💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here: amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/
I will. Its hard to have committed suicide in an institution by hanging myself with a bedsheet I turned it into a tiable rope knot on one end to grasp my bathroom door and the slack around my neck. By them doing early rounds they got me while I was still alive. Took me along time to get out after that. I'm not glorifying it nor do I want to. My wife had died from breast cancer a few years before. I found someone great we really connected. I have seizures and she knew that then one day she must have just had it because I got a text message telling me that she deserved better than to worry about me. I didn't reply or know what to do so the violent irrational behavior starts to come out of me towards myself.
@@mattmiars3181 That was a very inconsiderate move on that woman's behalf to be so cold and distant. I'm glad they found you and I hope you're finding ways to share your wife's love with the world.
@@MentalAmanda I certainly never saw it coming. She was dealing with her own trauma and pain as well. She is an English major and went on a missions trip to teach English in Nicaragua. She was beaten ,raped one night and got pregnant. She gave birth 17 months before meeting me. We were both very open and honest with each other of our lives dreams and nightmares. When this cat came out of the bag no I wasn't happy. The only thing I really voiced and wanted her to know. Was that her thoughts and emotions are valid. Not only am I listening but that I hear her as well The marriage I was in wasn't perfect. I didn't expect the wedding and honeymoon to last forever. Im doing the best I can to be a better person than I was the day before. I want more good memories but right now all I'm getting is hell on earth. Thank you so much for the time that you take to do what you do. Ashley is my past fiancés name we dug around on UA-cam alot she loved to sing and laugh . She found the song Seven Spanish Angels with Ray Charles and Willie Nelson doing a duling piano I can barely listen to it now Check it out it you ever desire or have the time. I hope that you are well today ❤💗
I was suicidal as a kid Anamanda I'm sorry 4 everything. Kid Rock got me through everything, he helped more then I can say. Maybe it's because I'm a guy. Start with Bawitaba. I did😁. Still listening to this day
Another one of my favorites... the drum set at the end was their old drummers set who died in the making of this album from a mixture of his heart medicine and alcohol. They kept his vocals as a tribute and dedicated "So Far Away" and "Fiction" (two other songs on the album) to him. He's the drummer I looked up to when I played. Love your reactions. I'd recommend reacting to "So Far Away" by them. RIP Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan
Not sure if it's been said or not, but the Music Video is an homage to Jacob's Ladder, which was one of The Rev's favourite movies, and alot of what is going on in the video itself is an homage to the band's history too. The drum kit is not only The Rev's, but it's the one he used while touring the City of Evil album. Zacky dancing with the skeleton is an homage to the "Afterlife" video where he dances with his wife. The spiders are an homage to The Rev and the "Afterlife" video as he suffered from Arachnophobia but actually allowed a spider to crawl on his face for the video. The weird bug-eye effect is an homage to the "Bat Country" video and the Priest is from the "Seize the Day" video - the music video is one big love letter from the band to The Rev and everything they did together, along with the "So Far Away" video. That's why Mike Portnoy doesn't appear in the video, he felt as the guy taking over from The Rev that it wasn't right for him to be in the video. As for the lyrics, I think it's written in a way to condemn those people who say shit like "you should have known better" etc. you know? At least that's how i've always perceived it to be.
So Far Away is a kind of follow up to this. It's about loss and facing it from the perspective of someone that was left behind. Recently found your content and am deeply loving it. Your passion for the subject is clear as day and powerful as it can be
I would really love to see you react to Save Me by Avenged Sevenfold, its basically their final farewell to their late drummer and childhood friend The Rev, while other songs from this album is about him, that song is directed TO him. Its a bit of a downer (i'd actually say its pretty much their 5 stages of grief in the form of a song, but thats just my interpretation) but also very cathartic and insightful. Not to mention musically its just perfect 😁
The spiders and the guitarist dancing with a Skeleton was done as nod to a video they had made previously - “Afterlife” if you want to know. IMO you should review “Skin” by Sixx A.M.
I'm gonna recommend one of my favorites from each of their albums (albums being on the left side): Waking The Fallen - Chapter Four (which is about Kane and Abel) City of Evil - Trashed and Scattered (the song has a good message if you pay attention to the lyrics) Avenged Sevenfold (white album) - Brompton Cocktail (the lyrics of this song are actually written about Jimmy and how he was going to cut his life short, and how he was feeling due to his cardiomegaly/enlarged heart, however he actually wrote and recorded this song just over a year before he actually passed so no one read into the lyrics before this actually happened) Hail to The King - Heretic The Stage - Roman Sky Diamonds in The Rough - Set Me Free Black Reign - Not Ready To Die (from Call of Duty zombies' "call of the dead") Their new album is almost done but make sure you stay away from "A Little Piece of Heaven" until you know more about the band and "I won't see you tonight part 1" due to the nature of the song. Had to edit this because I completely forgot about the Hail to The King album for a sec lol (Just for the memes they made a song called Exist which is 15 and a half minutes long but it's a godsend, probably one of the best metal songs made to this day so you should check it out)
Hey Amanda, I am one of those suicide survivors too. I went on to work in a psychiatric hospital, after being put on holds for bizarre behavior because I was hallucinating so bad. After I came around and seeing who I was around and where I was at, I had the same feeling about "am I this bad? Do I deserve this?", Yes I did. Meth being called the devil's drug, the imagery goes along with this. As to being strapped down, I was medicinally strapped down, the B52. When I worked in the hospital, we only held down people who were refusing to orally take sedation, it was tough. But happy to say that we don't strap anyone down unless it's an extreme situation where we are in danger or other patients are in danger or they tear up the isolation room and find a way to hurt themselves. It hard to watch but being on the receiving end of it, I needed it to stop the self harm I was inflicting on myself. I have no songs to suggest, but thank you sharing your personal experiences, being a peer specialist and supporting people in recovery, I do it too. #recoverystrong
I am SO happy I never fell down the meth hole to have experience with that! I do not react well to meds and would go insane upon waking up from sedation, so I would absolutely refuse. I understand why it's sometimes necessary, but it is SO awful! Thank you for sharing your story 💗
Thank you for being so honest and open ❤️ I hope that you continue to progress down your path and continue to find peace in your life. I’ve made a lot of progress myself, and am in such a good place now compared to 3-4 years ago... I hope that anyone else going through a low point in their life finds the strength to get through it and crawl back out of that hole. I love you all ❤️
While you've obviously, and admittedly have been through real trauma, and, can be visually seen reliving those traumas through triggers in this video in particular, any many others, you continue to do these videos. Creating awareness for all, while enduring, the past. It seems therapeutic for you, what you do here. Great messages, and positive attitude. Thanks. This video earned you another sub. 👏🏻
nice to see an honest person for once especially on social media . which I hardly get on but I have seen your videos and I have a lot in common with you 1000 thanks you gave me a reason ?
This band kicks ass. They have some great stuff and they’re one of my favs. I’d check out: Some I’d check out if you haven’t already are: - So Far Away - M.I.A. - Heretic - Gunslinger - A Little Piece of Heaven (Music video) - Brompton Cocktail - Planets/Acid Rain (back to back tracks) - Natural Born Killer - Coming Home - Carry On (Music video) (You can just listen to these in your free time but I’d love to see videos on them.) Also that nurse you talked to sounds like a bitch. You deserve better. Pretty much anyone does
Crossroads, dancing dead, demons, and lost are like my top 4 from them (5 is brompton cocktail) The ending solo of lost imo is the best solo ever written
Cut the cord and Monsters by Shinedown I really think you would like and it's very relatable for a little bit more uplifting about it love to see your reaction to it
You mentioning how you sort of isolate vocals, guitar etc... I think you NEED to react to So Far Away by them. It's about their drummer who past away. But it really feels like Syn(the lead guitarist) is making his guitar cry. It just wails and sobs, just as if he were able to really translate is own feelings through his guitar playing. I think it's sort of rare that a guitar player can be THAT spot on with that. I love that song for this reason, even though it's actually kind of heart breaking. And ever so relatable because we all have someone we would give anything to see one more time
Have you heard of a band called Citizen Soldier? The lead singer, Jake, once tried to kill himself. While Jake was in the hospital recovering from the suicide attempt, he wrote his first song on a napkin. Most of their songs relate to mental health issues. They decided to name the band Citizen Solider because they feel that every person who suffers from mental illness is fighting a war inside their head and another day they survive that war is another victory - basically, we are all soldiers fighting an internal war with ourselves. Their song Always December talks about Major Depression and what it's like to live with it - I won't lie I cried like a baby when I heard it because I've never heard a song speak about depression so accurately. Their most popular song though is probably Would Anyone Care. I can honestly say Would Anyone Care has saved lives. I know because it saved mine in many ways. Whenever I feel like I can't take living for another day, I'll listen to Citizen Soldier (particularly Would Anyone Care) and it helps me remember that I'm not alone. If you ever get the chance, I'd encourage you to please give them a listen.
you should listen to Aurora "through the eyes of a child" live at Nidarosdomen or "run away" or "it happened quietly" matter of fact I think you will really love all of Aurora's songs
Hi Amanda my name is allen and Im huge fan of yours i suffer from depression too but watching you helps me get through the toughs times so i wanna say Thank you for helping me.
you are exactly correct. the mind will bully you. for me, i refuse to let it bring me down that far. i wont say that i have a addiction problem. while i do drink alcohol and smoke pot. i dont let it control me most of the time. i refuse death and thoughts of suicide. not gunna say that i dont need help. but i try not to let it control me.
