7 Ways Narcissists Ruin Holidays by Lise Leblanc
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- Опубліковано 8 чер 2024
- With Christmas just around the corner, learn how to prepare psychologically for the common ways that narcissists try to ruin holiday celebrations. In this video, I also provide my best tips on how to respond to a narcissist when they do what they best… try to steal everyone's joy. If you prefer to watch without humorous clips from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, click on this link: • How Narcissists Ruin T...
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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on UA-cam are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach and reassure without revealing private information about individuals.
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Introduction (0:00)
3 Reasons Narcissists Ruin Holidays (1:10)
7 Ways Narcissists Ruin Holidays (6:05)
How to Deal With Narcissists During Holidays (9:59)
#NPD #covertnarcissist #narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic
3 reasons why narcissists ruin holidays
1-need for control.
2-intense need for attention and validation.
3-lack of empathy.
7 ways narcissists ruin holidays
1-attention-seeking behavior.
2-create drama and conflict.
3-guilt tripping.
4-breaching boundaries.
5-setting unrealistic expectations.
6-using manipulation tactics. (silent treatment, gaslighting, emotional blackmail)
7-insulting and offending people.
how to deal with the narcissist during the holidays.
1-don't invite them if possible.
2-don't engage with the narcissist.
3-focus attention on things that matter to you.
Decided to not visit any family this Christmas.
Best Christmas ive had in 44 years. Thought itd be depressing.... Instead it was peaceful... Then around 7pm, the neighbors invited me over for the most enjoyable holiday dinner ive had in..... 44years...
My spouse's family has sabotaged the one thing he's wanted to do Christmas Eve every year for the past four years. I finally convinced him to do Christmas Eve with our family only (us and the two cats). It was lovely and he really enjoyed it. Tolerable day with his Dad and family the 25th, chaos with his Mom and some family the 26th. It gets worse every year, but at least now he is recognizing he can at least put limits on time and type of visit to minimize the stress.
His mom and siblings all create the drama, get sucked in to the drama, and expect us to tag along. They expect us to tolerate getting jerked around with constant changing last-minute plans and demands because we don't have children. Nope, we are a family too, and can make plans for ourselves.
Over the years the trouble makers quit getting invited to holiday events. "Whoops, sorry we forgot to tell you."
I'm jealous. I wish it was that way with my holidays.
“Lex Fridman is dangerous” 18 min inspirational video on UA-cam ends w the poem “if” by R Kipling Which is best, Law abiding citizen, forest gump, green mile 51st dates Hancock click or Stepbrothers?
“Lex Fridman is dangerous” 18 min inspirational video on UA-cam ends w the poem “if” by R Kipling Which is best, Law abiding citizen, forest gump, green mile 51st dates Hancock click or Stepbrothers?
She should do a video on long term self isolation from childhood trauma
Tried to do this to my uncle for thanksgiving. He showed up anyways. So I literally had to tell him he wasn’t invited for Xmas dinner. He wouldn’t be so bad but him and his wife can’t go five minutes without arguing and that shit kills a good time.
They do get very agitated during the holidays! and can cause trouble out of the blue! I had noticed this pattern. Any kind of birthday, anniversary, any holiday. Would always be a high watch time. And I would always get ready LOL
Same I noticed that too
And it’s always your fault that there’s an argument or a fight.
My covert narc wife would get "sick" on big occasions. She'd "sprain" her ankle. Sometimes she'd even get physically sick so I'd have to leave and take her home. Its only looking back that I realise she never once got sick or injured at any other time over the course of our relationship. Just when there was a big occasion. It happened probably 8 times over 6 years. All on special occasions. That's not a coincidence.
You know it dude. It was unreal how she got sick, hurt, injured or even how her dog would get crazy anxiety out of no where or other pets would get sick too. Also, huge fights happened the evening before almost lasting til morning somehow. It's bananas to think back to that period now. Pure insanity.
Alot of that is due to having bad childhood experiences from their own narcissistic parents. More than likely she's a vulnerable narcissist where she's afraid to be in social situations where she's judged, compared or called out on their behavior.
They don't like any occasion that takes the attention away from them!
My husband too and strange my best friend ruined this Christmas 🎁 what sadness she got hurt or said she got hurt and claimed she was having grief as well.
But here is the key I see is.
Misery seems to love company.
