If A Man is Using A Woman, He will Show These 5 BEHAVIORS

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  • Опубліковано 20 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 989

  • @SaveTheMessenger
    @SaveTheMessenger  3 місяці тому +98

    Thanks to all of you that have subscribed to my channel.
    It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.

    • @Jasminepsalm
      @Jasminepsalm 3 місяці тому +3

      Wishing you had a Twitter account

    • @Herdailyvibe
      @Herdailyvibe 3 місяці тому +2

      So you are talking about every other desi man.

    • @rozisultana5477
      @rozisultana5477 2 місяці тому +3

      Y

    • @rozisultana5477
      @rozisultana5477 2 місяці тому +1

      Theñk you for 5his

    • @bethatomy
      @bethatomy 2 місяці тому +4

      Thanks sir ..when I aware man do that to me I just pretend stupid and laugh at them in my heart. We woman with brain normally can't be easily trapped by these type of man.

  • @RoseWoldtsadik
    @RoseWoldtsadik 3 місяці тому +1079

    All these from my husband. And I made a decision to leave him. Now, 2 days in my new apartment thanks God.

    • @TamsPsychAdvice
      @TamsPsychAdvice 3 місяці тому +66

      I admire your courage. Wishing you a bright and happier future!

    • @ssourashtra2723
      @ssourashtra2723 3 місяці тому +19

      Ky baat h ❤ congratulations 🎊

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  3 місяці тому +121

      I hope your comment inspires other women to walk away from relationships that drain their energy and self-worth.

    • @Seaturtle098
      @Seaturtle098 3 місяці тому +30

      You are literally a warrior 💪🏻

    • @moonshine-n1r
      @moonshine-n1r 3 місяці тому +34

      That was brave. Never go back!

  • @jsolargo
    @jsolargo 3 місяці тому +871

    1. Inconsistent affection. One sided.
    2. Maybe man.
    3. Loves free therapy. Uses you for emotional dumping
    4. Points out your flaw.
    5. He’s always busy. You’re not a priority

    • @macm2373
      @macm2373 3 місяці тому +39

      Thank you, no need to watch now lol 😆

    • @nyamheria
      @nyamheria 3 місяці тому

      @@macm2373there’s explanation behind those points

    • @Ifidreamitidoit3566
      @Ifidreamitidoit3566 3 місяці тому +15

      Thanks. Now I don't have to watch it 😁

    • @annabanzon313
      @annabanzon313 3 місяці тому +11

      What about inconsistent libido?

    • @annabanzon313
      @annabanzon313 3 місяці тому +6

      Actually I kind of do these things. Argh 😢

  • @rachellibz2503
    @rachellibz2503 2 місяці тому +151

    Ever since I set boundaries, the true colors have come out.

  • @SunshineSanji
    @SunshineSanji 3 місяці тому +288

    This guy is gold!!!! I’ve just realised that the guy who pursued me and who I was head over heels with , was not showing me the affection consistently and only when he wants to. I started prioritising myself and not giving him much attention, and now he is subtly trying to reel me in again. I know what I’m dealing with now.

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  3 місяці тому +50

      I'm glad my content has been helping you. Next video will be on 'How To Keep a Man Interested in You Without Playing Games.' I'm looking forward to seeing you ladies implement that in your lives as well.

    • @maggiemaina-tn9tg
      @maggiemaina-tn9tg 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@SaveTheMessenger can't wait for it coach😊

    • @sibusisommekwa2067
      @sibusisommekwa2067 3 місяці тому +14

      He is more than gold. I ended the relationship last year after experiencing all the things he has mentioned except for number 4 and u know what....that was the best decision I've ever made.

    • @ptyh27
      @ptyh27 3 місяці тому +5

      @SunshineSanji You are dealing with a boy

    • @Pinkythepainter777
      @Pinkythepainter777 3 місяці тому +18

      This is why I advise all my friends not to chase men, or put too much energy In it. Most men want what they can't have, or what isn't easily accessible. And definitely don't put out without a solid commitment. For me it has to be marriage. I'm happy being single, and not having to deal with indecisiveness.

  • @veronicacareaga985
    @veronicacareaga985 21 день тому +60

    #3- After a month of no contact he texted at 11:48pm "I really need somebody to talk to so bad". I am proud to say, i ran for the hills 😂

  • @roypressman2391
    @roypressman2391 3 місяці тому +303

    Married to a covert narcissist for 43 years was an emotional roller coaster until I educated myself on the personality and divorced him….its been a difficult journey yet I'm in a much better place now living and loving my life every day. So grateful I divorced him and on my own.

    • @ptyh27
      @ptyh27 3 місяці тому +15

      @@roypressman2391 Wow. What took you so long to realize? Sorry I hope this question doesn't offend you

    • @pares7
      @pares7 2 місяці тому +6

      Bravo!

    • @somefootprints
      @somefootprints 2 місяці тому +5

      Respect to you dear..❤

    • @wa4cbg
      @wa4cbg 2 місяці тому +2

      Roy Pressman, I know him and it’s not you. Who are you?

    • @FoxC-l5l
      @FoxC-l5l 2 місяці тому +16

      Read "No Visible Wounds." Then you will understand how sneaky a narcissist is. I was married to one for 28 years before my eyes were opened. Hooray for your bravery. ☺️

  • @bonniehowell4760
    @bonniehowell4760 3 місяці тому +492

    Mine told me that nobody would ever marry me because I was "too nice". Years later, I have been married for 40 years with children and grandchildren who love me. He has never been married and has no children or grandchildren. Karma.

    • @specialk4762
      @specialk4762 2 місяці тому +18

      Absolute wonderful blessing ❤

    • @kristenk708
      @kristenk708 2 місяці тому +19

      "Nobody would marry you because you are too nice?" Lol what kind of comment is that, makes no sense hahah. Like the goal is to find someone mean and not nice? It's winning the lottery if someone is truly nice. It's like saying you won't be able to pay your bills if you are a millionaire 😂. I'm glad you didn't end up with that guy.

