Setting Limits With The Strong-Willed Child in 15-Minutes.wmv

This short video discussed important concepts in setting limits with strong-willed children. A more detailed discussion can be found at: www.MakingRoom.net

[@MCGamerD]

Lots of good tips. "Put books on shelf, dirty clothes in hamper" versus "Clean your room." I'll try it.

[@jeffreycurtis1092]

So far the most accurate common sense parenting. The most important part has been left out though. That is that BOTH PARENT SEE EYE TO EYE WITH IDENTICAL ROLLS.If they're out of balance it will crumble.

[@HangInOutInCa]

I like the "action speaks louder than words." That is so true, no bargaining, just Game Over.

[@johndiamantidis8016]

There is no need to hit/spank your children.

[@HangInOutInCa]

@@johndiamantidis8016 10 years later...

[@pw1669]

Yes, my 5 year old grandson who came to live with me said "who made you in charge?"

[@VanettaMosetta]

This would be so much better if it gave more examples. It's good to know WHAT to do, but HOW to do it.

[@neysisanchez2546]

Very useful.

[@suzannelerner1]

Thank-you! This was really helpful.

[@luvgjb4evr]

Thank you!

[@agnediciuniene9861]

So, what should the consequence be? For example he defies getting clothes on, we need to leave the house. He runs, shouts and hits to avoid getting dressed. What should I do?

[@msdpamela]

Is there a clear set of requirements for what you want him to do and clear consequences? Do you repeat the question in a firm manner (broken record)? Do you follow through with he consequences or give up in frustration? Forced choice- to make the responsibility theirs: I would like for you to put on your shirt and pants by the time the timer goes off. You can put on your clothes now in the time given or I you can take longer and choose to take that time away from: playing tonight or etc (whatever preferred activity is, but it has to be something they have a vested interest in. It in someways is a natural consequence as one loses opportunity cost- whatever you spend time doing in one activity takes away from another)? OR Don't respond to unwanted behaviors outside of firmly responding with your requirement and the consequence. Keep in mind, things always get worse before they get better because a child who needs power and/or has formed a pattern of behavior will test you to see if you are serious or if they can still continue with their behavior.
The key is clear brief expectations; clear set consequences stated beforehand, and follow through. I would suggest establishing this at a time when he is compliant and calm. And finding out what is proceeding the behavior? For example- are you telling him to go put on or change his clothes when he is in the middle of doing something he likes (i.e. playing)? Perhaps he needs warnings. Ex: Johnny you have twenty minutes to play, when the timer goes off I need you to go out on....and get his okay- have him repeat back in his own words how much time he has, when it stops, and what he needs to do. But within that 20 minutes, at five minutes before, remind him what the next steps are. Some children have difficulty with transitions and need time to process and prepare.
Just suggestions- these have worked with some of my students and nephew who has autism.

[@sandrapaim4107]

Wonderful

[@robertcao8484]

Good information, but there are other options. God Bless!!!

[@Nothingbutthevoid1]

Works great with husbands too! And patients, and students lolol

[@msdann71]

My child verbally abuses me, throws fits and argues non stop when he is given consequences. He's 11. Please help! Advice? Links that may help?

[@js-tu7iu]

Strong willed kids are evil