Wow so so true
Only 8 times in 6 years? Hmm. Most narcissists do things like this a lot more than that. Like evert single special occasion, holidays, birthdays, funerals....like 8 times or more a year.
My oldest brother, Bill, was like that. It seemed that his motto in life for everyone was "If you can't make someone feel bad, why talk to them at all?" If he saw me having a good time he would go out of his way to sabotage it. He was a horrible narcissist.
Most honest narc I ever heard of.
been there done that, next
This explains why celebrations turn out to be an utterly miserable experience.
When i was 17, when asked what i wanted for Christmas, i said "one day with no fighting, yelling, ect"
10 mins in they literally were screaming. Qhen they saw how distraught i was, they literally all went from being at each others throats to laughing.... Im serious.... They can get along... To laugh at n emotionally attack the family loser they never wanted.
Oh yes… ..first day we could not accept the rented car, it was not comfie enough. Then we tried to connect the Ipod for half an hour. The rest of the week was a huge fight over almost everything. So much anger. 🤮
Ugh, my mother would have some blow up argument with me over some bullshit every holiday season. It made it so bad that I hated the holidays for a time. Now that I've learned to let go of everything, I see it for what it is: the lady vestiges of control finally slipping through her fingers and her losing what little of her mind she had left.
The narcissist behavior I started noticing was playing victim when they’re clearly doing whatever nonsense being mentioned.
Because I’m close with her family she will often “ban” me from attending, show up extremely late to mine, and inflict mountains of stress on everyone around her. It’s all control. God forbid we ever all had a good time while she was disregulated. I’m taking my ball and going home. Now nobody can play!!
My ex would bring gifts and dessert to my family’s gatherings. Everyone (including me) loved that she was so kind. I failed to understand that it was all about love bombing, and trying to be the center of attention. Once the relationship jumped to the devaluation stage, she didn’t even bother showing up, always claiming that she was “too busy with work.” No one there mattered to her anymore, as if they meant nothing. But I also noticed that every Christmas party in her small family would end up in fighting, in which she always blamed others.
licmir can you advice me on whether to tell my sister that suspect her boyfriend is a covert narcissist, she just started dating him about 4 months ago and i very strongly suspect he is a covert narcissist, my sister has ocd and anxiety and i dont want this guy to cause her harm but i dont want to cause her harm by throwing her into a depression as i think at the moment her mood is higher than it was before meeting him and on the whole i think she is better off, but i see he is starting to use guilt blame her for how he is feeling drained of energy since he met her, speaking fondly of another woman he meets sometimes in the park (triangulation), calling her stupid, idiotic, telling her she is going nowhere, etc etc, this combined with compliments, gifts, taking her own dancing, ect, what to do, please advice
This entire explanation is really far away from any LOGIC and it looks to me like it stems from
FeminiSS kitchen- where many many things are explained in tragicomic way and out of logic.
Narcissists deeply enjoy
Social events
Superficiality of social gatherings
Spending partners hard earned mony on her constant public presence
Creating as much as possible those events as they do her Social promotion but cut down victim's Financial manovarability and trap him deeper and deeper in her financial web......
...
Then question
If you look carefully:
A VICTIM is :
Confused
with lots self esteem
Exhausted
On the brink of emotional colaps
Often abused financials and by Guerilla actions
...so... HOW SUDDENLY THAT PERSON Wants a house full of people !; Party; fun and celebrations ...
To me it looks much more Logical that a Narcissist wants to pretend that we don't have any BIG AND SERIOUS ISSUE here to address - and some big changes to make ....BEFORE any celebrations will take place.
So... To me this looks totally upside down... And stupid. To believe that a Victim needs celebrations and Narcissist wants to interrupt them .
It's best to stay out of relationships..They offer nothing but abuse..Modern Western society is a ClusterB travelling circus..
@@Samanthax1221talk to her with respect, understanding, love and assertive communication ❤
Also, it can be a decades of hell for her otherwise
Thank you Lise. My dear covert narc wife is single handedly organising outings for the holidays and for once in a long time, she called to give me instructions about the booking of an SUV for me to drive the family to the location. Never involved me in the decision making process before. I can ensure you that the only reason why she did is because she doesn't have a valid driver's licence to book the car herself. I am kinda between the rock and the hard place as to going for the sake of the kids or pulling out of the plans altogether, while I can. Merry Christmas to you all ❤
My brother is the narcissist in my life. He plays passive-aggressive games and I don’t want to be anywhere near him on Thanksgiving or Christmas.
