I'm wondering if it's over for good. I know one baby makes it more difficult for the work tasks and having two DEFINITELY shifts things. Maybe her channel will be only lifestyle content from here on out. If that is the case, I'm glad she left us with a solid library to fall asleep to!
I’ve been told by a therapist that, statistically, couples report their least satisfactory years are when they have toddlers. It helped me hang in there. Take care ❤
Ideally but in real life having kids destroys relationships. They were struggling just b4 she got pregnant and this may be the last nail in the coffin...2 kids so close together in time...that is hard as fuck.
I've struggled in my relationship with the idea of having a child or not having a child and how both choices would affect us. We decided children aren't for us for a lot of good reasons. I feel like there is so much pressure put on parents now with the amount of time just focusing on kids. I applaud your awareness, and I wish you and Nick a lot of grace and love on your journey, figuring out being parents in a relationship.
From personal experiences and friends experiences, people with a history of addiction will struggle a lot with escapism and feeling overwhelmed when having new children. At least for a while. Its a completely new adjustment even for those that didnt struggle with that in the past. Its just a matter of taking it day by day, finding what brings you joy and communicate. Becoming a parent, often ppl litterally find themselves mourning their life before children. Even though you love your children, the first few years is an adjustment. Eventually, you come to realize you are still you, but different and evolved. Also when raising children, every phase and every stage is temporary, the good ones and the not so good ones 😆.
Nearly dying helped my relationship 🤣 After my partner and I had our twins, we struggled a lot. We even separated for about 2 months. We got back together but fell into a rut, we went like...6 years without any kind of intimacy, like no holding hands, certainly no romance. During this time, I started to get really sick and then I went into cardiac arrest. I almost died. I was on life support for two weeks, then spent another few weeks having to be in a facility getting IV antibiotics (54 days total). When I got out, he definitely appreciated me more and even our love life rekindled. I don't recommend trying to revitalize your relationship in this way. 😅
@@woodyx10 yaaaaaaas! Like maybe a hug before either of us left for work, kiss kinda on the cheek but near the mouth but not on the mouth. But not because I wanted other ppl, just not my partner, I didn't want to be intimate with anyone.
Honor has grown so much! She’s beautiful Julia ❤❤ And Happy Belated Birthday! ETA: thank you for being open about your relationship with the ups and downs. It’s refreshing and I appreciate it your honesty. It’s like talking to an old friend with their perspective and helps us(or at least me) examine our own relationships. Thank you Julia ❤
i appreciate your honesty. relationships are hard work. social media rewards people for making theirs look perfect. we need to remember that we’re all just working through our own shit. thank you for the reminder
Julia, I have been with my husband 35 years and there are still things we continually work on. Relationships constantly change and as we roll through phases in life it changes again. Our only child is a disabled adult. We are winding down into retirement and we have taken on my elderly disabled mother so things have changed once more . The evolution of one’s relationship is constant.
Really glad you’re sharing relationship struggles! This is supposed to be normal, and I’m glad you both are finding a way to understand and work through it. I’m a strong believer of perfect isn’t real when it comes to relationships because it’s two people with different upbringings and beliefs coming together and the overlap of beliefs is limited. I constantly battle the real versus the media and the struggles I know I face within my personal relationship (romantic and friendship). I hope the best for you and your family. Thank you for being real and raw. Always rooting for you!
Little kid time is really a test for a lot of relationships. So much changes so quickly. The child changes quickly, your roles in the household change, your priorities. I've been married almost 20 years, and we've definitely had ups and downs of all sorts, but the shift into parenthood was the most difficult on us. Honestly, we struggled the first few years with kids. Just look for the best in each other and don't let the struggles with each other overshadow the sweet and short season you're in with your babies. Best of luck to you guys!
My husband and I are retired, and we are spending so much wonderful time together. It's like falling in love all over again. We remember the difficult times. Just like you we talk about it and we encourage other couples to talk through it.
I think your bitterness, resentful attitude and constant consumption of scary political messaging probably doesnt help your situation at all. Gratitude is the foundation of my marriage.
I have been with my husband for 7 years and there is so much pressure to present a perfect front to people, but the reality is that magic is not what keeps people together for years and years. People who love each other so much can get shit on over and over again by circumstance and end up ripped apart and then people who aren't that right for each other might not face difficult trials and end up together a long time. There is a lot of work that goes into relationships and it can be so lonely to keep it all to yourself just to save face.
Watching your vlog while feeding my 2 month old and feeling this completely! Long term relationship, surprise pregnancy which was incredibly traumatic and baby was in Nicu for 3+ months (he’s actually 5 months, 2 months corrected). Our communication is horrible, we fight constantly over such mundane stuff and I feel heart broken that one of the happiest times in our lives has been so tough. These huge life changes are so difficult to manage for even the strongest of couples. Thank you for speaking about it. No judgment at all, just solidarity. ❤️
I appreciate you talking about your relationship. It’s real shit and I applaud you for that authenticity. We all innerstand it deeply. Especially longterm relationships. It’s a different kind of experience that not many people talking about or even get through these days.
I'm so glad you uploaded today- earlier I commented on your last video that I hoped you were ok- and then hours later- this! 🙂 I appreciate your authenticity so much.. it's fresh air on YT- along with your intelligence. Thank you.
Thank you for being so genuine on social media in regard to your relationship. It’s really refreshing to see that. We are all human, and as such, most of us will experience a full range of emotions (the good and not-so-good) in our long-term relationships (including friendships and relationships with family members, not only romantic connections). As you said, kind and loving communication and working on ourselves when needed definitely helps to create more positive interactions.
Struggles are so normal in long term relationships/marriages. We all tend to fall into routines and sometimes those routines are easy but they're not healthy for our relationships. Once you get in that rut too, it can be really hard to get out of it. It can be really hard, but usually really worth it when you can come to a better place in your relationship.