That was cute! The my shadow comment and subsequent drum roll. 🤘🔥 I caught that in case no one mentions it cause it was very quick. Beautiful little joke. Recently found your channel and have been binge watching. Much love to you and yours from me in Phoenix Arizona
I LOVE THIS SONG!!The first time I heard this song i was like "Nope,uh uh.Turn this off".But the longer i heard this song,the less i was scared of it.And the more i liked it.I was listening to this song sence i was like 5 or 6 years old.
Another song from my "depression playlist". Thankfully I've never been strapped to a bed. I've been rushed to mental hospitals on multiple occasions though, and put to sleep to calm me. And I've spent a few days in a padded room. Right now I'm in a state of....oblivion, kinda. Days passing by, each one looking the same as the previous ones. With a memory non existent. Making everything flow into a darkness where I can't remember what I did last week. Waking up in the morning and everything feels like a memory of yesterday. This makes it very hard to find a reason to go on. But, social media and UA-cam reactors at least give me some connection to the world. Some straws to hold on to.
I'd freak out if I was put to sleep. I don't react to meds well. I was in the state for a long time. I made a pact that I would do one new thing every day for a month. Whether it was a new food, a new going, driving to a new area of town, literally ANYTHING at all. It breaks that monotony a little.
When I was a kid and played the original Zelda on NES, I remember getting to the third screen or so and throwing the controller at my mom to kill the tektites (aka jumping friggin spiders.) I eventually got over it. But imagine my horror of getting to Gohma in Ocarina of Time. Or doing the Skulltulla quests. BLECH.
@@MentalAmanda In the Buffy The Vampire Slayer Xbox game there's a level with giant spiders and we're talking as big as the one's in Harry Potter. The only way to beat the level is to kill them and with my luck they'll kill me. 😱
The A7X-song Fiction saved my life. I got it in my head right before I tried to ... well.... Anyway, I couldn't do it with that song stuck in my head. That song was a farewell to the other members in the band.. R.I.P Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan.
Well we all hav dark places in our memories and it's ok to visit there sometimes instead of ignoring, because they existed. And the best thing is that now you are on another level with a lot more experience. Take care of breathing and exercise well.
You should react to their song "fiction" but brace yourself, it was the last song the rev wrote before he died and its so eerie, the original name of the song was "death" but they renamed it fiction to honor the rev "fiction" was one of his nicknames
I love A7X they're my favourite band by far! A more positive but still emotional song by them that you might like is Crimson Day, which M Shadows (the lead singer) wrote after the birth of his son. Severely underrated song. Btw the spider on the drumset I think was a reference to the song "Afterlife", the music video of which saw The Rev letting a spider crawl across his face.
Growing up I had a fear about going into an asylum like you kinda described with being alone and no one listening. Even had sleepawaken nightmares from it idk how to explain but yeah.
@@MentalAmanda I had nightmare of it from just wishing to speaking my mind and tell someone how I feel that's why I haven't talked to therapists since I was around 18, I am 30 now
I think on a daily basis, that i am in the Truman Show as well. i keep seeing things that shouldnt be in the world i live in. people call it hallucinations or the fact that i would be drunk, but here i am using all these "things" to cope with what ive been seeing and feeing and what "normal" people tell me i am, (stupid, wrong, lying and the worst of it, called insane) i know what i see. i do see however substance abuse isnt what i want to do, i see my dad in rehab and everyday im 10 seconds closer to going in as well. its been a 15 year process but i will be going into rehab come December, hopefully. you stay strong ok?
I've watched a lot of reactions to this great song, but I think yours is my favorite. Thanks for showing vulnerability and sticking with the video despite the triggering images. Maybe the lyrics video would have been easier, but then you wouldn't get to see the guys rocking out. Anyway, great reaction! Take care.
Hey Amanda I would recommend from Avenged Sevenfold Victim, Save Me, Fiction and so far away from this album. Especially with your personal history of Mental Health issues and suicide. The former drummer The Rev passed away from overdose. Still unsure about whether suicide or accident (he had an enlarged heart)
It was my first song to hear from this band in 2012 (i was 14 back then) honestly haha, really resembles my depression w/ s thought but the song helps me comfort myself to survive. Yet i still had depression cause im in toxic life until right now but this band helps me through a lot for real, even though im not from us haha Thank you so much for the review, it was so funny that i kinda had same reaction when the song came at first to me 👍
All the people you see some are band members and others are set actors so the guy on the stretcher is M. Shadows, the guy with red hair and in a straight jacket was Zacky Vengeance, the guy banging his head on the glass was Synyster Gates, and the one crawling is Johnny Christ
"We might realize that it isn't the best choice, that it is harmful, but in that moment, we don't see a better choice because we're in so much pain so we will do anything in the world to stop it." Damn, so true. So deep. I got hit a bit by this recently. Went to get help, they took me very seriously. Got referred to my GP, and a new to me doctor ( but he was fantastic, he cared, he really spend time trying to help me ). In the end I was referred to a mental health clinic, and here comes the kicker: they told me to come back when I got sober ( from alcohol ). They will not see me, even though my GP and the mental health emergency center I went to both agreed that for me alcohol was/is my escape/self treatment not the cause of my problems. What the h*** can I do? I don't have the energy to fight the system. It is just so destructive.
The spider that is seen thru that video is the Spider owned by Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan it was there drummer who passed away of a overdose that why at the end the drums are lit up like there is a angel sitting in the seat
You should react to Sacrifice, by Aurelio Voltaire. It’s probably one of the best anti-suicide songs out there, and it is a true story from Voltaire’s childhood. The first time I heard it I almost cried.
Also the wrote this song and so far away for the old drumner who died from heroin. Such a horrible drug. Ive lost friends and family to it and i wish ppl really knew how awful it really is.
We always think we know the price, and are willing to pay it to get to the other side. But the other side isn't quite where we wanted to be. So the price keeps going up, and the other side keeps moving. And people outside keep trying to tell you where it is, but they don't know either. Hell of a circle. You seem to have found a trail of bread crumbs that is getting you where you can be on solid ground. Keep on it.
you should react to Asylum by The Black Dahlia Murder. They are a death metal band and the music may not be your type but I think you will really feel the lyrics.
Amanda, you should react to Ghost by Badflower. It written to bring awareness to suicide and it is raw and unapologetic but gets the point across. Josh Katz said the following about the single 'Ghost': "I was depressed and thinking about self-harm. So I just wrote it. I played out the whole scenario and put it into a song because that's what writers do, I suppose. I didn't even know if it was gonna go on the album. I was sorta hesitant to even show it to the rest of my band, But everyone heard it and loved it". Excellent song.
I want to start off by saying that I love! to rock out to this song…but I’m only 13 mins into your ~30 minute reaction to this song, and my level of understanding for Your situation that you described, as well as your other words, resonated so much, it just about broke me down…. The wisdom behind someone who’s experienced Hurt, so much, someone who’s been stretched so emotionally thin, like yourself…to hear your words, they spoke too such a level of understanding to another, someone who hasn’t walked the same path as yourself, but someone who’s experienced more than a lifetime’s worth of hurt… It felt good to hear your words….I’ve been subscribed to your channel for a while, but haven’t gotten updates…I look forward to hearing more of what you have to say…🙏🫶🧡
This video is months old with over 200 comments so I'm sure some of what I wanna say has been said already, BUT I hope you don't mind! And I hope you also don't mind how long this is! The biggest thing I was thinking during this was "Oof, this was NOT a good choice... the song isn't related to the channel *and* the video is triggering her..." but in the end I'm glad you seem to have enjoyed the music on its own! Everyone always says art is about interpretation so it's also great that you did get your own meaning out of it. This band for the last several albums loves to tell stories and they don't always have some meaning, but it's perfectly valid to get your own meaning out of it. Just have to know that sometimes a song about planets colliding is just about planets colliding! Oh, and, if you haven't watched it already... stay off the music video for Afterlife. The song's full version is better anyway! On the subject of The Rev, well I was going to go into a bit of details about his death and how lots of people believe it was suicide but I don't know if you wanna read about that sad kind of thing or if people already said it a hundred times, so instead I'll end this overly long comment on two positive notes! First, after half the songs on this album were dedicated to him or mentioned him in some sad way, the next album has a beautiful bonus song in cheerful remembrance of him called St. James (Jimmy being his real name) and it's helped me cheer up many times in my life. And second - I don't have any kind of major depression or anything like that (but I certainly have Asperger's, shown by the fact I just rewrote parts of this comment like six times) so I can't really fully "appreciate" your channel I guess? But I love what you're doing and your community and even though I don't relate to these subjects they are extremely important ones to me. Avenged and Linkin Park have been my top two for basically my whole music-listening life, and they've both lost important members who were in dark places (even if The Rev passed before I knew who he was), along with several of my friends not always being completely mentally stable - and as a Christian I also just value human life in general a LOT. So I've never *truly* dealt with loss or suicide personally and pray that I never will, but I still care a ton about these things. Thank you for all you do and I hope great Ups come to you in the future! (I watched your Jumprope reaction before this.) Okay NOW the comment is finally done.
