How To Tell If Your Ex Is At The Test Drive (Clay Andrews 5 Stages)
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2020
- Clay Andrews discusses the 5 stages of getting back together. In this video, we will cover the Test Drive stage.
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Clay Andrews is going through the different stages that your ex goes through after your breakup. In this episode, he answers the question "How to Know if Your Ex is in the Test Drive Stage?"
Is your ex starting to respond to your messages but they are sending you one-word and cold responses after completely blocking you off? Your ex might be in Test Drive stage. Watch the rest of the video to understand what this stage is and how to deal with it.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices. - Навчання та стиль
Thanks for watching this video. I hope you're having a nice Labor Day weekend if you're in the United States. Please stay safe out there.
Hey Clay! Can you do the 5 stages your ex goes through in a rebound after a long term relationship! Thank you!
Hi Clay, I’m on test drive with my ex, i tried leading by opening up over phone conversation but he’s only just listening and remained silence. What should I do to bring him communicate more or initiate?
Hope you’re doing good with the election going there in US.
I gave my ex the apology she deserved
.
Detailed and honest. She sounded very happy to hear it. Not sure where we are exactly, contact is still limited, but I told her regardless of what choice she makes she deserves to hear the apology. As a man I genuinely gave her it. And I told her how bad it was making her feel. Nothing detrimental but things I should've just managed better.
Clay if I can give you a thousand thumbs up I would but when we get to interact with our exes we forget everything or mostly everything when we see a sign or something we don't like and we tend to go back downhill. Keep them coming it's like medicine to us out here we riding that dragon as you would say
Hi Antonio, when you say that you forget most of the things that you have learned when we start to interact with our ex, is truly true. It may take a lot of practice or master mindfulness but if we can do small things to be mindful each day, it will eventually come out naturally. :-)
Could you please include more examples on the Ex's behaviour, like phrases and stuff for the next video? That would be awesome 8)
Separated, 4 months no communication, had a wall of resistance and open talk. Then about 2 weeks of test drive, now I've been ghosted
She's "Test Driving" all right, with the new guy.
Thanks Clay For your amazing insight ☺️🙏
You are so welcome. :-)
Hey Clay! Your videos have been a godsend to me. My ex is clearly in the Test Drive stage. Even though she said she was willing to talk about getting back in the future, and agreed to have a skype call with me to chat, she still shows some signs of reluctance and just being defensive. I'm trying to start to reconnect with her through these means, and etc. Kinda nervous about how it's going to go, but i'm sure that with your tips, i can get her back. After all, she already demonstrated that she's interested! Fingers crossed.
That's great to hear. Just focus on on interactions and connection and not just on the label. And be patient as well.
Hi Clay! Consider making a video on why they are giving mixed signals while with a new rebound, but not talking. Or why they are giving mixed signals in general.
I think we already have that. :-) This video is also applicable. >> ua-cam.com/video/d_52f06pnI0/v-deo.html
More and more you give me hope Clay. Just have this slight feeling my ex after now what .... 10 months has been lurking on my social media, yet trying to be or look happy. Haven't spoken in now 2-3 months so idk lol
Glad to hear that our videos kept your hopes up. Remember, taking actions would also bring results. :-)
@@ClayAndrews and doing that the best way possible with taking action without mashing the gas pedal full throttle. thank you
even why h try to connect with her on a deeper level she still responds with one word responses
My ex and I had a good phone call, we talked about her and her work then me and my work and some family and life stuff. Then out of nowhere began to ask questions about some issues to do with me and the relationship. She began to ask about things I did wrong and whether I was faking things and tried to do stuff she wasn’t comfortable with which was not the case. I can see that she was probably testing me and seeing where I stood and wanting to get some closure and stuff but I git defensive and it went from asking to then telling me how I was and how I wasn’t very good. Please help should I apologise for the defensiveness and ask to talk because I want to? Or should I just ask to see her or do something else then if she brings it up we talk about it? I’m torn as I feel this is a big hurdle that is stopping us from moving forward as she’s clearly hurt still and wouldn’t of answered if she really didn’t care still. Help me clay!!
So, last time I checked in with you my ex and I were in a really good place. We still are, but I still don’t think he’s wanting to commit. He doesn’t bring anything up. We live together still so it’s difficult. He tells me he wants to take me to go see lights at Christmas like we did last time when we were dating and makes fun future plans. But does he see this as just a friendly thing to do? He makes these plans often and I don’t know whether to take it as I’m making progress or he’s just keeping me as a friend.
Hi Haylie, It can be an opportunity for both of to start things from a clean slate. Being too relationship-focused removes us from present moment awareness. Label will just follow if we have gained our ex's trust and confidence back.
My ex just entered the test drive phase. He got into a rebound relationship within a month of our breakup. He wasn’t really open to talking to me during that relationship but they just broke up about a week or two ago (I found out). He texted me this past weekend and we chatted for over an hour. He was open and chatty. I’m sure some of that reason is bc he had just broken up with his rebound. It’s been a few days and I haven’t heard from him again. Should I reach out or wait for him to reach out again?