Hi Sweet Julia, Im 18 years in to marriage and it ebbs and flows. I wish people would be more honest about relationships because they want to push the big romance on us all but the truth is that the most wonderful love anyone can hope for is a partner that stays in the good, the bad and all in between. You're doing an amazing job. Thanks for sharing with us and I'm always rooting for you❤❤ S.
Happy belated bday! And so glad the anatomy scan went well. You guys are gonna go far. You have built and are building such a loving, open, and communicative environment with your growing family. My husband and I have been together since we were 17 years old and we are 36 now. We have two kids, have been through pregnancy losses, sickness, financial struggles, deployments, moves, the works. We have had to break down walls and rebuild together so many times. Without that, you don't grow. You go through the changes and after you adapt you realize just how much stronger you've become. You are doing great. ❤
love this, i’m 24 and learning so much from your videos Julia. have been watching your asmr and vlogs for a long time. struggling with relationships and what i want to do i life. Thanks to this kind of content, i know its just a part of life and to always be kind to myself.
Absolutely relationships go through ups and downs and so many changes. I wouldn’t make sense for things not to change after years. What makes the relationship special and worth it is the ability to always work through it and talk about it. I appreciate you shedding light on this topic because even though it’s so normal and even healthy many people tend to forget that.
Life is an adventure. It's like always being in a giant never ending amusement park. Sometimes we are in the spook house or the roller coaster or on the merry-go-round. Sometimes we are having a picnic by the lake. The adventure is sometimes painful or challenging or exciting or pleasant and so on. We must never take things so seriously that we fail to see the adventure. It all goes by so quickly and then we go home. I had a near death experience 30 years ago and had to make the choice to go back into my body. I'm so glad I did. This life is an amazing adventure. Always experience everything in that way. Much love and happiness to all. ❤❤❤
So good seeing you! I echo the “I miss your asmr” posts from others. It’s just good to see your face, see sweet Honor (she’s growing up!), and can’t wait to whiteness you becoming a wonderful mother of two. ❤❤
Dear Julia. Your honesty and realness, I believe, are much appreciated by all of us. You are very relatable and that is what brings us back here and causes us to take an interest in your life and cheer you on. I know I am not alone in wishing you a wonderful rest of your pregnancy and for your beautiful, growing family - the most lovely future.❤
Just reading the comments is a testimony to hiw valuable it is to share our struggles. No one is alone, no one is perfect and we are continually growing and changing. That's why communication and quality time is so important. Honor will also benefit from that time. Thank you for being vulnerable with us. I'm so so happy that your pregnancy is going well and you can relax into it. Much love! ❤
Very happy your pregnancy is going well. I'm sure with the last experience it's quite nerve wracking. Marriage is not easy. It gets hard. Sometimes it gets boring. But it's living a life with someone. And that's actually pretty cool. I have thought about what if I lost my husband suddenly. It's my worst fear. Even when we get old I don't wanna lose him.
Thank you for sharing this. Today after 9 years I’m over being married. Angry; annoyed, bored and more angry. I also don’t know what I’d do without him. Thanks for normalizing this
Relationships are so hard and ever-changing, add little ones in the mix, and somedays its like "Do I even know this person anymore" my husband and I have been together for 20 years now, since I was 18 years old. We have a beautiful 2 and a half year old little girl, "Harper." Some advice I always try to go by: Keep the faith, keep the communication goin, Speak from the heart and not from an "angry tongue" and most of all be honest and open my friend! ❤❤
Happy belated birthday Julia! That chef idea is an excellent way to celebrate. I wish you a great year ahead filled with all kinds of fun & rewarding things imaginable.
girl i love you but i wish you would protect your wonderful baby girl from the internet. i am so torn about it, i want to support you as a creator, but as a survivor of CSA i am a huge advocate of always keeping kids away from the internet. there are too many horrible people out there.
You are so real and down to earth, it’s a breath of fresh air. Your gentle parenting and self awareness shines through every single moment you’re filming. The little kid years are so hard on relationships. I don’t have the answers, I’m on the journey too, but so far my reading recs are And Baby Makes Three (where they based the Bringing Baby Home course) by the Gottmans, How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, Mating In Captivity, and Fair Play. I’ve learned so much from all of them and it’s created strong talking points and goals during couples and individual therapy. Always cheering you on, I truly love your spirit. And I’ll echo what everyone else is saying- Honor’s speech is incredible and she’s getting so big! I want my ringtone to be her saying Julia, not my name but it’s just so dang cute 😂
my favorite natural toothpaste is Jason brand! I like the one with flouride, it's called Powersmile. They also have fluoride-free versions. I have super sensitive gums but I'm also allergic to the SLS in other toothpaste brands and I swear by Jason.
Thank you for sharing what has been on your heart Julia. My marriage didn’t survive past 2 years and a child as my ex suffered with covert narcissism and long term bouts of alcohol addiction issues. It was a brutal experience. We sought help everywhere, from traditional talk therapy, energy work, entity attachment ‘exorcisms’ for addiction to kinesiology and beyond. What we learnt together in the end was that love is actually simple, if we are grateful and mindful of each other’s needs. It is when we fall into our childhood triggers, insecurities, competitiveness, control and victimhood that shit turns sideways. It really takes radical self reflection and responsibility on how you each play out the game that changes the game. Going the holistic route and seeing an energy healer and a homeopath to release all my trauma, codependency issues and blockages really helped me. Sending love and good energy in these challenging times…
I want to chime in with others that my therapist told me that couples are at peak unhappiness when their child is around 18 mo. old. It helped to know we weren't alone in our struggles, and is making me see a light at the end of the tunnel.
