My parents were never the philosophical sort. They are working-class folks, and that’s all they know and care about. I had to raise myself with strangers or by UA-cam videos. It’s sad, and lonely, but it’s the only life I’ve ever known. Listening to people like you, and the wisdom you offer, it’s a godsend. It keeps me hoping that there’s a better life for a peasant like me. So thank you. I really do appreciate it.
I'm a grandma. Been married, twice. My advice would be to decide what you want your life to look like and do not compromise. The right man will help you achieve it. Be patient and wait till you find him.
As a 31 year old young lady, wife and mother I agree Strange how the priority has been on touching us how to serve our employers and countries but not so much on how best to serve our spouses Grateful for content like this!
I want to say as a homegrown city boy from the rougher side of town, it’s really refreshing and inspiring to see you guys doing what you’re doin! Growing up in Atlanta you don’t get to see healthy examples of relationships/ marriages and especially good solid men. And I’m learning so much from you guys at 23, you’re even helping me patch things up with my daughters mother whom I hope to marry one day. Keep it up and thank you guys 🙏
one of the biggest things is mental health, find out if she has any personality disorders or problems, those cannot be fixed for the most part. sometimes its better not to try and 'fix' something
I am an extremely independent lady in a blue collar job, and I have been told from outside sources that I am a sigma. I’m working with myself currently to practice being a more feminine woman. I am always learning what it means to be a woman, and it is good to hear advice in this format, being so straightforward. please don’t tiptoe around the potential feelings of your audience too much. they’ll either like what you say and stay, or hate it and leave. those of us interested will benefit greatly from your bluntness.
Sigma isn’t a male thing. As someone from the generation that uses it, sigma kinda just means someone who can handle themselves, is confident, and able to be a go getter that lives their life, regardless of what others think
@@lunarlightasmr4660 I guess I could have composed that better. I am proud that I have been labeled as a sigma for sure, and because it was an outside source I am happy to adopt the title. I don’t see it as an either/or. I am just learning how to embrace more opportunities to be feminine :)
@@mailejordan7241 oh, understood. And honestly? Same, I am as well. I’m currently trying to find more ways to embrace and honor my feminine, while also still being true to ‘me’ and the way I like to go about the world. A bit tricky, at times, but it’s definitely worth it and such a liberating feeling!
No such a person as a sigma female, term is used by women about men. If a sigma male does exist you’ll never get to know one. As far as regaining your femininity, good luck.
@@danziegner really? Most of the people I hear say ‘sigma’ are the guys I have as friends, and sometimes like the dudes on my campus, but I’ve never heard one of my friends ever describe a guy as sigma? But maybe it’s just not a thing for women in my area/college 🤷♀️c
Before getting married - - Do not expect your husband to change for the better once you're married and with kids, because they often don't. It's just too hard for one thing to constantly go against the grain of their own personalities. That doesn't mean it's not possible to change, or that people never change, but don't put put all your hope on or make commitments thinking that good change is a guarantee. - When trying to decide if to have kids or if to marry someone, and if you have doubts, ask yourself - what are his actions? Not what he says, but what does he actually end up DOING? It's easy enough to tell someone you love someone, most people like to hear it, but if it's not followed by actions, then the person you're with is either confused about what love is, or doesn't actually love you but is with you for other reasons. It's hard to realise that because you want to trust them and believe them, but you need to focus on the hard evidence. Ask yourself 'What kind of evidence have I witnessed to far that would lead me to think that he's going to be xyz once he's my husband or a father?' If you have witnessed experienced far more negative actions than positive (addiction issues, mood problems, bad with money, cheating, generally irresponsible) ..........then the likelyhood that this will change once you're married is very, very small. You are taking a huge risk by proceeding further. In fact, if you listen to many women, they will say their husbands changed for the worse when they had kids, simply because they knew their wife was vulnerable and not likely to leave. If he's neurotic, moody and bad tempered now with you......just wait and see what he'll be like with lack of sleep and kids screeching around the house. Women often find out that their choice was a bad one when it's too late. - It is not your job or spiritual duty to rehabilitate badly behaved or abusive men, to the cost of your own health or even safety. They are not your child. Do not take the responsibility of his bad childhood or parenting on your shoulders, or think you have to put up with awful behaviour or your needs not being met because you feel sad for him and his childhood or mental problems. If you want to rehabilitate something, try upcycling or painting some old furniture, or renovate a house. If you want to nurture, have kids. If you want to heal and develop, become a therapist of lifecoach (and then at least you'll be paid for it). Don't be one of those women who reach 50 and realise that all their efforts were all for nothing and he never actually did improve. - If he doesn't take care of you nicely when you're ill, bin him. Some men view women as household appliances and do not like it at all when they malfunction. Many women find that out the hard way - when they have children, when they have to have na operation and need someone to step up so they can take it easy and heal after that. Some men will ignore their poor wives and leave them to handle everything by themselves, even if they've been told to rest by the doctors. Or those men might reluctantly 'help' you whilst sulking or giving you the silent treatment as your punishment for having to provide this service. Some men are mean with their money, but others are mean with their time and support. These are the types that expect you to dote on them when they're ill but they won't return the favour. - Look up the meaning of 'strategic incompetence' and 'mental load'. Hopefully knowing about those two will help you avoid them.
Outstanding advice. My wife and I have been married 60 years. Even though she has an anxiety disorder and was taught by her mother to despise her husband (because of her bad marriage) I could never walk out on my wife or divorce her because I would be turning my back on my God; and I can never do that. We both have a strong faith in God, and that is the foundation of our marriage. When you want to please God and be obedient to His commands, you treat your spouse and others with love and respect. This along with tolerance and understanding will solve a multitude of problems.
@@timesthree5757 staying faithful to His wife how does that make him a simp? As men we are called to love our wives like Jesus Christ loves the Church. Based on his comments it makes a true Man.
@@david19897 it sounds like a nightmare. I don’t put up with that crap from other men. Why am I gonna put up with that from women? I’ve got enough going on to put up with that kinda headache. Look I’ll just live in my backwoods dipping my chew, drinking my shine and have peace in my house thank you.
Nice video. I am 83 and my wife is 82. We have been married for 63 years. There is nothing better than staying together for life. Not that it always happens, but that is what God intended and the benefits of it can not be explained.
You sound so sweet, and humble. I started on your husbands channel-mostly for my husband to listen to. I’m glad you started your own, I’d like to be the kind of wife a husband values and I’m excited to hear more from you. Mamas United!! ❤
It’s so refreshing hearing a girl explain these dynamics and show how she’s made amends with them. Just so cool y’all found so much maturity in your own souls.
I'm a liberal and open minded 38 years old guy from Brazil and I'm very thankful for having the opportunity to watch you and your husband talking to a camera in such a vulnerable and honest way right, in front of my face! Your opinions and advices about such controversial subjects are so agreeable and useful, that almost scares me!! I'm so happy that I've found you this channel!!
The Bible says for men to love their wife and for his wife to respect her husband. You nailed it. The creator understands his creation since He is the designer! Thank you and Dwayne for sharing truth.
I’m a 52 yr old male,recent divorcee from the uk and I learnt a lot from your reflections here. I loved to hear your traditional values on marriage, thank you
@@drycreekmomma OK, I was a bit nervous coming on here as a male but my bud, Ade broke the ice for me, thanks Ade. You remind me of my Grandmother, a lot, Deanna. I mean of how she must have been, back in those days when at 17, she was a teacher of a classroom full of rowdy kids at various ages. I would like to hear some stories of how you delegated your most precious gifts to the kids themselves, as aids. That hands on, On-the-Job-Training, Experiential Learning curve is tapped into right out of the chute and that is the WAY is flourishes.
Divorce is a very tough thing and I was surprised I couldn't even find a support group in the suburban area I live in. Even some of the larger churches had NOTHING to offer. Have u tried any such path?
@@jaimhaas5170 I didn’t Jaim in my case I knew through the short term pain of the divorce and the wreckage it creates especially when there’s children, that better times were ahead and I kept my sights on that.
I have been with my wife since 1982. I believe that our success was in large part that we never used sex as a weapon and only rarely would one of us turn down the other’s advances. Satisfaction on both sides was important too. We also never fought over money even when money was short. We have always been great friends and have never denigrated the other. We have been two people sharing our lives together and so we have our own things but do them in the same place and never feel ignored if the other is busy with their activities. I think you have hit the nail on the head with your advice and I hope it helps others.