    • @sharonoverton9897
      @sharonoverton9897 Місяць тому +12

      You are describing a covert narcissist narcissist 😮...run run run..don't waste your life..

    • @chinadoll534
      @chinadoll534 Місяць тому +6

      You go girl!!! 🥰 congratulations on all that love

    • @fatimatubah15
      @fatimatubah15 29 днів тому +5

      Congratulations 🎊. I trust you because someone once got upset with me and told that I was too nice which I couldn't believe my ears.

  • @hybridangel3403
    @hybridangel3403 3 місяці тому +451

    It's sad. People play games. I have no time for this anymore.

    • @natalinobattisti1699
      @natalinobattisti1699 2 місяці тому +14

      Thank you. Me too, I have no time and no tolerance for games anymore. A total turn-off. You play games with me, you already lost me.
      I want a REAL Loving, Caring MAN who tells me straight up what's what and shows me. In the name of Love❣🌹
      Irene

    • @natalinobattisti1699
      @natalinobattisti1699 2 місяці тому +4

      ...True Love....that only builds over time.
      Irene

    • @natalinobattisti1699
      @natalinobattisti1699 2 місяці тому +4

      Not a Twin Mate.
      Not a Soul Mate.
      The Best - A Mate by Fate, meant to be. 🕊 🎆
      Irene

    • @melaniebaptista6265
      @melaniebaptista6265 2 місяці тому +8

      Exactly. I will never understand when people pursue a relationship for their ego. I mean just stay single. Why pretend you want a loving loyal relationship? Isn't it easier to stay single and not drag someone else into your egotistic games. It's cruel and evil.

    • @krishna-dq4cm
      @krishna-dq4cm Місяць тому +9

      Majority of them has no Ability to feel love(Nor will they ever have)

  • @ptyh27
    @ptyh27 3 місяці тому +432

    Im 47 now and done with dating for a long time if not forever. Its easy to find a boy but hard to find a true gentleman

    • @gladysaumentado7776
      @gladysaumentado7776 3 місяці тому +10

      True ❤

    • @bunniewood
      @bunniewood 3 місяці тому +46

      I’ve stopped dating men too. I’m so sick of the disappointment and selfishness. Living alone is actually so lovely and peaceful

    • @ptyh27
      @ptyh27 3 місяці тому +19

      @@bunniewood Yes many are really selfish liars, manipulative and unappreciative. They blame us for being dramatic but they can't even see their own problems and what causes women to be this way. It's exhausting

    • @IVvOOvVI
      @IVvOOvVI 3 місяці тому +3

      Hate to tell you there’s a lot of old men that you would never even be interested in are still a boy especially divorced man

    • @Karina_Engr
      @Karina_Engr 3 місяці тому

      4B

  • @TheMugCartel
    @TheMugCartel 2 місяці тому +84

    It’s really heartbreaking that we have to question whether someone truly cares or is just pretending. Leading someone on, making them believe they’re cared for when it’s not genuine, is emotionally manipulative and can even be a form of abuse. No one deserves to be deceived like that-it damages trust and self-worth. If someone doesn’t truly care, they shouldn’t be toying with others’ feelings.

    • @rottiemom1891
      @rottiemom1891 Місяць тому +4

      That's just it! They don't give a rats ass about anyone but themselves. Men!!! I can see why some women join the other team. 🤣🤣🤣

    • @James_charles124
      @James_charles124 8 днів тому

      Too many players

  • @maxinehargreaves8371
    @maxinehargreaves8371 17 днів тому +32

    Ive been on my own now for 8yrs and i love it. Only took me 20yrs to realise i actually dont need a man in my life, my last boyfriend 8yrs ago was cheating on me behind my back, while i was working nights in nursing,he was always distant but was only brave to ring me when he was drunk on a weekend. Cut a long story short, i told him i was working this particular weekend, and took it upon myself to get ready on a Saturday night and decided to meet up with some of my friends and go out. I went in to this bar were he went and caught him red handed embracing with a girl and kissing her. So i walked over to him tapped him on the shoulder and poured his drink over his head and told the girl your welcome to him. Because he will do the same to you😂. Ive stayed on my own ever since, the trust has gone,thank you Ismael for making us women aware, if there was only more HONEST!! Guys like you. 😊

  • @lorrainethomas1984
    @lorrainethomas1984 2 місяці тому +78

    He’s right a Man will MAKE TIME For a Woman. FACTS 🙌🏾🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @dorrisevans2265
    @dorrisevans2265 Місяць тому +61

    This is exactly why I'm staying single, celibate, and happy by choice, for 4 years now. I dont have time to play games. Pay Attention to the Red Flags 🚩🚩🚩. Know Your Worth 💯🙏🥰.
    Thank you, Ismael Gomez.

  • @winkingowl1913
    @winkingowl1913 3 місяці тому +132

    He’s always busy!
    That’s his excuse for not texting me daily!
    I just didn’t understand why he can’t take five minutes a day to text with me. I’m not a priority to him!
    I needed to hear that thank you ! ❤

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  3 місяці тому +26

      I'm glad it resonated with you. You deserve someone who makes you a priority, even with a busy schedule. Never settle for less.

    • @fernleaf13
      @fernleaf13 2 місяці тому +17

      Everyone's has 5 minutes in a day. Whomever says that thet are too busy is a lier.

    • @camilabeltran9276
      @camilabeltran9276 2 місяці тому +1

      _Now we are _*_2_* 🫤

    • @beatcat1265
      @beatcat1265 2 місяці тому +10

      Exactly! If someone is too busy for you then please be too busy for them! Don't text him don't call him and if he texts you then don't immediately respond or even read it wait 3-5 hours

    • @Tanishqa-gh1cx
      @Tanishqa-gh1cx 2 місяці тому +3

      😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

  • @l.g.4451
    @l.g.4451 3 місяці тому +179

    I always find it interesting that when a "boyfriend" doesn't take a woman out publicly or doesn't consistently check in with her, she doesn't see that as an answer. There's never any need to ask him "why" questions. He has shown you he is not interested. Believe him the FIRST time he tells you who he is. Be glad you dodged a bullet. Learn to read the signs the first-time ladies.