It's my whole fam damily
And they're not fun or funny.
@@DebbieLee-dr3hr It’s awful.
You're a monster mr Grinch, your heart's an empty hole, your brain is full of spiders, you've got garlic in your soul... *hums while being completely Narc free on the 3rd year*.
I used to hum if I only had a heart 🤖 🎶
the only holiday a nark loves is their birthday. all about me me me, all eyes on me me me, look how important me me me is, gifts just for me me me, vomit.
"Do not take the bait."
Yep. I already see several pitfalls layed out for us this weekend...little flaws to pick apart instead of embracing the abundance and blessings of being together.
Thank you for posting and sharing. It helps me to realize that I can't fix someone that wants to be broken.
Crazy I started to notice this pattern about two years ago when I was with my ex. Who is a covert narc. And has BPD. Every year around her birthday and holidays would she get extra anxious and start lashing out at me. And I did nothing wrong nor knew anything was up, until I would get home from work. I messed up yesterday in getting in a huge argument with her about our daughter. I haven’t argued with her in over 2 years in learning about covert narcs. And how they move. Looking back at it today she got the reaction outta me she wanted and is trying to mess up the holidays. So thankful I have these types of videos to lean on and learn from, and knowing that I’ll do better from here on out
98% personal experience. This time, not on the guest list, I gave notice I would be elsewhere with my family who lives out of town. This person assumed it would be a different location than it was (location was intentionally kept secret). Thank you for this video. Thank God, this was the best solution this time.This is the first time in years to have an undestroyed Christmas.
My mother would always find a way to become unavailable for holiday get togethers. For Christmas this year she started with the passive aggressive texts baiting me while I was at work only a week away from the actual holiday. Her reasoning was that she didn't hear from me for a week...
Fun video: loved the Grinch edits. This is the 3rd video in a row, and I don't know how you didn't appear on my feed earlier. I've been through hell and back and leaving my narc after 2 years. Yes, YOU are special by addressing female narcs. And you do so in ways that are so insightful and very well laid out. I have to say you are one of those therapists that are far from the middle of the graph and beatifully placed among the few excellent ones. Thank you. Men need this a lot right now. I do have to point out that my GF, her sister and mother are completely antagonized by her dad(who happens to be a cop for over half his life; can you imagine the hell that is a male narc with actual -albeit relative- power?) His daughters can be absolute monsters. I'm one of the few people who managed to ward off the long game because I had to understand why, in 44 years on this earth, a person appears who displays acts so unexplicably vile, I had to do intense research to finally learn about NPD. So I recognize that a woman empath in the 'hands' of a man with NPD is so bad, I can only think of suicide(sorry about the sharp turn as the desperation is unimagibable) due to how absurdly evil these people can be. But so many men with good intentions and kind hearts need help as well and I thank you in the name of everything I hold dear(Christ, Humanity, my cats; all the fluffy animals who deserve a loving home, and Life in general) from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for your valuable service for Humanity by using your talent and intellect to make the world better. The world needs more.
Your videos and looking behind the mirror saved me. Broke up with my narcissist earlier this early. Didn’t need therapy , needed to understand my narcissistic experience
I lived with one for close to 15 years. Every single event was ruined with his tantrums and complaining about every single thing. Holidays have been so ruined for me... and I've been divorced for 10 years now. I tend to keep to myself and don't want to participate with anyone on holidays. I prefer to work and keep my mind busy instead of the stress I endured for years. I don't really know how to enjoy them. 😅
They are the worst at accepting presents. "You didn't have to get me that, I know your struggling financially" Just major vibe killers lol
I have a friend who wouldn't stop giving me gifts. I clearly stated my boundary and then ended the relationship after they attempted to push me into receiving gifts. I went no contact 🎉
😂😂😂😂😂😂 my wife told me not to buy her anything any more.
Exactly.
@@just_bee9482 good. She probably knew she didn’t deserve it anyway.
@@leonardlisa8318 I didn't understand at first. I had to learn everything pertaining to narcissism the hard way without being able to put a label to it. You can imagine my frustration. I could tell from the beginning that I was dealing with an unconventional girl, or human being for that matter. I have always said that my biggest frustration came when I realised that she was simply not teachable. That's when I knew that I was in it for the long haul. In 13 years, she has gone from bad to worst and there isn't much I can do about. So sad!
