10 Signs a Narcissist has Emotionally Discarded You
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- Опубліковано 6 чер 2024
- In this video, I will give you 10 signs that you've been emotionally discarded, and at the end of this video, I will also give you the REAL reason you are being discarded. If you can understand and accept this one thing, it will put an end to your confusion.
10 signs for why people with untreated narcissistic personality disorder emotionally discard their partners. I also discuss the REAL reason behind why narcissists discard their partners. Dating someone with an untreated cluster B personality disorder can be extremely difficult, confusing, and even painful. Knowing these signs and understanding the reason that narcissists behave the way they do can help you to see what's happening to you and to decide whether or not you want to continue living this way.
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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. All content is for general information purposes only and does not replace a mental health care of consultation with a health professional.
If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.
#narcissist, #NPD, #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder, #covertnarcissism, #femalenarcissist
A day of loneliness beats a day of madness.
This is EXCELLENT
A 1000,000,000%
I’m lonely in the “relationship “. What’s the difference.
Exactly
Good thought.
Thanks
Don't blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.
That was profound🎉
Lol! Yes! 😂
BLOODCLIT!
What better way to describe it? Get out, go no contact, and stay out. Healing comes with time, you will get there.
The clown is responsible for their own harms against others. Don't ask why you are still there, just make a private plan to get and stay out!
A person can only be so lucky to have a narcissist discard them.
Two days into moving into my own place and the curtain has been moved. I feel lucky to have gotten out. I felt so used, confused, and discarded in the relationship.
@@Michelle-po9xy The controllinig is the worst of it. Smart move Michelle, as it is difficult and expensive to get a place on your own. Make sure you cover your tracks on the internet and phone as wel.
😭😭
Facts!
Agreed. Who needs abuse?
The Hoover is spot on. I went back…the 2nd discard was 100000 times more hurtful. Never go back to these manipulative, lying, cheating, psychopaths.
Run like your pants are on fire.
14 years with that psychopath. It almost killed me and I'm not exaggerating. It's been over for about four and a half years now. Things got a lot better but I still have that bed once in awhile. Mostly I just hate myself for putting up with it. Her life went to s***in fact she was diagnosed with lung cancer and quickly died. I know it sounds bad but that really is not my problem. Besides that it's relieving knowing they'll never be another Hoover!
don't beat yourself up, man. You were just projecting your good intentions onto them, because you are a good person.
7 times my friends, still believing it is love, which is interpretated that I am the NPD, these psycho games, she has BPD and all these psycho analyses explain a lot, but is telling also a lot about yourself, so next to the Hurt of descarding, you lost letterlijk your sense of who you are. But it is spiritual. Because it is in her, in me, in others, in church, in church doctrine and than finding yourself again and God. Because in the beginning and the end he is my source, not a girl or wife or church or any other person.
now you tell me I keed lol
😂😂😂😂
After the discard I’d cry due to the loss and abandonment.
Nowadays, I cry upon realizing how much I didn’t love myself. The fact I loved the Narc before myself.
It’s important to forgive yourself! Stay strong
Loving others above ourselves is good. It shows you have a heart. Forgive yourself!
@David M That is so true! All those years, but TIME DOES help! 12 years ago I left him. I lost the love and bitterness, but I'll NEVER forget.
dont regret being a good person. it might take time but the fact that you did NOTHING wrong should hopefully be your main focus. everyone believes in you.
@@greybun5273 😢
"Make up a fight & disappear for days to do whatever they want with whoever they want." DO NOT TAKE THEM BACK!!
This was my childhood. Can you imagine the abuse and neglect. My mother was a covert narcissist. Married to a enabling alcoholic farher. Pray for me. I'm 73 and still having emotional issues. Where was God while all this was going on? Chuck
They are mentally ill!
Damn I was with the same girl 😂
Damn, so true
♥️
THE PERSON WHO MADE YOU UNHAPPY is never the PERSON WHO WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY.
🎯
What's the solution. I'm stuck because of so many factors. Kids involved.
Funny thing is the narcissist will spend countless years trying to convince you that YOU are the “narcissist” and the “crazy” one…and not them. If you let them…
yeah this is how it feels for me too!
Very true!
Yes. Exactly right..👍
You hit the nail on the head..my minister called it the "crazies " my ex would tell me something then when I'd bring it up he's say ..
"where in the hell do you get these ideas?"
They sure will! I was on the phone talking to a therapist and trying to get help and my husband was in the background calling me crazy!!! The therapist was so thoughtful and got me in asap. She helped me so much. She got me back on my feet again and I saw that I wasn’t the problem. It was him. So glad for videos like this. I’m glad it’s coming out and showing people how crazy these narcissistic people are. It’s scary, but these people need some serious help!
Absolutely! The reason you get discarded is because you're not rolling over and accepting the role you've been allocated to play
Exactly Carib. They do not stop.
Very true!
Because all along, they have been doing you a favor ... or remind you many people are jealous of you as to show you in high places in a privileged seat according to them ...smh
everytime I call her out and say she didnt care and NO MATTER WHAT I DO ITS NEVER ENOUGH: she claims I dont get it and banns me soon on whatsapp again. It does not take long and she reaches out again on me. shes crazy I
@TekkenOnlineFights I'd say to block her but then she'd come banging at your door when you least expect it ..🤔🤷🏿♂️
They discard you so easily, carelessly, and selfishly *because* their reality is an alternate reality. It’s delusion. They cannot see or imagine anyone else’s reality but their own. That really helped me to process the narcissist’s discard of me. Leave the narcissist to be trapped in their sad little world.
Yes!! The last sentence!! So true! That's what my ex wife is doing. Trapped by her own madness. Not leaving the bedroom much these days. She didn't expect me to move along in my life so fast after. She must be flabbergasted by it!