real emergency to deal with? im very sorry you had to get that slap in the face. ty for giving me a name of the darkness - shadow..... and you are right that the jackets, the cuffs, etc are nothing more than to keep you physically confined and from hurting yourself or others at that moment. having been "there" it's almost as if it you werent here anymore is a better option. They say God doesnt give you more than you can handle but sometimes it feels like he took a lunch break or something. i hope that everybody can have the best day they can no matter how crappy it's going your worth more than someone finding you after your gone. please keep putting more videos up your helping people more than you know
You describe the visitation so attriculate. Thank you for what you do. Im a very open honest person I've cut back because of some of the situations it's put me in. I want to speed up my DNR paperwork. My power of attorney has done me the best he can he's known me all my life . My big brother in a months time t clinically dead 3 times. They work me over and bring me back. When he gets there the tube has to go. My ribs are broken from the cpr. I feel this song. Thank you for what you do
@@MentalAmanda I just don't want to keep getting worked over to be kept alive. I'm an organ donor . I have a solid belief system that I still find piece in. There's so much to to our galaxy , our existence and I feel wounded. Im in alot of pain. The doctors and nurses can see that im trying to get help from them for it. I'm speaking to deaf ears and kicking a dead horse. I love my family and my friends I don't ever even like using them word hate. To just find up to an onslaught of information that I had died and I was resuscitated when I'm very about not wanting that. On black and blue is all I can do. I go Thursday to see if my ribs aren't broken. I feel like I went rounds with a heavyweight boxer I couldn't see that was just dropping body blows. I do like your material, your well excellent questions are good. I hope you are doing well today
Btw Amanda, the lovely pictures on your wall, the "passages" they remind me of the works of Rob Gonsalves ( I might be way of base, please laugh at my lack knowledge) , could you share a bit about them?
One is mine and one is my ex's. I still keep them there because they remind me that we all see things differently and we all struggle differently even thought we might be looking at or experiencing the "same" thing.
I'm an Avenged Sevenfold fan and enjoy a lot of their songs this song also hits me hard and brings up.some painful memories so watching and listening to your reaction although I haven't been sectioned has we call it here in UK but I had to have my mum sectioned one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life I don't think she ever really recovered from being in hospital Myself also I've been battling depression for over 30 years due to a condition which causes my muscles to go into sudden painful spasms everyday I'm in constant pain and can't function properly I've been to dark places that no one should experience and I've been told plenty of times I should just get over it because they can't see they don't believe it I lost my marriage because she said I wasn't man enough to deal with the condition and many friends walked away from me because they didn't want to see me like I am but the one line from my own father was the worst of anything other and still stays with me even today he said " I should just kill myself because no one loves you and nobody will miss you anyway so just do it and let us get on with our lives we'd all be better off with you gone" I've never really wrapped my head round what he said made me wander is that what everyone else thinks as well and I did honestly consider ending my life and still do at times the number of occasions I've hoped I wouldn't wake up in the morning when going to sleep I couldn't even put a figure on because there have been so many times I've spoken to doctor's and tried to explain what I'm feeling but they don't listen and put it down to my condition I take roughly 30 painkillers and other medication that they prescribed on a daily basis but I still have the pain and feel the same way I guess they don't understand what my life is like and how hard i find it cope with at times so I can understand and relate to some of comments you made in the video and I hope you get to that better place and get the support you need unfortunately we live in a society that shuns mental health issues and see the subject has taboo because to many people are quick to judge with insensitive comments and a lack of willingness to understand that we didn't ask to be this way it's the life we've been dealt and where just trying to get through it the best we can # Be Kind ❤️ # Peace To All ❤️
I am so sorry that you did not receive the love and support that you deserved from your father and "friends." The world isn't better off without you. That was his own pain speaking. You are loved and you are here with us now. Never alone.
Awesome !! I think a react of "The Unforgiven" from Metallica would be great. The song has very deep lyrics, about forgiveness, regret and how people fail to find out who they could be, and stop being who they are because they are always pleasing anothers and leaving themselves. In studio version you can feel all the hate and melancholy of this song, San Diego 1992 was also an insane performance.
I’m supposed to be on mental health medication but I quit taking them over a year ago because they made me feel like killing somebody or myself. I’m struggling day to day but I feel better than I did while on the meds.
React to "I won't see you tonight part 1" by Avenged. It's a song about their old guitarist who committed suicide. They have been through a lot as a band.
Also can you listen to a song called "Hide and Seek".Its a good song.It starts of like weird,then gets crazy,then it gets totally creapy.I really like creapy songs for some weird reason.
First time I heard this song was in 2011. Just getting over divorce. Still had contact with my ex but every time she came to "talk" I would put up this song. She quickly understood the message
If you don't fight your inner demons head on, it could bring you down when you aren't mentally prepared for it at all and that is tough. I've tried medication that gave me more suicide thoughts, I have talked to psychological doctors that weren't able to help me at all. I have deeper understanding about myself than anyone else and I know what works for me. I am also aware of the fact that my soul and brain is very limited on this planet on a spiritual level. But I have conquered much darkness myself.
@@MentalAmanda thank you so much she was all i had and now its just me and our dog and i miss her every day haven't been sleeping good or eating great cant stop thinking about her and keep wondering if there was something i could have done
@@robtobery9562 You're going through a very normal grief process. When I lost my mom, my world stopped spinning. Try getting a journal and just writing down every single memory you can think of with her. That helped me a little. Just know that you're going to cry and scream and feel like you're going crazy, but it's all very normal. Just seeing your messages about her, I am confident in saying that she knew you loved her.
@@MentalAmanda hey i posted a video on my channel called i miss my wife i would really like it if you could check it out and maybe tell me what you think
I have a friend that attempted suicide. I didnt chastise him, not immediately anyway. He said something that has stuck with me..."Imagine feeling like the biggest failure, and then even failing to die properly". It took a few beers, and a LOT of camping trips, but he's doin great now in literally every aspect of his life. I dont recommend un-aliving yourself, but in very select circumstances, I can understand it such as my uncle with stage 4 cancer from agent orange and PTSD from watching his best friend die in his arms. He was on his way out anyways and just didn't want to stick around for the worst parts of the cancer journey, so I dont bear him any ill will in his decision. Most other things in life can be worked through however, even if you just grab a stranger you'll never see again and buy them a cup of coffee for listening to you...an old AA tactic. I hope everyone can recognize their own signs of desperation, and even though a phone weighs a thousand pounds when you most need it, find the strength to pick it up and use it.
A7F did a great job in this song of depicting what Hell is actually like according to traditional Theological studies. Hell is where you keep dying over and over again for all eternity ... like a nightmare that never ends. It is a place we do not want to be, not now, not ever. I believe that God is trying to bring us all away from there ... to eternal joy in Heaven where there is no death or pain. The lyrics in the song can be compared to the Devil and his demons tormenting us and trying to steal our soul through despair, depression, evil thoughts, and especially lies. The Devil is known as the "Father of All Lies." Notice the laughing and the words that are used in the song lyrics: "such an easy soul to steal" and "you belong here ... in this nightmare" and "God ain't on your side" ... They are things that a demon would say. There is a "price of evil," that is death, but Our Lord truly loves us all and has conquered death on the Cross so that we may have life. We do not always know that we are doing something evil until after the damage is done and we start spiralling out of control. Thankfully we are always loved (and forgiven) by God and he will send angels to help us, to save us. These angels come in many forms ... through various people, places, or things ... Through something we may experience with our 5 senses ... And yes, even through a song we hear just at the right time. 🙂
If u want a A7X songs so far away and dear god be good for channel but this images are from Jacob ladder it’s nothing to do with there state of mind it was jimmy the rev there drummer and friends favourite movie it was a tribute to him
I am a 17 years old guy that is suicidal for almost 10 years now, since last summer I work hard on myself, I went through 5 suicide attempt since that summer, I lost everything at that time, my group of best friend, I could get them arrested for what they said, my parents a part of the problem too, I don't have anyone real to talk too, in a few month I learn so much about depression and it's easy for me to see red flags in people, so it's really hard to find some people that are a minimum real, I am still going through depression, I work on an other major part of myself and I am mentally insane bc I want it done and I am only focus on that, I need someome to talk to because Idk when will be my last day, I could decide tomorrow to commite suicide
You can message me anytime. You aren't alone. There is a whole community of people here who have struggled, many who are still struggling. I've lost everything, been betrayed and abandoned and dealt with more crappy fake people than I care to remember. Not everyone is like that!
the more I hear about the way mental health professionals fuck up and traumatize the people in their care the more horrified and angry I get they may have good intentions, but those don't mean shit when all they do is make things *worse* for the people they are meant to *help* while refusing to just *listen* when these people tell them that what they are doing isn't helping. they think they know better and it's honestly such a paternalistic and downright dehumanizing way to view one's patients. the road to hell is paved with good intentions indeed.
