Oh my word! My sister just called my mother everything under the sun then said dont any of the family show up at her death bed and also complained how she is the only one left out! Its funny - but its not. I knew she just wanted connection but she sure goes about it the wrong way.
Narcissists believe they control the destiny of others which is a denial of the sanctity of the soul inevitably leading to their demise. Not hitching your wagon to a narcissist's vainglorious, self-serving blasphemy is the ultimate sign of courage and true character.
Spot on! I unhitched quite some time ago when I found out the truth and won't let him control me anymore, call him out to his face every time he tries to gaslight me! Sick twisted people!
It’s very interesting that they judge your reactions to their abuse as unprovoked action that is in one way or another bad or intolerable, yet apply the exact opposite “thinking” to their own actions, viewing them as reactions to something you did and therefore you caused their behavior.
Many years ago, I was going out to dinner with my narcissistic father at least 1 time per month. I figured if I was low contact that he would be nice to me when we met up, but I was wrong. He insulted everything he could about me such as my military service, my college education, my job, my physical appearance, and my car. I decided it was time to go no contact with him after he got upset at me for getting a newer used car because he couldn't laugh about my old junky car. I love myself too much to put myself in an abusive situation anymore.
My father was like this, too. After 20 years of CBT, I'm still a work in progress, but confidence comes from within. They only get to you because you let them. You striving for achievements, for them, will never get admiration from them, even though you've wanted it your whole life. I drive a 21 year old car (I have a new Porsche too but my father doesn't know about it). I don't know if that helps at all. My psychologist has me aiming for B- (B minus) instead of A++.
@@SirenaSpades It was disgusting how my father planned on saying something mean to me when we went out to dinner. This one time he says out of nowhere 'How's your GED' because I got a GED in high school and had to take summer school to get my high school diploma because of his negligent parenting. I went to college after I joined the military and graduated, but he didn't know that. He was planning on saying 'How's your GED' just to get a reaction out of me. I said to him 'I graduated college' and he was quiet. Another time I said to him it's hard to find a job because I was working as a security guard during the 2008-2013 financial crisis and he laughs and says 'Maybe you can be a security guard the rest of your life.' It was basically that same crap every time we went to dinner. I started using Grey Rock Method on him when he tried to pull that crap on me and he started ghosting me because he wasn't getting the desired reaction. I went no contact with him after he ghosted me.
@@DaisyRenee713 The true meaning of respect as it applies to others, no, they have no concept to be sure. However, they will always demand it of you?, and they will be as "kind" as to have an entire "play book" and instruction manual how you are to respect them. Dont you dare deviate from it or their wrath will fall upon you...
They are so compulsively fearful that they will never dare to admit they have a problem, even if everyone, including their own children, leaves them. No matter how clearly people see their true nature, they will persist until the end of their days in claiming that it’s someone else’s fault.
Yes, they will even try to use multiple factors such as blaming a child's health condition for their problems, not realizing that millions of other people may be in the same boat as them but are thriving. When the children become older they will then focus their attention on blaming their children's significant other for all their problems, etc. I always refer to their ranting as "the sales pitch." What the narcissistic ranting is all about is trying to sell others a narrative of how they want them to perceive reality, when in fact there is nothing based in reality. It drives me freak'n nuts! A simple way to deal with it is be saying, "I don't care!" Don't just say it, do it! If not you'll see years of your life wasted listening to their garbage when it could have been better spent somewhere else, or on someone else.
When I think about the good times, it grieves me. And when I think about him being alone, it breaks my heart. 😢💔 He needs me ....but when he treats me like crap, it rips my heart to shreds and I have to leave. Then, he turns it on me as if I'm wrong to leave and I'm always welcome to come back ....and I did ...hundreds of times ... apologizing for my broken way of reacting/responding to him. But he never apologizes. My apologies just confirm to him how right he was. It feels like he doesn't care to grow and overcome these issues ...like he can always point the finger back at me when things go south. I've finally set boundaries and have told him I'm tired of the hurt... that I am focusing on my relationship with God and healing, and suggested he do the same bc we can't keep repeating the cycle. I told him that God isn't requiring me to stay in that environment. I am to wait and pray. The rest is between him and God. But waiting is hard ....I truly love him. 😢❤💔
They aren't looking for a healthy relationship. They want relationships which benefit them, build them up and profit them. They want assets, so you'd better be an asset, or you'll be sorry.
Unable to learn anything cuz' they think they know everything + are afraid to try new things for fear of - OMG! - making a mistake. After out of school, main way we learn is mistakes teach us...either our own, or other folks'. I guess when you criticize everyone for everything, you have to worry about getting same criticism back that you dish out! Besides... we all know that Narcis are NEVER WRONG -- just ask them! LOL
I come from a family of narcissistic people on both sides. They tend to live forever just to spite you or die of a long illness which they enjoy while draining others. I didn’t truly believe that I would survive the parents, but now I have & just feel like death warmed over @ 66
I’m so excited for this premier. I have JUST recognized I have been dealing with a narcissist after years of therapy, alcoholism and rehab, realized I have been blaming myself and hurting myself in order to bend into whatever the narcissist wanted me to be. No more. I have a life and I will live it. Happily. Goodbye toxicity in my life. You have no space here
It’s sad that most therapists cannot recognize the elephant in the room… but it keeps you coming back for more therapy 😉 you’re in the right place to make tracks now!
They are very good at appearing different from who they really are. I did not see it at the beginning, but as I got closer to the narcissist I started seeing some unhealthy patterns. At first, I made excuses but then when I learned about narcissism, things began to make more sense with what I was dealing with. I still feel angry with myself at times wishing I would have exited the relationship much earlier when I saw the early unhealthy patterns. It seems like wasted time with someone I did not need to make time for.
In physics ENTROPY means disorder and instability, a narcissist entropy increases as they age given their disorderly patterns of living inevitably resulting in their own demise.
Exactly. Excellent find! Negative entropy which is the source of unity, integration, organic growth, creation, peace and order is based on wisdom, love and empathy, something that lacks in narcissists.
Toxic and evil are things I called him for years, even before I knew about narcissists. He can suck all the joy out of life just being around him. Want to leave but he has made it very difficult. I distance myself from him as much as possible, but get anger and rage when I do. Feel numb most of the time. Thank you Dr. C for your videos, they have helped me learn how to survive.😢😅
Same here. I refuse sex now, and after he yelled at me to stop moving one time. I feel repulsed. I can’t do it anymore. It would feel like a betrayal to my self respect and dignity if I did. Now he sits around and sulks.