All relationships take work and having kids is stressful - wonderful - but stressful. Good to refocus, communicate, and put the work in to keeping your relationship healthy. A big part of that is carving out solo time together. ❤
Thank you for your openness about the subjects that are kind of difficult to talk about, I know that a lot of people, including myself are grateful for that. You really make us feel identified and less alone, even though you are a private person (like me), you deliver the message without sharing too much or expose your private manners. I hope you and baby are doing well ❤
Although it is a heavy question. It's important to talk about it. I am happy your therapist asked you both that question because my brother tragically lost his fiance this past April, leaving him with 2 babies to raise by himself. Life gets in the way sometimes and you forget to spend time and connect with your loved ones. A relationship is a team effort!
Thank you for speaking about relationship struggles. It's difficult to find people sharing these things, and so often it does seem like everyone else's relationship is just wonderful without too major of issues. So it's refreshing to have such authenticity!
Thank you so much for your honesty and open mind. Ive been together with my other half for 21 years, and Im almost 34 years old. We started as a distance relationship couple, then we moved together when I was old enough. We love eachother so much, but the growing process is really really challenging. And it never stops. But thats part of the game, for everyone.
I, like everyone else, miss your ASMR videos, but there is something so awesome about the way you speak that makes me love your home life content just as much😊. On the topic of relationships: 34 years together, married 28 years. 2 kids made it so tough but i resorted to therapy, meds & prayer. We made it through & once the kids were older our intimacy got so much better ❤. Life throws you curveballs but you have to want to make it work. Respect, compassion & humor can really help to mend the relationship. Imho if there is no abuse of any kind going on, then it's worth fighting for your togetherness. ❤
I always appreciate your honesty. There is a huge misconception among society that relationships should be easy or always happy or whatnot. The relationship I was the most in love in was my hardest relationship, not because we didn't want to be together or because we weren't compatible. Being serious about another person and in deep partnership brings out a lot of unresolved personal issues each person has to be willing to address and work through in order for the bond to deepen and strengthen. Addressing faults and flaws within oneself can be too painful for a lot of people so they either subdue it or completely repress it but I deeply believe it comes out in other ways if you're not facing it head on. Being able to admit there are problems and then also having the confidence to work through them is admirable and mature.
I think every relationship, romantic or not, goes through ups and downs. I try to tackle things when I see them. I mean it took me four years into my relationship to work on my issues and addiction. You have to take things one thing at a time and tackle it head on. No avoiding it or coming back to it later. Unfortunately I learned the hard way these lessons. Thank God my partner is amazing...and wondeful.
This video resonates with me so much. We have two boys and it’s crazy to think that since we’ve had them, we can say these years have been both the best and the worst of times. Our relationship has really been tested. Lack of sleep, lack of personal time and lack of time together is difficult when you have kids. The hardest part for me is that outside of our kids, we haven’t made any new memories together. It’s a challenging time for sure.
I lost my mother in my 20s and so I do think about the death of my partner. And i just really, really don't want him to die!!!! Haha. Because i love him but also it would have so many implications for me and my child, mainly because we live in his country. Happy 20 weeks Julia, what an important milestone. ❤
Aha Sophomore Coffee! Coincidentally I started watching your UA-cam right before I took a job in Baltimore and hearing your stories, like about the block, were some of the first things I learned about the city 😂 but honestly it felt like a sign I was making the right decision to move. I remember you mentioned your favorite coffee shop but couldn't remembered the name. Finally here it is!! I think I'll give it a try tomorrow 😊
Thank you so much for being transparent about your relationships. I feel like a lot of people online keep things quiet (for privacy reasons of course) but also that can make people who are in long term relationships feel like everything should be “perfect” always. For example a lot people are so confused why my boyfriend (of 5 years) and i go to therapy together. Everyone always asks why we are if things aren’t “horrifically bad” i think there is no reason to wait till things become so bad (almost to the point of no return) for couples to go to therapy. It can save a lot of catastrophic consequences and outcomes from happening. Relationship therapy and transparency is so important because there is so much stigma about if relationships aren’t 100% perfect they should end. But that is not the case at all. Thank you so much for
Honor is so sweet and so smart. It’s been a treat watching her grow through your videos. I hope you find the energy for ASMR again one day. And as for your relationship with Nick, thanks for being real about your struggles. it’s very refreshing. I hope that you both find a way to get through the rough patch and can work it out. I’m sure that you will.
i'm almost completely certain i dont want kids... but that first clip of you and honor is just so damn adorable it kind of made me understand why people want them so much 😭
Thank you for being transparent I’ve watched your channel for years and it’s always enlightening and informative💕💕💕I hope peace and positive change continues to find you and Nick💕💕💕
Any tips on how you encouraged Honor to speak so good for her age?! My daughter is 2.5 and barely says words… she definitely communicates in her own way, mostly through actions, but we’re trying to get her to understand language more. I’m always curious about other parents techniques!
Thank you for keeping it real. Relationships aren’t all rainbows and happy. I’m madly in love with my husband but we still have issues. It’s just being human, living in this crazy world. As with all things in life, it can be adjusted and the path can be redirected if both parties want what is best. Sending positive thoughts that you are able to find this new path and this stressor comes off your plate. Much love!❤
Thank you for pointing this out Julia. It’s so hard to navigate any long term relationship. Currently going through my own struggles in my relationship and our child is 14. So I feel like things just change when you have kids. But of course more so when they are little. Hugs to you always! ❤️
It's not very complicated, everyone loves their kid more than their spouse/partner... every parent will agree with that. Relationships start to die over disagreements on what's best for the kids.
My sister is like 6 months pregnant and she’s hating our regular toothpaste because it makes her nauseous so she changed to sensitive toothpaste and she’s doing better with that.