Yes. Just feel sorry for them in their pathetic state. Can’t take it personally because they never cared
She drove me almost insane, then left. Praise God!
1. You're no longer getting attention
2. Devalue you tactics shame, blame discredit you .Further aligations. Character assassination.Keep in a state of confusion.
3. Withhold intimacy
4. Inaccessible no time for you. Aloof
5. Nitpick Stupid lower self esteem
6. Stop talking to you. Forcing you to be anxious not knowing what you did wrong waiting for your apology
7. Your feelings have no effect on them and they continue to disregard view. Heartless.
8. Attempt to destroy you. Verbal attack. You are the problem can't trust you. Isolate you
9. Walk all over you. The narcissist is using.
10. Guilt, fear, shame, gaslighting you. Increase psychological attacks.
Defense mechanism.thevreal reason is narcissist false sense of self and reality. Disorder .
Yup a day of loneliness beats a day of madness! 😢
It does
Ending a 25 year marriage with a female covert narcissist right now. It sucks!! I wish I'd seen this channel 6-8 years ago!!
I've been emotionally beaten into the ground so badly!! Questioning my own sanity, and totally manipulated relatedly!!
Cold as ice, heartless beyond my imagination!! How the hell did I not see this?! I'm finally on my way to freedom!!
I have been researcing narcissism for over a couple of decades, and there was no where near the integrity of the presentations that are available now.
I'm sorry you went through what you did. I went through it too and was ultimately discarded after 20 years, I haven't a clue how to stop going over everything in my mind and feeling destroyed. Can't afford a good therapist, so I am trying to just survive. It is so shocking when their coldness supercedes anything you would or could ever do to another person, and they have no problem with doing it to you. I wish the best for you
@@DeeCee1878 Music, projects, nature, , increasing art/poetry, and most importantly people's awareness of narcissism. People literally think empathy comes from the heart, when it is the brain that is important for us to understand. Have a heart, my heart goes out to you. There are dozens of these and trhey are constantly repeated and our knowledfge of the brain loses out.
@@DeeCee1878i am proud that I was able to say "you are crossing the line, get the fuck out".... I am less proud that I later went back to tell her to unpack her bags, that we will figure things out. Ended up doubly betrayed and discarded. I don't regret it one bit. I gave my love and honesty, ended up hurt. Now I am working on trusting again. I know I can trust myself to protect me, because I am more experienced.
It just takes time. Be grateful for the gained wisdom, have compassion for yourself for having a blind spot, it is normal. The narc isn't smarter, he is just more insidious.
@@GajdoshWarrior 100%: courage, honesty and integrity!
Yes, LONELINESS lasts an hour or two, but ABUSE lasts a LIFETIME !!!
GET OUT, NOW !!!
10 years gone and I'm still damaged, trying to recover, gain inner peace.
The 9-10 year seems to be like a cycle for these leaches. They steal our essence and then discard like a piece of trash after.
My narcissist adoptive mother died 25 years ago. I still have to deal with the damage done.
I put up with it for 9 Years. I thought she was my future, and by the time I figured out that there was a Mental Illness in play, it was too late. I spent 3 years hanging on, hoping something would get better, but all that happen was, I was completely destroyed in every way.
@@inchworm2402 take as long as you need to restore your soul.
I have been 'Narc'ed' by both Males and Females..in different circumstances. They are the most insecure people in the world, hence their Need for control. One has literally tried to Ruin me with manipulation. It has left emotional scars for sure, but I try to just do the things I enjoy most when possible, have my own God faith...and simply know I am not on my own with this. Its good to share in comments🙏💕
The reason I was rejected by my ex was because I always told the truth about everything. She ended up hating me for that.
Same
I was told out of all the things she hates me for, you always told the truth, and that's what hurt me the most. What can we expect? They are poorly assembled robots with a softwhere that runs on loop.
Oh they hate the truth lol
Yep they hate the truth
Yep...Been there.
After I was discarded I was so emotionally unstable. I've never felt so imbalanced. In the past when relationships ended I was sad or heartbroken, but I was always able to move on with a strong sense of self-respect.
This time, it was like I was erased. I was so sad and angry that I wanted to die. That had never happened before in my life, so I knew it was temporary, but it was so disorienting.
It took about two years of therapy but I'm back to what I consider to be my normal, happy, confident self. Looking back on the experience is terrifying and baffling.
If you're out of this kind of relationship, stay strong.
Examine the reasons why you were vulnerable to this treatment with curiosity; rather than blame or shame. Move forward with more strength and knowledge than you had before.
Same. I was a wreck. Learning years later he's a narc, and that's why he acted the way he did helped me heal from it. Now I realize that he treated me the way he did because he's psychologically damaged. It doesn't excuse his behavior, but it does explain it and knowing that alone helped me feel better.
Amazing insight. Thank you
Crap, it will take years to recover?
@@californiaslastgasp6847 I would imagine it depends. My relationship abuse was a 15 year relationship
They are always poking their snarky comments at you and projecting their insecurities it’s exhausting… They don’t care 🤷♀️ and then you realize you’ve been all alone the entire time.
Exactly!
"...and you realize you've been all alone the entire time." Those words are so painfully crushing and so true.
10 years wasted and $50k in legal fees, if only I recognized the signs ahead of time
What do you think you would have done differently?
@@alexwurst848 Leave the relationship before I got too involved with time, finances, and bond with my step daughter, I lost it all but nothing permanent to prevent me from rebuilding thankfully.
I do miss the kid and hope to see her when she's older away from her destructive mother.
20 years .. over 100k in plastic surgery. 120k deep in our divorce settlement. There was not enough information back then. She started planning her way out when I was fighting cancer. She had no idea I was going to pull through. Sheer evil
Same here , I understand the hell....I have been there myself heck she still torments me in my dreams
@@AlanForde-CheyneMS misses Freddy Kruger 😢
they accuse you of being like them without letting you know that's the case
i would rather be alone than with someone who makes me feel alone.
