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Every Totino’s Ever - SNL
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- Опубліковано 15 сер 2024
- On the big game day, an unnamed wife (Vanessa Bayer) has one thing to do: feed her hungry guys.
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Vanessa really masters the whole “smiling but dead inside” acting. She’s pretty amazing lol
I miss her on the cast so much :(
+calbassas87 Nancy Pelosi does the "smiling but dead inside" bit very well too, and she's not even acting.
I think it's just how dark of a brown her eyes are. She sure is cute though.
BoppoB is she not part of the cast anymore?
reminds me of melania
"What's your name?"
"I've never had one"
Brilliant writing.
Yeah this has nothing on Frost or HDT.
No cause she was called Honey the whole time
Monika Ciapala That has literally nothing to do with the joke, nor does it even make sense considering she just said she never had a name.
This is almost as good as the lesbian brokeback mountain from mad tv!
@@monika2745 dude he's right you aren't funny
I never put together that the "I never had one" line wasnt just random, they never actually gave her a name in the first two sketches.
Sure they did. It's "Babe."
"they never actually gave her a name in the first two sketches" Or in any of the ads they reference
How do you know that though?
Her name is Babe.
Also, I think there weren't any football noises in the first sketch, which they played with in the second one
"doesn't your wife wanna watch the game?"
"nah she has an activity pack"
*sticky hand intensifies*
@@kenjiyamashita9226 nope I phrased it just right :) I know what I did
That last one never gets old. I still crack up when she speaks French.
She majored in communication and French
Et toi. Tu es mon Totino.
@a te I'm sure they got a te by each other
i was not expecting ANY of that the first time i watched it.
I love the Totino dragging across Kristen's bare skin. Every detail of this sketch is perfect
"Draw me like one of your hungry guys."
Underrated
Lmaooooooooooo
When she rubs the pizza roll on Kristen’s face...
Oh my hunger guys. ( ･᷄ὢ･᷅ )
It's the Totinac
These skits combined are a real emotional roller coaster. Drama, horror, romance, activity packs, they tell a story that has it all.
They do, indeed, have everything. Everything her HUNGRY GUYS need for the BIG GAME!
Notice that no more Totino’s sketches were made? *I have a theory.* After Sabine ignited that flame of passion inside of her she left her husband & now lives happily with Sabine (who’s independently wealthy). They spend all day drawing, painting, making love & of course, eating delicious Totino’s pizza rolls! 👍🏻
I like the way you think.
I fully believe in that. 🥰
Vanessa Bayer was the lynchpin of that sketch and when she left the show, she pretty much took the sketch with her. It's also very likely that she wrote or co-wrote the Totinos sketches.
Some say her husband is still sitting on that couch, increasingly starved and wasting away, his voice cracking as he eeks out one final "Babe...more Totinos", before collapsing.
In the background, we see a single postcard from Paris on the refrigerator slowly come into focus. It says: 'Au revoir, fucker".
Someone needs to make a Sabine+Vanessa fanfic.
In the first skit we see her husband's friend Steven checking her out and taking an interest in her. She later goes on to divorce her first husband and marry Steven. In the last skit we see how Steven has fallen into the same habit of dismissing his wife. She then has an affair with his friend's sister.
Hopefully Sabine never takes her for granted like her hungry guys did.
elines acevedo no...Sabine will cherish her
Idk, I’m pretty sure she’s in Hell
Take advantage she’s making totinos get a grip
You must have some bitchin book report skills
@@kelvarnsen1749 lol
When Sabine says, "What are YOU hungry for?" makes me tear up a little after watching all the other Totino commercials beforehand. She finally found someone who values her. LOL! God, I'm a sap!
No, I felt that way too
Finally someone cared!!
So romantic xxxx
@@Grayvorn it is💙
It’s not gonna work out...Sabine doesn’t like totinos nor is she a hungry enough guy.
BigHeadConnor
I know right? They actually invoke real emotion! Haha
They lied about Totino‘s, I bought mine last night and I’m still not kissing Kristen Stewart and speaking in French.
Well that’s because Kristen Stewart appeared in the Torino’s 2-Pack commercial, you must’ve bought the regular kind
“That’s a shame.”
Did you buy it during the big game?
Do you have a name?
If not, you aren’t the right one.
Or maybe, just maybe, you got the one with the activity pack. You need to wait for a couple of years and get the two-pack Tortinos...