Wow, my covert ex’s favourite Christmas film was The Grinch …now I realise why, thanks Lise!
I'll keep this in mind over the Holidays!!!! Thank you Lise.
Just today(Christmas Eve) my wife is changing our settled yearly plan day before…who do we visit? My side of the family. How many times has she done this with her family? Never. I’m hoping a video is in here about what to do when you have kids with one of these types. I was trying to understand why she has no empathy…ended up here watching I believe now my 6th video. Great channel!
Watch out for the surprise ‘pop up’ at the family get together. That 1 family member who visits out the blue just to be messy. 🤦🏾♂️
Good advice.
Lise, your advice is simple and clear: "Don't allow the Narcissist win." That's easier said than done, especially when the the said Narcissist is the host of the gathering...A better approach may be how would one prove that you are in the Narcissist's corner but that there might be certain scenarios where the Narcissist may need to pipe down such attitude for the sake of the entire party,
One year of a relationship and every holiday was destroyed. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Memorial Day even, and the one vacation we took. They absolutely cannot do special events or holidays. More evidence that they all use the same playbook and are controlled by the same evil entities.
Merry Christmas, Lise! And thank you for your wonderful help!
Thank you 🙏 for great advice and support. 😊Happy Holidays! God bless you❤
Thanks so much for the explanation and advise. I took in virtually every word. I've been falling for the narc' in our family over and over for years. Let's see how it goes over the holidays. Hopefully I've wised up and won't bite!.
You’re videos are great! Thank you 🎄
My narc sister who lives far away always calls a few days before a holiday or right on the holiday. Example: She called my mother on Thanksgiving and started crying and hysterically yelling at my mother for being a horrible mother and that she destroyed her life, you never call me, blah, blah, blah! She rarely calls any other time. We know what’s coming and dread it.
Thank you. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for solid advice, and awereness to an important topic, as always. Merry christmas!
My narc mom ALWAYS ruined family things/holidays growing up. Every single time she would pick fights with my dad and me and then spend the entire 2 hour car ride screaming at us until our days were ruined. I stopped going to family things all together around the age of 15-16. I didn't have any kind of relationship with anyone I was related to other than seeing each other for 2 hours on Thanksgiving and Christmas each year, so i didn't feel bad just skipping it. Then she decided my birthday was the day to ruin. I have high anxiety and don't like a lot of attention in public, so of course she would draw lots of attention, make the restaurant sing to me when she knew I hated it, get so high she was nodding off in her plate of food at the restaurant, etc. Then as I became a full fledged adult, she would magically "get sick" the day before my birthday, need to be "taken care of" ON my birthday, and then magically fine again the next day. Last year I decided I was doing my own thing on my birthday with my friends and she wasn't invited. Sure enough, the day before my birthday she comes and says "what do you want to do for your birthday? I'm feeling pretty sick so I don't have the energy to do much..." I cut her off and said "that's ok, I have plans that night so you can have plenty of peace and quiet to rest up and get better." She threw a full tantrum. 🤣
Thanks for all the good advices
Thanks Doc! Merry Christmas and a Happy Boxing Day to you!
Merry Christmas Lise.
Your pop cultural references are fabulous! Have a beautiful Holiday, beautiful!
Thank you for your information 🌺🌿Only now I understand it fetch both Christmas and New Year 😘when I saw your information. God bless you🌺🌿🇩🇰
I really like your videos. You have a lovely voice too. This video is manuals for holidays. Thank you. And Merry Christmas to you and your channel.
Thank you for your positive words and holiday wishes, I truly appreciate it!
Love your videos.. thank you
you saved my life last year
My half older sister ruined every holiday for me and her daughters and her husband.
Merry Christmas Lise...! 🌟🎄😇
Thanks so much 🎄 🌟 😇
Inserting the grinch was excellent. lol. Sooooo fitting.
My children have started insisting they are going to be doing most of the work to make holidays enjoyable for us all. That is way better than me having to cope with someone who is only at first covert in how much they hate Christmas. Sometimes a female covert narcissist goes for years and years and years without revealing that part of their nature. Up until they can be no longer head chef with the best Betty Crocker home image there. I used to clean house for men and women like that who only resented needing any paid help at the time. Thankfully 99% of clients who need home care home making help are not like that. The minute I entered their turf nothing I did for them according to them was right. When I learned how to take that all in my stride that did help.