Aye sister girl, as an Aussie Aboriginal, spiders aren't that bad. I mean. You can talk to them and they usually listen. There's no need to be afraid of our 8 legged friends. Cautious, of cause, afraid, nah. They're more scared of you. Treat them with respect and they'd look after you. I had a group of Hunstsman spiders as protection in my car. Generally harmless but they will fight if need be. Great lads/shiellas. The Redbacks were bit of an issue but I gave them a chance to leave before I had to clean them out. Most did. I may have messed with nature doing that but I don't like ending lives, even bugs
I did make friends with a little gold fella out by my garden area. I realized I was missing him when I didn't spot him. His name is Monsieur Araignee (Mr. Spider in french).
Hello, did you recover ok from that video? Pretty confronting wasn't it. Your reaction to the spider kind of reminded me of my storm astraphobia. I had a couple of loud rumbles wake me up at half past 4 in the morning, (not my idea of an alarm clock 😬) and then got up running into the living room with hands over my ears, humming any song I can think of straining to block it out. Gladly it disappeared quick, I keep getting that chest tightness and am breathing hard when storms come. I cringed at some of the things we saw on that also but would have been a little different for you, because you see it on full size green, I'm just seeing it in the top right hand corner.
Yes, I did, thank you! Invest in a good noise cancelling headset! My friend has a son terrified of storms and if one comes, he will put that on with his favorite artist until it's over.
Hey Amanda, I saw your video for Metallica's "One" for the first time today and I really like your view point and discussions on mental health. When I was watching it, I was thinking you need an uplifting metal song, so I'm going to suggest Corpus Christi, "Prodigal," I think you'll really like it. And if you want a very sad song that deals with mental health/addiction to react to, look up Benjamin Tod, "Using Again," but be prepared for how sad it is. Both songs hit me very personally. Anyway, be well
Here's a band called Suicide Silence with Tatiana Shmaylyuk from Jinjer, singing a cover of Alice in Chains' "Man in the Box". No spiders. ua-cam.com/video/esbQBnvsF0M/v-deo.html You should check out the band Jinjer. Their song "Teacher, Teacher" is something you would like.
This song is less about mental illness and more about a man who committed a life of evil and is now banished to hell, only to find out that hell is just reliving your worst nightmares and biggest fears over and over again. "You should have known the price of evil. And it hurts to know that you belong here"
When you are on rock bottom mentally, all you can do is search for at least one way of getting back to the top. If you don't do that, things could be much worse. If you don't shine light against your demons so they get destroyed you can easily loose against them.
11:45 I see myself a bit in what you said. Die by own hand and such. Sigh 😔 was a fear of mine at 17-19 cause I somehow set my death date at 20 or something
I hate majority of spiders as well. Though strangely I like jumping spiders.. >< saw avenged sevenfold perform this song live in 2010. Was like 50+ feet away from the stage but still felt the heat from every blast of pyro.
I know I'm a year late but this song was originally written from the vantage point of someone who died; during God's judgement was given access to his full memories and consequences of his actions; was sent to Hell; and knew they deserved it. It didn't take God's judgement to convince them of their fate because the complete access to their life's full spiritual memory left them riddled with such shame and regret they didn't even try to appeal their fate. They knew they'd earned it. That's the ultimate nightmare. That's the most terrifying possibility imaginable- knowing you truly did do all of the terrible things that merit such a punishment and nothing can ever be done to erase it. The video is a different story entirely. The video made losing the Rev the obvious focal point but the music itself was actually written to tell a different story. All of the music on the Nightmare album was already completed and recorded, and was in the process of being mixed when The Rev died. As a result, the Nightmare music video (and subsequent world tour) made The Rev's death the primary focus, but the lyrics were actually written and performed with a different storytelling objective initially.
amanda can i just say i know i said in your livestream that i lost my mom when i was young, but i actually was an outpatient in a mental hospital by the time i was 18 , now at the time i actually had no idea why i was there either , i was never actually told, my ex and i had just broken up due to reasons , but i had such uncontrollable anger issues as a kid and it wasnt until literally years later after my first suicide attempt that i decided to get my self some therapy(counselling) and it was within those first few sessions that i learnt why i went to the hospital, and she put two and two together for me, hearing your story although different to mine also casts some shadows of familiarity and i can totally relate,
@@MentalAmanda struggling not gunna lie honestly some things i can look back on and think that was then ive learnt from it and moved on, however some things now healing feels like impossible
@@scott49140 Some things are much bigger and much more challenging! For me, I break those things down. For example, I'm struggling with grief surrounding my miscarriage. Obviously, that's not going to just go away or be easy to overcome. So I create healing rituals or exposure therapy challenges to help myself heal on a more reasonable timeline.
@@MentalAmanda everything Is dark right now has been for most of my life , no one cares why should they , if life is trying to tell me something then fine I'm listening I finally get the hint, I'm.done trying to lie to myself or telling myself the same thing I'm told whenever I try to reach out, I'm not angry jus hurting I can't see a light I just want to talk to someone who has been there and actually understands music is the only other thing that does
@@scott49140 Anger is always a response to hurt of some kind. It's okay. It's just finding ways to channel it. I have been there, spent over two decades in rock bottom depression. Message me anytime.
I think the song is more about people whove found themselves permanently institutionalized due to choices they made that were probably counter to every teaching they had be it in school, by parents/grandparents, or society in general. I dont believe it was written to convey a suicidal tone or a psychological disorder such as schizophrenia, rather the plight that some have put themselves in.
You need to listen to so far away by avenged sevenfold this song was written for the rev (there first drummer) who committed suicide and then read the lyrics to fiction this song is basically the rev's suicide note
💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖
And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here:
amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/
Entity's I believe do feed on our energies, seen a shadow being at a low point in life. 🧟
I will. Its hard to have committed suicide in an institution by hanging myself with a bedsheet I turned it into a tiable rope knot on one end to grasp my bathroom door and the slack around my neck. By them doing early rounds they got me while I was still alive. Took me along time to get out after that. I'm not glorifying it nor do I want to. My wife had died from breast cancer a few years before. I found someone great we really connected. I have seizures and she knew that then one day she must have just had it because I got a text message telling me that she deserved better than to worry about me. I didn't reply or know what to do so the violent irrational behavior starts to come out of me towards myself.
@@mattmiars3181 That was a very inconsiderate move on that woman's behalf to be so cold and distant. I'm glad they found you and I hope you're finding ways to share your wife's love with the world.
@@MentalAmanda I certainly never saw it coming. She was dealing with her own trauma and pain as well. She is an English major and went on a missions trip to teach English in Nicaragua. She was beaten ,raped one night and got pregnant. She gave birth 17 months before meeting me. We were both very open and honest with each other of our lives dreams and nightmares. When this cat came out of the bag no I wasn't happy. The only thing I really voiced and wanted her to know. Was that her thoughts and emotions are valid. Not only am I listening but that I hear her as well
The marriage I was in wasn't perfect. I didn't expect the wedding and honeymoon to last forever. Im doing the best I can to be a better person than I was the day before. I want more good memories but right now all I'm getting is hell on earth. Thank you so much for the time that you take to do what you do. Ashley is my past fiancés name we dug around on UA-cam alot she loved to sing and laugh . She found the song Seven Spanish Angels with Ray Charles and Willie Nelson doing a duling piano I can barely listen to it now
Check it out it you ever desire or have the time. I hope that you are well today ❤💗
I was suicidal as a kid Anamanda I'm sorry 4 everything. Kid Rock got me through everything, he helped more then I can say. Maybe it's because I'm a guy. Start with Bawitaba. I did😁. Still listening to this day
you need more avenged sevenfold, they came with rock, metal, soft, sad, romantic, experimental and weird ones... enjoy to dig them out....
