The Epic Games Store is a Landfill for Crypto Shovelware

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,2 тис.

  • @StaxKarratGang
    @StaxKarratGang Рік тому +2490

    Wonder how this video is going to age 🤔

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +5798

      I could say the same about your profile picture, which I just right-click saved.

    • @videogamerNattie98
      @videogamerNattie98 Рік тому +2683

      Like fine wine given how the NFT market is going.

    • @scoonie6186
      @scoonie6186 Рік тому +1572

      Have you seen the nft market right now? Almost every single nft now is completely worthless.

    • @Hisnitch
      @Hisnitch Рік тому +1007

      Cope. Seethe. Mald.

    • @Damian-03x3
      @Damian-03x3 Рік тому +934

      Please be a parody account...
      It's weird that nft's are still a thing that exists in 2023.

  • @OldSpaghettifactory89
    @OldSpaghettifactory89 4 місяці тому +258

    Steam banning nft and crypto games may have been a blessing to the devs, if they were on steam everyone could tell from the charts just how dead they are without having to play them

  • @blueleaf1513
    @blueleaf1513 Рік тому +2336

    It took steam years to accumulate a mountain of low effort, copy paste type games and somehow Epic managed to do the same in less than a year, even worse since some of these are full on scams.

    • @Lewtable
      @Lewtable Рік тому +195

      Tbf it didn't take years as much as it took removing quality control. For years there wasn't that much low effort / scammy / shovelware games on Steam because they were fairly strict about what was allowed to be sold on Steam through the Greenlight system. Hell, I remember there being indie games that were big successes like Shovel Knight running their small campaigns trying to get people to acknowledge them and vote for them to get greenlit on Steam. At some point they stopped doing that and it got immediately flooded. There's still some standards as to what is allowed to be sold, but as long as you don't break those standards it is incredibly easy to get your game up on Steam.

    • @kylegonewild
      @kylegonewild Рік тому +291

      @@Lewtable The Greenlight system was not strict at all lol. Part of the reason it was scrapped was how easy it was to manipulate and get dogshit "games" greenlit. They ultimately decided it was better to just make everyone pay the same cut, remove games that violate your Terms of Service, but otherwise rely on buyers and word of mouth to keep you from wasting money on asset flips and obvious scams. There's a sea of trash on Steam but that's no different than the sea of shitware you'd find in the bargain bin at brick and mortar stores for decades.

    • @dojelnotmyrealname4018
      @dojelnotmyrealname4018 Рік тому +80

      Things were way worse in the past. Steam got good at hiding shovelware. They're still on the store but since they're not on the frontpage nobody gives a shit. The greenlight era was horrible in comparison. @@Lewtable

    • @the-handcuffs
      @the-handcuffs Рік тому +10

      Steam has tons of early access games that just get canceled, not longer being developed and then you get nothing back. Epic has refunded my money i spended on early access games on there plattform, without me even taking any actions about that. it just came out of the blue.

    • @MacMashPotato
      @MacMashPotato Рік тому +4

      @@Lewtable or the indie dev could just ya know, pay steam the 100 dollars to have the game listed.

  • @LexiBelleGaming
    @LexiBelleGaming Рік тому +1365

    You know a dev has a high bar for quality when they name themselves "Playable Games"

    • @IdiotamSpielen
      @IdiotamSpielen 9 місяців тому +92

      Playable Games is thqat name that I would give my company in a simulator, but not in the real world...

    • @operator8014
      @operator8014 7 місяців тому +25

      Higher bar than Ubisoft.

    • @oneofthoseyoutubeusers
      @oneofthoseyoutubeusers 7 місяців тому +1

      @@operator8014 'Unplayable Games'

    • @williamdrum9899
      @williamdrum9899 6 місяців тому +4

      Playathreeull

    • @soupcangaming662
      @soupcangaming662 6 місяців тому

      @@operator8014 C-grade games

  • @josemedina1805
    @josemedina1805 Рік тому +8060

    Big respect for Steam and their stance against this stuff.
    At this point, Epic is only known as that game launcher you check once every week to maybe claim free games, if they're even worth claiming, of course. They clearly don't want the average gamer to use their platform.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +998

      The free games lately have been pretty underwhelming / bad so I've stopped using it even for that. Right now it's only for crypto games, and the once every 3 months I play Fortnite

    • @Marvin-mq9rk
      @Marvin-mq9rk Рік тому +243

      You said it perfectly ive never spent a penny on the epic games store I only ever check for free games and even then I still don't check it every week or consistently at all

    • @josemedina1805
      @josemedina1805 Рік тому +77

      ​@@jauwnYeah, either bad games or repeats of good games they've already given away multiple times.

    • @bigweld6792
      @bigweld6792 Рік тому +489

      Steam just has a different type of shovelware, there is so many asset flip hentai puzzle games on steam it's crazy

    • @cupriferouscatalyst3708
      @cupriferouscatalyst3708 Рік тому +68

      I only really know Epic as the Unreal Engine launcher, I keep forgetting they have a tab for games too

  • @SilverDragonJay
    @SilverDragonJay Рік тому +1973

    You can tell that their claims of "it doesn't matter if we don't profit because we got to be a part of this community" are all cope because if that was the case then why did they throw money at this instead of enriching and engaging with their local community?

    • @ZanathKariashi
      @ZanathKariashi Рік тому

      Because Cryptidiots will pay 1000x more for less.

    • @Jhoto
      @Jhoto Рік тому +175

      These people have never touched grass

    • @bigjohnsbreakfastlog5819
      @bigjohnsbreakfastlog5819 Рік тому

      Cryptobros don't want to engage in engage in community, they want to make money and will ditch their "friends" the moment they either A) get rich (very unlikely) or B) are no longer part of the community via their own volition or if they were a victim of a scam.

    • @Zeropointill
      @Zeropointill Рік тому +210

      Community to them means other online basement dwellers that also pitched in cash so they don't feel so bad for being swindled. That's the best they got out of it, the feeling that at least they weren't the only ones scammed and therefore community.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +408

      Yup it’s the same mindset that GameStop or bed bath and beyond bagholders have. As soon as you question the cult it’s FUD and you’re banned. You’re only friends because you’re all bagholding stock or NFTs

  • @rattlesnaik
    @rattlesnaik Рік тому +1413

    This is probably not worth commenting, but the gas station called Pass'n'Gas in the rabbit game is literally stolen from the early days of Fortnite. They can't even come up with their own jokey name for a gas station.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +399

      Lol and the car is from Cars

    • @questionabletopic9652
      @questionabletopic9652 11 місяців тому +222

      even older than that.
      7 days to die has used that for their gas stations.
      and that game predates fortnite@@jauwn

    • @LmaoJohnny227
      @LmaoJohnny227 11 місяців тому +46

      @@questionabletopic9652 Wanted to say that, still can't forget that game.

    • @williamdrum9899
      @williamdrum9899 10 місяців тому +20

      One of the few things I liked about the bunny game... and it's gone

    • @kamikan22
      @kamikan22 9 місяців тому +9

      the shooter moba is literally a copypasta of a shooter moba on epic that released when mobas where a thing

  • @monody
    @monody Рік тому +2130

    Also, Nexus is not just a Lyra flip. It's also a Paragon flip. Those moba assets they used are all from Epic's discontinued moba that they plunked onto their asset store for free.

    • @firefireburnjunk
      @firefireburnjunk Рік тому +88

      I was just thinking that when I saw Nexus come up lol.
      I'm glad to see another cultured individual.

    • @cubezapper
      @cubezapper Рік тому +29

      I thought so, looked really similar to Paragon

    • @atrane365
      @atrane365 Рік тому +41

      At least they put the assets to free use. I kinda enjoyed Paragon when it was up

    • @sandakureva
      @sandakureva Рік тому +40

      Those assets are a godsend... if you intent to use them to learn how they work.
      Of course, these crypto devs are just being super lazy.

    • @galloviking4766
      @galloviking4766 Рік тому +21

      Man I loved Paragon and its death is the reason I hate Epic's guts so much. Lt Belica my beloved.

  • @ViaConDias
    @ViaConDias Рік тому +6718

    Stop comparing crypto games to 10 or 20 years old games. Making a great game back then was clearly a lot easier when all you had to do was be a very skilled developer and build your own game engine and all your assets without any of the free tools available today.

    • @tibsky
      @tibsky Рік тому +899

      you're right. it's an insult to those older games.