This was much needed. My husband and I have chosen to do traditional marriage roles (he works, I stay home with the babies, cook from scratch, and am starting homeschool) and it can seem so hard in this day to find anyone who can give guidance on this type of marriage. Being in the throes of baby/toddler years it’s hard to think it will get easier and not feel that “envy” you talk about. I would love to hear more on these topics and how you dealt with raising the children, roles in parenting, and finding grace as a traditional mother and to not feel like you’re continually failing 😅 please more videos! 🙏🏻
You are never failing. You are doing your best with love. Remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself grace as that is also how your babies will grow to see themselves. As they get older the challenges will ebb and flow. Sending you hugs, strength and love💕✨
There are endless permutations on defined role (or traditional) marital arrangements, so all stories deserve scrutiny. My wife and I were partners for 30 years making and retailing candy. We started out living in the building with the business, had children, and then bought the house next door to make room for both the growing family and the growing business. Home life and business life were literally a Blendtec "Will It Blend?" demo. The 90's and 00's were the last hurrah for getting something other than rote indoctrination from a rust belt public school so we'd have to figure a way to add in homeschool doing it today, but every day, every family interaction living in an ongoing business is it's own homeschool. Anyway, once that single digit age is gone (in a flash when looking back), many of the stay-at-home moms I've observed would put their extra time to a home based side-hussle to be available for the OH-SO important teen-age years - especially when raising children in a city environment.
Homeschoolmom here. Turn on children bi able songs Music is a good stress reliever, lots prayers. The most stress re Liv er is both take time to be to get t her, on decision s. Time with nothing but together in the word... not my will but Your Wil. And time for adult aloneness. Many deep de ceiver s. Trust and truth keeps the cement stable. Even in worst hurricanes. Kindness and charity which is not love it is charity will relay a coming understanding in ways not realized in moment. Your special, moms and dads are important for us all. My time is soon ending, stay strong you will make it in whatever the dream, loving thoughts warmly sent.
It helps as you teach your older kid or kids some responsibility by having them help take care of the little one or ones. But don't forget to let the older one be a kid too.
How do we say… You and Your Husband are the kind of hard-working-devoted Americans that made and continue to make our country great. Keep making videos please.
I am a male, we are married for 40 years. You spoke wisdom, I was wondering why you were so cautious. You are spot on, I can not add anything more to your list. Lovely to listen to you both. May GOD Bless your work. Thank you.
I loved and appreciated this! I am 54 year old woman, no children and never married. Even so, there is lots of wisdom and honesty here for me. So refreshing. The Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine takes many forms and you two display a beautiful expression of each. This made me proud to be a woman and a human being. Thank you for your courage for being so frank. ❤️
This was very lovely. I have a wonderful beautiful Mama of my own that I love very much, but we don’t get to have conversations like this normally, so this is a blessing. I’m a young single Christian woman and having folks like yourself speak wisdom into my life is such a gift. Keep doing your thing Mama! Look forward to seeing new videos!
I think your channel is a very important addition to your husband's channel . The young women of today I think should learn from your experience . I think it can literally save their lives . Thank you so much and keep doing what you're doing, I think it is very important. But yet another addition to all the hard work you do
I can't believe this was in my recommended. I didn't want this video to end because it resonated with me and validated so much of what I feel and undoubtedly what we all feel to some degree. It is frustrating, but at the same time, fascinating just how different men and women are in just about every aspect. I had never heard of the "nothing box" so I am super interested to look more into it! Conversations like these are so crucial for understanding ourselves and our partners better and ultimately having fulfilling relationships with those we love despite how challenging they can be at times. Thank you for this!
The respect thing really is huge. It goes hand-in-hand with being treated fairly. I can show the utmost devotion to the woman I love, but it wears me down and breeds resentment if I don't get the respect I feel I deserve. I was never able to adequately put this into words in my past relationships, but I really just didn't feel respected or like my opinion or feelings mattered. And for someone who rarely speaks unless it's to say something of import, not being listened to and actually heard was a huge slap in the face to me. With my new relationship, ensuring I felt respected as an equal partner was a prerequisite. The nothing box, physical aspects of a relationship...also very true. You totally nailed it. Even the envy thing. I would get judged for not doing some chores around the house, but everything else I did around the house or for our relationship was taken for granted and ignored until I was gone and they realized just how much I did. Even when you do try and help out with the chores your partner usually does, it doesn't help when they criticize how you accomplish those tasks, which happens often in relationships. And you're right, a man picks a woman that he wants because he wants her. I wrestled with the jealousy of women I was with, even when I only wanted them. I was content just to be with them and around them, but their insecurities disturbed the balance of things. Yes, men have that physical appetite. And (pardon the metaphor) a man can work up that appetite anywhere, but a good man will always prefer to eat at home with a woman who loves and respects him. Thanks so much for your input. There is a lot of truth to what you said here and I think your words carry a lot of value for anyone who is trying to make things work by finding out HOW they work.
Being married is a life long learning process. Dating is not the same as raising a family. Our society has not been kind to women who are not involved in the outside work force. Husbands need to express their thsnkfulness for all their w ives do that benefut the children and keep the household going.
Thank you and Dwayne for speaking about what many of us have experienced or things we need to hear. I’ll be 72 in a few weeks, will have been married to my wife for 52 years come next week. Both of your perspectives are spot on many times. Dwayne’s unashamed defense of manhood, what it means to be a man is what drew me to him…and just now discovering your channel with this video makes me appreciate what you 2 are doing even more. I agree in part with a couple things you said but because we are not all cut from the same cloth I thot I’d share something from a different perspective. I do have a nothing box, where I appear to need to just empty myself and recharge but the truth is most of the time I’m just wanting to sort things out without any input or influence from anyone else, wife included. So, there are wheels turning but I’ve shifted to neutral so that nothing appears to be moving. Secondly, as far as intimacy goes I am the kind of man who appreciates a woman who slips her hand into mine, gives me a hug and/or for no reason except as an expression of her love towards me. That is one awesome thing that attracted me to my wife 52+ years ago. Those things disappeared early in our marriage and that intimacy was replaced with a weekly “ritual”…you know, kids in bed, Saturday night, perhaps a glass of wine and wham, bam, thank you ma’am. Once we became empty nesters the “ritual” has continued. I have had conversations many times with my wife about how I appreciate simple efforts of affection that may or may not lead to sex…I try to hint at that by giving her a romantic kiss or cuddle beside her on the couch. The response I get is she makes me feel immature or less manly. She may bring up other people and say “do you think Bob and Linda behave like this?” Most times she’ll just take my hand and say “I know what you want” and we head to the bedroom. That’s not what I always want but I seldom want to start an argument or a discussion…again…about how much I appreciate spontaneous intimacy. If she would become more intimate and it results in sex then fine but I would feel more loved from those simple acts than from “ritual” weekly sex. She has always been receptive when she knows I’m “in the mood” so it’s not like there is a lack of sex in our relationship, but there is a lack of intimacy. The “ritual” of sex lacks any expression of love, it’s just a device to bring us physical pleasure. It makes me feel like I’m missing out on something. Do you think I am being difficult or am I the exception and not the rule of how normal men feel?
I gotta comment again, Please don’t be cautious with what you say I feel as women we need to be able to have open conversations about marriage in its entirety! I’m looking forward to more videos from you, as I have never had a legit woman role model. However, I somehow still managed to hold the same traditional views and was married just over a year ago. Thank you so much!!
I am 68 and the best advice my mother gave me before marriage was: “Never be too busy. Never be too tired. Because if you are, it’s for sure someone else won’t be.”
It made me tear up when you said ‘he wants to see all of you, give him that, and you will feel beautiful. Try it.’. I need to get out of my own head full of insecurity and try it
"What are you thinking about?" I started using alternative (if he looks troubled in my eyes, probably just inside nothing-box😅) "You remember I'm here if you want to talk about something, right?" and then just leave it. That gives him space. Thank you ma'am, your content is much needed and appreciated❤️
I’m a young bride and I’ve watched this video and your husbands. Spot on wisdom. I would love your take on what respecting your husband means in terms of action.
