When God asks you to build an ark
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
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He forgot the termites
Stop mocking GOD.
@@TedEhioghaedo you mean me or Zach?
Story was greatly exaggerated it was really just a couple of sheep, a couple of goats, and a few chickens.
that ad placement lmao.
brilliant should pay you a lot. 🤣🤣
"How did Noah build the ark so quick and so well?"
He just stood up and said "Teamwork makes the dream work" and then he did it
...and Brilliant
So quick? It took 120 years. How is that quick?
@@ИванБорисюк-п7э I was just quoting the video at 7:28
I don't get it
@@grantsch1861 It's in reference to another one of his videos called 'When you time travel to the past and find out you're completely useless'
"You need all the water animals."
"What?! Why? You're *flooding* the Earth, not *grounding* it!"
The salinity wouldn't suit them, obviously.
I guess technically he would need the fresh water animals in this interpretation of the flood.
Water animals would literally get crushed lol
@@thehermitman822 Depends. Rainwater is freshwater. So if God floods the earth through a shit-ton of rain, then it's the saltwater animals Noah needs to be worried about.
That’s it earth, you’re grounded
I never thought the transitive property could be explained with a story about Noah getting a secondhand handjob, but bravo.
we really did learn something here today
Haven’t watched the video yet, consider me interested
literally second hand
The lord giveth, and the lord taketh away.
Lmfao
If boats could have a body positivity movement, lmfao
I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought of that joke and made of this skit to have an excuse to say it
@@eomoran wouldn't doubt it
😂😂😂😂
"You forgot the unicorns"
"Those don't exist"
"Yes they do"
"Not any more"
Oh but they do. It's called the Indian Rhino (Rhinoceros Unicornis), the word is Re'em in Hebrew, which can also refer to oxen or aurox bulls. Although the aurox is extinct and one horned rhinos which are indigenous to India and the middle east are on the endangered species list.
@@doomguyayy It you look at the Latin Vulgate it even translates Re'em as Rhincerotis.
@@turnage_michael that's a rhino, not a unicorn
@@satgurs Unicorn literally means one horn. So, technically, anything with one horn is a unicorn unless some other description comes out
Fun fact. If you take the cells of a goat's horn before it has a chance to integrate with its skull and you plant those cells onto the forehead of a horse it will fuse forming essentially a horse styled unicorn. This has actually been done before and patented.
Similarly, if you take some of those cells and put it on your own head you could have stylish devil horns. And they would be permanent. As in, you could never remove them safely. If that may interfere with your ability to get a job as an adult, but if a child did this to themselves due to compulsory education laws there would be no way that any school could tell the child not to come in with horns on their heads.
@@turnage_michael But is it a literal horse with a fucking horn on its forehead. If the answer is no, then it's not a fucking unicorn.
The transition into the ad is god tier, literally.
Just remembered PKD himself expressed that even god is in ads. Crazy but true.
That almost made me want to try it out. But then I remembered, no. Awesome try though, I'm sure he got 5's of people to sub.
Ruins the sketch
can't believe Zach got John "Big Math" Math himself to endorse Brilliant. truly inspiring
The CEO of math, can't get a better than that person to endorse your product
fr bt
right after teaching us the transitive property
4:59
I like how Noah straightup knows what's next so he says "I hate you"
"god dammit"
*two hours later*
"Ok I'm done"
@@stasiafon You need to get 2.
"Which of course led to Euclid discovering the transative property"
ahahahaha I'm legit dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I didn't expect it and I fucking cried lmfao
i saw this comment the exact time this was said😂
Somebody needs to explain that one to me.
It's unbelievable how many jokes Zach fits into these skits. And how he just has an unlimited supply of them. Counting all of his videos, he must've told tens of thousands of unique jokes.
I think we can all agree this is the best interpretation of God
funkiest
If a human was God, this would be it.
Agreed
more like gen z became god
As a Christian, absolutely
"How am I supposed to get every animal from the OCEAN?"
"I dunno. You got a boat right there."