Yes, toxic & evil is right! I know exactly how you feel being married to my anti- husband 43 yrs.! Most of that time he worked overseas. I had to learn to completely emotionally detach from him, it helped me to not be hurt from him anymore! I call him out now when he tries to gaslight me or cross my boundaries. I pretty much do my own thing and ignore him as I know he is toxic and completely unable to have a normal healthy and stable relationship. They are a empty soul in a human shell. 😮
@ I’m married to mine for 19 years. He’s kept me isolated the whole time, but more so the last eight years, and things have gotten worse. I’m settling boundaries and taking steps to change that and it’s really bothering him. I can see the desperation in him sometimes, even over the smallest of things.
They always have an excuse for everything that they screw up, and it usually doesn't involve them being responsible for it. It will either be someone else's fault or another external problem that one cannot find a solution for. They will be like this before they have children and afterwards, but will then use their children as another source for making excuses. When the children become adults the sources of blame will then be passed onto the significant other of their children, etc. It's a pattern that never stops. Before you know it ten years have passed by and they're still constantly making excuses. There is always a drama going on. They need constant attention but also deflection at the same time.
It's a curious thing that these kinds of people seem to believe that the solution to what is for them the intolerable problem, of other people getting away from them because of their bullying and abuse, is to increase the intensity and frequency of the bullying and abuse, expecting that this will somehow reverse the direction.
Every time my narc parent thinks she's winning by cutting me down she doesn't realize she's losing more and more of the sense of duty and obligation she instilled in me in childhood. She's burned so many bridges she has to mine me harder and harder as supply but as an adult who's worked on herself it doesn't work the same as it did on an 8 year old.
I hope you have plans in the future to leave this toxicity. The Lord doesn’t want us to allow people to wipe their feet on us. God bless you and keep you !
The bosses and coworkers ruined my previous workplaces. They wreaked havoc there due to their behaviors. As a consequence, all good people got out of the job. 🏃🏃♂🏃♀💨💨
I can see the facade my husband has put up for years is now being exposed publicly, his anger, controlling, all of it. It was on full display this past weekend.
My mom, A month ago. She threw me under the bus and I am stepping away. We are not going to the fake, happy family Christmas. Both of my adult daughters are coming over on Christmas Eve and we're having a sleepover. Focusing on those who actually make an effort going forward. This is the best Christmas gift I'll ever get, and it's probably the last time it will happen.
Self-destruction is a double-edged sword: on the one hand, you ignore your true needs, which is a violation and slander of your own feelings, and at the same time, you hurt the people around you through pretense and cover-up.
The beginning illustration reminds me of the last session we had with a marriage counselor. She had asked what I wanted from a good marriage. After I shared my views on a healthy marriage, Mr X said - - - " That's boring!!" We are getting divorced now, and it's been a nightmare. But I can see so much better from a distance the things that kept me confused while I was with him. I'm grateful for your videos, Dr C.
Dr C. thank you so much for all you do!!! They ultimately self destruct to a world of loneliness, because they inevitably run out of bridges to burn. And they still don’t get it!!! Can’t or choose not to self reflect. Truly sad and mind blowing!!! 🤯 Merry Christmas to all.🎄 🙏 Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born unto us a child is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
In my family they lived to over or nearly 100. I see narcissistic people happily living into old age as they wear their children & caregivers out. There’s always someone around to enable them & they know it. I wasn’t in contact with my father once we got him into a VA facility but I thanked his nurses when he finally died @ 92… they thought he was so nice, while I was just hoping he wouldn’t get kicked out! It’s a long road to hoe with these parents & don’t expect a reward in their will afterwards
@@mday3821 Sad but true on both counts. I don't want her to feel all that negativity when she passes, because she's completely unaware of the ongoing repercussions.
I remember 'discussing' with a narc what might be wrong with a toilet that wasn't working right. Neither of us are plumbers. But no matter what I said about what might be wrong with it, she simply shut my ideas down because she 'had a lot of years experience working with toilets!'. Yet I was older than her, and the idea that I MIGHT have even MORE experience than she did or know more about fixing toilets than she did, didn't even enter her mind! She didn't even entertain the thought, the possibility. In other words, there was no REASONING going in with her, just a fixed state of mind.
These videos are so spot on! I give this man credit for the eternal peace I have enjoyed after hearing so many of these following years in the presence of one of these amazing creatures of habit. Fortunately for me, and I thank Dr. Carter for letting me know, I have had no familial obligations to ever be in the presence of this individual again and that -- end all contact -- seems to be the best of all therapies! One thing I enjoyed about this video -- cracks me up -- I used to observe as the individual in question would volunteer to near-total strangers, friends and clients as well, how he could teach them his system for being as spiritually enlightened as himself. He is now divorced, what a surprise. I love these videos -- they have provided much needed healing for me as I'm sure they have done for many countless others.
Thank you, Dr. Carter, for all your inputs and advice, we receive from on a daily basis. Must of us, viewers arrived smuggled, sick, confused, and tired, now we are 'team helthy' May God continue to bless you. A huge hug to our Gus since he is an important party of our team. Merry Christmas ❤
Dr. C: You never cease to impress me with your honest, truthful information about narcissists. As I continue to delve into narcissism after years of therapy and going no contact with my family (2 & 4 yrs. ago with 2 siblings) I just find it quite unbelievable that the depth of the disorder is so toxic! Thanks to videos like yours 13:45 😢 that confirms my own experiences, I can sleep tonight.
Thank you too Dr. Les Carter. Bless your heart and mind God gave you to help us all. Merry Christmas and have a wonderful and a Happy New Year to you and your loved ones.
This is a very nice video on how narcissists think and how it causes relationship fallout. As someone with both narcissistic parents, I found myself baffled trying to understand why they think like this. I think that real phobia of being who they are was instilled in them and constantly reaffirmed during their life. Their core belief is that they are inherently flawed and that core belief makes them flawed. They cannot be just regular human, but in reality that is the only thing they can be. This is where I think cognitive dissonance comes from and why they constantly pretend to be better than they are to make as many people believe it is true. They early on give up this pretend with family members, bc it is simply too draining to overperform all the time. That's why they keep this persona for outside. It is baffling to family members that they are treated inhumanely by these individuals when neighbors and acquaintances get to have the good side. It is in a way a complete split of personality to good/people-pleasing and evil/selfish, but since they cannot admit to even having an "evil" side, they forget/deny/project the evil things they do. At least that makes sense to me as an explanation.
My wife had a very long email exchange with her brother and funnily enough it ended up very similar to this absurd scenario you presented. It led to a couple of live confrontations that led her to realize she never really knew her brother and she’s grey walling him now. In turn, he plays the role that he chose well and barely talks to her due to his need to feel disrespected and unwillingness to compromise on his perceived maturity. He honestly acts like an inexperienced method actor who believes an entire production lies on their skills alone and eventually gets fired and replaced by an experienced lead that cares. Thanks for the videos!
