5 Thing I Wish My New Bride Had Understood About Me
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
- These are a few things that I wish that my new wife had understood about me in particular, or men, in general, when we got married. I understand this is one-sided. But she is making a video of her own from her point of view. Five things she wishes I understood about her. So many things about marriage are just not understood when young people first start out. And we’re hoping to help with that in some small way.
She has a new UA-cam channel of her own, so I strongly encourage you to go over and check that out. That is where she is going to start putting out videos from her side of things.
/ @drycreekmomma
We have a Rumble channel now, I’m using that mostly to discuss things that UA-cam does not like. Things like pipes and cigars and firearms.
rumble.com/acc...
You can visit our website here:
drycreekwrangl...
If you wish to support this and future videos, please consider supporting me on Patreon.
/ drycreekwrangler
Make sure you follow the link in the description over to Momma’s new channel, and get her side of things as well😊
You help me out so much Dwayne, thank you
Just subscribed to her channel
Watched Momma’s videos and yours. Awesome advice and thank you both!
Question to help us viewers take action with your advice: What type of action did each of you take to apply this knowledge towards the relationship?
Trust & Believe, I ran over and Subscribed to Momma's channel...like a teenager in a truck on a gravel road 😳😆💕
I happened to see Momma's video on this subject 1st...I appreciate you both.
Every day my husband comes home. He is a business owner lots of mental and physical work. He crashes on the sofa 30 min to an hour. No talking nothing. I give him this time to decompress and recharge. He needs this time. I work from home full time. I am alone everyday and I am so glad when he comes home but I give him his alone time as he needs it to recharge. He’s a better husband when he gets this. Our marriage is better because I understand that he needs this.
Yeah I definitely did not do that. Now that I’m divorced, I see all I did wrong, but it’s too late. I remember thinking “how could he not come home and have missed us at work?” The babies would run up to him and he’d love on them briefly, but me? No, just “what’s up” and that hurt me- so I remember purposely going to the kitchen or bathroom when I’d hear the car, so I’d avoid him. He’d crash on the couch and fall asleep right away. Why couldn’t I just have caught the drift?? I seriously thought it was something against me… he was just tired.
@@priscillavelazquezsthat’s it… we are just tired. Even me living alone when I come home, I sometimes just crash and nap for an hour or so. As men, we can seriously go a whole weekend not talking to anyone and we’d be just fine. We can get along with so little talking. So an hour to decompress is, in my opinion, not a lot to ask.
@@thecapone45 yes, it happens. My kids are teens and see their dad on the weekend, and although the family dynamics no longer include me, the kids still say, “daddy is so tired so we didn’t do much” but they still love to go see him and I’m so glad.
You are great human being, be patient and you gone get what you deserve 🙏🏼
But after the hour of decompression would he be affectionate?
"A lot of young men will not become respectable until he's treated with respect. He will like that feeling of being respected to the point that over time if given the opportunity, he will mature and grow into that"
This is a quote I'm telling my son
Starting to realize how true this is as a young 23 year old man
Life is tough, you won't be treated with respect. You have to be a man and be able to carry on even when you feel down. Anyplace you go to work you will run into confrontation or have to work with people you don't like, non of them will treat you with respect so it's up to you. This guy can talk bro we are all just grown stupid kids non of us are wise.
@@DankTank374 ???
@@DankTank374 my point is - I was never given respect my whole life bc I didn't take anything seriously - and it led to me expecting that of myself - expecting low standards. Once I started working my ass off, doing my best, in the jobs I've had from food to manual labor to office work, I started to earn the respect of people in those endeavors - and accordingly I identified myself as someone worthy of said respect - and expected more of myself. It's all cyclical. You have to earn a little, give a little, and when given a little, you must internalize it. Now I could be naive here, but it's the truth of my life experience as someone without a dad who ever gave respect
@@DankTank374 I'm sorry if in your case no one you ever worked with treated you with respect, seems like it may be time to change work or improve your attitude lol
@@Ian-vh2vv No that feels wrong. Getting respected for what you do. It's important getting respected for who you are. And depending on who you are, you always are a burden in some peoples eyes. You will never get the respect from everyone.
But in my experience, growing out a beard and caring about it, being calm and only speak when necessary, gains a lot of respect and as the bible says, even a fool who keeps his mouth shut is seen as wise.
If you are a respectable person, your deeds will only be a fruit of it. But you can never be respected for what you do, especially if you do it to gain respect. You get your chef to like you when you work hard for him for low wage. But by your coworkers you are then seen as someone who gets exploited and setting unrealistic standards to them.
Or maybe this is all hogwash.
