Why is Getting a Wife So Expensive For Chinese Men? - Intermediate Chinese - Chinese Conversation
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Marriage is primarily about love and two soulmates deciding to share their lives together. Or is it?
In Chinese culture, money plays a significant role in many marriages. In this podcast, Eileen and Kirk examine this Chinese phenomenon and give their personal opinions on how this focus on money is affecting young people’s attitude towards love, marriage and life.
This is a great listening practice audio / video podcast for Chinese intermediates. Also, the large, clear pinyin and English subtitles will help elementary beginners and lower intermediates more easily understand the content.
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I am attending the wedding of a Chinese colleague this weekend (in Asia). My thinking about the wedding has certainly expanded because of this great video. The real value of Mandarin Corner goes beyond Chinese language itself. Like cultural artefacts, Mandarin Corner podcasts have value beyond just the words and sentences. There are so many interesting things to consider at multiple levels.
This video was very informative. I am blessed to be in a great relationship with a girl from southern China. She grew up around the villager mentality and is very open minded when it comes to things. When we were together in the UK, she always went the extra mile for me and l deeply respect that. I am also a believer in marriage despite the negative stigma. As a Scottish male, l don't mind taking on more responsibility if that leads to marriage. It gives me joy that l have more purpose in my life to work towards and l hope to meet her family at some point. She inspires me to be a better man everyday.
This is like listening to a real conversation and learning the language and culture all at the same time, brilliant format.
I am a women and I will never understand women who simply want to marry for the money. Love is the only thing you can't buy and it is the greatest feeling in the world. Having a partner that supports you simply by being with you together in every situation in life and you are the same thing for him, what greater thing you can have in life?
Well, money apparently for them haha. I agree with you tho
Have you ever considered that you're financially independent and some of these women who marry for money aren't? Some are just straight up lazy and don't wanna do anything difficult so marry a rich guy and get the same result as working hard. Some might be from a poor background and didn't get much opportunities. Some might just be greedy or insecure so wants financially stability in a husband.
Women in general are much more vulnerable due to childbirth, even women with high degrees take a significant hit because of childbirth and kids. It actually makes sense to worry about safety.
The other thing I want to add, because girls are a "rare good" now, their families may be greedy and abuse this fact... Just my opinion.
Maybe they are dead inside and just care about shallow temporary things
"他家里还有一只狗啊 - he has a dog! "
that was hilarious... I share this guy's priorities lmao
Kirk, has started his own UA-cam Channel! You might want to check it out and say hi!:
PunchPalPan: ua-cam.com/video/joJYwTcsmuM/v-deo.html
Excellent video as always, such a big variety of topics with great points made on all sides ! I wish 1% on UA-cam was this good, and this is "only" a language learning channel... Outstanding, thank you !
I think the big problem with China is that older people don't have a retirement plan and hence are highly dependent on the support of their childs. Probably introducing some type of retirement plan will help to release the pressure on young mens and will eventually help to get ride of all these harmfull traditions.
Just the other day my girlfriend (chinese) was told by her 阿姨 that she should find another man who has a lot of money, and her mother also agreed. One man she recommended to my gf owned several houses and had a lot of money, but she refused to even meet with him 🥰🥰
I was disgusted by 阿姨‘s words and a bit insulted that her mother also agreed. I’m still disgusted with 阿姨, but now I think I know the reason.
My girlfriend said that while modern China has progressed significantly since its formation in 1949, the middle-aged and elderly people have yet to catch up with the modern world
I LOVE this format, it’s so so useful and I hope you can do more :)
I have 2 suggestions, one is that you either release it as an actual podcast or make it easier to download the MP3 so I can listen to it without going to UA-cam.
The second is that as a subscriber I have access to the transcripts but I would much rather have all the text in Chinese together rather than each sentence separately with the pinyin and translations. Maybe you could consider putting that in the pdf also in future? I don’t like having the pinyin and translation too easy to refer to as it makes me lazy! 😅
Hi Miranda K,
1) you can go to our website and check out all our audio podcasts on this page: mandarincorner.org/audio-podcast/
2) if you become a supporter ($10 one-time donation) you can download all our videos" mp3 files
3) Again, if you become a supporter, you can listen to our videos' audio files with transcripts, including *JUST hanzi* transcripts. You can directly copy and past the transcripts. Our *Listen to Audio with Transcripts* are found here:mandarincorner.org/listen-to-audio-with-transcript/
@@MandarinCorner2 I still don't see where is just the Chinese text without anything else.