They will triangulate you with other men. They will buy small gifts for other men and just say they are friends. Under handed compliments slowly turn into out right disrespect for you personally and all things that you like. They will avoid getting close to you, whether its sitting on the couch together, or pulling back from a kiss, or walking with them and you turn to speak to them and they are standing 20 feet behind you. They will bring up past lovers and tell you how big they were, how hard they were how rich they were.....ultimately they will connive behind your back, start seeing other people behind you back, and then cut you off in a heart beat. Just be glad they are gone, no loss here, that is a win!
🏁 win win 🏁 !!! F the narc !!!
This was the worst abuse and trauma I have ever experienced in my life. Leading to trauma therapy and recovery. I am still in as well... every word of this video is true!!! Everything!
This is absolutely spot on. I experienced most of this over a period of 2 years. By the end I was a nervous wreck, almost incapable of making a decision. I was eventually discarded but surprise, surprise, this person is now trying to come back in. Absolutely no f**king way on this planet. Thanks to people like Lise, I now understand what I’m dealing with and I see her for what she is. Thanks Lise. ❤
Stay strong, dude
Yes. Avoid not only direct contact but all of her network of friends or "flying monkeys". Sounds like you recognized the insanity for what it is mate. It's uncanny how Lise knows the inside workings of a narcissist.
I ran across one of these sociopath's years ago and it was the most confusing relationship ever! Nothing like a master manipulater full of lies and deciet. The other guy that she was playing almost beat her up after finding out the truth. The scariest part is how she kept coming back playing both guy's trying to convince us that things were on her terms until "someone put a ring on her finger". With no contact and people moving out of town it finally resolved.
Have you steered clear to resolve?
Same, but she still uses the same tactics exactly ad descrided here. NEVER AGAIN
Knowledge is power Gary, it's good to see you moving on- good luck.
Narcissists like finding those they can have fun with. It is up to you to decide what if anything to do about this negative co dependency.
I am an empath in a house full of narcissist. I feel empty inside.😮💨😭
Sheree Rockdaschel, Pick one thing you LOVE, and focus on improving it no matter what!
😢 im so sorry
it looks like you've watched my life play for the past 2 decades. it's truly sad when you're in it you cannot see what's going on because you're too darn busy defending and proving yourself. But once you know, there is no unseeing it.
so accurate. thanks, lise
Me too.
We all say the same thing. It feels like all these videos are directed to each one of us. It is because we have all been attacted by the same demon.
I feel your pain! Same experience here except 4 decades worth! But you are so right, once you know, there's no going back!
This is a detailed description of my life in the last five years. It's amazing how accurate this is, and how similar all the stories are. There should be much more awareness about these people. The sadistic destruction they cause affects so many people.
Yes. I understand... too "in it" and trying to keep up to see what is going on. This is what haunts me daily... recalling all the times when she/people and situations I was simply unaware of... when she was destroying my character, relationships, finances, etc., etc. Finally putting together the pieces and seeing what was happening was like a Hollywood movie, the moment of realization and Terror! Be well!
I'm currently at a discarded stage,no sex , no text, no meaningful conversations. Only orders, and shouting. I feel like a servant to a queen, who has zero accountability and responsibility in this relationship
Run Forrest Run!
Yep, time to walk away, even if it hurts you
I am also in the discarded stage right now, my friend. You are not alone. We both deserve better. I hope you get out.
Did you try being a better partner. Maybe she wants to sleep with better men. You should support her in that.
Move on, say Touche..
Don't be reckless with other people's 💕 heart's, Don't put up with people who are reckless with your's..
Never having had any experience with narcissism, once it happened to me, I became obsessed with trying to find out what the person I loved and assumed loved me really was. Through a process of elimination I found she was a covert with some extra spicey bits. We were only together six months. Any longer and she would have killed me. Took three years of deep internal work to recover.
What I find remarkable is the similarities; its like a hive mind. They all behave in exactly the same way. The stories of survivors are always something I could have written myself.
Happiness is the best revenge.
Ditto for me...except his true colors didn't appear until 5 years in, and only after he convinced me to move in with him on the promise of happily ever after. I left him after he broke my heart into pieces and nearly made me lose my mind. I felt he emotionally discarded me, and I loved him so much, I just kept trying harder. It is quite a learning experience, and hard to believe how someone can treat you like that. It's hard to come to terms with the fact they just are incapable of true love.
Same here. We dated for 6 months. I do think about him now and then but I restrain myself from reaching out.
@@jill3330 I went through the same thing, but I endured a 20 year version of trying to figure out what was happening, what I could do different, and how I could make myself "worthy" of not being mistreated. After all of that, he got very sick, and I took care of him. He promised me a better life and I fell for it. I needed to for my broken heart. At the last minute, after most of the plans had been made, he abandoned me and set out for his new life without me. I have never felt so close to insanity as I feel now. Didn't know you could be so heart broken and yet it keeps beating just the same.
@@DeeCee1878 That is so cruel, and my heart goes out to you😢 I left 9 months ago, and trust me, time will bring healing and clarity. I found strength in exploring and strengthening my spirituality. Take time to focus on yourself again. In time you'll find peace & realize that you are better off without him. It's better to be alone without judgement than be with a person who devalues you & leaves you lonely and confused. I hope you find a good support system.
It is indeed as if they all went to the same Narc academy. I was together 1 year. On sunday I helped her in her new house and she loved me. 3 days later she said the meanest things and discarded me. For months I thought about her. Weird how I could not get someone out of my mind who is so evil…
I met this girl in January this year. Started to chat and hit eachother up quickly. Talked on the phone for hours. Decided to meet for a date. It was just magic. She just was so into me. She love bombed me. Told me what a man I was. That I was good looking and all this. So we continued to date. I went to her place and we just had a great time. Great sex and just held one and other all the time. It was amazing. And so it was for about three months. I felt so good. Like this really could be something for me. Something special. We talked somewhat about the future that she wanted me to move with her where she was from originaly in our country. Many miles upnorth that is. I really considered it a possibilty. Even though it meant changing my whole life.