"People were asking for pictures, autographs, he was signing girls' chests..."
Noah: *whips out hammer and chisel* "ok, where do you want it?"
Considering all the women would be related to him, very strange
@Isdrakon Adam and eve had 3 sons 🤣 the Bible has more !ncest than p0rnhub 😅
Even if he got every sea creature, that leaves every type of bug as well. Yikes.
@Jalopezlag are you sure about insects? Cause iirc the bible had something about breath or something that they used to excuse them
Ye and does he get the ones that are like thousands of fleet below the the sea level or only the ones that we know and how did they survive like Ik most of them would b snacking on a whale or something and chimpanzee and wasps are just ducks for no reason most of the time
Image having every species of Wasp and Spider on that arc
@@joseignaciomontes5712 Then how did they survive?
Why sea creatures tho? It's just a flood, they can swim, up to them
"Which of course led to Euclid discovering the transitive property" 💀💀
I know
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 perfection
''Angel bet me 20 dollars I wouldn't'' is basically how Job's story went
Job's family: God why have you forsaken us.
God: Satan was talking mad nasty and I couldn't let it slide.
@@driftingwolf0 Devil: I guess he’s not all benevolent.
@@driftingwolf0 more like he's proving satan wrong
Well you're not wrong satan was still an angel he just wasnt in heaven during that time.
@@johndoesstuff352 which wouldnt have been a problem, except.. i know at the end he got everything back in spades, but unless there was some soul transfer shit going on, his original children are all still dead
As one of the original Noahs, I can confirm chasing the second cheetah made me want to flood heaven back.
😂😂👍
Imagine if they were both male
Holy shit that was a truly godlike sponsor segue xD
yeah that shit was flawless
I even moved my mouse to make sure UA-cam knew I was there, then proceeded to slow-clap. I think that's the best segue I've ever seen.
Noah had one hell of a character ark in this video
Take my like
If you've got suggestions for other bible stories, leave them here!
How Adam and Eve actually populated the whole Earth. I actually used to ask this at Sunday School, and never got a satisfactory answer. Over to you Zach…..
Joseph being told to marry Mary, mother of Jesus even though God got her pregnant already.
@@aurorajones908 I mean I don’t know about you, but that screams gunshot wedding to me!
Or that time God blessed Samson to be swole and he murdered 100 Philippines with a donkeys jaw bone
Feel free to use that exact wording, "God blessed Samson to be swole"
1) The Jackie Chan Adventures reference gives me life. That show was one of my favorites as a kid
2) Noah should be really happy God didn’t include all the insects and much smaller animals and microscopic organisms.
How do you know he didn’t?
Jackie chan was one of my favorites growing up, hearing it here was amazing.
You portray them like in Greek mythology where they interact with humans, and have human emotions, also that end transition to the sponsor was clean
You totally missed the part where he had to get seven pairs of clean animals like certain birds and animals.
He missed a lot. And it's common to understand that all of those creatures came in by themselves. Even though God commands to Noah to "take" them animals with him, the final result is expressed "there went in two and two of every pair". Same verb as for Noah, "Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife..." etc. There's room for interpretation but in jewish and Christian cultures it's common understanding that God provided his will himself, so Noah didn't have to do the impossible.0
Yes, but like fr this is so funny even if he missed some details
@@ИванБорисюк-п7э build a boat big enough to hold all that stuff sounds pretty impossible to me
@@jackadams3878it took 120 years apparently
@@snailcheeseyt well i mean, we're talking about a massive ship being built by 8 people, max
are we not gonna mention the fact that water animals can.. just.. stay in the water?
Fresh water vs sea water
Changes in water pressure can also kill them
Water animals are sensitive to changes in pH or temperature. This is even at the same depth / pressure or in the same salt / sweet water environment.
Perhaps, before the flood, there were not fresh water fish?
and why doesn't god just help him do it.
according to what I know I think god sent like angels or something to help build the ark.
"And that's how Euclid discovered the transitive property" such a good line
ive been waitin on this, this could be a great series
So, no joke... it was this story in Sunday school which turned me into an atheist. 7 year old me was like, "No. No way you get 2 of every animal on 1 boat... and they don't all kill each other or starve."