Misty I have a combined 40 years of marriage and I had the same question. You think I would know after two husbands but honestly it is a bit of an ambiguous word and I would like to know more specifically how it looks/acts between Deanna&Dewayne.(writing from my husbands account)
I came across this video by the grace of God a few minutes ago. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I am gay and my husband of almost 10 years is exactly what you were describing. My brain works very similarly to women’s brains. You may have saved my marriage. I thought that since we are both men that we would think the same, but that is just not the case. Everyone has different inherent needs. I need to feel loved and he needs to feel respected. It’s absolutely true and I completely understand the immense struggle. Everything you said made perfect sense to me. I only pray that somehow things change for us soon. The last few years have been so incredibly challenging. Anyway, I’m going to subscribe to your channel. I pray that your subscribers treat me kindly because I don’t fit the normal profile of your target audience. Thanks, Dr. Dan
Most conservatives are live and let live. We may not choose your path but that doesn’t mean we aren’t happy for you if your happy. I don’t care what you do in your bedroom. If you are kind, considerate, and live to serve mankind then that is all that matters. Hugs!!
We all have to navigate the rough waters in our relationships…. no matter what our sexual orientation may be. You need love, he needs respect. Find it in each other… do the work.❤
Oh my gosh I'm so excited you made your own channel!! This was all excellent advice thank you! I'm a 25 year old woman and I most days I get into my nothing box after work, but I feel like that'll change when I become a mom because that job is 24/7 for the rest of your life and there is no off the clock lol
I wish someone had told me that it was okay to be alone and to “get away” from my kids once in a while…don’t loose your identity! Be a great wife and mom but take care of yourself too 💝
I am a single woman with no children and I really got a lot out of this video and enjoyed your company. I never heard of the "sigma" personality type before, so thanks for mentioning that. I can relate totally. Thank you! PS My "mommas" name is Deanna too.
"We've been married 31 years." You know how good that makes me feel? Me and mine were married 41 in January. Lost her to the covid treatment. The journey is definitely worth the trouble (growing and learning). Thank you Ma'am, and good luck with your channel.🇺🇸⚔️🍕🍺🎄❄️
What a very nice video. I was married for 33 years to my high school sweet heart-love at first sight. Like a lightning bolt. We had such a wonderful marriage until cancer stole her from me 4 months ago. I feel like I could really contribute to your channel especially with advice from someone who was in the trenches. We had a very good legacy together and fostered and adopted five kids with two biological kids. We started with nothing but love and determination to build a life together and worked hard at it as a team since 16 years old. Se couldn’t wait to be adults and we even acted more adult than most adults. I have so many stories i really should write a book. I never had a nothing box- there just wasn’t enough daylight in the day for me. I just couldn’t stop…it was so much fun building a life with her. I’m pretty devastated after this . I pretty much have to start all over again all alone. It’s not fun and its pretty much the worst hell on earth I’vemever witnessed and Ive been through some rough spots. Our goal was the realization that being debt free and financially responsible were the key elements of a well oiled machine with future. I can go in all day bit I’m really enjoying discovering yours and your Husband’s channel.
This is a great video Deanna. My husband and I have been married for 25 years, and I agree with everything you've shared. Sometimes, as women, it's very difficult to get out of our own minds how we view ourselves. We dealt with that for years. I would not have a high opinion of myself, so it was hard for me to receive my husband in the way he intended. It took a lot of prayer, and my husband's commitment to the Lord, and our marriage, to come full circle.
Thank you so much for your last point and your obvious current understanding! My story is tragic, but married 17 years. Currently ending in her affair and divorce. However! Your comment about him having the blinders on all day actually brought tears to my eyes! For 24 years I have had eyes only for this girl I love and married! I chose HER! Not only did I always consider it my duty to not notice other women, it truly became a natural way of being. But alas, coming home to her and giving her all that attention and energy that I was saving for her alone was met with rejection, refusal, denial… I’m not just talking about sex, I’m referring to any sort of affection or attention along those lines. I saved it all for her, and she refused it. If any other marriages can be helped by your video, or even possibly my own comment, this is why I’m here and applauding you! Ladies, that part of him is for you alone and he’s saving it for you! You ought to be jealous of it if he ever strays from you in that regard, but please don’t reject and refuse it from him when he offers that energy and attention to you!
You, my dear, are spot on!! I was with my wife for nearly 30 years, until she passed on, and much of what you offer as insights, we learned over the course of our marriage. Respect and love should be given and received in equal doses, but...tempered and molded to each person's "needs". A good beginning!!
I love your perspective!♡ I didn't get married until I was in my 60s. A "sigma male" fell madly in love with me. He even rescued me from a fruitless relationship. He is an amazing partner and yet it's been challenging for me. I would say judgement and comparisons are our worst enemies. I'm glad I trusted him. I love him to bits.
Good advice..had to share with my two daughters (18 and 21) and my wife of 27 years. Headed to your husbands channel to look at some of his videos now.
Thank you! This is so realistic and relatable. Married for 12 years and feeling a little lost. This brings it back down to earth and makes our troubles seem not so big.
@@drycreekmomma I think that is a very good question! 'Why do you want to get married and what does that look like.' Right then and there ...should open up to some very good honest and truthful conversation.
I love this momma. I grew up with a single grandmother and my husband a single mother. We’re still learning after getting married at 19&21. Now 23&26. With 3 boys. We love this life. We’ve watched all our friends married in the timing of our relationship divorce. We are searching out community with neither sides of our family very active. And we’re trying everyday to be the couple others can turn to for help. We want to see marriages thrive. And families restored. Love your slow sit down video. And your wisdom. And I took a lot from it. Thank you!!! Look forward to your next video!🫶🏼
I've been following your husbands channel since back when there were only a couple hundred followers and have really loved every video. I'm looking forward to this side of the stories, too. The two of you remind me of my wife and I but a bit further down the trail of life then we are yet. It's wonderful to find a couple who have wisdom to share. Thank you 🤠
I really enjoyed your comments I am a signum mail it was hard to understand my feelings my wives did not understand me so I am single now they left me for two more man so I’m alone doing my own thing and wishing sometimes I can find someone who really cared it’s great to see that you enjoyed Dwayne so much and you enjoy the farm life very well and ride horses it takes everything in life to enjoy each other 🐴🐴I rode horses for over 30 years
Beautiful! I love this presentation, having been married for 52 years (she passed away two years ago) oh how I miss that wonderful, loving, caring woman who raised and homeschooled our 5 children. All your points are right on target. God has and continues to bless you.
6:24 I appreciate you talking about this so much! I feel seen with that and not alone! Also please say your peace because you will find your audience because you do say what you mean. Thank you as a young women without a mother to talk to. ❤ I’m really excited about this channel.
I've been listening to Dwayne for a cpl months. Today is first time I've listened to Momma! WoW!!! Love the content of this video. You 2 serve America. I hope everyone subscribes
Thank you!! I can’t wait to pursue a similar traditional marriage and family with my current boyfriend! This advice was amazing, I’d love to see future videos about motherhood and parenting too ❤️
The Pastor who did the talk about the “nothing box” is Mark Gungor from Wisconsin. My wife and I did a couple’s Bible Study and watched the video. It is great and very funny.
There is something very special that comes through you and your husband's words. I'm very glad you started your own channel. Thank you for sharing your grace with us!
Thank you. Your Honest..I'm 64. I did 33yrs of marriage..I wanted the 50 yrs,but it didnt happen. Single now for 14 yrs..I'm still learning of men. I appreciate your views. I Thank u
After 42 + years of marriage I agree with all you said. Every point made is true. When we stop fighting against our husband's inborn traits, our marriage and physical intimacy is great. Yes, after 42 years of marriage, our physical intimacy is strong as ever. And, we have been through many life difficulties together. Forgive your dear man when he isn't perfect to you. No man is perfect.
I love the advice you and your husband have to offer. I am a Christian woman who has 2 young children, and my first marriage didn't work out. I know some of the issues were my fault and others his. I want to grow and learn not only so I can be prepared for a possible future husband, but also so that I can grow as an individual. I appreciate you taking the time to discuss these things. Have a blessed one!
Hey momma, just hearing you talk made me feel comfortable. I'm glad you made a channel, I look forward to learning from a lady with a lot more wisdom and life experience than myself.
Been watching your husband's channel, Dry Creek Wrangler School, for a little over a year off and on (First video I seen of his was him talking about his cowboy boots and how since he's gotten older, he's had to switch the type of boot he wears and he was smoking a cigar, kinda reminded me of my father from the way he talks to his clothing.) and I like what he teaches and what he talks about so I subscribed to him months ago. The other day I was watching a video and he mentioned that you have a channel now so I decided to hop over here and watch this video (which is helpfully seeing it in a woman's perspective) and then to let you know that you have my subscription as well! :) Thank you for being you :D
You're doing great! I studied philosophy before college and during college, but now - 10 years later - the things I've learned are finally making sense. You and your husband are both a blessing, and far more helpful than I think you realize. Just showing up and talking about anything is enough. It feels like talking to a friend; and some of us don't have very many friends. If you keep making videos, you'll begin to understand your audience better and be more comfortable. You're already doing a great job.