This is an effective way of learning Mandarin. 谢谢
Thank you mandarin corner very informative..
Just want to share a different perspective from Vietnam. These Vietnamese wives mentioned are more likely to be victims of human trafficking than go there volunteerily. I have read many articles about Vietnamese women who thought they were going to find a job in China but were sold to be a wife. Of course they and their family did not receive any of the money. Imagine being trapped so far from home and not knowing the language to ask for help. I believe it's much worse that "losing" a 100,000 yuan wife. That's why they ran away. I don't think any of the women actively participated in this and ran so they could sell themselves again.
老师谢谢。你的教是真厉害。
really interesting material , godd for practise !!!
Waiting the next video. Tks
我觉得大部分年轻人跟这个风俗有摩擦，它会自然地改变，因为他们的小时候跟前辈是不一样的，他们小孩长大以后，他们不会把那种幸福的定义传下来，社会就是这样改变的
其实，80，90后跟上一代人的思想已经有很大的差异，所以很容易产生家庭矛盾。但大多数年轻人都被迫接受，只有少数很坚定的人会选择做自己，不顾家人和社会的想法或批判。
I believe in love too 😘
Moral of the story; there is no such thing called love, women=money 4 identical letters!
Because that i know a lot of chinese people unhappy and getting divorce, or finding a lover.
1:40
Conservative culture sometime not good.
To married is for the rich people. The life is very expensive everywhere. Is to much responsibility for one man
Xie xie! From 🇦🇺
这不是您之前要付款的，而是您之后要付款的。
Feel pity for the chinese men. To work harder to save money for wife to be and parents inlaw expectation but maybe not all like that. Maybe there is also didn’t matter material things. Women still prepare respect and value true love.
The view in this video is very extreme. For instance, those who get a wife from Vietnam illegally are usually from extremely poor and rural area. In China most people marry for love, just as any country in the world. Many young people are reluctant to get married and give birth to babies because people want more freedom.
Wrong, Chinese marriage is linked with money, most people's marriage is just money transactions, there are few feelings
@@打倒中华人民共和国伪not really for the younger generation
Completely love this type of video! Not just because of these splendid subtitles but because you can listen to the problems of Chinese from Chinese themselves, not from some people who travel or work in China, it's especially interesting.
Agreed.
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Thank you so much
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When I saw Hailey's videos (american in taiwan). I noticed some interesting facts: the words choice that she use is different than the words choice used by native Chinese. I think it because she think in English and then translate it to Chinese. I think this knowledge can be used to develop teaching materials for students that speak English. It will make them easier & faster to learn Chinese. What do you think?
You are superwomen, actually. How much time and effort you had put to make these video. So impressive
The threat to kill herself from the parent is always a classic one 😂 I think one way of breaking this custom is for the children to be brave and let they decide their own future. No parent will be able to disown their children! Thanks for the great podcast btw, keep it up more in the future!
Yes!
That was a surprisingly frank and sophisticated talk, thanks to both of you it was excellent
Who "gets" a wife? This makes it sound like women sit on a mall shelf waiting to be picked up by desperate men.
Thank you for this video it very helpful and I like this type of video have pin yin , Han zi and eng sub😁😁💯 percent like it.
