You can tell he was about to crack up at the "Makers of Pillsbury Refrigerated Buttermilk Biscuits." Props to the actors for not breaking, this shit is hilarious.
How do you know that I can tell that? You can tell, apparently, so own your claim. Don't hide behind the mass. Own your opinion, man... There was no such thing as "cracking up". He incorporated an embarrassed face into his acting. Bad attempt on your side to shame the actor. It's disgusting, really. I read so many comments, saying this exact same shit: "Oh, my God, look he was about to loose character." basically you people are seeking attention saying: "look at me, I'm gonna point out this actor failing."
@@apopheniapareidolia ah yes "loose his character" Hey instead of patrolling the fucking comment section why don't you just fuck off? Lmao the video speaks for itself
@@legrandliseurtri7495 if it weren't for the deaf teenage runaways thing i would agree lol. plus using taxpayer resources to do it and cover it up is abuse of power but yeah, his marriage itself is between him, his wife, and their lawyers
You folks at the Onion should be reclassified as a national treasure. What an incredibly clever group. As Frankl said, "Live your life as though you are already living it for the second time, and don't make that same stupid mistake you know you are about to make."
@@nothingnoone8752 right. I don't want my hypothetical kid to learn these words through a YT vid. This coming from someone who wonders whether it's wise to have kids at all right now.
"the liaison i will be taking part in shortly with two poor, deaf teenage runaways" and "it hurts me more than you will ever know that this scandal i am running late to will impact your life so terribly"
It should be said this has to be the best cure to actually comiting these kinds of "scandals". If I held a press conference like this you bet I wouldn't do anything of the sort for a while
The same moment when we hear about this in news, we must not let our rage to override the thoughts of this honest hardworking man. And we shall immediately forgive, this seventh sex scandal that he will make.
But then the acting style would be all clowny, super-exaggerated, with some bits of physical comedy somehow introduced after Chris Katan or whoever started screaming.
It would never happen but it would be great, and deadpan it the whole way. However, the thing to do is to start out with fully outrageous behavior (deaf teen runaways) and dial it back a notch every time until it's somebody apologizing and forced out of public life for moving (not stealing or eating or throwing out) someone else's food in a shared fridge at work.
There was a recurring sketch like this on "Little Britain" with a closeted gay member of Parliament constantly having press conferences in front of his house with his wife and 2 kids apologizing for the inexplicably gay situations he accidentally finds himself constantly in the middle of... search for "sir norman fry compilation"
This was all hilarious, but my favorite parts were the two deaf teenage runaways and the Pillsbury Buttermilk Biscuits. I also love the emotionally detached and minimally supportive wife. That's always so creepy when this happens for real. Think of the people you know. They have a much smaller percentage of perversion, corruption, and just overall weaselly behavior than our congresscritters, right? What's up with that?
This kind of reminds me of like the Onion's other video about the Folsom, CA Dam Memorial (where the joke is that something bad will happen in the future and is avoidable). I don't mean that in a bad way, though. It's still funny!
I’m convinced that the only way the rest of the cast didn’t break character is that they had ear plugs to keep them from hearing the outrageous words that had me gasping for breath in laughter
It's very easy to actively not listen. They probably did listen, though. There might have been multiple takes/multiple scandals. I'm just glad he's admitting what must happen.
this man is a good man. the world needs good men. where do we find good men like this good man? we can learn a lot from this good man. i want to be a good man too.
Enough with, “I do solemnly swear that I will defend the constitution...” Let’s have all politicians use this speech when they take the oath of office.
I love the part about when he talks about how the hotel kicks him out because the loud noise the teenagers will make. The most original comedy in its best form!
"This scandal I am running late to"
4k likes and 1 comment?!?!?
I'd vote to re-elect him.
It's rare to see an honest politician.
Honest politicians like him need to be protected at all costs.
@@rockycomet4587 Even as a male, I would sleep with him to make sure he stays focused!
@@AndreasDelleske Just make sure you film it. Then, you'll have a steady source of income for the rest of his term.
A honest politician would be a giant failure
Can we re-elect him preemptively?
"This tragedy will have been preventable"
*what will I have done?*
Sounds like America the last 20 years
@@ernstthalmann4306 more like the last 300
@@anarcopablo lol absolutely
@@anarcopablo more like the last 1000 years
I dont care that he had an affair. I just want to know what he did with those biscuits.