    • @ethanwasme4307
      @ethanwasme4307 Рік тому +237

      the more accessible programming becomes the worse off we all are for it

    • @AJ-po6up
      @AJ-po6up Рік тому +196

      @@ethanwasme4307 Then imagine how much worse AI will make things in the future.

    • @moronicalmeister
      @moronicalmeister Рік тому +167

      ​@@AJ-po6upexactly. Were already seeing it with ads. As ai does more, everything will become the same quality as youtube ai ads

    • @thehoodedteddy1335
      @thehoodedteddy1335 Рік тому +79

      Making a great game now is just as easy if you don’t set your bar as high as modern AAA game graphical fidelity and scope. Hedon Bloodrite, DUSK, Northern Journey, Cruelty Squad, Splortch, Cave Story, Undertale, all of these games were made by single digit developers, if not just one. Maybe it’s just that the people who actually have the heart and care about making good games all see NFTs as completely anathema to what they love about games and refuse to take part in their adoption because they are useless and harmful, not to mention they’d price the vast majority of people out of being able to play their game?

  • @elliotelliotelliotel
    @elliotelliotelliotel Рік тому +138

    my pet hooligan just makes me sad tbh. lots of decent potential. the idea of a rabbit themed cartoony shooter with looney toons logic where everybody is some kind of vengeful bugs bunny has a lot of appeal but the literal lack optimization and the insane nft integration really kills it. imagine if you were running around dropping banana peels in doorways and setting up anvil traps, or having your characters legs do the cartoon running spin and then flattening yourself into a wall. but no, nfts. money is the bane of creativity

    • @JustDatBoi
      @JustDatBoi 2 місяці тому +7

      Problem is, these games aren’t made with passion. Their core focus is to rope in more people so the top can make more money and so the users and get back at least some of their investment.

    • @penginlord9396
      @penginlord9396 4 дні тому

      the gameplay idea of "as long as you hold the run button and don't look down, you don't fall, but stay in place" is right there, and it's a hilarious idea

  • @Omega-lj9tq
    @Omega-lj9tq Рік тому +2502

    I love these videos, watching crypto bros slowly get more and more insane while they insist unity asset flips are the future is pure entertainment

    • @Chinothebad
      @Chinothebad Рік тому +165

      They'll keep coping and saying how this NFT junk got them fancy Italian cars and great wealth while denying the fact they wasted money and time on things that amounted to scams.

    • @vintagewander
      @vintagewander Рік тому +80

      ​@@Chinothebad yeah and the devs are the ones will have fancy Italian cars lmfao

    • @ViaConDias
      @ViaConDias Рік тому +121

      You just don't understand it braw
      It's the future braw
      Have fun staying poor braw while we go to the moon with X-genius, X-conman, X-racist, X-facist, X-Elon X-Musk-X
      Is what the crypto bros will tell you 🙂

    • @Chinothebad
      @Chinothebad Рік тому

      @@vintagewander rught after pulling the rug on whatever idiot there was dumb enough to think an asset flip was a good idea to throw money at.

    • @sageoftruth
      @sageoftruth Рік тому +61

      Not to mention those ridiculous marketing videos of theirs. "Hey look at me in my edgy black hoodie. I'm a total rebel, working against the system. Now buy my game."
      It's funny how people who prop themselves up as people who never have to try hard at anything can come off as the biggest tryhards.

  • @GabbieTheFox
    @GabbieTheFox Рік тому +393

    The thing with Blanko's is that it was originally an Early Access game with no Crypto or NFT functionality at launch (and it had in-game item trading without the NFT integration) and during that first year, it had a relatively small but thriving population of players. But as soon as the pandemic hit and NFTs started exploding in popularity, the developers shifted focus to shoehorn NFTs in, which understandably immediately alienated it's existing playerbase. Sad to see that it got abandoned and died out.

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios 7 місяців тому +25

      The whole visuals make me think someone thought "What if we combine Fall Guys with Minecraft/Roblox"

    • @KnakuanaRka
      @KnakuanaRka 7 місяців тому +12

      What a pity. ;~;

    • @MrPrajitura
      @MrPrajitura 5 місяців тому +18

      Honestly, the art style for Blanko looks quite cute. Too bad it got massacred by the crypto bros

    • @aimthemarkvenjoyer
      @aimthemarkvenjoyer 5 місяців тому +3

      That's sad ngl

    • @emilyofjane
      @emilyofjane 4 місяці тому +7

      Neopets almost suffered the same fate. Thankfully, they somehow managed to avoid it, but I know all too well how this sort of decision can destroy a community. I’m so sorry you all had to go through this.

  • @GlassbrainZ
    @GlassbrainZ Рік тому +224

    When someone advocating the EGS to you tells you that Valve lets anything onto their platform, remember the treasure of the giantess.

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios 7 місяців тому +14

      Okay, I have one thing in favour of EGS (but not against steam):
      They give away games. Some pretty good one even.
      But they still won't get any money from me.

    • @sorakafutanari
      @sorakafutanari 6 місяців тому +43

      unironically the treasure of the giant ass was better than every crypto game we've seen simply because it's fucking hilarious.

    • @vectorequinox6202
      @vectorequinox6202 5 місяців тому +24

      @@sorakafutanari At least the guy who made it was very, very happy the entire time he was making it with his one free hand

    • @Chinothebad
      @Chinothebad Місяць тому

      Not to mention all the slop Jauwn covered that EGS thought was a good idea to sell.

  • @LegalPhantom
    @LegalPhantom Рік тому +2266

    Then you remember Epic has been firing people and cutting costs while Steam hasn’t said anything and the Dota International is running without a problem. It seems the “work hard, not talk” approach to things work.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +397

      Yep laid off like 800 people

    • @Hisnitch
      @Hisnitch Рік тому +314

      Laid off a 800 people while still hiring and reporting record profits. Truly a great company, that Epic.

    • @PineappleDealer37
      @PineappleDealer37 Рік тому +63

      ​@@jauwnmeanwhile valve doesn't even have 800 people working at it

    • @ImTakingYouToFlavorTown
      @ImTakingYouToFlavorTown Рік тому +141

      And they are giving 40% of the Fortnite profits to the creative mode creators.
      Meaning they are burning millions to pay people who make skibidi toilet red vs blue tycoon.

    • @LasagaMan
      @LasagaMan Рік тому +52

      @@ImTakingYouToFlavorTown Epic has the same kind of fuck you money that companies like Nintendo and billionaires like Elon Musk have just by keeping Fortnite updated and licensing out Unreal Engine. Gabe (and all of Valve) could've been able to do something similar if they licensed out Source Engine like Id used to with IdTech.

  • @planescaped
    @planescaped Рік тому +435

    It is always hilarious when NFT stan's freak out in the comments.
    When you've put your hard earned dollars into... _this...._ then I imagine it causing quite the sinking feeling seeing people point and laugh at it.

    • @BlisaBLisa
      @BlisaBLisa Рік тому +70

      gambling addict behavior

    • @jensenraylight8011
      @jensenraylight8011 Рік тому +23

      yes, basically AI generated images killed NFT,
      if flooded the NFT market with Gargantuan amount of trash
      the value of the NFT is in the User created content, because there are very limited people who could create art,
      NFT create a natural Barrier of entry, a natural shortage.
      today, even a dumb 5yo could generate AI images and post it as NFT,
      it just tank the whole value into becoming worthless overnight.
      even now, people actually respect user created Art because someone actually pour their skill & thought into it.
      but, people tend to treat AI art as a user generated trash image, it's even worth less than a toilet tissues
      maybe they could fix it by banning AI art, but it's already way too late,
      and the founder don't want to be seen as a backward tech bros.
      they like to preserve their ego more than they want to succeed

    • @Szgerle
      @Szgerle Рік тому

      @@jensenraylight8011 NFTs were always fucking retarded, AI has nothing to do with it

    • @BlisaBLisa
      @BlisaBLisa Рік тому

      @@jensenraylight8011 it’s not the ai images that killed nfts it’s the nfts themselves. They were a scam from the very start there was no way they could succeed in the long run. It is cryptocurrency pretending to be art, people don’t buy a jpeg of an ape bc they like the art they buy it bc they want to make money. The way art is valued and the way crypto is valued is so different they’re incompatible with each other

    • @yousef858
      @yousef858 Рік тому

      @@jensenraylight8011oh please fak off, nfts were worthless before ai art was a thing

  • @emilyofjane
    @emilyofjane 6 місяців тому +63

    Pro move: Right-click save as your My Pet Hooligan character and mod it into Half Life 2 Deathmatch

  • @Demonsouls1993
    @Demonsouls1993 Рік тому +1166

    im glad valve banned those scam games

    • @CrystalWings12
      @CrystalWings12 Рік тому +48

      ​@@Callahan-zg6jnWhile I hate shovelware games, the only thing that I hate the most is play to earn games.
      That type of game is far more worse than gacha games.

