What If I Cheat? (w/ Relationship OCD)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 8 лип 2024
- I find other people attractive and I feel horrible and guilty.
I have images and thoughts of cheating, does that mean i'll do it?
What if I end up hurting my partner because of these intrusive thoughts?
I can't stop obsessing about the past or false memories of cheating.
If you've had these obsessions or anxieties then this video is FOR YOU.
Remember, #YANA (You are not alone). There's a community of people just like you and you have the ability to heal!
RESOURCES:
» WEBSITE: AWAKENINTOLOVE.COM
» INSTAGRAM: / withawakeni. .
» ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: rocdcourse.com/the-checklist
» ROCD 2.0 COURSE & COMMUNITY: rocdcourse.com/
» PARTNERS OF ROCD MASTERCLASS: rocdcourse.com/partnersofrocd...
» WORK WITH ALEXIS: www.awakenintolove.com/coachi...
Disclaimer: All of the information listed in this channel is for informative, motivational, educational purposes only. If you are specifically looking for a licensed and professional therapist then you are welcome to work with our therapist, if not, we will refer you to someone else. Please note that this channel is not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder but serves only as education and motivation.
This obsession is one Im really really struggling with. Wish I could get some relief. I’m glad I’m not alone in this though
Your not !
I get excited when other men give me attention and I’m worried that I like it. I feel like such a bad person
I think thats not rocd
Thats for you joyce pacheco
@ Lauren ....why do you feel bad about that? You should enjoy it...and If I was your man, I'd enjoy that you enjoy it!
It is rocd.
Same 😭
I am scared I might fall in love with someone else😭
That’s pretty immature lol you sound 14
Me too. When some other guy likes me, or when I like some guy us a person I think that I love that guy and not my boyfriend and that I need to be with that other guy :(
@Kate whit how did deal with that ?
Hi.. how do you feel now one year later? Hope you don’t mind that I ask..
i'm always so scared that i'll end up falling in love with my friends
I fear going back to work because I found some people attractive and I fear hurting my man
Don’t avoid feel the feelings you don’t have to act on them. Avoidance will make it worse practise feeling uncomfortable. Use this as a way to heal. OCD makes feelings extra intense so it’s hard but by doing the work this will pass. I used to say to myself even if I am turned on or attracted or cheat on my partner I will be able to cope and live with it( this feels uncomfortable to say) but after a long time it began to help or I would be sarcastic with the feelings xx
What an insane comment. I stumbled across this video as I've had three partners cheat on my and I often spend literal days having anxiety attacks trying to understand why people cannot be faithful. It makes no sense why you would do this to someone else or feel this way.
@@ThePhilapplicationit’s apart of an obsessive, compulsive and intrusive thought pattern. You really shouldn’t be in these comments bc what you’re saying could make peoples anxieties worse. Go somewhere else.
@@sheajohnson7037perfect way to put it
I don’t think you understand how much your videos are helping me right now. I’m so glad and so thankful that you’re doing this really!! I feel so much better watching your videos my anxiety calms down so much. Thank you so so so so much really your videos are very very helpful!! I really appreciate it!!!
i cried watching this. I have been postponing watching this video for weeks in case this was just another compulsion, i think i did the right thing. I thought i was alone in this and felt so unworthy and wrong for feeling and thinking most of the things you said here. I'm so thankful for you, for this video and this amazing community (including you from the awaken into love team!) thank you for helping so much and offering free information about these topics
Same here except I waited two years until now it’s the worst this obsession has been
This was so helpful I bursted out into tears when you said “you have power” I have allways felt so alone with this
So is a fear of cheating part of ROCD ? If so I never knew, I’ve always had a fear that I will cheat on my partner and that honestly scares me
Yes it is
I’ve keep thinking that I cheated on my partner all the time but I can’t put It through my mind like I can’t remember and it makes me feel so guilty
@@hollismithers I have the same thing
I've had this thought twice, and I got legit scared (especially the first time). Cause everytime something like this pops up in my head, it feels as if I wanna act on it. Even though I know I don't want to and would never do something like this. That feeling of "what if I act on it?" Or "do I wanna act on it" makes me really nervous and scared. Is this normal?