But just like that over a week she turned cold. Hardly texted me. Never called. So I texted her asking if everything is alright? She just came with every excuse under the sun. "Its such chaos right now, I dont see us working out" blablabla. She said she had feelings for me but could not see it work out.
I was totally taken a back. The adrenaline I felt in my stomach and initial pain that hit me was just horrific. I thought everything was so good? I didnt think she loved me already, sure. But I sure thought she really was into me.
I chatted with her brother and he told me she had a history of doing this. She only have had destructive boyfriends besides me he told me. It was like her mask fell of after a while. Like the person I saw this whole time wasnt even real. Its like I am crying over something that didnt happen in real life. It was such a surreal situation. I really thought we was at the same page. I can only reasure I was me the whole time.
The things she did and said under our short time together for example was. She bought things for her dogs to my place so it wouldnt be a hazzle to bring stuff with her when she came over. She told me at the gym when we were there that she better workout so she could keep me around. Like jokingly and flirty you know. She asked me if we were a couple and I said happily yes to her so she surprised me with going official with me on FB the next day which made me very happy. She met with my sister since they knew eachother as kids. They aparently talked about us moving together in the future. A week later she told me all this that she had to break it of after all the silent treatment from her.
When I soon realized that I met a narc that just had what she needed from me and then discarded me like this. It was just horrid.
Why play up that you want someone and then just discard me like I am nothing just as I am feeling confident in us being together. I would never do that to anyone. I was so broken while she went on with her life like she dropped an icecream cone on the ground. She posted pictures and all this like usual like nothing had happened. So I went no contact.
A month has passed and I feel a little better. But man did that hit me bad. I still have a feeling inside that it feels so unreal. How can you do that to people?
Your ex is a very broken person. Emotionally, mentally and morally. Normal good people don’t do what she did. I faced a similar situation. My ex Love bombed me, bought gifts, brought lunch to work, very affectionate on dates. Then when I thought everything was going in a good direction, she pulled the rug out from under me.
I’ve been a mess for almost two months. You’re not alone.
@@RayLiotaToyota You are absolutely right. You and me and everyone just long for someone special to come along. So to act up like that and then just fuck off like it all was nothing. Just terrible. Like I said. I would never string some poor girl along like that. Thats why it hit me like a freight train you know?
Hey buddy! Thanks for reaching out. I hope my comment got you some relief in not being alone in this. You are not just like you yourself said.
Keep your head up man. Its ok to be down and all. But this is not a life sentence.
They can live their lives like this if they want. But I dont want someone that fake anyways.
Almost the same as me.
Unfortunately for those of us growing up in narcissistic homes, our parents teach us what we can expect from others.
Yep. Faff all
That must have been horrible for you as a child...
Both of my parents are narcs. Very sad.
the worst part is being love bombed,,,trauma bonded and then discarded,,,,,,this can do serious harm to good people
Too late for me, 6 years on and I don't think I will ever be over it fully.
@@johnnydeath2 same here 6 years later but doing my best to stay no contact
Yes yes it does cause harm to good people !!! In my case it went trauma bond, love bombed then devalue and discard !!
The hoovers are predictable ( every 7 months ) + or - 1 week.
I ignore her now and I certainly hope I have caused a narcissistic injury so deep she won't ever recover !!!!
She is a monkey branching POS !!!
Liar. Cheater. Thief !!!
No Contact No Contact No Contact
Nc4eva !!!
Feeling sorry for a narcissist is the worst mistake you can ever make !!!
Mine used to sex bomb me and I got hooked on it. Now I’m shocked she left for a nigga
It hurt like hell. My “soulmate” who threw me away like trash. After being very sweet the last weeks. Pure evil.
There's a nice uplifting message towards us recovering empaths at the end. It happened because we would "not hold up their false mask anymore." Exactly! I wasn't playing a game of fuck/fuck like they were. But I was so sick and tired of the sweet/mean cycle that I was relieved to be given the gift of NO CONTACT. I sure as hell was NOT GONNA chase them after devaluation "round" 100
This could easily have been my comment. I feel for you. I'm glad you are feeling better. The 'No Contact' rule has been the most difficult part for me, but I'm doing it, because deep inside I know it has to be this way. Painful scenario, but hopefully I'm moving into something better in the future. Thanks for your comment.
I am happy for you but i just realised that i felt all of this, whatever she said in the video.
I used to be too confused and asked why they were being distant the answer I'd get was
Look around everything is fine.
I just feel stupid for not blocking them sooner but instead got blocked
I'm happy though
I have been free since then but I'm kinda scared of them coming back
I've had no contact for nearly a month, I've not heard anything from her, I miss her like crazy, if she was to reach out I'd still likely go running back 😬
@@muqadasa8571Any Update ?
Over thirty years not knowing that i was dancing with the devil. Seven months after discard and getting through the complete and utter shock, I now see myself as having survived the greatest test of my life and Ive escaped with my soul intact. This is the same demon that we are facing, terrifying and completely evil.
I'd sat in church talking to God that I was under attack from experiencing the same. I felt God had only one answer, that I didn't want to hear..." discard, and no contact " to save myself. I was addicted to her. It's a hard bond to break with a person you fall in love with... or should I say " lust " with?
@@clintonnagy1662 It's more than lust if you're highly empathetic!
@Mikexxx531 I wasted time in the relationship, and now I'm wasting time trying to heal. It's my own fault. I knew better but didn't stay away. She gets to flaunt her new supply around for memorial day picnic, while I spend time alone with a broken heart. I left another relationship to pursue her, and now I recieve the same pain I dealt to another. I question my character and morals. Its the betrayal against myself that makes me feel empty. They say in hell, people experience the same torment. I know this to be true because I feel it.
