A million thanks from a broken old tradesman kind Sir! ❤️
All of our relationship problems for the last 2 years has been his insecurities about our 9.5 years age difference. And my sex drive. His lack of ability as many men have at his age. He's been convinced I'll leave him for someone younger in order to be satisfied. I FINALLY CONVINCED HIM I WOULDN'T LEAVE BY GIVING IN!!!!! I AGREED TO A DIVORCE... AT HIS REQUEST. Then he decided... well... maybe not. So we made it over that hurdle. Our relationship is different now... so very different... after 22 years of him afraid. He's not afraid any more.
My son is so open & extraverted that I can't count how many times when he was growing up I had to remind him that he didn't have to say everything that came into his head. He is trusted & very well liked in our community today.
I wish someone had told me that, when I was young, but it was my 18 year old son who finally did! Thank goodness that although I was mostly a single mom, his dad was also a big part of his life, and not like me!
Your love has always seemed so pure and beautiful. Hearing the two of you talk about each other puts a smile on my face every time. Can't wait to listen to this, happy Valentine's Day everyone!
“Conflict avoided IS conflict delayed and magnified.” 100%.
I always tell be learn to get comfortable in uncomfortable situations. It’s the only way to find solutions rather than create a bigger problem.
I learned a lot from these conversations ....and I can tell you people lernrt a lot of daily experiences they gone through life and what they saying are truly experiences we been through life all the past years and our relationships to people around us. Thanks a lot...God bless you all and continue to do all your doing about us people...I think you do a lot of goodness to all of us.
So many people have said to me & my husband over the years, "we've never gone to bed on an argument, you must always resolve it before the sun goes down!". It's nice to see a lasting couple that have done what we've done, gone to sleep and figured it out tomorrow! I wonder if people are lying about resolving things immediately! 🤣
I always thought that expression was more about being angry - the door-slamming "Good-night!", than the necessity to bash something out, before going to bed.
Going to bed, acknowledging that you can try for resolution the next day, is not angry.
In my book of almost 10 years of marriage thoughts (LOL, should really write a pamphlet and such for fun and ... anyways....) I count the agreement that we'll be better able to work on a problem the next day as a form of resolution. You resolve that you both want it to go well and are willing to do whatever that means. I have done all 4:
(I have learned many things from the example and advice of others... some areas I have the painful road of trying all approaches for myself)
Going to bed angry without knowing whether they are packing things up in their mind really sux, pardon my language.
Going on fighting late into the night sux too.
Going to bed with only one of you thinking we'll work on it later and then you start a fight about the fight's resolution before resuming something like the first fight sux as well.
Both going to bed agreeing to work on making things better is not totally comfy but is the best if it needs the time or subconscious work to happen before a solution.
Obviously you want mostly to have GRACE (5 letter word for the non-quadratic table response) given to you by which I mean; the ability to smoothly handle a problem when it comes up quickly, with both parties sufficiently satisfied with the outcome. I say it's grace b/c we're all so blody different it's amazing we manage to agree to much at all with satisfaction.
Bible says the same...wisdom available for 1000s of yrs
That "you must always resolve it before the sun goes down" sounds like superstition, magical thinking. Like if the sun goes down before you kiss the prince, your fate is sealed, you're doomed. There's no logic behind this. Although... maybe it's like the old prayer goes, there's is a small chance you could die in your sleep and in that case you don't want to leave behind an unsolved conflict with someone you care about. So it's better to go to sleep with clean conscience.
@@JOHNVS7 when I have gone to bed angry I start fantasizing about life after divorce... or murdering my spouse... perhaps that is what *solomon*?'s thinking was as he wrote it... I get the inspiration of God is involved and he gives some rules for some but different ones for others (Paul shall not call unclean what God says is clean)
Seeing Jordan allow himself to be in a vulnerable position so that we may all benefit is such a beautiful gift.
Yes, absolutely.
They seem as a very sweet couple, talking to each other with such tenderness.
Just took your test-THANK YOU for making this personality test both affordable and insightful.
I love the Petersons!
Much gratitude for openly sharing your lives. The world needs to see true commitment and again conversation with each other.❤
Good to see this side of Jordan with wife Tammy. Husband and Wife's personalities balance each other to make the optimal force required for children upbringing. Well done you guys, Mikaela is a prime example and stunner - so is Tammy! Have two girls myself and brought them up alone, youngest one came to me at 15 and I see the negative effects not having discipline and strong boundaries has. But not giving up on her! Thanks for the reminder that I am doing the right thing!
Wow, such an exceptional bond between all of them. Healthy husband wife, parent child relationship, real team, you cannot fake it. Every parent should watch it and draw conclusions from it.
His wife seems so sweet, kind and genuine, and I love how they started as best friends. I can picture Jordan as being somewhat of a difficult person to live with, but he's also a compassionate humanitarian so it balances out.