You're not alone, every time I felt the slightest attraction for other person, I get scared I will ever cheat on my SO
This is GOLD
You're so brilliant, I'm so happy I found your channel.. I hope one day you'll start a channel on spotify as well, with podcasts ecc ♥️ sending love to everyone who's struggling
Hi Elena, thank you so much for being grateful to Kiyomi's work. By the way, we always want to improve our content & help you as much as possible with Awakening into Love. Could you let us know if which part do you like most about it? Also, Kiyomi will be creating podcasts on iTunes and Spotify in the future, stay tuned! :) -regards, Crystal, Operations Manager, Awaken into Love
Thank you for cleaning the mess going on in my mind! Thank you do talking about this stuff and awakening us all!
Hi Catia, thank you so much for being grateful to Kiyomi's work. We're glad this video has been helpful for you. By the way, we always want to improve our content & help you as much as possible with Awakening into Love. Could you let us know if which part do you like most about it? -Crystal, Awaken into Love
Thank you so much for this! I needed this today 💜
Thank you soo much all these videos are really helpful ❤️💕
We get to question the thoughts we are told/ tell ourselves. Thank you! This is helpful ❤ Just found your channel and instantly subscribed
This came at the right time- it’s almost like you knew what’s been going on in my life. Thank you.
Omg!! Thinking about that too!!
Hi, thank you so much for being grateful to Kiyomi's work. By the way, we always want to improve our content & help you as much as possible with Awakening into Love. Could you let us know if which part do you like most about it? -Crystal, Awaken into Love
I have been watching this video since a year of my suffering. She was my saviour but it's surely hard to fight everyday.
This comment section didn't pass the vibe check :( everyone looking for reassurance and giving reassurance to others, guys, please don't do this, you'll never get better that way
Compulsion is inevitable but I hope for them to recover soon
You make me think better
Girl. Literally everything you say applies to my symptoms of ROCD. I haven't seen any videos or articles that are THIS reliable. Thank you. 🥺 also, is there a type of OCD involving insults towards to partner within your mind 24/7?
I feel u too
You truly do Gods work with your videos Kiyomi!!!!
Good job Kiomi :)
Please do a video about big change in life like getting married, having children, moving out that create anxiety and make you doubt everything at the point you feel disconnected..
happens to me all the time..would love to see that too
Yes I'm moving this summer and yes I'm happy but since then I keep asking myself questions like... If you dont love him anymore or that it won't work or that you're going to leave before you move or sometimes I think about my old relationship of seven years and I keep asking myself if I had the ROCD during the whole relationship because I ended up leaving him I didn't like him anymore I think I convinced myself too much and now I'm afraid that it's going to happen again with my man and I don't want it to. I want to heal it's so hard, especially when you know that it's going to happen no matter who you're going to be with...
Lorraine Corbin Omg that actually just happened to me! I just got married, moved states, and got a new job and feel sooooo disconnected from my partner and everything else. It’s sooo difficult.
Maggie K I'm so sorry for you that you're going through this. I think we're too insecure and we're projecting too much into the future instead of the present. We imagine the worst scenarios. Anxiety is a monster. It makes us think the worst... We're able to heal. I believe in you. One day at a time.
I think she has done that already. Look through her videos
Thank you! 🙏💕
Hi Sienna, thank you so much for being grateful to Kiyomi's work. By the way, we always want to improve our content & help you as much as possible with Awakening into Love. Could you let us know if which part do you like most about it? -Crystal, Awaken into Love
Most of these comments triggered me and i regret reading them.
You ok ? Hope your alright 👍🏻
@@heatherstirling6008 yes, thank you. Hope your okay as well
MeagerMoon thank you 😊
thank you i will no longer look at the comments
@@BruMonger np
Love your channel thank you so much for your help
Hi Melissa, thank you so much for being grateful to Kiyomi's work. By the way, we always want to improve our content & help you as much as possible with Awakening into Love. Could you let us know if which part do you like most about it? -Crystal, Awaken into Love
All of it her compassion and just knowing there are other out there that have the same thing she makes it so easy to understand one thing can a married rocd one be done where you are married have have been for a while and it suddenly creeps in please
@@mellissaolhill1290 Thank you so much Melissa, we really appreciate your feedback. Kiyomi will be so happy when she'll read your comment. Again, thank you and have a great Friday! -regards, Crystal, Awaken into Love
Thank you!