    • @yellowdayz1800
      @yellowdayz1800 3 місяці тому +14

      Childhood neglect leads to this easily.... Even parents that supplied well, but worked to much. The list goes on. These people a fall in love way to deeply.... I learned the hard way. We sacrifice self on a hgher scale. It is not all bad... The worst is the mere fact there is to many Vultures out there. And some are DARVO abusers..you know that that is? 🎉

    • @natalinobattisti1699
      @natalinobattisti1699 2 місяці тому +4

      Hm, not sure, what are DARVO abusers?
      I'm familiar with many types of Abusers and not just in coupled relationships, but I'm not familiar with this term. Thanks...
      Irene

    • @yellowdayz1800
      @yellowdayz1800 2 місяці тому +1

      @@natalinobattisti1699 hi Irene, my name is Sandy, DARVO abuse is insedious mental abuse. The best way to obtain a victim for these type of serious psychological abusers is to marry one! The way this abuse works.. There is none better than to marry a spouse and even have children.... Or to do so to coworkers and families. The more dependent the person is on you, or loves you, the more they tolerate and or don't see the abuse..
      Other people... Will tell them to f off. Excuse my French.. Eventually most will..
      Anyways... They are known to marry psychologist and trip them up. For many of them the end time goal is to lead us to commit suicide and or to go bat crazy for real and think your truly becoming mentally ill and or an anger problem to start with.... I wen to counseling and I said I am getting a anger problem, need anger management...
      Anyways... There are tons of licenced psychologist on UA-cam. PLEASE get very familiar with this.. It starts with mainly they are annoying more than normal... That will get worst... The biggest... Is the gaslighting and stonewalling communication... This is where you can usually spot them. A good one may toy past here now.. With the internet.. Yet, your gut will tell you...
      This is absolutely serious abuse.. I am 2 years into recovery, saved most my money from. Being swallowed up in the abuse and stuck with him more and longer or whatever.. Homelessness to leave... If no family.
      Do you remember Amber Heard and what she did to Depp? That is a form of DARVO abuse.. Married him with the intent to later accuse him falsely with lies... That he abused and reaped her..
      That is serious abuse.... Very serious... Very evil. Very evil. Some get away with it.. The laws have caught up in many places now.. If you know a victim tell them to go to the professionals online. UA-cam.
      My son was 8... And he was abused mentally. I didn't know for a few years... Long story... This is truly pschopathic abuse.. I have the normal panic attacks etc now.i will be much better in a year plus.. And much better every day I am not abused by that sick man... There is so many doing this abuse is why they now have the laws. It is a clean hands MO... Crime. For psychos.. But the laws are catching up..
      I like to follow Dr Enlightenedme, Dr jimmyforrelationships, Dr Richard Grannon, *****'Professor Sam Vaknin ***** Dr Tim Fletcher, Dr Jim Brillon, Dr Les Carter.. DR Ramoni... There is plenty more. Pass the word along please. And especially any young adult with no family backbone.. Neglected and or abused.. They need it most. They are the ones that get more swooped up, only because they are so easy to manipulate for DARVO abuse...
      Hugs..

    • @yellowdayz1800
      @yellowdayz1800 2 місяці тому +1

      @@natalinobattisti1699 PS DARVO abusers are also called, reactionary abusers.. The whole goal, one of them, is to keep provoking negative reactions in you and when they are your spouse.. They can make sour lemonade every step of the way... It becomes surreal in the end.. These guys are predators in every psychological way possible at times.. Then back off when the peak becomes to great..the spend about 5 years grooming you or so... there usually will be a little bit of abuse to start with or more than a bit of this sly emotional abuse.. Most of us have no clue it is gojng on.. Unless they overreach. If they do.. We will believe their excuses they seem plausible..
      It is unreal the level of premeditation they do for this stuff..
      And most of the time, if they don't lead you to commit suicide or whatever they thought.. They usually are known for dragging out the divorce in very abusive ways with lies, getting full custody of the children with lies... They can ans are well known to try to get you thrown into jail for "abuse" you didn't do, even perhaps try to frame you for abusing them, like mine did to me...many of them will be all lovey good in bed likely... And then try to ruin your career... Many have succeeded... Some have ruined honest drs lives, some drs sitting in jail over false allegations.... Because of this sick men and women. Most DARVO abusers are men... If I am correct. Learning a lot still..
      Yes. Society needs to know more about these sick individuals.

    • @dennisahlarson1584
      @dennisahlarson1584 2 місяці тому

      ​​@@natalinobattisti1699DARVO stands for: Deny, Attack, Reverse the roles of Victim and Oppressor. A commonly used abuse tactic by narcissistic people to make you feel crazy and wrong for confronting them and defending yourself against them when you try to hold them accountable. The ultimate goal is to put THEM in the light as a victim of YOUR cruelty and make YOU look like public enemy #1.

  • @annaalm18
    @annaalm18 3 місяці тому +114

    Ismael, I wish I had found you in my 20s, would have saved me a lot of drama and pain! Thank you so much - your advice is priceless!

  • @DanaSimmons
    @DanaSimmons 2 місяці тому +36

    Subscribed! The guy that I am/was dating is too busy to text me but when we are together he is texting and by his phone. Thankfully I picked up on that after our second date and haven’t reached out. We spoke for weeks and told me about wanting to be in a relationship but he isn’t ready. He also comes around or calls when it’s convenient for him. No thank you. He has got to go. All talk, no action.

  • @mariemeia
    @mariemeia 3 місяці тому +195

    My bf is all of those 5. thank you for waking me up from this nightmare.

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  3 місяці тому +27

      New knowledge unlocked ✅

    • @kky.x
      @kky.x 3 місяці тому +6

      Its painful

    • @jayachakraborty412
      @jayachakraborty412 2 місяці тому +3

      How to get over from all of these?? Sometimes they become our habits, we started to grow feelings for them... How to get out of that emotional bonding??