All of it is true….the discard was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. My ex monkey branched into another relationship with a coworker….and left me completely broken. The healing journey for me has been slow, but getting there. She wanted to remain best friends….seriously??? Unbelievable
Forgiving a narcissist is a fools errand. They're unable to change their toxic behavior. I know from experience. It took me many years to understand that my mother and sister were both narcissists. The only way to a positive outcome when dealing with a narcissist is to cut them out of your life. They will never stop undermining your life.
Lise, just wanted to say thank you for helping me to understand why my marriage failed and why my covert narcissistic ex-wife conducted herself in the manner she did. It always takes two but now I know that I was not going crazy but was merely on the receiving end of narcissistic personality disorder. REALLY appreciate your help!
Bernie
This was a light bulb moment for me to finally put the past behind me, thank you so much.
Amen
I'm blown away by all of this. It gives context to my last relationship. This was her exactly. The love and sex bombing at the beginning. "Please stay with me" she would say when I would go see her, "I miss you when you're not around". Amazing, mind-blowing sex, affection, attention... and all of that transformed into abandonment and complete lack of empathy, and would barely make any effort only when she wanted something from me. The last time was that I take her to Houston to visit her family. She was so sweet and affectionate the weeks leading up to the trip, then as soon as it was over, stone-cold, cruel. Thank you for this. It makes sense of what I went through. I was constantly questioning myself, searching for answer that didn't exist. Now I have clarity. Thank you!
How long were you all together?
@@uplift56 almost a year and a half. She discarded me on New Years eve. Just like that. The night before she said she adored me. The next morning wouldn't even talk to me. Took off and didn't come home that night. Wouldn't return my texts or calls. The next day came home and told me she didn't want to be with me anymore, with all the coldness of a robot. Didn't give me reasons just said "you know Im not in love with you right". Very matter-of-fact. It was surreal. This wasn't like we had an argument prior to this or anything of the sort. She literally went to sleep on the 30th of December one person, and woke up a different person on the 31st. This was actually the third time she had done this to me. The first two times she blamed depression. It's been 3 and a half months and it still hurts... But now I know as painful as it is, her leaving my life was the best thing that could have happened.
@@RichD2024 - Hmmmm- she just made the decision for you, since you didn’t leave after the 3rd red flags 🤔.
I'm so glad that you got out of that horrible situation; if you didn't it most definitely would have been so much worse for you. Congrats on getting out!
I went to Houston to visit my ex. Spent thousands on airbnbs and flights. Turns out she was having sex with another guy the day before and throughout past couple months. I found out and she abandoned me in the city for the remainder of my vacation (I'm from UK so know noone there). Not so much as an apology. We've known each other and were dating on/off for six years. She literally leaves me in our airbnb alone and stays at other guys house. Truely horrific. The betrayal plus the complete abandonment. This was less than a week ago. I sat in thst airbnb alone for a week near the galleria just drinking. Obviously she had persuaded me to come out with love bombing etc. And for the first few days was cold and distant and making me question what I was doing was wrong.
I'm really glad there's a woman covering how women act for guys who are lost and losing their minds.
It’s called emotional abuse, but I’m glad their are men like you who are victim blamers.
@@emmarae4322How long have you known you have NPD/BPD?
Thank You. You just described the ten years of pure hell that I went through with my ex-wife. And I walked out on her. And I divorced her. And I chose to shut her out of my life forever because she was so verbally abusive and emotionally abusive. And she was violent and unpredictable. And she was vengeful and revengeful and vindictive. And she was cold hearted and heartless and cruel. And she was demanding and controlling and possessive. She called me a momma’s boy and a coward and a looser. And after ten years of her fussing at me and arguing with me and fighting with me and picking fights with me I finally woke up and realized that she was just using me for a doormat and walking all over me. Thank GOD I finally reached my breaking point and told her that I had enough. And that I wasn’t going to take it anymore. The mind games and guilt trips along with the bitching and complaining and blaming and accusing was just too much for me to bare. And I had to divorce her to keep her from destroying me mentally and emotionally and financially. These narcissists and sociopaths and psychopaths are wicked and evil. Thank You for exposing these toxic people to the world. This video helped me in my healing journey back to me. No more arguing. And no more fights. And I will never, ever allow her back into my life to pick another fight with me again. Thank’s Again. And GOD Bless. GOD IS GOOD. And Jesus Is Lord. Thank You GOD for this woman and her UA-cam Channel. 🙏✝️❤️
Damn bro I felt that. My wife hasn’t gotten that harsh but it’s all varying degrees of the same abuse. I’m not ready to leave and don’t think I ever will; even if she never changes. Some would say I must have issues too to recognize what’s going on and willingly submit to it. All I know is I don’t know where my line is, I just know I haven’t reached it yet.
I’m glad you were able to do what you needed to do to escape and be happy.
this is what my daughter is doing to her husband, her flying monkey. i tried to warn him but he turned on me.
Your Ex and My Ex should be Bowling Partners. I lasted 9 Years, before she Destroyed me completely. Unfortunately, I''m the idiot that hung on until the bitter end, because I "Thought" that's what men do. I thought, "Suck it Up, because Men need to be Strong." Of course, I did Zero homework, and had no Idea that I was living with Hitler Re-Incarnate. I had no idea that Mental Illness was in play until it was far too Late. I thought I was merely dealing with an emotionally immature person, and that Time would fix that. I was Wrong!
@@justingrabowski8142...I recommend a book called 'Psychopath Free'. You should read it, and if you determine that you are dealing with a real Narcissist or a real Psychopath, then 'You will Have to Leave.' There is no other option. It will get worse, and she will destroy you. It will become her main focus in life, and if she is really Mentally Ill, you Could possibly end up in Jail, because she isn't going to tell the truth, when it matters most.
