Are Chinese Women Heartless?

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  • Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
  • They certainly can seem that way according to western standards, but there's a reason for this and I'm going to explain it....
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 14 тис.

  • @tracy5250
    @tracy5250 4 роки тому +1699

    I know a Chinese lady divorced her husband in China then married a Japanese man. That Japanese man worked couple jobs to support her dream to come to the US to study. After she came here, she started dating US citizens because she wanted to get green card. I feel so bad for her Japanese husband or any US citizen might marry her.

    • @youraphrodisiac.895
      @youraphrodisiac.895 4 роки тому +102

      Wow that's so bad

    • @danae5578
      @danae5578 4 роки тому +101

      Ugh selfish

    • @matts2959
      @matts2959 4 роки тому +75

      Unfortunately, it is happening out there. But to be fair, not every Chinese ladies are like that. Be Awesome.

    • @nickeldime1691
      @nickeldime1691 4 роки тому +74

      Oh I could believe it. I am Chinese American myself, and I can tell you that I sometimes do not trust Chinese woman seems to me there two face poker face liars. I sometimes think to myself that I would rather date an american because they are more straight forward and not seem to be hiding anything.

    • @herbertlee8529
      @herbertlee8529 4 роки тому +15

      我有一个朋友系列

  • @kmcpickl
    @kmcpickl Рік тому +134

    That happened to my brother. He had to sponsor her daughter for college, not in the deal. She spent tons of time traveling back home to be with family. He married her to have someone to grow old with, but he died here in America alone. Then she came back to collect his inheritance. True story.

    • @DrJohnPollard
      @DrJohnPollard Рік тому

      Wow, that's a good one. Personally though, I don't think it matters what culture or race it's all the same. Women are the thieves because they can be.

    • @SinfolCat
      @SinfolCat Рік тому +2

      @@DrJohnPollard are u really saying their culture has nothing to do with how they raised

    • @thedog5k
      @thedog5k 10 місяців тому +3

      WTF

    • @leosunaquamoon
      @leosunaquamoon 10 місяців тому +2

      Do you go to work without expecting payment then? Are women supposed to be sex worker and a maid without compensation?

    • @GHOST25938
      @GHOST25938 4 місяці тому +7

      ​@@leosunaquamoon you got to be joking... First of all "sex worker"?! It should be mutual and not be seen as a job, otherwise why even marry.
      Secondly, she probably didn't do any of the above if the dude dies alone because she spends all the time with her family

  • @DanielFlood94
    @DanielFlood94 4 роки тому +1136

    Takes notes, find a divorced Chinese woman with dead parents

    • @marshwetland3808
      @marshwetland3808 4 роки тому +26

      ROFL!! BTW, my parents totally neglected me and had no input into my life, but the Chinese side is also fucked.

    • @Ushed92388
      @Ushed92388 4 роки тому +14

      Why divorced? Can you link the video please!!!

    • @Ushed92388
      @Ushed92388 4 роки тому +31

      Just finished the video, now i know why.

    • @Tuan615
      @Tuan615 4 роки тому +12

      LMAO

    • @mitchmclean3898
      @mitchmclean3898 4 роки тому +78

      After being in a relationship with a Chinese girl for 5/5 years, I remember last year, I went on one date with a Chinese girl,. The date went well, but eventually t didn't work out because she freaked out on me because I dared to ask her if she wanted dessert on a dinner date without realizing she was on her period... Chinese women cannot eat ice-cream on a period even though every other type of woman can... Anyway, I heard that BOTH opf her parents were dead and immediately thought to myself, "THIS IS THE ONE".... But there was the ice-cream incident so I guess I'll never know....

  • @HDPinkFloyd
    @HDPinkFloyd 3 роки тому +541

    Exactly correct, My girlfriend from Tianjin left me because her mother did not want her dating a foreigner.
    We remained friends in secret ever since.

    • @danielzhang6247
      @danielzhang6247 3 роки тому +12

      BFF

    • @Restless_Vibes27
      @Restless_Vibes27 3 роки тому +8

      same with me and my ex except she was Nepali

    • @rukus9585
      @rukus9585 2 роки тому +40

      With benefits???

    • @jeremyb2707
      @jeremyb2707 2 роки тому +10

      Yep, after my gf broke up with me she would urn off her phone if she came to visit, because she didn't want her parents to know (she had gps location sharing with them)

    • @chrisr.6638
      @chrisr.6638 2 роки тому +8

      @@rukus9585 damn you stole my comment xD

  • @VivekJainM
    @VivekJainM 4 роки тому +1125

    You don't just marry the Girl, you marry the entire Family...

    • @mequeimouze
      @mequeimouze 4 роки тому +105

      This is true in many cultures. Except in the US, where families live far apart and only see each other once a year on thanksgiving.

    • @ggh_-ts6pn
      @ggh_-ts6pn 4 роки тому +46

      its true. I'm Asian and once I broke up with a girl because I saw so many red flags with her parents. When your dating an Asian you have to meet their parents several times and getting to know them well first before moving into marriage. Its unfortunate but thats the reality. So many current boomer generation of parents in Asia are so fucking entitled. We didnt ask to be born for fucking sake, why the fuck do you always said "be grateful we gave birth to you and raise you, so you have to always do what your parents" when we have disagreement to them. I have hope with the current generation tho, we are far more individualists and less family centric than the boomer's generation. As an Asian, fuck these entitled parents.

    • @PicnicInNineHells
      @PicnicInNineHells 3 роки тому +1

      That’s so true, thought I (and maybe I can represent the majority of my generation) hate that. While things might be better for following years for the young people are changing.

    • @utkarshg.bharti9714
      @utkarshg.bharti9714 3 роки тому +3

      @@ggh_-ts6pn That seems to be a really extreme case that you encountered. If it is not out of love and affection, then it is just brute ego that must be set aside.

    • @markboudreau1410
      @markboudreau1410 3 роки тому

      Yes indeed!

  • @thesecheesespleasejesus4238
    @thesecheesespleasejesus4238 4 роки тому +758

    When my brother left his Chinese girlfriend to return to UK, he overheard her complaining to a friend “now I have to find another one” like her hairdryer had broken.

    • @duncanyourmate2433
      @duncanyourmate2433 4 роки тому +42

      prone to jealousy and extremes , its cultural , an no doubt she found one ,

    • @yj7000
      @yj7000 4 роки тому +9

      Cringe

    • @conmanumber1
      @conmanumber1 4 роки тому +28

      @Sunny Bird Filipinas are great people. my ex workmate was married to one 25 yrs his junior. She was a very bright intelligent quiet classy lady whom he was very proud to have and she helped and worked hard on their greenhouse tomato growing operation. When he died he left everything to her. My mate whom didnt know that i known these people actually walked thru the supermarket one evening and saw her and asked her out then ended up marrying her which i believe he is a very poor quality husband.

    • @rfsalad4118
      @rfsalad4118 4 роки тому +26

      Come on dude, almost all my female friends here in the UK have had 8-9 boyfriends by age 28. One night stands, well girls don't share that with their male friends. So I don't know how many one night stands my friends have had.

    • @primus7776
      @primus7776 4 роки тому +45

      Heads up:
      That's women across the planet.
      Some just disguise it better !

  • @alben7151
    @alben7151 3 роки тому +108

    Thank you. This video literally saved my life. Thank you! Temporary heartbreak. A lifetime saved.

  • @jeremyb2707
    @jeremyb2707 2 роки тому +43

    Dated a Chinese-American for three years and can confirm. Parents pressuring her to get married = her pressuring me to get married. Wanted her fam to move in with us. I said hell nah, so she said we could go to her parents' house every evening for dinner. Eventually she broke up with me, as her parents ended up not liking me. She came over a few times after that and would turn off her phone so her parents wouldn't know (she used gps location sharing with them). It's quite pathetic.

    • @Legitpenguins99
      @Legitpenguins99 Місяць тому

      Damn, thats pathetic. You dodged a bullet my friend

  • @uwotm8
    @uwotm8 4 роки тому +879

    Asian parents don't want their children to leave, our parents can't wait.

    • @pachomiussinanicus1728
      @pachomiussinanicus1728 4 роки тому +94

      because Asian parents consider their children as mutual funds, 401k plan
      will u let your investment vehicles leave u if u are investor?
      lol

    • @jerrypeukert5732
      @jerrypeukert5732 4 роки тому +22

      @@pachomiussinanicus1728 And we don't with social security and the massive deficits we accumulate to keep our lifestyle going at the expense of future generations.

    • @pachomiussinanicus1728
      @pachomiussinanicus1728 4 роки тому +2

      Jerry Peukert that is the fundamental issue of human society, let alone human beings have been living far too long.
      Longer u live, more bills awaits u

    • @phoenixrich149
      @phoenixrich149 4 роки тому +15

      Woody Allen invested into his own Daughter...lol

    • @vgrof2315
      @vgrof2315 4 роки тому +12

      Asian mothers are still tying their sons' shoes for them when the son is 35. Is it any wonder Asian male business, government and military leaders are such bozos?

  • @The1920sChannel
    @The1920sChannel 3 роки тому +130

    A lot of this reminds of how it is here in Japan, though it's not always exactly the same. But overly-controlling parents, loveless marriages, etc. are more common than I ever would have thought before I came here. The heartless aspect can also be roughly translated to Japan, but I feel like it's less about the family and more about themselves. The most common way for a Japanese woman to break-up seems to be to just stop contacting their partner because of the awkwardness of doing it in person. These countries are so interesting, but the logic between East and West is completely at odds with each other, and it's very frustrating to live in such a polar opposite atmosphere.

    • @midgetydeath
      @midgetydeath Рік тому +7

      It doesn't help that asian cultures in general place pride above all else. Putting the worst sin a human can commit due to all the harm coming from it as the peak virtue is...well...you can just look at any asian country's history. Like, if you do something horrible it's considered better to hide it than to admit it and face the consequences because saving face is more important than accepting shame. As for loveless marriage, that's because of the lack of dutifulness. Or rather, women's lack of dutifulness. Love grows from devotion which cannot exist without a sense of duty to someone or something and acting on that. This is why men, who still fill their traditional roles and therefore have that sense of duty and live by it, fall in love pretty easily with women whereas women casually destroy their relationships and hurt their men and divorce-rape constantly. They're not in love with the guy because they're busy trying to do the same things men do in the belief that what attracts women to men will also attract men to women. As a result of this, they're not dutiful in the slightest and so they feel no devotion and so no love grows.
      There is no such thing as romantic "love" or love outside of the growth I described. What almost everyone mistakes for love is just a crush. Being an adult doesn't change that.

    • @leosunaquamoon
      @leosunaquamoon 10 місяців тому +1

      Western men aren’t devoted either, do you show up to work without expecting pay? If you want your wife to be dutiful then be devoted to help her family. Saying nice words won’t help.

    • @givemewatermelon
      @givemewatermelon 6 місяців тому

      @@midgetydeath 하..인정

    • @givemewatermelon
      @givemewatermelon 6 місяців тому

      @@SibilaDelphos 이것도 인정

  • @JoshuaRAWRR
    @JoshuaRAWRR 4 роки тому +358

    I dated a chinese girl for about 4 months, she left me because I didn't have my own property yet, i was still 18. Literally made me think of the whole "YOU DOCTOR YET?" stereotype, except it was "YOU HAVE HOUSE YET?"

    • @dasun7509
      @dasun7509 3 роки тому +43

      Lmao what she crazy as hell

    • @utkarshg.bharti9714
      @utkarshg.bharti9714 3 роки тому +77

      That's what happens when your society normalizes extreme materialism. Forget Asian, get ready to see any woman ask that question in the coming generations. China went from frugal to extreme materialism without hitting any speed-breakers in the middle.

    • @nefas3904
      @nefas3904 3 роки тому +8

      @Relax Relax asian =/= chinese.
      Also, chinese are not all the same.