I found learned the best way to not deal with a narc is go quiet. Ignore don’t respond. Go to another location. Slowly plan your exit Mine was awful to me over years. But now he’s 71 and terrified of being sick or dying. Nice to me nowadays because I flipped the script of going gray rock. He relied on his mom for years then I let my empathy suck me in to help him. I’m useful to him but he’s aging and he’s in good shape but his mind is getting convoluted. Friends dying off others have grown tired of his using them. Soon I’ll be gone and I’m sure he will be lost.
The hardest part of watching these videos is it is your life of abuse that you are receiving and there just does not seem to be any hope on getting out. They have in such a position that you can’t. Not without having to suffer even further
Thank you Dr. C. Im older He's older, it's been a long long, long waiting game with no change no healing, no moving forward only going in circles and more controlling than ever. Christmas has always been exausting. Now I'm on a peaceful sabbatical accept for the phone attacks. Peace is so nice Merry Christmas 🎅 🎄
Everytime I think I'm going to cancel my UA-cam premium... there's that Dr. Carter video that I didn't know i needed. Thanks for the healthy hoover & reminder Dr. Carter ❤
Phony. Phony-ness. That's what THEY are all about. When THEY "phone in" who THEY are, (read as: inauthentic) - Don't answer! Pick up line 1. "Healthy" is calling! Stay Healthy!!
What exactly is a narcissistic collapse? What does it look like when they self destruct? Is it an awakening? Is it a mental breakdown of despair? Is it becoming so selfish and difficult that everyone leaves them? I see so many videos of HOW they get to that point but not what it actually is.
As I understand it, it is a full blown realization of who they are and where they stand. Not in a diagnostic way but they feel there is something wrong with them. Happened to my ex for a very brief time. The issue I have is that it is virtually indistinguishable from what the abused victim might feel, persuaded by the narcissist that all is victim's fault. That is why so many people ask under such videos: Am I the one? The answer is: no, if you actually fear that. They have those same feelings of desperation, abandonment and aimlessness, it can even occur to them that they are somehow needing a fix, start a therapy, but for all the wrong reasons. They don't fear being a narcissist at all, it is an impossible thought for them as they are too good, important and near perfect to be THAT broken.
My understanding of narcissistic collapse is that it’s the point at which all of a narc’s tactics and defense mechanisms fail him/her. They no longer appear attractive in looks or personality. They can no longer fool others with their double-talk and rhetoric. They are no longer successful in attributing their problems to the actions or inactions of others. Their attempts to deflect personal accountability are abject failures, and they are left alone with the consequences of their poor attitudes and decision making. This phenomenon seems to occur most noticeably in elderly, dependent narcs.
I’m seeing this happen with my neighbor. Since September she’s been essentially living with a friend as she can’t bear to be alone. She tried to hook me back in but I nipped it in the bud and immediately gray rocked her. She has depression and I think that she’s been experiencing narcissistic collapse as she ages. Shes in her late 60s now.
Excellent. Speaking with great precision. Their behavior becomes more understandable when you consider the documented alterations to the physiology and physical brain structures among narcissists
Sorry Sandra, I'm in the same boat. It's like an epidemic these day and the internet is partly to blame. My son and daughter are in their mid 20's and won't speak to me and have not told me why. I'm going to continue to try to make contact with them and praying. It's good versus evil. Love versus contempt. And someday they need to realize that their perceptions were formed erroneously need to be reshaped.
@@lauracoussens6207 "To know love is to know trust; to know oneself is to know truth." cc. 2020 Not very many replies or likes since 2020. What does that say about YT commenters?
@@Standingfirm777 They believe they know. They pretend to know--- that is because they emulate and "know all about" these qualities. "To know is to be authentic."
One thing that I noticed is how dishonest a relationship like that is. I wondered why I struggled to see myself as a unique individual. Now that I have put distance between us (they don't like it), I feel more me than I ever have. I'm finding new things about myself that I didn't know. A large part of that was because I stopped making my life about them. They take the energy.
MY X HUSBAND/NARCISSIST WAS ANGRY WHEN I FIGURED HIM OUT & STARTED TO PUT DOWN BOUNDARIES HE WOULD SLAM DOORS YELL AT MY CAT MUMBLE UNDER HIS BREATH ETC..... HE KNEW HE COULDN'T BREAK ME FOR A SECOND TIME SO THE SMEAR CAMPAIGNS BEGAN HE TRIED TO TURN OUR KIDS AGAINST ME (THEY'RE ADULTS NOW) HE TOOK PERSONAL THINGS FROM ME FOR ME TO REACT I HELD MY MY COMPOSER & THAT MADE HIM ANGIER HE TRIED EVERYTHING FOR ATTENTION BUT FAILED MISERABLY I WAS MARRIED TO HIM FOR 27 YRS. I WAS REALLY BLINDED BY ALL OF HIS NARCISSISTIC BS HIS REJECTION WAS MY STRENGTH TO FINALLY MOVE FORWARD (THANK GOD)
Love the examples, needed to laugh . Thankyou for your presentations. They are definitely therapeutic and easy to understand . I have a genuine appreciation of your videos❤
This video and the number of views and likes really gives me hope for humanity at a time when so few people seem to have the capacity to take responsibility for their own true nature.
They’re not self-aware about their own issues/trauma/insecurities but they’re perfectly aware of what they’re doing to you and how much pain they’re causing.
Life with narcissistic behavior (Covert) is like a bungee cord bouncing all around 😵💫💯. Under the roof of 'super doom', constant boundering of distance is my value, but sometimes "running interference" can't be avoided .....
10:52 Don't beat yourself about it. Indeed. Although thanks to channels like this I've gotten a lot better at sussing them out quicker. Oh and, Trust Your Gut! Now that I think about it, my gut has never been wrong....
I had a student who complained about a B. Thought they should have had an A. I pointed out the many ways they had failed to comply with the requirements of the syllabus that we had gone over the first day of class. The Dean lowered it to a C. Lol.
What a sad and lonely life... as much as they damage, and cause others pain this pales in comparison to the damage and suffering they cause themselves.
Some of them are actually quite "successful" at finding others to go along with their agendas, rising in society, gaining leadership status over others, genuine societal power and wealth. All of these things further empower their controlling natures AND attract sycophants to do their bidding. Unfortunately. :-( They do not all self destruct.
I've been listening to Dr. C for a couple of years. Learning a LOT. I've written about this before, but over time I keep see different aspects of it. Wasband was a flaming narcissist, the vulnerable kind. Like my mom. When, after 18 years, I was completely used up, I told him I was done. He really, really didn't like that. And he committed suicide, as he'd threatened for years. Yet, so far as I could see, ALL of his many problems in and with the world, HE CAUSED. His self-destruction was inevitable, because he NEVER took responsibility for his actions and beliefs. In my own misguided way, I probably sheltered him from many of his just repercussions. Exhaustion caused me to quit. Stubborn commitment to his narcissism, well, took him to self-destruction. Yet, if he'd ever given me even crumbs of kindness, appreciation, respect, care, I probably would have hung in there. He could not. And now I can say, too bad. But the sun is shining here in my life. I never, ever, take it for granted.