If you get frequent panic attacks, I would recommend doing lyric videos for A7X if you're not feeling up to it
Another one of my favorites... the drum set at the end was their old drummers set who died in the making of this album from a mixture of his heart medicine and alcohol. They kept his vocals as a tribute and dedicated "So Far Away" and "Fiction" (two other songs on the album) to him. He's the drummer I looked up to when I played. Love your reactions. I'd recommend reacting to "So Far Away" by them. RIP Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan
Fiction was written by Jimmy. Alot of people think it was his suicide note.
Yes please do “So Far Away” if you have not already… SO GOOD
Got that right
Not sure if it's been said or not, but the Music Video is an homage to Jacob's Ladder, which was one of The Rev's favourite movies, and alot of what is going on in the video itself is an homage to the band's history too. The drum kit is not only The Rev's, but it's the one he used while touring the City of Evil album. Zacky dancing with the skeleton is an homage to the "Afterlife" video where he dances with his wife. The spiders are an homage to The Rev and the "Afterlife" video as he suffered from Arachnophobia but actually allowed a spider to crawl on his face for the video. The weird bug-eye effect is an homage to the "Bat Country" video and the Priest is from the "Seize the Day" video - the music video is one big love letter from the band to The Rev and everything they did together, along with the "So Far Away" video. That's why Mike Portnoy doesn't appear in the video, he felt as the guy taking over from The Rev that it wasn't right for him to be in the video.
As for the lyrics, I think it's written in a way to condemn those people who say shit like "you should have known better" etc. you know? At least that's how i've always perceived it to be.
So Far Away is a kind of follow up to this. It's about loss and facing it from the perspective of someone that was left behind.
Recently found your content and am deeply loving it. Your passion for the subject is clear as day and powerful as it can be
I would really love to see you react to Save Me by Avenged Sevenfold, its basically their final farewell to their late drummer and childhood friend The Rev, while other songs from this album is about him, that song is directed TO him. Its a bit of a downer (i'd actually say its pretty much their 5 stages of grief in the form of a song, but thats just my interpretation) but also very cathartic and insightful. Not to mention musically its just perfect 😁
Best Avenged Sevenfold song, period.
The spiders and the guitarist dancing with a Skeleton was done as nod to a video they had made previously - “Afterlife” if you want to know.
IMO you should review “Skin” by Sixx A.M.
Also, spiders and busted drums was a nod to the Rev who they had just lost....
I'm gonna recommend one of my favorites from each of their albums (albums being on the left side):
Waking The Fallen - Chapter Four (which is about Kane and Abel)
City of Evil - Trashed and Scattered (the song has a good message if you pay attention to the lyrics)
Avenged Sevenfold (white album) - Brompton Cocktail (the lyrics of this song are actually written about Jimmy and how he was going to cut his life short, and how he was feeling due to his cardiomegaly/enlarged heart, however he actually wrote and recorded this song just over a year before he actually passed so no one read into the lyrics before this actually happened)
Hail to The King - Heretic
The Stage - Roman Sky
Diamonds in The Rough - Set Me Free
Black Reign - Not Ready To Die (from Call of Duty zombies' "call of the dead")
Their new album is almost done but make sure you stay away from "A Little Piece of Heaven" until you know more about the band and "I won't see you tonight part 1" due to the nature of the song. Had to edit this because I completely forgot about the Hail to The King album for a sec lol (Just for the memes they made a song called Exist which is 15 and a half minutes long but it's a godsend, probably one of the best metal songs made to this day so you should check it out)
Nice to see love for Heretic! It's one of my favorite A7X songs.
Hey Amanda, I am one of those suicide survivors too. I went on to work in a psychiatric hospital, after being put on holds for bizarre behavior because I was hallucinating so bad. After I came around and seeing who I was around and where I was at, I had the same feeling about "am I this bad? Do I deserve this?", Yes I did. Meth being called the devil's drug, the imagery goes along with this. As to being strapped down, I was medicinally strapped down, the B52. When I worked in the hospital, we only held down people who were refusing to orally take sedation, it was tough. But happy to say that we don't strap anyone down unless it's an extreme situation where we are in danger or other patients are in danger or they tear up the isolation room and find a way to hurt themselves. It hard to watch but being on the receiving end of it, I needed it to stop the self harm I was inflicting on myself. I have no songs to suggest, but thank you sharing your personal experiences, being a peer specialist and supporting people in recovery, I do it too. #recoverystrong
I am SO happy I never fell down the meth hole to have experience with that! I do not react well to meds and would go insane upon waking up from sedation, so I would absolutely refuse. I understand why it's sometimes necessary, but it is SO awful! Thank you for sharing your story 💗
The empty drum kit with the light behind it gets me every time. R.I.P. Rev.............
Thank you for being so honest and open ❤️ I hope that you continue to progress down your path and continue to find peace in your life. I’ve made a lot of progress myself, and am in such a good place now compared to 3-4 years ago... I hope that anyone else going through a low point in their life finds the strength to get through it and crawl back out of that hole. I love you all ❤️
We love you too!
While you've obviously, and admittedly have been through real trauma, and, can be visually seen reliving those traumas through triggers in this video in particular, any many others, you continue to do these videos. Creating awareness for all, while enduring, the past. It seems therapeutic for you, what you do here. Great messages, and positive attitude. Thanks. This video earned you another sub. 👏🏻
nice to see an honest person for once especially on social media . which I hardly get on but I have seen your videos and I have a lot in common with you 1000 thanks you gave me a reason ?
This band kicks ass. They have some great stuff and they’re one of my favs.
I’d check out:
Some I’d check out if you haven’t already are:
- So Far Away
- M.I.A.
- Heretic
- Gunslinger
- A Little Piece of Heaven (Music video)
- Brompton Cocktail
- Planets/Acid Rain (back to back tracks)
- Natural Born Killer
- Coming Home
- Carry On (Music video)
(You can just listen to these in your free time but I’d love to see videos on them.)
Also that nurse you talked to sounds like a bitch. You deserve better. Pretty much anyone does
Crossroads, dancing dead, demons, and lost are like my top 4 from them (5 is brompton cocktail)
The ending solo of lost imo is the best solo ever written
Cut the cord and Monsters by Shinedown I really think you would like and it's very relatable for a little bit more uplifting about it love to see your reaction to it
You mentioning how you sort of isolate vocals, guitar etc... I think you NEED to react to So Far Away by them.
It's about their drummer who past away. But it really feels like Syn(the lead guitarist) is making his guitar cry. It just wails and sobs, just as if he were able to really translate is own feelings through his guitar playing.
I think it's sort of rare that a guitar player can be THAT spot on with that. I love that song for this reason, even though it's actually kind of heart breaking. And ever so relatable because we all have someone we would give anything to see one more time
"your worst nightmare comes to life"
TARANTULAS 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Have you heard of a band called Citizen Soldier? The lead singer, Jake, once tried to kill himself. While Jake was in the hospital recovering from the suicide attempt, he wrote his first song on a napkin. Most of their songs relate to mental health issues. They decided to name the band Citizen Solider because they feel that every person who suffers from mental illness is fighting a war inside their head and another day they survive that war is another victory - basically, we are all soldiers fighting an internal war with ourselves. Their song Always December talks about Major Depression and what it's like to live with it - I won't lie I cried like a baby when I heard it because I've never heard a song speak about depression so accurately. Their most popular song though is probably Would Anyone Care. I can honestly say Would Anyone Care has saved lives. I know because it saved mine in many ways. Whenever I feel like I can't take living for another day, I'll listen to Citizen Soldier (particularly Would Anyone Care) and it helps me remember that I'm not alone. If you ever get the chance, I'd encourage you to please give them a listen.
My utmost respect for getting through what was obviously a difficult video to react to!
you should listen to Aurora "through the eyes of a child" live at Nidarosdomen or "run away" or "it happened quietly" matter of fact I think you will really love all of Aurora's songs
Love the tribute to Rev at the end.
Also the drumset at the end of the music video was their dead best friend and drummer the REVs drumset their nightmare was him being gone
Hi Amanda my name is allen and Im huge fan of yours i suffer from depression too but watching you helps me get through the toughs times so i wanna say Thank you for helping me.
I'm humbled! There is another side to it, but we are here for you no matter where you are!
@@MentalAmanda thank you Amanda were all here for you too
Stay strong we love you
Ironically, I don't have nightmares of any magnitude, no,.. My nightmare starts when I wake up,. Yeah I don't have nightmares. I have daymares
Been there for sure!
you are exactly correct. the mind will bully you. for me, i refuse to let it bring me down that far. i wont say that i have a addiction problem. while i do drink alcohol and smoke pot. i dont let it control me most of the time. i refuse death and thoughts of suicide. not gunna say that i dont need help. but i try not to let it control me.
Theres a reason for the spider its not just a random choice, in the music video for afterlife, the rev had a spider crawling on his face
Thanks for that nightmare fuel!