    • @eigelgregossweisse9563
      @eigelgregossweisse9563 3 роки тому +16

      @@nefas3904 Tends to be what we see in New Zealand, we have mainland, all parts, but mainland thinks mostly like that. They think every guy is like a small Trump, or should be, "my father gave me a small loan of a million dollars"....

    • @vandagylon2885
      @vandagylon2885 3 роки тому

      @@nefas3904 lol

  • @scottcurtis5322
    @scottcurtis5322 3 роки тому +122

    In any relationship,
    The one that cares the least has the power.

    • @softpawsasmr
      @softpawsasmr 2 місяці тому +2

      So painful..so true. I'm living it...I pray I can heal from this

    • @szhinkoszhinko5006
      @szhinkoszhinko5006 2 місяці тому +1

      @@softpawsasmr you’ll be fine. take one step each day. everyday it gets easier. once you are over it you will feel a great strength in you.

  • @MrHousecup
    @MrHousecup 4 роки тому +792

    Chinese Wife: "Sponsor my parents, or we're getting a divorce."
    Me: "Bye."

    • @LesHistoiresMagiques7
      @LesHistoiresMagiques7 4 роки тому +52

      MrHousecup you're definitely right, that man has a kid though, it is very different then. The wife could leave with the kid easily and even leave the country...

    • @knuke9596
      @knuke9596 4 роки тому +38

      @@LesHistoiresMagiques7 But will she really want to be a single mother? He should've called her bluff.

    • @DarkBalisto
      @DarkBalisto 4 роки тому +12

      But isn't divorce a really expensive thing in the usa? if you don't have a contract she can press half your stuff outta you and if she's willing to blackmail you over her parents guess she makes also sure a divorce would cost you dearly

    • @nhunka44
      @nhunka44 4 роки тому +41

      The poor sod had yellow fever and fell for a calculating woman who was looking for a dumbo to seduce and get herself a green card.

    • @knuke9596
      @knuke9596 4 роки тому +7

      @@DarkBalisto It's a risk but I'd be gambling on the fact that the wife in question would be miserable raising the child on her own. Even if she got half it will be much more stressful and difficult situation than if she had a husband. Him calling her bluff may shock some sense into her.

  • @darrelnordyke3625
    @darrelnordyke3625 5 років тому +164

    I have been married to a Chinese lady. 14 months later, I have determine that her attitude is what is mine is mine, and what is yours is also hers.

    • @lavish_1717
      @lavish_1717 4 роки тому +1

      Darrel Nordyke
      Are you a white guy ?

    • @TheLinus1997
      @TheLinus1997 4 роки тому +8

      That's just women, bro.

    • @le-blanc1440
      @le-blanc1440 4 роки тому +4

      That is just women in general.

    • @cykablyat7393
      @cykablyat7393 4 роки тому +1

      Mortal Silence people used to put women in their place.... now women want to be equal when, biologically, they are not. End of story. Women deserve the best, not everything. Fuck you.

    • @faqdir
      @faqdir 4 роки тому

      Inayah Daneen wtf , does matter...u leftist

  • @cptmalcolmreynolds3623
    @cptmalcolmreynolds3623 6 років тому +397

    I divorced a Chinese woman. She was EXACTLY how Winston described

    • @threexfromwsg
      @threexfromwsg 6 років тому +14

      Ryan Brown. Lucky you got out bro.

    • @WeAreSMC96
      @WeAreSMC96 6 років тому +10

      God bless you. It isnt worth it, not worth the rest of your unlimited potential life that is.

    • @exposingliars9824
      @exposingliars9824 6 років тому +67

      I had a friend who was married to a Chinese woman. They were married for 10 years and he bought her two properties. She divorced him, kept the properties, and gave him nothing. It was a disgusting display.

    • @franktaylor7978
      @franktaylor7978 4 роки тому +2

      Me too

    • @bryanx5829
      @bryanx5829 4 роки тому +25

      @@Ray89135 there's no sex in the world worth 2 properties.

  • @VideoAssignmentLF
    @VideoAssignmentLF Рік тому +115

    I told my chinese girlfriend that only women get to be loved unconditionally. Men are loved based on what they can provide
    She said that wasn't true and she liked me holistically
    Weeks later, I told her we should split the bills
    She wanted to break up

    • @buckadillafilms
      @buckadillafilms Рік тому +16

      Crazy how the truth always comes out when the rubber hits teh road

    • @Eris_Norregard
      @Eris_Norregard Рік тому +17

      Dude, I'm pretty sure women aren't loved unconditionally either. Would you still love her if she became completely ugly? Would you love her if she was lazy and never wanted to help you with anything? Would you still love her if she was constantly critical of you and never stopped emotionally abusing you? Probably not.

    • @maalikserebryakov
      @maalikserebryakov Рік тому

      @@Eris_NorregardThats true tbh when i see a pudgy uggg girl im not gonna lie i recoil and make a cringe face without even realising it

    • @thedog5k
      @thedog5k 10 місяців тому

      @@Eris_Norregard well.. nothing is loved unconditionally
      But for every unattractive woman there is a ton of desperate dudes that are willing to do the most. Love is conditional, but whatever condition she is in.... she'll be loved.
      4/10? Girl is fine, dudes a loser
      cripple below the waist? Guys a lame horse, girl is a fleshligh and gets a butler.
      Fat woman? Body positivity
      Fat man? Ew.

    • @6Haunted-Days
      @6Haunted-Days 10 місяців тому

      LMFAO ummmm yes sorry hun but women aren't loved unconditionally either Christ you a child?!? Soooo a woman If you get fat? Yep no more love ....get older? Nope love taken away....
      And ON AND ON.....so really STFU and grow up and LOOK AROUND you and stop acting like it's only you who's some victim 🙄🤮🤡

  • @xJohnNguyen
    @xJohnNguyen 5 років тому +108

    I gotta say, I'm really impressed with your ability to keep walking and talking to the camera. Your multitasking skills are very good! You also barely look like you're breaking a sweat.

  • @GlobeTrotterAlpha
    @GlobeTrotterAlpha 6 років тому +268

    Very insightful video Winston. Telling it like it is without sugar coating stuff, good or bad. Thank you and congrats on nearly hitting 400K subs!

    • @JH-dg9um
      @JH-dg9um 3 роки тому +1

      "Very insightful video," looks like you have successfully brainwashed someone!

    • @GBValode
      @GBValode 3 роки тому +4

      @@JH-dg9um thx for your irrelevant contribution. Waiting for the rebuttal video. Until then, have a nice day, nobody

  • @StefanVerstappen
    @StefanVerstappen 4 роки тому +353

    My first wife was Chinese I met when I lived in Taiwan. Biggest mistake of my life. 30 years later and I still have nightmares.

    • @NNA1984
      @NNA1984 4 роки тому +12

      Haha. Sorry.

    • @jackcro8825
      @jackcro8825 4 роки тому +54

      I got to agree with you I am married to a Chinese women for 20 years and my life is hell most of the time.

    • @StefanVerstappen
      @StefanVerstappen 4 роки тому +76

      @@jackcro8825 Has she stabbed you yet? All my old buddies that married Chinese women were stabbed by them. I used to hide the kitchen knives before going to bed.

    • @user-nf3hh8kn5r
      @user-nf3hh8kn5r 4 роки тому +5

      @@StefanVerstappen dumbass

    • @aoeu256
      @aoeu256 4 роки тому +1

      @@jackcro8825 What happened?

  • @AJ-lm4zn
    @AJ-lm4zn Рік тому +46

    Similar things happened in my life. I felt I was compelled to get married before 25/26 years old. My ex was heartless and I suffered throughout the years. My parents said:' You should take your .. home so that I can decide if ... is a good match for you.'
    It was a complete waste of my life in all those many years. I began living by myself and so was away from the influence of my parents which gave me the space to figure out what exactly went wrong and why I felt compelled in all those years.
    I will not seek marriage in China.

    • @Tetun2312
      @Tetun2312 26 днів тому +1

      Best wish to you and it's a wise of you not to seek a marriage in China

  • @10edde
    @10edde 4 роки тому +234

    thats pretty common in asia. One of my fellows, who lives in Bangkok told me once: The only woman you want to date here, is an orphan. Otherwise you pay for the whole clan.. sad but true..

    • @txikitule
      @txikitule 4 роки тому +35

      I had a Filipino co-worker in the US and his wife's whole family expected all his money to support them across the other side of the world. I actually adore Filipinos and have many friends among them, but man, the Asian mindset...

    • @jackkruese9929
      @jackkruese9929 4 роки тому +5

      Not just Asia, western men are used for that all over the world, happened to 3 of my friends

    • @nadura55
      @nadura55 4 роки тому +9

      So true.
      The whole family comes out for a free ride and it’s expected.

    • @Abhishek-sr2pu
      @Abhishek-sr2pu 4 роки тому +7

      @@jackkruese9929 in india the women live with the husband and his family. The women family may come for some visit once a year. I don't think it's whole asia thing.

    • @jackkruese9929
      @jackkruese9929 4 роки тому +2

      Abhishek Nanda
      Ok didn’t know that, thanks

  • @jackjonmonaghan8758
    @jackjonmonaghan8758 3 роки тому +426

    I'm a British young man and my ex was Chinese. I thought her family was quite modern and seemed quite happy with their daughter dating and potentially marrying me. However, they did always chat about my family business and money, and they did expect me to move to China (although my ex wanted to stay in the UK) for other private reasons. We eventually broke off largely due to COVID and long distance, but she was incredibly cold and ruthless in the breakup period. She broke my heart not once, but twice. I'm still recovering to this day almost 16 months later and now focusing on completing my PhD before dating again.
    Be careful guys, because I have never met a woman as rationale and ruthless in my life. But I don't blame her and this video explained why. I hope she can be happy and have a comfortable life because I think not many average families can achieve this, but anyway, great video and God bless.

    • @yourdailyjelina
      @yourdailyjelina 3 роки тому +15

      Iam in China but Iam African but just within the short period I have been I can tell you it’s not an easy ride,got my chinese friends telling me and complaining all the time ..hope you find peace

    • @anunknowndude
      @anunknowndude 3 роки тому +19

      @@yourdailyjelina God damn, what are you doing there? China and Japan are a no for me... Too much of a not improvement haha

    • @felixz2083
      @felixz2083 3 роки тому +27

      You are not alone bro, being a German in Vietnam my ex is a Vietnamese, I was shocked about the way she dealt with our potential break up; I lost the job due to Covid and had to consider move back to Germany.. She totally ripped my heart to pieces, I still shed tears from time to time and I think I will need much more time to deal with this.

    • @marcusparcussaeculo21
      @marcusparcussaeculo21 3 роки тому +39

      The root of the problem is one of the two: either that your parents did not tell you different people have different priorities in life or that they told you about this but you just forgot. Don't be depressed. Your breakup is an occasion for celebration! You were under an illusion, and by a sequence of fortunate events, you saw the truth and you were saved from a snare. Can you imagine what your life would have been if you had married that woman? A marriage with a woman for whom her old family is a higher priority than her new family is guaranteed to be a disaster. Having been freed from that woman, you can now marry a normal girl and have a happy life! Just don't forget to ask your next girl what her priorities in life are before getting married. What is obvious to you is not so for others, and vice versa.

    • @genevamin7946
      @genevamin7946 2 роки тому +7

      Move on, man. You can release yourself from miserable now.

  • @guihechen4806
    @guihechen4806 5 років тому +535

    I can’t stand the culture of being used all the time even though I was born and lived there. They were the first to mock and ignore me when I was down and miserable, and needed support the most. Then They benefited from me without any appreciation when I was in good position. Completely heartless and shameless! My mother even humiliated and mocked my 3 year old nephew for using diaper! So I made wish to move out, and thank god, I moved to Canada by myself. I refused their request to come here living with me. I don’t care what the culture says because the culture is heartless and Wrong!

    • @TheMikeygas
      @TheMikeygas 5 років тому +48

      you just desribed my family and im from scotland

    • @rockanderson1823
      @rockanderson1823 4 роки тому +51

      @@Ray89135 Ray: Sounds like she wasn't a good Mom.