在我国家这样的问题也发生了。可能是东欧国家的传统对婚姻概念差不多的吧。但你们讨论的那些情况真让我思考而得到了很多文化知识。真是个好的频道。谢谢你们两位🙏👍
不是东欧是东亚吧
@@gokkkT 恩恩，写错了
Watch video without English subtitles: mandarincorner.org/why-is-getting-a-wife-so-expensive-for-chinese-men-no-english/
I am a Chinese, I agree with some views but don't agree with some views, Chinese society is reality is now regards money that's true, but the key is the overall social impose these pressures are on the men's side, this is not correct, women like money is very good, but women can earn money for yourself, rather than to go through to get squeezed men
我是中国人，有些观点我同意但有些观点不同意，现在中国社会很现实很看重金钱这是正确的，但是问题关键是整体社会把这些压力都强加在男性的一方，这是不正确的，女性喜欢钱也很好，但女性可以自己去挣钱，而不是去通过要求压榨男性从而获得
*Other Kirk Videos*
Does China Have Sex Education?
ua-cam.com/video/7Y6WMlSlFBs/v-deo.html
Why is Getting a Wife So Expensive For Chinese Men?
ua-cam.com/video/jZ3_M9TkCX4/v-deo.html
Are Chinese Parents Control Freaks?
ua-cam.com/video/QLMp_yuwd_I/v-deo.html
Stereotypes Chinese Have of Foreigners
ua-cam.com/video/YSwgyuUO2cU/v-deo.html
Differences Between Northern And Southern Chinese
ua-cam.com/video/oqJny9Qze3k/v-deo.html
I think this is where I’ll stay to keep my Chinese alive. Left China a year ago and I feel like my Chinese is leaving me gradually
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The Chinese instruction is excellent. The content is depressing. I'm a university English teacher in China and my students are pretty obsessed with "love." Seems like in the real world that doesn't matter much here.
Demand and supply i guess
我很喜欢你的视频
There's also the phenomenon of the kidnappings of little girls from big city to villages by villagers who have little boys. The goal is to bring her up and marry her to a boy from their village. They will marry their son to another kidnapped girl of another household in the same or a nearby village. It's scary stuff😢
I like the way the guest talks openly about his opinion. Really imformative and helpful. Ive learned a lot if vocab.
This is not just in China. This is in every country, and concerns everyone. It's only been 50 to 60 years that we've started talking about love in a marriage, the reason is because marriage was never about love, and the last 50-60 years have been about female (financial and sexual) liberation. Before that, people always married for financial convenience, it was always a contract, and never a question. A contract in which the woman gets resources (= money) and security in exchange for sexual access and paternity certainty (= knowing that a child is his father's and not some other man's). It was never a question : he gets bedroom fun, he marries for that, and she gets money, she marries for that. The only thing that has changed, nowadays is that now people like to bring in "love", as an excuse for breaking that contract, and love doesn't make marriages last ; however now breaking that contract has become easier and women are incenticized to end them, at least in the West.
That's what marriage always has been, that's still what it is despite what society wants everyone to believe. Divorces happen all the time nowadays because either one party doesn't hold up their end of that contract. I'll let everyone look up who initiates divorces more.
Would be nice to see some statistics for the amount of dowry for different areas in China
I am an American man with a chinese girlfriend. So I am learning all I can from you in both language and culture. I find many aspects you have discussed very interesting. In the USA there is no demand for a dowery or owning a car or house for marriage. Of course each family is different. I agree with you that if the traditions are making both men and women unhappy that a change should be made. It takes a whole society to create such changes. Don’t give up on love, this is my belief. Thank you for such a great lesson and your views expressed.
The bride on the cover photo for this video has bad teeth, but I suppose one with good teeth costs more than this man can afford. I wonder if he asked for a discount.
I disagree although I accept it for what it is. Until the Chinese in China change their traditions it'll continue to go on. No one can afford such an expensive marriage unless you have so many relatives support you financially.
hahaha,how lucky the parents having a daugher,for theyre just waiting the harvest season, pity for the guy doesnt have lot of money,hope many relative to support .after watching this video ,i feel sad,women is just a sex thing for men they can afford an hour of having sex, but cant afford to get one who will be with them for a lifetime ,coz of not having a huge money.
Very sad that that most Chinese parents have the mentality that only money can give their children happiness.
When ever I listen to u, I remember my time in qingdao
Kors all da woman got kill at birff. Eg female infanticide so shortage of females.
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Great conversation! Deep exchange. Learned a lot new vocabularies. Thanks!