    • @bullettime1116
      @bullettime1116 Рік тому +41

      ​@@CrystalWings12thing with gacha games is you go into them knowing what they are and expecting to light your money on fire anyways, these games are just people on copium

    • @jaimayy
      @jaimayy Рік тому +9

      @@CrystalWings12the worst part is that the people who play those are some of the smuggest people I’ve ever met online

    • @emib6599
      @emib6599 Рік тому +1

      I just remembered the "stem dumpster fire diving" from some years ago.
      A video where you search for scam games on steam.
      Now that video format seems to have disappeared.
      I don't know if it's because steam got better or the other online digital stores got worse.

    • @shemsuhor8763
      @shemsuhor8763 Рік тому

      @@emib6599 Steam definitely didn't get better.

  • @Kaloozi
    @Kaloozi Рік тому +854

    You can’t convince me these devs weren’t expecting Fortnite credit card kids to play their games and funnel money into them

    • @pyroparagon8945
      @pyroparagon8945 Рік тому +81

      Itd be easier and simpler to just use ye olde microtransactions.

    • @joshpatton757
      @joshpatton757 Рік тому +85

      Pretty sure Blankos was trying to be the next Fall Guys.

    • @Dr_Andracca
      @Dr_Andracca Рік тому

      @@pyroparagon8945 Sure, but as stated elsewhere it is easier to get funding from out of touch investors who think NFTs are "the next big thing". Also, it is easier to get whales if they don't see their wasted money as wasted, rather as an investment that "might" turn a profit.

    • @CRF250R1521
      @CRF250R1521 11 місяців тому

      web3 you own all your items, with microtransactions you own nothing. @@pyroparagon8945

    • @blakewhite3131
      @blakewhite3131 7 місяців тому +12

      ​@@joshpatton757imagine having millions and losing out to stumble guys or whatever

  • @user9267
    @user9267 10 місяців тому +88

    2:30
    This is just fancy language for "we do not actually use the blockchain at all, everything is done on our servers just like any other game"

  • @Hisnitch
    @Hisnitch Рік тому +835

    Wait, I was under the impression that Epic didn't allow for adult games on their store compared to Steam since Sweeney explicitly stated that he wasn't creating a porn store? I know he'd a hypocrite, but generally he's slightly more consistent then that.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +381

      We gotta get this video viral so he sees it and owns up to his mistakes

    • @seliamila1005
      @seliamila1005 Рік тому +64

      Nah because the majority stakeholders is Tencent and Tencent is a Chinese company, you know how puritan China is

    • @Hisnitch
      @Hisnitch Рік тому +206

      @@seliamila1005 Sweeney owns more then 51% of the company, so Tencent doesn't have majority control over the corporation. Every decision that has been made horrendously bad is a direct consequence of Sweeney effectively owning the company.

    • @jacobbachman4014
      @jacobbachman4014 Рік тому +68

      @@Hisnitch owning more than 51 percent doesnt mean tencent cant nudge them to do things

    • @icantcomeupwithnames469
      @icantcomeupwithnames469 Рік тому +169

      @@jacobbachman4014It does mean you can't "yellow peril" every decision you don't like away.

  • @zachb8012
    @zachb8012 Рік тому +349

    I'm a software engineer, business software not games, and my friend left the company I work at a couple years ago to work in, "game dev". Obviously making video games is like the funnest time someone can have programming and my friend tries to lure me to this new job but when he explained, "it's a shooter like CS:GO but all the items are NFTs". I was thinking, "wow... you're gonna be unemployed in 6 months." Well, he was, but I can't help but wonder if the game he was working on was featured on your show. Probably not, there's like 10k of the same lame game.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +75

      Do you know the name of the game?

    • @yousef858
      @yousef858 Рік тому +63

      I genuinely can’t comprehend that people still fall for this, its the Nigerian prince scam all over again

    • @fntthesmth423
      @fntthesmth423 11 місяців тому +29

      @@yousef858 as somebody who's looking for work in software, I can see where the guy was coming from. To be clear, a lot of people like this are willfully ignorant to crypto's flaws, but just as many need to put food on the table and make rent. They say beggers can't be choosers, and that's espescially true for poor folks in today's job market! Even in a supposedly lucrative field like tech

    • @lightningkitten
      @lightningkitten 11 місяців тому

      @@yousef858 it's literally every scam rolled into one. moon plots, gambling, phishing, fear of missing out, pyramid scheme, etc

    • @lightningkitten
      @lightningkitten 11 місяців тому +15

      i wouldn't be surprised if half these games straight up rootkit your pc

  • @d3v1lsummoner
    @d3v1lsummoner 10 місяців тому +155

    So the voice of the character in Treasure of the Giantess, it's the audio files of Cassandra from Soul Calibur 2. I'm about 99% sure of that. I mained her and mitsurugi so I picked up on it fairly quickly. There's a specific damage clip that's very obvious too. I've compared it to a youtube video of SC2 and I'm fairly certain I'm right.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  10 місяців тому +66

      Yeah you are right! A bunch of other people pointed it out too

    • @d3v1lsummoner
      @d3v1lsummoner 10 місяців тому +26

      @@jauwn i figured some others would have noticed, but after quite a bit of scrolling I didn't find the other comments. Which makes sense considering how many there are. Glad I'm not alone in hearing it.

    • @GreenChillZone
      @GreenChillZone 9 місяців тому +9

      I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed. That game was my childhood and I still pull it out fairly often so all the voices in it have burned into my mind.

    • @ThatNotSoAznKid
      @ThatNotSoAznKid 7 місяців тому +17

      I'm surprised no one else has mentioned it yet but the pink haired girl is literally a stolen and heavily modified model of Ayane from Dead or Alive

    • @artsyscrub3226
      @artsyscrub3226 4 місяці тому +1

      @@ThatNotSoAznKid
      I thought she looked familiar!
      Litterally
      Nft: dude can i copy your homework?
      Other games: yeah but don't make it obvious
      Nft:

  • @PeaceOnStix
    @PeaceOnStix Рік тому +476

    Seeing My Pet Hooligan caught my attention, because I actually met people working on the company! My professor invited them to talk to them about animation stuff; they didn’t mention ANY of their NFT-related stuff. Wild! Lol

    • @CrystalWings12
      @CrystalWings12 Рік тому +71

      I guess they didn't want to mention anything about that game with the 'eneftee' trend is dead.

    • @limcw6092
      @limcw6092 Рік тому +87

      Their animations actually looks really good, the nfts not really

    • @noahlovotti7722
      @noahlovotti7722 Рік тому +7

      It's hope that some are not too far gone

    • @julietravelvlog
      @julietravelvlog Рік тому +15

      well they tend to get laughed at outside of their echo chamber so there's nobody to pass the copium around

    • @thelyric2751
      @thelyric2751 Рік тому +47

      Yeah those are likely some talented artists wasting potential in an crypto-based company. Imagine if an actual indie game studio brought them on to make a game like splatoon.

  • @clarisrichter7966
    @clarisrichter7966 Рік тому +131

    Another reason why Steam remains king. I've never once browsed the Epic Store and went "Huh, I really want this game". Their algorithm and store front is sub-par compared to Steam, and even though I occasionally get shovelware suggested by Steam, the majority of the suggestions are things that align somewhat with my interest.

    • @yousef858
      @yousef858 Рік тому +31

      Atleast steam shovelware is funny, cheap, and mostly no scams were involved. You buy them one day while hanging with your friends you laugh your ass off and you uninstall it

    • @CaptainRhodor
      @CaptainRhodor 9 місяців тому +4

      @@yousef858 And a good amount of shovelware titles are meme games that some bored dev slapped together for shits and giggles before selling it to turn a quick buck off of like-minded memesters

    • @ozvoid1245
      @ozvoid1245 9 місяців тому +1

      It's a beautiful cycle.@@CaptainRhodor

    • @zenksren8206
      @zenksren8206 Місяць тому

      Nah Steam's UI also sucks, it's impossible to find anything new, good, or interesting outside a NextFest

    • @zenksren8206
      @zenksren8206 Місяць тому

      @@CaptainRhodor Meme shovelware is still shovelware and the people who give them joke positive reviews are idiots

  • @KingKrouch
    @KingKrouch Рік тому +75

    That giantess game even has the default UE4 mannequin walking animations too 💀

  • @CyberSpider35
    @CyberSpider35 Рік тому +785

    Remembering recent NFT market crash I think we could safely say - Steam approch is wright and Epic is not.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +269

      No dude Jauwn is wrong and NFTs are the future and this channel is just FUD and DO SOME FKIN RESEARCH NEXT TIME

    • @unironicallydel7527
      @unironicallydel7527 Рік тому +75

      @@jauwnto the moooooon

    • @onadaTotihotiH
      @onadaTotihotiH Рік тому

      “Recent” lmao

    • @midori_the_eldritch
      @midori_the_eldritch Рік тому +5

      How did it crash again? It's meen near nothing for most of the year at least!