Did you feed your hungry guys first?
That was French?!
If totinos actually made commercials like this I would buy them out of stock
That’s because corporations are cowards
totinos, totinos, hot pizza rolls
yeah look at the tim and eric one
Just email Mr Plinkett's webzone and he'll send you some in the post.
Like #1K
I heard somewhere that every lesbian music video has a water scene, and I’m here to point out that the Totino scene with Vanessa Bayer and Kristen Stewart satisfies this requirement
@Bri Ba
I love French.
Wow, this is deep. Now all the things you said, all the things you said, are running through my head, running through my head. All the things you said.
Omg that's so right tatu all the things she said- they were soaking wet under rain /girls like girls- i think there was a pool scene/ i kissed a girl... Wait i think there was no water scene in this one
I was expecting the pool guy or neighbor to walk in. But this works as well.
Haley Gruensfelder isn't that just a really on-the-nose metaphor for female arousal?
I stan Unnamed Totino Wife
That Stan is one lucky fella.
you have the greatest username I have ever seen, just needed to mention that
I can't believe you titled this "Every Totino’s Ever" when "The Totino's Trilogy" was. right. there.
More of a saga, really
@@cleverusername9369 Or the Totinos Cinematic Universe
I'm so glad she ended up with someone that appreciated both her and her Totinos
LMFAO
Before this skit I never knew I had a Kristen Stewart fantasy
Erin L English I think we all do at this point
@@quinnaddison420 yeah but this skirt definitely awoke something in me
Me too. I didn’t know I liked women.
You're a weird female
@@mr.stealyogirl4078 You ain't gon steal her girl tho.... When they french kiss, it's 4 sets of lips (2 above the belt and 2 below). The southern kiss tends to be the wettest kiss. That's a lot of lipstick too, depending on lip size. Don't usually see southern lips get the lipstick too often, but they've been said to prefer any type of stick. But basically, you got no southern lips.
I cried at the end, when she finally found someone who deserved her, someone who appreciated her. All she wanted was to please someone, who in return, wanted to please her.
Now why am I crying
@@MarinaAndTheDevil because this shit is real af... 😢
It was really lovely
*activates cheery voice* Hi! You want to find someone who doesn't treat you like a piece of trash? WELL! Now with Totino's extra saucy flavor, you can! ;)
Are y'all actually crying? 😳🙄
OMG, I didn't realize that Vanessa and Kristen are literally five feet behind the guys all that time. What a great way to show these guys are oblivious to women.
Bro, they're watching the big game. They don't have time to focus on anything else.
Awww, look who got the joke!
oblivious to what now?
I love when she walks into frame & smacks the fridge with the sticky hand! 😂 "For grown women ages 5 & up"
That last Totino’s skit though…it’s a better love story than Twilight.
This is an underrated comment.
EP114587 Memes never say die. 😏
Way more chemistry than Twighlight, too!
@@viracocha No
Bro why is that even a thing- Twilight is a good series
The music in the third one is actually pretty phenomenal
ua-cam.com/video/dYz1iXXtPlY/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/ONo9m7FGYEU/v-deo.html
So is the acting, the lighting, the directing....
The third skit is what “blue is the warmest color” always wanted to be.
We don't speak of that movie 😭
I managed to sit through the other changes...then I got to the end
It really earned the Festival of Cans award.
I was wondering what that scene was referencing. I haven’t seen it, but it does seem like it’d be a source of inspiration.
@@pashadyne I saw a couple of Lady Snowblood movies a few months ago (from 1973 and 1974), and I don't remember they had lesbian scenes (or even any reference to it). If I remember correctly the manga on which the movies are based does have some kind of lesbian content.
A true trilogy. The struggle for recognition, drifting in an unfamiliar and unsure world and finally, redemption. I was always a Tony's man when it came to pizza rolls but, no longer. It's Totino's and Edith Piaf from here on out.
When did M. Night Shyamalan start directing Totinos ads?
I'd say after the first one he took over with the last 2
What a twist!
Thanks to me its 666
Lama ding dong
MY HUNGRY GUYS!🍕🍕🍕🔪
I can’t believe none of her marriages work...
Hey only one failed. The other just had a small x files momento
Plot twist, she's in hell forced to make totinos in different scenarios forever.
