Simon Sinek: How to discover your "why" in difficult times | TED
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- Опубліковано 2 тра 2024
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What has the coronavirus pandemic taught us about ourselves and our relationships? In a deeply personal and wide-ranging conversation, leadership expert Simon Sinek shares his own experience caring for his mental health as the world shut down. He discusses why we need to nurture friendships (in both good times and bad), explains why anyone can be a leader -- and reveals the secret to discovering your "why" in life. (This virtual conversation, hosted by head of TED Chris Anderson, was part of an exclusive TED Membership event. Visit TED.com/membership to become a TED Member.)
0:00 Intro
0:41 The impact of collective pandemic trauma
03:33 How to strengthen your relationships
06:21 Healing by helping others
11:06 An exercise to find your “why”
13:24 The best way to show up for loved ones
14:36 The true definition of leadership
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To those of us who are building our lives from zero, with no backups, no inheritance, no connections, Just us and our plans. May the Almighty God bless you financially and Give you the strength to fight through all obstacles that comes your way
That’s a nice thought, but a nice thought is all it is. Reality is much different and harsher. Prayers are always nice to have and send, but it’s also cheap in a world where some few ppl are living so abundantly while others are suffering.
Life isn’t as hard as we try to make it. It’s all about perceptions, and how you deal with external issues outside of your control. People take things to seriously, and dwell in despair like a warm blanket. In the end we all die.
@@GOD999MODE I used to think like you when I was in my teens till 34 years old... But as I grew older, and discovered God,when I experienced both success and failure, and got married and had kids, I realised how much strength prayers gave me, prayer works and God work in mysterious ways and That God truly is the one that decides.
My grand mother she had nothing, she was a servant to a rich family in China , she accepted Christ went through world war 2 and the Japanese occupation of Singapore, it was her faith that carried her through, so no prayers aren't cheap, in fact they are priceless
I'm not sure where you stand in the subject of God or faith but I pray your heart be open to experience Him.
@@awfully.average God wants a relationship with us. I encourage those looking for God to read John....in the Bible.
Thanks the same to you, many blessings for your future!
"... That is why we have to invest in people when we are doing well and we think we don't need anybody."... 👍
@@manujohn99 Everyone is...you invest time, emotion, attention, even money & resources into relationships with other humans.
I wrote down this same quote in my journal!!
@@manujohn99 as our society becomes more consumerist. More individualistic. We will invest in each other less and less. Hobby clubs are a thousand times more difficult today than 100 years ago because everything runs on “what can you do for me”. The understanding that you invest time in a group or a person to make the future better is… lost.
Emotional intelligence and resilience are the new superpowers now
Being rich is the new superpower
@@CoffeePoints Oh yes, that's absolutely true as well. Money with a strong mind and analytic skills can make us the best though because money without a stable mind might lead to trouble and the money might just perish
@@MrDarshD very well said sir👏🏻
@@half-eatencheeto3609 Thank you! Glad you think so!
@@CoffeePoints I wouldn’t say a new superpower, but it does open many opportunities.
When a leader ask how are you ?
And when he actually care .
He is true leader
Or she?
"Leadership isn't about being in-charge, it's about taking care of those in our charge" Such powerful words and a awe inspiring statement.
How I wish many corporate CEO's thought like this. The world would be a vastly better and different place.
Man I needed this so hard right now. I'm a late bloomer of depression phase. I've been doing well for the longest time, but now is just gruesome.
- change of sleep pattern
- change of attitude towards socialising (isolation)
- bad motivation, unproductive behaviour and exuses for said behaviour
Additionally.
- decreased authentic emotions
- overthinking, anxiety towards the future, negative thoughts
Hang in there buddy. The world wouldn't be the same without you.
@Najd Warthan @James Cataldo There I was just trying to let people know that they are not alone - not suspecting those heartwarming words from strangers. Thank you a lot for caring. I wish you both health and wisdome to overcome any challenges ahead.