Thanks for sharing. I do think it’s refreshing when people share these kinds of things online! It takes courage, because the second someone says anything slightly negative about their relationship or identified an issue, people jump to “you should break up” - which is extreme. Would definitely love to hear what you’re working out when it comes to yourself. Personally, I am working at self-soothing and not taking stress out on my partner. Sometimes after a long day, I find myself being irritable and it’s not fair to him.
Love to you and your growing family, so happy you got good news and some relief ❤ you and nick are certainly not alone, thank you for sharing openly. It can be very challenging to be with a partner that is in recovery. I think your commitment to each other and to love and growth will triumph over the inevitable character defects that come with the territory. I try my best to look at it as the blessing that it is, the connection that is possible with someone who is actively healing in recovery is so very deep and meaningful. When you’ve hit rock bottom and worked so hard to find the solution, one day at a time, it’s truly a life worth living. Blessings to you and Nick and the love you have for each other ❤❤❤
I really appreciated the conversation around long term relationships. Social media has put so much focus on the best moments, but growing with another person over time isn’t always social-media perfect. Thank you for sharing.
Honor is so big! Ahh! I can't. 🥹 Girl I thought you bit the bullet and got some help last year?! My goodness, taking care of your toddler WHILE pregnant 🙄you playing games out here. So glad to hear your mom is still in fighting shape too because your parents with one grandchild each to spoil? Grandparent goals.
I really love that you guys can recognize these issues. When I was 17, I got married and had a baby all in 1 year. By the time I was 27, I'd had 6 pregnancies. One was a miscarriage, and one was our oldest daughter who died at 1 year and 17 days from a reaction to medication. We've recently celebrated our 39th anniversary. We've gone thru some of the things that tear marriages and people into pieces, but we've managed to hold it together. It took a lot of work, a lot of commitment to each other, and the family we created, and it took a lot of deep love for each other. There are times when you just really don't want to talk to your partner and times when you may not even like them, and that's ok, I think it's very natural because we're all unique and individual and it can be hard sometimes to meld those differences. But it's part of the process, and as long as you're still in love and committed, you'll conquer all the tough stuff, and years later, when you're grandparents, you'll look back and think, yeah every bit of it was worth it. I can't think of much that is sadder than people who loved each other enough to build a life, but not be willing or able to fight for it. I love that you guys work for it! ❤
Thanks for being open and vulnerable regarding your relationship. We all have up and downs. Let’s normalize this. Maybe not in detail but to not romanticize it either by not telling that there are not so pleasant sides to a long term relationship as well.
I feel you so much! A child doesn't change the love between the parents but suddenly the love becomes kind of work... We are challenging the same problems since our daughter was born: eyes are on yourself or the baby but not the partner. And because of that it sometimes feels like loosing each other. So we made a vow: every night before I bring her to bed we quickly tell us our highlight/best moment of the day. And we try to thank each other for every little thing. And when we fight, we try to hug when we notice the other is getting louder. Thanks for sharing and being a realistic person ❤ you're so great 💖🌈
You sharing your thoughts on your relationship was really relieving and reassuring to me as someone who's in her first relationship and therefore learning how much effort it takes only now. It's easy to see other people in relationships and feel like they're happy and on the same page all the time, and consequently calling into question the quality and compatibility of your own relationship especially when what we see online and on social media are extravagant gestures and your own relationship is very subtle and domestic and ordinary - which aren't bad things, but again it's easy to doubt if you're doing this whole love thing right because your relationship doesn't look like other people's. It was comforting to hear you say that even couples who love each other a lot and have great compatibility genuinely go through really rough patches sometimes. Thank you for your videos and your honesty Julia
I really appreciate you being open about relationship. I was surprised how hard my relationship got after having a child. With 2 people being very exhausted, there is a lot that needs to be managed with a family. There is constant adjusting and it can be draining. I think compassion is very important, but there also needs to be responsibility for ones own emotions and behavior. I think that in trying times there comes out what's in there and sometimes it is unhealthy copingmechanisms, but it is really hard to work on yourself in times of survival and exhaustion. It just feels a lot of times so hard and lonely because it seems like everyone is thriving and you are struggling, even when both people are really trying the best they can.
Miss your ASMR so much
Same 😭
I second this motion with the hope she sees this and feeds us with some ASMR for crying out loud 😂 I don't care if she reads a phone book
Me tooo😢😢😢
I'm wondering if it's over for good. I know one baby makes it more difficult for the work tasks and having two DEFINITELY shifts things. Maybe her channel will be only lifestyle content from here on out. If that is the case, I'm glad she left us with a solid library to fall asleep to!
Girl, so do I.
I’ve been told by a therapist that, statistically, couples report their least satisfactory years are when they have toddlers. It helped me hang in there. Take care ❤
You are right Julia, marriage changes through the years, that’s natural, the key is communication and learning to change TOGETHER!
they aren't married (and that doesn't change a thing), but yes we get the idea
Ideally but in real life having kids destroys relationships. They were struggling just b4 she got pregnant and this may be the last nail in the coffin...2 kids so close together in time...that is hard as fuck.
It’s so important to normalize growing with your partner and moving through change together
“What’s mommy’s name”
“Julia”
“well Julia yes”
Lmaoo wasn’t expecting her to say the government
😂😂😂😂
That’s so smart she knows it though in case you ever get separated in public. ❤️
Always great to get your life updates, take care of yourself and your special family ❤
I've struggled in my relationship with the idea of having a child or not having a child and how both choices would affect us. We decided children aren't for us for a lot of good reasons. I feel like there is so much pressure put on parents now with the amount of time just focusing on kids. I applaud your awareness, and I wish you and Nick a lot of grace and love on your journey, figuring out being parents in a relationship.
Love this
I feel like Honor was just born, but here she is speaking! She is blessed with your lips!
From personal experiences and friends experiences, people with a history of addiction will struggle a lot with escapism and feeling overwhelmed when having new children. At least for a while. Its a completely new adjustment even for those that didnt struggle with that in the past. Its just a matter of taking it day by day, finding what brings you joy and communicate.