    • @mikubrot
      @mikubrot Рік тому +15

      wright? like phoenix wright?

  • @1un4cy
    @1un4cy Рік тому +595

    Epic: we'll curate the store to prevent trashy games
    Also epic:

    • @goldenhate6649
      @goldenhate6649 Рік тому +27

      Considering epics AAA titles aren't doing so hot right now (cough Borderlands cough), pretty sure Sweeny is just in it for lining his pockets and splitting.

    • @haydentravis3348
      @haydentravis3348 Рік тому +3

      But who checks Epic isn't trashy?

    • @RepresentWV
      @RepresentWV Рік тому +18

      Fall guys used to be 60 player lobbies, now they’re down to 40 about a year after going ftp. It’s sad.

    • @CoralCopperHead
      @CoralCopperHead Рік тому

      Also Valve:

    • @MajinObama
      @MajinObama Рік тому +28

      @coralcopperhead685 Bad games exist it’s totally fine, but unlike Epic Games, Steam allows Reviews 🤡 Did you forget about that?

  • @CompagnonDeMisere25
    @CompagnonDeMisere25 Рік тому +1069

    Steam: "Hey! Here's a 15% discount!"
    Me: "Awww! You are so sweet."
    Epic Games: "Hey! Here's a free game!"
    Me: "HELLO, HUMAN RESOURCES?!"

    • @williamdrum9899
      @williamdrum9899 7 місяців тому +42

      Susan from accounting strikes again!

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios 7 місяців тому +100

      The fact that Epic gives away some pretty good games for free is the only reason I have it even installed.
      Recently I thought about getting some DLC content for one of said games, but then I remembered that it's on the Epic store.

    • @soupcangaming662
      @soupcangaming662 6 місяців тому +31

      @@HappyBeezerStudios Everything is free if you look hard enough.

    • @dr.cheeze5382
      @dr.cheeze5382 6 місяців тому +73

      ​@@soupcangaming662
      Yarr matie! If buying isn't owning than sailing the seven seas isn't stealing!

    • @cumcumcum148
      @cumcumcum148 5 місяців тому

      ​@@HappyBeezerStudiosfor me it's fortnite. I know I know. Cringe. I thought so. Started to play with my wife about 3 months ago, and I like it. It's simple, interesting, and with my "No buying skins" policy, I have a pretty good time

  • @UCXEO5L8xnaMJhtUsuNXhlmQ
    @UCXEO5L8xnaMJhtUsuNXhlmQ Рік тому +404

    The hooligans game looks like it doesn't even bother culling assets you can't see. That's really the only way I can think of that could make a game perform so awfully

    • @GeometricPidgeon
      @GeometricPidgeon Рік тому +73

      No, most engines cull right out of the box, no need to manually set it up. The problem is probably MUCH MUCH worse.

    • @goldsteins7819
      @goldsteins7819 Рік тому +8

      @@GeometricPidgeon Elaborate, I'm curious as hell

    • @domaxltv
      @domaxltv Рік тому +73

      @@goldsteins7819 Okay so if your rendering priority is set up correctly, the engine will smartly decide what objects you can or cant see and automatically unload the objects you cannot see, this requires some setup on the devs' end and isn't fully automatic unless you perfectly place down all objects in the correct loading order, I believe? Games like escape from tarkov, for example, have this done terribly and sometimes objects you should see are unloaded due to distance while also keeping other objects loaded no matter what, which leads to quite poor performance, especially coupled with the rest of the spaghetti code that is present

    • @goldsteins7819
      @goldsteins7819 Рік тому +5

      ​@@domaxltv Oooh thank you! I've heard of the concept but never knows and haven't searched on how exactly does the process work.

    • @FamousAmosBurns
      @FamousAmosBurns Рік тому +7

      I have inside info. That's 100% what is happening and why it has bad performance. There is a world partition bug in UE 5.2 where when a cell is reloaded, the mesh doesn't reappear. Instead it's just the collision so you have invisible objects blocking your way. The only fix right now is to have objects loaded all the time. With over 5,000 destructible objects throughout the map, it cut the performance in half. The patch that went out yesterday got back 10-20 fps which was a massive improvement but there is a long way to go.
      Keep in mind, this game is early access and the team wants people to play and give honest feedback. Criticisms are incredibly helpful. The game won't get better without it.
      Also, in terms of the crypto aspect the game currently is a traditional game with no blockchain elements in it. There will eventually be optional blockchain components for people that want to buy and sell rare skins to make money while playing games (similar to CSGO) but for those that don't want that they can play the game traditionally without it effecting the gameplay. It's really about giving options to all gamers.

  • @ScottieTheFox
    @ScottieTheFox Рік тому +181

    blankos was so upsetting because when it was originally announced and i heard about it it had zero mention of being a blockchain/nft game and then it suddenly became a core part of the game

    • @KnakuanaRka
      @KnakuanaRka 7 місяців тому +2

      Apparently the early access version even had something of a fanbase before they shoved in NFTs and scared everyone off. What a pity. ;w;

  • @periwinkle3556
    @periwinkle3556 Рік тому +194

    My cousin actually worked on My Pet Hooligan. The crew behind it is actually pretty cool, despite all the crypto shit. They were also incredibly pressed for time and there was a lot of behind the scenes shit that went wrong, which is probably to blame for the poor performance and missing features..

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +118

      Very interesting! It would be cool to talk to someone who worked on the game and was willing to talk about the experience, without having to dance around difficult questions a current dev would refuse to answer

    • @tatertime
      @tatertime Рік тому +61

      Honestly, the art style of the characters isn't too bad in my opinion. There is obvious polish that would be needed, but the characters fit well, and they gave me a loony toons vibe. I like consistency and even if the rabbits were not "good looking" (which I think they were fine, it was an art style choice) it is consistent and that is more important

    • @unfunnyclown5959
      @unfunnyclown5959 7 місяців тому +10

      Pretty cool people=\= crypto bros

    • @artsyscrub3226
      @artsyscrub3226 4 місяці тому +14

      @@unfunnyclown5959
      So fun fact not every dev who works on crypto games likes crypto, making games for a living is hard and you have to take contracts when you get it
      Always blame the core team not the devs they hired because the devteam might not even know it's a crypto game to begin with.

    • @unfunnyclown5959
      @unfunnyclown5959 4 місяці тому

      @@artsyscrub3226 how could one possibly make a game without knowing what the game is and either way you're still supporting crypto

  • @NoxDolore
    @NoxDolore Рік тому +940

    Every time i look at my game and think it's awful, i watch these and remind myself that it will never be as bad as this. Thanks jaun

    • @SkafosGnW
      @SkafosGnW Рік тому +26

      What sort of project do you have going?

    • @NoxDolore
      @NoxDolore Рік тому +158

      Horror game dealing with anxiety ^^

    • @SkafosGnW
      @SkafosGnW Рік тому +29

      @@NoxDolore Nice, best of luck with it! If you think of it, you should post here once its done

    • @NoxDolore
      @NoxDolore Рік тому +63

      It's a huge project but.. I do have something working. Maybe I'll post.

    • @Youkuri
      @Youkuri Рік тому +14

      For a second i read jaun as juan

  • @Velarix
    @Velarix Рік тому +383

    The even funnier thing about that Nexus one is the fact that that map is Paragon's map with minor asset changes done to it.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +111

      I had no idea that’s hilarious

    • @dranziken
      @dranziken Рік тому +26

      I noticed this too! And the saddest part is that the Paragon character assets are available for devs to use! So why didn't they just use some of them instead of the generic soldier dudes...

    • @goldenhate6649
      @goldenhate6649 Рік тому +6

      Its good to see Fortnite's terrible running animations is hardcoded into unreal 🤣

    • @CoralCopperHead
      @CoralCopperHead Рік тому +2

      Sorry, but putting a MOBA on blast for stealing another MOBA's map when I haven't seen a single MOBA that has more than one map period isn't much of an argument. Then again, the genre is just RTS for morons, so what do I know -- I can't even play RTS efficiently.