That was cute! The my shadow comment and subsequent drum roll. 🤘🔥 I caught that in case no one mentions it cause it was very quick. Beautiful little joke. Recently found your channel and have been binge watching. Much love to you and yours from me in Phoenix Arizona
We are practically neighbors!
I LOVE THIS SONG!!The first time I heard this song i was like "Nope,uh uh.Turn this off".But the longer i heard this song,the less i was scared of it.And the more i liked it.I was listening to this song sence i was like 5 or 6 years old.
This album helped me get through three deaths in one year. Their music has helped me through more than any other band.
avenged sevenfold - a little piece of heaven
Another song from my "depression playlist". Thankfully I've never been strapped to a bed. I've been rushed to mental hospitals on multiple occasions though, and put to sleep to calm me. And I've spent a few days in a padded room.
Right now I'm in a state of....oblivion, kinda. Days passing by, each one looking the same as the previous ones. With a memory non existent. Making everything flow into a darkness where I can't remember what I did last week. Waking up in the morning and everything feels like a memory of yesterday. This makes it very hard to find a reason to go on. But, social media and UA-cam reactors at least give me some connection to the world. Some straws to hold on to.
I'd freak out if I was put to sleep. I don't react to meds well.
I was in the state for a long time. I made a pact that I would do one new thing every day for a month. Whether it was a new food, a new going, driving to a new area of town, literally ANYTHING at all. It breaks that monotony a little.
@@MentalAmanda Thank you 🙏 ❤️
All my respect and love. Hoping you find Serenity.....also a badass song from Godsmack.
I have a huge fear of spiders too! I can't play certain video games if there's spiders. 😨
When I was a kid and played the original Zelda on NES, I remember getting to the third screen or so and throwing the controller at my mom to kill the tektites (aka jumping friggin spiders.) I eventually got over it. But imagine my horror of getting to Gohma in Ocarina of Time. Or doing the Skulltulla quests. BLECH.
@@MentalAmanda In the Buffy The Vampire Slayer Xbox game there's a level with giant spiders and we're talking as big as the one's in Harry Potter. The only way to beat the level is to kill them and with my luck they'll kill me. 😱
@@slayergirl6983 That's a no from me
@@MentalAmanda me too lol.
Five Finger Deathpunch ~ “Wrong Side of Heaven”
The A7X-song Fiction saved my life. I got it in my head right before I tried to ... well.... Anyway, I couldn't do it with that song stuck in my head. That song was a farewell to the other members in the band.. R.I.P Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan.
Well we all hav dark places in our memories and it's ok to visit there sometimes instead of ignoring, because they existed. And the best thing is that now you are on another level with a lot more experience. Take care of breathing and exercise well.
You should react to their song "fiction" but brace yourself, it was the last song the rev wrote before he died and its so eerie, the original name of the song was "death" but they renamed it fiction to honor the rev "fiction" was one of his nicknames
I love A7X they're my favourite band by far! A more positive but still emotional song by them that you might like is Crimson Day, which M Shadows (the lead singer) wrote after the birth of his son. Severely underrated song.
Btw the spider on the drumset I think was a reference to the song "Afterlife", the music video of which saw The Rev letting a spider crawl across his face.
Growing up I had a fear about going into an asylum like you kinda described with being alone and no one listening. Even had sleepawaken nightmares from it idk how to explain but yeah.
The thought of nobody listening was always what scared me too!
@@MentalAmanda I had nightmare of it from just wishing to speaking my mind and tell someone how I feel that's why I haven't talked to therapists since I was around 18, I am 30 now
I think on a daily basis, that i am in the Truman Show as well. i keep seeing things that shouldnt be in the world i live in. people call it hallucinations or the fact that i would be drunk, but here i am using all these "things" to cope with what ive been seeing and feeing and what "normal" people tell me i am, (stupid, wrong, lying and the worst of it, called insane) i know what i see. i do see however substance abuse isnt what i want to do, i see my dad in rehab and everyday im 10 seconds closer to going in as well. its been a 15 year process but i will be going into rehab come December, hopefully. you stay strong ok?
I've watched a lot of reactions to this great song, but I think yours is my favorite. Thanks for showing vulnerability and sticking with the video despite the triggering images. Maybe the lyrics video would have been easier, but then you wouldn't get to see the guys rocking out. Anyway, great reaction! Take care.
Hey Amanda I would recommend from Avenged Sevenfold Victim, Save Me, Fiction and so far away from this album. Especially with your personal history of Mental Health issues and suicide. The former drummer The Rev passed away from overdose. Still unsure about whether suicide or accident (he had an enlarged heart)
Fear. Imagining the legs of a spider crawling. Your symbol example about what spiders mean. Makes sense
It was my first song to hear from this band in 2012 (i was 14 back then) honestly haha, really resembles my depression w/ s thought but the song helps me comfort myself to survive. Yet i still had depression cause im in toxic life until right now but this band helps me through a lot for real, even though im not from us haha
Thank you so much for the review, it was so funny that i kinda had same reaction when the song came at first to me 👍
All the people you see some are band members and others are set actors so the guy on the stretcher is M. Shadows, the guy with red hair and in a straight jacket was Zacky Vengeance, the guy banging his head on the glass was Synyster Gates, and the one crawling is Johnny Christ
"We might realize that it isn't the best choice, that it is harmful, but in that moment, we don't see a better choice because we're in so much pain so we will do anything in the world to stop it." Damn, so true. So deep.
I got hit a bit by this recently. Went to get help, they took me very seriously. Got referred to my GP, and a new to me doctor ( but he was fantastic, he cared, he really spend time trying to help me ). In the end I was referred to a mental health clinic, and here comes the kicker: they told me to come back when I got sober ( from alcohol ). They will not see me, even though my GP and the mental health emergency center I went to both agreed that for me alcohol was/is my escape/self treatment not the cause of my problems.
What the h*** can I do? I don't have the energy to fight the system. It is just so destructive.
There are online counseling options like Better Help that you can utilize while pursuing sobriety. You can also message me. Screw the system!
The spider that is seen thru that video is the Spider owned by Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan it was there drummer who passed away of a overdose that why at the end the drums are lit up like there is a angel sitting in the seat
You should check out their song "So Far Away". There's no bad imagery, and it's a really great song.
Thank you for making this video
You should react to Sacrifice, by Aurelio Voltaire. It’s probably one of the best anti-suicide songs out there, and it is a true story from Voltaire’s childhood. The first time I heard it I almost cried.
Also the wrote this song and so far away for the old drumner who died from heroin. Such a horrible drug. Ive lost friends and family to it and i wish ppl really knew how awful it really is.
He didnt die from Haroin he took his heart medicine mixed with alchohol jn his own brampton Coctail and killed himself
@@Blandwhistle8 thank you for letting me know, Clearing that up.
We always think we know the price, and are willing to pay it to get to the other side.
But the other side isn't quite where we wanted to be.
So the price keeps going up, and the other side keeps moving.
And people outside keep trying to tell you where it is, but they don't know either.
Hell of a circle.
You seem to have found a trail of bread crumbs that is getting you where you can be on solid ground.
Keep on it.
you should react to Asylum by The Black Dahlia Murder. They are a death metal band and the music may not be your type but I think you will really feel the lyrics.
When I think about full body restraints like that, the only thing I can think of is my nose itching... it's terrifying.
Just subscribed on your channel, love the content and mental health.
A great song to have a listen to is Whole by Flaw is a song about the singers adopted mom taking her life and the effect it has had on him.
Amanda, you should react to Ghost by Badflower. It written to bring awareness to suicide and it is raw and unapologetic but gets the point across. Josh Katz said the following about the single 'Ghost': "I was depressed and thinking about self-harm. So I just wrote it. I played out the whole scenario and put it into a song because that's what writers do, I suppose. I didn't even know if it was gonna go on the album. I was sorta hesitant to even show it to the rest of my band, But everyone heard it and loved it". Excellent song.
I want to start off by saying that I love! to rock out to this song…but I’m only 13 mins into your ~30 minute reaction to this song, and my level of understanding for Your situation that you described, as well as your other words, resonated so much, it just about broke me down….
The wisdom behind someone who’s experienced Hurt, so much, someone who’s been stretched so emotionally thin, like yourself…to hear your words, they spoke too such a level of understanding to another, someone who hasn’t walked the same path as yourself, but someone who’s experienced more than a lifetime’s worth of hurt…
It felt good to hear your words….I’ve been subscribed to your channel for a while, but haven’t gotten updates…I look forward to hearing more of what you have to say…🙏🫶🧡
may i request, Hold On To Memories by Distrubed. every time i listen to that song, I always shed a couple of tears.
And "Another Reason to Fight." Both live versions.
This video is months old with over 200 comments so I'm sure some of what I wanna say has been said already, BUT I hope you don't mind! And I hope you also don't mind how long this is!