Even though I’m a Christian, that’s hilarious
@hipnoamadeus What if I Pangea was a thing back then?
I mean we know 100% that flood didn't ever happen.
@@greenlitlleman How?
@@ZTheZtickman26 Science and history? Lol.
Wile God was killing everything, Noah was playing Pokemon trying to catch 'em all!
That's not how the story goes, but your comment is actually funny! I laughed at this one!
About those globes, I bought one some months ago and it actually is really good. As an astronomy enthusiast, it really is an amazing investment. But the big plus side is that It works like a charm to attract ladies. Get some, lads!
So, you carry it with you everywhere you go? Or how exactly does it achieve that lady attraction?
@@lonestarr1490 you wear it as a hat
@@lonestarr1490 you surgically insert it in your hands so you can telekinetically control a floating globe wherever you go
They are endorsed by God himself so I'd say they are a pretty good investment
Only someone who owns such a globe would ever think such a globe attracts ladies lol
The bible series is honestly too good! Keep ‘em coming Zach
6:43 "The Bethlehem School of Edging" is some crazy work!
*I love when Noah said "It's buildin' time!" and builded all over the Ark. Truly one of the Arks of all time.*
Top 10 character's arcs of all time
Stampy cat be like
“Builded all over the ark” is temporarily my favorite sentence I’ve ever heard
lmao
Old Testament god is basically a 12 year old who got the Sims and then entertains himself by trying to kill them.
So the flood was getting all the Sims in the pool and removing the ladder?
LOL. I even want to kill one of my character who is a plant yet she does not die. Only hibernating 😂
$20 being like free sushi is such a good reference
One of the most brilliant ways to talk about a sponsor, brilliant!!!
I like how god is so casual about commiting genocide.
You're gonna love the Old testament.
Wait for what would happen in this present time.
@@gabor6259 If you think Gods Wild, wait until you read about Zeus and Poseidon!
The angles were f***ing the people trying to prevent Jesus Christ from being born, so their offspring had to go🌊☠️🛶
@@gabor6259 and we found someone who... Doesn't understand the old testament
1:21 "And tell your wife I said sorry 'bout the rain."
👁️👄👁️ My God (literally) The slyest burn I've _ever_ heard.
"The soggy nun" - I was in the library and absolutely howled out laughing
That was one of the best transitions into an ad i'v ever seen
I like how Noah just doesn't question why the flood would kill water animals
Animals breathe underwater not from the O in H2O (gills don't perform electrolysis) but because oxygen is dissolved into the water and filtered out by gills. Sudden massive increase in the volume of water without equivalent increase in the amount of dissolved oxygen would dispurse what already exists - kinda like sucking the oxygen out of a room and replacing it with nitrogen. Obviously, that would be pretty fatal. That said, Noah probably wouldn't know that so your point stands.
This is how to make proper advertisements! Dude - You are genius among the living! And if count how I hate ANY advertisements - it is real deal! Wish You virtue and strenght to realise it!
Until this day, I thought buffalo and bison were the same thing
Actually I just looked it up. The American buffalo is a type of Bison. Same family: Bovidae.
I love how Zach's version/interpretation of God is consistent. Really impressive tbh
I liked this one. You managed to do the skit and combine it with the ad at the end nicely, without taking the flare out of the whole setup too!
I lost it at "He used Brilliant."
Mans getting consistent!!!!
Jesus, my wife thinks I gone insane laughing my @ss out alone in the smoking chamber
I literally died when you said and thats how Euclid discovered the transative property LMFAOOOO
Thank you so much for putting the sponsor at the very end so that I could quit the video early without having to watch any of that shit!
Love your content Zach
The interviews were my favorite part. Genuinely hilarious.