    • @Blutzen
      @Blutzen Рік тому +11

      @@CoralCopperHead "I haven't seen a single MOBA that has more than one map period" is an interesting way to say "I have never spent more than 10 seconds looking at MOBA games" but go off.
      Heroes of the Storm has a ton of maps, League has two, Smite has like eight and that's just off the top of my head.

  • @binboii2210
    @binboii2210 7 місяців тому +60

    Cripto is gambling for people that don’t want to admit they’re addicted to gambling

    • @Rosemy12
      @Rosemy12 5 місяців тому +10

      You're honestly better off gambling.

    • @artsyscrub3226
      @artsyscrub3226 4 місяці тому +4

      @@Rosemy12
      At least with gambling I'll get real money

    • @warp9988
      @warp9988 4 місяці тому

      @@artsyscrub3226 Yep. Crypto is where when you play you lose real money and when you win, you get worthless digital bits.

  • @Dannnnn375
    @Dannnnn375 Рік тому +3020

    I put all my money into web3 because I thought I’d get rich for doing nothing. Now I’m mad that you make these videos, it makes me upset and I want to cry.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +1617

      The real wealth was the bagholder friends we made

    • @Omega-lj9tq
      @Omega-lj9tq Рік тому +318

      L + you fell for a scam

    • @_crowfisher
      @_crowfisher Рік тому +155

      scams are scams bud

    • @BlackXixo
      @BlackXixo Рік тому +266

      The general rule is: if it is too easy, it's a scam. And then you do the research to either prove or disproved the claim, not the other way around :/
      Hope you get back on your feet soon

    • @blockchainprofessor.x
      @blockchainprofessor.x Рік тому +25

      You put it into the wrong thing. Crypto goes up and down and projects get rugged. Digital identity is next

  • @sageoftruth
    @sageoftruth Рік тому +100

    I'd expect nothing less (or perhaps nothing more) from a community that disparages hard work as the result of low-level thinking. I imagine they would cut every corner they could find, thinking they were "Innovating" their way around having to work hard at making a game.They're basically the enemies of passion, and we know what passionless games look like.

  • @DustinKBoggs
    @DustinKBoggs 4 місяці тому +15

    I really love the random VHS horror transitions with no relation to the games lol. Makes me think the games are going to be cooler than they are.

  • @ryanstone431
    @ryanstone431 Рік тому +444

    Feels like Epic Games, in their bid to get more content on their store, has let a ton of poor quality, rushed and lazy games on their platform. Then Epic Games acts surprised when these toxic crypto games are negatively received and DON’T increase their total active players. Wow, didn’t see that one coming 😂

    • @ForwardBias
      @ForwardBias Рік тому +60

      To be slightly fair, steam also lets a ton of poor quality, rushed / lazy games on to their store as well. But at least they don't allow crypto games specifically (which is a good thing)

    • @eightcoins4401
      @eightcoins4401 Рік тому +11

      Unlike Steam which is 80% shovelware hentai/yiff games consisting of stolen art

    • @planescaped
      @planescaped Рік тому +3

      Yeah that's really not an "Epic Exclusive" lol

    • @drdiabeetus4419
      @drdiabeetus4419 Рік тому +73

      @@ForwardBias The difference between steam shovelware and EGS shovelware is that the steam shovelware problem only really became a problem well after they had fully established themselves in the market, whereas with EGS they caused the problem in an attempt to increase the service's relevance and gain market relevance.
      And as far as an actual storefront for games, EGS is arguably one of the worst since the main thing they're known for is giving away free stuff. Good way to garner interest, but I feel like doing so sorta ignores the "Selling things" aspect of stores. Especially if that's the main thing you're known for.

    • @Mateus_Carvalho
      @Mateus_Carvalho Рік тому +4

      From what I remember, this was their way to reach out a burgeoning market and all.
      Their words not mine, this simply could not end well.

  • @notquitehuman5097
    @notquitehuman5097 Рік тому +188

    NGL, my pet hooligan aesthetically wise looks really good and stylish, it reminds me of those old edgy collectible toys that were all over the place in the 2000s. I bet it could have been a somewhat successful game if it were developed by a competent studio that doesn't give a fuck about NFTs.

    • @blackbox-yk8zk
      @blackbox-yk8zk Рік тому +4

      a proper deathmatch game other than halflife/tf2 mods sounds real nice, but i feel the art style is just too scummy to work

    • @RipRLeeErmey
      @RipRLeeErmey Рік тому +38

      If they cleaned up the art style a bit, optimized better, and made more, smaller maps instead of one giant map
      I could see this on it's way to being a fun little multiplayer indie title.

    • @soundrogue4472
      @soundrogue4472 Рік тому +11

      No, no it doesn't look good. What are you smoking?

    • @ScumSookar
      @ScumSookar Рік тому +10

      "Good and stylish"?
      Do you even have eyes?

    • @jellifygirl
      @jellifygirl Рік тому +34

      @@ScumSookar It's all relative. It has semi consistent characters that aren't completely nightmarish to look at, and even almost has an art style, where have you seen that in an nft game? before?

  • @OmniVirusHS
    @OmniVirusHS Рік тому +44

    God, I remember being hyped for Blankos from the UA-cam ad before buying UA-cam Premium. I was a Toys-to-Life kid who loved UB-Funkies and Skylanders, and Blankos promised that you could get a vinyl figurine of the character YOU MADE in game. I'm so sad to see that it ended up being an NFT shill.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +13

      I feel like I should do a review of UB Funkeys, I loved that game as a kid and I think my parents still have all of mine in a box somewhere in their basement

    • @OmniVirusHS
      @OmniVirusHS Рік тому +5

      @jauwn I would LOVE to see that review man, hands down.

  • @maverickhunter999
    @maverickhunter999 Рік тому +200

    Makes you wonder how many of these games devs were actually forced to add crypto shit to get funds

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +81

      More than one for sure

    • @recon_p
      @recon_p Рік тому +58

      I've worked at a company making NFT games before and as you can probably imagine, all of the devs hated the idea of crypto and the fact that they had to work and balance the game around it. They knew it was pointless too as the writing was on the wall for NFT's and everyone could see it except for management and investors. They predictably went under not too long ago. Sure makes me feel bad for the actual developers of all these other crypto projects

    • @thetheatreorgan168
      @thetheatreorgan168 Рік тому +1

      @@recon_pare you allowed to disclose more since you’ve implied that they collapsed?

    • @recon_p
      @recon_p Рік тому +25

      @@thetheatreorgan168 Sure, though I won't give any names, especially since they did treat me pretty well while I was working there. There isn't much to say though. We were working on a game as mandated by the higher ups that nobody had any faith in even if there weren't any NFT's attached. Still, since we were all juniors, we at least saw it as a good learning experience for making games in Unreal (of course)

    • @thetheatreorgan168
      @thetheatreorgan168 Рік тому

      @@recon_p ah

  • @blar2112
    @blar2112 Рік тому +126

    Friendly reminder that all that people are not investors, they are gamblers.

    • @angrybidoof847
      @angrybidoof847 Рік тому +2

      Same difference really

    • @kylegonewild
      @kylegonewild Рік тому +16

      To be fair, your odds of striking it big are higher at a casino than in crypto.

    • @Cowpowblaow
      @Cowpowblaow Рік тому +6

      FACT: 100 percent of gamblers quit right before they hit it big

    • @dojelnotmyrealname4018
      @dojelnotmyrealname4018 Рік тому +3

      Investers are just glorified gamblers tho.

    • @CK-lt6jl
      @CK-lt6jl Рік тому

      Wrong. Investors make informed decisions based on what data they can get and based on predicting what people are willing to give money for. Gamblers are just retards.

  • @EspyMelly
    @EspyMelly Рік тому +68

    Nobody behind crypto games has the passion required to make something worth playing. Because you don't get into crypto unless trying to make easy money is your priority, and that mentality isn't conducive to the amount of time and effort required to make a genuinely good game. This is why traditional game companies have the people with that mentality NOT be the developers, they're the executive higher-ups treating their workers like garbage and driving their customers' good will into the ground.