    • @2davivadiva
      @2davivadiva 4 роки тому +19

      Dang good for you dude. You got major balls. One in a million - like literally

    • @wade6619
      @wade6619 4 роки тому +1

      guihe Chen where is your mom from?where are you from?where is the culture from?

    • @fallen4055
      @fallen4055 4 роки тому

      Parents love thier children... My parents sacrifice everything for me... I do love them

  • @endlessnameless7004
    @endlessnameless7004 3 роки тому +59

    Dude. Your videos are absolutely blowing my mind. I knew China had a rather rigid culture, but I had no idea that it was to this degree. Thank you for reporting on all these things. It's very interesting and enlightening.

    • @manviiam
      @manviiam Рік тому +3

      It's actually very common in Indian and other south asian countries too.

    • @nasib2262
      @nasib2262 9 місяців тому +1

      @@manviiam yep In nepal too

    • @abhaysulya7753
      @abhaysulya7753 4 місяці тому +1

      all Asian country family comes first (from Turkey to Japan)
      in Asian countries you don't just marry the Girl, it's like becoming part of her entire Family...
      it's funny that Every culture views the world differently...from the point of view of their own trials and tribulations... westerns are the only ones that seem surprised by that everyone else doesn't see the world the way they see it

    • @Tetun2312
      @Tetun2312 26 днів тому

      China is such a ridiculous country with many things sound abnormal that seldom even none in west would believe it's actually reality in China

  • @soulclean1983
    @soulclean1983 4 роки тому +334

    I am Chinese living in the west for over 30 years. I believe most of what you said are true. You are very neutral and factual. Thanks.

    • @yangxilu6229
      @yangxilu6229 4 роки тому

      Chelvan Mei which province?

    • @rahusphere
      @rahusphere 4 роки тому +5

      Yangxi Lu Wuhan

    • @WanderingLoner1
      @WanderingLoner1 4 роки тому +1

      @@rahusphere LOL 😂

    • @zavtradnem
      @zavtradnem 4 роки тому +5

      Thank you for the virus

    • @zavtradnem
      @zavtradnem 4 роки тому +1

      @Lewis C. you fucking serious? They got us sick with bat meat

  • @felixz2083
    @felixz2083 3 роки тому +193

    Being a German, I have a couple of years experience in East Asia myself and I can confirm this guy knows pretty well what he talks about...thumbs up

    • @Replicant-by1eh
      @Replicant-by1eh 11 місяців тому

      Sounds like you were in Thailand or there abouts. It's a world apart from China.

    • @felixz2083
      @felixz2083 11 місяців тому +4

      @@Replicant-by1eh 1 year China, 3 years Korea, 2 years Vietnam...

  • @symbolicmeta1942
    @symbolicmeta1942 6 років тому +210

    Wow, This was an amazingly frank video. “She wouldn’t have married me if she hadnt been a divorced woman.”

    • @tylersmith9868
      @tylersmith9868 6 років тому +18

      LostinChina that's Winston for ya, straight up genuine guy.

    • @samthepoet107
      @samthepoet107 6 років тому +30

      I think that is a stupid mentality that there are so many excess men in China who will never find a wife yet they worry about marrying a woman who is divorced. They are not serious.

    • @timk.1395
      @timk.1395 6 років тому +3

      I thought Winston was saying that his wife had already experienced the Chinese type arranged wedding, and it was not what she wanted so she was open to marriage with a foreign man.

    • @samthepoet107
      @samthepoet107 6 років тому +22

      She's open to marriage to a foreign man because a Chinese man considers her used. But if she were not married before she would have not considered him that is the message. It's not so much "arranged wedding" but marriage to a Chinese man the parents can approve. The parents would not have approved. But once she is divorced from the former husband then this expectation no longer holds.

    • @symbolicmeta1942
      @symbolicmeta1942 6 років тому +1

      Wayne Samuel I don’t think it’s so much Chinese men don’t want to marry divorced woman as it is ‘never been married’ men don’t want a divorced woman.... can’t imagine many men who aren’t also divorcees of any country want to marry a woman who has been divorced.

  • @Restless_Vibes27
    @Restless_Vibes27 3 роки тому +133

    i dated a Nepali (Nepalese) woman and it ended in alot of pain for me, mainly because of her family not accepting me and she mentioned in the beggining wanting to marry me but just on paper so she could stay in the country since she was an international student but i still got emotionally attached anyway because she love bombed me alot and made me feel loved and cared about she started acting very cold and emotionless close to when she left me i cried deeply for months after she left me and the trauma still hasnt completely faded, felt like my whole soul was ripped from my body, i havnt been the same person since, i had to go to therapy

    • @JohnJohn-xs5ru
      @JohnJohn-xs5ru 2 роки тому +15

      Yep, life can be brutal. Get some confidence, and a build a strong social life. You will be better equipped to see the red flags

    • @KingKhan-123
      @KingKhan-123 2 роки тому +4

      😂

    • @Restless_Vibes27
      @Restless_Vibes27 2 роки тому +25

      @@KingKhan-123 may i ask whats funny or are you a troll?

    • @alltruth881
      @alltruth881 2 роки тому +8

      Stay strong man

    • @johnlay3040
      @johnlay3040 Рік тому +12

      You must be quite young to be in such a state of emotional sensitivity. No, man, don't be deceived by those people who have been hardened by tough social environment. They know how to separate emotion and practicality of life. Romance doesn't mean anything for them. Survival of the whole family is the first priority. Their love is tied with the obligation to the family, not outsider.

  • @ellejay2439
    @ellejay2439 5 років тому +386

    This is how Indian culture is too. But the moment you show them the 💵 💵💵 all the so called culture and age old traditions disappear into thin air.

    • @d947
      @d947 5 років тому +14

      😂😂😂

    • @d947
      @d947 5 років тому +72

      Money is the language everyone understands 😂

    • @orencio1969
      @orencio1969 5 років тому +47

      money the big equalizer in all cultures around the world, money talk bullshit walk.my ex left me for a rich lawyer then she left him for being a cheap bastard, life is funny in how it reward the gold digger.

    • @jcmontecarlo6123
      @jcmontecarlo6123 5 років тому +10

      fernando mock wow....evil bitch

    • @666huntufireman2
      @666huntufireman2 5 років тому +10

      Exfuknactly.in most 3 world and poverty strikin countries,and I have spent 20+years living in Asia, the most favoured bumper sticker is......you guessed right first time,
      He who has the most gold wins. This was proven by my Father in business 99:9% of the time.So that worldly person that said tradition goes out the door,ie they would sell their relatives for $$🤑🤑🤑🤑$$$,goes to the top of the class.🤓

  • @AfroV
    @AfroV 4 роки тому +255

    I learn more unbiased stuff about Chinese culture from you in twenty minutes than I have in 15 years

    • @1mol831
      @1mol831 3 роки тому +3

      Indian marriage is China on steroids lol

    • @selohcin
      @selohcin 2 роки тому +15

      Probably because you didn't spend much of those 15 years trying to learn about China! Instead, you spent them doing other things.

    • @th3bigbomb
      @th3bigbomb 9 місяців тому +2

      ​@@selohcinour manzz had other priorities. Can you blame him? 😂

  • @thegrimyeaper
    @thegrimyeaper 6 років тому +3008

    "Sponsor my parents, or we're getting divorced."
    BYE BYE BIATCH!

    • @samthepoet107
      @samthepoet107 6 років тому +175

      Most likely she will take the kids to China so good riddance. She is a scammer.

    • @Cafeston
      @Cafeston 6 років тому +132

      You don't have kids obviously.

    • @samthepoet107
      @samthepoet107 6 років тому +92

      Family court is 15 minutes walk from where I live. Lots of men are summoned into court to pay child support. Not every father lives with their kids. And not every mother wants the father living with her. Some women just want kids but not have to deal with a man around the house.

    • @augustomarchi2222
      @augustomarchi2222 6 років тому +54

      hi, I really don't understand... is it so a BIG problem to sponsor them? if you accept family maybe you should to try to find a point of contact. She requested green card in secret..and so? perhaps she feared, and rightly, a closure on his part...

    • @samthepoet107
      @samthepoet107 6 років тому +59

      That is not how the sponsor system works. The relative has to sponsor their own relatives. The husband can provide a financial statement saying he is responsible for them. But American citizens have first preference. She obviously is not an American citizen or else she could sponsor them herself without needing him. Also there is a backlog. China already has many people immigrating to the US. So it could take more than 10 years for her parents to get green cards.

  • @rag8965
    @rag8965 3 роки тому +22

    Very insightful and thought-provoking vlog! It’s a very no nonsense, but truthful approach in cross cultural relations. The lesson here is if you are in a similar situation with a person of opposite sex from a different cultural background, is to do your homework on that person’s cultural background as I’m learning from my marriage to a Filipina being an American myself. The lesson I’m learning from my experience and as you know already Winston is that “family solidarity “ is huge in East Asian cultures in places such as China, Philippines, Vietnam, Korea, Japan, etc. To avoid the pitfalls that many Western people fall into approaching such relationships with rose colored glasses, one must take into account cultural nuances despite that society having a modern face to it. Thanks Winston for this great vlog!

  • @keegobricks9734
    @keegobricks9734 5 років тому +131

    So basically if a chinese woman is willing to marry you, that's a warning sign that you probably shouldn't. 👌

    • @AquaBabe_
      @AquaBabe_ 5 років тому

      Why? Explain

    • @keegobricks9734
      @keegobricks9734 5 років тому +11

      @@AquaBabe_ If she's willing to break from her tradition and become a pariah for marrying a foreign man, that's a red flag that there's something wrong with her.

    • @AquaBabe_
      @AquaBabe_ 5 років тому +6

      @@keegobricks9734 Or Maybe she's in love. Many people will sacrifice alot if they love you. Chinese women are so caring and loving so it's something they're willing to do.

    • @keegobricks9734
      @keegobricks9734 5 років тому +13

      @@AquaBabe_ Very unlikely. If you won millions of dollars in a lottery, then suddenly a supermodel wanted to date you, don't you think you'd be suspicious? Similarly, when everything in her culture tells her not to shame her family and she goes and does it anyways, don't you think it's worth wondering why she is willing to break her tradition?
      It sounds to me like you have a bias because you are involved with a chinese woman, so by that very fact your opinion is going to be skewed.

    • @AquaBabe_
      @AquaBabe_ 5 років тому +5

      @@keegobricks9734 i don't think this applies as much to the younger generations of Chinese women.

  • @CreekValleyCritters
    @CreekValleyCritters 6 років тому +772

    She did not marry you as a last resort lol You are WAY too attractive for that. She married you because her circumstances gave her the freedom to go after someone as awesome as you :)

    • @annasummers5348
      @annasummers5348 6 років тому +2

      Hello one of my favorite pages!!!

    • @CreekValleyCritters
      @CreekValleyCritters 6 років тому +2

      Hi :)

    • @victorgan347
      @victorgan347 6 років тому +3

      Mmm those mutton chops. He'd make a good Mr Darcy

    • @ronaldgarrison8478
      @ronaldgarrison8478 6 років тому

      Well, at least he can feel he beat out all the other foreigners. And that's not a trivial thing.

    • @notreal3164
      @notreal3164 6 років тому +18

      Let's be honest. He's not that attractive by Western standards.

  • @410491047
    @410491047 5 років тому +412

    This guy doesn't just scratch the surface. He sees the phenomenon, he digs out the causes and articulates it really well. As a Chinese I like him.

    • @alanzhan5958
      @alanzhan5958 5 років тому

      But still stereotyped

    • @user-ix7gx9kr1g
      @user-ix7gx9kr1g 5 років тому

      就你个S B看懂中文不?还中国人?

    • @Marty3750
      @Marty3750 5 років тому +1

      You are not Chinese!