Is respect even relevant? In the end it matters if a man believes in Jesus Christ for salvation of his soul or not. In the end, everyone will be evil and those who keep their faith in Christ will be persecuted and hated for it. Respect of humans is a waste of time, to be accepted by a society which is incredibly sick, is vanity.
1. Men react differently
Women are more emotional
2. Give men respect and they will become respectable
3. Sex is extremely important for men and they get turned on very easily.
4. Men need time to cool off, relax and turn off their thoughts sometimes.
5. Men want their wives to take decisions about the household
Why is sex always their top priority. It feels like an excuse as to why all of them are cheating deadbeats.
Sex is very important to some women too. My marriage was sexless (not by me as i wanted it and still do but haven’t found a man who wanted it). Its a myth that only men want it and that women are more emotional.
As a married young man, only 24. Working construction as well.
This entire video is a spitting image of my entire marriage. We got a 5 month old baby, wife stays at home and I work 10 hours a day 6 days a week.
The second I finished this video I said oh my God finally a video that is almost speaking so damn well about me and I showed It to my wife and it was eye opening.
Thank you man!
You're doing great 👑. Setting up a great example for your child to follow later.
My thoughts exactly!!!
Wishing your young family so many blessings.
That’s 2 of us man, also work as a carpenter to put food on the table for my family i got a 2yo and a 3 yo girls.
10 hours a day. Good man!
I might add: don’t talk about your sex life to friends or strangers. Don’t bring that outside energy into your relationship. Don’t expose yourself or your spouse in your most vulnerable moments like that.
Thank you for that!
I hear so many people talk reeaally openly and explicitly about their sex life and it's just so so demeaning. Enjoy your partner, but keep it uniquely special to the both of you by letting it remain private.. For their sake and ours. x)
Great addition. Incredibly valuable point here I'd suggest to everybody
I'm so happy I learned this so early. I was too excited over losing my virginity to my man and started talking about a friend of mine about our sex life. Found out later she was making jokes about our private life with her friends because "you were so open with it I thought it was ok". Never again. It felt so demeaning and I was ashamed that I also exposed my partner to that. The only thing I tell others now are if we have dates scheduled so I will be busy those days
This is absolutely bang on. If other people want to know about that stuff they should have been there. If they weren't, it's not their business to know. Wish everyone did this
I absolutely 100 percent agree with you!!!! When you truly love your spouse your love life is yours too share with each other, not to openly talk freely about your sex life to others and I don't care if it's too your other best friend outside of your relationship,,,, meaning like if you're a man don't talk your sex life with your wife to your guy friend just because he's a friend,,,same for a woman... I do not have respect for someone who can do that in front of or around there spouses back... I call that shit talk and I don't tolerate it!!!! I get asked if I'm scared to show my true love feelings to my wife in public because some people think if you truly love your spouse you shouldn't be scared to show it in front of others,. Like holding hands or kisses in front of others or in public,,, my reply is, my wife knows I love her what I do for her,,, I don't have to make a show of it... Those who have to make a show of it in my perspective are the ones who love each other the least...
EVERY high school student, male and female need a semester on this subject with Dwayne & Momma as the instructors via these videos.
As a young wife of 6 years - everything you’re saying is true for my husband. And it’s taken us 6 years to realize these things
If you have a traditional marriage he’s right on the money. I can’t imagine how marriage works these days. Men are here to be needed if you destroy that, good luck. You’ll Be a fish with a bicycle then.
If it only took you six years then you’re doing great; a fast learner 👍🏼
Decompressing and recharging via alone time after a long day is so, so important. As a woman on the autism spectrum, I innately understand the brain’s need to digest the huge backlog of sensory overload, stressors and decisions from the day, and have some quiet time, or else I can actually get sick if I don’t take that time to rest. Asking for what you need and explaining calmly why you need it is an important skill in any relationship.
me too! autism and ptsd i need time alone start and end of day
You married?
@@Cutelittlecountrygirl Amen! I love your name! Birdie ❤️
I agree, Im an Autistic male, and once my wife and I realised how much I need to rest, we both forced myself to rest (I'm a workaholic). Once well rested I found that I was even more efficient and capable of doing more work than ever. Sometimes finishing a work week by Wednesday. Stay strong Smart People!!!
Can you direct me to a book or website to explain more about that? I have a loved one who might be slightly on that spectrum and want to understand that better .
Everyone wants to be treated with respect. Marriage is a give and take. Going into marriage and continuing to think single will end up with you being single. It takes the utmost from both to make it work. Married 48 years.
@@Hotshot1989 have you discussed this? Do you know the reason you say she disrespects you? Don't make the mistake of thinking she should give respect like an employee.