Same here, what the hell
I'll gladly show you what he did with those biscuits. meet you at the hotel. 😘
I had to pause the video before it even started to drop a like and control my laughter!
limp biscuit. God i wish i didn't know what that is
@@skyloewen7077 🤨
“But sadly I’m currently too blinded by greed or lust to think and care about my actions”
Just spot on!
Wow, until the he got to the whips this sounded exactly like a real politician's apology if you take out the future tense.
The buscuits part was fine then?
@@TCt83067695 That was after the whips part
@@fidget0227 touché 👍🏾
Our politicians apologies are more of a youtubers apology video level
You still alive man?
i just realized that when a person seems to walk in front of the camera, its actually a transition to a different take
Wow! I would not have considered that. It's a brilliant technique.
@Purple Strike 1:28
Whoa good catch
@@posysdogovych2065 its actually very common in filmmaking
Or maybe it's the Ghost.
You can tell he was about to crack up at the "Makers of Pillsbury Refrigerated Buttermilk Biscuits." Props to the actors for not breaking, this shit is hilarious.
How do you know that I can tell that?
You can tell, apparently, so own your claim. Don't hide behind the mass.
Own your opinion, man...
There was no such thing as "cracking up". He incorporated an embarrassed face into his acting.
Bad attempt on your side to shame the actor.
It's disgusting, really. I read so many comments, saying this exact same shit:
"Oh, my God, look he was about to loose character."
basically you people are seeking attention saying: "look at me, I'm gonna point out this actor failing."
@@apopheniapareidolia ???
Exactly the opposite actually, I was impressed he didn't lose his character.
@@LemonInYourEyes
Ah, I see
@@apopheniapareidolia ah yes "loose his character"
Hey instead of patrolling the fucking comment section why don't you just fuck off? Lmao the video speaks for itself
@@joelhowell5402 "Ah Yes"?
"Linda, I am about to betray your trust." "Before the hotel kicks me out at the noise of whips."
lmao
are you still alive
@@PyroFloe lol
You ok dude?
@@PyroFloe Yes
@@hiddenshot1407 wow its crazy that 11 years later you are still on this account
when he said
"this affair......that i am running late to"
oh god the onion...so sweet
Probably not
shouldn't have fastened the buckle so tight
didn't he say "this scandal"?
Why on earth did youtube wait for 12 years to show us these genius.
It didn't, you probably ignored it before
It didn't you caught on late
@@johnmartinez7440 They probably were too young when The Onion was dropping these gems.
good question
He's sleezy...but he's honestly sleezy. Finally, a politician we can trust!
At least he was honest about it and didn't try to hide it like many politicians do these days.
It’s not honest at all. He’s saying he is sorry, it’s reprehensible, etc. The idea is that it’s just as insincere whether before or after.
It’s okay as long as you ask for forgiveness
I still don’t understand why we are supposed to care about politicians love life
@@yahhah3027 Neither do I. Just because a politician cheats on their partner or whatever, doesn't mean they can't be good at their job.
@@legrandliseurtri7495 if it weren't for the deaf teenage runaways thing i would agree lol. plus using taxpayer resources to do it and cover it up is abuse of power but yeah, his marriage itself is between him, his wife, and their lawyers
"I wish I could spare you the incredible pain and anguish I'm about to inflict on you."
Gotta keep that one in the chamber.
That apology to the biscuit company is honestly one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard
The fact the actor almost breaks when he says Pillsbury just makes this 11/10
Gregory White: He'll ALWAYS tell the truth!!! White 2020!!!
I think it's "He will always have told the truth"
I'd vote for him.
4 years ago? Oh y I’m so screwed
You folks at the Onion should be reclassified as a national treasure. What an incredibly clever group. As Frankl said, "Live your life as though you are already living it for the second time, and don't make that same stupid mistake you know you are about to make."
Too bad a decade ago they lost their ability to be funny.
And the best part is the YT rating : No Mature Content
It's just so far over YT's head they don't get it.
YT: nothing goes over my head, my reflexes are to fast
1:48
No Mature Content *yet*
@@nothingnoone8752 right. I don't want my hypothetical kid to learn these words through a YT vid.
This coming from someone who wonders whether it's wise to have kids at all right now.
@@alexandrasdrapetomaniacmin7186 never has been
Gregory White for Minority Whip!