Thanks Deanna, great wisdom. I would just add, after experiencing many unhealthy relationships myself, that young women-any women-need to realize how important it is to spend time NOT being sexually involved with a man to see what his character is like, how he treats his parents, children, animals and you. Is he angry or abusive? An addict? Avoids taking responsibility for his actions? A cheater/womanizer? Narrowing that down, if they actually find someone that isn't one or more of those things, then they can have something to work with, and employ the wisdom you've shared. Blessings!
Spot on ! Married 35 years. Sometimes ya gotta fake it ladies.keep going every day.no one has a perfect life. For better for worse. Kids grow up and leave.do not put your kids before your husband.
Finally hearing another woman say things I completely and whole heartedly believe in. Thank you so much for making this video. Truly, truly grateful 🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️
Very beautiful spoken! I wish I had seen it 20 years ago! Maybe I wouldn’t have left the father of my child. (Who now watches your husband videos and is changing so beautiful in his way of living!) Thank you for sharing! 🙏 Wishing you and your husband much more loving years together!
All of these revolve around "dont take it personally". In other words boundaries, not enmeshment. You are not them and they are not you. Realize what they do is likely about themselves, not you. This is great advice for all of life's relationships. Let yourself go and have genuine curiosity about the other person. Realize most of your reactions are about you not about them.
I have been married for 50 years. I have found respect, trust , friendship, truth and love are the most important. Be accepting of each other shortcomings. It is very hard but to not give up. I loved your video.
My husband introduced me to dry creek wrangler and I’ve watched so many videos. I got so excited when I saw you started your own. So crazy to see Dry Creek grow so rapidly! Keep doing yalls thing 👏🏻👏🏻 me and my husband love yalls content. We aren’t cowboys and never will be but we love the old fashioned country life and the wisdom it brings!
"Momma", The book is "Her Love and His Respect" such a beautiful book for couples. I too love the encyclopedia of wisdom that your husband shares with us. I love hearing from both you and him. Thank you for sharing as well.
Thank you, Deanna, for allowing all of us to learn and grow with your earned wisdom. Married 24 years, 2 kids, and a daughter-in-law, (23, 21, & 21 now), and a 2 year old grandson. All of us are sigmas. Makes for a very odd household, especially when the kids were teens. I wish I had understood this in my 20's(I'm 41 now), but better late than never, right? I'll be sharing both yours and Duane's channels with my son and his wife, and my daughter. We all need a guide, and you 2 are great at it!
These were really helpful reminders, thank you! I’m a homeschool mom of 7 in Texas. Our kids are ages 14 down to 3, almost 4. 🥲 My hubby is one who is fine in his own world, doing his own thing… and our paths of interest don’t cross much (we were engaged after dating 3 months, and married 6 months later, started having babies right away and it’s made it hard to learn about each other as we go). I’m curious about the sigma thing! That gives me something to think about, and I appreciate your encouragement.
That " thinking nothing" is so hard for us to explain. Every evening I would just see the sunset and think about nothing. And my girlfriend would think that I am angry with her or ignoring her. Lastly, please don't be so cautious about your thoughts. I am from India and I have subscribed to your husband's channel just because he has that old sage wisdom and he speaks the truth as it is. So, just be you. Thank you!
I'm a 41 y/old man, and yes, the respect is very important. From my view a woman that doesn't respect me, can't love me. It goes both ways i think, but men probably show that need more than women. The term "nothing box" is new to me but it makes sense. My problem sometimes with my wife is that my "box", sometimes it's a very large box that spends several hours per week. It was a bigger problem before but i've overcome it, especially when we got our kid and my "nothing box" time reduced a lot. It had too. As long as i don't get lost as a person in the way, family always come first. She understands now that i need "my own world" time. I'm there, i listen, i take care of my share... and fortunately she also has a little "nothing box", and that helped her understanding mine. Best regards, from Portugal.
After 45 years of marriage your story is So familiar. But, we learn as we grow. Only the ones who hang in there can know the huge rewards that come down the road.
Great video, I would love to hear about how you homeschooled and some advice. Primarily advice on the teens (middle school) as I am taking that on with my younger sister right now. Public school did a number on her and pulling her back in at home is doable and it will be successful, I know I trust it, but it is definitely not easy.
Yes to the homeschooling topic! It's a touchy one these day. As farming family that homeschools, it's hard to find solid advice from people who have already been there and done that. Many resources on here today are mommas who are in the thick of it now. Which is great! Don't get me wrong. But to hear from someone who has come through to the other side, would be a great blessing.
Oh yes as A man in my early 30s The physical drive is very strong for my wife and sometimes I feel like I’m being pushy but she doesn’t understand that it is a physical urge it can actually be painful . We can’t help it it’s the way we are wired Especially with the one we love it is very strong
I like how Dewayne always has a cigar and you usually have a coffee. Both of your channels are amazing, definition good for everybody but especially the younger generation.
We just celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary 3 months ago and I need to have my wife introduced and hear the explanation to the "Nothing Box" by Deanna today! I have never been able (perhaps never tried) to explain to my wife my "Nothing Box".
I am a 65 year old man who has been married for 35 years. You are a very impressive woman. The vast majority of females in our country really could learn from your wisdom. I wish, often, that men and women could embrace their biological roles. And not try to be what their not.
Wow! 31 years of marriage, that’s incredible. I’ve just gotten engaged and I truly appreciate you and your husbands advice. I’ll take all the help I can get
I subscribed to your Chanel because of your husband before and while I was seeing this video... And after having seeing it I was so astonished ! It's soooo good ! Excellent ! Thanks again. "At the side of a great man there is always a great woman". God bless your family.
Im a clinical social worker who has provided a lot of marriage counseling. This video is excellent. Def worth sharing widely. Of all the things you mentioned, the most important factor in the development of a solid relationship is respect. Relationships where one partner demeans the other is a recipe for sadness.
You and your husband are the internet parental figures this generation needs
Amen to that
Truue
Agreed ❤
Yep same here
Amen
My parents were never the philosophical sort. They are working-class folks, and that’s all they know and care about.
I had to raise myself with strangers or by UA-cam videos. It’s sad, and lonely, but it’s the only life I’ve ever known.
Listening to people like you, and the wisdom you offer, it’s a godsend. It keeps me hoping that there’s a better life for a peasant like me.
So thank you. I really do appreciate it.
❤❤❤
I'm a grandma. Been married, twice. My advice would be to decide what you want your life to look like and do not compromise. The right man will help you achieve it. Be patient and wait till you find him.
I am 81 male -- this was the best video ever. This should be a MUST WATCH before every wedding and every six months after. Bless you for sharing.
As a 31 year old young lady, wife and mother I agree
Strange how the priority has been on touching us how to serve our employers and countries but not so much on how best to serve our spouses
Grateful for content like this!
I'm only sixty it took me a long time to find and understand. I have the perfect understanding woman now.🥰
50th anniversary for me last week
Im still learning . ❤❤.
Shes not easy to read....lol
I want to say as a homegrown city boy from the rougher side of town, it’s really refreshing and inspiring to see you guys doing what you’re doin! Growing up in Atlanta you don’t get to see healthy examples of relationships/ marriages and especially good solid men. And I’m learning so much from you guys at 23, you’re even helping me patch things up with my daughters mother whom I hope to marry one day. Keep it up and thank you guys 🙏
May you have success and a beautiful family that you desire in the mighty name of Jesus Christ 🎉❤
God speed brother wishing you success.
one of the biggest things is mental health, find out if she has any personality disorders or problems, those cannot be fixed for the most part. sometimes its better not to try and 'fix' something
God bless you ❤
@@86thsamurai thank you very much ❤
I am an extremely independent lady in a blue collar job, and I have been told from outside sources that I am a sigma. I’m working with myself currently to practice being a more feminine woman. I am always learning what it means to be a woman, and it is good to hear advice in this format, being so straightforward. please don’t tiptoe around the potential feelings of your audience too much. they’ll either like what you say and stay, or hate it and leave. those of us interested will benefit greatly from your bluntness.