I mean she never finishes her job of bringing the refills.
cause she gay, Daniel
Bopa Bola She did cheat on the second husband.
The third one is one of the most wonderfully surreal sketchs ever. Absolutely hilarious.
7:00 when she stroked her cheek with that pizza roll I laughed myself into a coughing fit 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Can we just talk about the hidden plot of the affair and the stolen wife
Absolutely. We can absolutely talk about that.
The plot? Someone left something important in the car then the ladies steal the car, now ones looking for 'the stuff', ones looking for his car, ones looking fir his sister and the other us looking for his wife😄
She has a history. She leaves her first husband and marries his friend. Then she cheats on him with a woman. It wouldn't surprise me if she cheated on her first husband. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! TOUCHDOWN!!
The last one reconfirmed the fact that men are clueless XD
Lady at 5:13 "ahahaHAAA!"
She knew where the skit was going
Me
The knowing laugh of a Gay in the wild
What a great skit trilogy. Usually when they make sequels they're too similar to the original skit but these were all so different. Good writing
And it's so amazing they were able to do it every Super Bowl for three years straight and have Kristen Stewart for the third one. It's one of those magic moments in the universe.
I really wish Vanessa was still on SNL just so they could keep the whole Totinos thing going when Kristen Stewart hosts this weekend.
Et toi, tu es, mon Totino.
That's the most romantic line I've ever heard. I need somebody to treat me like that. 😍🥰😘
Ozamatazzzz Buckshank!!! Cuz ya know we're going to win against the eeeast!
@@carolynnalvarez7032 Can't block me and all of that jazz, cuz y'all don't want none of this Ozamataz!
@@ozamatazbuckshank. hahah love that, me and my kids know that by heart.
Somebody propose with this line, or include it in your wedding vows 😂🥺
Does it mean. Something like and you are my Torino?
If I hear the words "my hungry guys" one more time im gonna lose my friggin mind
What if you read them?
"My hungry guys"
Sometimes you and the boys have a long day and when you get home you’re a little cranky. You just need a snack. Totino’s Pizza Rolls make a great snack at the end of a long day.
I’ll throw some in now and before you know it, I’ll have a delicious treat...for my hungry guys!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was being driven slowly insane by that lol.
MY HUNGRY GUUYYYYSSSS
I heard you like hungry guys.
Vanessa's acting in all theses skits - especially the last one where she falls in love - is off the charts. I really hope she makes it in the real world; she deserves some great roles, from comedies to drama!!
I'm glad it ended on happy note for the Totino Girl. She very much needed a win.
3:21 Hope I’m not interrupting the *big gay*
Foreshadowing the last sketch
Marina and The Devil OH
Why do you think they’re all smushed together on the big couch 😏
BAHAHAHA
💀
Game 1: makes Totinos
Game 2: divorces first husband, married guy from first game, possible attacked by clones
Game 3: Lesbian love affair during game
Totinos are really exciting
But Frank, your play-by-play isn't.
Frank The second one reminded me more of Body Snatchers because they are all of one connected mind
You have no idea: ua-cam.com/video/2lPX5b9m7ro/v-deo.html
Game 2: Daedric incursion, also a possibility.
I think that the nightmare was her waking moment of clarity/nightmare that’s she’s trapped in a cycle of neglect and Totinos. More of metaphorical approach.
She keeps going from one husband to the next but she finally found what she needed
The Kristen Stewart Totinos sketch is hands down one of my favorite SNL sketches.
"I should bring these out" "No.. stay with me" 😂😂😂
My heart sank when all those pizza rolls hit the carpet
You can still eat them the hull is for Protection
@@A_Toastonawhiteplate haha. Self contained protection.
Awwww fumble!
The second one legitimately had me creeped out.
The third one reminded me I’m bisexual.
yep that pretty much sums it up for me, too
lmao same
same but im pan
I was waiting for something to pop out ... :/
I was scared to see the ending of it.
I'm not bisexual, but if Kristen Stuart looked at me like that, I might have to rethink my life choices.
I lost it when she slapped the sticky hand on the refrigerator lmaoo
It was the 3 x 3 word search puzzle for me 🤣
The Totino-verse is better than the MCU.
I cant wait for the TCEU
Thomas the tank engine-verse is better than the MCU
yootoobnewbie what a stupid comment
I don’t understand the hate for the MCU like 3 months ago it was fine like wtf happened
Issei Otosaka the lack of lesbians
Kristen Stewart looks hotter in this skit than in her movies.