This is what I learned from my experience with a narcissist and the shocking awful discard. If previous spouses have committed suicide and their child won't have any contact with them, they may be a narcissist. At least I survived. Some were not as fortunate.
I always wondered about that..1 suicide, one died of cancer and I'm not the best after over a decade, but I'm alive and as it stands the only person alive that knows who she is and what she's capable of..I for one don't think it's coincidence..
The wife and I are two ships in the night,; I feel like I am living with a roommate.
But I don’t let her control my emotions; I know how she is and how she isn’t.
Run brother run!
I never knew what a narcissist was! Never heard of it until I was forced to discard my Fiancé. 5years of hell! My Therapist explained everything to me for she is a narc survivor of 18 years. I almost literally died with stomach issues. It's been nearly 12 years and I have been very happy without a MONSTER in my life.
Monster is the perfect word. A grotesque creature that resembles a human being but is governed by unnatural motivations or laws.
heartless !!! ...you nailed it....sadly it took me 20 years and 4 kids to have my eyes opened....thank you so much
#8 over and over was what finally led to me dumping my girlfriend. She said she loved me and yet its impossible to love someone and talk to them like that. She crossed the line so I put her out of my home 2 days later. I will not be disrespected in my home again.
Good on you sir. I too was disrespected in my very own bed by a girl I was with for a short time. First and last time that will ever happen
If you're constantly feeling drained after meeting someone, or constantly getting reprimands about trivial things or being gas lit, it's time to WALK. For your own sanity. It's just not worth sticking it out. And when I mean walk, I mean walk. Total cut off. Nobody is perfect but this kind of treatment of you is on another level. Life is too short to be bothered with their rubbish.
That was my life for the last 17 1/2 years until i was discarded at Christmas. Feel stupid for falling for all these things over the years. But now i have been away from all that for 7 months it is so easy and clear to see that i was the good person fighting a loosing battle. Just nice to finally know my thoughts about it all now make sense.
Wow! You are amazing. 25 years of living with a covert narcissist has finally ended. Not because I told her I wasn’t going to allow her to ruin my retirement or that she packed her bags and abandoned me but because I refused to allow her access to ME. That’s when she realized she lost me. Since then I started dating a doctor who works in the field of social work. And, genuinely cares and understands me but more importantly understands what a covert narcissist has done to me and my self esteem. In less than a year I have published two books and started my own business but more importantly rekindled my relationship with my son which she tried to destroy. My son, on his own, now sees her for whom she is. And, I’m grateful for that. Thank you for validating all that I have gone through and now see as liberation. Amen! Keep up the great work. Pete Valentin
Happy for you! over time I personally found, it's best to just let them go, and eventually not bash them. For myself, I was again giving time to them after the fact. Don't get me wrong. I certainly had to vent in the beginning I felt more free when I just let the person go .
I started to catch on, but didn't know what( I'd never personally dealt with anyone that was narcissistic or manipulative towards me) was happening, so I started researching, and researching. Until I FINALLY figured it out. So, I started resisting. " No. Youre not doing that to me." She started giving me silent treatment, every few days. Then, I told her I was absolutely done being treated like such shit, and she just...blocked me, and disappeared. Its been a whole week. This person I thought loved me. Fucking crazy.
Dude same, its insane these personalities exist. Its brutal that they discard you after saying they love you. i cant believe i was so nieve. She was an angel in the beginning and my brain cant believe how she could turn so toxic.
@Phoenix Power I try to think of the positives, or the take aways. It has been devastating, heartbreaking, and really fucked me up. BUT.... I learned al9t about narcissistic people, and about manipulation.
Extreme silent treatment is a dead giveaway they have a personality disorder.
@@shitsgettincrazyfuhrill i hear you!! The negatives outway the positives for me at the moment. I keep questioning what was real. I hope in time we can rebuild ourselves.
As soon as they realize you've seen behind the mask, you're done. They all drop their 'loved ones' like a stone.
Happened to me too bud. Its an epidemic.
Be strong, be happy.
The real drama is when you have all the information but you're not able to escape.
I know she is destroying me and I swear myself everytime that that was the last time I let her to hurt me, but then she snap their fingers and there I go again like a puppy moving his tail.
Worse thing is the feeling of disgust I have from myself every time I fall in her net
Delete her number bro, change locks move house, do what you gotta do!
You said this SO well.
I get this. I’m also stuck financially and have children with him so can’t go no contact. I’m so worried about how much this divorce will cost me.
You're not alone , Fernando.
Me in the same "game" marriage , now trying to get out of my abusive wife.
Just get another girlfriend, and when she starts go over there. Pay her no mind
The Lady in the video clip said “I should have married your brother” damn that was cold who else on here thought that was cruel and heartless.
My experiences with narcs completely changed my opinion towards women sadly. Because I don't believe they need to be a narc to use such tactics. I never realised how cruel heartless manipulative people can be.. But the average woman has this in her repertoire. Vengeful they like to one up you always.
Thanks. You described my entire five year relationship with my ex wife to the letter. I've had a year of heavy learning since I found out she intended to cheat and kept going at it even after promising to stop.
Has she tried to come back?
@@Mjones4949 She knows I'll never take her back no matter what. I've made utterly clear that she will never, under any circumstances, pass my doorstep again. That's the side she never understood I had though I told her already from the beginning. She chose to find it out on her own thinking I was just the nice and friendly guy she had seen before.
@Nicke L Good for you! I'm not sure if mine will try to come back, but if she does, I hope I have your strength to say no.
@@Mjones4949 For your sake I hope so too. No one deserves such a relationship and definitely not twice.
Problem is that you don’t know till it’s too late. The only advice I can give my brothers is, make sure that their first lie is their last! No forgiveness, forgiveness leads to more abuse!