Sigma isn’t a male thing. As someone from the generation that uses it, sigma kinda just means someone who can handle themselves, is confident, and able to be a go getter that lives their life, regardless of what others think
@@lunarlightasmr4660 I guess I could have composed that better. I am proud that I have been labeled as a sigma for sure, and because it was an outside source I am happy to adopt the title.
I don’t see it as an either/or. I am just learning how to embrace more opportunities to be feminine :)
@@mailejordan7241 oh, understood. And honestly? Same, I am as well. I’m currently trying to find more ways to embrace and honor my feminine, while also still being true to ‘me’ and the way I like to go about the world. A bit tricky, at times, but it’s definitely worth it and such a liberating feeling!
No such a person as a sigma female, term is used by women about men. If a sigma male does exist you’ll never get to know one. As far as regaining your femininity, good luck.
@@danziegner really? Most of the people I hear say ‘sigma’ are the guys I have as friends, and sometimes like the dudes on my campus, but I’ve never heard one of my friends ever describe a guy as sigma? But maybe it’s just not a thing for women in my area/college 🤷♀️c
Before getting married -
- Do not expect your husband to change for the better once you're married and with kids, because they often don't. It's just too hard for one thing to constantly go against the grain of their own personalities. That doesn't mean it's not possible to change, or that people never change, but don't put put all your hope on or make commitments thinking that good change is a guarantee.
- When trying to decide if to have kids or if to marry someone, and if you have doubts, ask yourself - what are his actions? Not what he says, but what does he actually end up DOING? It's easy enough to tell someone you love someone, most people like to hear it, but if it's not followed by actions, then the person you're with is either confused about what love is, or doesn't actually love you but is with you for other reasons. It's hard to realise that because you want to trust them and believe them, but you need to focus on the hard evidence. Ask yourself 'What kind of evidence have I witnessed to far that would lead me to think that he's going to be xyz once he's my husband or a father?' If you have witnessed experienced far more negative actions than positive (addiction issues, mood problems, bad with money, cheating, generally irresponsible) ..........then the likelyhood that this will change once you're married is very, very small. You are taking a huge risk by proceeding further. In fact, if you listen to many women, they will say their husbands changed for the worse when they had kids, simply because they knew their wife was vulnerable and not likely to leave. If he's neurotic, moody and bad tempered now with you......just wait and see what he'll be like with lack of sleep and kids screeching around the house. Women often find out that their choice was a bad one when it's too late.
- It is not your job or spiritual duty to rehabilitate badly behaved or abusive men, to the cost of your own health or even safety. They are not your child. Do not take the responsibility of his bad childhood or parenting on your shoulders, or think you have to put up with awful behaviour or your needs not being met because you feel sad for him and his childhood or mental problems. If you want to rehabilitate something, try upcycling or painting some old furniture, or renovate a house. If you want to nurture, have kids. If you want to heal and develop, become a therapist of lifecoach (and then at least you'll be paid for it). Don't be one of those women who reach 50 and realise that all their efforts were all for nothing and he never actually did improve.
- If he doesn't take care of you nicely when you're ill, bin him. Some men view women as household appliances and do not like it at all when they malfunction. Many women find that out the hard way - when they have children, when they have to have na operation and need someone to step up so they can take it easy and heal after that. Some men will ignore their poor wives and leave them to handle everything by themselves, even if they've been told to rest by the doctors. Or those men might reluctantly 'help' you whilst sulking or giving you the silent treatment as your punishment for having to provide this service. Some men are mean with their money, but others are mean with their time and support. These are the types that expect you to dote on them when they're ill but they won't return the favour.
- Look up the meaning of 'strategic incompetence' and 'mental load'. Hopefully knowing about those two will help you avoid them.
Never marry anyone and expect to change them. That’s a YOU issue.
Is this a summary?
Outstanding advice. My wife and I have been married 60 years. Even though she has an anxiety disorder and was taught by her mother to despise her husband (because of her bad marriage) I could never walk out on my wife or divorce her because I would be turning my back on my God; and I can never do that. We both have a strong faith in God, and that is the foundation of our marriage. When you want to please God and be obedient to His commands, you treat your spouse and others with love and respect. This along with tolerance and understanding will solve a multitude of problems.
Thank you Richard. Good words, great in fact. I hope for your sake that you were able to get her out of that programming from her mother.
It also makes you a simp.
@@timesthree5757 staying faithful to His wife how does that make him a simp? As men we are called to love our wives like Jesus Christ loves the Church. Based on his comments it makes a true Man.
Well said! It is a commitment to God to love and be faithful to my husband, not just to my husband!
@@david19897 it sounds like a nightmare. I don’t put up with that crap from other men. Why am I gonna put up with that from women?
I’ve got enough going on to put up with that kinda headache.
Look I’ll just live in my backwoods dipping my chew, drinking my shine and have peace in my house thank you.
“Have grit, and give Grace.” Well said! Words to live by. You are an awesome role model for wives everywhere.
From a happily married man for 52 years.
Nice video. I am 83 and my wife is 82. We have been married for 63 years. There is nothing better than staying together for life. Not that it always happens, but that is what God intended and the benefits of it can not be explained.
❤❤
You sound so sweet, and humble. I started on your husbands channel-mostly for my husband to listen to. I’m glad you started your own, I’d like to be the kind of wife a husband values and I’m excited to hear more from you. Mamas United!! ❤
Mama’s united!!! I just love that!!! 😍
I'm relearning to be a "Good Husband".. whether I use it or not...🤔😘🤠
@@drycreekmomma looking good mama❤️
It’s so refreshing hearing a girl explain these dynamics and show how she’s made amends with them. Just so cool y’all found so much maturity in your own souls.
I'm a liberal and open minded 38 years old guy from Brazil and I'm very thankful for having the opportunity to watch you and your husband talking to a camera in such a vulnerable and honest way right, in front of my face! Your opinions and advices about such controversial subjects are so agreeable and useful, that almost scares me!! I'm so happy that I've found you this channel!!
The Bible says for men to love their wife and for his wife to respect her husband. You nailed it. The creator understands his creation since He is the designer! Thank you and Dwayne for sharing truth.
I’m a 52 yr old male,recent divorcee from the uk and I learnt a lot from your reflections here. I loved to hear your traditional values on marriage, thank you
Thank you so much for commenting! And for the encouragement! 🙂
@@drycreekmomma OK, I was a bit nervous coming on here as a male but my bud, Ade broke the ice for me, thanks Ade.
You remind me of my Grandmother, a lot, Deanna. I mean of how she must have been, back in those days when at 17, she was a teacher of a classroom full of rowdy kids at various ages. I would like to hear some stories of how you delegated your most precious gifts to the kids themselves, as aids.
That hands on, On-the-Job-Training, Experiential Learning curve is tapped into right out of the chute and that is the WAY is flourishes.
Divorce is a very tough thing and I was surprised I couldn't even find a support group in the suburban area I live in. Even some of the larger churches had NOTHING to offer. Have u tried any such path?
@@DALE959595 well said
@@jaimhaas5170 I didn’t Jaim in my case I knew through the short term pain of the divorce and the wreckage it creates especially when there’s children, that better times were ahead and I kept my sights on that.
I have been with my wife since 1982. I believe that our success was in large part that we never used sex as a weapon and only rarely would one of us turn down the other’s advances. Satisfaction on both sides was important too. We also never fought over money even when money was short. We have always been great friends and have never denigrated the other. We have been two people sharing our lives together and so we have our own things but do them in the same place and never feel ignored if the other is busy with their activities. I think you have hit the nail on the head with your advice and I hope it helps others.
Two very good pieces of advice!
This was much needed. My husband and I have chosen to do traditional marriage roles (he works, I stay home with the babies, cook from scratch, and am starting homeschool) and it can seem so hard in this day to find anyone who can give guidance on this type of marriage. Being in the throes of baby/toddler years it’s hard to think it will get easier and not feel that “envy” you talk about. I would love to hear more on these topics and how you dealt with raising the children, roles in parenting, and finding grace as a traditional mother and to not feel like you’re continually failing 😅 please more videos! 🙏🏻
Once kids get to being 6-8 it gets easier🎉 Then ya end up with many pets too😂
You are never failing. You are doing your best with love. Remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself grace as that is also how your babies will grow to see themselves. As they get older the challenges will ebb and flow. Sending you hugs, strength and love💕✨
There are endless permutations on defined role (or traditional) marital arrangements, so all stories deserve scrutiny. My wife and I were partners for 30 years making and retailing candy. We started out living in the building with the business, had children, and then bought the house next door to make room for both the growing family and the growing business. Home life and business life were literally a Blendtec "Will It Blend?" demo. The 90's and 00's were the last hurrah for getting something other than rote indoctrination from a rust belt public school so we'd have to figure a way to add in homeschool doing it today, but every day, every family interaction living in an ongoing business is it's own homeschool. Anyway, once that single digit age is gone (in a flash when looking back), many of the stay-at-home moms I've observed would put their extra time to a home based side-hussle to be available for the OH-SO important teen-age years - especially when raising children in a city environment.