Especially snow white
Probably because her mouth is closed for most of this skit, lol
Right? So funny, I never thought of her as attractive until an SNL Totino's skit? Lol.
1000% agree wtf
She looks damn good in that one family feud sketch too
IMO Bayer is one of the top three women in the show's history. SUCH a solid performer.
The cultural impact of the Kristen Stewart one is unmatched
"Every Totino's Ever"
That sounds like a Smosh video.
I was looking for this comment ngl
Making me cry rn
RIPOFF!!
Richie Scassellati yeah but unlike smosh, this is actually somewhat funny
@@whackle7378 smosh and snl are both funny at separate times
Dang, I miss Vanessa.
One of the most under-appreciated cast members. Just as talented as Cecily and Kate.
@@hansok77 you're right
Go Rhinos!
@@ozamatazbuckshank. Let's go out here and get this win!!!! Woooooo Rhinos!!!
The "I've never had one" joke is so much better when you learn that it is actually part 3 of a trilogy where she's never had a name
Whoever directed that last skit needs an Emmy. 🥰
First one: stereotypical sexist commercial
Second one: Await Further Instructions 2
Third one: cute lesbian love story
beautiful
I hope she’s happy with Sabine
Dave Gordon totinos
They probably have a nice cottage somewhere in France.
@@nooba220 -- a Tostito is a lesbian Totino.
I just love how she says “my hungry guys” I don’t know why but it just cracks me up. I think it’s because of how she looks when she says it 😂
I think it's the fact that you can practically see the saccharine dripping off the words as she recites them.
The last skit is simultaneously adorable and hilarious.
the last one is simply a masterpiece
"et toi, tu es mon totino"
They made a collection as if the KStew one isn’t the only Totinos skit that matters.
FUMBLE
That's high level Cinema right there, people.
I never knew there were two more of these before this one, or that this was something of a series. That makes the last one even better.
onemoment That's what makes it funny when she says she never had a name because the husbands call her by her pet names like honey and babe.
Please do not ever say anything as cringey as "KStew" again.
*grabs scissors* "Now cut it out!"
underrated pun
it's also foreshadowing the 3rd sketch
wow, this is actually one of the best directed, written and performed SNL sketches ever. Im super impressed.
What’s your name? “I’ve never had one” 😂
I love the French one with Kristen Stewart. I think I learned something about myself that day.
1:14 underappreciated detail you can circle pretty much any 3 letters and find a word
the last one seems like the perfect ending for the sam wife finally gets what she wants trilgoy
I like to imagine that the husband walks in to get his Totino's only to find his wife making out with his best friend's sister.
I hope so.
And he takes the Totino's and walks out, without even noticing. Cause he's definitely that kind of character.
He doesn't need to take a single step. If he just turned around to look he'd see whats happening.
I’ve seen that one
Cookie Cake LOL
Lolll, the activity pack.
Ben Houston open another one
With one Totino's roll lmao
"for grown women ages 5 and up"
Look I found a HAT!
Why is it that the one thing that made me laugh out loud in days was seeing her all happy while she solves a 3x3 word search 😭😭😭
That last one won a bunch of awards at the Cannes film festival
Why is Bernie Sanders watching TV with an angry music teacher?
Because life is a cartoon and SNL reflects that.
Max Hammerum
Lmao Larry David called Bernie Sanders, should be an SNL sketch if there isn’t one around
@@canaisyoung3601 More like because America is a giant cartoon, and always has been. A joke that is really an enormous nightmare at its core.
He's his cousin
He is once again asking for Totinos
“Awwwwww Fumble”
TheProjectionist go go go touchdown!
Thank you for the dayshift at Freddy’s reference in the name and image
6:37
Get the fuck outta here... I’m not ashamed of how beautiful I find this 😂
6:50 "They're gonna punt. They're gonna punt. They have to".
I'm dead.
The mockery of the inherent sexism in ads like that... perfection. I'll never understand how that became normalized. The guys are capable of throwing that stuff in the oven, and she can go do her own thing!
Because of around 100 years of women soley in servitude in the kitchen in homes as men became wokers at jobs that had endless hours n such instead of being farmers or self employed otherwise due to mass amounts of big businesses thriving and needing a workforce, that, along with advertisers manipulating the understanding of the nuclear family and its place in society.