You too Lise!!
Merry Christmas!
Thanks a lot! I darn near had my food coming out my nose at the 2:33 mark
I’m glad you appreciate the humour😂
Three years in a relationship with a Covert Narcissist, every holiday was ruined.
Happy holidays to you as well, Lise Leblanc. 👋😊
Thank you🥰
@@LiseLeblanc
I wanted to use my artistic gift and make my own Christmas cards to give to my family as my Christmas gift to them, but NOOO! My Narcissistic mother mocks me and tells me to stop being yourself and start become like everyone else.
Just for that comment from my Narcissistic mother she gets nothing for Christmas all because of my Narcissistic mother's words that reveals her hatred towards me.
My Narcissistic mother even told me that I am no longer allowed to do art ever again.
That is why I hope that I move out of my parent's place soon before New Years because I'm planning to move out and go live a happy, loving and peaceful life with my fiancée at her house so I can finally be with my fiancée who respects me and loves me for who I am as a person unlike my Narcissistic mother who takes pleasure in doing me harm by making me depressed all the time due to my mother's Narcissistic abuse every single day and night.
My fiancee loves my artwork unlike my Narcissistic mother who even seeks to force me to break up with my fiancée in the most evil way possible all because my Narcissistic mother does not want my fiancée and I to be happy.
That is why my Narcissistic mother even threatened to force my fiancée to get an abortion if I ever got my fiancée pregnant.
My Narcissistic mother said that because my Narcissistic mother is a murderer that seeks to harm my and my fiancée's unborn children in order to kill off the bloodline of my fiancée and I.
My Narcissistic mother even said these evil words to me after my brother committed suicide which you can read written below:
"I'm glad your brother is dead."
What are your thoughts about what my fiancée and I are going through due to my Narcissistic mother?
@@LiseLeblanc you are welcome, Lise Leblanc.
OMG my wife always planned in advance every single day in holidays and when something did not go according to her plans she got literally crazy.
All holidays were chaos and she always blamed me for that.
Around 20 years ago, my mother must have had a bad dream.
She told me she was sorry that she had been a terrible mother. At the time, I did not think that about her. Yes, she had crazy moments I didn't understand, but mostly I thought she was hardworking, generous and always there to save her kids. I appreciated my mom.
What I realized over the years, is she wasn't apologizing for the past, but for the future. That was my mom then. What this creature has become....I can't stand to breathe the same air.
She was apologizing for the terrible mother she would someday be, and is. I miss my mom.
Apology accepted, Mom.
My narcissists bought so many presents it was almost a killer of the fun. They also bought barely anything for anyone else. Then they started a big hoopla fight after an orchestrated kabuki theater. Its amazing how much effort and time they put into their happenings.
they ruin every couple of days throughout the entire year, there will be peace for 2 days straight then they be off with you taking the micky insulting passing it off as "BANTA" they cant help them self why would christmas time be any different? they a nightmare to be around no matter what the calanda says the relationship is a rollercoaster ride the ups and downs can make you feel sick give you a headache its not healthy.
Last year I planned to introduce my then new GF to my two best friends on the day after christmas. They especially came from a long ways away to meet her and it was important since my parents are dead and that was bascially my family. So I spent christmas eve alone (like the years before) and she did with her parents and brother (bc we were only dating for some months and i guess it was too early to spend christmas with her family, it was planned to meet her parents the day after though) and I made an effort to cook something really nice she enjoyed aswell.
I got a nice fresh Salmon and told her happily that I now have everything ready for tomorrow and that I very much look forward to having her and my friends as company after spending the holidays the years before alone. That I was blissful actually. It was to be my first nice Christmas after my Mother suprisingly got ill on christmas 3 years prior and actually died a couple of weeks later.
She answered that she doesnt give a shit about my Salmon or my preparations and efforts and that she actually doesnt like Christmas. I tried to be understanding for her dislike of christmas and put up with her vindications so she didnt have to apologize for smashing my effort and enthusiasm because I already knew by then that she would never apologize or be wrong. She argued it was just "her opinion". And I had hope and really wanted Christmas to be nice so I let it go. But later on that Christmas Eve she dropped another Bomb on me and because this was a behavior she showed the months before and she did it on that day when i was alone, i thought id make her feel some consequences for the first time and bluffed to cancel the dinner the next day. Also because I was really hurt and baffled that there was no empathy and understanding from her. I thought that would wake her up some how to what this ment to me.