I want to get engaged right after I turn 19 after dating for two years. She’s been ready and I’m slowly getting there. What advice could you give me?
@@gavinweyant5777 For what it's worth here are my best 2 cents of the moment.
Always remember and never forget: You'll almost never have 💯% of the information you think you'll need to make critical decisions like who to marry, where to live, what kind of work to do.
Trust your own good judgement and make the best call you can.
Even the most sophisticated on-board computer of the most advanced jet aircraft of the 21st century needs to constantly check and recheck with the GPS satellite systems now in place above the Earth.
So...your allowed to breathe and swallow before you take your own particular "leaps of faith.'
Just remember to keep breathing.
You'll do fine.
Something for young men to remember about their "I don't want to think right now" moments, is that women have them too, but because of the ways our lives are traditionally structured, we don't often get that luxury. Even with housewives. If the house is her "domain" and she's in charge of everything, she never gets to leave and go to a place where she gets to stop making decisions. So, be very careful with how and where you take your "time to not think", because the reality is that you're a team, and it's not fair to just attribute the fact that she always has "100 windows open", to that just being "the way women are". No, that's the burden women have always been taught to carry. Remember to have empathy and understanding for this. If you're her rock, be sure to recognize that how much you're willing to acknowledge about her reality is a big part of whether or not she feels like you see, understand, and care about her.
I Appreciate this alot. Something i needed to think about. ! Thanks.
Yes.
I could not have said this better myself. You have such a good way of putting things :)
Yes, thank you!
Sage input! Thank you for sharing.
I come from a family of huggers and kissers. Boys do cry and it is very healthy for men to have emotions. Holding emotions in is not healthy. Communicating what’s going on in the head is best.
Sometimes I’m the tender hearted one and sometimes my husband is. And yes. It is extremely important to treat our husband’s with respect. ❤
Congratulations, you married a woman.
@@flammenwaffenfries3039 - I don’t understand your comment. I AM a woman. I married my husband who is a man. I’m speaking of my upbringing growing up as a child in my family. You must have misunderstood me.
@@kabernat No. You said your husband has emotions and shows them and that makes him a "woman" in some men's eyes. As a strong woman myself, I would not marry a man who was very emotional. I dropped one boyfriend for that; felt like I was with a wuss. I want my husband to be strong in all ways. If something really tears me up and I am crying, what is him standing beside me crying going to help? Should I lean on his soggy shoulder? My husband is a real man. He is there to comfort me when something goes terribly wrong and be the strength I lack at that moment. Men need to get back to being MEN and not wimps that their womens libbers mothers made them into.
@@catedennis41 - I said…..it is very healthy for MEN to have emotions:.
I was making a statement that it is okay for MEN and BOYS to have emotions.
I never said this is MY HUSBAND. You made an ASSUMPTION that I was talking about MY HUSBAND.
So, when YOU said “Congratulations, I married a WOMAN, was OFFENSIVE to ME.
Make sense to you now?
As a woman I struggle with the touchy feelly stuff too. I come from the mid-west where it is a different world compared to the coasts. I like to take out my emotions out on my sewing machine and quilting. My husband is an east coast gentlemen where he and his family are very verbal. Needless to say we all has to adjust to make our 22 year marriage work this long. Nothing in this world is easy it takes work and compromise on both sides.
Thats what they all say
An old friend used to talk about men focusing on “killing the buffalo.” Where women want to figure out what spices you are going to need, how your going to cook it, what salad you are going to need and what is in the salad. The side dishes that go well with the buffalo, and what wine pairs best. Meanwhile it doesn’t matter until you kill the buffalo.
I’ve been sending these to my recently engaged daughter in hopes that she doesn’t make the same mistakes her mother and I made.
Or you have a woman like I had that didn't help you kill the buffalo, or clean it, or cook it, or make the side dishes. Then after enjoying my bountiful harvest and hard work, she shows no appreciation...
@Kevin Moyer in his video he said to give respect to have it returned. Maybe show her that you appreciate what she does/contribute and start from there. Have a good day Sir!
@@kevinmoyer6224 she wasn't the right one broski
@@Vomvomvomvomvom ur tellin me....
@@kevinmoyer6224 Sounds like she still has control of your mind. Good luck.