The biggest thing I was thinking during this was "Oof, this was NOT a good choice... the song isn't related to the channel *and* the video is triggering her..." but in the end I'm glad you seem to have enjoyed the music on its own! Everyone always says art is about interpretation so it's also great that you did get your own meaning out of it. This band for the last several albums loves to tell stories and they don't always have some meaning, but it's perfectly valid to get your own meaning out of it. Just have to know that sometimes a song about planets colliding is just about planets colliding! Oh, and, if you haven't watched it already... stay off the music video for Afterlife. The song's full version is better anyway!
On the subject of The Rev, well I was going to go into a bit of details about his death and how lots of people believe it was suicide but I don't know if you wanna read about that sad kind of thing or if people already said it a hundred times, so instead I'll end this overly long comment on two positive notes! First, after half the songs on this album were dedicated to him or mentioned him in some sad way, the next album has a beautiful bonus song in cheerful remembrance of him called St. James (Jimmy being his real name) and it's helped me cheer up many times in my life.
And second - I don't have any kind of major depression or anything like that (but I certainly have Asperger's, shown by the fact I just rewrote parts of this comment like six times) so I can't really fully "appreciate" your channel I guess? But I love what you're doing and your community and even though I don't relate to these subjects they are extremely important ones to me. Avenged and Linkin Park have been my top two for basically my whole music-listening life, and they've both lost important members who were in dark places (even if The Rev passed before I knew who he was), along with several of my friends not always being completely mentally stable - and as a Christian I also just value human life in general a LOT. So I've never *truly* dealt with loss or suicide personally and pray that I never will, but I still care a ton about these things. Thank you for all you do and I hope great Ups come to you in the future! (I watched your Jumprope reaction before this.) Okay NOW the comment is finally done.
real emergency to deal with? im very sorry you had to get that slap in the face. ty for giving me a name of the darkness - shadow..... and you are right that the jackets, the cuffs, etc are nothing more than to keep you physically confined and from hurting yourself or others at that moment. having been "there" it's almost as if it you werent here anymore is a better option. They say God doesnt give you more than you can handle but sometimes it feels like he took a lunch break or something. i hope that everybody can have the best day they can no matter how crappy it's going your worth more than someone finding you after your gone. please keep putting more videos up your helping people more than you know
1000 to 12000 subs in 4 months ! Congrats Amanda , there are thousands willing to hear you
I am SO over the moon!
You describe the visitation so attriculate. Thank you for what you do. Im a very open honest person I've cut back because of some of the situations it's put me in. I want to speed up my DNR paperwork. My power of attorney has done me the best he can he's known me all my life . My big brother in a months time t clinically dead 3 times. They work me over and bring me back. When he gets there the tube has to go. My ribs are broken from the cpr. I feel this song. Thank you for what you do
I'm confused why you're trying to speed up your DNR paperwork. I hope you're okay! Here if you need to talk!
@@MentalAmanda I just don't want to keep getting worked over to be kept alive. I'm an organ donor . I have a solid belief system that I still find piece in. There's so much to to our galaxy , our existence and I feel wounded. Im in alot of pain. The doctors and nurses can see that im trying to get help from them for it. I'm speaking to deaf ears and kicking a dead horse. I love my family and my friends I don't ever even like using them word hate. To just find up to an onslaught of information that I had died and I was resuscitated when I'm very about not wanting that. On black and blue is all I can do. I go Thursday to see if my ribs aren't broken. I feel like I went rounds with a heavyweight boxer I couldn't see that was just dropping body blows.
I do like your material, your well excellent questions are good. I hope you are doing well today
Btw Amanda, the lovely pictures on your wall, the "passages" they remind me of the works of Rob Gonsalves ( I might be way of base, please laugh at my lack knowledge) , could you share a bit about them?
One is mine and one is my ex's. I still keep them there because they remind me that we all see things differently and we all struggle differently even thought we might be looking at or experiencing the "same" thing.
I'm an Avenged Sevenfold fan and enjoy a lot of their songs this song also hits me hard and brings up.some painful memories so watching and listening to your reaction although I haven't been sectioned has we call it here in UK but I had to have my mum sectioned one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life I don't think she ever really recovered from being in hospital
Myself also I've been battling depression for over 30 years due to a condition which causes my muscles to go into sudden painful spasms everyday I'm in constant pain and can't function properly I've been to dark places that no one should experience and I've been told plenty of times I should just get over it because they can't see they don't believe it
I lost my marriage because she said I wasn't man enough to deal with the condition and many friends walked away from me because they didn't want to see me like I am but the one line from my own father was the worst of anything other and still stays with me even today he said " I should just kill myself because no one loves you and nobody will miss you anyway so just do it and let us get on with our lives we'd all be better off with you gone"
I've never really wrapped my head round what he said made me wander is that what everyone else thinks as well and I did honestly consider ending my life and still do at times the number of occasions I've hoped I wouldn't wake up in the morning when going to sleep I couldn't even put a figure on because there have been so many times
I've spoken to doctor's and tried to explain what I'm feeling but they don't listen and put it down to my condition I take roughly 30 painkillers and other medication that they prescribed on a daily basis but I still have the pain and feel the same way I guess they don't understand what my life is like and how hard i find it cope with at times so I can understand and relate to some of comments you made in the video and I hope you get to that better place and get the support you need unfortunately we live in a society that shuns mental health issues and see the subject has taboo because to many people are quick to judge with insensitive comments and a lack of willingness to understand that we didn't ask to be this way it's the life we've been dealt and where just trying to get through it the best we can
# Be Kind ❤️ # Peace To All ❤️
I am so sorry that you did not receive the love and support that you deserved from your father and "friends." The world isn't better off without you. That was his own pain speaking. You are loved and you are here with us now. Never alone.
Awesome !!
I think a react of "The Unforgiven" from Metallica would be great.
The song has very deep lyrics, about forgiveness, regret and how people fail to find out who they could be, and stop being who they are because they are always pleasing anothers and leaving themselves.
In studio version you can feel all the hate and melancholy of this song, San Diego 1992 was also an insane performance.
I’m supposed to be on mental health medication but I quit taking them over a year ago because they made me feel like killing somebody or myself. I’m struggling day to day but I feel better than I did while on the meds.
Meds had extreme adverse effects for me as well.
avenged sevenfold are great. you should check out more!
React to "I won't see you tonight part 1" by Avenged. It's a song about their old guitarist who committed suicide. They have been through a lot as a band.
Also can you listen to a song called "Hide and Seek".Its a good song.It starts of like weird,then gets crazy,then it gets totally creapy.I really like creapy songs for some weird reason.
First time I heard this song was in 2011. Just getting over divorce. Still had contact with my ex but every time she came to "talk" I would put up this song. She quickly understood the message
That sounds like me with Bye Bye Bye by *N Sync. HAHA!
If you don't fight your inner demons head on, it could bring you down when you aren't mentally prepared for it at all and that is tough.
I've tried medication that gave me more suicide thoughts, I have talked to psychological doctors that weren't able to help me at all.
I have deeper understanding about myself than anyone else and I know what works for me. I am also aware of the fact that my soul and brain is very limited on this planet on a spiritual level.
But I have conquered much darkness myself.
VERY proud of you! It's no easy feat. Medication and therapy didn't work for me either.
I am a homeless vet who just lost my wife 2 weeks ago thank you for the space to talk about it
That is a lot on your shoulders! Here if you need to talk!
@@MentalAmanda thank you so much she was all i had and now its just me and our dog and i miss her every day haven't been sleeping good or eating great cant stop thinking about her and keep wondering if there was something i could have done
@@robtobery9562 You're going through a very normal grief process. When I lost my mom, my world stopped spinning. Try getting a journal and just writing down every single memory you can think of with her. That helped me a little. Just know that you're going to cry and scream and feel like you're going crazy, but it's all very normal. Just seeing your messages about her, I am confident in saying that she knew you loved her.
@@MentalAmanda hey i posted a video on my channel called i miss my wife i would really like it if you could check it out and maybe tell me what you think
@@robtobery9562 I think the onion ninjas are out early today. I left a comment on the video.
I have a friend that attempted suicide. I didnt chastise him, not immediately anyway. He said something that has stuck with me..."Imagine feeling like the biggest failure, and then even failing to die properly". It took a few beers, and a LOT of camping trips, but he's doin great now in literally every aspect of his life. I dont recommend un-aliving yourself, but in very select circumstances, I can understand it such as my uncle with stage 4 cancer from agent orange and PTSD from watching his best friend die in his arms. He was on his way out anyways and just didn't want to stick around for the worst parts of the cancer journey, so I dont bear him any ill will in his decision. Most other things in life can be worked through however, even if you just grab a stranger you'll never see again and buy them a cup of coffee for listening to you...an old AA tactic. I hope everyone can recognize their own signs of desperation, and even though a phone weighs a thousand pounds when you most need it, find the strength to pick it up and use it.