She just quit the relationship the next day. So I sat there with my Friends rying and heartbroken. But this thing with her went on and off for another half year and it all really took a heavy heavy toll on me. As you can see it still haunts me and i am still heartbroken despite all her abuse she put me through in that year.
I even still have hope for some reason and feel pity towards her, love even (?) but I also know that she lacks empathy and her cruelty was sth I never experiened before in my Life.
I will cook sth nice for me now, and to all the heartbroken, the survivors and the lonely: merry christmas.
You deserve happiness, respect and love. Do not keep ppl in your life that can't offer these things mutually. Keep looking for the right one and do not go back into this with her...not ever...she will not change and might only be pretending through love bombing to "sucker" you back in. These ppl are empty, then the space is filled with evil. Take care of yourself, practice self care and self love. ❤
@@traceytansley1659 thanks tracey. i am working on it. its just so sad though and the feelings stay for a long time. i still think it maybe was me and what i could have done better. I cant just villify her, because i still care for her and i think i always will. I wont villify her but i undedrstood there is no chance and i just have to stay away and hope it will improve for her someday.
She did this praise stuff for sure
The insenssitive comments- is a key factor in spoting a narcissist.
Somebody I knows wife was mad against a newborn nephew being seen by their grandmother for the first time. The lady just became a great grandmother and the wife just pouted the whole time or tried to make stuff be about her, along with wearing inappropriate dress to an elderly rest home. Poor husband looked really dejected, he was even sitting lower slumped next to her while she sat too primly. The grandmother was looking concerned for husband and being at the ready to diffuse any gloom cutting into the happy occasion
Loved the grinch edits 😂
Thank you! I’m happy you were able to appreciate the humor…I got a lot of flak for this one
Our narc always managed to have issues when a new baby came into the family or at funerals 🙄🙄
Eh yes, same here. Very weird.
My ex would show up "many hours" late to dinner. We just started eating without her in recent years. Now I dont even invite her anymore. Not worth the bs
I was married 34 years and from the first xmass till the last he ruined everyone in some manner,plus every holiday we went on i began to expect it,the last xmass pushed me over the edge and i divorced him,he had a new woman in weeks,i waisted my life on that man.
For 18yrs trying to convince myself that my husband was not cheating, he got night calls frequently, when I asked him about it, he keeps talking about how he's tired of my nagging about insecurities and just waved off those calls as unimportant . Someone on here referred me to this private investigator @ private_investigatorspy who helped to cloned his phone without physically touching it, and found out he was a narc and has been cheating and lying to me the whole time i just laugh now
My ex would start something b4 every holiday and I never got her anything for her birthday… everyday was her birthday. She tried to ruin my birthday one year I just left her at home.
I am parallel parenting . They have their fingers all over this slight contact. No they can’t afford a cab for the child to collect the presents they bought and had delivered here. They refused a present from their child. They are 5 minutes up the street having dinner with their friend, yet I need to wait until Christmas Day to know if I need to collect the child from 2 miles away or they will be dropped off. There is no tree at the child’s house and she is not allowed to “ keep going on about Christmas”
Feed us doctor Lisa ❤❤❤❤
TY
Thank you for this holiday post...dealing with this right now and appreciate your helpful information. Merry Christmas :)
🎄
On my moms 50th, I made her a Lifetime Mom Achievement Award out of glass.
On my 50th, she said she hates me and hope I die.
😥
Mine always had to overdo the holidays, and if one thing was out of line she’d drive me to be reactive then the story would be that *I* ruined the holiday.
Not sure if mine was npd but it always no matter what started a mood with me especially if it was attention or knowing or seeing her issues
I just experienced the worst Christmas Eve since we had to bury my mom’s baby sister on Christmas Eve when I was a kid. My children, grandchildren and I always spend Christmas Eve with my ex, who is still my family. He actually lives right by my mom. Her kitchen window faces my ex’s house.