My boyfriend is so much like my dad who passed away and I’m not sure if that what attracted me to him. He always does for others that’s his heart and I love him for it. He is a country boy and I always considered myself a country girl until I met him he thinks I’m a city girl which cracks me up every time I literally say it out loud. I feel like these are really helpful tips because I know that we’re gonna get married and I know he’s a man of my dreams❤❤
My dad traveled for 2 weeks at a time ad when he got home all he wanted was a home cooked meal. Mom had been at home with us kids, making us meals, doing house stuff - all she wanted to do is go out to dinner.I can recall many a Friday evening that started with a tense time as we all piled into the car and headed for the restaurant. I think dad simply decided that it was easier to put off that home cooked meal for just one more night. Tomorrow night mom would cook and put on a great spread for family dinner
Just one of the sacrifices your parents made for you.
Dwayne, I am glad to see your channel growing so quickly. The sooner the world returns to the world you came, from the sooner we will all find peace.
I grew up in a none hugging type family. Don't ever remember being told, "I love you".
Well, kind of a funny story but my older and younger sister put their foot down and told me and my dad after a phone call that from now on we had to say I love you and we had to hug at family reunions. My response was bullshit, you can't make me do that.
Long story short, they eventually wore us down and we got comfortable doing it. Good on 'em
Married for 22 years. Have 5 sons. My wife stayed at home too. Definitely walked some of the same earth as you. Same tribulations too. Always nice to realize we aren’t the only ones. I Enjoy your channel.
Would love to see content on any of the following:
-your salvation experience
-what knife you carry
-lessons you learned as a father
Found your channel 2 nights ago, now I listen to 1 to 4 videos a night. Thank you for putting this together
-A random 19 year old in Ontario
Thank you and your wife for taking the time to share this content. As newly weds, Christians, and two people raised with pretty traditional views + a love of living off the land and living practically, this content is a breath of fresh air. It’s tough to find respectable people that are going into depths about these topics and you seem to address them with logic, wisdom, and honesty. God bless you two!
It took my husband and I almost 8 years to figure these out. We got there after many difficult conversations and some arguing, but we got there.
I am so glad I am trying my best to fulfill all 5 of the points you made/understand them even though we are not married yet (but are moving towards it in the near future). Physical intimacy is important, as is respect like you said, and we both put in effort in that regard. He's a great man and I want him to know that I love him everyday!
This is what youtube should be. I am tuned in from kenya. Enjoying it like never before.
Lets talk about life.
My cowboy and I have been married 55years. We have 9 kids and 24 grandkids and 2 great grandchildren. As a cowgirl, I knew he’d rather be riding the Pecos, hunting and fishing. I got my first doe at 12. I was raised by a pioneer gramma and a Swiss grandpa. Our main problem was his mother, who hated me for working from home to put my husband thru collage for 8 years to get a double bachelors degree and master’s degree. She thought our having so many children was sinful. She tried everything to break us up. He would not disrespect her but would not allow her to disrespect me. Took 25 years for her to back off. A lot of patience, prayer, and grace.
Yep, yep, yep. I can totally vouch for the validity of each point. 50 something years old and 20 something years married and I agree with those point. Cheers yall.
As a newly wed this is incredibly helpful! We just celebrated one year of marriage and having traditional advice from others who have been married a long time is so useful, some things my parents just don’t talk to me about because they think it’s too private, so finding others who will is appreciated so much.
My husband and I have similar interests which is why we’re together but we are very different people and meeting in the middle has been a struggle sometimes! We’ve definitely balanced each other out over time, but there still wrinkles. Thank you for explaining things so clearly and logically, I can’t wait for my husband to finish work so I can show him these videos from you both, bless you :)
There will always be wrinkles and krinkles ,if I may say so, in a marriage but communication and patience from both sides go a long way and it builds love and respect for each other. When there is a conflict, not if there's a conflict, it's when there's a conflict because there certainly will be some here and there in a marriage, talk it out but don't let it be one sided,,,,, always be willing to work with each other and be unwilling to apologize to your spouse,,, man or woman. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage except for those that know there marriage isn't perfect and don't pretend it is... I'm not perfect and neither is my wife except she is perfect for me,,, we are married now for 19 years the 14 th. Of December and she gave birth to 15 children,,we understand each other but there are still issues that have to be faced and communication and and patience go a long way,,,, May God bless you and your spouse and give you a long happy life together!!!
I want correct something, I forgot to put in never be unwilling to apologize,,,,, I should have said ,,, always be willing to work with each other and be willing to apologize,,, I don't always have the proper way of explaining things so don't take my last text wrong,, I apologize for the mistake... I'm just trying to give a little advice and I'm not to proud to take advice either if you want to throw some my way because I'm sure not perfect..
My experience with the “decompress dilemma” was once she gave me that space .. it was very important for me to engage with her afterwards and reciprocate what i could do to to meet her needs
Ok, knowing you are from the Cumberland Gap makes so much sense. Geez. Listening to you is like bathing in that very distinct not just accent but...pattern of speaking? Grew up in East TN and there is something so comforting about this very specific patois. Thanks.