Agreed.. once they lie it’s game over
or any type of disrespect
Forgiveness does not mean tolerance and acceptance. We can still forgive them and not take the abuse anymore at the same time.
I think the one thing that surprised me most about my narcissistic daughter was the fake factor. My wife and I were never happier than when our grandson was born. We saw them and the child's father at least once a week for over 6 years. She ended that. I haven't seen my grandson in a year, and she continues to harass me. There is an "out of nowhere" aspect attached to her words and actions that defies logic. Every time my wife and I visited our daughters house, we arrived and left with hugs, kisses, and "I love you." How much of that was fake on her part? When did she begin to hate me so intensely that she would take her son out of my life and me out of his? I miss him like crazy, but the level of toxicity emitting from his mother is simply too crazy to be around.
Been there, bought into it, now I’m a student learning and recognizing how to protect myself
I got out a year ago but for 37 years this is what I went through and was it painful, feeling like I was stabbing around in the dark not knowing what to do or why things were this way.
My God restablish you completly! Cheers
@@frankdavf4599 Thank You!
37 years??? I'm so sorry.
@@Ohboycommentsection ya I'm fortunate to be alive I went to the ER one day my BP got to 256/127 because of the horrible treatment, that's when I realized I needed to love and take care of me and get out
37 years. Jesus Christ you was a doormat basically. That is along time.
my ex told me that all of her friends disliked me she told me that she agreed whit them but she liked me anyway . for a year she convinced me that i was worthless. still months after the breakup i feel that nobody likes me , i dont feel i cant be in a relationship again . and she just began a new relationship before the breakpup.
Don't feel bad, they still your joy temporary for themselves but it's not going to last long. Because you are the bigger person you will regain it. Give yourself some time to heal.
Exactly the same said to me. I feel your pain.
Try to imagine a world where you have zero memory of what your ex said. Take all other inputs and see what that looks like. It's difficult at first but a reframe of your self without the input from a grown up child attacking you to shield themselves from reality can give you a boost towards healing.
Hang in there! I was in the same situation, time heals…. You were conditioned and you began to believe her words. When you meet someone who is genuine it will turn your life upside down! 👍
I just reached out to a therapist. Need to get away from her.
"Social proof" hit me! My ex told me that I was a threat to her and our kids and that everyone around agreed, neighbours, the pediatrician, teachers... I even went straight to our nearest neighbor and asked him if he had put the authorities on notice (as she told me) and he denied getting involved. Now she wants me to come back saying that the kids miss me and love me so much...
Don’t fall for it Holmes. She’ll be back to her shenanigans within 6 months.
So you leave the kids with a sick woman (according to you)? You sound like a lier/an immature egoist.
..
I can relate 100%
There needs to be a carfax that we can pull up with these “people”. Because they enter our lives like they are good people interested in a genuine connection.
Wow! This is incredible!! So exactly like my boyfriend. I knew there was something wrong with the way he was treating me. Thank you who ever sent me this Truth.
The very minute you stop reflecting back their self image...you're done
What does this mean?
@@risefromyourpain Love is many things, one of which is a mirror. Relationships hold up a mirror to who you really are and who they really are. If you do not reflect back to them who they want you to believe they are (enough) and you are perhaps too honest, or you don't validate certain behaviours (enough), then you are done. The truth has set you free (even if it takes the form of a brutal discard).
Very validating. Finding comfort in these type of videos lately...
Yep, you hit them all and I'm 100% done, I've spent the last 30 years married to a toxic witch. She's gotten worse as she's got older. I've been discarded and I'm glad she did that, now I feel liberated and great things are happening for me as each day passes. The witch got on her broom and flew away to be with the oldest daughter in another State and I haven't heard from her but one time. See ya!
Peace of mind is amazing. My shit show family who tried to destroy me are no longer relevant and after so much hurt I'm living my very best life.
A brilliant interpersonal behavioural summary of some common emotional conflict patterns most associated with pathologically narcissistic personality styles.
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARING THIS YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT I WENT THROUGH HORRIFIC EMOTIONAL ABUSE MONTHS AND YEARS OF THE SILENT TREATMENT I HAVE TOTALLY LOST MYSELF THIS PERSION DESTROYED MY SELF WORTH AND SELF ESTEEM NARCISSITIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL.
Outstanding video.
Getting to the healing stage has begun because of understanding what I've gone through in the last year if my life. Thankyou.
It’s like you were in my relationship and are now telling my story!! It’s insane!
You know these people like the back of your hand. This is spot on, I have seen every little detail you describe.
Some of the best explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns I have heard. Great upload
I cannot believe how well you described the way she treated me all the way to the end
You have totally described the nearly twenty years of a difficult marriage, which l spent trying to work out why it was difficult and full of mind games during that time. His disappearing off with no warning, reason or excuse, but returning and acting as if l was the unreasonable one for wondering what was happening and why. The anger and accusations. You described it all so well and clearly. I am so glad to be out of that situation and enjoying life again. It's also good to understand what was happening and why, to help with the recovery and healing. You have mentioned things others miss out and all so accurately. Thank you.
This is so incredibly enlightening and life changing. You have described the situation I have been enduring for 3 years as if you knew me personally. Mind boggling.
Helping me get over and understand my horrible situation. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
You’re the GOAT of this sector! Sorry for what you’ve been through.
What Lise said at the end is a key to achieve emotional distance to what the narcissist did. And helps to sort things out. So, it's very important to hear it's personality disorder and not you.
Also, I'd say after going through such narcissist hell, she not only doesn't care how you feel but she enjoys when you feel down, powerless and useless.
Thank you for this. Saving this video to come back to any time my heart softens. Nobody is worth going through this. Their mental illness will cost you your mental wellness.
This is the most clear & concise description of a narcissist I have ever heard. Thank you!
This hits home! Thank you for this!
i have learned MUCH from this video!