Becoming a parent, often ppl litterally find themselves mourning their life before children. Even though you love your children, the first few years is an adjustment. Eventually, you come to realize you are still you, but different and evolved.
Also when raising children, every phase and every stage is temporary, the good ones and the not so good ones 😆.
Nearly dying helped my relationship 🤣
After my partner and I had our twins, we struggled a lot. We even separated for about 2 months. We got back together but fell into a rut, we went like...6 years without any kind of intimacy, like no holding hands, certainly no romance. During this time, I started to get really sick and then I went into cardiac arrest. I almost died. I was on life support for two weeks, then spent another few weeks having to be in a facility getting IV antibiotics (54 days total). When I got out, he definitely appreciated me more and even our love life rekindled. I don't recommend trying to revitalize your relationship in this way. 😅
6 years with no intimacy?!
@@woodyx10 yaaaaaaas! Like maybe a hug before either of us left for work, kiss kinda on the cheek but near the mouth but not on the mouth. But not because I wanted other ppl, just not my partner, I didn't want to be intimate with anyone.
Honor has grown so much! She’s beautiful Julia ❤❤ And Happy Belated Birthday!
ETA: thank you for being open about your relationship with the ups and downs. It’s refreshing and I appreciate it your honesty. It’s like talking to an old friend with their perspective and helps us(or at least me) examine our own relationships. Thank you Julia ❤
Thank you for the kind words and thank you for being here!
i appreciate your honesty. relationships are hard work. social media rewards people for making theirs look perfect. we need to remember that we’re all just working through our own shit. thank you for the reminder
Julia,
I have been with my husband 35 years and there are still things we continually work on. Relationships constantly change and as we roll through phases in life it changes again. Our only child is a disabled adult. We are winding down into retirement and we have taken on my elderly disabled mother so things have changed once more . The evolution of one’s relationship is constant.
Really glad you’re sharing relationship struggles! This is supposed to be normal, and I’m glad you both are finding a way to understand and work through it. I’m a strong believer of perfect isn’t real when it comes to relationships because it’s two people with different upbringings and beliefs coming together and the overlap of beliefs is limited. I constantly battle the real versus the media and the struggles I know I face within my personal relationship (romantic and friendship). I hope the best for you and your family. Thank you for being real and raw. Always rooting for you!
Little kid time is really a test for a lot of relationships. So much changes so quickly. The child changes quickly, your roles in the household change, your priorities. I've been married almost 20 years, and we've definitely had ups and downs of all sorts, but the shift into parenthood was the most difficult on us. Honestly, we struggled the first few years with kids. Just look for the best in each other and don't let the struggles with each other overshadow the sweet and short season you're in with your babies. Best of luck to you guys!
My husband and I are retired, and we are spending so much wonderful time together. It's like falling in love all over again. We remember the difficult times. Just like you we talk about it and we encourage other couples to talk through it.
I think your bitterness, resentful attitude and constant consumption of scary political messaging probably doesnt help your situation at all. Gratitude is the foundation of my marriage.
I have been with my husband for 7 years and there is so much pressure to present a perfect front to people, but the reality is that magic is not what keeps people together for years and years. People who love each other so much can get shit on over and over again by circumstance and end up ripped apart and then people who aren't that right for each other might not face difficult trials and end up together a long time. There is a lot of work that goes into relationships and it can be so lonely to keep it all to yourself just to save face.
Watching your vlog while feeding my 2 month old and feeling this completely! Long term relationship, surprise pregnancy which was incredibly traumatic and baby was in Nicu for 3+ months (he’s actually 5 months, 2 months corrected).
Our communication is horrible, we fight constantly over such mundane stuff and I feel heart broken that one of the happiest times in our lives has been so tough. These huge life changes are so difficult to manage for even the strongest of couples.
Thank you for speaking about it. No judgment at all, just solidarity. ❤️
I appreciate you talking about your relationship. It’s real shit and I applaud you for that authenticity. We all innerstand it deeply. Especially longterm relationships. It’s a different kind of experience that not many people talking about or even get through these days.
I love that stage in toddlers where they're talking but also aren't talking somehow and yet you can understand what they're saying lol
It’s true - Moms know how to decode the secret language 😂
I'm so glad you uploaded today- earlier I commented on your last video that I hoped you were ok- and then hours later- this! 🙂 I appreciate your authenticity so much.. it's fresh air on YT- along with your intelligence. Thank you.
Thank you for being so genuine on social media in regard to your relationship. It’s really refreshing to see that. We are all human, and as such, most of us will experience a full range of emotions (the good and not-so-good) in our long-term relationships (including friendships and relationships with family members, not only romantic connections). As you said, kind and loving communication and working on ourselves when needed definitely helps to create more positive interactions.
Can I just tell u…I love Nick!! 👍😎
Julia….u guys have my heart!! 🙏
Acknowledging there is a problem is the first step to finding a solution ❤ Blessings to you!
Struggles are so normal in long term relationships/marriages. We all tend to fall into routines and sometimes those routines are easy but they're not healthy for our relationships. Once you get in that rut too, it can be really hard to get out of it. It can be really hard, but usually really worth it when you can come to a better place in your relationship.
Hi Sweet Julia, Im 18 years in to marriage and it ebbs and flows. I wish people would be more honest about relationships because they want to push the big romance on us all but the truth is that the most wonderful love anyone can hope for is a partner that stays in the good, the bad and all in between. You're doing an amazing job. Thanks for sharing with us and I'm always rooting for you❤❤ S.
I've been married 14 years, our hardest years were when our kids were under 5. We both needed to work on things, communication being the biggest one.
Happy belated bday! And so glad the anatomy scan went well.