“When questions pop up in my mind, I need to ask them” That is me totally. People see it as ego, it’s enthusiasm. I love conversation and I can’t help but say what I feel. So so true.
Hi. Why do they see it as ego ? I believe it’s quite humble
@@Noemieorokia That really depends on the nature of the question, and how it's asked. Someone who values politeness might think you had a big ego if you interrupted them or asked in a blunt way.
Yeeeah. Me TOO !?!? I have been lied to and decieved for so many years by him that it has given me .... ' TRUTH DIAORRIAH ' ;)))))
Yeah, I am bit like that too.
One friend gets mad, and would feel interrupted, another friend is so aggressive in loudness, and wanting to dominate conversations, I can barely get a word in edgewise if I disagree. Has been very frustrating.
"that's very sneaky and treacherous of you." I laughed so hard at this reaction of his 😂 I can never imagine my father saying this to me if I said the same 😂
Not many people let along families would make them this vulnerable online. Thank you to the Peaterson family ❤ Such an honest and intimate family conversation. Thank you ❤❤
This is such a gift. I can't believe they have had exactly the same dynamics and disagreements as my fiance and I. Seriously, this is an incredible change for my relationship. He is like me and she is like my partner, this is unbelievably helpful. I mean to a tee they are describing my fiance and I. This makes me so hopeful.
Thank you, Tammy, for validating that sleeping on a situation is ok and a good way of pondering without ruminating continuously. Thank you, Jordan, for validating my SOs tendency of ruminating on an issue and getting progressively more annoyed at it.
We have so much similarity to your story and I'm grateful to know that it's ok, as long as we're willing to work together to resolve it.
Thank you, Mikhaila, for being willing to be so open and honest with your parents. It's refreshing to see a child guide a conversation and be willing to listen to the truth of the answers
Will you stop thanking so much. Jesus!
This convinced me to purchase it for my wife and myself. I'd been wanting to do it for ages. Married (mostly) happily for 10.5 years. You've helped me help myself become a better person for her and my family. Thank you!
I would buy that gift for a total stranger if they asked me! I believe that test makes the world a better place.
Do you feel like sharing anything surprising you learned from it?
@@jpaugh64 hey i am not able to afford that test, if you can gift me this test i'll be higly appreciate you and can't thank you enough. Only if you can i am not demanding it from you. Thank you nonetheless.
Jordan and his wife's picture is a reminder to me that it's possible to still live sanely in the world. Thank you Mr and Mrs Peterson, we owe you a debt that will be extremely hard to pay.
This may be the single best source I’ve found for relationship and parenting advice. Thank you for being so open and lovely!
I'm definitely going to be taking the personality test again after these last 2 plus years of "the Virus" effects on my life. Things snowballed so crazy. Starting with me pulling my kids from public middle school to ultimately homeschool 100%(after learning that they were having them test for school profit, the school limiting their breaks to 40 minutes a day total, bathroom requests were stigmatized, and to top it off a MONTH of "Sex Ed" and "woke" assemblies without parental consent); deciding to get out of Pediatrics and the medical field in whole once i caught onto how it has been used to control rather than help; my husband leaving me and my 3 kids (he was stepdad) because things were getting "too hard". Yeah, I'd say my life and personality have changed. 😂 No regrets! ❤️
@@Arttruthseeker Thank you! I had to learn to turn all of what use to be constant resentment- from not understanding my frustration of being limited to this vessel-into love. Love and patience for those who don't remember how to access the answers locked inside them. There was no way I was going to let my kids grow up in this world, in the ignorance I had, and endure needless suffering. When I first heard of Dr.P years ago, I was immediately drawn at the unapologetic truth he spoke. We all have our moment of awakening with this man...God has definitely worked His way into his life.
@@steveb6718 I know right 😂
@@steveb6718 I will look into it, thank you 😊
Tammy's response to Mikayla saying "I'm happy" at 40:40 was incredibly powerful and nearly brought me to tears. Her voice felt like it had so much depth in it, and knowing that Mikayla went through so much suffering due to health issues in her life... Tammy sounded relieved and proud I guess
Any sorrow for her husband?
Meow
There is nothing more fulfilling and quite a relief for a parent to know their child is happy. It’s kind of like a sigh of relief , a confirmation that you did good .
its beautifull.. it was a quick response.. straight from the heart.. she verbalized it... im sure jordan thought it
I think you’re over analyzing the situation.
@@JourneyDestination why do you feel that way?
I've had a couple of times where I've been randomly complemented on the behaviour of my littles. I remind them from time to time how they made me proud. I've also had a little girl ask if she could live with us after I was stern with them at a sleep over. That little boy story reminded me of that. What most hurts is that your hands are tied.