Homeschoolmom here. Turn on children bi able songs Music is a good stress reliever, lots prayers. The most stress re Liv er is both take time to be to get t her, on decision s. Time with nothing but together in the word... not my will but Your Wil. And time for adult aloneness. Many deep de ceiver s. Trust and truth keeps the cement stable. Even in worst hurricanes. Kindness and charity which is not love it is charity will relay a coming understanding in ways not realized in moment. Your special, moms and dads are important for us all. My time is soon ending, stay strong you will make it in whatever the dream, loving thoughts warmly sent.
It helps as you teach your older kid or kids some responsibility by having them help take care of the little one or ones. But don't forget to let the older one be a kid too.
How do we say… You and Your Husband are the kind of hard-working-devoted Americans that made and continue to make our country great. Keep making videos please.
I am a male, we are married for 40 years. You spoke wisdom, I was wondering why you were so cautious. You are spot on, I can not add anything more to your list. Lovely to listen to you both. May GOD Bless your work. Thank you.
I loved and appreciated this! I am 54 year old woman, no children and never married. Even so, there is lots of wisdom and honesty here for me. So refreshing. The Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine takes many forms and you two display a beautiful expression of each. This made me proud to be a woman and a human being. Thank you for your courage for being so frank. ❤️
This was very lovely. I have a wonderful beautiful Mama of my own that I love very much, but we don’t get to have conversations like this normally, so this is a blessing. I’m a young single Christian woman and having folks like yourself speak wisdom into my life is such a gift. Keep doing your thing Mama! Look forward to seeing new videos!
What a pleasant comment 😊 Thank you so very much 💝
Beautiful name you were given.. awesome comment
I think your channel is a very important addition to your husband's channel . The young women of today I think should learn from your experience . I think it can literally save their lives . Thank you so much and keep doing what you're doing, I think it is very important. But yet another addition to all the hard work you do
I can't believe this was in my recommended. I didn't want this video to end because it resonated with me and validated so much of what I feel and undoubtedly what we all feel to some degree. It is frustrating, but at the same time, fascinating just how different men and women are in just about every aspect. I had never heard of the "nothing box" so I am super interested to look more into it! Conversations like these are so crucial for understanding ourselves and our partners better and ultimately having fulfilling relationships with those we love despite how challenging they can be at times. Thank you for this!
The respect thing really is huge. It goes hand-in-hand with being treated fairly. I can show the utmost devotion to the woman I love, but it wears me down and breeds resentment if I don't get the respect I feel I deserve. I was never able to adequately put this into words in my past relationships, but I really just didn't feel respected or like my opinion or feelings mattered. And for someone who rarely speaks unless it's to say something of import, not being listened to and actually heard was a huge slap in the face to me. With my new relationship, ensuring I felt respected as an equal partner was a prerequisite.
The nothing box, physical aspects of a relationship...also very true. You totally nailed it. Even the envy thing. I would get judged for not doing some chores around the house, but everything else I did around the house or for our relationship was taken for granted and ignored until I was gone and they realized just how much I did. Even when you do try and help out with the chores your partner usually does, it doesn't help when they criticize how you accomplish those tasks, which happens often in relationships.
And you're right, a man picks a woman that he wants because he wants her. I wrestled with the jealousy of women I was with, even when I only wanted them. I was content just to be with them and around them, but their insecurities disturbed the balance of things. Yes, men have that physical appetite. And (pardon the metaphor) a man can work up that appetite anywhere, but a good man will always prefer to eat at home with a woman who loves and respects him.
Thanks so much for your input. There is a lot of truth to what you said here and I think your words carry a lot of value for anyone who is trying to make things work by finding out HOW they work.
Being married is a life long learning process. Dating is not the same as raising a family. Our society has not been kind to women who are not involved in the outside work force. Husbands need to express their thsnkfulness for all their w ives do that benefut the children and keep the household going.
Thank you and Dwayne for speaking about what many of us have experienced or things we need to hear. I’ll be 72 in a few weeks, will have been married to my wife for 52 years come next week. Both of your perspectives are spot on many times. Dwayne’s unashamed defense of manhood, what it means to be a man is what drew me to him…and just now discovering your channel with this video makes me appreciate what you 2 are doing even more. I agree in part with a couple things you said but because we are not all cut from the same cloth I thot I’d share something from a different perspective. I do have a nothing box, where I appear to need to just empty myself and recharge but the truth is most of the time I’m just wanting to sort things out without any input or influence from anyone else, wife included. So, there are wheels turning but I’ve shifted to neutral so that nothing appears to be moving.
Secondly, as far as intimacy goes I am the kind of man who appreciates a woman who slips her hand into mine, gives me a hug and/or for no reason except as an expression of her love towards me. That is one awesome thing that attracted me to my wife 52+ years ago. Those things disappeared early in our marriage and that intimacy was replaced with a weekly “ritual”…you know, kids in bed, Saturday night, perhaps a glass of wine and wham, bam, thank you ma’am.
Once we became empty nesters the “ritual” has continued. I have had conversations many times with my wife about how I appreciate simple efforts of affection that may or may not lead to sex…I try to hint at that by giving her a romantic kiss or cuddle beside her on the couch. The response I get is she makes me feel immature or less manly. She may bring up other people and say “do you think Bob and Linda behave like this?” Most times she’ll just take my hand and say “I know what you want” and we head to the bedroom. That’s not what I always want but I seldom want to start an argument or a discussion…again…about how much I appreciate spontaneous intimacy. If she would become more intimate and it results in sex then fine but I would feel more loved from those simple acts than from “ritual” weekly sex.
She has always been receptive when she knows I’m “in the mood” so it’s not like there is a lack of sex in our relationship, but there is a lack of intimacy. The “ritual” of sex lacks any expression of love, it’s just a device to bring us physical pleasure. It makes me feel like I’m missing out on something. Do you think I am being difficult or am I the exception and not the rule of how normal men feel?
I gotta comment again, Please don’t be cautious with what you say I feel as women we need to be able to have open conversations about marriage in its entirety! I’m looking forward to more videos from you, as I have never had a legit woman role model. However, I somehow still managed to hold the same traditional views and was married just over a year ago. Thank you so much!!
I am 68 and the best advice my mother gave me before marriage was:
“Never be too busy. Never be too tired. Because if you are, it’s for sure someone else won’t be.”
It made me tear up when you said ‘he wants to see all of you, give him that, and you will feel beautiful. Try it.’. I need to get out of my own head full of insecurity and try it
"What are you thinking about?"
I started using alternative (if he looks troubled in my eyes, probably just inside nothing-box😅) "You remember I'm here if you want to talk about something, right?" and then just leave it.
That gives him space.
Thank you ma'am, your content is much needed and appreciated❤️
The conversation with the kids is best conversation you can have
I’m a young bride and I’ve watched this video and your husbands. Spot on wisdom. I would love your take on what respecting your husband means in terms of action.
Misty I have a combined 40 years of marriage and I had the same question. You think I would know after two husbands but honestly it is a bit of an ambiguous word and I would like to know more specifically how it looks/acts between Deanna&Dewayne.(writing from my husbands account)
I came across this video by the grace of God a few minutes ago. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I am gay and my husband of almost 10 years is exactly what you were describing. My brain works very similarly to women’s brains. You may have saved my marriage. I thought that since we are both men that we would think the same, but that is just not the case. Everyone has different inherent needs. I need to feel loved and he needs to feel respected. It’s absolutely true and I completely understand the immense struggle. Everything you said made perfect sense to me. I only pray that somehow things change for us soon. The last few years have been so incredibly challenging. Anyway, I’m going to subscribe to your channel. I pray that your subscribers treat me kindly because I don’t fit the normal profile of your target audience. Thanks, Dr. Dan
Have you read the Love Languages book? I think that helps a lot.