Hi Natalie, thank you so much for being grateful to Kiyomi's work. By the way, we always want to improve our content & help you as much as possible with Awakening into Love. Could you let us know if which part do you like most about it? -Crystal, Awaken into Love
Hi, 2019 was a really troubling year, the constant doubts and break up thoughts was just runining my day to day life for a whole year! but now i still get the doubts but it dont bother me as much and i dnt do my rituals such as researching or asking questions to other people to check, whay does dis mean??!! please repsond, am i getting better or?
THAT SOUNDS GREAT! sounds like you‘re changing your thought / habitual pattern yo !
2019 was a tough year for me too. but for a little while now, i‘ve been less and less sensitive to my usual ROCD-ic thoughts, which means my trauma is slowly healing itself.
you‘re healing, keep it up !
Thank you❤️
Another thing people keeps saying is that when you found someone else you love
you should leave your partner
This is their belief your aloud your own you don’t have to believe this ❤️
beautiful! thank you...could you possibly do a video/post about ROCD while in first relationship? It is truly so so much harder having ROCD and also being in your first relationship :/
KawaiiStudioO I know how you’re feeling you’re not alone. I always get thoughts around it
Same I’m in my first mutually serious relationship and it’s scary love involves a lot of risk and it freaks us out but we got this!
She did already
Hi KawaiiStudio, thank you so much for being grateful to Kiyomi's work. We will note your topic suggestion and we understand that ROCD can be difficult but please know you're not alone and there is hope. By the way, we always want to improve our content & help you as much as possible with Awakening into Love. Could you let us know if which part do you like most about it? -Crystal, Awaken into Love
same, we’re serious and i love her so much but my brain keeps doing this to me making me feel guilty all the time
Thank you so much :( 💝
My ROCD starts when I meet some other guy and he shows interest in me, or when some guy is really good to me then I always think that I am in love with that guy and not my fiance. Then I start fantasize about that other guy and I think that I am not happy that I need to be with that other guy because when you feel atracted to someone you need to be with that person. I start to think that I am with a wrong guy, that the other guy is right for me. That makes me crazy because I value love and I love my fiance and don't want to hurt him. I become obssesed with that other guy and I feel like that guy is part of me and that he is some demon that is ruining me. Also I think that I am a bad person, that I can't love one person for the rest of my life, that I won't be good wife, that I don't deserve my fiance.
Omg this is soooo me!!! It’s driving me crazy. It’s like if a guy doesn’t show interest in fine, but as soon as they do it triggers me “like did I do something to make him think I like him” then that turns into “maybe I like him”. Now I’ve got another man in my head for no reason!!!
We’ll know truth and let your man know
@@BiancaFox i feel you. For some time I don't have anyone in my head except my fiance but then some man become like a part of me and it drives me crazy. I told my fiance, he knows about my ocd and he helps me but everytime I think that this time is different, that I love this new guy. I wasn't confident in myself before, now I am, but I think that this come from a long time of thinking that I don't look good, that men don't like me and as soon someone is interested in me I feel better and start fantasize.
@@BiancaFox And I know that this is ROCD but I know that when I am ok, but as soon as something triggers me, I forget everything about ROCD and think that is real.
@@magdalenamamic308 I know how you feel, just keep choosing your fiancé mentally, emotionally and any way you can to just cling to him. It’s good you talked to him about so he can help you through it, and that takes the edge off.
I feel like I’ve been attracted to other men.. which never really happened to me before my ROCD got worse again... I wanna stay inside all the time bc I am scared... 😞 I wanna be with my partner so badly.. I feel like a lier saying that..... 😞😞
Aw honey I feel the same I feel guilty and horrible all the time 💪🏻💪🏻
Amanda MCcracken how are you 😊
I’m getting there it’s very proponent don’t know if you ever feel turned on by other males or it makes you feel like you want them you have the choice it’s so upsetting but you will get there disregard always here if you need a friend 😊💪🏻
Sorry I thought you replied to me 😂😂😊
Not to give you reasurance but its not actual atteaction; its fear. You just find them attractive but not attracted just like those with pocd fear theyre attracted to children. Hope it helps
6:27 yes it’s normal but knowing it’s normal doesn’t make me feel any better. I know I love my boyfriend so these images bother me and sometimes I don’t want to go to work over it and I want to avoid men at all costs
Update : I legit got scared to death I was falling for a coworker I tried so hard to avoid him. I’m still shaken right now and can’t seem to tell my partner anything yet because I feel he’ll lose trust in me and leave me. I’ve been crying because I can’t tell him. I don’t even know this dude!!!! I don’t even know his name and all I did was think he was “good looking” and I became a panicking nutcase and I tried to hit up my boyfriend and follow him around because I really need his hugs and not have these thoughts
How did you cope with this? I have a similar fear
@@DieStreetify you don’t cope. You just start compulsions like walk away or avoid making eye contact with the person you find attractive just to avoid possibly hurting or leaving your partnet
@@Angie_bae tell your partner, it helps!!! Only if you feel you can totally trust him. I had to tell mine about his best friend and he understands. I by no means am attracted to his friend or want him in anyway but his friend has always come onto me and makes me feel uncomfortable and makes me think I’ve been doing something to make him like me. But once I talked to my fiancé about it, it calmed so much of the anxieties and even brought us closer.