Thanks for being there for me Dwayne. I know these comments sometimes get to you. I just wanted to say though thanks for reminding me to be a good man, to think, and to remember the ones who took care of you.
Duane, the big brother that most of us never had. As always, thank you for your words of wisdom and sharing your experiences
I’m very touched that Momma went through this exercise with you. I’m old school in this way: Men should defer to women out of kindness. But if the respect for the man as a man is lacking that dog don’t hunt. As you said men will become resentful. Just the way it is
"Crockpot, & Microwave ", Dwayne, I nearly choke on my cigar,laughing, with that one, pretty good analogy though,😏.
Great points, with great discussion, as always. Thanks for the fireside chat, to bad not sharing same campfire. Have a Blessed one.
Crockpot and microwave, just love your discussions, it really helps the younger people to understand each side of the marriage and the way things work, please keep going it’s all invaluable, married for over thirty years, it is how you say it is, just sent this to my grown up son and daughter, love to hear you talk
Relationships are a two way street, they require mutual effort. Great video, keep them coming! I love the background and the fireplace in the bottom left corner, it adds a nice touch to the vibe.
My man,
This one hit me at home real, real hard. What you said about a man wanting to be respected more than he wants to be liked made me tear up a bit. That is something that I’d never said out loud to myself, or rather I’d never heard it from anybody in a way that settled with me.
I’m weathering the storm, shall we say.
Making this video with your wife shows tremendous growth in your connection alone
TO GET RESPECT YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT FIRST .. YOUR THE MAN THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY THEN FIRST BE THE EXAMPLE TO YOUR SPOUSE..
love your input. I wished I had the opportunity to not have to work - I didn't. It was working all day come home to the laundry shop for groceries - cooking a meals and clean up.
Yessir, amen to that. As a construction foreman, I tried to use a jodsite go-to on my wife... "the warden". While trying to communicate my mental exhaustion at making decisions for multiple poeple all day long, I told her "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you." It was not well received.
@@Hotshot1989 we didn't get in a fight over it or anything but she didn't laugh like the crew would have. She gets my sense of humor... she just didn't enjoy it at the time. Also, I've heard her use that one a time or two since. My wife is my best friend.She's the mother of my children. She's my sunrise and sunset. And she knows it. She's also a manager so she can totally relate.
Dry Creek Wrangler School is one of those channels whose videos I click ‘like’ on before it even starts.
Absolutely spot-on. Couldn't have stated these points any better than you did. New subscriber from the Pipe Cottage channel. Cheers!
A man needs a soft place to fall after a long day at work...However,
a man also needs to understand everything a wife goes through from dark thirty to midnite, while trying to manage your home and children. A wife is not allowed to escape from life as men do...and zone out into a Nothing bucket...
Wives are expected to work non stop, service your sexual needs whenever you desire, and do everything for everyone while we too are totally exhausted. If a wife received a salary for everything she manages in the home, her annual salary would be $178,000.00...
Research it for yourself.
Our marriage is the second one for both of us and we both have a child from those marriages and we both had custody of those children so we had a readymade family from the get go. My wife decided she wanted to stay at home and raise our children after having our first child together. I was happy to work the long hours so my wife could stay at home because that was her desire. The biggest problem we had when that started was meeting me at the front door and running off about her day (good or bad day). We finally came to an agreement that I would get 15 minutes to myself to unwind from my 16-18 hour day before she started. It was a hug, two kisses and 15 minutes of silence. After the 15 minutes, I would listen to her and decide if I needed to fix the problem or just be a sounding board for her. And quite often early on, I didn’t get the listen or fix thing right because I’m an alpha and also expected to fix every issue that comes up with my job and/or day but eventually you figure it out so you can at least be batting a 500 average.
It's true that women do a lot more thinking about logistics than men do...but I don't think that's by choice.
When your "domain" is the family...that's a 24/7 job that doesn't allow for time to zone out.
Hmm...my grandmother's kin is out of Kentucky. I thought the "no hugging", "no embarrassing displays of emotion", and "deal with your own issues" rules were just a WASP thing. My man and I have a reverse relationship -- at the end of the day, I just want the couch and a beer. When he says "we need to talk," I start looking for the door...
I’m marrying my husband-to-be in two months, and I so appreciate your perspective from the husband’s side of things.
All true. I think people should respect their spouses but also respect the marriage. Respecting the marriage is very important.
So many nuggets of wisdom. I truly hope that some young men and women out there will listen and take to heart. And dry Creek mama is the balance.