    • @psilocybemusashi
      @psilocybemusashi 5 років тому +4

      He is absolutely my favorite newfound youtuber. As an american. I do have a thing for that South African accent. I could listen to it all day.

    • @JohnTaylor-pe5gf
      @JohnTaylor-pe5gf 5 років тому +1

      @@psilocybemusashi I don't think he has much of a South African accent at all.

  • @mikoto7693
    @mikoto7693 2 роки тому +55

    Huh, that actually helps me. I was friends with a group of Chinese overseas students-as much as a foreigner could be and never understood why the women never dated despite spending years here in the UK just because their mothers had told them not to.
    Even when I pointed out they’re half a world away from the parents. How could they know? Now I understand.
    What’s worse is that one of the males showed interest in me and we did date for quite a long time. I don’t regret it, we had good times and I learnt a fair bit. But after we’d all graduated with high to medium scores and it was time for him to either get a job here, potentially with me and taking things to the next level, or go back to China he proverbially dropped me like a hot potato.
    I wasn’t surprised that he chose to go home as I’d entered the relationship knowing it would likely end after five years of education and graduation. But I was surprised how quickly and cleanly he cut all contact despite agreeing to keep in touch as long distant friends. Not once did he reply and I never understood why. After this video it makes sense. He probably abandoned his email account and phone he used here in the UK. At least things make sense now.
    And I get the feeling I dodged a bullet. Imagine if I’d gotten pregnant or we married? Yeesh.

    • @user-jv2np4vm4x
      @user-jv2np4vm4x 2 роки тому +10

      the Chinese culture is very conservative. They do not encourage ex-lovers to remain friends, because their future lover will be jealous if they still have contact with their ex. In fact, having single friends of the opposite sex when they are in a relationship is considered sign of bad character and lack of loyalty to lover. For them, it is a norm that ex-lovers cannot be friends. They are just not mature enough to maintain friendships after breaking up.

    • @nickyhartmann9852
      @nickyhartmann9852 Рік тому +1

      thanks for sharing what you have lived through, your story, with us. Something similar happened to me, although my partner was not from China.

    • @edwardduarte7393
      @edwardduarte7393 11 місяців тому +1

      I had a friend that was traveling all over the world shooting commercials and he was like "Wear a condom". I was with a Chinese girl and she ripped off the condom and like go ahead.

    • @lamentate07
      @lamentate07 10 місяців тому

      @@user-jv2np4vm4x And when they get divorced, they usually hate each other.

  • @saxtant
    @saxtant 6 років тому +123

    I married a Chinese woman and lived in Beijing before divorcing and returning to Australia with my kids, I would say the reason she married me is because she was rebelling against her parents as you say can happen. If only I understood all this before. Your vlog is an important one.

    • @SRoy-jx8my
      @SRoy-jx8my 2 роки тому +8

      Seems that the heartlessness, in this case, is even more profound because the Chinese woman forsake her OWN kids!!
      Even animal mothers do not abandon their offspring!!

    • @ericvincentverheijen9390
      @ericvincentverheijen9390 2 роки тому +2

      Same here.

    • @americanpatriot3710
      @americanpatriot3710 Рік тому +3

      Looks like they are controlled by their parents, who still treat them like kids.

  • @UkraineJames2000
    @UkraineJames2000 6 років тому +324

    I guess Winston's mom isn't going swimming with Him and his wife anytime soon.

  • @edwardgaines6561
    @edwardgaines6561 4 роки тому +199

    _"Either you get fixed, or you get replaced."_
    Well, damn.

    • @jonerrijuseppi6127
      @jonerrijuseppi6127 4 роки тому +3

      U Can look for a religious woman !!!👍🏼🤔🤗🙏🏼

    • @gtm5650
      @gtm5650 4 роки тому +2

      @@jonerrijuseppi6127
      Are there any in China?😅✌

    • @sneakycheeky531
      @sneakycheeky531 4 роки тому +1

      @@gtm5650 yeh loads. all these propaganda channels just say their isnt

    • @sneakycheeky531
      @sneakycheeky531 4 роки тому

      @Razer Mantis that wasnt directed at the guy in the channel specifically. Just talking about the people who say theres no religion in china but he has said stuff that are missinformation in a lot of his videos. Duno if he is just mooching of the views which = money or just believing half the crap spread about china

  • @aaaaaaaard9586
    @aaaaaaaard9586 Рік тому +15

    I love the quote by Rei from Rei’s real talk, she says “when the ccp simplified chinese characters, they removed “heart” (心) from the character “love” (愛).” I think this best describes what has been going on in hearts and minds of people under the ccp.
    In contrast try listening to the Taiwanese song “the moon represents my heart”, she sounds the polar opposite of a heartless chinese woman.

  • @juergenernst1320
    @juergenernst1320 6 років тому +260

    I guess you can't have the cookie and eat it, too... We complain about the loss of family traditions in the West, but we don't like the commitment that comes with it.

    • @zararatcliff5113
      @zararatcliff5113 5 років тому +25

      very good point

    • @tomleadbitter7165
      @tomleadbitter7165 5 років тому +11

      That's a very interesting point and something i hadn't considered.

    • @Tonixxy
      @Tonixxy 5 років тому +6

      @Albert Lima Lima ou shit treat Asians as a minority group in west with all rights but you can't say or do shit in Asia.
      Equal treatment pls

    • @briangbur8743
      @briangbur8743 5 років тому +3

      I DO

    • @t.d.phillips7283
      @t.d.phillips7283 5 років тому

      @Albert Lima Lima Excuse me but are you suggesting that Otto Warmbier wasn't just beaten into submission, but was more than likely just married to a North Korean Woman and thus the obvious results.

  • @wattlebough
    @wattlebough 4 роки тому +479

    The infatuation phase is called “love bombing”. It’s manipulation she’ll use to get you on the hook and emotionally invested. It rarely lasts much more than a month, then she’ll start treating you with indifference and making you feel more and more devalued. There’s no salvaging the situation at this point, it will not get better, and you might be at risk of lying to yourself that if I just push through and try harder things will get better. They won’t. Moral of the story, first sign of indifference and her devaluing you, dump her. Don’t hesitate, it’s over and she needs to be gone from your life, end of story time to move on. And be careful, if you make clear that it’s over she may suddenly start the love bombing again after a few tears to draw you back in and you’ll be tempted to think she’s seen the light and everything is great again. Don’t be fooled, the love bombing will be gone within a week and the devaluing will start again. Don’t let yourself get hooked by her cycle of love bombing and devaluing. It’s psychological abuse and all a con. Don’t give her a second chance. She can begone.

    • @toffeebear7133
      @toffeebear7133 4 роки тому +23

      so spot on

    • @renatocorreaarrieche
      @renatocorreaarrieche 4 роки тому +10

      I had a sick relationship like that before. But what she doesn't accunt for is that my love bomb was bigger than hers

    • @AfroV
      @AfroV 4 роки тому +27

      @@renatocorreaarrieche your love bomb bigger than hers.... U were in Thailand weren't you?

    • @MrTimjm009
      @MrTimjm009 4 роки тому +31

      You could just player at her own game till you get bored then get rid of her. So when she starts going off you , you say its over , then when she starts paying you attention .. oK .. till she stops again . Rinse and repeat till she either says she wont come back or you dont go back . That will teach the Conniving little minx she isnt as clever as she thinks .

    • @renatocorreaarrieche
      @renatocorreaarrieche 4 роки тому +3

      @@AfroV 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @modousamba2272
    @modousamba2272 5 років тому +379

    I will choose my mom anydayday, shes the only one who will love me no matter which condition i am in.

    • @Pippie5555
      @Pippie5555 5 років тому +24

      True. Agree.

    • @christophertsung4795
      @christophertsung4795 5 років тому +11

      But do you have a spouse though

    • @saekurosawa8596
      @saekurosawa8596 5 років тому +7

      How I grow up.. is when you marry .. you marry into your husband's family. So you are apart your spouse's family.

    • @RedGunBullets
      @RedGunBullets 5 років тому +1

      lucky you

    • @irtzashahanpk
      @irtzashahanpk 5 років тому +39

      Asians are heartless because they care for their parents and children.
      I'm a Pakistani, And I put my parents first not because I'm heartless but because I'm not as heartless as a westerner to throw my parents in an old age home. My parents didn't throw me out of there home when i was 18 they supported me paid for my college not because they are heartless and investing in retirement plan but because they loved me unlike heartless westerners. My parents and most parents don't need any retirement money from government because they save and invest in real estate and other things to easily retire and live on that income if anything they leave huge fortunes for children to inherit they don't pay for children's education for financial assistance after retirement they do it because they love them and don't want to send them away they love and care for there children so that in old age children can love and care for them when they are old and not leave them up in the hands of nurses of hospitals and old age homes just like they didn't send me to day care when i was little they raised me by themselves there is love and bonding unlike heartless westerners who spend 100% of their time making money and their children are being taken care of by day care and their parents are taken care of by old age homes we have families here cause we are not heartless like you.

  • @kajzersoze8051
    @kajzersoze8051 3 роки тому +30

    Not just Asians. I'm Polish.... Family first and I always wanted a Polish wife. Still Married to one after 22 years. (best years of my life) . Dated other races including Asian...... None of them had family values like my wife. Keep up the good work, love all your videos 👍

  • @goforgold7082
    @goforgold7082 4 роки тому +302

    I only met one woman who was selfless, hard working, geniune, honest, giving........my mother

    • @freddiejackson6958
      @freddiejackson6958 4 роки тому +11

      You’re most likely wrong about her

    • @goforgold7082
      @goforgold7082 4 роки тому +9

      @@freddiejackson6958 I have a list of at least 30 people who would say the same of her

    • @alexharrington6459
      @alexharrington6459 4 роки тому +26

      The mistake most men make is in assuming their partner will be as loving and selfless as his mother. Many men often look for the same qualities but are ultimately sadly disappointed.

    • @goforgold7082
      @goforgold7082 4 роки тому +8

      @@freddiejackson6958 who stole your sugar? Because you sound a little bitter

    • @freddiejackson6958
      @freddiejackson6958 4 роки тому +6

      Go for Gold If anyone sounds bitter it’s you, all women reject you, only woman to ever love you was your mother. LOL

  • @mobidicks8659
    @mobidicks8659 5 років тому +162

    After having saved your wife, she meets a nice man and divorces you. The idea is that you only have one mother but easily many wives.

    • @olivewoodfactorybethlehem6131
      @olivewoodfactorybethlehem6131 5 років тому +3

      the correct answer well done

    • @alexandergordon1102
      @alexandergordon1102 4 роки тому +4

      Better short romance than years of abuse.

    • @slopedarmor
      @slopedarmor 4 роки тому +14

      How about this; you don't owe your mother or family anything just for being family. Family can be assholes as well. And I wouldn't want to live with assholes. So if I thought my parents were assholes, I would say: goodbye parents, until never! You must spend your life with the people you like. Family or not doesnt matter.

    • @abhisheknanda9956
      @abhisheknanda9956 4 роки тому +3

      @@slopedarmor well that the different between western values and eastern values( far east, south east,south and middle east)

    • @Scientists_dont_lie
      @Scientists_dont_lie 4 роки тому +9

      @Please Refer To Other Acount A wife IS YOUR FAMILY!! What are you talking about?
      Remember till death do you part?
      All Bible believers understand you leave mother and father to cleave to your wife.
      CHINA scares the shit out of me man. Horrible driving and deceptive women who are culturally trained to wipe you out for there family despite the fact you vowed to be with you till death parts you.

  • @CaffeAddict
    @CaffeAddict 5 років тому +249

    If you marry an Asian woman, you marry her whole family and will be expected to serve them. Don't make that mistake.

    • @Loki-sk7bi
      @Loki-sk7bi 5 років тому +21

      Kb Calib one hundred percent true! Not just her whole family, her social circle sometimes too.

    • @ND001X
      @ND001X 5 років тому +19

      Kb Calib What do they offer in return???! Not a fucking thing! Pump and dump. Get what you need and get the FUCK out!