in the same position rn, I'm anxious and depressed because of this
I think you should talk to your partner about you having rocd. Introduce him to it, then maybe when you start to feel more comfortable talking about rocd with him tell him about your themes. You're struggling with mental health, your partner will be understanding.
i used to get crushes really easily (when a guy is nice to me and kind of good looking i thnk that i have w crush on them) now i know that that is not true and that i dont have a crush on every guy i meet. But now i have the fear that i never liked my bf when i know i do.
9:43 uh sometimes my thoughts are bad as 10, but I don’t wanna do the thought personally but I still think it
How are you today???
So I’m having a hard time on a bachelorette trip right now I was having fears that I would cheat with a random dude or one of the girls I came with even though I’ve never cheated and I’m not into girls. I got really drunk the first night and ended up asking on of the girls if she had a thing for me in the past idk why I thought she did the next morning I was freaking out bc I couldn’t remember what we said and she said she just said I was pretty but that I didn’t come on to her or was flirty but that I was touchy with all the girls but girls do get like that when they are drunk but I am convincing myself that we flirted and that I wanted to hook up even though she said nothing like that happened and there was so sexual vibe and I’m not into her but I am convinced I wanted something to happen even though I don’t want to hook up with anyone. Could this be a false memory? I also told my bf about the situation but said there were no feelings bc I truly don’t have feelings but I feel like I lied to him bc of my doubts. Please give me some advice
What if you already have cheated in the past on your partner? I was having obsessive thoughts that id kiss someone else, and i got drunk one night and just did it to test if i could do it. My partner forgave me. But I'm scared I'll do it again as i still want to.
This sounds like self sabotage in my opinion. You’re scared you’ll hurt them and your thoughts scare you. So you wanted to know if you were actually capable of hurting them. However self fulfilled prophecies are a thing. If you think you’re a bad person. You’re likely to act that way to satisfy your feelings. As painful as the idea of being a cheater is. A lot of people also don’t want to acknowledge that their feelings have been irrational and they’ve been going through unnecessary pain. So they try to make it true. You aren’t a bad person. You did a bad thing because you felt like a bad person. It’s a big difference. I’d suggest therapy if you can to try and work through your feelings and help you
Oh my god! It’s like reading my own story, I went through exactly the same thing Bethany, I’m so sorry you’ve suffered too. OCD is a bitch
What is wrong with you? stop hurting people I don't get why that is so hard.
Can you please do a video on ROCD wondering if I got into a relationship “too soon,” if I’m not healed enough, if I want my ex back. I was in emotionally abusive relationships and most definitely do not want to be with my exes and especially not over my boyfriend but I have intrusive thoughts. I have many unhealed wounds but I work to not let them mess up my healthy relationship. However, I worry they will. I also feel guilty but sometimes I miss the ups and downs of a toxic relationship or feel unfamiliar in healthy love. I’m happy and desperately do not want to lose my partner. I have had OCD about many other things including “what if I cheated and don’t remember? What if he leaves me?” Also Ocd about things outside of my relationship. Please give advice on this. Thank you! PS. I had been single for about seven months before being with my boyfriend. My last ex did contact me about off and on between the end of November and the end of December and it did bring up some pain but ultimately I blocked him on the first of January and started dating my partner a few weeks later. But my ex and I never saw each other during that time (hadn’t in seven months before I got with my boyfriend) and we did not get back together. Like I said, all of my previous relationships were toxic and with narcissistic men.
This would definitely be a very interesting video to watch! I have asked myself that question too "Did I get into this relationship too soon?". And everything you said, I feel like that too.