From a woman married 20 years you put that beautifully. I can just imagine you sitting there with young people spreading that wisdom.
Awesome video Dwayne👍👍👍I totally get it I know what you mean about being mentally fried. Sometimes you just can’t take no more thinking you have to shut it all down. Thanks for sharing and God bless🙏🏽🙏🏽
I'm glad I'm single I've been single now for 5 years. I'm the only one in my Neighborhood that's single. I, was married to the wrong ones at the time. so I chose to be single now. I'm independent and I take care of my own and I pull my own weight. I'm a commerical farmer and more happy then I was when I was married.
I agree, the more different you are together, the stronger your relationship can be. But you have to have common ground that grows together as well, or the differences will choke the sameness to death. When you see those really really bitter divorces, that's likely what happened.
Learning from your elders is something my younger self was too stubborn to do. I'm in my mind 40s now and just coming around. That could be a sixth...
Indeed! Young people are more insecure and they can’t understand where the other person is coming from especially when mom is home all day with babies and that’s taxing so men and women are so different but this is so true if we can both understand each other it makes things so much simpler and eliminate Squable, such true words! Yes Momma gets her channel! Yeahhh! Not taking away from hubbies words/wisdom.
Thank you so much for sharing... Y'all guys are really encouraging to me!
I have often thought that the most ideal family situation I could hope for would be myself, a spouse and children living under the same roof and everyone doing their particular responsibilities (however they were negotiated) both inside AND outside the home and in society-at-large.
Specifically, Mom and Dad both contributing financially and both contributing to the upkeep of the home.
With both Mom and Dad contributing to the upbringing of the kids from diapers to dating and all the instruction in life skills in between.
I know it's not a perfect world and I won't get everything I want in the "fair" distribution of responsibilities, but I think if I don't keep looking for ways to inch closer to my version of the ideal I'm likely to die regretting that I did not try harder.
Soothing my soul with nature and wisdom from Dwayne before sleep, just Amazing!
Good morning Dewayne, I can tell that you have sat down and did some serious thinking. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. You can't believe how many people you are helping. Take care and good luck.
I never remember being hugged or told I was loved by either parent!
💔
I was looking at, hat videos, and found this channel.
I have always been intrigued by the Cowboy lifestyle, and because of this channel I can learn Cowboy etiquette! I LOVE THIS CHANNEL!! THANK YOU FOR THIS!
I am a cowboy at heart, Hard-working, respectful, and a man of God. 🤠🏇
It's ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL 250% that women don't disrespect their man. Or constantly talk down to him or belittle him. It's as bad a living in a lighthouse and smashing the bottom stones away. Women as soon as you start IT'S BASICALLY OVER, he's looking for an exit, possibly hiding money for his financial recovery and the love is dead in his mind.
Okay, but the guy has to behave such that he doesn’t invite it. Don’t make us nag you to do basic household stuff. Be equally involved with the kids. Don’t wait to be asked to do laundry or dishes. Basically, act like the house is also half your problem.
In some marriages, such as the marriage, that my wife and I have, this doesn’t hold true. If I did not nag my wife to change the oil in the truck, or take out the trash, or mow the yard, or split and haul the firewood, or go to work and provide a paycheck then she would not be expected to nag me to do household stuff. If I did all of the outside work, I’m not doing laundry. Or dishes. Unless my wife is sick and needs help. Couples find their own way to work out their life together. and it’s never a good sign when one spouse is always looking for an excuse or reason to not respect the other. To belittle them. Or to down them. That road goes both ways.
@@DryCreekWranglerSchool I agree that it ought to be whatever is mutually agreed. If she agreed to that, fine. But what rubbed me wrong is when you mentioned working a ten hour day and then wanting to relax. I bet Mrs, with the seven children, would also like to lay back and do nothing after ten hours. My experience is that women don’t get to “be done” in traditional labour division, and the burden shouldn’t be entirely on one person to handle the internal machinations of the household.
Wish I would’ve understood that fact years ago.
Edited to change the tenses. My apologies, I didn’t realize the reply came from the OP.
I found your channel a few weeks ago. I just heard you mention Alaska in this video. I am from Alaska.
I’m not sure if that is your current location, if so, super rad!
You are a gentle man.
Dwayne, you are one of the only lights in my life right now.
God bless you sir.
Ha,so true to so many couples. Thanks for sharing. Loved seeing momma’s side too.
If both agree to give 100%, then when one is not feeling well, overtired, etc. the other automatically takes over. No score card.