You're so excellent, Lis. Probably the clearest, most down to earth explanation of such complex psychological phenomena that I've ever seen.
I‘ve been through discard fazes many times, until I fortified love and respect for myself. I see the narcissistic behaviour for what it is. Every single thing you shared is true. Unfortunately I couldn’t get the help I needed, when I needed it. But at the same time, I learned more about myself, and to walk away from the manipulation and mind games.
Best narcissism video I've seen so far welldone
This is eerily representative of the experience I had with a woman I was off , & on with a decade ago... I don't want to believe that she's a narcissist, but basically all of these signs were what I experienced.
Thank you for doing it for men , I’m so tired of people using men as example of narcissists . I have been deeply hurt twice by two covert narcissists ex girlfriends , and I still suffer from physical pain of an internal injury that one of them caused , that she conveniently called an “accident “
Good point - in my experience women are far more brutal as narcissts
@@MJ-qb5ph pure evil I have seen as their mask dropped!
Too true. It's come to a point when so many beautiful modern women just casually use alot of narcism ways I know they can't all be narcissists but since my experience me being a guy who before my narc was gentle, understanding, kind. I thought I was a rock a gentleman a patient lover. Now I don't feel like any of those things and girls call me "asshole" when I give them back what they dish out to me. So many girls that aren't narcs block without a word and effectively use silent treatment through blueticking. It always drives me crazy. I can understand being busy. But so many women aren't genuine they don't tell you the truth or be straight they ignore you if you make effort in messages.. Spam you if you leave them. They will ignore you when you send nice messages until you ask what's up and almost 100% every woman goes I'm BUSY!!!!! Then launch into a tirade about they have work, kids, and can't just drop everything for you.... they will sarcastically say sorry. No woman will allow me to speak to her like that. But it seems a pandemic sooo many women feel like they can talk to you like shit? Narc behaviour when they do not have the disorder. Ive lost all faith in a decent woman being decent to me. They exist. But they only really seem to be the great women I grew up thinking all women are when they already in a relationship. If one is interested in me it's usually for an entirely surface reason.... they think I'm some sexy version of a guy I'm not. When I show chinks in the armour I'm not worth even trying to see if it can work on they just give up. Trying so hard to understand it's not like I hand pick narcs but going for women most men would consider quality has destroyed me. It's not worth the once off great sex I can't do 2 weeks of you an amazing man then done stints anymore. Id feel shit because I wouldn't be attracted to a large woman, so maybe I'll stay single for life.
People say “he” when referring to both sexes.
Great video.Lisa .. What finally helped me ended my mental anguish with my ex narc was the one simple fact... They just dont care.. they dont care about you, your thoughts, your opinions, your love or your pain only what you do for them... They just DO NOT care.. and the sooner you accept it.. the sooner you can start to let go and forgive yourself because non of this, non of their behaviour or any of it... Is your fault... they never loved you, because they just do NOT care about you.. only what services you provide them... So why should you.. now let go... Keep up the great work Lisa ❤️x
Amazing! I’ve been watching narc videos for over a year trying to figure him out. Yours explained it so clearly I may finally have gotten it! Thank you
Thank you for the reminder.
This was helpful.
The examples were spot on.
I love the part about stopping trying to figure out why they discarded you.....I went around that painful mountain with a friend (again) Interesting that they tried to say that I distanced myself. Gaslighting on top of it all. I knew that was manipulation.
the most freeing feeling is recognizing you are in this mess and getting out of it.
Takes a while to get there! Even after realizing this I still feel the pain and disrespect of being thrown away. I’m very sensitive though
@chunkybuttz it's not easy to recover, but it does happen.
Thank You so Much for this video ❤
This makes complete sense and I really appreciate the confirmation of what I already knew. ❤
Narcissist can't help being what they are 🤷
Damn. Damn. And damn! The accuracy is unbelievable. Thank you for this video. I have no idea why people like this marry. Why would they go to such great extent to hurt innocent people? 😢
It took some time, but I figured a way to back out and say "I undo". It hasn't been easy, but hear I am after 20 years of marriage,plus three years of tiptoing out of the financial and emotional mine field. I will survive.
Lisa, it’s the more exhaustive explanation of what I compare to the “Stockholm síndrome” , as making a victim being psicológicaly subjudged.
Very well. You certainly go to the bottom of the problem. It’s exactly what you described. Bravo!
You are 💯% right! It’s my story 🐴🤦🏻♂️Thank You so much! If I knew then what I know now! I didn’t realize the abuse until I had time to reflect the time and the incidents from an emotional distance🤦🏻♂️
You've got a gift Lise. Very good explanation. Thank you for what you do.
You are the most accurate and professional therapist in this domain, in my opinion! Thank you for your videos
Great analysis and advice. Even though I've been through therapy and have achieved a clear understanding as to what my Narc wife did to me and why, it still helps me to hear your reminders as to what actually took place, so the painful rejection I experienced doesn't allow self-doubt to creep back into my consciousness. Accepting my Narc ex-wife's mental condition and the fact there was nothing I could have done to alter the outcome in our marriage is a tough one-- but necessary if I want to abstain from making this mistake ever again. Thank you.
You are the most direct and clear. Thanks.
This is an eye opener for me! Everything you mentioned is exactly what the narcissistic ex wife put me through! From being called a failure, mentally ill and imbecile for messing coffee due to hand tremors. An alcoholic like her first ex husband when my ankles and knees gave in and had a fall due to Charcot Marie Tooth disease. Everything I said or did was twisted and used against me. Humiliating me in front of the kids.
Robertovss 3237 your story is almost exactly my story with my now almost exwife! I,m working on it! Married her 18 y ago. ( no kids) they have no feelings, empathie, love, cold as ice. Don,t wast y,r time with her ,choose f freedom f you and y,r kids ,yes it hurts !😢but it wil come better f you & kids