Thank you for sharing your story. My wife and I have a similar story involving someone on her side of the extended family who was the quintessential vulnerable narcissist who also committed suicide when his self-destructive patterns finally caught up with him. This was about 12 years ago. We both saw it coming but were unable to change it. I wish you well as you continue to grow and learn.
We truly appreciate your videos. Please give Gus a big Christmas hug for me! Our family wishes you & your wife & children a happy New Year & a safe holiday Season!
Thank you, Joanna. We're planning on having a good time here at our home with family members, so the outlook for a good Christmas is good! I wish the same for you as well.
In the television show called, "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys," the goddess, "Discord," was presumed to be the mother of "Strife" ... even though Strife never actually referred to Discord as being his mother. But, I always felt sorry for Strife. He had a very miserable life. I think that the moral of that part of the story was that discord (or chaos) always produces strife, and that strife is a miserable condition in which to live.😕😥😕
OMG! Mine is non-believer, but the 1 time I took him to church, he saw someone from his work & proceeded to pretend WE were trying to find a good church to join, having just moved to the area. Totally made himself out to be a believer & good church-going guy, faking his way thru the conversation. I was appalled & just stood there, so embarrassed before God, standing there in church! I said nothing, just watched in silence as he BS'd the higher up guy from work. I told him afterwards that if he ever did that again in God's House, I'd blow his cover. Needless to say, he never again went to a church with me & I quit asking.
Input versus output. If you eat more calories than you use then it's weight gain! Muscle is more metabolically active than fat and burns more calories even when you're not exercising. The muscle cells also remove sugar from your blood- a win win. True video.
Dissonance is a polite way of saying delusional. A narcissist with ADHD I know blamed his poor eating habits and weight gain on this time of year. If he was honest with himself, his junk food and binge drinking habits are perennial.
I have learned a great deal from you for how to handle my husband. I think I stuck it out to protect other family members. I left him several times but always went back due to situations. Now he has so many health problems but he is really trying to stop his horrible actions. It has been a nightmare of a ride for sure. I unfortunately had a breakdown due to his actions on Thanksgiving at my Sons house and now I’m banished. My heart is so broken. I don’t know what to do. Any ideas ?
You started this video that I’m really laughing with how narcissists are if they would be honest. Thank you, I’m going to have a nice sleep now. My dog is already in the arms of Morpheus
There's an issue with the sound on this video - your videos are usually crystal clear, but there's some interference on this recording. Apart from that, as always a very helpful video, thank you ❤
Ok, I have questions about cognitive dissonance. Example. Everyone has lied in their lives. At least once. Does this mean no one can say to be honest people? I can’t understand if this is the right way of looking at it
They fear solitude. Yet, their behavior toward others guarantees it.
So true. Not only are they afraid of being alone, but they are also scared of you enjoying solitude.
Another gem, Aaron.
Yeah they ultimately create what they try so hard to avoid.
Reverse perverse 💥
Oh my word! My sister just called my mother everything under the sun then said dont any of the family show up at her death bed and also complained how she is the only one left out! Its funny - but its not. I knew she just wanted connection but she sure goes about it the wrong way.
They don’t fear solitude , they seek justification , they already have solitudes!
They are cruel and disrespectful, but if any one treats them as anything other than Royalty all hell breaks loose.
It doesn’t even cross their mind this is what is destroying and adding to the collapse of the relationship.
Narcissists believe they control the destiny of others which is a denial of the sanctity of the soul inevitably leading to their demise. Not hitching your wagon to a narcissist's vainglorious, self-serving blasphemy is the ultimate sign of courage and true character.
Thank you for this reminder.❤
SPOT ON, NOTHONG BUT THE TRITH!!!
Spot on! I unhitched quite some time ago when I found out the truth and won't let him control me anymore, call him out to his face every time he tries to gaslight me! Sick twisted people!
Wow, good way of wording it concerning controlling the destiny of others.
@@brucefriedman1 magnificent gratitude beautiful SOUL, hoping Ur safely away and happy. I'm free 9 months now, divorce is next 💖💖💖🎉🎉🎉
It’s very interesting that they judge your reactions to their abuse as unprovoked action that is in one way or another bad or intolerable, yet apply the exact opposite “thinking” to their own actions, viewing them as reactions to something you did and therefore you caused their behavior.
Many years ago, I was going out to dinner with my narcissistic father at least 1 time per month. I figured if I was low contact that he would be nice to me when we met up, but I was wrong. He insulted everything he could about me such as my military service, my college education, my job, my physical appearance, and my car. I decided it was time to go no contact with him after he got upset at me for getting a newer used car because he couldn't laugh about my old junky car. I love myself too much to put myself in an abusive situation anymore.
@@rwdchannel2901 Thank you for your service to our country. ❤️🇺🇸
My father was like this, too. After 20 years of CBT, I'm still a work in progress, but confidence comes from within. They only get to you because you let them. You striving for achievements, for them, will never get admiration from them, even though you've wanted it your whole life. I drive a 21 year old car (I have a new Porsche too but my father doesn't know about it). I don't know if that helps at all. My psychologist has me aiming for B- (B minus) instead of A++.
@@SirenaSpades It was disgusting how my father planned on saying something mean to me when we went out to dinner. This one time he says out of nowhere 'How's your GED' because I got a GED in high school and had to take summer school to get my high school diploma because of his negligent parenting. I went to college after I joined the military and graduated, but he didn't know that. He was planning on saying 'How's your GED' just to get a reaction out of me. I said to him 'I graduated college' and he was quiet. Another time I said to him it's hard to find a job because I was working as a security guard during the 2008-2013 financial crisis and he laughs and says 'Maybe you can be a security guard the rest of your life.' It was basically that same crap every time we went to dinner. I started using Grey Rock Method on him when he tried to pull that crap on me and he started ghosting me because he wasn't getting the desired reaction. I went no contact with him after he ghosted me.
@@rwdchannel2901 I think that he was right.
Yes he was certainly on to something!
Respect is a word they don't know the meaning of.
@@DaisyRenee713
The true meaning of respect as it applies to others, no, they have no concept to be sure. However, they will always demand it of you?, and they will be as "kind" as to have an entire "play book" and instruction manual how you are to respect them.
Dont you dare deviate from it or their wrath will fall upon you...
They are so compulsively fearful that they will never dare to admit they have a problem, even if everyone, including their own children, leaves them. No matter how clearly people see their true nature, they will persist until the end of their days in claiming that it’s someone else’s fault.