I think it’s sad to see some young people going half way then stopping, heels dug in. Just do it, whatever it is that needs doing without the equalizer’s judgement 😊
Pretty much point by point the last 20 years of my life sir!! And I already know what mommas gonna say, becouse my momma had said it a million times herself!! God bless y’all!!! 🇺🇸💪💯
I'm from London/Corbin KY and I seen you as a suggest video and something told me to click on it I'm glad I did but people tell me that something is wrong with me because I'm 27 and only have friends that are way older then me late 40s and 50s and older but I love to learn and with the way the older tells story's like you do I learn from it and use it in my life I like to say that I have a old soul inside me but it scares me that the wise people like you are dying off and the world is left with stupid but god bless you bub glad I ran into your channel
Hi from Paris KY
@@knowthycell I'm in Lexington now glad to see people watch the man that's close hope all is great for you bud
I really appreciate you taking the time you spend sharing your knowledge with us
As you were describing working all day and being tired and her being home all day and wanting to go out, I started hearing John Conlee in my head singing Friday Night Blues...
I was thinking of that song too! 😁
This is so great to listen to. You nailed it, especially the physical intimacy aspect for us Men. Thanks a whole lot!
These videos are so incredibly helpful to me as a young man planning for marriage. Thank you. If you could, I would be overjoyed to see a video where you cover age gap and or young age as a marrying couple. My girlfriends is 2 years younger than me, she is 19. We have known each other for 4 years and have been together since day 1. We have talked about marriage for a large portion of our relationship, planning and considering, and the biggest hardship we face in the midst of such a big decision is the possible condescension and to some extent vitriol of others for marrying so young, especially with the age gap. It is hard when we are certain while everybody else discounts the effort and work and love we have put in for each other since day one. Thank you for your time.
Two years is nothing. If you are both confident in your relationship and ready for lifetime commitment to each other, do it. Own the decision and dismiss the naysayers.
Don’t worry about it. It used to be the norm to marry young and a two year age gap is nothing. My parents married similarly.
Two years is hardly an age gap. What the real caution is that 19 and 21 is so close to high school age & your brains are still developing. You are barely adults in the world. With such a limited works experience you can not possibly know what lies ahead. As you both hopefully mature there will be changes in how you see the world, what you both want to do in life and who you meet.
It’s extremely difficult to stay with the same person in a marriage at any age- and you two have been together since you were 14 & 16 years old.
I’m sorry: but Your physical needs for sex and intimacy won’t be satisfied with the same person for 5, 10, 15,20, 25, 30, 35 and beyond years!! It just won’t.
It’s best to fully mature (again, your physical brain is not even done maturing). Go out get your education, get a job & your own place. Date lots of people to learn how you are as a partner and what you need and want in a partner.
Then if you still want to get married to your current GF go back & reconcile.
This is what happened with Prince William and Catherine. They broke off their relationship to explore the world on their own. After a few years they got back together.
Bro, it's two years. You're fine.
@@Sarahthompson2237 Honestly, this is the worst advice to give. Especially for women. As a guy, I would never consider marrying a woman who has slept around.
Also the older I get, the less I want to get married. Why? Because if I have to fight life on my own, I'm not risking half or more of my hard earned rewards of that to a woman who wasn't there to help me.
It's better to get married young. At least if it doesn't work out, it makes sense to split everything up.
My father-in-law used to say "Sometimes I sits and things, and sometimes I just sits."
Awesome!! I loved it-thank you for sharing those ideas! I’m excited to hear from momma✨
It took me so many years to understand the difference between men and women. Great video ❤
You remind me a lot of my grandfather that I lost a few years ago. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Please continue to share!
Hello sir, I am new to your channel. I live in El Salvador and enjoy horses and such. I watched your video and appreciate your advice and words. My English is not the best but you make it simple to understand. At the end when someone speaks real wisdom and experience, they do not need many words.
I understand the non-huggy thing, if you're getting a hug, it really means something, hugs have become as cliche as the word love these days
Dewayne your voice we can all listen to for hours.
Very helpful advise. I tried a ton of pipes and always came back to the corn cob. That's a fact!
I don’t experience that recharge not thinking thing. Even when I’m tired I still get upset with myself sitting around doing nothing. Idk maybe it’s cause I’m young
Thanks for all the great videos you post! I am currently smoking on a Oliva Siri G Churchill Cameroon. Great cigar if you haven't tried it yet you should give it a shot.
Really great advice, I’ve taken to heart what you said about the decision making at dinner time. Im sure my husband will be happy to not have to make yet another decision. Sorry to say it never really occurred to me before!
About not wanting to pick what to make for dinner.....i get it. I think it's women who love and have every desire to want to please our man, we want to show our love by coming what you want, especially if the man is a picky eater. So you don't want to make the decision, but then don't want to eat my food cause that's not what you want, ugh 😩.