In the bible
God: i am gonna flood the earth and i need you to gather 2 of every species which is more than 10 million species
Noah:okey dokey no problemo
If I’m not mistaken, I’m pretty sure in the original story God gathers all the animals for Noah and leads them into the ark
@@zsan157 still nonsense
@@ihateads never said it wasn’t
@@ihateads How would it be nonsense. If God exists and made the universe, God surely would be capable of gathering more 20 million animals.
@@tyrannosauruszeppelin2205 are you fr?
Your transition to the Brilliant ad was brilliant!
“You’re gonna get SO MUCH TAIL!”
Noah: fine. I’ll do it.
Noah gets tail
“I shouldn’t have let him in, but…”
"How did Noah build the ark so quickly?"
Methamphetamine. He used methamphetamine.
Actually the best version of the ark story I've heard. LITTERALLY HALARIOUS!
Lmao just discovered this guy. I can't decide what to watch next
*God slightly hitting the table at **1:00*
*EARTHQUAKE*
That sponsor transition was Brilliant.
I'll see myself out.
0:26 seconds in and already dying of laughter
Ahh I think that I got the instructions wrong. The ark told me to build a god.
Actually, it’s the told that instructioned the me to God the Ark.
God and Noah
great duo
😂
4:17 the way he said "shut up shut up now" is hilarious
Dude that transition to the Brilliant ad cut was impressively smooth and smart.. You really are quite talented in this 🤩
This was by far the best segway into a sponsorship I have ever seen. Bravo!
Loving the daily vids. Keep it up.
Jesus's third cousin had me rolling.
Angel: I bet you $20 that you won’t flood the ear-
God: Challenge accepted
Ok that was the best sponsorship segway I've seen in a while
7:37 We found him, boys. Get your rifles. We're gonna take revenge for years of suffering because of this guy
I got my socket wrench 🔧
If the transitive property had been explained to me like this in school I would have learned how to read.
Smoothest transition into a sponsor ever
absolutely love the vids man
but then he realised he got 2 male cheetahs
Co-Inventor of the Hol An#l Bead😂😂😂😂
i loved the part where noah said “its ark building time” and arked all over the place. i felt the whole scene coming inside me and my family
It was truly one of the arks of all time
I don’t know why but the fucking cheetah joke made me lol
I'm wondering how he got every animal gathered on a boat in 3 weeks, 3 days, and 3 hours. Then like 5 more hours for a cheetah lmao
That sponsored segment was brilliant
4:09: I don't think we need to save water animals from a flood.
We do not. Noah did not.
That was the best transition into an advertisement I’ve ever seen. Well done.😀
When he got to the Cheetah part, I laughed so hard I paused the video to CATCH my breath 🤣
I loved that god made a whole new species just to kill all but 2, lol.
That is the single best ad transition I've ever seen
Fan part- humans can catch cheetahs no problem.
Cheetah is a burst speed predator, it needs long recovery periods between runs, human is a persistance hunter, we can run, and run, and run.
If we can see it...we can catch it.
I like the fact that there are mobile phones in these historic skits
I love how Noah knows all this but didn't know what a boat was 🤣
Omg the chyrons have me dead. 😂
He still forgot the dinosauers
Apparently Brilliant is essential to the fact life on earth is still alive the way it is!
God has seen Jackie Chan Adventures. Now that's lore.
That Flawless sponsor transition made me crack a rib laughing.
This video was already jam packed with amazing jokes and then the names at 5:48 absolutely annihilated me.
4:54 The freaking kisscartoon watermark
bro the transitive part had me dead-
No hate, seriously, no hate but, how the hell did you managed to get THIS video sponsored??
because YOU KNOW HOW NOAH WAS ABLE TO BIG ASS ARK WITH BRILLIANT
“ don't hate me ... gotta get a cheetah .. you gotta get one more..... ”
my favorite animal
Lmao nice transition 🤣 lol
Brilliant transition
5:55 For Jesus to have a third cousin, he would have to have a great grandfather, which would mean god would have to have a father and a grandfather, which I don't think is mentioned anywhere in the bible.
You know you can have Cousins on the other side of your family right?
@@ConstantOwlkWell yeah but my point was more concisely spoken by just talking about that.