Yes, they will even try to use multiple factors such as blaming a child's health condition for their problems, not realizing that millions of other people may be in the same boat as them but are thriving. When the children become older they will then focus their attention on blaming their children's significant other for all their problems, etc. I always refer to their ranting as "the sales pitch." What the narcissistic ranting is all about is trying to sell others a narrative of how they want them to perceive reality, when in fact there is nothing based in reality. It drives me freak'n nuts! A simple way to deal with it is be saying, "I don't care!" Don't just say it, do it! If not you'll see years of your life wasted listening to their garbage when it could have been better spent somewhere else, or on someone else.
When I think about the good times, it grieves me. And when I think about him being alone, it breaks my heart. 😢💔 He needs me ....but when he treats me like crap, it rips my heart to shreds and I have to leave. Then, he turns it on me as if I'm wrong to leave and I'm always welcome to come back ....and I did ...hundreds of times ... apologizing for my broken way of reacting/responding to him. But he never apologizes. My apologies just confirm to him how right he was.
It feels like he doesn't care to grow and overcome these issues ...like he can always point the finger back at me when things go south.
I've finally set boundaries and have told him I'm tired of the hurt... that I am focusing on my relationship with God and healing, and suggested he do the same bc we can't keep repeating the cycle. I told him that God isn't requiring me to stay in that environment. I am to wait and pray. The rest is between him and God. But waiting is hard ....I truly love him. 😢❤💔
I am happy to hear you refer to a narcissist as a con artist. I have used that term myself or scammer.
The ultimate con artist!
that is the entire personality. they dont actually believe they are the best, they just conduct fraud to hope others believe it
Totally… it’s “who” they are… Just listen to their speech; watch them butter people up for their own use or To get Adoration … etc etc etc
They aren't looking for a healthy relationship. They want relationships which benefit them, build them up and profit them. They want assets, so you'd better be an asset, or you'll be sorry.
Unfortunately, they don't tell you these rules of engagement up front. Sometimes you only find out much later that this is what they meant..
Brilliant. It never ceases to amaze me how clueless they can be to their own dysfunction.
They understand little in reality, never willing to learn and change and live in a bubble of self image and validation
Unable to learn anything cuz' they think they know everything + are afraid to try new things for fear of - OMG! - making a mistake. After out of school, main way we learn is mistakes teach us...either our own, or other folks'. I guess when you criticize everyone for everything, you have to worry about getting same criticism back that you dish out!
Besides... we all know that Narcis are NEVER WRONG -- just ask them! LOL
I love that! They Actually Understand Little…. It is really true. There is No Wisdom, No learning from Mistakes and Blind to Self….
I come from a family of narcissistic people on both sides. They tend to live forever just to spite you or die of a long illness which they enjoy while draining others. I didn’t truly believe that I would survive the parents, but now I have & just feel like death warmed over @ 66
I’m so excited for this premier. I have JUST recognized I have been dealing with a narcissist after years of therapy, alcoholism and rehab, realized I have been blaming myself and hurting myself in order to bend into whatever the narcissist wanted me to be. No more. I have a life and I will live it. Happily. Goodbye toxicity in my life. You have no space here
It’s sad that most therapists cannot recognize the elephant in the room… but it keeps you coming back for more therapy 😉 you’re in the right place to make tracks now!
So happy for you. I hope someday to feel so empowered.
Never get tired of hearing this story/journey over and over again!!
They are very good at appearing different from who they really are. I did not see it at the beginning, but as I got closer to the narcissist I started seeing some unhealthy patterns. At first, I made excuses but then when I learned about narcissism, things began to make more sense with what I was dealing with.
I still feel angry with myself at times wishing I would have exited the relationship much earlier when I saw the early unhealthy patterns. It seems like wasted time with someone I did not need to make time for.
At least you did get out. May you learn lessons from it & enjoy the rest of your days! 🫡
@Jessica4492-rj3zg - good comment, and about the anger, too.
In physics ENTROPY means disorder and instability, a narcissist entropy increases as they age given their disorderly patterns of living inevitably resulting in their own demise.
Excellent analogy.
And the random loss of energy, instability and disorder always increases. 2 Cor 10:5.
In my family they live to over 100 or near as they can hang on!
Great analogy!
Exactly.
Excellent find!
Negative entropy which is the source of unity, integration, organic growth, creation, peace and order is based on wisdom, love and empathy, something that lacks in narcissists.
Toxic and evil are things I called him for years, even before I knew about narcissists. He can suck all the joy out of life just being around him. Want to leave but he has made it very difficult. I distance myself from him as much as possible, but get anger and rage when I do. Feel numb most of the time. Thank you Dr. C for your videos, they have helped me learn how to survive.😢😅
Same here. I refuse sex now, and after he yelled at me to stop moving one time. I feel repulsed. I can’t do it anymore. It would feel like a betrayal to my self respect and dignity if I did. Now he sits around and sulks.
It may help to realize that he'd sit around and sulk for some other reason, if he WANTS to sit around and sulk.
Yes, toxic & evil is right! I know exactly how you feel being married to my anti- husband 43 yrs.! Most of that time he worked overseas. I had to learn to completely emotionally detach from him, it helped me to not be hurt from him anymore! I call him out now when he tries to gaslight me or cross my boundaries. I pretty much do my own thing and ignore him as I know he is toxic and completely unable to have a normal healthy and stable relationship. They are a empty soul in a human shell. 😮
@ I’m married to mine for 19 years. He’s kept me isolated the whole time, but more so the last eight years, and things have gotten worse. I’m settling boundaries and taking steps to change that and it’s really bothering him. I can see the desperation in him sometimes, even over the smallest of things.
They always have an excuse for everything that they screw up, and it usually doesn't involve them being responsible for it. It will either be someone else's fault or another external problem that one cannot find a solution for. They will be like this before they have children and afterwards, but will then use their children as another source for making excuses. When the children become adults the sources of blame will then be passed onto the significant other of their children, etc. It's a pattern that never stops. Before you know it ten years have passed by and they're still constantly making excuses. There is always a drama going on. They need constant attention but also deflection at the same time.
Cognitive dissonance explained so well. Thank you, Dr. C.
It's a curious thing that these kinds of people seem to believe that the solution to what is for them the intolerable problem, of other people getting away from them because of their bullying and abuse, is to increase the intensity and frequency of the bullying and abuse, expecting that this will somehow reverse the direction.
good example of another reason to name it "Crazy- making" imo, smhow
They are total idiots and fools, having the emotional maturity of a five year old child!
Great to see that Gus is there supporting us. I really appreciate your channel Dr C. ❤
Every time my narc parent thinks she's winning by cutting me down she doesn't realize she's losing more and more of the sense of duty and obligation she instilled in me in childhood. She's burned so many bridges she has to mine me harder and harder as supply but as an adult who's worked on herself it doesn't work the same as it did on an 8 year old.