@@thelmchen2499 we gotta look out for each other man. I really believe what I said. Life is hard and just sucks sometimes but if you nope out of it prematurely you're leaving the rest of us alone. Nothing but love
This is just a paid inyection of anestesia of the world we life in. Where companies that nonstop produce things we don't need work with social media and creating of trauma and comparesing and depression, getting ride of sensible people, these companies work with companies that polute by sending items in no time and lie saying it's not polluting at all, I notice they start no to accept people like Vandana Shiva who says please teach and love children to love the earth and grow cuality food
Same for me last year. Just sharing some perspectives, I feel that offering help to people who are helpless can be emotionally and mentally rewarding. It could give significance to our seemingly unproductive days & motivate us to do more, even for a short term (until Covid ends). Also, it is best to keep ourselves open minded as to how we can help others. If we really intend to help, talk to the helpless and find a creative way to help. It doesn’t have to be financial help (unless the real situation really depicts so and we really know the people personally & their genuine interests). Financial help is often misused by ruthless & opportunistic people. Important thing is that we stay glad with what and whom we have and live in the present. I hope my bit of experience could help people have a better look at life during Covid. Stay healthy and safe, dear all.
I always admire how simon talks. Its like it always comes out of sincerity and caring manner..Bless everyone and stay safe
😂😂😂😂😂
I started emotionally imploding at the beginning of this year. I have been a single Mom of 5 for over 10 years and thought I could get through anything. This is really resonating with my current situation. Thank you for sharing this with the public. We all need to hear this.
Keep your head up and stay strong! You are an awesome person and a great mother for your kids. In case you are not told this enough in your life let me just say: Thank you for everything that you do for your kids and for the people in your life. Nothing you have done has gone unnoticed and it is really appreciated every single day. We are here for you if you need any kind of emotional support or you just need to be reminded of how much your happiness matters to the world! You are never alone and we are always right by your side wishing you the very best in everything that you do! Our best wishes and prayers are also with your lovely kids because they matter to us as well. Don't ever let anything take away your happiness! Stay the person that you are and never change unless it is to improve on yourself. Everything will be okay buddy and you will make it through the hardships that come in your path! We are just a message away if you need us for anything! Stay awesome, safe, and humble!
I can’t say I know how this feels yet I just want to say, Keep going. You got this ❤️
@@jeffreyzie Thank you!
"You think u r strong"
Men can cry.....the way he was shy to accept that he cried....so cute 😀
19.5m Subscribers !
Just the talk we all need to hear during Covid & in this time and age. Thank you for this!
So heart felt with compassion, sincerity and vulnerability. Love this conversation!
I can listen to Simon forever!!! One of the most important talks ever given after the pandemic. ✌️ Thank u Simon.
2:25 I fell into these symptoms post military retirement after 20 yr career. Spiritual Awakening if you ask me. Got help and its a natural progression. Phenomenal growth since...
that is awesome! Asking our friends to articulate our why is so powerful to see ourselves and tap into our real potential!
In the world of dilemma and the never ending question of what i gonna do next, this hit me hard. I really needed this, Let go of the despair and take a look of the world around you! This will be the start.
Wow, thank you Simon. For you to come out and being vulnerable and open up that all people have their up and down regarding how popular they are.
It’s always so amazingly inspiring to listen to him❤️
I watched this video with my team and we can all relate with every point. Thank you Simon and TED for sharing heartfelt information with the public.
COVID was literally the blessed year of my life. I refused to fear and I lived and spoke faith. God is good and in control.
The necessity for quality friendships is so needed these days. You are so inspiring Simon thank you for giving us your passionate insights.
This makes me wanna cry i wish i had friends... i had many friends - went through a great trauma and only had one person to tt i went to AA for support i overcame the disease of drinking but not the trauma
I went out thinking i was ok and got covid
A true leader raises another up even above themselves there will always be a place for them
when I first saw this video the only thing I thought was what a failure i was...actually still think so.
i don't have friends, am afraid of asking help to others and doubt every single thingh i do, during covid-19 had only thouht of others especially my mother and how she was struggling with everything. But at the same time i am still losing my self my center and now here i am not knowing what i ever want and live day after day without a porpouse or a mission...nothing.
to @MysMiranda M. I don't know what you had gone through but i would like to tell you that you are not alone and that out there is someone that will help you see how much you value and teach you how to love your self even with all the scars that your soul has and all the thinghs you had suffered. Don't despaire and have patience, think that one day you will found your true happines and balance and even if that person may not stay besinde you, you know that what that person has given you will help you day by day to became someone better, the person you want to be.