He has had a gf for 6 years and I have been married to another man for 11. (He goes with me to Christmas Eve)
Every one of us loved and respected my ex’s gf. She had been welcomed into our family and we even considered her a grandmother to the children (a 5 year old and 1 year old). This year she waited for us all to get there and sit down to eat to “run to the store”. About 30 minutes later my mother forwards me a text from her which was the most vile stuff I had ever seen, accusing my mother of spying on her like the FBI, calling her vile things and calling me vile things. My knee jerk reaction was to get my husband and leave bc obviously I was not welcome there. Honestly, I was extremely upset and shaking bc it was so out of left field. I thought we were friends and allies. My ex then got one and it became clear she wasn’t coming back. She blocked the entire family. We thought maybe she snapped till we discovered she had spent the morning packing up the stuff she had there and literally planned to blow up Christmas for my family. The text she sent my ex said he would never think as highly of her and he did of me. He and I literally treat each other as friends who co-parent. We don’t flirt or communicate all the time and she knew that bc apparently she spent a great deal of time going through his phone. Obviously, we were all upset, but had to maintain a happy facade for the kids. The 5 year old is old enough to know something was wrong. I hope she stays gone. I no longer trust her with the hearts of my kids and grandkids. I came here looking for answers about this craziness.
*edit* I forgot to mention she stole $2000 from my ex as she left.
... my ex wife.
I feel so horrible that our children will have to continue dealing with her, her abuse, trauma, etc from her, probably even after she's gone.
Its so hard to see and be powerless to help them escape it.
I associate her to "the nothing" from "the neverending story"
Just a black void that consumes everything in its path.
Mine never tried to ruin holidays really or my birthday. But any time i say something or it didnt go her way even my bday she would direct some sort of irritation at me or even point finger at me for something
Always try to make sure I'm mad she even broke the Christmas tree one year
You are beautiful!
Yeah, looks like Jennifer Aniston.
they are so horrible
Whew! I'm married to a narcissist but she doesn't quite live up to this description. This is more like Cruella Deville. If she doesn't scare you no evil thing will.
Went on holiday over christmas...escape plan 1 narc 0 😊
Holidays mean no attention for them
Here is a winner...we flew 1000 miles after being invited to Thanksgiving dinner. Take out pizza and salad. White elephant regifts game. What fun!
Assumptions, expectations, and intentions. How does the individual treat these three projections upon those around them.
😊
Maybe it is as simple as all our stories and myths. There has to be a Bad Guy. We are at least evenly matched by selfish people. Many that pose as Good.
I wanted to use my artistic gift and make my own Christmas cards to give to my family as my Christmas gift to them, but NOOO! My Narcissistic mother mocks me and tells me to stop being yourself and start become like everyone else.
Just for that comment from my Narcissistic mother she gets nothing for Christmas all because of my Narcissistic mother's words that reveals her hatred towards me.
My Narcissistic mother even told me that I am no longer allowed to do art ever again.
That is why I hope that I move out of my parent's place soon before New Years because I'm planning to move out and go live a happy, loving and peaceful life with my fiancée at her house so I can finally be with my fiancée who respects me and loves me for who I am as a person unlike my Narcissistic mother who takes pleasure in doing me harm by making me depressed all the time due to my mother's Narcissistic abuse every single day and night.
My fiancee loves my artwork unlike my Narcissistic mother who even seeks to force me to break up with my fiancée in the most evil way possible all because my Narcissistic mother does not want my fiancée and I to be happy.
That is why my Narcissistic mother even threatened to force my fiancée to get an abortion if I ever got my fiancée pregnant.
My Narcissistic mother said that because my Narcissistic mother is a murderer that seeks to harm my and my fiancée's unborn children in order to kill off the bloodline of my fiancée and I.
My Narcissistic mother even said these evil words to me after my brother committed suicide which you can read written below:
"I'm glad your brother is dead."
What are your thoughts about what my fiancée and I are going through due to my Narcissistic mother?
keep on making your own cards, they are the best most wonderful things that no one can buy anywhere else. Sounds like mum just couldn't match that.
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, she’s consumed with hate for whatever reason. You don’t deserve it, leave and never look back ❤
Sounds like your brother had it worse.
smokey can you advice me on whether to tell my sister that suspect her boyfriend is a covert narcissist, she just started dating him about 4 months ago and i very strongly suspect he is a covert narcissist, my sister has ocd and anxiety and i dont want this guy to cause her harm but i dont want to cause her harm by throwing her into a depression as i think at the moment her mood is higher than it was before meeting him and on the whole i think she is better off, but i see he is starting to use guilt blame her for how he is feeling drained of energy since he met her, speaking fondly of another woman he meets sometimes in the park (triangulation), calling her stupid, idiotic, telling her she is going nowhere, etc etc, this combined with compliments, gifts, taking her own dancing, ect, what to do, please advice
@@Samanthax1221 you definitely need to have a talk with her, write down everything that you’ve noticed beforehand. He will slowly destroy her and run her self esteem into the ground. I know because I’ve been there.