Underrated comment
Not majority whip?
The greatest mistake of my life. I wish I could take it back but I can't as the hotel has a non-refundable deposit policy.
The fact that his wife is there...
Ahahaha!
He is making a public statement, so you can expect his wife and children to be present at the venue!!
She also has plans to be at the hotel too, but in a different room with someone else
@@gerardjagroo 🤣
"the liaison i will be taking part in shortly with two poor, deaf teenage runaways"
and
"it hurts me more than you will ever know that this scandal i am running late to will impact your life so terribly"
Hello
@Brazil Facts no
Whoever wrote this is a GENIUS
Deaf teenage runaways? Screw my career in politics!
That's not the only thing he screwed.
@@chesscomsupport8689 This is the perfect response.
@@chesscomsupport8689 Pillsbury Doughboy
"Lastly, I apologize to the makers of pillsbury refrigerated buttermilk biscuits." haha so good!
are you still alive
are you?
Squat Cobbler
Sir we would a 12 year old comment. Should we dig deeper or stop?!
@@GaganSingh-nx2yv how are we going to dig deeper exactly?
"Linda, I am about to betray your trust. I wish I could spare you the incredible pain and anguish I am about to inflict upon you" 🤣😂🤣
"...over and over again until the early hours of tomorrow, when the hotel kicks me out due to the noise from screams and the sound of whips."
"Of course I will wish I'd never made the mistake I'm about to spend several hours making."
Well, at least he has stamina.
It's good that he can admit to a mistake. I admire that. What an honourable man.
“I regret the mistake I’m about to spend several hours making” LMFAOOO
It should be said this has to be the best cure to actually comiting these kinds of "scandals". If I held a press conference like this you bet I wouldn't do anything of the sort for a while
Genius writing! Genius acting! Genius directing!
I hope people forgave him. He seems like if he had the opportunity, he would make different choices and not put her through that.
If he could go back in time to right now he would cancel his planes... 😂
@@2019inuyasha I doubt he's taking a plane to the hotel rendezvous. Probably just a taxi or a personal owned vehicle.
The same moment when we hear about this in news,
we must not let our rage to override the thoughts of
this honest hardworking man.
And we shall immediately forgive,
this seventh sex scandal that he will make.
I am a Libertarian voter and I approve this message.
J Henry Phillips libertarians are a special kind of voter
Connor Schroeder we’re the only voters who want a president to stand by his word to do nothing. #Libertarian
You don't need a president for that, you have billions of brain cells sitting chronically unused
@@domesticcat1725 libertarians are the anti war group now
@@seankrkovich2869 they’re the anti-anything group, naturally war would be included
Oh man, if only SNL had writers like this. Great recurring sketch idea
But then the acting style would be all clowny, super-exaggerated, with some bits of physical comedy somehow introduced after Chris Katan or whoever started screaming.
It would never happen but it would be great, and deadpan it the whole way. However, the thing to do is to start out with fully outrageous behavior (deaf teen runaways) and dial it back a notch every time until it's somebody apologizing and forced out of public life for moving (not stealing or eating or throwing out) someone else's food in a shared fridge at work.
There was a recurring sketch like this on "Little Britain" with a closeted gay member of Parliament constantly having press conferences in front of his house with his wife and 2 kids apologizing for the inexplicably gay situations he accidentally finds himself constantly in the middle of... search for "sir norman fry compilation"
"I have no plans to resign." - Congressman Dexhart
Its about time that politicians take responsibility for their actions in advance.
Rep. White is by far one of the most honest and surprisingly flexible men in politics, and it will be a pleasure to vote for him once again.
Too bad the new Onion material doesn't even come close to this classic material.
“This scandal that I am running late to” classic
Omg he said he's going to spend hours making a mistake. Wish I had someone who lasted hours.
Here I am.
How do they always find the most realistic actors for these shorts? Brilliant!
Hello!
Someone said in another Onion video, The Onion is based in NY, which home to a lot of "starving actors."
This was all hilarious, but my favorite parts were the two deaf teenage runaways and the Pillsbury Buttermilk Biscuits.
I also love the emotionally detached and minimally supportive wife. That's always so creepy when this happens for real.
Think of the people you know. They have a much smaller percentage of perversion, corruption, and just overall weaselly behavior than our congresscritters, right? What's up with that?