    • @kky.x
      @kky.x 2 місяці тому +3

      @@jayachakraborty412 I need to know too. It’s harder cause he wont give me any closure

    • @Artbynbru
      @Artbynbru 2 місяці тому

      @@kky.xyou don’t need closure from him. You have the information you need to give yourself closure. By waiting for him to give closure, he’s still in full control of you.

  • @Michelle-zn6oh
    @Michelle-zn6oh 3 місяці тому +91

    All five things are present with a person I’m currently considering…thank you for the heads up!

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  3 місяці тому +5

      I'm glad my video found you today.

    • @lauriepeifer7297
      @lauriepeifer7297 2 місяці тому +4

      RUN!!! 🏃‍➡️🏃‍➡️🏃‍➡️🏃‍➡️🏃‍➡️

  • @lorrainec3673
    @lorrainec3673 2 місяці тому +31

    I agree that relationships that don't work out teach us what we don't want. I also had encountered the " too busy" man and never entertained doing anything with him. Still confused about what he ever wanted.. didn't talk much either, but I agree, women need to "hear" & listen to these guys. Your time is valuable too, so it's time to take responsibility and not give it away. I agree, many people are energy vampires, that resonates strong for me. Do this test with all of your connections. If anyone leaves you upset & drained after spending time or just communicating with them, it's time to step away from them.
    Thank you for this.

  • @Healthandfood220
    @Healthandfood220 3 місяці тому +83

    Well, he has all 5 signs, finally decided to let him go a month ago after a year of mental abuse and severe trauma. Hope I never spiral back.

  • @socorromeza1273
    @socorromeza1273 2 місяці тому +24

    I have lived long enough to experience what it feels like to be loved and when you have experienced that, it’s easy to identify a fake

  • @Coleen-n9m
    @Coleen-n9m 2 місяці тому +16

    When it came to me I just wanted someone else to love me,care about me,, want me, need me as a friend, as his lady, life partner. But that's never ever been the case for me. All that I have been there for someone else is that I have been used by way too much,by way too many people. It deeply hurt me to be taken advantage of. I sure really truly honestly wouldn't have the heart to do that to someone else never ever. The people who takes advantage of you will be paid back with karma when the time comes for them to receive it.

  • @Julia-t2g7d
    @Julia-t2g7d Місяць тому +18

    Thanks for those tips.I found 2 red flags and just enough to let go of him.

    • @zapomogapietnascie8751
      @zapomogapietnascie8751 27 днів тому

      better asap than too late (u ll be too heartbroken to let him go and this nightmare will never end)

  • @Prooforunproof2024
    @Prooforunproof2024 16 днів тому +10

    I was talking to someone for 3 years and everything you said it was him 😮

  • @KassieP-sf6nz
    @KassieP-sf6nz 2 місяці тому +35

    Both of my narcissist ex did this it’s crazy after they played me they want to come back . I know who they are now .Everything you say is true about my ex I still can’t believe I was that damn dumb I really need to forgive myself for giving them the time of day.💔😢🙏

  • @vivianfolsom9341
    @vivianfolsom9341 Місяць тому +8

    Yep, I’ve been wasting my time with him. I haven’t known him long but lack of communication, making plans and then canceling. I already talked to him about it pretty quickly. I told him to take time to figure out what he wants because I deserve to be treated better.

  • @CarolynWright-yc9ql
    @CarolynWright-yc9ql 2 місяці тому +51

    You are absolutely 💯 CORRECT! STAY AWAY FROM THESE MONSTERS!😊

  • @DarkSiren81
    @DarkSiren81 14 днів тому +4

    Great video. Unfortunately I’ve experienced this with every single guy I’ve dated. I’ve never had a relationship where I’ve been a priority. I’ve never even had a man chase me. Thank you for helping me recognize these signs. For this reason I’ve permanently taken myself off the market.

  • @violakusasira
    @violakusasira 19 днів тому +8

    Been looking for you. Glad i found your channel when i least expected it. Praise God! You're saving lives ❤

  • @thoudamindibati1505
    @thoudamindibati1505 3 місяці тому +121

    He always wanted texting. He never allowed me to call him or he never called me also saying his family members are there. And I was always considering him like a fool and always chasing him like a shameless woman.... now enough is enough...no more chance....

    • @tinaali3686
      @tinaali3686 3 місяці тому +18

      He might be married be or sorry he might not be interested anymore..

    • @thoudamindibati1505
      @thoudamindibati1505 3 місяці тому

      @@tinaali3686 he said he is unmarried and he is 43 years old...he is very diplomatic type person... lastly I found out that he talked to everyone except me...he was using me because of my kind simple heart and I realised late 😭😭

    • @Seaturtle098
      @Seaturtle098 3 місяці тому +8

      Same here, but yeah I have too much pride to pursue someone like him LoL

    • @thoudamindibati1505
      @thoudamindibati1505 3 місяці тому +3

      @@Seaturtle098 😁😁😜👍

    • @Hadassahtexas
      @Hadassahtexas 3 місяці тому +10

      Probably married.

  • @cherylsimpson5899
    @cherylsimpson5899 2 місяці тому +10

    I need to stop giving someone too many compliments all the time. I say I won't do it anymore and I keep doing it over and over again.

  • @barbarabermingham9385
    @barbarabermingham9385 3 місяці тому +175

    Ladies Walk Away👍🌟💫

    • @Shalini7448
      @Shalini7448 25 днів тому

      We should walk away from man, because all men are the same we just used and through a man......