    • @fun18222
      @fun18222 5 років тому

      Guys u are absolutely right!!!

    • @arwahsapi
      @arwahsapi 5 років тому +8

      Same is true if you're a woman wants to marry a chinese guy

    • @reyrosal4853
      @reyrosal4853 5 років тому

      yes I agree

  • @pkpk5307
    @pkpk5307 Рік тому +10

    Most of them are.
    Many Chinese have a tough childhood and very strict parents that makes their little souls numb to the world, and develop their own self-world to stay away from their harsh reality to sooth their pain in what develops narcissistic traits. Narcissism is either inherited or aqurired from trauma, and most likely their parents have it. Sons and daughters are usually extensions of their parents where fits the idea of extreme Filial piety which is a Narcissistic trait.
    I lived in China for 5 years, where I met an Indonesian Chinese exgf who was heartless and ruthless. Love moves very fast. Manipulation and mind games are common. Love bombing and ruthless discard is super common. Cheating and gaslighting. Their love is not stable, is either super hot or extremely cold.

    • @softpawsasmr
      @softpawsasmr 2 місяці тому

      I'm trying to heal from the ruthless narcissistic abuse ...I need help. I hope I can recover from this.

  • @RoadsidePicnic
    @RoadsidePicnic 6 років тому +145

    The family stuff is legit. I dated a Chinese girl whose family told her to drop me and she did it without hesitation. It was bizarre

    • @Alias1983
      @Alias1983 6 років тому +9

      I remember knowing one girl. She was nice. We went walking around the city. A bus honked it's horn at me and because of an ear infection I already had the noise pierced too sharply through my ear. I gave the middle finger. The family found out and she was forbidden to see me ever again. I tried explaining I had an ear infection and reacting the way I did isn't something I normally would have done. I was told later by another chinese that if I was a chinese person kyself, explaining this would normally get me the benefit of the doubt. But because I am a local immigrant I cannot be forgiven. (I never use the word foreigner or laowai to describe us who live in china).

    • @ThePiscovodka
      @ThePiscovodka 6 років тому +7

      That sucks man ,that didnt happend for me,my wife is chinese and the mother didnt like foreigner
      She told her to break up with me but she didnt .
      And now when the parent inlaw visit us in belguim they call me more then my wife phone
      I find it wierd first they dont like me and now they do(maybe)
      Not all chinese women are like that

    • @hendrikdependrik1891
      @hendrikdependrik1891 6 років тому +1

      Local immigrant, first generation immigrant, locally settled foreigner, all the same thing.

    • @deepblue3682
      @deepblue3682 6 років тому +5

      ThePiscovodka ,they found you are wealthy and want your money now..))..

    • @doug2279
      @doug2279 6 років тому +3

      so what i am uk with neopolitan mum and i did the same thing. When my mother calls me shouting every day and moaning and crying for a year eventually i dropped this great girl to please my mother and she is now doing this to my brother for her reasons such as that you annoty marry a girl with divorced parents or something. You can say its wierd but listening to northern europeans about what a family should or shouldn't do is like listening to a footballer talk about physics. They have very weak family bonds and often the mums will throw their kids out at 16. they hardly even know their extended family whom they usually hate or care less about. They hardly ever help their family and rarely even bother with them.

  • @jimmyhu7606
    @jimmyhu7606 6 років тому +61

    You are so correct. I went through this had to marry a woman I really had no interest in. Ended up divorcing after only three years of marriage. This is absolutely true so be very aware before you get hitched.

  • @davidlim4602
    @davidlim4602 6 років тому +122

    I fully agreed with you on this one even I am a Chinese and married a Chinese wife. Bottom line is we men are supposed to be the bread winner, bring in the income, raise the kids and family, and once we are not capable of doing that for whatever reasons, we are lesser of man, and may even be kicked out of the family because we are simply useless and little value to them. This is the reality many Chinese men will face once they hit over their 50's. Forget about love, these days its the money that counts and manhood is being judged by how much you can bring in. Sad but the truth.

    • @serpentza
      @serpentza  6 років тому +13

      加油 I understand you fully

    • @rronaldreagan
      @rronaldreagan 6 років тому +12

      David Lim so what perks or advantages do you get before 50 to comoensste that emasculation you will suffer after 50?
      .
      Or do you guys have such a low selfesteem and selfworth you are content with being slavehorses all your life?

    • @davidlim4602
      @davidlim4602 6 років тому +9

      In the past, Chinese men are respected, even when they are married, to have as many wife they can afford, until some stupid laws dictates only one. These days, men rich enough just goes on banging overseas trips or keep limited time period mistress. This is the only fucking consolidation, nothing to do with low esteem or whatever rubbish you implying. Or they just stay single and bang as many women.

    • @wsmcke
      @wsmcke 6 років тому +6

      So are you saying people like Trump (known liar; cheater, a thief, boorish, unfaithful, etc...) would be considered more of a man than a normal (rest of the world, other than India and China) man/woman (who doesn't lie, doesn't cheat, who is honorable, doesn't steal, etc)and, Chinese men or women would prefer to marry a Trump over a Jimmy Carter?

    • @wsmcke
      @wsmcke 6 років тому +1

      Not worth my time.

  • @SomeMan001
    @SomeMan001 Рік тому +4

    Your wife could one day leave you and you become a stranger to her, but mother always remains mother.

  • @cartwright8920
    @cartwright8920 4 роки тому +196

    @11:48 "Chinese people seem very heartless because they are"
    There's some brutal honesty for ya.

    • @denisesimone552
      @denisesimone552 4 роки тому +5

      I'm not. I swear to god.

    • @nuccababy1814
      @nuccababy1814 4 роки тому

      Denise Simone 😂

    • @bmw803
      @bmw803 4 роки тому +7

      This is what happens when COmmunists stick their nose in shit that dont concern them, such as peoples lives.

    • @MishaFlower
      @MishaFlower 4 роки тому +5

      @@bmw803 In georgia, Smiling is tabo because of years of communist propganda telling them that smilng means capitalist spy.

    • @bmw803
      @bmw803 4 роки тому +1

      @@MishaFlower Some people really have brains. To be able to manipulate the masses, you have to be smart.

  • @tomjjackson21
    @tomjjackson21 3 роки тому +29

    Whoa, was that his wife?! She's awfully pretty.
    I have a friend that was dating a Chinese woman. They were engaged and when she told her family, they demanded she return home and be with a Chinese man. She literally ends up moving back to China; he followed, married the man her family had arranged, and never spoke to him again. He's currently living in China, and teaching English. Its really a tragic story and he's genuinely an awesome guy.

    • @kev792
      @kev792 2 роки тому +6

      Jesus dude, that’s brutal. Hope he’s ok and found a new special person at least. Wish him the best.

    • @tomjjackson21
      @tomjjackson21 9 місяців тому +1

      Yeah man idk
      I am now married to a Chinese woman, and I guess have come back for advice, and noticed this comment, lol.

  • @Kikike654
    @Kikike654 4 роки тому +52

    I have to agree with you, 100%. I was so (un)fortunate to meet a Chinese lady at the university, we've been dating for months and she left and went back to China without a single word or a goodbye. I was trying to contact her again for many many times, without any success. And I'm not that type of easy-going guy, I wanted a serious relationship.

    • @Rhbkn-jl2jw
      @Rhbkn-jl2jw Рік тому +1

      😢

    • @hensonlaura
      @hensonlaura Рік тому +3

      Damn. That is cold.

    • @carolinaramirez3686
      @carolinaramirez3686 Рік тому

      Good for you Asian women are just destructive.

    • @johnle231
      @johnle231 7 місяців тому +1

      Wow I’m sorry but that’s is funny…. Not even a word

    • @irenetan1934
      @irenetan1934 2 місяці тому

      U lucky she did not drain u dry Mean spent all your money n left

  • @Scorned405
    @Scorned405 5 місяців тому +6

    I have had two Chinese women in the states I briefly dated. They were both obsessed with money. They were great lovers but only cared for money. A friend of mine was a passport bro. He went to Philippines and bought this girl back too the states. They get married and have a kid. He puts her thru college and when she got outta college she takes the kid and goes back to the Philippines. Foreign women only care about your money.

  • @Ram271989
    @Ram271989 6 років тому +22

    Haven't watched one of your videos for ages! This was really interesting to watch, I love how straight to the point you are. Keep up the great work 😁

    • @serpentza
      @serpentza  6 років тому +2

      Thanks for the watch

  • @pascaltrahan
    @pascaltrahan 6 років тому +33

    Thanks for sharing this with us Winston. From my personal experience, I confirm this is 100% true. The cultural differences regarding family are huge.

    • @bobbruce4135
      @bobbruce4135 6 років тому +1

      I've found this to be true in Philippines too. A little less in your face, but same reasons.

  • @ironscalp2241
    @ironscalp2241 4 роки тому +114

    One of the most candid videos I've seen.
    My Chinese wife of 19 years told me she would divorce me over breakfast, in front of my son, while eating her porridge. She divorced me once before in 2010, but thought better of it two months later. We remarried... Now she's at it again. Only this time we have a child. And she wants a divorce because my business hasn't launched yet. Its shocking... Her family defo comes first even though they treat her badly....She's constantly seeking their approval.
    It's a terrible trait in Chinese women and I know a few other English men who have experienced the exact same treatment.

    • @kaykaty719
      @kaykaty719 4 роки тому +1

      If can they make you bold.

    • @CutieMillion
      @CutieMillion 4 роки тому +6

      boganus699 i imagine things were much more complicated than just this comment

    • @ashylarry4867
      @ashylarry4867 4 роки тому +52

      She divorced you once, and you had a child with her afterwards?! Sorry to say, but big mistake, pal. Never ever take back someone who wants a break, breaks up, or divorces.

    • @serdarkocak1277
      @serdarkocak1277 4 роки тому +6

      Just devorice not worth the headache.Just transfer all you money away beforehand.Just say you bankrupt then she jumps ships real fast.

    • @ErikPT
      @ErikPT 3 роки тому +5

      My current girlfriend is also mistreated by her family thankfully, however, she is able to ignore them as she is her own business owner and manages her livelihood without them even if she wants their approval. She’s over 30+ at this age they are near the brink of giving up on her, a sad fact

  • @francescomurano8038
    @francescomurano8038 Рік тому +30

    As you said, it is a common characteristic of Asian women. I lived six months with a Filipino woman whom I loved deeply. Her conversations always came back to the expenses of supporting her daughter soon to move to the United States and her obligations to her mother.
    She was always talking about another man richer than I am that she was seeing time to time during our dating period, who nevertheless did not show the same attention as I did. She came into my house and I always took care of all the expenses. Although she worked earning more than $4,000 a month twice she came home carrying food for the poor collected at a church.
    I was embarrassed but tried to understand her vision. One night she didn't come back and after a few days she showed up with a moving crew to move in that richer man's house.
    For her it was perfectly acceptable to have dated me for a time, received sweetness, sensuality, a place to live for free, and afterwards to return quietly to where he could receive more.
    No judgement involved. They have a VERY different morality and cultural values.
    Your video is worth much more than a series of psychotherapy sessions

    • @madhuridas4745
      @madhuridas4745 Рік тому +2

      I am a British Indian lady living born in England, please do not think that all Asian women behave like this. Its because of social media we see such stories. But, there are loads of really decent, intelligent, hard working and honest ladies out there as well. People are people. Plz don't stereotype

    • @IaintTheHerb
      @IaintTheHerb Рік тому +3

      You get more of what you tolerate, and less of what you don't. You tolerated WAY too much!