  • @GalaxyfullofStars
    @GalaxyfullofStars Рік тому +39

    Bruuuuuh, rip Blankos. I remember getting FLOODED with their ads on UA-cam. They'd low-key lie on some ads and advertise the game as a "virtual world" game i.e like Club Penguin and such

  • @calamaria9221
    @calamaria9221 Рік тому +57

    Man I still remember when Blankos had reveal showcases 3 years ago and had developer presentations. Where they were talking big about their qualifications (lol), how much content they'll add, and the game's quality. And when it wasn't a NFT game (or they were omitting it) as it seemed like another toys-to-life party game but without having to buy the physical toy.

    • @yautl1
      @yautl1 Рік тому +14

      I remember getting absolutely spammed with ads for them every time I opened UA-cam a year or two ago. It's good to see it turned out about as well as I expected.

  • @ramencat6408
    @ramencat6408 Рік тому +14

    There was a Godzilla nft for blankos and they posted about it on the Godzilla UA-cam channel. If I remember correctly they took the post down like two weeks after it was made.

  • @ole-martinthorsen6996
    @ole-martinthorsen6996 Рік тому +48

    Nice "introductory" images between each game, i love how you made them look!

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +19

      Thanks! I put a lot of effort into them for this video, I even rendered them directly to VHS to get that authentic grime.

  • @LegionIscariot
    @LegionIscariot Рік тому +22

    I remember i think it was Sweeney himself who said they won't let bad games on the EGS.
    That was in the early days when they tried to pretend their intensions were noble.

  • @Bluhmann
    @Bluhmann 11 місяців тому +21

    0:38 Unnerving 3D Intro featuring weird radio silence, straight into _using "PUNISHMENT" from cruelty squad as a backing track_
    you are speaking my language.

    • @Bluhmann
      @Bluhmann 11 місяців тому +1

      also being anti-crypto but that's implicit and part of the reason why I ended up here somehow.

    • @DoctorBones1
      @DoctorBones1 5 місяців тому +1

      Cruelty squads hyper anti-capitalist themes also match the videos really well.

  • @eddiii4030
    @eddiii4030 Рік тому +38

    Oh god, I didn't think the giantess game would make it into the video. Jauwn u absolute madlad

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +21

      It almost didn’t, UA-cam really doesn’t like it. I had to go over the top with censoring

    • @TorIverWilhelmsen
      @TorIverWilhelmsen Рік тому +10

      @@jauwn Seemed more fun than the NFT games tho. Also, I noticed that the EPIC store warns about 18+ content when looking at NFT games, naturally.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +23

      Ironically that game is only rated M, despite having 100% full uncensored nudity. Actually insane that Epic even allows that stuff, a minor could've easily bought it since Epic doesn't verify your age or anything.

    • @CainXVII
      @CainXVII Рік тому +7

      ​@@jauwnwell, that thing clearly isnt a human

    • @autobotstarscream765
      @autobotstarscream765 Рік тому +10

      ​@@CainXVIIJudging by that death animation where she shrinks and flies off erratically, she must be a balloon because she pops like one when she dies, which would explain her body shape but mean that the Epic Store has entered _that_ side of the Internet. 🤯

  • @coldcsd
    @coldcsd Рік тому +32

    bonus footage section is a hint toward jauwn becoming a giantess-type game streamer

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +14

      No (Yes(Maybe))

  • @mariosonicfan2010
    @mariosonicfan2010 7 місяців тому +8

    blankos looks like one of those early 2000s toys-to-life games, except without the part where you actually get to physically own the toy.

  • @fdaapproved6477
    @fdaapproved6477 Рік тому +72

    I like the aesthetic of the scene transitions in this video; they all ooze a fun, if decrepit vibe. Very fitting for games that are seemingly an endless stretch of ghost town, which is a shame considering. I hope the people who worked on these projects are humbled by the ghoulishness of it all and resolve to do better, but such is a matter of their own choices and self reflection, not ours.

    • @BigBuckies
      @BigBuckies Рік тому +9

      the people who work on these games never learn any self reflection because they make a bunch of money off early adopter crypto bros and late adoption bag holders, and then abandon their game with zero repercussions, the crypto game sphere is full of these types of dev teams who solely exist to make money off ppl who are constantly trying to become millionaires because they backed the next big thing

    • @twotruckslyrics
      @twotruckslyrics Рік тому

      the transition aesthetics 🙏🙏

  • @x-x
    @x-x Рік тому +129

    The chat feature was working just a few hours before you've started recording! I've wanted to see what that game was about and because I couldn't be while you were streaming (sickness) I jumped into the game and typed "kill me" after spending 15 minutes doing nothing and looking for players. Only then I couldn't access chat and I thought I was autobanned or something, but I might've triggered some kill switch and disabled chat, sorry!

    • @samuelbunkly2527
      @samuelbunkly2527 Рік тому +13

      least schizo cryptobro

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +114

      Someone who was playing clearly figured out how to use chat as well because while editing I noticed that someone did actually send a message. But the rest of us couldn't get it to work.
      Strange for that to even be a problem but I'm sure the developers will fix it soon... right??

    • @x-x
      @x-x Рік тому +31

      @@jauwn Im sure they're active in the community and have their best interest in mind

    • @CyberVonCyberus
      @CyberVonCyberus Рік тому

      What the fuck are these excuses ? Lmao.
      I'm going to need a shovel for all of that bullshit you're trying to feed me.

    • @cogbait
      @cogbait Рік тому +6

      @@jauwnsounds more like the issue is that only one message can be sent per server before the chat dies

  • @ComotoseOnAnime
    @ComotoseOnAnime Рік тому +22

    12:17 "Despite this the falling animation is actually really good and the way that your rabbit hits the ground is kinda like a Looney Tunes character."
    That's because it is exactly how a Looney Tunes character hits the ground, specifically that's the diving animation of Bugs Bunny from an early playstation game called Bugs Bunny Lost in Time and he hits the ground the same way, arms extended and legs folded backwards over their spine. It's probably not a direct copy but it's probably inspired by it and scenes like it from Looney Tunes

  • @kaydee66781
    @kaydee66781 Рік тому +79

    Tim Sweeney still wants to turn Epic into a “leading metaverse company.” I won’t be surprised if they introduce crypto and NFTs into Fortnite.
    They’re really setting themselves up for total collapse.

    • @goldenhate6649
      @goldenhate6649 Рік тому +13

      Honestly, them putting NFT's into Fortnite would be right up his alley, minus the possible legal ramifications considering most of crypto is illegal. And its not like you need crypto to have a store like that (as mentioned in the video, CSGO). At the end of the day, the value of digital assets is completely artificial and can disappear at any time, hence why the US has been moving to ban the removing physical currency.

    • @KajuTheRudeMonke
      @KajuTheRudeMonke 11 місяців тому

      "They’re really setting themselves up for total collapse."
      Good. They deserve it.

    • @george_denbrough
      @george_denbrough 9 місяців тому +1

      Nah, it's just gonna be a Disney hellscape now

  • @jauwn
    @jauwn  Рік тому +266

    Please express your reaction after viewing this video on a scale of 7 to 41.
    Subscribe:
    ua-cam.com/channels/-nIhxjNqjcm8EmpPWBg3wA.html
    Buy me a Coffee:
    ko-fi.com/jauwn
    Follow me on Twitter:
    twitter.com/Jauwnio
    Join our Discord!:
    discord.gg/Y8VhXPpunX

    • @THE_CARBON
      @THE_CARBON Рік тому +11

      69420

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +43

      @@THE_CARBON hey buddy next time u need to watch the whole video first before giving it a rating... i'll let this one slide, but i've got my eye on uoy

    • @XoriniteWisp
      @XoriniteWisp Рік тому +23

      I was asked to become the CEO of a crypto-related startup within the gaming industry. I've never had anything approaching CEO experience in my life. Welcome to my TED talk

    • @EZarts112
      @EZarts112 Рік тому +2

      41/41, especialy the treasure of the giantess section.

    • @cornstarch9142
      @cornstarch9142 Рік тому

      39

  • @amalgamation6954
    @amalgamation6954 Рік тому +8

    The cruelty squad music in the background is 🔥🔥🔥

  • @ChillavaKirby
    @ChillavaKirby Рік тому +106

    wait... has there actually been ONE crypto game it this point that has actually like, you know, fully released? Seriously. Even just one? How is this still happening?

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +82

      Technically Spider Tanks was the first one ever to explicitly say it was RELEASED. But then it was abandoned immediately after.

    • @ChillavaKirby
      @ChillavaKirby Рік тому +20

      @@jauwn well done Spider Tanks. I salute you o7

    • @earthwormjim3269
      @earthwormjim3269 Рік тому +3

      There is heaps of them, you just don't hear about them because they're not very good. There are no AAA quality crypto games that are fully released as yet, but there are quite a few in development.