I hope you have plans in the future to leave this toxicity. The Lord doesn’t want us to allow people to wipe their feet on us. God bless you and keep you !
For me it is about recognizing that behavior and learning how to protect myself from it..
The bosses and coworkers ruined my previous workplaces. They wreaked havoc there due to their behaviors. As a consequence, all good people got out of the job.
🏃🏃♂🏃♀💨💨
Same
Same.
Yes, I went through that, it was awful.
I can see the facade my husband has put up for years is now being exposed publicly, his anger, controlling, all of it. It was on full display this past weekend.
My mom, A month ago. She threw me under the bus and I am stepping away.
We are not going to the fake, happy family Christmas.
Both of my adult daughters are coming over on Christmas Eve and we're having a sleepover.
Focusing on those who actually make an effort going forward.
This is the best Christmas gift I'll ever get, and it's probably the last time it will happen.
You should separate. God doesn't want you abused. These narcs will destroy you.
Self-destruction is a double-edged sword: on the one hand, you ignore your true needs, which is a violation and slander of your own feelings, and at the same time, you hurt the people around you through pretense and cover-up.
The beginning illustration reminds me of the last session we had with a marriage counselor. She had asked what I wanted from a good marriage. After I shared my views on a healthy marriage, Mr X said - - - " That's boring!!" We are getting divorced now, and it's been a nightmare. But I can see so much better from a distance the things that kept me confused while I was with him. I'm grateful for your videos, Dr C.
I wish you the best as you move forward.
Dr C. thank you so much for all you do!!! They ultimately self destruct to a world of loneliness, because they inevitably run out of bridges to burn. And they still don’t get it!!! Can’t or choose not to self reflect. Truly sad and mind blowing!!! 🤯
Merry Christmas to all.🎄 🙏
Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born unto us a child is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
If I didn't have the Prince of peace to guide me, I would have lost my mind way back from the narcissist anti-husband!
My narc mother is 94 years old and she's still wreaking havoc, and creating chaos with no signs of self destruction - yet.
In my family they lived to over or nearly 100. I see narcissistic people happily living into old age as they wear their children & caregivers out. There’s always someone around to enable them & they know it. I wasn’t in contact with my father once we got him into a VA facility but I thanked his nurses when he finally died @ 92… they thought he was so nice, while I was just hoping he wouldn’t get kicked out! It’s a long road to hoe with these parents & don’t expect a reward in their will afterwards
Yeah, sometimes it's gonna be their next life when it turns around. Waiting sucks. Not witnessing the fall sucks too.
Wait...her death will be awful. That was my experience and others I have read.
@@mday3821 Sad but true on both counts. I don't want her to feel all that negativity when she passes, because she's completely unaware of the ongoing repercussions.
As they age, it only gets worse
I remember 'discussing' with a narc what might be wrong with a toilet that wasn't working right. Neither of us are plumbers. But no matter what I said about what might be wrong with it, she simply shut my ideas down because she 'had a lot of years experience working with toilets!'. Yet I was older than her, and the idea that I MIGHT have even MORE experience than she did or know more about fixing toilets than she did, didn't even enter her mind! She didn't even entertain the thought, the possibility. In other words, there was no REASONING going in with her, just a fixed state of mind.
You just described my mother. Perfectly.
They default back to what they knew first out of a false comfort, and that is self destructive.
These videos are so spot on! I give this man credit for the eternal peace I have enjoyed after hearing so many of these following years in the presence of one of these amazing creatures of habit. Fortunately for me, and I thank Dr. Carter for letting me know, I have had no familial obligations to ever be in the presence of this individual again and that -- end all contact -- seems to be the best of all therapies! One thing I enjoyed about this video -- cracks me up -- I used to observe as the individual in question would volunteer to near-total strangers, friends and clients as well, how he could teach them his system for being as spiritually enlightened as himself. He is now divorced, what a surprise. I love these videos -- they have provided much needed healing for me as I'm sure they have done for many countless others.
Thank you, Dr. Carter, for all your inputs and advice, we receive from on a daily basis. Must of us, viewers arrived smuggled, sick, confused, and tired, now we are 'team helthy' May God continue to bless you. A huge hug to our Gus since he is an important party of our team. Merry Christmas ❤
You are very welcome
Dr. C: You never cease to impress me with your honest, truthful information about narcissists. As I continue to delve into narcissism after years of therapy and going no contact with my family (2 & 4 yrs. ago with 2 siblings) I
just find it quite unbelievable that the depth of the disorder is so toxic! Thanks to videos like yours 13:45 😢
that confirms my own experiences, I can sleep tonight.
Thanks so much, Shirley.
Thank you too Dr. Les Carter. Bless your heart and mind God gave you to help us all. Merry Christmas and have a wonderful and a Happy New Year to you and your loved ones.
This is a very nice video on how narcissists think and how it causes relationship fallout. As someone with both narcissistic parents, I found myself baffled trying to understand why they think like this. I think that real phobia of being who they are was instilled in them and constantly reaffirmed during their life. Their core belief is that they are inherently flawed and that core belief makes them flawed. They cannot be just regular human, but in reality that is the only thing they can be. This is where I think cognitive dissonance comes from and why they constantly pretend to be better than they are to make as many people believe it is true. They early on give up this pretend with family members, bc it is simply too draining to overperform all the time. That's why they keep this persona for outside. It is baffling to family members that they are treated inhumanely by these individuals when neighbors and acquaintances get to have the good side. It is in a way a complete split of personality to good/people-pleasing and evil/selfish, but since they cannot admit to even having an "evil" side, they forget/deny/project the evil things they do. At least that makes sense to me as an explanation.
They are delusional it’s so frustrating
Yep,you're right. I'm sure glad I don't have to worry about dealing with him anymore. I'm better off living single. He's not a good person.
My wife had a very long email exchange with her brother and funnily enough it ended up very similar to this absurd scenario you presented. It led to a couple of live confrontations that led her to realize she never really knew her brother and she’s grey walling him now. In turn, he plays the role that he chose well and barely talks to her due to his need to feel disrespected and unwillingness to compromise on his perceived maturity. He honestly acts like an inexperienced method actor who believes an entire production lies on their skills alone and eventually gets fired and replaced by an experienced lead that cares. Thanks for the videos!
Glad the videos resonate. I wish you and your wife the best.
I found learned the best way to not deal with a narc is go quiet. Ignore don’t respond. Go to another location. Slowly plan your exit Mine was awful to me over years. But now he’s 71 and terrified of being sick or dying. Nice to me nowadays because I flipped the script of going gray rock. He relied on his mom for years then I let my empathy suck me in to help him. I’m useful to him but he’s aging and he’s in good shape but his mind is getting convoluted. Friends dying off others have grown tired of his using them. Soon I’ll be gone and I’m sure he will be lost.