谢谢，你不是老师你是老师的老师
I'm a 32 y/o gay male from the US and lived in Shanghai for a year. I met a great guy who was originally from a village and he told me about all the struggles in this video but he also told me about how hard it was for gay people in China. He even showed me websites where gay people would have a fake marriage just to please their parents while living seperate lives with their partners. Some gay men even married straight women and paid them huge amounts of money a month to keep up appearances. But he told me about some stories where these women would threaten to tell the mans family he was gay if he didn't buy her this or that. I could see the panic in his eyes when he explained all this because I knew he was trying to figure out what to do with his life and keep up the tradition. We actually had strong feelings for each other but I think the pressure of society was too much for him - he came to me one day and said he got an offer to go to Korea for some schooling/job and he struggled with the decision but I think he wanted to be free from the pressure of his family to get married. By having to learn Korean, study, and then find work, he could tell them he was too busy to find a wife. He left a month later. I was always a littler bitter about the pressure on him because we both were a great match for each other and he was a great guy. I would do anything for him and could tell he'd do the same for me and I thought we might have a future but in a way I understood because in reality, this mindset was in America up until about the 1970s until everyone rebelled against it. Thanks for videos like this! Perfect level for me and I love these topic videos. So fascinating!
Thank you for sharing! 😊
Great video, Eileen. Do you remember that cute song that came out several years ago in which Chinese women sang lines like, "Ni meiyou che, ni meiyou fang; bye syang ba mei nyu pao shang ch'uang." If you don't have a car, you don't have a house, don't expect to get a beautiful woman into your bed. It was done in a cute way, sung by many different girls.
I remember that song. That was shocking even for a Chinese to hear.
In the west the pinnacle or should I say nadir of that messaging was Material Girl by madonna, and we see how that has gone
Exactly this video it’s very good it’s true.. I life in China 🇨🇳 and its like that
我是越南人
Your video not only helps me practicing mandarin, but also expanding my knowledge about chinese culture.
Thank you so much !
Please keep doing more videos like this! As a Chinese American, it’s so interesting being able to improve my Chinese while listening to discussion of the problems that my parents’ home country experiences
this is the real a real kind of real conversation between chinese
That's why there are so many left-over women there. Men cant afford the dowry.
Wow! There is so much pressure from parents on young Chinese!
Excellent video! Thank you Eileen! Hanzi, pinyin subtitles, the topic is of universal concern with chinese facts, traditions and contradictions. It is a pitty it was not filmed though. Any reason? I understand those you listed but still many learners will enjoy the dialogue around a nice typical chinese setting in a park or bar...
好可惜的事情。最好我是加拿大人。大家都知道人需要錢可是什麼錢都不一定買到開心的生活
I’m Italian I had recently said goodbye to my Chinese boyfriend ( 56) This video help me very much to understand a lot of things about your culture and about this man ...
Anyway no regrets ...even if I really loved him
i AM iNDIAN AND RESIDE IN VIENNA. WHEN STUDIED AT VIENNA UNIVERSITY, DID EXTREMELY WELL AND SPECIALLY IN MATHEMATICS. IN MY CLASS I HAD ONE CHINESE GIRL WHO HAD PROBLEM IN GERMAN, I HELPED HER. SHE PROPOSED ME. I COULD NOT ACCEPT IT. REASON IS THEIR LOOKS IS NOT MY CHOICE. SHE GOT VERY DISAPPOINTED, BUT I HAD NO CHOICE.
He died?
@@mozart4128 Caps lock off
Over per te
Gosh, that's depressing.
Great deep convo thanks for sharing!
Any white earthlings here? I have a lot to say about this topic. You would be wise to talk to me about this.
Thankful for your great approach to language with cultural aspects. It’s indeed an awesome content and obviously effective to a learner like me who usually got bored with old school techniques.