A7F did a great job in this song of depicting what Hell is actually like according to traditional Theological studies. Hell is where you keep dying over and over again for all eternity ... like a nightmare that never ends. It is a place we do not want to be, not now, not ever. I believe that God is trying to bring us all away from there ... to eternal joy in Heaven where there is no death or pain. The lyrics in the song can be compared to the Devil and his demons tormenting us and trying to steal our soul through despair, depression, evil thoughts, and especially lies. The Devil is known as the "Father of All Lies."
Notice the laughing and the words that are used in the song lyrics: "such an easy soul to steal" and "you belong here ... in this nightmare" and "God ain't on your side" ... They are things that a demon would say. There is a "price of evil," that is death, but Our Lord truly loves us all and has conquered death on the Cross so that we may have life. We do not always know that we are doing something evil until after the damage is done and we start spiralling out of control. Thankfully we are always loved (and forgiven) by God and he will send angels to help us, to save us. These angels come in many forms ... through various people, places, or things ... Through something we may experience with our 5 senses ... And yes, even through a song we hear just at the right time. 🙂
If u want a A7X songs so far away and dear god be good for channel but this images are from Jacob ladder it’s nothing to do with there state of mind it was jimmy the rev there drummer and friends favourite movie it was a tribute to him
Love A7X bad ass band favorite song So far away a tribute to there late drummer 😢🖤🙏🤘🏻Jimmy the rev Sullivan
I am a 17 years old guy that is suicidal for almost 10 years now, since last summer I work hard on myself, I went through 5 suicide attempt since that summer, I lost everything at that time, my group of best friend, I could get them arrested for what they said, my parents a part of the problem too, I don't have anyone real to talk too, in a few month I learn so much about depression and it's easy for me to see red flags in people, so it's really hard to find some people that are a minimum real, I am still going through depression, I work on an other major part of myself and I am mentally insane bc I want it done and I am only focus on that, I need someome to talk to because Idk when will be my last day, I could decide tomorrow to commite suicide
You can message me anytime. You aren't alone. There is a whole community of people here who have struggled, many who are still struggling. I've lost everything, been betrayed and abandoned and dealt with more crappy fake people than I care to remember. Not everyone is like that!
Listen to So Far Away from them It's a hard song that many of us can relate to it.
the more I hear about the way mental health professionals fuck up and traumatize the people in their care the more horrified and angry I get
they may have good intentions, but those don't mean shit when all they do is make things *worse* for the people they are meant to *help* while refusing to just *listen* when these people tell them that what they are doing isn't helping. they think they know better and it's honestly such a paternalistic and downright dehumanizing way to view one's patients.
the road to hell is paved with good intentions indeed.
Aye sister girl, as an Aussie Aboriginal, spiders aren't that bad. I mean. You can talk to them and they usually listen. There's no need to be afraid of our 8 legged friends. Cautious, of cause, afraid, nah. They're more scared of you. Treat them with respect and they'd look after you. I had a group of Hunstsman spiders as protection in my car. Generally harmless but they will fight if need be. Great lads/shiellas. The Redbacks were bit of an issue but I gave them a chance to leave before I had to clean them out. Most did. I may have messed with nature doing that but I don't like ending lives, even bugs
I did make friends with a little gold fella out by my garden area. I realized I was missing him when I didn't spot him. His name is Monsieur Araignee (Mr. Spider in french).
Hello, did you recover ok from that video? Pretty confronting wasn't it. Your reaction to the spider kind of reminded me of my storm astraphobia. I had a couple of loud rumbles wake me up at half past 4 in the morning, (not my idea of an alarm clock 😬) and then got up running into the living room with hands over my ears, humming any song I can think of straining to block it out. Gladly it disappeared quick, I keep getting that chest tightness and am breathing hard when storms come. I cringed at some of the things we saw on that also but would have been a little different for you, because you see it on full size green, I'm just seeing it in the top right hand corner.
Yes, I did, thank you! Invest in a good noise cancelling headset! My friend has a son terrified of storms and if one comes, he will put that on with his favorite artist until it's over.
Hey Amanda, I saw your video for Metallica's "One" for the first time today and I really like your view point and discussions on mental health. When I was watching it, I was thinking you need an uplifting metal song, so I'm going to suggest Corpus Christi, "Prodigal," I think you'll really like it. And if you want a very sad song that deals with mental health/addiction to react to, look up Benjamin Tod, "Using Again," but be prepared for how sad it is. Both songs hit me very personally. Anyway, be well
Here's a band called Suicide Silence with Tatiana Shmaylyuk from Jinjer, singing a cover of Alice in Chains' "Man in the Box". No spiders. ua-cam.com/video/esbQBnvsF0M/v-deo.html You should check out the band Jinjer. Their song "Teacher, Teacher" is something you would like.
The music video is creepy, but the song is awesome. 👍
This song is less about mental illness and more about a man who committed a life of evil and is now banished to hell, only to find out that hell is just reliving your worst nightmares and biggest fears over and over again. "You should have known the price of evil. And it hurts to know that you belong here"
I like this take on it!
avenged sevenfold-god hates us live rock am 2011
I used to listen to them a lot and I love them! I realized though, when I listen to them, they make me kind of depressed and sad xd
When you are on rock bottom mentally, all you can do is search for at least one way of getting back to the top. If you don't do that, things could be much worse.
If you don't shine light against your demons so they get destroyed you can easily loose against them.
Omg you got to see the LP tribute concert, I wish I could've seen then just once rip
I saw LP once live, but I had awful seats.
11:45 I see myself a bit in what you said. Die by own hand and such. Sigh 😔 was a fear of mine at 17-19 cause I somehow set my death date at 20 or something
I hate majority of spiders as well. Though strangely I like jumping spiders.. >< saw avenged sevenfold perform this song live in 2010. Was like 50+ feet away from the stage but still felt the heat from every blast of pyro.
I know I'm a year late but this song was originally written from the vantage point of someone who died; during God's judgement was given access to his full memories and consequences of his actions; was sent to Hell; and knew they deserved it. It didn't take God's judgement to convince them of their fate because the complete access to their life's full spiritual memory left them riddled with such shame and regret they didn't even try to appeal their fate. They knew they'd earned it.
That's the ultimate nightmare. That's the most terrifying possibility imaginable- knowing you truly did do all of the terrible things that merit such a punishment and nothing can ever be done to erase it.
The video is a different story entirely. The video made losing the Rev the obvious focal point but the music itself was actually written to tell a different story. All of the music on the Nightmare album was already completed and recorded, and was in the process of being mixed when The Rev died. As a result, the Nightmare music video (and subsequent world tour) made The Rev's death the primary focus, but the lyrics were actually written and performed with a different storytelling objective initially.
amanda can i just say i know i said in your livestream that i lost my mom when i was young, but i actually was an outpatient in a mental hospital by the time i was 18 , now at the time i actually had no idea why i was there either , i was never actually told, my ex and i had just broken up due to reasons , but i had such uncontrollable anger issues as a kid and it wasnt until literally years later after my first suicide attempt that i decided to get my self some therapy(counselling) and it was within those first few sessions that i learnt why i went to the hospital, and she put two and two together for me, hearing your story although different to mine also casts some shadows of familiarity and i can totally relate,
I hope you are finding healing 💗
@@MentalAmanda struggling not gunna lie honestly some things i can look back on and think that was then ive learnt from it and moved on, however some things now healing feels like impossible
@@scott49140 Some things are much bigger and much more challenging! For me, I break those things down. For example, I'm struggling with grief surrounding my miscarriage. Obviously, that's not going to just go away or be easy to overcome. So I create healing rituals or exposure therapy challenges to help myself heal on a more reasonable timeline.
@@MentalAmanda everything Is dark right now has been for most of my life , no one cares why should they , if life is trying to tell me something then fine I'm listening I finally get the hint, I'm.done trying to lie to myself or telling myself the same thing I'm told whenever I try to reach out, I'm not angry jus hurting I can't see a light I just want to talk to someone who has been there and actually understands music is the only other thing that does
@@scott49140 Anger is always a response to hurt of some kind. It's okay. It's just finding ways to channel it. I have been there, spent over two decades in rock bottom depression. Message me anytime.
Tremonti - Marching in Time. You will love it and the lyrical message it has.😊
I think the song is more about people whove found themselves permanently institutionalized due to choices they made that were probably counter to every teaching they had be it in school, by parents/grandparents, or society in general. I dont believe it was written to convey a suicidal tone or a psychological disorder such as schizophrenia, rather the plight that some have put themselves in.
One of the many reasons I go to a therapist is fear of spiders I feel your pain 🤣
Hope your mental health gets better all of you and amanda. As for me i feel its way to late for help
It's never too late. I'm here. You aren't alone,
You need to listen to so far away by avenged sevenfold this song was written for the rev (there first drummer) who committed suicide and then read the lyrics to fiction this song is basically the rev's suicide note