Thank you Dr. Carter. You have helped me and so many others. I wish you and your wonderful family a healthy and blessed Christmas and 2025! ♥️☝️❤️🎄🎁
The hardest part of watching these videos is it is your life of abuse that you are receiving and there just does not seem to be any hope on getting out. They have in such a position that you can’t. Not without having to suffer even further
Especially in fiscally financially avenue 🤙
Yes
Thank you Dr. C.
Im older He's older, it's been a long long, long waiting game with no change no healing, no moving forward only going in circles and more controlling than ever. Christmas has always been exausting. Now I'm on a peaceful sabbatical accept for the phone attacks.
Peace is so nice Merry Christmas 🎅 🎄
@@Elany.lyon1388 Enjoy your Peaceful Christmas! 🎄☃️🛷 Truly, a gift! 😊
Everytime I think I'm going to cancel my UA-cam premium... there's that Dr. Carter video that I didn't know i needed. Thanks for the healthy hoover & reminder Dr. Carter ❤
So pleased!
Phony. Phony-ness. That's what THEY are all about.
When THEY "phone in" who THEY are, (read as: inauthentic) - Don't answer!
Pick up line 1. "Healthy" is calling!
Stay Healthy!!
You can’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
Love your videos. They are so helpful to me. Thanks.
Thank you Dr. C and Gus always
Happy Monday Dr. C and Team Healthy! Season's Greetings! 😊❤🕊🎄🌍
What exactly is a narcissistic collapse? What does it look like when they self destruct? Is it an awakening? Is it a mental breakdown of despair? Is it becoming so selfish and difficult that everyone leaves them? I see so many videos of HOW they get to that point but not what it actually is.
As I understand it, it is a full blown realization of who they are and where they stand. Not in a diagnostic way but they feel there is something wrong with them. Happened to my ex for a very brief time. The issue I have is that it is virtually indistinguishable from what the abused victim might feel, persuaded by the narcissist that all is victim's fault. That is why so many people ask under such videos: Am I the one? The answer is: no, if you actually fear that. They have those same feelings of desperation, abandonment and aimlessness, it can even occur to them that they are somehow needing a fix, start a therapy, but for all the wrong reasons. They don't fear being a narcissist at all, it is an impossible thought for them as they are too good, important and near perfect to be THAT broken.
But hey, my immediate thought: what a nice narcissistic reasoning I just put there. This is surely just my way how to rationalize.
My understanding of narcissistic collapse is that it’s the point at which all of a narc’s tactics and defense mechanisms fail him/her. They no longer appear attractive in looks or personality. They can no longer fool others with their double-talk and rhetoric. They are no longer successful in attributing their problems to the actions or inactions of others. Their attempts to deflect personal accountability are abject failures, and they are left alone with the consequences of their poor attitudes and decision making. This phenomenon seems to occur most noticeably in elderly, dependent narcs.
I find your podcasts are not only insightful but also amusing...👍😅
Glad you like them!
I’m seeing this happen with my neighbor. Since September she’s been essentially living with a friend as she can’t bear to be alone. She tried to hook me back in but I nipped it in the bud and immediately gray rocked her. She has depression and I think that she’s been experiencing narcissistic collapse as she ages. Shes in her late 60s now.
Excellent. Speaking with great precision.
Their behavior becomes more understandable when you consider the documented alterations to the physiology and physical brain structures among narcissists
Still waiting.....
Alienated from my 4 adult children.
The gift that keeps on taking!
Sorry Sandra, I'm in the same boat. It's like an epidemic these day and the internet is partly to blame. My son and daughter are in their mid 20's and won't speak to me and have not told me why. I'm going to continue to try to make contact with them and praying. It's good versus evil. Love versus contempt. And someday they need to realize that their perceptions were formed erroneously need to be reshaped.
Best wishes to both of you anyways. You deserve better. Hold your head up and keep asking God for help and strength.
@@lauracoussens6207 It's spiritual warfare for sure ⚔️
God bless you 🙏
@@rg-mi5hh Thank you kindly ❤️
I know God's in control and He is just!
God bless you 🙏
1) Love 2) Trust 3) Honesty.
Just a little respect is also lacking & when combined with misogyny it’s deadly
@@lauracoussens6207
"To know love is to know trust; to know oneself is to know truth."
cc. 2020
Not very many replies or likes since 2020.
What does that say about YT commenters?
These three attributes the narcissist knows nothing about!
@@Standingfirm777 They believe they know. They pretend to know--- that is because they emulate and "know all about" these qualities.
"To know is to be authentic."
@@carefulcarpenter Absolutely. He sure fooled me way back!
One thing that I noticed is how dishonest a relationship like that is. I wondered why I struggled to see myself as a unique individual. Now that I have put distance between us (they don't like it), I feel more me than I ever have. I'm finding new things about myself that I didn't know. A large part of that was because I stopped making my life about them. They take the energy.
YES.. they do self destruct alright.. I love your apricot shirt Les.. it so suits you!
It's hard to feel sorry for their destruction though. Just saying...
You and I
Disagree there, well maybe in the moment!
Seeing their destruction is not easy. It's not easy to see anyone self-destruct. I pity anyone that can find joy in someone else's downfall
MY X HUSBAND/NARCISSIST WAS ANGRY WHEN I FIGURED HIM OUT & STARTED TO PUT DOWN BOUNDARIES HE WOULD SLAM DOORS YELL AT MY CAT MUMBLE UNDER HIS BREATH ETC..... HE KNEW HE COULDN'T BREAK ME FOR A SECOND TIME SO THE SMEAR CAMPAIGNS BEGAN HE TRIED TO TURN OUR KIDS AGAINST ME (THEY'RE ADULTS NOW) HE TOOK PERSONAL THINGS FROM ME FOR ME TO REACT I HELD MY MY COMPOSER & THAT MADE HIM ANGIER HE TRIED EVERYTHING FOR ATTENTION BUT FAILED MISERABLY
I WAS MARRIED TO HIM FOR 27 YRS. I WAS REALLY BLINDED BY ALL OF HIS NARCISSISTIC BS HIS REJECTION WAS MY STRENGTH TO FINALLY MOVE FORWARD (THANK GOD)
Love the examples, needed to laugh
. Thankyou for your presentations. They are definitely therapeutic and easy to understand . I have a genuine appreciation of your videos❤
So exhausting! Thank you for offering life-saving support.
This video and the number of views and likes really gives me hope for humanity at a time when so few people seem to have the capacity to take responsibility for their own true nature.
Your Awesome!!
Clarity and Focus has just entered my Brain!
I really needed to see this Dr. C… thank you 🙏
This pattern cost us a 40 year marriage and alienation of our three children. Like living with a short fused powder keg.