  • @KarmaBear44
    @KarmaBear44 2 місяці тому +21

    I noticed all these things in various relationships I've been in. But as I have gotten older I see more of the bigger picture so things end pretty quickly if they even begin

  • @deniseunknown4576
    @deniseunknown4576 2 місяці тому +7

    I always thought he was rude to interrupt me and start talking about his issues…I can’t believe I just let that slide like I didn’t matter. Smh. Sometimes I think we are “too nice”

  • @swapnamishra2875
    @swapnamishra2875 3 місяці тому +17

    What could be more heartbreaking than loosing a person because of this reasons💔. I loved a man with whole of my heart and I still love him, but he keep finding out flaws out of me and never tried to understand me. Now it hurts a lot💔

    • @Fern_Yaz_Pets_Music
      @Fern_Yaz_Pets_Music 3 місяці тому +2

      Can't understand why you love him then.. Why would you if he treats you that way?

    • @Helios-Zia
      @Helios-Zia 3 місяці тому

      @@Fern_Yaz_Pets_Music codependency

    • @carlotta4308
      @carlotta4308 2 місяці тому +2

      If he doesn't try to understand you he is a non-starter. You will be on your own emotionally and perhaps physically - what will be he be like if you have children together?? Or if you lose someone precious to you?? He won't be there for you! waste no more time and find someone who worships the ground you walk on - but also is strong enough to stand up to you in a good way. i had a friend whose boyfriend said, now, what are we going to do about your hair? that is he didn't like it but to her it was the favouratie part of herself. He evenutally dumped her and she met someone who just loves her as she is, even though they argue a bit, and at 60+ they still have a dynamic sexual relatinoship - and two adult children

    • @swapnamishra2875
      @swapnamishra2875 2 місяці тому

      @@Fern_Yaz_Pets_Music actually, first he wasn't like that and I believe that he is not how he treats me but as we become more closer he told me not to share our things to one of our close friends, but eventually after some days I shared by trusting my friend like we met and ate a sweet dish etc like that stuff and almost I didn't listened to him. It was my fault. He started even getting angry and doubting on me in every small things which I didn't have done. There's a lot things to explain here but the things got worse between us. And he chose to trust my friend rather than trusting me. And lastly..I was the one left alone, broken.
      There's still many things where he's at fault but I didn't get able to make him see his faults and expected that he may see those by himself but.. lastly he just left me saying that he cares for my friend more than me. 💔
      Truly it hurts but by heart I still love him so much and it's not my obsession but I just poured all my heart into him. That's why I love him, even if he doesn't love me back.🙃

    • @swapnamishra2875
      @swapnamishra2875 2 місяці тому

      @@carlotta4308 you're right. I am trying to move on and just focusing on my self. I know I deserve a great person who can pull me out from my lowest and give me the highest possibilities of mine ,but I loved that man so much, I gave all my heart to him and I still love him. So I want to be the one for myself who can be there for myself now.
      And neither I want any relationship right now. Either that person comes back by realizing and changing himself for me, otherwise it's great for me to be with myself, strengthen my self from within. Also if someone else comes to my life or not, that'll be totally fine to me.
      For me.. Love is something that comes once from your heart and only for one person.

  • @Quantum_Physics123
    @Quantum_Physics123 Місяць тому +5

    Thanks for posting this about selfish and self-entitled ppl. I think this should be implemented in schools as part of education so that genuine ppl can save themselves from these energy vampires. You are doing a great job sharing this knowledge. Keep up the good work.

  • @brendarodriguez2269
    @brendarodriguez2269 3 місяці тому +6

    Don’t have a guy yet, just here to get informed and educated on certain topics. Thanks Ismael!!

    • @jandrews6254
      @jandrews6254 21 день тому +1

      Please understand! You do not HAVE a guy! Get that out of your head. Just like he does not HAVE you!
      Words are important, they frame your thoughts.
      You are either WITH, or you are not.
      Play around as much as you want but when it comes to “settling” down, you need a “partner”, as in the other part of a team. You each have to be as invested as the other in the partnership, and for the love of ? please, before you have children.

  • @asterindraven2643
    @asterindraven2643 2 місяці тому +5

    I'm 34 & mine was definitely all 5 & I had already noticed it & left him over a year ago now & I’ve never been married yet thankfully

  • @sibusisommekwa2067
    @sibusisommekwa2067 3 місяці тому +35

    As I listen to this,um realising that indeed I wasted 8 good years of my life with a toxic man. I feel so much hate towards him.

    • @l.g.4451
      @l.g.4451 2 місяці тому +2

      Please be aware that you are still giving away your energy by having those hateful thoughts towards him, which only hurts you in the end (bitterness). A narcissist doesn't even deserve that, and he certainly would not care anyway.

    • @amykru
      @amykru Місяць тому +1

      Holding that hatred is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiveness frees YOU!

  • @LivLovePray-f5o
    @LivLovePray-f5o 2 місяці тому +13

    Wish I had known then what I know now. I gave way too much of myself to more than one loser. I truly feel that the absence of a dad in a woman's life contributes to lack of self esteem. My dad passed suddenly when I was six. I don't blame him. It is what it was. His absence left a void in my life. He was protective over me. No one would have ever harmed me, then my mother had to fill both roles. She was a loving, wonderful mom but no one replaces daddy and no one ever will but that dad/daughter connection is very important. Last loser I had a brief fling with was back in 2016. I am coming to the conclusion that I must prepare to be alone til the end of this life...AND be at peace with it and myself.

    • @rickyhank118
      @rickyhank118 Місяць тому +2

      Also you can have a father present but he is cold, unloving and away most of the time, when he is home he pulls you down constantly critisising you , destroying your self confidence, & because of this you are constantly craving a father figure, a males attention and you just want to be loved and taken care of, sadly you can also be taken advantage of because of your fragile, naive & vulnerable state

    • @LivLovePray-f5o
      @LivLovePray-f5o Місяць тому +1

      @@rickyhank118 Truth....the bottom line is a dad can be alive yet absent from their children's emotional lives. I feel I would have rather had my dad pass as he did than have a dad who is still living yet absent. My dad was at least protective of me. He loved and cared for me until he passed.