Most conservatives are live and let live. We may not choose your path but that doesn’t mean we aren’t happy for you if your happy. I don’t care what you do in your bedroom. If you are kind, considerate, and live to serve mankind then that is all that matters. Hugs!!
We all have to navigate the rough waters in our relationships…. no matter what our sexual orientation may be. You need love, he needs respect. Find it in each other… do the work.❤
David Deida writes about feminine and masculine polarity- this will clear things out for you. I wish you all the love you and your husband deserve.
What is normal? Be kind n happy 🥰🥰😻😻🥳
Oh my gosh I'm so excited you made your own channel!! This was all excellent advice thank you! I'm a 25 year old woman and I most days I get into my nothing box after work, but I feel like that'll change when I become a mom because that job is 24/7 for the rest of your life and there is no off the clock lol
I wish someone had told me that it was okay to be alone and to “get away” from my kids once in a while…don’t loose your identity! Be a great wife and mom but take care of yourself too 💝
I can honestly say, I learned two things. I'm 65, and this 15 minute video would have been nice to have years ago.
Me too
I came here from Dewayne. I’ll stay for mama. Much love from your neighbour to the north. Enjoy your winter.
I love it!!! "Nothing Box".....I never gave it a name:)
I am a single woman with no children and I really got a lot out of this video and enjoyed your company. I never heard of the "sigma" personality type before, so thanks for mentioning that. I can relate totally. Thank you! PS My "mommas" name is Deanna too.
Ty for this. One way to say it is, men are visual. As an older woman myself I agree 100%
"We've been married 31 years." You know how good that makes me feel? Me and mine were married 41 in January. Lost her to the covid treatment. The journey is definitely worth the trouble (growing and learning). Thank you Ma'am, and good luck with your channel.🇺🇸⚔️🍕🍺🎄❄️
I'm sorry that happened. You'll see her again.
@@TheJinnobi Yes Ma'am we'll be back together. I'm looking forward to a long and good life, but I'm not afraid to go.
@@charlesharper7292 - Your positivity is incredibly refreshing.
@@XOChristianaNicole 🙃🇺🇸⚔️🍕🍺🎄❄️❤️
No need to be scared yes.
What a very nice video.
I was married for 33 years to my high school sweet heart-love at first sight.
Like a lightning bolt.
We had such a wonderful marriage until cancer stole her from me 4 months ago.
I feel like I could really contribute to your channel especially with advice from someone who was in the trenches.
We had a very good legacy together and fostered and adopted five kids with two biological kids.
We started with nothing but love and determination to build a life together and worked hard at it as a team since 16 years old.
Se couldn’t wait to be adults and we even acted more adult than most adults.
I have so many stories i really should write a book.
I never had a nothing box- there just wasn’t enough daylight in the day for me.
I just couldn’t stop…it was so much fun building a life with her.
I’m pretty devastated after this .
I pretty much have to start all over again all alone.
It’s not fun and its pretty much the worst hell on earth I’vemever witnessed and Ive been through some rough spots.
Our goal was the realization that being debt free and financially responsible were the key elements of a well oiled machine with future.
I can go in all day bit I’m really enjoying discovering yours and your Husband’s channel.
This is a great video Deanna. My husband and I have been married for 25 years, and I agree with everything you've shared. Sometimes, as women, it's very difficult to get out of our own minds how we view ourselves. We dealt with that for years. I would not have a high opinion of myself, so it was hard for me to receive my husband in the way he intended. It took a lot of prayer, and my husband's commitment to the Lord, and our marriage, to come full circle.
Thank you so much for your last point and your obvious current understanding! My story is tragic, but married 17 years. Currently ending in her affair and divorce. However! Your comment about him having the blinders on all day actually brought tears to my eyes! For 24 years I have had eyes only for this girl I love and married! I chose HER! Not only did I always consider it my duty to not notice other women, it truly became a natural way of being. But alas, coming home to her and giving her all that attention and energy that I was saving for her alone was met with rejection, refusal, denial… I’m not just talking about sex, I’m referring to any sort of affection or attention along those lines. I saved it all for her, and she refused it. If any other marriages can be helped by your video, or even possibly my own comment, this is why I’m here and applauding you! Ladies, that part of him is for you alone and he’s saving it for you! You ought to be jealous of it if he ever strays from you in that regard, but please don’t reject and refuse it from him when he offers that energy and attention to you!
Spot on! I have been married to my best friend for 41 years. I loved watching you share your experience. Thank you. I agree ❤
You, my dear, are spot on!! I was with my wife for nearly 30 years, until she passed on, and much of what you offer as insights, we learned over the course of our marriage. Respect and love should be given and received in equal doses, but...tempered and molded to each person's "needs". A good beginning!!
Yes indeed !! Fellow SAHM /homeschooling mom here…
I resonate soooo much here w/ the encouragement you are sharing as wisdom ❤🙌🏻❤
I have never heard someone hit this on the head so well. Really glad I clicked on this video.
I love your perspective!♡ I didn't get married until I was in my 60s. A "sigma male" fell madly in love with me. He even rescued me from a fruitless relationship. He is an amazing partner and yet it's been challenging for me. I would say judgement and comparisons are our worst enemies. I'm glad I trusted him. I love him to bits.
This is giving me all the queens code vibes. Loving you and your husbands content, it is so needed, especially in today's world❤️
Good advice..had to share with my two daughters (18 and 21) and my wife of 27 years. Headed to your husbands channel to look at some of his videos now.
Thank you! This is so realistic and relatable. Married for 12 years and feeling a little lost. This brings it back down to earth and makes our troubles seem not so big.
Marriage is hard! But so worth it…just keep communicating with each other and remember why you got married! 💗
@@drycreekmomma I think that is a very good question! 'Why do you want to get married and what does that look like.' Right then and there ...should open up to some very good honest and truthful conversation.
I love this momma. I grew up with a single grandmother and my husband a single mother. We’re still learning after getting married at 19&21. Now 23&26. With 3 boys. We love this life. We’ve watched all our friends married in the timing of our relationship divorce. We are searching out community with neither sides of our family very active. And we’re trying everyday to be the couple others can turn to for help. We want to see marriages thrive. And families restored. Love your slow sit down video. And your wisdom. And I took a lot from it. Thank you!!! Look forward to your next video!🫶🏼
I've been following your husbands channel since back when there were only a couple hundred followers and have really loved every video. I'm looking forward to this side of the stories, too. The two of you remind me of my wife and I but a bit further down the trail of life then we are yet. It's wonderful to find a couple who have wisdom to share. Thank you 🤠
I really enjoyed your comments I am a signum mail it was hard to understand my feelings my wives did not understand me so I am single now they left me for two more man so I’m alone doing my own thing and wishing sometimes I can find someone who really cared it’s great to see that you enjoyed Dwayne so much and you enjoy the farm life very well and ride horses it takes everything in life to enjoy each other 🐴🐴I rode horses for over 30 years
Beautiful! I love this presentation, having been married for 52 years (she passed away two years ago) oh how I miss that wonderful, loving, caring woman who raised and homeschooled our 5 children. All your points are right on target. God has and continues to bless you.
6:24 I appreciate you talking about this so much! I feel seen with that and not alone! Also please say your peace because you will find your audience because you do say what you mean. Thank you as a young women without a mother to talk to. ❤ I’m really excited about this channel.
married almost 34 years; kids and grandkids. you are SPOT ON...every comment you made! Thanks Deanna!
I've been listening to Dwayne for a cpl months. Today is first time I've listened to Momma! WoW!!!
Love the content of this video.
You 2 serve America. I hope everyone subscribes
Thank you!! I can’t wait to pursue a similar traditional marriage and family with my current boyfriend! This advice was amazing, I’d love to see future videos about motherhood and parenting too ❤️
Thank you so much! I will definitely share some of those! 🥰
The Pastor who did the talk about the “nothing box” is Mark Gungor from Wisconsin. My wife and I did a couple’s Bible Study and watched the video. It is great and very funny.
There is something very special that comes through you and your husband's words. I'm very glad you started your own channel. Thank you for sharing your grace with us!
Thank you. Your Honest..I'm 64. I did 33yrs of marriage..I wanted the 50 yrs,but it didnt happen. Single now for 14 yrs..I'm still learning of men. I appreciate your views. I Thank u
After 42 + years of marriage I agree with all you said. Every point made is true. When we stop fighting against our husband's inborn traits, our marriage and physical intimacy is great. Yes, after 42 years of marriage, our physical intimacy is strong as ever. And, we have been through many life difficulties together.