You guys are gonna go far. You have built and are building such a loving, open, and communicative environment with your growing family. My husband and I have been together since we were 17 years old and we are 36 now. We have two kids, have been through pregnancy losses, sickness, financial struggles, deployments, moves, the works. We have had to break down walls and rebuild together so many times. Without that, you don't grow. You go through the changes and after you adapt you realize just how much stronger you've become. You are doing great. ❤
ahhh finally, Honor, my favorite youtuber!! 💘💘💘
love this, i’m 24 and learning so much from your videos Julia. have been watching your asmr and vlogs for a long time. struggling with relationships and what i want to do i life. Thanks to this kind of content, i know its just a part of life and to always be kind to myself.
Hey! If you don’t mind me asking, what sorts of struggles are you having with relationships? Wishing you the best 💗
Absolutely relationships go through ups and downs and so many changes. I wouldn’t make sense for things not to change after years. What makes the relationship special and worth it is the ability to always work through it and talk about it. I appreciate you shedding light on this topic because even though it’s so normal and even healthy many people tend to forget that.
Life is an adventure. It's like always being in a giant never ending amusement park. Sometimes we are in the spook house or the roller coaster or on the merry-go-round. Sometimes we are having a picnic by the lake. The adventure is sometimes painful or challenging or exciting or pleasant and so on. We must never take things so seriously that we fail to see the adventure. It all goes by so quickly and then we go home. I had a near death experience 30 years ago and had to make the choice to go back into my body. I'm so glad I did. This life is an amazing adventure. Always experience everything in that way. Much love and happiness to all. ❤❤❤
So good seeing you! I echo the “I miss your asmr” posts from others. It’s just good to see your face, see sweet Honor (she’s growing up!), and can’t wait to whiteness you becoming a wonderful mother of two. ❤❤
Your hair is so long!!!
Honor is such a pretty girl and getting big my goodness ! 🙊💕
Dear Julia. Your honesty and realness, I believe, are much appreciated by all of us. You are very relatable and that is what brings us back here and causes us to take an interest in your life and cheer you on. I know I am not alone in wishing you a wonderful rest of your pregnancy and for your beautiful, growing family - the most lovely future.❤
Just reading the comments is a testimony to hiw valuable it is to share our struggles. No one is alone, no one is perfect and we are continually growing and changing. That's why communication and quality time is so important. Honor will also benefit from that time. Thank you for being vulnerable with us. I'm so so happy that your pregnancy is going well and you can relax into it. Much love! ❤
Very happy your pregnancy is going well. I'm sure with the last experience it's quite nerve wracking. Marriage is not easy. It gets hard. Sometimes it gets boring. But it's living a life with someone. And that's actually pretty cool. I have thought about what if I lost my husband suddenly. It's my worst fear. Even when we get old I don't wanna lose him.
Thank you for sharing this. Today after 9 years I’m over being married. Angry; annoyed, bored and more angry. I also don’t know what I’d do without him. Thanks for normalizing this
I’m glad that you respect Nicks privacy like you do. So many women would just throw it all out there for the world to know! 🌸
Thank you for the candor experience. As someone thinking about family planning soon, I appreciate you sharing all of the ups and downs
I will always appreciate your raw honesty. You’re a rare one. Hope everything works out, truly. You deserve the best,
Communication is so key in a relationship ❤
If you haven’t already, try Marvis brand toothpaste! The ginger mint is 10/10
Relationships are so hard and ever-changing, add little ones in the mix, and somedays its like "Do I even know this person anymore" my husband and I have been together for 20 years now, since I was 18 years old. We have a beautiful 2 and a half year old little girl, "Harper." Some advice I always try to go by: Keep the faith, keep the communication goin, Speak from the heart and not from an "angry tongue" and most of all be honest and open my friend! ❤❤
your baby is so big now I swear she was just born yesterday 😭❤️
Happy belated birthday Julia! That chef idea is an excellent way to celebrate. I wish you a great year ahead filled with all kinds of fun & rewarding things imaginable.
Marriage through early parenthood is SO HARD. This too shall pass. You guys will find yourselves again as individuals and a couple soon 🫶🏻
girl i love you but i wish you would protect your wonderful baby girl from the internet. i am so torn about it, i want to support you as a creator, but as a survivor of CSA i am a huge advocate of always keeping kids away from the internet. there are too many horrible people out there.
Omg she’s talking so much! Adorable 🥰
You are so real and down to earth, it’s a breath of fresh air. Your gentle parenting and self awareness shines through every single moment you’re filming. The little kid years are so hard on relationships. I don’t have the answers, I’m on the journey too, but so far my reading recs are And Baby Makes Three (where they based the Bringing Baby Home course) by the Gottmans, How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, Mating In Captivity, and Fair Play. I’ve learned so much from all of them and it’s created strong talking points and goals during couples and individual therapy. Always cheering you on, I truly love your spirit. And I’ll echo what everyone else is saying- Honor’s speech is incredible and she’s getting so big! I want my ringtone to be her saying Julia, not my name but it’s just so dang cute 😂
my favorite natural toothpaste is Jason brand! I like the one with flouride, it's called Powersmile. They also have fluoride-free versions. I have super sensitive gums but I'm also allergic to the SLS in other toothpaste brands and I swear by Jason.
Thank you for sharing what has been on your heart Julia. My marriage didn’t survive past 2 years and a child as my ex suffered with covert narcissism and long term bouts of alcohol addiction issues. It was a brutal experience. We sought help everywhere, from traditional talk therapy, energy work, entity attachment ‘exorcisms’ for addiction to kinesiology and beyond. What we learnt together in the end was that love is actually simple, if we are grateful and mindful of each other’s needs. It is when we fall into our childhood triggers, insecurities, competitiveness, control and victimhood that shit turns sideways. It really takes radical self reflection and responsibility on how you each play out the game that changes the game. Going the holistic route and seeing an energy healer and a homeopath to release all my trauma, codependency issues and blockages really helped me. Sending love and good energy in these challenging times…
I want to chime in with others that my therapist told me that couples are at peak unhappiness when their child is around 18 mo. old. It helped to know we weren't alone in our struggles, and is making me see a light at the end of the tunnel.