    • @pamelamubuta
      @pamelamubuta Місяць тому +2

      😢

  • @adrienneberry1764
    @adrienneberry1764 17 днів тому +1

    Mr, Gomez, thank you for your boldness to tell us women the truth and not sugar coat it. The whole dating thing is too much of a game. Both men and women need to learn how to treat each other. Hollywood is not where we should learn. You are a breath of fresh air.

  • @thymetrees
    @thymetrees 3 місяці тому +23

    You have such a caring disposition, thank you.

  • @beccaBryan07
    @beccaBryan07 Місяць тому +6

    This just brought clarity to why I left my boyfriend. Thank you.

  • @AnnM-ff6vm
    @AnnM-ff6vm 3 місяці тому +20

    All this happens in my life so much frustrating about this man whom I’m dating it sucks to be with this kind of man in my life, he always puts me down.

    • @NatasaJanser
      @NatasaJanser 3 місяці тому +12

      A man who puts you down is not worth your time.
      Leave him and look for a man who appreciates your company ❤
      I did it years ago and never looked back

    • @Hadassahtexas
      @Hadassahtexas 3 місяці тому +2

      Trying to control you. Also, trying to ruin your confidence so you aren't confident enough to get a better man. Many men do this.

    • @renarouge-v8b
      @renarouge-v8b 3 місяці тому +2

      Girl leave him he's probably insecure that he doesn't deserve you or jealous of you and doesn't want you to realise your own worth

    • @lotus7313
      @lotus7313 3 місяці тому +3

      You deserve to be treated nice.

    • @carlotta4308
      @carlotta4308 2 місяці тому

      get out get out get out; my dad put my mum down all their married life until she had a stroke and couldn't talk as much. 50 years...

  • @lees7340
    @lees7340 3 місяці тому +16

    I wasted 19 years with a husband who displayed all these traits. I woke up last month, contacted a lawyer and filed a divorce. Even after I filed, he came to me to complain and whine about things, eg. he had the crown broken off his tooth, instead of calling the dental office, he called me. I told him I am not interested to know and I am no longer his emotional dumpster.

    • @brendalee1619
      @brendalee1619 2 місяці тому +4

      I wasted 20 years

    • @rickyhank118
      @rickyhank118 Місяць тому

      So did I, and I'm so full of regret that I didn't wake up sooner that it's ruined my life, I can barely live with myself for being such a fool ​@@brendalee1619

  • @matrescence_motherhood
    @matrescence_motherhood 2 місяці тому +15

    It’s sad that it’s so normalized that men will try to use women. It’s sad that all of the responsibility is put on women to not get used and none on men to not use women. 😢

  • @Chocaluvr
    @Chocaluvr 26 днів тому +3

    I wish you were around when I was in my twenties. You give advice that can help women see clearly who they’re with. I had a relationship years ago with someone like this and he nearly drove me insane from the emotional rollercoaster he put me through.

  • @eaglespiritradio6009
    @eaglespiritradio6009 3 місяці тому +5

    I am new on the dating scene and have grown so much in recognizing red flags from your videos. So grateful -? Thank you. 🙏🏻😇❤️

  • @christinalopez5606
    @christinalopez5606 Місяць тому +1

    The last one was golden ❤ My Dad told me at an early age, a man will MAKE time for you..period.. thank you for clarifying that. You run 3 business but make the time for your woman.. exactly.. and believe me women.. WE ARE WORTH IT, do not ever settle for that excuse.. it doesn't take long to make a quick call/text to stay connected.. remember that

  • @BarbaraAntoinetteVeronica
    @BarbaraAntoinetteVeronica 2 місяці тому +7

    Ismael, I appreciate you. The struggling we all do, every human & living creature on the face of this earth is difficult, but what I do not accept is the need that some terribly misguided souls to drag good people to their knees with their self destruction & selfish retaliation for their own evil ways.

    • @BarbaraAntoinetteVeronica
      @BarbaraAntoinetteVeronica 2 місяці тому

      What I say today is, if they do not see the Light of the Lord inside you run, don't walk away as rapidly as fathomable. Amen.

  • @GloriaCote-o1c
    @GloriaCote-o1c 11 днів тому +1

    Looks as if I need to change. Ismael, it is so enjoyable listening to you because you make so much sense.

  • @toluwalopeawodoye1821
    @toluwalopeawodoye1821 3 місяці тому +23

    Thanks Ishmael for these tips. I've always had my instinct tells me this guy is just using me and wasting my time, I know better now, well clarified 🎉

  • @zubenelgenubi_ii
    @zubenelgenubi_ii 3 місяці тому +10

    Thank you so so much, you have just opened my eyes.

  • @angietopaz6099
    @angietopaz6099 2 місяці тому +3

    Thank you so much sir , I truly appreciate your advice as a man and telling the truth.Thank you for being an honest brother and for helping so many women to understand a man dynamic

  • @Selene0513
    @Selene0513 6 днів тому

    "People don't need to make a decision when something truly matters to them". - that hit hard 😢

  • @oneslice5059
    @oneslice5059 25 днів тому +8

    I NEEDED You and this years ago😏👍❗

  • @rachelmaddocks2618
    @rachelmaddocks2618 22 дні тому +1

    I noticed most of what you said early on intl the relationship, so I left. He didnt like that i left, he had no control over me. I wasn't excepting anything less than I deserved. It bruised his ego. He todate 2 years on still thinks he the best thing I had and he belives I will go back. I am happy alone free and doing my own thing. 😊

  • @jovimongchacha7234
    @jovimongchacha7234 3 місяці тому +4

    I am 52 and dated a guy a year, he was very nice n sweet and suddenly he ghosted me! Bumped into him after 2 months, he has to came to say hello but giving me a face like he didn't want to see me!! Damn it and now he is living across the street of my work place and also once in awhile i still bumped into him.. oh my god!!! Why is this happening to me!!!!

  • @vickyfleming7428
    @vickyfleming7428 Місяць тому +1

    Ive seen all of these and in early 2020 i said no more. I had to change and set my standards of what i am wiiling to accept and he certainly was no longer what i wanted nor prepared to put up with again. Thank you for validating my choices.