Forgive your dear man when he isn't perfect to you. No man is perfect.
Wow, what a smart Lady, you are exactly right...thank you for your wisdom.
"He wants to come home and see you." ❤ amen, momma.
I love the advice you and your husband have to offer. I am a Christian woman who has 2 young children, and my first marriage didn't work out. I know some of the issues were my fault and others his. I want to grow and learn not only so I can be prepared for a possible future husband, but also so that I can grow as an individual. I appreciate you taking the time to discuss these things. Have a blessed one!
Hey momma, just hearing you talk made me feel comfortable. I'm glad you made a channel, I look forward to learning from a lady with a lot more wisdom and life experience than myself.
Thank you! ☺️
Been watching your husband's channel, Dry Creek Wrangler School, for a little over a year off and on (First video I seen of his was him talking about his cowboy boots and how since he's gotten older, he's had to switch the type of boot he wears and he was smoking a cigar, kinda reminded me of my father from the way he talks to his clothing.) and I like what he teaches and what he talks about so I subscribed to him months ago. The other day I was watching a video and he mentioned that you have a channel now so I decided to hop over here and watch this video (which is helpfully seeing it in a woman's perspective) and then to let you know that you have my subscription as well! :) Thank you for being you :D
You're doing great! I studied philosophy before college and during college, but now - 10 years later - the things I've learned are finally making sense. You and your husband are both a blessing, and far more helpful than I think you realize. Just showing up and talking about anything is enough. It feels like talking to a friend; and some of us don't have very many friends.
If you keep making videos, you'll begin to understand your audience better and be more comfortable. You're already doing a great job.
Thankyou for your perspective as a young unmarried male
What a fine lady to have by your side... Wise words for a weary generation.
Thanks Deanna, great wisdom. I would just add, after experiencing many unhealthy relationships myself, that young women-any women-need to realize how important it is to spend time NOT being sexually involved with a man to see what his character is like, how he treats his parents, children, animals and you. Is he angry or abusive? An addict? Avoids taking responsibility for his actions? A cheater/womanizer? Narrowing that down, if they actually find someone that isn't one or more of those things, then they can have something to work with, and employ the wisdom you've shared. Blessings!
Spot on ! Married 35 years. Sometimes ya gotta fake it ladies.keep going every day.no one has a perfect life. For better for worse. Kids grow up and leave.do not put your kids before your husband.
Finally hearing another woman say things I completely and whole heartedly believe in. Thank you so much for making this video. Truly, truly grateful 🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️
Very beautiful spoken! I wish I had seen it 20 years ago! Maybe I wouldn’t have left the father of my child. (Who now watches your husband videos and is changing so beautiful in his way of living!) Thank you for sharing! 🙏
Wishing you and your husband much more loving years together!
Been married for 12 and a half years. My wife and I went through Love and Respect for our pre marriage counseling. I'm glad we did.
All of these revolve around "dont take it personally". In other words boundaries, not enmeshment. You are not them and they are not you. Realize what they do is likely about themselves, not you.
This is great advice for all of life's relationships. Let yourself go and have genuine curiosity about the other person. Realize most of your reactions are about you not about them.
I have been married for 50 years. I have found respect, trust , friendship, truth and love are the most important. Be accepting of each other shortcomings. It is very hard but to not give up. I loved your video.
"Nothing box" - I love that!
My husband introduced me to dry creek wrangler and I’ve watched so many videos. I got so excited when I saw you started your own. So crazy to see Dry Creek grow so rapidly! Keep doing yalls thing 👏🏻👏🏻 me and my husband love yalls content. We aren’t cowboys and never will be but we love the old fashioned country life and the wisdom it brings!
So honorable for answering the call. Thank you for doing this.
"Momma", The book is "Her Love and His Respect" such a beautiful book for couples. I too love the encyclopedia of wisdom that your husband shares with us. I love hearing from both you and him. Thank you for sharing as well.
You go cowgirl!!! My wife and I have been married for 38 years and you have us figured out lol don’t tell anyone that we love y’all!
Thank you, Deanna, for allowing all of us to learn and grow with your earned wisdom. Married 24 years, 2 kids, and a daughter-in-law, (23, 21, & 21 now), and a 2 year old grandson. All of us are sigmas. Makes for a very odd household, especially when the kids were teens. I wish I had understood this in my 20's(I'm 41 now), but better late than never, right?
I'll be sharing both yours and Duane's channels with my son and his wife, and my daughter. We all need a guide, and you 2 are great at it!
Thank you so much 😊
These were really helpful reminders, thank you! I’m a homeschool mom of 7 in Texas. Our kids are ages 14 down to 3, almost 4. 🥲 My hubby is one who is fine in his own world, doing his own thing… and our paths of interest don’t cross much (we were engaged after dating 3 months, and married 6 months later, started having babies right away and it’s made it hard to learn about each other as we go). I’m curious about the sigma thing! That gives me something to think about, and I appreciate your encouragement.
I have been married 35 years and I’m right there with you on all points! And number 3 is truth as well and biblical. 🩷
That " thinking nothing" is so hard for us to explain. Every evening I would just see the sunset and think about nothing. And my girlfriend would think that I am angry with her or ignoring her.
Lastly, please don't be so cautious about your thoughts. I am from India and I have subscribed to your husband's channel just because he has that old sage wisdom and he speaks the truth as it is. So, just be you.
Thank you!
I'm a 41 y/old man, and yes, the respect is very important. From my view a woman that doesn't respect me, can't love me. It goes both ways i think, but men probably show that need more than women.
The term "nothing box" is new to me but it makes sense. My problem sometimes with my wife is that my "box", sometimes it's a very large box that spends several hours per week. It was a bigger problem before but i've overcome it, especially when we got our kid and my "nothing box" time reduced a lot. It had too. As long as i don't get lost as a person in the way, family always come first.
She understands now that i need "my own world" time. I'm there, i listen, i take care of my share... and fortunately she also has a little "nothing box", and that helped her understanding mine.
Best regards, from Portugal.
After 45 years of marriage your story is So familiar. But, we learn as we grow. Only the ones who hang in there can know the huge rewards that come down the road.
Great video, I would love to hear about how you homeschooled and some advice. Primarily advice on the teens (middle school) as I am taking that on with my younger sister right now. Public school did a number on her and pulling her back in at home is doable and it will be successful, I know I trust it, but it is definitely not easy.
I will try to share some tips! Thanks for the idea! 📝
Yes to the homeschooling topic! It's a touchy one these day. As farming family that homeschools, it's hard to find solid advice from people who have already been there and done that. Many resources on here today are mommas who are in the thick of it now. Which is great! Don't get me wrong. But to hear from someone who has come through to the other side, would be a great blessing.
You are officially my first UA-cam mom!! Got a few dads! Was missing the female
Perspective!
Oh yes as A man in my early 30s The physical drive is very strong for my wife and sometimes I feel like I’m being pushy but she doesn’t understand that it is a physical urge it can actually be painful . We can’t help it it’s the way we are wired Especially with the one we love it is very strong
I like how Dewayne always has a cigar and you usually have a coffee. Both of your channels are amazing, definition good for everybody but especially the younger generation.
We just celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary 3 months ago and I need to have my wife introduced and hear the explanation to the "Nothing Box" by Deanna today! I have never been able (perhaps never tried) to explain to my wife my "Nothing Box".
The point about the nothing box is very insightful.
Keep the videos coming, they are sooo helpful!! Would love to see some on tips for keeping a home and cooking.
I will definitely be sharing some of that! 🏠 🥘
I am a 65 year old man who has been married for 35 years. You are a very impressive woman. The vast majority of females in our country really could learn from your wisdom. I wish, often, that men and women could embrace their biological roles. And not try to be what their not.
As a man listening here, this makes so much sense, very sound advice 👍
Wow! 31 years of marriage, that’s incredible. I’ve just gotten engaged and I truly appreciate you and your husbands advice. I’ll take all the help I can get
I subscribed to your Chanel because of your husband before and while I was seeing this video... And after having seeing it I was so astonished ! It's soooo good ! Excellent ! Thanks again. "At the side of a great man there is always a great woman". God bless your family.
Im a clinical social worker who has provided a lot of marriage counseling. This video is excellent. Def worth sharing widely. Of all the things you mentioned, the most important factor in the development of a solid relationship is respect. Relationships where one partner demeans the other is a recipe for sadness.