6 year relationship and she broke up with me. After 4 mo I was at riding the dragon, but she went back to test drive two days ago. We were basically FWB, but said we were moving too fast. I stopped contacting her and letting her initiate contact now. Which she does often, but no more "I love you" or romantic texts. She isn't seeing anyone else either 100% said maybe we would try again in the future. We both just started counseling. Any advice? I'm mostly focusing on personal growth atm. I get a bit anxious/anxiety now any time we interact though.
Hi Clay. I’ve done The Ex-Solution Program and the Self-love Bootcamp. Me and my ex were together for five years and we’ve broken up for about 2 months. We are friends right now.We met up to hang out last month and we text everyday. I would love to hang out again but I know she’s busy as well and we both have school. Communication with texting back has fallen off a bit so I’m backing off a bit. What stage is my ex in and what should I do next?
Hi Denzel, maybe it is not really about the stage or phase where your ex at. But like what you said, she's busy and you both have schools. That's an area that you have to look into as well.
I feel like I’m a little past this stage….?? Idk ugh. He’s opening up a lot now now, says he’s loves me and missed me daily, is excited to talk to me and see me. Am I in the riding the dragon faze???? 🙄🥺
Last night was the first time me and her had an hour long conversation in a long time. I called my kids and then she got on the phone afterwards. We laughed and had a great conversation until she got sleepy. Today i realized she blocked me again, would that be test drive? 🤔I’m not sure
Could there be overlaps between stages? Like if your seeing signs from both riding the Dragon and Test Drive stages.
Yes
Hey clay, I messaged my ex checking on how he was. He usually blocks me but this time he hasn’t. A day or two after I messaged him he followed my old bsf who moved out the state. Is this him testing me? We broke up almost two years ago. He had a rebound. They broke up now he has another gf but apparently she’s starting to get tired of him his mom said. Helo
I fucking love you and appreciate you Clay. 🖤
Thanks. :-)
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤
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Ex gf is in a rebound but still keeps in touch with my sister.. any thoughts?
I think there's nothing wrong if she keeps a healthy relationship with your sisters. Your relationship and her relationship with your sisters are separate from each other.
So after watching some of your videos, I have to say a lot of the content has helped me to understand my current situation a lot.
So right now, I am trying to be more connection-focused than relationship-focused as mentioned in some of your videos. The question is, I am not sure how or where to start off and was wondering if you had any videos about this topic of becoming more connection-focused and what I can do to focus more on building that trust and connection again.
Thank you!
Try to check the playlist on Advanced Relational Skills. that will help you set the foundation leading to being connection focused. :-)
no contact n my stalker is back now/police do nothing.
I'm sorry to hear about that, Walter. But do stay safe.
Clay, my ex blocked my messages on Facebook but not my account, he is rebounding with a downgrade , and I deleted him on Facebook. He said he couldn’t trust me. We’ve been in no contact for about 50 days. Should I just give up on this?
Hi Marcela, To be honest, we really cannot decide on your behalf. given that giving up or moving on is a personal choice. At the end of the day, you have to do something that you are comfortable doing with and committed to do.
@@ClayAndrews If I didn't want to give up would I even have a chance?
Is there a video on how an ex reacts when they come out of a rebound
HI Samuel, there may no video for that, but it would be the same like the usual breakup.
@@ClayAndrews so once they do that have to wait for them to go through all stages of the break up for them to come back she has been in more contact with me and is scared of getting hurt
At test drive
Clay Andrews hey clay I found out today she just blocked me back again for no good reason on Snapchat she keeps blocking and unblocking me and I’m not doing anything to cause it why would she be doing this
She’s in a period of confusion. What matters is what happens face to face.
Narcissist happened to me. They will rebound soon.
When does it move from texting to speaking?
If you feel that you both have built a strong connection and you both have gained each other's trust and confidence back.
Clay Andrews okay thank you
I went on a couple of dates with my ex and then she had called me just to talk a couple of days in a row. I decided to call her and she acted completely different and now I haven't heard from her in over a week. Nothing significant happened . What is going on?
It sounds like a positive pull back, Bob. Give her some time to process what she feels.
@@ClayAndrews Thank you Clay! Should I just wait for her to contact me?
Text and inbox on whatapp and appreciate later..
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I went on a date with my ex but we haven't talked as much. He did say he enjoyed seeing me and likes talking to me. But I haven't talked much to him recently.
She test drove me for a week and jumped into another car in just a few days 🙃
If u ask her to go out for supper and play pool and she says yes as friends,is that all it is?
He is the best when it comes to recovery relationship❤
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p❤
+2 3 4 8 1 5 3 3 2 5 3 4 4.
Hi Clay, my ex and I talked almost 2 hours on the phone and opened up to me since I have been more connection focused thanks to your course. But he doesn’t initiate any contact anymore, he always answers though. He says he is blocked and that he doesn’t feel any feelings for me anymore (I hurt him badly esp. after the breakup) is this test drive stage ?
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💞??????????
Wh@tsapp him🌷🌷
I'm sure they are suspecting that you have an agenda. Just by talking about weird things with them 😅