  • @carohJobz
    @carohJobz Місяць тому +5

    U just got a new subscriber.U r real🎉❤ kudos for the teachings

  • @DrCath
    @DrCath 3 місяці тому +10

    brilliant as usual 🙏

  • @pamelalanenaanderson
    @pamelalanenaanderson 2 місяці тому +6

    Definitely, not a priority, i pulled back my energy

  • @privateprivate8366
    @privateprivate8366 3 місяці тому +15

    Many years ago, my boss started chasing g me, out of the blue. We’d not even had a good working relationship. Other than the fact that I wouldn’t sleep with my married boss, I knew I had to get any romantic ideas out of my head, which wasn’t easy as, he was a very good looking, very sexy man and this chase went on, for about 4 years. But I had to consider he just wanted to use me. That he might’ve not been getting his needs met, at home and that, as a single, black woman, I might’ve been seen as low hanging fruit and a place for him to “put it”. That, even by the racial and body type difference, he could simply say I wasn’t even his type so, why would he even be looking at me? And, although this chase went on, for quite sometime and he either didn’t notice others were picking up on it or didn’t care, because he’d become company president, I knew it could simply be entitlement. Still, it would be using me and I knew he might fire me, for me complying, with the very thing he was asking for.

    • @amykru
      @amykru Місяць тому +1

      What a jerk. I'm glad you didn't fall for that b.s.

    • @privateprivate8366
      @privateprivate8366 Місяць тому

      @ it can be very easy to get caught up, when a man is smart, handsome, sexy, has a lot going for him and suddenly turns to you, like you’re the woman in the room. Even when it occurred to me he was probably thinking about or staring at me 👉🏽yep, he was. Turned into, “I haven’t seen her today.” Certainly made work life interesting, for a change.
      But, as much of a dreamy romantic as I am, I’m also a realist. Not only would I be hurting his family and myself., which was against my moral and work standards. But, no matter what would happen, he’d land on his feet and me on my a$$.

  • @HULovingLife
    @HULovingLife 2 місяці тому +5

    Thank you for your generous support of women all over the world. Your advise is spot on and I wish I heard it 40 years ago….

  • @Jeanne7774
    @Jeanne7774 Місяць тому +1

    Sign Number 1 was my situation. He sweet-talked me, and after doing it, I was shut away in another room all day for hours every day until it was time to either do it again or have breakfast and dinner and there was no conversation.

  • @jalqassar
    @jalqassar 2 місяці тому +12

    Thank you so much for this video and your expertise. With I could've found you when I was 16...18. I am now 74 😢. No one taught me or guided me. I was still a child at 14. So many young girls are like I was then. I wish I could talk to them.all. At 18, I tried to take my own life, because my fiancee wasn't really my fiancee. He had another girl he was marrying but lied to me to use me. Keep helping young girls and women. The world needs you.

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  2 місяці тому

      Glad the video was helpful to you.

    • @africanqueen5292
      @africanqueen5292 Місяць тому

      I'm so sorry you. You've been through so much 🥹🥹😢

  • @srikandiwarion1422
    @srikandiwarion1422 Місяць тому +3

    The most important things to identify some misleading relationship is to find consistency between their words and their actions, also make sure there's no one way traffic in the relationship. For sure give and take must be balance. If above stated never been performed, I suggest run....forrest...run😊😅

  • @oweber2160
    @oweber2160 3 місяці тому +4

    4:10 😂 totally disregarded her direct question he said let’s get to the chase of what your trying to ask without dwelling on the past & emotions. But spoken facts!!

    • @BunnyChik
      @BunnyChik Місяць тому

      TOTALLY interrupted her mid-sentence!! That's disrespectful!!

  • @shirleensabatino6593
    @shirleensabatino6593 Місяць тому +1

    ❤every single one-I ignored the signs-4 years-I finally had one too many “maybe!” I clearly clearly understood that I was pretty far down on the priority list ❤

  • @jazzgal51
    @jazzgal51 3 місяці тому +4

    Good stuff Ismael! Every bit is true!

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  3 місяці тому

      I appreciate the support. I’m glad the content resonates with you.

  • @katherinefields250
    @katherinefields250 Місяць тому +1

    Amen amen! This is true of both men and women actually. Not many set out to drive one crazy or make one’s life miserable. They just feel others out to see who is willing to suit their needs and desires. Some just go through life thinking about what’s in it for themselves and not the other party. Relationship are about give and take.

  • @AnnaMartins-dt5we
    @AnnaMartins-dt5we 3 місяці тому +7

    Very good advice!!
    Thank you for sharing.

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  3 місяці тому

      I’m happy to hear you found the advice valuable. Thank you.

  • @tahsinajahan1521
    @tahsinajahan1521 3 місяці тому +1

    Those you mentioned number 3 totally is my situation recently. I was so confused about him but now I am sure actually what his intention is!

  • @HULovingLife
    @HULovingLife 2 місяці тому +8

    Tell him to call a specialist 😂hahaha. Good one and True

  • @Michelle-rq1lw
    @Michelle-rq1lw 3 місяці тому +1

    Giving the test example, really helped to get a better understanding. I thought it was the case but the test gave more clearification. thanks for that.

  • @Nancy22102
    @Nancy22102 Місяць тому +2

    I met a decent distinguished man online. We introduced ourselves and started our convo. Then i noticed he would text early in tha morning @ 5am but throughout the day no text or call nothing until 1am. Once i picked up this pattern i just put him on blocked

  • @northshorelight35
    @northshorelight35 3 дні тому

    The last one is the most important because the vibes you get from him should never be confusing. A lot of people think he has to give you a lot of attention but that's untrue. Some people, like myself, don't always have things to say and enjoy silence. My husband and I don't always talk nor are we even in the same room. But he never gives me the vibe that it's over, or that he has other priorities, or that he is pulling away.