A self aware Narcissist doesn't self destruct, they know what they are doing by causing the destruction.
They’re not self-aware about their own issues/trauma/insecurities but they’re perfectly aware of what they’re doing to you and how much pain they’re causing.
Life with narcissistic behavior (Covert) is like a bungee cord bouncing all around 😵💫💯. Under the roof of 'super doom', constant boundering of distance is my value, but sometimes "running interference" can't be avoided .....
10:52 Don't beat yourself about it. Indeed. Although thanks to channels like this I've gotten a lot better at sussing them out quicker.
Oh and, Trust Your Gut!
Now that I think about it, my gut has never been wrong....
I had a student who complained about a B. Thought they should have had an A. I pointed out the many ways they had failed to comply with the requirements of the syllabus that we had gone over the first day of class. The Dean lowered it to a C. Lol.
When the narcissist destroys a mans home life they also destroys his work life as well! He then has no will to do Both!
What a sad and lonely life... as much as they damage, and cause others pain this pales in comparison to the damage and suffering they cause themselves.
The negativity with these people is strangulating! Run for the hills!!
They are evil and demonic run away as fast as you can no contact forever
this was very useful thanks
You're welcome. Glad it was helpful.
Some of them are actually quite "successful" at finding others to go along with their agendas, rising in society, gaining leadership status over others, genuine societal power and wealth. All of these things further empower their controlling natures AND attract sycophants to do their bidding. Unfortunately. :-( They do not all self destruct.
I agree Carol....it's the victim of abuse that winds up completely destroyed
You’ve helped me tremendously doc thank you.
So pleased!
I've been listening to Dr. C for a couple of years. Learning a LOT. I've written about this before, but over time I keep see different aspects of it.
Wasband was a flaming narcissist, the vulnerable kind. Like my mom. When, after 18 years, I was completely used up, I told him I was done. He really, really didn't like that. And he committed suicide, as he'd threatened for years.
Yet, so far as I could see, ALL of his many problems in and with the world, HE CAUSED. His self-destruction was inevitable, because he NEVER took responsibility for his actions and beliefs. In my own misguided way, I probably sheltered him from many of his just repercussions.
Exhaustion caused me to quit. Stubborn commitment to his narcissism, well, took him to self-destruction.
Yet, if he'd ever given me even crumbs of kindness, appreciation, respect, care, I probably would have hung in there.
He could not. And now I can say, too bad. But the sun is shining here in my life. I never, ever, take it for granted.
Thank you for sharing your story. My wife and I have a similar story involving someone on her side of the extended family who was the quintessential vulnerable narcissist who also committed suicide when his self-destructive patterns finally caught up with him. This was about 12 years ago. We both saw it coming but were unable to change it. I wish you well as you continue to grow and learn.
Good for you, getting & being free from that. You seem to have a good handle on it. Wushing you peace & joy all the days of your life.
Thank you.
We truly appreciate your videos. Please give Gus a big Christmas hug for me! Our family wishes you & your wife & children a happy New Year & a safe holiday Season!
Thank you, Joanna. We're planning on having a good time here at our home with family members, so the outlook for a good Christmas is good! I wish the same for you as well.
In the television show called, "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys," the goddess, "Discord," was presumed to be the mother of "Strife" ... even though Strife never actually referred to Discord as being his mother. But, I always felt sorry for Strife. He had a very miserable life. I think that the moral of that part of the story was that discord (or chaos) always produces strife, and that strife is a miserable condition in which to live.😕😥😕
This is so accurate.
Thank you Dr. C. Excellent
Glad it was helpful!
My husband, my in-laws, my neighbors.
Hi Dr c and gus watching your videos from Devon the riviera coast
My goodness...I'd like to join you there!
I went to church with my narc husband yesterday and he was singing away and shaking people's hands 😂 he thinks he's gods right hand man😮
OMG! Mine is non-believer, but the 1 time I took him to church, he saw someone from his work & proceeded to pretend WE were trying to find a good church to join, having just moved to the area. Totally made himself out to be a believer & good church-going guy, faking his way thru the conversation. I was appalled & just stood there, so embarrassed before God, standing there in church! I said nothing, just watched in silence as he BS'd the higher up guy from work. I told him afterwards that if he ever did that again in God's House, I'd blow his cover.
Needless to say, he never again went to a church with me & I quit asking.
Input versus output. If you eat more calories than you use then it's weight gain! Muscle is more metabolically active than fat and burns more calories even when you're not exercising. The muscle cells also remove sugar from your blood- a win win. True video.
Ayyye Wzup Doc!!! Anothing Pure Gold Topic and talk.
Amen. Thank you 🙏
Hello Dr. Carter. Your posts always have my full attention but I have to admit I always look if Gus is there too. 😊
You're not alone!
***Dr.C, please do a video on how two narcissists can be married for a long time.
I never understood this. ***
Collapse is just one part of Narc Boss's cycle: she ghosts me or sends "tasks" 5 minutes before I sign off.
They'll call you a sabotager if you don't play their games and finally put your foot down on their shenanigans!
I have a family member that keeps our whole family at odds with them because of this problem. We keep trying but it just doesn't make a difference. 😢
Dissonance is a polite way of saying delusional. A narcissist with ADHD I know blamed his poor eating habits and weight gain on this time of year. If he was honest with himself, his junk food and binge drinking habits are perennial.
Cool vibes, join me, this community Rules, i seen the chat, the comments,the questions, my Gus my Doctor, bam another country, this is strength
How long does it take b4 they self destruct? 😵💫
I have learned a great deal from you for how to handle my husband. I think I stuck it out to protect other family members. I left him several times but always went back due to situations. Now he has so many health problems but he is really trying to stop his horrible actions. It has been a nightmare of a ride for sure. I unfortunately had a breakdown due to his actions on Thanksgiving at my Sons house and now I’m banished. My heart is so broken. I don’t know what to do. Any ideas ?
🙏 🙏 🙏 ❤
I feel like giving up today. I need a way out so badly.
Don’t give up. If I made it out, anyone can. Stay strong. ❤️🙏
You started this video that I’m really laughing with how narcissists are if they would be honest. Thank you, I’m going to have a nice sleep now. My dog is already in the arms of Morpheus
There's an issue with the sound on this video - your videos are usually crystal clear, but there's some interference on this recording.
Apart from that, as always a very helpful video, thank you ❤
Ok, I have questions about cognitive dissonance. Example. Everyone has lied in their lives. At least once. Does this mean no one can say to be honest people? I can’t understand if this is the right way of looking at it
After a narc mother, a 34 year marriage to a covert narc, I won't be doing anymore relationships!
I noticed a lot of people on UA-cam talking about narcissists. I wonder how many of them are legitimate psychologists?
If they have Dr in front of their name.
I'm not an enabler..therefore narcs always zero in.
Gus❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