    • @IaintTheHerb
      @IaintTheHerb Рік тому +7

      ​@@madhuridas4745you're not who we think of when we think of "Asian" women. 🤷‍♂️

    • @menglin4544
      @menglin4544 Рік тому +2

      @@IaintTheHerb when they say Asian, It only mean southeast and asian woman or oriental here in america. Indian people are not really considered "asian" here

    • @user-wr9lh4ly1n
      @user-wr9lh4ly1n 11 місяців тому +1

      you mean not Asian women but Filipino women. Sorry to say but from my experience and what I hear from my friends, Filipinos seem to be that way with money. They try to find guys with money and have them send money to their family, I hear this like all the time, and it's Filipinos particularly

  • @NickDoraRaw
    @NickDoraRaw 4 роки тому +191

    My ex was chinese and expected me to lend her parents money and pay for their house supplies and things. As well and financially take care of her. Needless to say it didnt last

    • @annaalcyone6469
      @annaalcyone6469 4 роки тому +9

      Haha typical 😂😂

    • @renatocorreaarrieche
      @renatocorreaarrieche 4 роки тому +2

      Her female cat was good enough?

    • @annaalcyone6469
      @annaalcyone6469 4 роки тому +4

      Renato Corrêa Arrieche what do you mean?

    • @renatocorreaarrieche
      @renatocorreaarrieche 4 роки тому +7

      @@annaalcyone6469 sometimes, love and passion may blind us until we realize we are in a bad relationship

    • @NickDoraRaw
      @NickDoraRaw 4 роки тому +6

      @@renatocorreaarrieche unfortunately it was really good

  • @Trogbok
    @Trogbok 6 років тому +104

    I can say what winston said is true. My wife's family hates that she married a foreigner. But once they found out I own a company and that we will visit every two years they tolerate me. Still not welcome in their homes but I am welcome to pay for the meals at the restaurants

    • @briantezo9232
      @briantezo9232 6 років тому +44

      Don't visit don't pay. Easy

    • @santisanti8386
      @santisanti8386 6 років тому +6

      Trogbok So you don't have to visit them, good for you.

    • @danniro8888
      @danniro8888 6 років тому +10

      Don't pay for their meals, don't even visit them

    • @Trogbok
      @Trogbok 6 років тому +11

      Have to visit them, and have to treat them to meals or face divorce.

    • @cloudbuster77
      @cloudbuster77 6 років тому +6

      money grubbers

  • @Voidstroyer
    @Voidstroyer 5 років тому +229

    Knowing that neither my mother nor my Chinese girlfriend can swim, the real question to ask is: Why the hell would I bring both my mother and my girlfriend to a place, with deep enough water where they could potentially drown, AT THE SAME TIME????

    • @oneracing2146
      @oneracing2146 5 років тому +4

      this is what i was gonna write down and i saw your comment. this is totally a stupid question first of all. why they will fell down in the water at the same time? looks like only because of the test they will push them and ask me for the answer? rubbish But even if someone ask me this silly question, my answer would be: they both can swim. so i dont need to think about it

    • @Voidstroyer
      @Voidstroyer 5 років тому +9

      Well a problem with this question is that if you take it literally, it is stupid. If you look behind the real meaning of it, it is just about who you value more, your mother or your wife. There is more than 1 correct answer to this question depending on the situation. What is your relationship with your wife like? (Good or going downhill??) What is your relationship with your mother like? (Good or bad?? Some people have a bad connection with their parents). Do you and your wife have children?? (Would you be willing to let your kids grow up without a mother??) How old is your mother?? Etc etc etc. So many different scenarios where the choice on who to save is quite clear, although never easy.

    • @blame7121
      @blame7121 5 років тому +4

      @@oneracing2146 This is what you get when a dumbass tries to be a smartass.
      It doesn't have to be "drowning".
      It could be a house fire where you can save only one.
      It could be that they are poisoned and you're given enough antidote for only one of them.
      It could be that you went mountain climbing and they both slip and you can only save one.
      The question is "who you would save", not "would both of them be drowning".

    • @goldpawluciano3786
      @goldpawluciano3786 5 років тому +1

      riiiggghht!! LOL I was thinking the same thing

    • @oneracing2146
      @oneracing2146 5 років тому +2

      @grimmrok so you thought i was being a dumbass cuz i dont know the meaning of the question? or cuz i was only talking about the water? and drowning? cuz i also said that they both can swim? so that made you think that i was trying to be a smartass enough to write such a long comment? even if i dont understand the meaning of the question, still i give a shit about it. i dont know if you are a coward enough to go to save only one person but i will be a man and i will try to save both of them. and nothing is impossible as i believe. so whoever asks you this stupid question that who you love more? maybe you are gonna answer your mom or wife i dont give a shit about that. after all that you only got balls to save only one of them? i love both of them actually. hard for me to answer that i will only go for my wife or mom. it doesnt matter wherever they are. in the water, the fire house or in a dustbin. because of you love your wife more so you let your mom die in front of you? this is what you wanted me to understand?

  • @bendover4668
    @bendover4668 3 роки тому +13

    As European it’s the same here. Family is more important than partners.

    • @sabrina1380m
      @sabrina1380m 3 роки тому +7

      Yes it's the case for southern and Eastern Europe
      Western and northern Europeans don't have the same family dynamics

    • @balloe3466
      @balloe3466 2 роки тому +5

      Not the same in the whole of Europe. I would put my spouse above the rest of my family.

    • @user-br9ne3gm9x
      @user-br9ne3gm9x 4 місяці тому

      Not at all.

    • @kicunya12
      @kicunya12 Місяць тому

      Not the same in the slightest. In Europe, it's generally:
      1. Kids
      2. Spouse
      3. Parents
      It's also nowhere near that strict as in China

    • @bendover4668
      @bendover4668 Місяць тому

      @@kicunya12 you’re talking about Western Europe. In Eastern Europe family is above spouse.

  • @powertuber3.047
    @powertuber3.047 5 років тому +283

    I was married and now divorced from a Chinese woman, this video spot on correct. They are very practical, cold and heartless.

    • @tulparkultigintengrikut8440
      @tulparkultigintengrikut8440 5 років тому +28

      @@dogie1070 Yellow fever? lol.

    • @Sinekyre14
      @Sinekyre14 5 років тому +37

      White people need experience with other races to realize how good they friggin are. Sad. So brainwashed they think the other races are as pure and good as them, on average. They're not..

    • @adokapo
      @adokapo 5 років тому +6

      Patricia Sorensen What is wrong with you?

    • @harrisonchan2992
      @harrisonchan2992 5 років тому +1

      @Steven Lee wait but you are asian

    • @chelseacee7056
      @chelseacee7056 5 років тому +1

      The Forms what?

  • @perttiheinikko3780
    @perttiheinikko3780 6 років тому +211

    You're an honest smart guy and watching your stuff on UA-cam is a pleasure.

    • @aqwandrew6330
      @aqwandrew6330 6 років тому +3

      literally , every country in asia thinks family first than any relationship (wife , etc) , we have a strong culture to respect our parent the most ! hi from indonesia :)

    • @leviathandiabolo6296
      @leviathandiabolo6296 5 років тому

      @Will Pack Couldn't agree more!

  • @songgao126
    @songgao126 6 років тому +19

    This guy is really telling the truth about China and Chinese people. He is brave and honest. good job! need more people in China like him.

  • @paladinkraus
    @paladinkraus 2 місяці тому +6

    So basically your wife settled for you because she couldn't get anybody in her own culture due to her stigma. It's not necessarily that she was being progressive in dating outside of her race for the sake of it, it was kind of as if she had no choice

  • @zephirius
    @zephirius 3 роки тому +270

    This idea to put our parents in an retirement home with strangers instead of taking care of them is heartless too. In everything there has to be a balance

    • @LovePH926
      @LovePH926 3 роки тому +25

      True.

    • @trentweston8306
      @trentweston8306 2 роки тому +10

      That's a damn good thinking point.

    • @dheerajsah
      @dheerajsah 2 роки тому +3

      Spot on

    • @Ghryst
      @Ghryst 2 роки тому +31

      spending thousands on a retirement home that can take care of them better than i ever could, is heartless?
      remind me not to send them on a luxury holiday

    • @nyvlem3184
      @nyvlem3184 2 роки тому +8

      @@Ghryst compares washing your parents off your hands to sending them "on a luxury holiday", dumbass comment and shit take

  • @lylee8579
    @lylee8579 5 років тому +168

    I laugh throughout your talk. You are very insightful with lots of things. I am a 56 year old Chinese woman from Taiwan, immigrated to the US at 16. Yes, a lot of things you said regarding the traditional Chinese value are true. Those thoughts are deeply ingrained in the society structure and have been the norm for thousands of years, just as the Westerners have the exact opposite way of being. The typical norm for most of Westerners are me, me, me due to the culture empowers individualism. However, I will never call myself a heartless woman just because I was born a Chinese and my parents' outdated belief system happens to be not in sync with mine. My husband is a highly educated American, we have been married for 22 years. He would never marry an American woman because he feels that too many American women are lack of the family value that he seeks and heartless. Yikes, right! LOL! Throughout the years I come to understand that the biggest difference between the East and the West is the big "I" vs the little "i". Eastern society has been known throughout the history to be a very male centric society. Women have very little legal rights in many things until the last 20 years or so. Under that kind of suppression, often the only thing women have in control is their children. Most of Asian women are consistently under survival mode, which made us fighters to protect the only thing that we feel that is truly ours, our children. Just as the chopstick story, you can easily break one chopstick, but it is hard to break lots of chopsticks tied up together. This is why the Chinese form the big "I"/ the "we" becomes the "I" as the identity and "Xiao" becomes a way of being for one to be controlled by. There are countless stories of Chinese men have 2nd, or 3rd wives and there is nothing the 1st wife can do about it. If the 1st wife divorce her husband, she loses EVERYTHING including their own children. The reputation in society and dignity in front of her parents are nothing in this case, we are talking about the very basic survival issue here. Be more sympathetic with the culture difference and gender equality will bring much more peace to all. Much compassion to those Chinese women who are still stuck in a set up that is hard for them to break free. Trust me, NO ONE IS HEARTLESS regardless the culture and gender. Just different sets of circumstances, different norms and different eras. Peace!

    • @Iheartdgd
      @Iheartdgd 5 років тому +6

      Thanks for sharing, well said.

    • @chrismontreuil2206
      @chrismontreuil2206 5 років тому +3

      L Y Lee very good writting. I will keep my me me attitude in check. I always appreciate the other persons view point. Thank you.

    • @mattheugaudin4976
      @mattheugaudin4976 5 років тому +7

      I take exception to saying "no one is heartless" when the world is filled with greed and hate. There are all kinds of people and its a sad fact that some see others dying as entertainment and others couldn't care less. Though they may not be to blame, we all must teach our children kindness. I believe it is our only saving grace.

    • @mattheugaudin4976
      @mattheugaudin4976 5 років тому +5

      Kepano 808HI there’s no point in arguing with a racist, you’ve made up your mind years ago.

    • @vernonjenkins8
      @vernonjenkins8 5 років тому

      Well said.

  • @C.viscione
    @C.viscione 5 років тому +32

    I think this behaviour is also true for the rest of East Asia, not just the Chinese. Families ALWAYS come first. They know you and took care of you since you were young.

    • @inismei9077
      @inismei9077 5 років тому +1

      izwana ismail It's the same amongst South Asians, most especially Muslims.

    • @WG-xi1ux
      @WG-xi1ux 5 років тому

      Tony Chalmers You are great and your approach is right except that "insult" is weird in the Asian's eye, why not take it as a compliment to your great job done to the family ? BTW, this kind of "culture" is derived from the governments' unwillingness to give a better social benefits as those given by the western governments to their nationals. The burden naturally falls on the individual.

    • @wangyihong5029
      @wangyihong5029 5 років тому

      Yes ,I agree with you

    • @Rafaelrgm
      @Rafaelrgm 5 років тому

      Families should come first.
      But there is a difference between that dishonesty and the rare extreme cases of pratically slavery that were mentioned in this video.
      You should take care of your parents, but not at the cost of your own life. After you are an adult, people should make their own decisions.
      Edit: but yeah, I think the right answer is to save your mom.