  • @theresasasiful
    @theresasasiful 2 місяці тому +3

    Im not his priority 😭 that hit to my heart 😢

  • @maureenbrown722
    @maureenbrown722 Місяць тому +1

    Well said and all true take note, and stick to what he says x

  • @christineribone9351
    @christineribone9351 2 місяці тому +8

    Just keep saying "NO" and see how badly he handles it..

    • @amykru
      @amykru Місяць тому +1

      No is my favorite word.

  • @msbarbados68
    @msbarbados68 Місяць тому +2

    I had all 5 and more in my last situationship, it was very difficult because I loved him so much but I finally summoned up enough courage to take the power and control he had over me back and dumped him. It is very recent, do I still love him yes, do I still miss him yes but am I going back to him HELL NO!

  • @JacintaSesar-x8j
    @JacintaSesar-x8j 2 місяці тому +5

    I don't need no one in my life ,🙏🙏🙏🙏🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️

  • @kristinat8298
    @kristinat8298 2 місяці тому +2

    If I start talking about me or my day, he zones out 😂 & he won't look up from his phone. I stopped talking and just disappear. Now I'm being accused of cheating 🤷‍♀️

  • @NabukkoJuliet-c7u
    @NabukkoJuliet-c7u 3 місяці тому +9

    Thank you Sir I have heard what I was wondering about him

  • @pinkglow1454
    @pinkglow1454 3 місяці тому +2

    Ismael, i came across your channel recently.Your words are absolutely right.

  • @lisaproustresearch
    @lisaproustresearch 2 місяці тому +7

    1) takes but does not give ( your energy, attention, body, money, etc)
    2) usage of "maybe" too often (maybe introduce you - maybe marry you - etc)
    People don't need much time to make a decision when it matters to them
    3) needs you as a therapist to solve his issues (one sided)
    4) points a "flaw" about you
    If someone cares about you, they appreciate not affect negatively your self esteem
    5) always "busy" - you are not a priority
    No one is THAT busy

  • @kiranasif4923
    @kiranasif4923 Місяць тому +1

    I had a relation with a guy having these same points 😏😏
    Thanks god we r no longer together ,i left him !!!
    And im happy now
    Wishing to get a guy in my life who is best for me

  • @rachellecaracut7513
    @rachellecaracut7513 Місяць тому +3

    He always doing this 5 things to me.

  • @angeldhope
    @angeldhope 11 днів тому

    Thank u for confirming me all this,,for 4 yrs,,all what u said are honestly happend to me. So I step back silently completely,,and for a month i find my peace and thanks God❤❤
    Thank u so much❤❤

  • @doraphillipp4219
    @doraphillipp4219 2 місяці тому +3

    My boyfriend always says he has to wotk 12 hr shifts to make money to fix his house and hasnt in over 2 yrs doesnt even have his bedroom set up lately he wasnt around for almost 3 weeks says hes working 12 hr shifts and barely calls and when he does has nothing to say barely texts me only wants to come around when he wants intimacy and been cutting me down saying i dont do this or that i cant take no more his whole attitude about anything has changed accusing me of cheating when im not i want to leave this so called relationship not happy anymore doesnt stand up for me at all especiallly to his dad that he let degrade me in front of their whole family for no reason he keeps telling me he will talk to his dad about what he did to me wasnt right that was 7 months ago and still hasnt stood up for me i cant keep living like this all this so called money he supposly making workin 12 hr shifts everyday supposly his choice he has nothing to show for all this money i dont believe hes workin 12 hr shifts everyday and their different shifts his whole attitude has changed and not for the good i truly believe their is someone else his phone is always locked

    • @CJR434
      @CJR434 29 днів тому

      Leave him

  • @elliesaailem777
    @elliesaailem777 28 днів тому

    When you point this out to them, they call you names and gaslight. It's crazy. I end up feeling like I'm living in the twighlight zone

  • @kadynstrans8362
    @kadynstrans8362 Місяць тому +6

    Number one and five just happen with me.

  • @katherineskrzynecki3347
    @katherineskrzynecki3347 Місяць тому

    Thank-you, so much!
    I have been in some of those relationships and have ended them only too late! Yet, I always realize MY mistake, and, not repeat it again!

  • @joannejoanne7816
    @joannejoanne7816 2 місяці тому +3

    WowThose are some good ones that i've never heard anyone cover

    • @SaveTheMessenger
      @SaveTheMessenger  2 місяці тому +1

      Glad you found the points helpful and unique.

  • @susanalvarez3859
    @susanalvarez3859 2 місяці тому +1

    BIG THANKS FOR THESE Points To Ponder, THANK YOU ISMAEL…👏👏👏

  • @Seaturtle098
    @Seaturtle098 3 місяці тому +10

    How about you make a video on attachment styles? And ofc something to help detach.
    I have been in love with a guy for 6 years now. Haven't seen him in 4 years. I think it's in my head. Can you relate?

    • @Hadassahtexas
      @Hadassahtexas 3 місяці тому +2

      If you haven't seen him in four years, he has moved on. I encourage you to move on , as well. Sometimes, it is hard to get over a guy because they seem perfect but they really aren't. Best wishes. The more you have been in love, the easier it is to get over a man. 😁

    • @Seaturtle098
      @Seaturtle098 3 місяці тому +1

      @@Hadassahtexas thank you, but I have different situation. It was an unrequited love from my side. Nothing happened between us. He doesn't know anything.
      But you being in love with him has protected me from falling for other guys. I am focused in everything. No boy drama. LoL but this isn't healthy, tho I like this.

  • @tiffanyrose9026
    @tiffanyrose9026 4 дні тому

    Confirming what I felt and knew but thank you I needed to hear it from a man who isn’t bullshitting me

  • @reachlove6779
    @reachlove6779 11 днів тому

    Plan and simple. When a man loves a woman. He doesn’t hesitate to make sure she’s happy and well taken care of .
    I’m grateful to have been able to experience what genuine love feels like. 👍
    I might never find someone who loved me as much as someone did in this lifetime.
    I’m forever grateful to that man who loved me unconscionably.
    Thank you ❤