All relationships take work and having kids is stressful - wonderful - but stressful. Good to refocus, communicate, and put the work in to keeping your relationship healthy. A big part of that is carving out solo time together. ❤
Thank you for your openness about the subjects that are kind of difficult to talk about, I know that a lot of people, including myself are grateful for that. You really make us feel identified and less alone, even though you are a private person (like me), you deliver the message without sharing too much or expose your private manners. I hope you and baby are doing well ❤
Although it is a heavy question. It's important to talk about it. I am happy your therapist asked you both that question because my brother tragically lost his fiance this past April, leaving him with 2 babies to raise by himself. Life gets in the way sometimes and you forget to spend time and connect with your loved ones. A relationship is a team effort!
Happy late bday Julia💕✨
Edited to add:
Thank you for sharing about your struggles. It’s not easy to do, so I appreciate the openness 💚
Thank you for speaking about relationship struggles. It's difficult to find people sharing these things, and so often it does seem like everyone else's relationship is just wonderful without too major of issues. So it's refreshing to have such authenticity!
I can't believe how big Honor has gotten 😊.
Thank you so much for your honesty and open mind.
Ive been together with my other half for 21 years, and Im almost 34 years old. We started as a distance relationship couple, then we moved together when I was old enough. We love eachother so much, but the growing process is really really challenging. And it never stops. But thats part of the game, for everyone.
david’s toothpaste!! so good and natural
The way she says Julia is so cute I melted
Adopted two 2yo last year
In a way, I can empathize
I, like everyone else, miss your ASMR videos, but there is something so awesome about the way you speak that makes me love your home life content just as much😊. On the topic of relationships: 34 years together, married 28 years. 2 kids made it so tough but i resorted to therapy, meds & prayer. We made it through & once the kids were older our intimacy got so much better ❤. Life throws you curveballs but you have to want to make it work. Respect, compassion & humor can really help to mend the relationship. Imho if there is no abuse of any kind going on, then it's worth fighting for your togetherness. ❤
I always appreciate your honesty. There is a huge misconception among society that relationships should be easy or always happy or whatnot. The relationship I was the most in love in was my hardest relationship, not because we didn't want to be together or because we weren't compatible. Being serious about another person and in deep partnership brings out a lot of unresolved personal issues each person has to be willing to address and work through in order for the bond to deepen and strengthen. Addressing faults and flaws within oneself can be too painful for a lot of people so they either subdue it or completely repress it but I deeply believe it comes out in other ways if you're not facing it head on. Being able to admit there are problems and then also having the confidence to work through them is admirable and mature.
I think every relationship, romantic or not, goes through ups and downs. I try to tackle things when I see them. I mean it took me four years into my relationship to work on my issues and addiction. You have to take things one thing at a time and tackle it head on. No avoiding it or coming back to it later. Unfortunately I learned the hard way these lessons. Thank God my partner is amazing...and wondeful.
This video resonates with me so much. We have two boys and it’s crazy to think that since we’ve had them, we can say these years have been both the best and the worst of times. Our relationship has really been tested. Lack of sleep, lack of personal time and lack of time together is difficult when you have kids. The hardest part for me is that outside of our kids, we haven’t made any new memories together. It’s a challenging time for sure.
Boka toothpaste is great!
I lost my mother in my 20s and so I do think about the death of my partner. And i just really, really don't want him to die!!!! Haha. Because i love him but also it would have so many implications for me and my child, mainly because we live in his country.
Happy 20 weeks Julia, what an important milestone. ❤
Aha Sophomore Coffee! Coincidentally I started watching your UA-cam right before I took a job in Baltimore and hearing your stories, like about the block, were some of the first things I learned about the city 😂 but honestly it felt like a sign I was making the right decision to move. I remember you mentioned your favorite coffee shop but couldn't remembered the name. Finally here it is!! I think I'll give it a try tomorrow 😊
Definitely go!!! Tell Kris I said hello 😀❤️
Thank you so much for being transparent about your relationships. I feel like a lot of people online keep things quiet (for privacy reasons of course) but also that can make people who are in long term relationships feel like everything should be “perfect” always. For example a lot people are so confused why my boyfriend (of 5 years) and i go to therapy together. Everyone always asks why we are if things aren’t “horrifically bad” i think there is no reason to wait till things become so bad (almost to the point of no return) for couples to go to therapy. It can save a lot of catastrophic consequences and outcomes from happening.
Relationship therapy and transparency is so important because there is so much stigma about if relationships aren’t 100% perfect they should end. But that is not the case at all. Thank you so much for
It is very hard to record and edit and be a SAHM. Agreed! Thank you... it honestly made me feel better because I've been slacking on YT majorly. 😅
You always bring something unique to the table, can't get enough!
🫶🏻❤️🫶🏻
Honor is so sweet and so smart. It’s been a treat watching her grow through your videos. I hope you find the energy for ASMR again one day. And as for your relationship with Nick, thanks for being real about your struggles. it’s very refreshing. I hope that you both find a way to get through the rough patch and can work it out. I’m sure that you will.
Julia try sensodyne toothpaste if you haven’t! My dentist recommended it because I’ve had severe gum recession. It’s great
i'm almost completely certain i dont want kids... but that first clip of you and honor is just so damn adorable it kind of made me understand why people want them so much 😭
I know everyone is asking for ASMR... but I find these videos just as satisfying haha.
Thank you for being transparent I’ve watched your channel for years and it’s always enlightening and informative💕💕💕I hope peace and positive change continues to find you and Nick💕💕💕
Wow ur so sweet gentle and clear as a mom I love it !