This kind of reminds me of like the Onion's other video about the Folsom, CA Dam Memorial (where the joke is that something bad will happen in the future and is avoidable). I don't mean that in a bad way, though. It's still funny!
I remember watching that one.
Yea
“This scandal…… that I’m currently late too”
I’m convinced that the only way the rest of the cast didn’t break character is that they had ear plugs to keep them from hearing the outrageous words that had me gasping for breath in laughter
It's very easy to actively not listen. They probably did listen, though. There might have been multiple takes/multiple scandals. I'm just glad he's admitting what must happen.
"Linda, I'm about to betray your trust....if only I was a stronger man" HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Classic!
U alive?
this man is a good man. the world needs good men. where do we find good men like this good man? we can learn a lot from this good man. i want to be a good man too.
Well, I think we had all better accept his gracious apology. After all, forgiveness is a virtue.
Man I thought he was gonna cheat on his wife with the hot lady beside him. Turns out, she’s the wife he’ll be cheating on.
1:57 dude nearly breaks character. 😂
Lol he really seems to
He was thinking of the fun he was gonna have with the two deaf teen runaways
Good catch
He was crying from regret for what he will do
I thought that was perfect acting..the sutble smile after a joke.. the dide was brilliant
Good for him he almost lost it several times but barely smiled at all
Pure gold!
forward thinking leadership!
The actor was about to crack after the buttermilk biscuits line
Enough with, “I do solemnly swear that I will defend the constitution...” Let’s have all politicians use this speech when they take the oath of office.
0:31 SEVERAL HOURS making? Respect bro respect.
This video has a good point. Many times when people are doing a bad thing they know that they are doing a bad thing. GO ONION!
When you're a time traveller but still have to make stuff happen so it won't create a paradox
Truth in government is important.
Ah,greed and lust,those old chestnuts.
This would make MUCH MORE SENSE if the Congressman here was a Republican. They're the ones who tout "family values" whatever that means....
It's been fourteen years.
No documentary on events.
Shame on you, O-SPAN 🧐
Come on guys, hasn’t he paid enough for his future mistake, let’s forgive him!
wrong! let's permit him!
Remember 13 years ago when politics were pure and honest?
No
All politicians should do this.
That would be a great way to break up with someone.
This is a really smart idea. I think all congressmen should do this
It's great that politicians have started doing this. I respect this guy.
So simple, but yet briliant idea.
The Onion News deliver.
holy sh*t! this is a classic because of the apology to Pillsbury.. OMG, I want to work for the Onion...
I mean...It's better to get all this out so you don't have to later, so...
What an honest man!
That throwaway joke at the end about the chattering teeth made me laugh.
to this day I still associate Pillsbury refrigerated buttermilk biscuits with this video
Probably the Most honest Politician right Now.
I think he's a fool for cheating on Linda.
Oh my! Thank God, someone who gets it.
I'm sick of those people too.
Man, this is funny...
Perhaps this tragedy will still be prevented provided that his pen... I mean, his fellow will not stand for this!
This exists in the same universe as the memorial for the imminent dam disaster
The most sincere press conference ever
Got my vote!
This should be a requirement for every politician as they take their oath of office. Just get it out of the way ya know?
Pillsbury biscuits? I never thought of that!
darwin?
This has aged like a fine wine.
he's trying not to laugh
can barely even get breath in at the end
I find this absolutely pronkful
I love the part about when he talks about how the hotel kicks him out because the loud noise the teenagers will make.
The most original comedy in its best form!
This should be required viewing by all politicians...
We need a statement from the Pillsbury Doughboy,as to the effects from his mistreatment.
I rofl'ed when he mentioned Pillsbury buiscuits! XD
Xd
Welcome to an alternate world where politicians are slightly more honest.
I thought he was going to apologize for the affair before he got exposed not before he even did it lol.
We need such honest politicians
UA-cam algorithm randomly recommended this to me while Gaetz's scandal is on fire 🔥🔥🔥
Couldn't he just not go?
nooooooooooooooo
No, he’s already running late. It would be rude of him to cancel now.
I miss the days when politicians like Kennedy would just openly and apologetically cheat on their wives
Now politicians spend campaign money on adult film stars and spend years dragging it out in court
ikr
I can't believe he's about to become such a horrible person. It's like he's not even thinking about the consequences
What a great ending!! Totally unexpected 5/5
I wish every politician was like this...