  • @mmww3096
    @mmww3096 Рік тому +11

    I'm not the Chinese woman what you describe, but unfortunately I'm married to a grumpy and selfish Australian man. So, there are good people and bad people everywhere, don't generalize

  • @q_q123
    @q_q123 5 років тому +122

    I'm Chinese and I find what you say to be correct

  • @wibblywotsits
    @wibblywotsits 6 років тому +14

    First, I'd like to say: I stumbled across your channel after watching some of your earlier videos - chinese scams, building maintenance, different cultural issues, etc... and I really appreciate the eye-opening peek into chinese culture. I worked with a bunch of chinese people who'd come over to America in the late 90's, early 2000's, and I had one (guy) friend who I'd eat lunch with every day and he'd ask me all kinds of questions about stuff like this. Questions I'd often just be like : Uh. wtf? Why would you even ask that? Nice guy too.. but the cultural differences are (literally) worlds apart. And your videos go a long way to explaining them. Excellently done Winston.

  • @coffeeandcigeratte
    @coffeeandcigeratte 5 років тому +117

    When you marry a Chinese woman, you’re marrying the whole village.
    Majority are extremely pragmatic.
    P/s: Well there’s different types of Chinese women. You get the educated and westernize Chinese women - they are filial and at the same time they go for what they desire without making their parents feel deserted.
    Also, the modern chinese female will not go for traditional thinking chinese male because they don’t want a mommyboy.
    Personally I prefer eastern value than western value because they are filial.

    • @anonymaus8191
      @anonymaus8191 5 років тому +1

      This is true.

    • @andiman45
      @andiman45 5 років тому

      NO NO ...you are mixed up with STD's in USA

    • @OhWowInteresting
      @OhWowInteresting 5 років тому +2

      No , you're marrying the whole country

    • @sodori
      @sodori 5 років тому +2

      Whole country? Pfft, no. You marrying the whole continent!

    • @Zatoitchy
      @Zatoitchy 5 років тому +1

      Martial Chen - You’re marrying into FAMILY. The goal of every Chinese family is to become a “great” family, an “empire”, that lasts forever. Some of the most common family names mean exactly that.

  • @EricDPeterson56
    @EricDPeterson56 3 роки тому +20

    Lawyers in China? What do you need lawyers for in a country with no rule of law?

  • @kalfaxplays7899
    @kalfaxplays7899 6 років тому +44

    I'm just gonna stay single... less hassle.

    • @KishorTwist
      @KishorTwist 6 років тому +9

      It costs less than a divorce. _Much_ less.

    • @Mickr4
      @Mickr4 6 років тому +5

      Amen to that.

  • @raylee6540
    @raylee6540 5 років тому +309

    i am Chinese and born in Shanghai, I swear what you say is 100% absloutely right!

    • @skidfrog
      @skidfrog 5 років тому +12

      its interesting......I married a Chinese woman ( from India ) but my first instinct mother vs wife was to save MY mother ( I'm white Canadian )......AND...I'm adopted.....but my mother gave her entire life to help me and she's old and weak now.......for me it was simply a matter of she needs help more now and I presume my wife would have to swim or save herself because she's young and strong.

    • @NobodySpecial512
      @NobodySpecial512 5 років тому +19

      @@skidfrog In Western culture, the family you make is more important than the one you are born into.

    • @alwisalfredwencencilas85
      @alwisalfredwencencilas85 5 років тому +3

      Not fully

    • @sanathabbas3659
      @sanathabbas3659 5 років тому +8

      Well, it's not 100%. Since he had't understood Chinese culture, how can you say he is absolutely right? In my view, the question of "GF or MUM" is definitely shit result comes from Chinese "reform and opening". I would like to say if it is 300 years ago, nobody would ask such a silly question. Cuz EVERYBODY IS GONNA SAVE HIS MUM first, no doubt! In our culture, if someone helps you, you should return. And parents are the ones who help you most in your life. There is nothing wrong for us to be filial. Also, I am not going to say western culture is bad. But in some cases, we also think you are heartless. I got in touch with lots of people from different backgrounds&cultures&countries. You are sometimes really make me feel uncomfortable, as this youTuber said. However, I never think you are wrong. I mean, this is how you trained. THIS IS CULTURE. IF YOU ALL AGREE WITH IT, then that's it. However, I do admit there are lots of parents in China utilize filial piety to improve their shit life. But that's not the fault of culture. That's BECAUSE WE CHINESE ARE FREAKING SICK IN MENTALITY, for now. It's true learn from west enhance some phases. But the fact is we tend to duplicate your whole culture to cover our own. People always think west stands for cool. That's the problem. Because it is just out of their capacity to have thoughts. And people even start losing kindness somehow. I call this "Debt of mentality"----The cost China developed with an abnormal speed but never take a sip and review who we are.

    • @Fuzz1994tps
      @Fuzz1994tps 5 років тому +3

      @@skidfrog My first instinct would be to make sure they have life vests before they get on the boat if I know they cannot swim.

  • @globalbossevent7284
    @globalbossevent7284 5 років тому +311

    I was thinking I'd save my mom. Mothers cant be replaced, wife's always can be.

    • @matthewstephens6502
      @matthewstephens6502 5 років тому +7

      Unless she's also your baby momma

    • @LilJbm1
      @LilJbm1 5 років тому +30

      Yes, but what if you've had children mate? You'd be depriving your own children of their own mother which by your own words cannot be replaced. You had your mother growing up, you had your chance to live with her and be raised into an adult who married. Your son/daughter deserves to have both parents too don't you think?
      I think once you've had kids you can't really "replace" your wife. Even then though, this is one of the problems I have with the modern culture surrounding marriage, you are supposed to be committed to your wife. You aren't supposed to just "swap" wives on the fly, or husbands for that matter (because the problem comes from women far more than men to be fair), marriage is supposed to be a sacred and lifetime contract and commitment. But eh, I digress.

    • @abdulrahmandahir5219
      @abdulrahmandahir5219 5 років тому +1

      Very true,,than you

    • @joshdeighton8636
      @joshdeighton8636 5 років тому

      Unless your from Alabama

    • @jamieingels1190
      @jamieingels1190 5 років тому +18

      No one can be replaced, but whatever.

  • @take.action2023
    @take.action2023 11 місяців тому +5

    In my country, we support our parents with love and gratitude.

  • @edwhlam
    @edwhlam 4 роки тому +40

    If your romantic partner asks you that question, regardless of ethnicity, it's time to leave. It shows an insecure or narcissistic personality.

    • @Ozonencb
      @Ozonencb 3 роки тому +2

      what question

    • @thebibleisinfallible2336
      @thebibleisinfallible2336 3 роки тому +1

      @@Ozonencb would you save your wife or mother if the fell at the same time in the river ?

    • @doma1686
      @doma1686 2 роки тому +1

      @@thebibleisinfallible2336 I'll leave them both lol

    • @prashantpatel170
      @prashantpatel170 2 роки тому

      @@doma1686 same i can't swim .

  • @bessyisyourbestieforever3164
    @bessyisyourbestieforever3164 5 років тому +258

    As a mother if my son had to answer such a silly question I would be proud of him if he chose his wife first. Especially if they had my grandchildren. I know I did my job right if he chose his wife first. At that point I would have lived my life, but my grandchildren will need both parents in their lives.

    • @peiyamada1653
      @peiyamada1653 5 років тому +22

      I love you for that, great mom.

    • @2degucitas
      @2degucitas 5 років тому +5

      Spoken like a western woman. I know hubby would save his mommy

    • @grumpinez3472
      @grumpinez3472 5 років тому +8

      this kinds of problem wont be too difficult to solve in Asia because most mothers there will sacrifice everything for the happiness of their own children. i'm sure the son will choose his mother because he was taught "respect, gratitude, and love" since childhood, but the mother will understand and would not want the son to have that much burden in those dire situations.

    • @teemodai8903
      @teemodai8903 5 років тому +2

      Great mom

    • @yasminanoir
      @yasminanoir 5 років тому +1

      I so agree with you. I just see so much wisdom in your words. That type of thinking is the way I think as well.

  • @Akronstudent
    @Akronstudent 6 років тому +31

    In Korea my gf asked me if I'd save her or our child. Saving the child is the wrong answer.... and she got extremely mad at me. I couldn't cope with that bullshit anymore and I found another gf

    • @wisdomleader85
      @wisdomleader85 6 років тому +7

      Why would your ex gf even want a child if she wouldn't put the child first?

    • @mariobroseins
      @mariobroseins 5 років тому +3

      crazy even to ask questions like that. Also would be crazy a marry a girl like thinking if the kid dies we can make another one so who cares and save me. sounds like a bad joke but apparently they are serious about it.

    • @wingsnad
      @wingsnad 4 роки тому +1

      Depends on the individual, I will put my wife first before my kids. I made a vow, I stay true to it. She is always no. 1.

    • @42ouncesofPAIN
      @42ouncesofPAIN 4 роки тому +2

      GOOD JOB! Western culture is inherently superior to Eastern Culture and we need to start being proud of that fact. Children always come first before parents. The reason you would save your wife before your mother is because you aren't going to make babies with your mother, and the reason you are going to save your baby not your wife is because your baby's life is more important than your wife's and your wife's life is more important than your own. Western Culture.

    • @jimbeam7315
      @jimbeam7315 4 роки тому +1

      @@mariobroseins you marry for one another or for the kid?

  • @WESTBELLFORT713
    @WESTBELLFORT713 Рік тому +7

    I just married a Chinese woman she doesn’t listen to me about my ptsd symptoms she says I’m faking my diagnosis

    • @annl.5512
      @annl.5512 Місяць тому +1

      why did you marry her?

    • @troysmith5749
      @troysmith5749 Місяць тому

      @@annl.5512 She was very loving and thoughtful when they first met is my guess and then after she conned him to get married she stopped caring.
      Women don't want to hear a man complain and they definitely do not care about your problems, it's what you can do for them and what you can give them is all that matters.

    • @galacticangel5262
      @galacticangel5262 Місяць тому +1

      Divorce her before you have kids.

    • @WESTBELLFORT713
      @WESTBELLFORT713 Місяць тому

      @@galacticangel5262 why you say this . We don’t have kids I havnt seen her in a year .

  • @davidpayton8336
    @davidpayton8336 6 років тому +130

    I can relate to this, my first date with my wife, she was 36 & I was 38, when I dropped her off that night at 11pm the lights were on at her little house that she was renting & that meant her mother was waiting up for her & my wife got out of the car & threw up because she knew she was going to catch hell for being out so late. And yes, I made the mistake of asking for a second date & eventually married her & yes, her mother lives with us & life is hell.

    • @ninjamaster3453
      @ninjamaster3453 6 років тому +4

      David Payton chinese family?

    • @PunditKING
      @PunditKING 6 років тому +14

      hahahahah great story!

    • @Radeo
      @Radeo 6 років тому +22

      The things people do to themselves.

    • @kuiyeondae
      @kuiyeondae 6 років тому +29

      that's okay brother.....that's why there's the youtube comments section. where you can vent your anger and frustration, and express your life regrets

    • @davidpayton8336
      @davidpayton8336 6 років тому +2

      No, white okie ppl. :-(

  • @StarWarsNerd
    @StarWarsNerd 5 років тому +302

    I would save my mother because you can always find another girlfriend but you'll only ever have one mother.

    • @thetayterminator1436
      @thetayterminator1436 5 років тому +25

      So I think that if its either the girlfriend or the Mother, I can understand either decision but most likely id choose my Mother.
      if its between Wife or Mother, either way its going to be a horrible day but if your married you took a vow to protect your Wife, however it depends on the relationship you have with your Wife and the relationship you have with your Mother. I have a few friends who would probably jump in and save their Mother with a huge smile on their face lol.
      And if its between my Mother or the Mother of my children, most likely im going to make sure my child will grow up with a mother.

    • @bvegannow1936
      @bvegannow1936 5 років тому +11

      U cant always find another partner unless u have low standards. U shouldnt choose them just cuz they r your mom.