    • @ChillavaKirby
      @ChillavaKirby Рік тому +11

      @@earthwormjim3269 I mean he’s gone over several of them. They’re almost all entirely in perpetual alpha states of completion.

    • @HellecticMojo
      @HellecticMojo Рік тому +6

      It's because it's meant to be abandoned by design. You are supposed to buy quickly and sell at highest value.

  • @PeeperSnail
    @PeeperSnail Рік тому +120

    Blankos actually seems to be inspired on art vinyl figures, which are the thing that Funko aped and turned into a consumerist nightmare.
    But honestly, before the NFT correlation and even before Funko made it standarized and normie, art vinyl figures already had the problems that would bloom into the issues that would come later. Like, I’m gonna be real with y’all, as a graphic designer and illustrator, the bulk of vinyl figures out there are butt-fucking ugly and expensive. People think the soulless standarized design was a Funko addition but it was always there, vinyl figures in a collection always had to adhere to a set shape, and many didn’t even allow for extra bits to represent elements in a design.

    • @mjjjermaine
      @mjjjermaine Рік тому

      +1

    • @twotruckslyrics
      @twotruckslyrics Рік тому

      aped?

    • @legoferrari14
      @legoferrari14 11 місяців тому +1

      ​@@twotruckslyricsCopied

    • @twotruckslyrics
      @twotruckslyrics 11 місяців тому

      @@legoferrari14 oh! 😅

    • @austinkasunic1291
      @austinkasunic1291 10 місяців тому +10

      I pretty much always saw Funkos as a cashgrab, if I really loved this characters so much, I'd get a poster of them or an actual replica/action figure, not a homogenized, shrunk down over simplified version of the characters I like. Never really got the appeal of them, I will say the only thing I bought was a 1960s Robin Pez dispenser, which I thought was a fun buy for like $8

  • @SeventhWhiteCat
    @SeventhWhiteCat Рік тому +6

    Mad props to Jauwn for doing this research, just watching anything related to crypto is so soul crushingly depressing and sad. It's not even the fun kind of bad. I can't even imagine the mental fortitude required to play one of these.

  • @pasketti4644
    @pasketti4644 Рік тому +32

    I used to be sad that I was a few years too young to jump on BC/crypto before it blew up, glad I didn't now because I know I'm too exceptional to have not lost it all + some

    • @cupriferouscatalyst3708
      @cupriferouscatalyst3708 Рік тому +2

      Too young when? Wasn't the crypto trend earlier this year? :0

    • @galacsinhajto
      @galacsinhajto Рік тому +12

      ​@cupriferouscatalyst3708 I have lost count of the bubbles that have popped.
      If you really wanted to be early and turn a profit the best time was pre 2017.

    • @cupriferouscatalyst3708
      @cupriferouscatalyst3708 Рік тому +3

      @@galacsinhajto well, the only way to turn any REAL profit is to have a lot to invest to begin with, as is always the case with trends like these, but yeah I could've sworn this stuff wasn't around before the pandemic 🤔 not that I remember much

    • @BigBuckies
      @BigBuckies Рік тому

      @@cupriferouscatalyst3708 crypto was certainly around before the pandemic, but nfts are a rather recent thing, being only around for a few years at this point, the og cryptocurrency, bitcoin, has been around since 2009, and ethereum, arguably the most popular cryptocurrency, has been around since 2015, and a bunch of other crypto crap has been released between those years and after, the pandemic is what brought most ppl's attention to crypto as being stuck at home and being uncertain about your job security and future led alot to the promises of crypto, which is to make a bunch of money while not being beholden to banks

    • @Melggart
      @Melggart Рік тому

      @@cupriferouscatalyst3708 The optimal time to enter bitcoin was 2009. At the time you could get plenty of it with the cost being just the use of your GPU to mine. But of course, it was not obvious it would blow up and there are many cases where people with up to thousands of bitcoin lost access to it, being losing their storage or just the password. Don't forget about the famous pizza that was "bought" with 10.000 bitcoin. Which is mind-blowing money even today, after the market crashed many times. Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20. Sure, some people got rich, but the vast majority are bag-holders.

  • @sigh9257
    @sigh9257 Рік тому +75

    The Jauwn squad segments were hilarious - almost enough to offset the depressing states of these ugly and soulless games. I’d rate this viewing experience a solid 37 of 41 ten-thousandths of a cent. The perfect roundness of the shiny globe ass in the last game disturbed me too much to give full points.

  • @subaru4920
    @subaru4920 Рік тому +14

    Epic has tried *EVERYTHING* to get customers to use their store...except actually improving their store of course. Who needs features to compete with Steam? Why do anything Steam hasn't already done for their customers or for that matter why do anything Steam HAS already done? All Epic needs to do is charge you money and to install a different game launcher!

  • @pikmin_79
    @pikmin_79 Рік тому +46

    I love your crypto game videos, they are very entertaining. I like watching bad games

  • @QuintusCunctator
    @QuintusCunctator Рік тому +66

    I'm torn. Torn between being depressed about the whole NFT shenanigans, and laughing my buttocks off because of this show of incompetence (and the horny Prince of Persia ripoff, of course). Does this prove that NFTs are a zero sum game?

    • @Delmworks
      @Delmworks Рік тому +4

      A zero sim game because there are zero sums of money to be made

  • @david_os1010
    @david_os1010 Рік тому +2

    19:10 you're getting for the Rayman 2 background music in the bonus segment alone! It's always nice to find another man of culture

  • @planescaped
    @planescaped Рік тому +18

    12:53 Man, I can't wait to get some Holligans™ branded shoes and changing my Holligans™ kitty litter before heading to work to run my Hooligans™ productivity software.

    • @thetheatreorgan168
      @thetheatreorgan168 Рік тому +3

      Cant wait to get HOOLIGANtm branded angle irons!
      And who could forget the all-new HOOLIGANtm branded vinyl siding?

  • @alicealysia
    @alicealysia Рік тому +18

    The bonus game at the end was honestly 20 times more creative than any of the nft games were.

    • @CyberVonCyberus
      @CyberVonCyberus Рік тому +14

      I have to give credit where it's due; using dancing poles with full rotation as a parkour tool is pretty nice.

  • @KairosObj
    @KairosObj Місяць тому +3

    19:40 I like Rayman 2 music in background to this lol

  • @skutfox
    @skutfox Рік тому +22

    they showed Blankos at a PC Game Show a while back and I was legit hype. Was basically NFT product before NFTs were mainstream. It fooled me, but then I realized that no one would want to pay 150 dollars for their Fall Guys skin.

  • @celarts5752
    @celarts5752 Рік тому +109

    I can't believe that Treasure of the Giantess was better than any of the crypto games /s

    • @steeledminer616
      @steeledminer616 Рік тому +27

      Technically yes;
      It was the only game that was playable beyond getting a dozen people together just to let it exist.

    • @mopolita7215
      @mopolita7215 Рік тому +18

      Well, adults game are made to be played, crypto games are made for money

    • @npiper
      @npiper Рік тому +27

      Nobody really WANTS to make a game about off brand Funko Pops or Vaguely Racist Rabbits, they want to make money. On the other hand the person who made Treasure of the Giantess WANTED to make a game about a woman with a giant ass jumping around and achieved their dream.

    • @crizmeow8394
      @crizmeow8394 Рік тому +1

      I’m losing my mind at that one it’s basically one of those “you won’t last 5 minutes in this game” ad scams, they just need to ask for your credit card info free the character dies

    • @kylegonewild
      @kylegonewild Рік тому

      @@mopolita7215 Bingo. There's not as much money in the space since it's considered a bit taboo by the mainstream but the people that pay for adult games will pay well for any shred of quality, and a lot of creators develop the games on their own time at their own cost. You can find completely free adult games with more passion and effort put into them than crypto projects with millions and millions of backer funding.

  • @shadow_shine3578
    @shadow_shine3578 4 місяці тому +3

    Something really funny to me is Chunko pop I think is the name of the knockoff versions in cruelty squad

  • @MilesHadley
    @MilesHadley Рік тому +12

    It's devastating that they made Chunkopops by Goatse Tech from Cruelty Squad real.

  • @samprice1302
    @samprice1302 Рік тому +7

    17:45 I'm pretty sure that map is actually from Epic's now defunct game "Paragon"
    It was a third person moba, they released all the assets for free when it shut down

  • @alexv3375
    @alexv3375 Рік тому +11

    6:47
    _"$400,000 to fire that gun, huh? Yeah, money well-spent!"_

  • @unironicallydel7527
    @unironicallydel7527 Рік тому +14

    its almost like crypto/nftbros arent actual gamers and while they'll invest in a product, they never have any interest in playing it.