Finding an affectionate man is tough. I get that he is tired and needs to decompress but can I hug you for awhile and smell you because I'm thankful to God he brought you home. And of course love you, attracted to you and love your chest/back and just want to hold you, but when he's not affectionate and doesn't want it, it feels like a rejection 🥺😭
Being able to communicate is so important. I run into an argument if I try to discuss anything. Every little problem is turned into a personal insult and he argues, pouts and sulks for days. Just wanting to paint the kitchen or move some furniture is grounds for a meltdown. He isn't physically abusive, just refuses to listen to an opposing view without taking it personal. 43 years and it never gets better. I feel like this is where I live but it isn't my home. Hope better relationships for others. Hope people listen to you and listen to each other.
Dear A.P. , your story reminds me of my 92 year old Aunt. I went to my 94 years old Uncle's wake and asked my aunt how she was doing, and she responded with, " Well... now I can watch two shows that I like back to back."
I was thinking , " Yes. Definitely, you can do what you want."
Please know you are stronger than you think. Don't reward bad behavior by giving in. a little shake-up is a great thing. Regrets are never good at the end.
Man or woman, the biggest thing, regardless of where you’re coming from, is empathy. When I want to get mad at the other person, I sit back and try to ask myself what the whole picture is. How did their day look? What non hurtful reason might they be acting this way? Are you sure it has anything to do with you? If they’re not emotional types, might you be mistaking their indifference/curtness as cruelty when it’s just sadness or emotional exhaustion they were trained not to show because that’s a sign of weakness where they come from? Are you mistaking their pestering/nagging as annoyance when it’s just a plea for help emotionally or physically? Or loneliness? This only works though if you’re both willing to communicate regularly. If I consistently don’t know where you’re coming from when things are smooth, I can’t give you the benefit of the doubt in times of friction.
Walking my dog and smoking a monte cristo small cigar. I know it’s nothing special but I do like em. Tried the Romeo and Juliet’s and partigas recently and enjoyed them too. I might be green to the brotherhood of the leaf but on board none the less. 👍🏻
Great video with great advice. Also from the hills of eastern kentucky my friend
Excellent phrase: emotionally demonstrative, "Dr. Dwayne Noel".
Dwayne, I enjoy your talks, keep it up, young (and old) need to hear what you have to say
Dewayne and Mama!
Please forgive me if the sequence should have been the other way around, I put it as I put it only because Dewayne was the first of you I was honored to meet on-line :)
Congratulations on the spectacular success your UA-cam channel shows!
Your subscriber growth rate is spectacularly more than 300 times (!) higher than the average.
Evidently you touch some very sensitive points that so many folks of all walks of life hold dear and important.
Am so glad to see that so many people share your views.
Thank you and keep it going - Best to y'all!!
Love your sharing the insight Dewayne, especially from the man's point of view, and Deanna's, (saw her video too, very good). The fact that you share the benefits and rewards of traditional relationships, as well as the work, is very enlightening. My hope is that many watch, listen & learn from your experiences. I'm a little older than you, my man and I have been together 27 years, and I know exactly what you are saying. Thanks for sharing.
the thing about respect is 100% true.
These are incredibly insightful. Since I just got married in October. Very much appreciated. And I did go get the date tattooed on me the other night; so I wouldn’t forget it. 😆
What I like about being single now I can buy what I want to buy and I buy plenty of things now. My ex wife would stop by and ask me would I take her back. No is the answer I like my single life now. My ex wife knew now what she had now but she did not care at the time when she cheated on me. Just let me be single and I'm much happier now.
Great video as always! Love this series you've been doing, as I'm young and single, and at the age of 22, I've figured out the world is indeed round, so over the past year or so I've started to settle down, and think a lot more about getting married. We've got a JM Boswell store up here in PA near Huntington. If you're ever up here, it's a very nice shop. I'd love to sit down with you and smoke a cigar. Keep up the good work
Don't know why this popped up ( I don't watch TV, I watch various things on here) I grew up and still live in Vermont ( generations deep to pre Revolution Vermonter, not a transplant) Everything you said applies to me and my background. Having said that, I am younger than you, and society changed and we were together for years before we tied the knot. So I am blessed she got to see and understand me at my best and worst and I her at her best and worst.
Thank you for this video. My husband is very similar to you and this video helped me understand him a bit better!
I'm taking in the words from another walk of life and I'm enjoying every moment. Thanks for posing these authentic and dare I say charming videos.
I was raised to earn respect and only give it when earned, not hand it out. Don't let people walk over you, but don't be disrespectful. It's simple