I would like to extend this message to all the person that will read this comment and hope that even if you are living a dark moment of your life you will survive, and become stronger than ever
@@martinapiazza6101 if that isnt one of the sweetest things...i think a lot of us who have been through stuff either go one way or the other, we hurt or help...thank you youve helped please take care of yourself
I definitely am realizing as I get older how important it is in making and maintaining friends to make the first and second and third and fourth and umpteenth move. Most people aren’t going to hit you up first, but the more you show you care, the more likely they are to come around and stick... granted I still don’t do this enough, but it has worked for a few so far! Hope this helps 🙂
@@brantleymotes2340 thank you i took your advice and messaged a woman from work she was very receptive! Thank you its important to make an effort i cant complain about not having friends without at least trying
@@mysmirandam.6618 thank you so much, I really hope you will get the best in life. And remember that even if life is rich of up and down at the end of the day you can say: "I had give the best of me". Also remember that even the simplest of action could safe the day for someone else.
Simon - consistent and profound
He just might change the world.
This is something wonderful I heard in a long time. ❤
Well, this is the kind of info we need in these tough times. Thanks a lot for sharing these, I really appreciate that
Thanks for this, TED!
At the right time, always at the right time...
S/O to CB Benares!
What he talks about, being able to pick up the phone and call someone just to let them know that they’re not alone, really really helps.
So thankful for the practical wisdom.
Thank you, Chris and Simon. A snack that hit the spot! May you and yours...Be In Good Health.
This was helpful information. Thank you. Especially to state, rather than ask. It's true, when I ask a friend "how are you?" it leaves them an easy door to close with "fine." Whereas, "you seem different today" or "something's wrong" leaves them more space to actually share and potentially vent and heal that moment's heaviness.
Thanks Ted! This conversation really answered my few questions that was so deeply, intimately related to me! Thanks Simon!❤ I'll definitely chk ur work.
Such a simple yet deeper explanation of basics of life and nuances of human dynamics
That part about leadership, I just told someone the same thing. I knew I was not wrong to word it that way, people always think that having authority and being forceful,loud or even aggressive makes you a great leader. When that is far from it, thank you for this confirmation here.
Thank you for your sharing Simon.
Thank you🔥. Love your talks. Very imspiring. Service to humanity brings joy. Living a life of service is indeed a question of attitude and priorities. We can serve humanity in all various contexts where we interact with others-in our studies, work,family, leisure and so on....
Simon Sinek is the boss we never had
Wow, such truth... why so many people/couples split up. I am still healing over this
Thank you for this.
Brilliant advice.....bless you
Awesome I learn a lot so deeply in his words God bless you for your wisdom!
Thank you For this talk
Wow! I really needed to hear this today. Thank you!
I very much like how he described what a true leader is.
My only issue with the end question and making statements vs. asking questions is depending on who you’re talking to, some will use these blanket statements as a way to project onto you, knowingly and not, I wonder how projections can be avoided when genuinely trying to check on/help someone and vice versa.
Wonderful especially the Last 3 questions and anders! Wonderful
Thank you TED and Simon. I am truly enjoying your wisdom shared Simon. I find myself seeking out your content now more than ever. Keep it coming.
Hello @Kat stevens
this is the thing I find the most troubling about his method...... a lot of it is based on the assumption that we all have good relationships with family and friends who actually truly know us. So it feels like for those of us that don't have that, the message is 'sucks to be you, sorry.'
I appreciate the vulnerability he displayed!
We love you brother, Simon ❤
Thank you!
sincerely
One of the most inspiring, bringing hope and humanity speeches
So insightful
Awesome questions and answers! I think Simon is the true leader who takes care about us
He's so inspiring
A very honest conversation, thanks for sharing Simon!
To Dear SS,
You changed my life and bought hope to my world of life because you believed in a lot of values I too believed in the business arena and even personal life's development. I thank God for taking SS to great hights. I hope and pray SS's teaching and concepts are taught to the world more and more. Because as I know humanity is not amongst all I know in this day and age. Especially in the business world I come from example living abroad and working there. Now back at home I know there is lots of humanity still left. Sad our systems are so poorly built though.
Your speech now and also many many more speeches I have listened to are certainly praise worthy as always. Thank you again for showing how to get help when I'm in trouble. And I agree having a good friend or too helps so much.
Regards,
Sampath.
This is what we get emotionally attached with those freind who are as important as our family, so we have to respect for those relationships which are being around of us.. 💯
Thank you😪
Wow thank you Simon for showing us is ok to be vulnerable (I could feel you when you said u cried), it’s ok to ask for help. That we are not broken, because I lost daily contact with other people (not my family) during Covid. I was yearning for connection, now I recognize that O was depress, not sleeping, not smiling for a year, then I went to a week yoga retreat where I could hug others and started to smile again, I cried without reservation.