Thank you very much for such a deep discussion on the topic. I really like the video clips when you discuss with guests about different contemporary matters in China. I am from Vietnam. One of my relatives was kidnapped about nearly 25 years ago when she was young. She was forced to marry a guy from a rural area in Guangdong province. She was only released to visit home after nearly 20 years later after giving birth to 2 kids to that guy. She was not allowed to bring the kids along as the husband’s family feared that she would not return to China. When she returned, her father had passed away, she almost couldn’t speak Vietnamese fluently after such a long time. It was a pain to the family and forever my phobia. After her missing, I was very scared of going out alone when I was small. Currently, there are still similar cases announced on the TV and Internet though they are less compared to 20 yrs ago. I think the gender discrimination which is the consequence of Confucius teaching is one of the reason for human trafficking in this area.
What a well rounded view on such an emotionally loaded topic, 我觉得一边学中文一边听很有意思的观点很棒
China: "People struggle to form a family"
Also China: * 1,455,901,459 population. *
I do respect different tradition culture of every countries
But for me as a Filipino-Chinese woman,for me if I’ll
Be ask about this topic
I can say that money or material things is not as well a requirement for me for a man any nationality especially if their culture or tradition have certain rules or requirements in order for them to get married or to find a partner to be
Cause I believe marriage is sacred and it’s composed of two individuals who have the same interests intentions and have both love each other genuinely honestly sincerely and unconditionally
Where money or material possessions is not the main requirements for their marriage
But TRUE LOVE will be the main reason of planning wanting and deciding to settle down and have a family 😊❤❤❤
This young man is 🔥🔥🔥🔥 it's sad when money rules everything. People will adapt or find alternatives 🤔💭
Thank you that was really interesting.
Your videos are always so interesting! Thank you for the care and thought that you put into them!
It’s stupid to hate women but the thing about cheaper to go find prostitute than their potential marriage is totally reasonable. I think there are plenty of girls who you can enjoy life without breaking your bank, but if given their offered stupid marriage I would rather choose prostitute.
Thank you for uploading videos always it's really have great impact.💯
This videos are amazing to learn Chinese from the cultural perspective. But girls are important too, don’t be mistaken..
Very underrated video. I hope the Chinese government and Chinese society restores value in Chinese women.
Mazen Alhoweig Garments 👖 China Yiwu city
Hey Eileen good video. I really like the topics you cover. By the way the gentleman who is interacting with you.
I think he has got a great personality and I do like his views on life . You make a lovely bunch and it is very much appreciated to realise that you are also raising very important issues through these "educational" videos . Meaning of life, boredom, self centered and interested people and . So your videos are aimed at a very large audience. keep up the good work. You are welcome to france any time when you get a chance. Ian
This is not uniquely a chinese problem. Women in general are a costly pursuit.
Hi, i've been watching your videos and it is really educative. You provide high quality conversations in mandarin about important topics really intrigued me. I'm really grateful to be able to watch your videos, i felt everyday my chinese is slowly improving 😊. Thank you for the amazing content.😆
Having live in China for 3 years, I realized one thing, - money matters more than human's personality , it's pity that so.
Only for their wives to cheat on them with foreign guys like me. Dang.
我爱上了这种视频拍的方法！不仅学习语言而中国的文化，还有呢这就是中国人的自然的交流，非常棒！
Leaving one for the algorithm, hope you go big!
I really like the guy you were talking to
70yrs. Later still paying. I love mine. She in the room.
it is sooooo sad
"Basically, being able to eat is very important!"
Who knew???
hahaha, the best coment...
Great video, great topic, fantastic as usual. I had a cultural shock when I first came across the reality of arranged marriages, blind dates, and the whole finding your significant other in the Middle Kingdom
I'M SO HAPPY
I like this kind of videoes best and the topics they deal with. Please do more of them in the future 谢谢您
Wow, this video was full with surprises. I learn a lot, thank you!
Another superb content from my favorite lao shi. 我个人觉得，这些问题也不只是在中国才会发生吧。 一般来说女生在寻找适合的对方都会看中对方的经济能力。没办法，这也算是自然律吧。只不过可能在中国这现象会比较严重一点咯。 尤其是上一代的一个孩子规则。造成了这一代的男女频率不平衡。这样的情况实在令我对很多中国汉子感到遗憾。希望随着中国在各方面的发展， 社会观念也会改变。
这个的主题还挺有意思的，你们能不能跟这个主题一样多做吗？谢谢！
以后还会继续做播客的。