  • @michaeltylerstewart
    @michaeltylerstewart Рік тому +13

    I am SO glad you are covering Blankos. Out of all of the NFT games, it's the only one that actually looked interesting enough for me to download.

  • @demonicspire1345
    @demonicspire1345 Рік тому +51

    I like how the giantess game was more entertaining and captivating than any of the other games you showed, even though that one probably had a single developer.

    • @williamdrum9899
      @williamdrum9899 10 місяців тому +23

      And he clearly made the game one-handed 😂

    • @playernotfound9489
      @playernotfound9489 9 місяців тому

      haha so funny 😐@@williamdrum9899

    • @EeveeBoi777
      @EeveeBoi777 8 місяців тому +5

      @@williamdrum9899the other one was being used to find inspiration

    • @thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527
      @thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527 3 місяці тому +2

      It’s like a trainwreck you can’t look away from.

  • @sweetypuss
    @sweetypuss Рік тому +22

    my pet hooligan actually looks like it's had some real love put into it. shame it was dead on arrival, as pretty much all crypto projects are.

    • @wgetJane
      @wgetJane Рік тому +1

      holy crap its the creator of cadaver calamity

    • @sweetypuss
      @sweetypuss Рік тому +4

      @@wgetJane this is the first time i've been recognized for my work in the middle of a random comment section. ign gave it a score of 3/10 and said its nearly impossible to beat without implants w/ default weapons only. but i balanced the map around how i personally like to play the game, so ign can shove it

    • @3u-n3ma_r1-c0
      @3u-n3ma_r1-c0 Рік тому

      @@sweetypuss LMAO based response

    • @RealLenny
      @RealLenny Рік тому +3

      @@sweetypuss "ign can shove it"
      :gigachad:

    • @higueraft571
      @higueraft571 Рік тому

      @@sweetypuss based

  • @MinoriGaming
    @MinoriGaming Рік тому +8

    Wait *that's* what Blankos is? I saw the ads and assumed it was a late arrival to the toys-to-life genre a la Skylanders or something like that! It was NFTs the whole time? Fucking hilarious!

  • @TheHuskyK9
    @TheHuskyK9 3 місяці тому +5

    15:34 You can tell zero furries were involved with this as the anthro characters look uncanny as hell

  • @lavendersmallarmscompany
    @lavendersmallarmscompany Рік тому +13

    Who are you? Oh you're here to check out my Blankos?
    I'm absolutely nuts about these guys. Must have spent over $100000 on them by now.
    Do you have a favorite? Me? It's hard to choose. They're all my children.
    Man it's so nice to meet another Blankos enthusiast…

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +14

      No, I would NEVER open my Blankos. They belong in their boxes. Bask in the awesomeness of my Gorbino's Quest Limited Edition 1 of 1 Blanko Chop.

  • @WipZedKay
    @WipZedKay Рік тому +16

    It's still weird to see crypto games ali- no wait, alive isn't the word I would use to describe these things...

  • @yachi2274
    @yachi2274 Рік тому +12

    19:08 0_0 WOAH THOSE ARE SOME BIG HONKERS!!!

  • @patagum8289
    @patagum8289 Рік тому +18

    False advertising, the game is called "Treasure of the Giantess" but she isn't a giant nor is there treasure. 1/10 at least it was playable.

    • @Blakbox92
      @Blakbox92 Рік тому +4

      She's giant, but the whole building is giant sized.
      Can't help you with the treasure though.

    • @CraftingGummi
      @CraftingGummi 10 місяців тому +4

      Maybe the real treasure was the UA-cam ToS we violated along the way

  • @SeriesOC
    @SeriesOC Рік тому +5

    We're gonna need a full playthrough livestream of that Treasure of the Giantess game

  • @ThompYT
    @ThompYT Рік тому +5

    at 16:13 youtube recognized "smash that like button" and played an animation under YOUR video to like it! wow!

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +3

      dude I saw that, so annoying

  • @georgeandrews1394
    @georgeandrews1394 Рік тому +14

    "A launcher inside of a launcher." Paradox and Digital Extremes do this, for example. Some older console games ported to Steam do this too. It seems a bit silly outside of the console ports, though.

    • @pyroparagon8945
      @pyroparagon8945 Рік тому +1

      Foreign companies that make a lot of money from selling data do this too on both consoles and pc. Conquerors Blade and War Thunder come to mind with their launchers made of spyware. Its for money.

    • @higueraft571
      @higueraft571 Рік тому +1

      @@pyroparagon8945 In Warframe's case, it MIGHT be to simply keep everything "unified"? I cant say the same for Guild Wars 2 as i dont have the Steam version, but i wouldnt be shocked if it too had a Launcher from Steam, much like the Standalone version.
      Especially since they tend to allow you to change game or launcher/download settings before you actually start said game among other things...
      They DO have separate accounts (at least Warframe, again unsure about Guild Wars 2's Steam Release, if it's a Steam or Arenanet Account), but that'd probably one thing i'd hope gets merged together...

  • @MorbidlyObeseChihuahua
    @MorbidlyObeseChihuahua Рік тому +6

    I remember seeing the Blankos game being advertised during the last E3 digital event in 2021. Just to show how far E3 has fallen.

  • @IronInkStudios
    @IronInkStudios 7 місяців тому +1

    7:14 Yeah you are right in that "99% quite before hitting it", my mom gave up on something in a casino and the next person got money after there roll, my mom was actually upset. I found it funny tbh.

  • @TheHeavyshadow
    @TheHeavyshadow Рік тому +23

    Man, I remember being somewhat hopeful about the EGS before it launched because I hoped with some decent competition Steam had to step up their game in terms of curation and service. Turns out all the EGS did was lowering the standard for how bad a huge platform can be.

    • @MajinObama
      @MajinObama Рік тому

      Well their store was already lacking most of the functions Steam had, and they made a ton of people upset with the exclusivity deals of games that were promised to come out on Steam… can’t be much of a Competition from the get-go if they can’t even begin to compare to the competition -_- And the bad decisions from the Start. But yeah true, some people did cope into thinking that because of Fortnite and when it stole Rocket League.

  • @dresden5646
    @dresden5646 10 місяців тому +3

    I used to see so many ads for blankos but never played it since I never liked having to buy a skin to sell it later or whatever it was the ad said it was about.

  • @CoasterCalumC
    @CoasterCalumC 6 місяців тому +3

    Im late to the party here, but i was a play tester for Blanko's through a 3rd party playtester back in late 2021, and even during the playtest phase. People were so confused as to what were going on, playtesters were leaving when realising it was Crypto game, there were 3 or 4 game modes, and they were trying to push us in to buying the NFT's and answering in certain ways. One of the people i know liked one of the mini-games and they used their quote in their marketing.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  6 місяців тому

      And now the game is dead forever

    • @CoasterCalumC
      @CoasterCalumC 6 місяців тому

      @jauwn the perfect outcome to be honest :)

  • @TactiCATS
    @TactiCATS Рік тому +6

    "BAZINGAS?!" -Jauwn 2023

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +3

      Gonzales

  • @davbones
    @davbones Рік тому +6

    I love your videos and also your perfect usage of the Cruelty Squad soundtrack

    • @cupriferouscatalyst3708
      @cupriferouscatalyst3708 Рік тому +2

      I swear he's subtly flexing his 10/10 taste in games with the song choices, even all the games that are actually shown on-screen are hot garbage. Cruelty Squad, Outer Wilds, System Shock etc. are all such masterpieces.

    • @jauwn
      @jauwn  Рік тому +3

      Because I have great taste in games it means I am the most qualified to judge NFT games

  • @notadragon4904
    @notadragon4904 4 місяці тому +5

    Buff doberman nft man could fix me

  • @AgentSapphire
    @AgentSapphire Рік тому +6

    The sad thing is that last game looked like it had more gameplay in it than any of the NFT games. And a lot more engaging since some of those jumps at least looked pretty hard

  • @FoNgThOnG
    @FoNgThOnG Рік тому +11

    Those folks definitely took the money, put 10 dollars into making their games, and used the rest on themselves.

  • @Kristyybug
    @Kristyybug 2 місяці тому +3

    NFL Rivals LITERALLY took the font of Marvel Rivals… and I’m pretty sure that font is copyrighted…