Ok u said the same thing i wanted to say namaste
Quick simple to the point, well to great points :)
When I began to feel the depressive state of my family, I decided that I urgently needed to do something new and fantastic. I did this project for 7 months and it took my whole family, now I'm too shy to talk about it, because it's cool and incredible.
That was the ace I needed.
"Something wrong. U're not the people I know"
Great conversation Thanks for sharing
Empathy in the workplace is so needed these days, if more leaders had that more employees would want to go to work, feel happier to become a team and feel like they have a purpose for working at an organization.
Find your big why (purpose) thank you Simon
Your a great guy I download the video to watch it later
Thanks It was wonderful talk
This is EVERYTHING! ❤😊
🙏 thank you
Everything he said is exactly my situation! it took this video and his words to let me know it is trauma & depression..
I ended up breaking down feeling the desperate helplessness I was swathed in....
What would Simon say to someone who cannot (for whatever circumstances they are right now in) afford even to be of service to another??
Thank you all for this video. I have been feeling these "symptoms" for a while now, but this last two weeks had been the worst. I am facing depression, and I am trying to figure out what to do, because I need to get my thesis done, but I feel burn out. I feel totally unmotivated, guilty of not being productive enough, and so on. It is good to know that many people have overcome this and can do it. I know it is possible 💪🏼
It feels like you've given words to exactly what I'm feeling for last couple of months. I know I have to look for new clients, work on my confidence and put time in my business and support my family. I make schedule to keep me productive and I fail to motivate myself and then feel guilty about it. And yes I know I will overcome it and I'm working on overcoming it. Just don't know how long will it take.
I'm also feeling very down lately. And I've had both symptoms that Simon mentioned: thrown off of my sleep schedule and losing friends.... I can't say I don't have any friends, but I don't have any like-minded friends which is important. I don't know how to reach out to others who are like me and have the same passion or worries. I just hope this pandemic is handled soon.
@@_silhouettestudio_ I feel you. Having like minded friends is important and in this pandemic it's hard to keep up somehow.
Very well done
Yes, we are very old in mind & body in a modern times. We know how push them to the edge but forget that we can fall to our old self. That makes us Human
Excellent video!!!
"We can be the leader that we wish we had."
Yup to everything!
I love this! :) Thanks.
amazing simon❣️❣️❣️
totally agree. i lost friends durig covid . i found some v precious friendship.
11:31
Need to time stamp this so I can ask this to my friends
I'd love to do this with my friends too but they would say oh not this feeling stuff again!
How random that I clicked this video. Completely unrelated to COVID, this is what I needed to hear right now! Thank you.
14:50 that's what I did years ago, with little knowledge on leadership nor the concept mentioned here, and I my main goal wasn't trying to be leader, but just trying to get everyone work efficiently and happily.
I have ups and downs with the colleagues around me, (mostly ups because I was foolish optimistic), and also like mentioned the upper management are no leaders. Yet after I resign from my position I learn that 90% of those that see me as "leader" only see me as a fool and care less about me, and that people tell me 1 of them don't even want me to come back, who was my colleague for years.
What I learn is that being a leader is a mean to a end, most of it is just a show, and that you will need to be satisfied with the "end" you seek that you are risking your resource (time, money, emotion, dignity..) for it not to be regrettable ride.
At least that's what I think.
Thank u very much for that
Thank you for this. The one thing that I find hard though is identifying the friend whom I can share my thoughts.
ohhhhh I have the exact same problem. Sometimes ai think I don't have enough friends or I haven't picked the right ones. I've started to lose contact with them one by one during the pandemic, it's like they don't even care if we don't see each other anymore. How sad is that?
Millions of people are depressed around the world. Many people do not realize this. I think that people should definitely talk about it. This applies not only to adults, but also to teenagers. Adults involuntarily transmit their worries to them.
I think the whole world needs to work the 12-step program. It's a 'we" program. Success is achieved when working with and serving others.
Little add-on/correction at 3:33 - it’s not about the importance to connect with other people as we do that all the time and are in the outside - it’s about to connect to ourselves what we have lost due to be in the outside/the past/the future all the time - it’s about to be in the presence with yourself - look into yourself and of course - this can be a fearful and dark journey due to „not follow your true self“ - what nearly no one discovered but that’s the way to go 🙏
The Covid Time made a huge clean up on „friend-/ relationships“ and gave space to potential new ones based on ❤
Blueprint for new normal: check out Pantajali‘s Yoga Sutra - if humanity starts to follow that then everything with be different and we go in an health Great Shift 🙏❤️
Always look forward to new & different TED Talks. Thanks for your time & sharing with UA-cam!