    • @Frisenette
      @Frisenette 5 років тому +4

      B vegan Now why wouldn’t U be able to find a new wife?

    • @bestfly8558
      @bestfly8558 5 років тому

      Agree!

    • @p.r.9982
      @p.r.9982 5 років тому +9

      You must lay down your life for your wife and children. Marriage is originally a commitment where 2 people leave their biological families to become one and serve one another. The husband oversees and protects his new family. Although it has been perverted. Once married your wife becomes FAMILY. It seems people would save their parents over even their own children. That is unbelievable to me.

  • @SouthAmericanGirls
    @SouthAmericanGirls 5 років тому +135

    The only person that I know that I believe loves me unconditionally is my mother. I think she would not hesitate a single second for giving her life for me or for any of my brothers or sisters.

    • @hoseadavit3422
      @hoseadavit3422 4 роки тому +3

      @Mortal Silence
      So what you abandoned them like a heartless monster so what's the point of giving birth?, was your parent really that heartless I mean sure they can be strict and harsh but in the end they love you

    • @em84c
      @em84c 4 роки тому +2

      I wish I had mother that loved me

    • @m.a.r.e.
      @m.a.r.e. 4 роки тому

      @@em84c same 💕

    • @conmanumber1
      @conmanumber1 4 роки тому

      I know. Mothers are just too dedicated regardless of how old we are when they should let us take care of her but she refuses us to. Mine was just like this as she was in hospital but asked my cousin if i was o.k? and she was still worried about my wellbeing even when she was at her retirement home deathbed. (I was 45 at the time and needed none of her to worry). Its a prick of situation when my mother wont accept help from children.

    • @Peace-lr7mt
      @Peace-lr7mt 4 роки тому

      Exactly. My mom was an abusive, hateful monster who hated me and my brother but I'm like most moms and would die for my children (and I would have died for my mother too).

  • @frankgrima
    @frankgrima 2 роки тому +6

    I have been to China on business many times and met many single women who will remain single because of their parents, I stopped dating Chinese women because of that

  • @EmperorSigismund
    @EmperorSigismund 4 роки тому +35

    Next time A Chinese person asks you that question you should answer with another question.
    "Would you save your mother or the mother of your children?" Hopefully no ones head explodes.

    • @Cheepchipsable
      @Cheepchipsable 4 роки тому +1

      Say, I will save more money by not saving my mother.

    • @tubeyou89119
      @tubeyou89119 4 роки тому

      @@Cheepchipsable I am not sure a wife costs less. Haha

    • @superbutter476
      @superbutter476 3 роки тому

      I think you meant to say "would u rather save your mother or your mother's mother?"

  • @mikedelgado5144
    @mikedelgado5144 3 роки тому +13

    Dude you are awesome. This video is 100% accurate. I have worked in China 8 years and had a Chinese gf for 7 years. Meeting hundreds of her friends and family. AND I work for an Asian company with many American men married to Chinese. Over and Over again I see the... "sad situation" they are in. Because of the items you bring up in your video. Thanks for sharing. Hope men watch this before they make a Chinese girl their girlfriend.

  • @WanderwithAwe
    @WanderwithAwe 6 років тому +335

    This is very true when you say that "Children are an Investment", unfortunately for my mother (who is born in China), I was born in the United States, and her way of thinking don't align with mine. Luckily for me, she has come to accept that I view my life as my own, and she can only be apart of it, and not have control of it.

    • @serpentza
      @serpentza  6 років тому +24

      Good for you!

    • @mothutheslow3955
      @mothutheslow3955 6 років тому +13

      I was always feel attracted to Chinese woman but if what Winston is saying is true I am not sure I could handle the Chinese culture.

    • @mothutheslow3955
      @mothutheslow3955 6 років тому +2

      Winston can you tell me. In my town there is university and I've noticed a lot of Chinese people are coming over to UK to study, why is that? Are there no good universities in china?

    • @richardbroner9852
      @richardbroner9852 6 років тому +4

      Put your foot down. Tell your parents that you will be there for them, but don't try to dictate my life. It's not hard at all.

    • @richardbroner9852
      @richardbroner9852 6 років тому +12

      They are coming to learn what we know and going back to China to put us out of business. This is why I do my best to avoid buying Chinese products, i'll pay the extra cost for American quality. Not to mention, their whole idea of China 2025 is not ingenuity, it's simply buying out good quality business and passing them off as their own. Any company that takes the offer is essentially putting a knife to their own throat. I'd rather go bankrupt and blow up my own business before handing it over to...... "communists."

  • @JHall-dl1sb
    @JHall-dl1sb 2 роки тому +5

    “Get fixed or replaced”, you are way too funny with your words. You made my day.

  • @dzddteo4920
    @dzddteo4920 5 років тому +289

    Every culture comes with flaws .... Western culture dump elderly parents in horrible old poeple's home where they are not looked after properly and sometimes horribly abused by carers on minimum wage and where they die in loneniless .

    • @wangyihong5029
      @wangyihong5029 5 років тому +7

      That's so sad

    • @dnguyen787
      @dnguyen787 5 років тому +22

      In US, we have pensions for old people called Social security, so they don't need their children to take care them.

    • @liuhanw8
      @liuhanw8 5 років тому +18

      he forgot to mention most chinese women in china take care of your whole family while you are taking care of hers. He makes chinese women sounds like freeloaders. But the idea is you should take care of each other's family equally. too bad he doesn't have family in china.

    • @yuqing2006
      @yuqing2006 5 років тому +4

      I DISAGREE. I was planning a retirement home for my mum since I was 17. not because I hate them but homes are good to get into and can be a long wait. it is a safe haven for the elderly. My mum wasn't happy when I told her but later when I heard some more modern chinese talking about this my mum warm up to the idea.
      Also this is where you need ro visit and check on your parents when they are in the home. When my dad had cancer I check on him at the hospital to make sure he wasn't abuse. My mum didn't want me to go and when I do she curse me to die along with my father.
      But I still visit my father to check on him.
      Not all elderly homes are bad.

    • @kstang9441
      @kstang9441 5 років тому +12

      Dumping old parents, that is heartless, selfish, Inhuman. Provided parents must love and sincerely care for their children. There are sbusive parents, who do not deserve the love from children.
      I had a good mother, who passed away when I was around 11 years old. My father sold the house, took all the money and deserted us, me and my younger brother.
      I had to work hard, rented a room, supported my brother and myself through very difficult times. Looking back, I am very proud of myself, that though young, I did not go astray.
      Til this day I have not forgotten my mother. I pray every morning for her. I left my father out. I don't hate him, but he is out from my mind.

  • @fordman7479
    @fordman7479 5 років тому +150

    "My mother's obviously lived her life she's had me" wish i had that sort of self esteem lmao!

    • @bethanyudonome4219
      @bethanyudonome4219 5 років тому +2

      Fordman 1991 never been a woman, huh? Lol. Now all she needs is grandchildren.

    • @maggiemasai1506
      @maggiemasai1506 5 років тому +10

      Never heard of saving your wife, and letting your mum die!! This guy is mean. U can get another wife, but not a mother who loves u unconditionally

    • @jonson11122
      @jonson11122 5 років тому +1

      @@maggiemasai1506 When you're grown up, than it is expected from you to become independent. Mother don't need to play role of "motherhood" for you. You can take care for yourself. Officially you don't need mother anymore. You are independent.
      I think that there is a problem of never growing up entirely. Men (I don't know about women) are still emotionally attached to their mothers.
      But that doesn't mean that you don't visit your mother or help her when she needs your help. Independence (physically and emotionally) doesn't negate love.
      And not saving your wife would mean depriving your children from their mother (if you have children). Isn't that mean too?

    • @batissta44
      @batissta44 5 років тому +4

      white people are cold. they invented nursing homes. latinos would never put their mother in one.

    • @danhalo1405
      @danhalo1405 4 роки тому +1

      @@maggiemasai1506 thats why chinse probably think that way you can't replace a mother your biological mother is the only biological mother you ever will have but you can get a new grilfriend.

  • @dhyanesh5968
    @dhyanesh5968 4 роки тому +84

    "China is a very traditional place"
    India: hold my cow's milk

    • @AbsoluteZero6714
      @AbsoluteZero6714 3 роки тому +2

      Tradition is invoked when it suits their agenda. That’s a better way to put it.

    • @1mol831
      @1mol831 3 роки тому +2

      Yep India is Chinese control on steroids in terms of family

    • @stardustlilly03
      @stardustlilly03 2 роки тому

      I'm a mixed Indian girl, and these comments are so true. My mom couldn't stand my father's Indian family being so intrusive into her life. So, she managed to move our household away from a few towns away (she was the family's breadwinner, so she could hold her own). Still, my father did do small, insidious things to me growing up, like making me clean the house or cook before I was allowed to complete my homework. I'm in my 20s now, and my Indian family is starting to pressure me to marry while I want to pursue a master's degree in my career field. I also have a long-term bf that I have recently introduced to my mother's family, and they really like him. I'm scared to death to introduce him to my Indian family as I know they have suitors handpicked for me. I don't want to end this beautiful relationship, but my loyalty will always lay with my family, especially my parents. I know it sounds extreme, but this is how I was raised and how my Indian family conducts itself.

  • @A.D-Cali
    @A.D-Cali 2 роки тому +6

    You shocked me when you said that I would always choose my mother in that situation every time. There’s nothing stronger then a mothers love your wife can leave anytime your mother won’t

  • @mikehueter3982
    @mikehueter3982 6 років тому +36

    OMG, what a headache! As if relationships don't have enough challenges on their own 🙂 Glad for you and Sasha being able to work through this!

  • @GiovanniMontalto
    @GiovanniMontalto 3 роки тому +26

    My past girlfriend was Chinese, she was the love of my life, unfortunately the relationship ended due to major cultural differences. All of what Winston said, i can confirm. be careful guys because a lot of Asian girls will actually hide this side of their culture untill it's too late. Despite the pain of losing the woman I loved with all my heart, looking back I say, I was lucky, better like this then getting a divorce with kids in the middle.

    • @lamentate07
      @lamentate07 Рік тому +6

      They often lack warmth and empathy. That is the problem I have with them, and they have a two dimensional view of relationships in my experience. There is an absence of 'wholeness', so to speak.

    • @foreignerescapestothephi-lj3ls
      @foreignerescapestothephi-lj3ls Рік тому

      You are also a lost and weak loser. Where do you get your life instructions from? Hollywood movies?!

    • @NanatsukiBenio
      @NanatsukiBenio 11 місяців тому +1

      my wife is Japanese and no issues for 14+! years of being together 11 married 14 in total

    • @user-wr9lh4ly1n
      @user-wr9lh4ly1n 11 місяців тому +1

      @@NanatsukiBenio I'm also married to a Japanese girl for 15 yrs. I can say Japanese may be different than what I hear about Chinese girls here.. My parents in law respect me and my wife, and never asked me to support them. Rather, they send our kids and even me Christmas presents and some money to our kids during every New Year's holiday which is a tradition in Japan. What they only ask to my kids is not to spend that money now, but save them for future. I'm sure in every culture there are problems, but my problems with Japan side aren't so different than the west

    • @NanatsukiBenio
      @NanatsukiBenio 11 місяців тому

      @@user-wr9lh4ly1n absolutely agree! same here we've got no kids but living together with my wife's dad and no issues so far... also wife's relatives are also very nice people. always treated me like their REAL relative and never ever called me somewhat 外人 no... they treat me all the ways equally! so Cheers!

  • @n0body839
    @n0body839 6 років тому +34

    U really have balls to say that, nice vid!

  • @johnmimisjourney3940
    @johnmimisjourney3940 2 роки тому +6

    What you described is true for almost 90% of all Asian families. Regarding to choosing the parents or the spouse; in most cases it will be the parents because the reason is that you cannot replaced your parents but you can easily replaced your spouse. To married a foreigner; one will either have to be madly in-love or to the reasons that you described in your video.