I love spoiling my husband and his mates for the big game. Gives me a chance to try new things.
@@drewdolce like making out with another woman while eating totino's
What really angers me is how there's a black dude in there.
@@spongebobmx Bait.
Vanessa Bayer is a freaking treasure. Effortlessly hilarious performer.
"but.. what about my hungry guys?"
🤣💀😂
i'm just glad the totino lady found something to be hungry for
Vanessa was underrated
She was never the star, but she was the necessary supporting one.
I miss seeing Vanessa on SNL. She does wonderful, memorable work.
one of my all time favorites...poetry teacher forever
The X-Files one is so creepy
Right!
Timothy Verheyn Jr. spot on parody though. Way too much happens in such a short period of time in those “Big game snack” commercials
It's so funny but ever since I first saw it I've been plagued by how stupid she was to yell at her daughter, instead of like.. laughing it off and acting casual and going upstairs to whisper to the daughter and sneaking out the back. It's like every horror movie to be fair, it's very valid 😂
Elliottt They know what she’s thinking, so acting casual would not have worked.
@@assmane999 Do they? Is it based off a movie I've missed or something? Oops
My favorite will always be the Kristen Stewart one but “WHATS HAPPENING TO MY HUNGRY GUYS” made me die
The way her voice breaks as she sinks to the ground, too perfect 😂
Yo when she gets that pizza roll wiped on her face...i just couldnt anymore...im in tears😂
“Ok, ha ha, very funny, Stephen, now cut it out...”
*picks up scissors*
Oh my God we need another one of these this year
How could they possibly top the third one?
@@christianschoff2490 - have the husband's friends run a train on the wife since he's not very attentive
@@corpsiecorpsie_the_original god damn.
The acting in the last one is so good!!
"What's your name?" "I never had one" Loool I'm dying 😂😂😂
I'm happy she finally found love
Vanessa Bayer has such a huge, psychotic smile. I wonder why she never did a parody of The Rachel Ray Show.
Is anyone else weirdly happy that that one guy in the first one asked if she wanted to watch the game with them? Just me?
If you look around the comments, the theory is that she ends up getting together with him because he husband in the first ad isn’t paying any attention to her (although in reality probably just the limits of SNL casting) and then history seems to be repeating itself when Sabine turns up. It’s all a little David Nicholls’ “One Day” if you’ve read it: we only see a snapshot of her life a year at a time, through the prism of the Super Bowl broadcast.
This has way better character and story development then it needs to
“Cut it out” (holds pair of scissor)
I'm Sabine, what's your name?
I.. I never had one.
"What about my hungry guys?...-what are you hungry for?"..... LOL i am dying! 🤣
@1:42 omg - I remember when those were so in! 😆
I really miss Vanessa. She is so versatile!
She has almost exactly the same lines. So versatile!
@@jnorriect I think, you need to see her other sketches.
@@jnorriect First of all, her delivery changes within each sketch -- the stereotypical "happy housewife" facade cracks and reveals the quiet desperation of a woman in a loveless marriage in the first one, she goes into straight-up terror in the second, and plays a love scene in the third.
Second, while her tag lines are constant, they're just the theme around which she weaves different variations of dialog, even switching languages, in the three sketches.
This is comedic GOLD.
I miss her too, always thought she was way funnier than Kristen Wiig
Husband #3: "Babe what's taking so long with those Totino's, you making out back there!? Hahaha..."
Wife and K. Stew: *making out*
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fat guy next to him: “dude, you’re crazy!” 🤣🤣
“What’s your name?”
“I never had one.”
Classic !
"what's your name?"
"I've never had one."
☠️
Mon mari a ses Totinos. Et tu. Tu es mon Totino.
Would it be ma Totino? Ma Totina?
You have awoken me
@@LeviathanLP According to my duolingo knowledge: Yes. I was thinking the exact same lol
@@rubberduck697 "ma" and "mon" are based on the gender of the object, not the speaker
@@LeviathanLP nah it would stay masculine...mon totino...french rules
First five seconds: "the fuuuuuuuuuuq"
Last five seconds: "this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen"
I love how at one point in time she left J.K. Simmons' character for his friend and it was never acknowledged
Imagine being so iconic that you get a compilation of your skit. Vanessa is so good! 🤣