I actually think a bunch of those statements towards a depressed person are very risky; "You are not the same", "I worry for you". It sounds accusatory, and can be interpreted as such. "you are not the same - I miss old you." It means "you have changed" which is usually negative. "I worry for you" means that person is a burden. Don't forget, depressed people see the world very darkly and often they have severe image issues and self confidence issues as well, and so those statements can be a lot to deal with. People did this to me (those exact statements) and all it resulted was that I withdrew completely and utterly from them and the world. It was not a good way to approach me. Far be it from me to give corrections on a vid like this, but it should be taken into consideration that not everyone responds the same. Some people just need a bunch of space and the repeated words of welcoming and affection. Others need to cry on the phone together. And so on.
So, if someone does not wish to talk about it, you can't force them, and dragging them into a conversation where they have little chance of "diversion" is just going to make them clam up. Rather, being understanding & open ("I hear you", "That must really suck", "It must be terrible to feel how you do") & repeated words of welcoming ("You know you can always call me. Even in the middle of the night", "you're always welcome to come have a glass of wine" (bless my neighbours for this one), and letting people come to you at their own pace. Gentle nudging in activities, like "Do you want to go to the park with me? No? Okay, let me know if you change your mind", and soft insistence ("Hey, so how about that coffee this weekend then? No worries if you're not up for it, but I'd love to see you")
I didn't cry during lockdown. I was at home chilling enjoying the unemployment money. Occasionally my sleep schedule would go out of whack but only for a few days. Also my hygiene routine never suffered much. I made sure to shower at least three times a week. I was happier to not have to go to work then I was sad about not being able to go out. 🤷🏾♂️
I don't know “why” but since a couple of days I've been hearing references from “Start with Why,” heard Jim Kwik, Greg McKeown quote him in their talks, and now, this UA-cam notification!! I also downloaded the book yesterday. It's like a sign, I think I need to watch his videos and read his book ASAP!
you go girl💅🔥
Go for the book. I'm sure it's going to stay in the list of your most cherished books read so far.
@@half-eatencheeto3609 thank you ❤
@@shubham_k Thank youu, I loved this video, he seems like such a down to earth and kind person, I'm going to start reading Start with Why soon, hopefully will let you know how it goes too✨
@@KainatPanjwani I prefer Simon Sinek's simple framework consisting of "What", "How", and "Why" cause i've been engaged in a personal project of learning my "Why" for about a year or so now. I tend to avoid calling it "purpose" because that term is watered down and almost no one can agree on what it means😩
I started watching TED
Between stimulus and response we have a space a power and freedom to response
GREAT I HAVE TO WRITE AN RESPONSE
Simon is amazing!
I have this certain condition that I don't get to meet my family, and close friends. It's been couple of months now and I feel like I'm not fine..
I loved having my own time before all this but this is just getting too much for me.
Nice man
Clever man
Being a Leader is simply being responsably caring.
15:04 leadership is a responsible taking care anyone in our charge.
This is just a paid inyection of anestesia of the world we life in. Where companies that nonstop produce things we don't need work with social media and creating of trauma and comparesing and depression, getting ride of sensible people, these companies work with companies that polute by sending items in no time and lie saying it's not polluting at all, I notice they start no to accept people like Vandana Shiva who says please teach and love children to love the earth and grow cuality food
I try to do the “why” with my friend at 9 p.m. The conversation was about 45 mins. Things still not really clearly at all, but she said something like “ I feel to be real me when I look at you, when you just be you, so wild”. Could it be a why? Does that mean I’m inspired or something? Still so confused… maybe I would try it with more friends…
((...we do know what makes life worth living. The people ...loved and they were loved. They were mothers and fathers; they were husbands and wives; sisters and brothers; sons and daughters; friends and neighbors. They had hopes for the future and they had dreams that were not yet fulfilled.
And if there’s anything to take away from this …it’s the reminder life is very fragile. Our time here is limited and it is precious. And what matters at the end of the day is not the small things, it’s not the trivial things, which so often consume us and our daily lives. Ultimately, it’s how we choose to treat one another and how we love one another.
It’s what we do on a daily basis to give our lives meaning and to give our lives purpose. That’s what matters. At the end of the day, what we’ll remember will be those we loved and what we did for others. That’s why we’re here.)) - President Obama 🔥 🔥
This man has charm in his eyes 😍