My mother.
Well look at that, UA-cam deleted my comment suggesting people walk away from narcissists... 🤔
even though there was nothing which violated their "community guidelines" or should have triggered their algorithms.
... interesting
Bc. They such a baby and got upset they seem lying on the floor kicking and crying
Holidays bdays special occasions etc.i had to drive into the police station with my narc bm because she kept yelling and carrying on with our daughter in the car. Was onto her narcissm by then so I knew what to expect. The idiot police ended up being manipulated by her story even though I drove there to avoid the abuse and protect my daughter from her trauma. She couldn't escape her karma and today her life is in shambles.
For 18yrs trying to convince myself that my husband was not cheating, he got night calls frequently, when I asked him about it, he keeps talking about how he's tired of my nagging about insecurities and just waved off those calls as unimportant . Someone on here referred me to this private investigator @ private_investigatorspy who helped to cloned his phone without physically touching it, and found out he was a narc and has been cheating and lying to me the whole time.
I don't get the grinch clips. Total destraction.
She hated me making the big feasts. Totally took attention from her.
Me thinks you must be a narcissist, since you don't see the behavior of the grinch is a buzz kill from a real narcissist, this is how they kill the Christmas spirit.
Here is a version without the Grinch clips: ua-cam.com/video/Pqs9-EXDBE4/v-deo.html
Mother managed it
As a female narcissist ruined everything from my life, I am preparing myself for a revenge. Is it ok to take revenge from them???
Why? It's just them living in your head and making you ruminate. That's what they want, don't give them the satisfaction.
No.
Do you want them to win? Allowing yourself to act as they do lowers you to their level 🎉
think of jesus on the cross, have unconditional love,
You can’t win here that way
I really enjoy your videos 👍💪. I can completely relate to the Information that you and the Subscribers share.
I only dated one for 7-8 weeks That was enough.
The one I knew was covert. She had several bridges that’s she had burnt and she liked to instigate, belittle, withdrawl, manipulate and control.
The Narc I knew, lets call her Super Nurse. Super Nurse described how she had taken care of a neighborhood woman who had breast cancer.
Apparently, Super Nurse went to her house daily and Inspected the surgical sites, changed dressings and provided emotional support. The “provided emotional support” claim set off a warning. She was not supportive, empathetic or. Compassionate. Perhaps at a Contrived level.
The friend had a Party involving healing, remission etc. Super Nurse got irritated that her Name wasn’t mentioned on the invites in regards to the help she provided. Super Nurse didn’t go to the party; later went into a phone range and then cut ties. It turns out, Supernurse over exaggerated the care and time that she actually provided.
It was the night before my Birthday. We had dinner plans to Celebrate. When I arrived, there was a change in plans. She arrived late; ate when she was out and picked up supplies to make birthday invitations from scratch. It made no sense. Her son’s birthday wasn’t for a few weeks.
What's name of that film? Please
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
sounds like my stepfather alright.
Such great advice, and so ruined by the Grinch clip interruptions. How do I get my family to view this seriously when these distracting clips make the video less credible.
Here is a version without the Grinch clips: ua-cam.com/video/Pqs9-EXDBE4/v-deo.html
can you advice me on whether to tell my sister that suspect her boyfriend is a covert narcissist, she just started dating him about 4 months ago and i very strongly suspect he is a covert narcissist, my sister has ocd and anxiety and i dont want this guy to cause her harm but i dont want to cause her harm by throwing her into a depression as i think at the moment her mood is higher than it was before meeting him and on the whole i think she is better off, but i see he is starting to use guilt blame her for how he is feeling drained of energy since he met her, speaking fondly of another woman he meets sometimes in the park (triangulation), calling her stupid, idiotic, telling her she is going nowhere, etc etc, this combined with compliments, gifts, taking her own dancing, ect, what to do, please advice anyone
yes, you should - my sister married narcist and it was a nightmare!