Hi beautiful 🌹. I wanted to say have a good weekend and happy 4th of July. To your family
Thank you! You too!!
Any tips on how you encouraged Honor to speak so good for her age?! My daughter is 2.5 and barely says words… she definitely communicates in her own way, mostly through actions, but we’re trying to get her to understand language more. I’m always curious about other parents techniques!
Thank you for keeping it real. Relationships aren’t all rainbows and happy. I’m madly in love with my husband but we still have issues. It’s just being human, living in this crazy world. As with all things in life, it can be adjusted and the path can be redirected if both parties want what is best. Sending positive thoughts that you are able to find this new path and this stressor comes off your plate. Much love!❤
Honor is so cute!
Thank you for pointing this out Julia. It’s so hard to navigate any long term relationship. Currently going through my own struggles in my relationship and our child is 14. So I feel like things just change when you have kids. But of course more so when they are little. Hugs to you always! ❤️
It's not very complicated, everyone loves their kid more than their spouse/partner... every parent will agree with that. Relationships start to die over disagreements on what's best for the kids.
Honour is SO intelligent! how gorgeous ❤
I would literally love to nanny her she is the cutest thing ever
My sister is like 6 months pregnant and she’s hating our regular toothpaste because it makes her nauseous so she changed to sensitive toothpaste and she’s doing better with that.
Thanks for sharing. I do think it’s refreshing when people share these kinds of things online! It takes courage, because the second someone says anything slightly negative about their relationship or identified an issue, people jump to “you should break up” - which is extreme.
Would definitely love to hear what you’re working out when it comes to yourself. Personally, I am working at self-soothing and not taking stress out on my partner. Sometimes after a long day, I find myself being irritable and it’s not fair to him.
You’re such a delight to watch❤️❤️
honor gets cuter and cuter every day omg
Love to you and your growing family, so happy you got good news and some relief ❤ you and nick are certainly not alone, thank you for sharing openly. It can be very challenging to be with a partner that is in recovery. I think your commitment to each other and to love and growth will triumph over the inevitable character defects that come with the territory. I try my best to look at it as the blessing that it is, the connection that is possible with someone who is actively healing in recovery is so very deep and meaningful. When you’ve hit rock bottom and worked so hard to find the solution, one day at a time, it’s truly a life worth living. Blessings to you and Nick and the love you have for each other ❤❤❤
I really appreciated the conversation around long term relationships. Social media has put so much focus on the best moments, but growing with another person over time isn’t always social-media perfect. Thank you for sharing.
Honor is so big! Ahh! I can't. 🥹 Girl I thought you bit the bullet and got some help last year?! My goodness, taking care of your toddler WHILE pregnant 🙄you playing games out here. So glad to hear your mom is still in fighting shape too because your parents with one grandchild each to spoil? Grandparent goals.
Honor is so big now! What the heck! She talks so much too, Wow!
Julia, do you still wear turtlenecks in the Summer?
I really love that you guys can recognize these issues. When I was 17, I got married and had a baby all in 1 year. By the time I was 27, I'd had 6 pregnancies. One was a miscarriage, and one was our oldest daughter who died at 1 year and 17 days from a reaction to medication. We've recently celebrated our 39th anniversary. We've gone thru some of the things that tear marriages and people into pieces, but we've managed to hold it together. It took a lot of work, a lot of commitment to each other, and the family we created, and it took a lot of deep love for each other. There are times when you just really don't want to talk to your partner and times when you may not even like them, and that's ok, I think it's very natural because we're all unique and individual and it can be hard sometimes to meld those differences. But it's part of the process, and as long as you're still in love and committed, you'll conquer all the tough stuff, and years later, when you're grandparents, you'll look back and think, yeah every bit of it was worth it. I can't think of much that is sadder than people who loved each other enough to build a life, but not be willing or able to fight for it. I love that you guys work for it! ❤
Thanks for being open and vulnerable regarding your relationship. We all have up and downs. Let’s normalize this. Maybe not in detail but to not romanticize it either by not telling that there are not so pleasant sides to a long term relationship as well.
I feel you so much! A child doesn't change the love between the parents but suddenly the love becomes kind of work... We are challenging the same problems since our daughter was born: eyes are on yourself or the baby but not the partner. And because of that it sometimes feels like loosing each other.
So we made a vow: every night before I bring her to bed we quickly tell us our highlight/best moment of the day. And we try to thank each other for every little thing. And when we fight, we try to hug when we notice the other is getting louder.
Thanks for sharing and being a realistic person ❤ you're so great 💖🌈
You sharing your thoughts on your relationship was really relieving and reassuring to me as someone who's in her first relationship and therefore learning how much effort it takes only now. It's easy to see other people in relationships and feel like they're happy and on the same page all the time, and consequently calling into question the quality and compatibility of your own relationship especially when what we see online and on social media are extravagant gestures and your own relationship is very subtle and domestic and ordinary - which aren't bad things, but again it's easy to doubt if you're doing this whole love thing right because your relationship doesn't look like other people's. It was comforting to hear you say that even couples who love each other a lot and have great compatibility genuinely go through really rough patches sometimes. Thank you for your videos and your honesty Julia
I really appreciate you being open about relationship. I was surprised how hard my relationship got after having a child. With 2 people being very exhausted, there is a lot that needs to be managed with a family. There is constant adjusting and it can be draining. I think compassion is very important, but there also needs to be responsibility for ones own emotions and behavior. I think that in trying times there comes out what's in there and sometimes it is unhealthy copingmechanisms, but it is really hard to work on yourself in times of survival and exhaustion. It just feels a lot of times so hard and lonely because it seems like everyone is thriving and you are struggling, even when both people are really trying the best they can.
Stay healthy pleaseee