EvE Hey, Eve! I think my ROCD has gotten tremendously better. I started a medicine for OCD. Also, I have been seeing a counselor. I also came to some revelations about my relationship. We have been together for four months now, and I’m falling more and more in love with him. I hope that encourages you. ❤️. I think the most important thing is that you won’t leave your current partner to go back to an ex. That would be painful. But if you want to be with your partner then you have nothing to worry about it seems like. I would just cut any contact with any ex if possible and focus on your relationship with your SO. Keep working on any unhealed wounds, but if he loves you and is patient then you will get through it together. That is the thing about healing, we don’t have to do it alone! I think society tells us we have to heal alone or that we have to be single for so and so amount of time. Just live how you want to, and if you have a partner who tries to help you and loves you, then you’re good to go. I wish you the best. ❤️
Daysha Butler this gives me so much hope, thank you
I’ve been there!!!!!!!!! Yup💯 and then it escalated to “will I cheat?”
Just had a little relapse, can anyone help when I constantly worry about attraction and the future with my girlfriend.
Just remember that the feeling of attraction isn’t always present but that doesn’t mean you don’t find ur gf attractive. You wouodnt be worried if you didn’t care about them so do not worry. You watching these videos shows that you care abt your girlfriend. I get scared I’m not attracted to my current gf either but I know I love them witu all my heart and they’re beautiful. Focus on the positive it’ll be okay
She looks like Angel❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤
I got acquainted with friend, and I have more fun with him than with my partner. and lately I have been constantly thinking about this friend, recently I wanted to kiss him. Now when I spend time with my partner I constantly think about this friend, this is ruining the relationship, i am so afraid, what should I do?
How are you now???
You don’t have to cheat ladies, just talk to me, I’ll listen.
What about obsessions about fear of become violent with your bf and viceversa?
I feel so alone because i think i am the only one with this thought
ohhh i‘ve been through that too. whereas with me, i tend to apologize for if i have a hurt him in the past. we all fume sometimes when we‘re mad.
we have to see that our partner and ourselves don‘t have a pattern of domestic violence in the first place.
we have to see the relationship as it is and don‘t live in the „what if i hurt my partner“ „what if my partner hurts me“.
and honestly, this might sound bad, but it‘s all up to you or your partner if any act of violence pops up and how you deal with it when it happens.
you and your partner have a choice.
note that there‘s a difference between domestic violence and one-time-anger
sometimes things get physical without anyone wanting it to because the frustration‘s so big
@@catlaine You're right but I get obsessed about it because both he and I are violent with words sometimes when we fight and I wouldn't want those words to materialize into physical violence one day
@@666redrum88 as long as you know that you COULD get violent, you can get it under control and try to manage your anger better and even improve your understanding of a situation or person for the better. this is a chance to improve your anger and not let rule your life
@@catlaine but i know very well that i would NEVER get violent with my bf,i will never become
I just obsess a little about him becoming violent hahaha
In addition ever since I've been obsessing over this thing I see "domestic violence" written everywhere hahaha
How can we change attachment style in Rocd?
What about if you have actually cheated, crippled by guilt
i feel like a horriblr person for these thoights. id never cheat and never have before and neber will. the man i have is very amazing i dont ever think cheating is an option and i would neber do it idkk why i get these random thoughts id never cheat on the lovvw of my life....
Is there anyone here who was cheated on and developed ROCD symptoms afterwards? I had the symptoms before, but now they are much worse after I was cheated on. Does anyone else have the same problem?
YANA❤
YANA love ❤❤
You r looking pretty😄
Your words are very familiar to me. I remember, that i have had a girlfriend when i was 10. I have went to theater with my family, and i have saw another girl there. The feeling was very strange for me, but i have felt, i cheat my girlfriend. I have not liked that girl, but i have thought, "it is forbidden to see another girl, i am a bad person". I have began to cry, and my family didn't understand that.The situation is very similar now, 20 years later. I have a wonderful girlfriend, but when i see a very attractive woman in the street, i begin to ruminating, that it is forbidden to me to find another girl attractive, and what if i don't love my girlfriend? And why do i think, that this strange woman is more attractive than my girlfriend? I practice ERP, and your words helped me a lot. Sorry for my grammar, i am a beginner in English :D
Is it normal to feel urges to cheat as well or is it genuinely disinterested really wanting to cheat?
Urges are common i think
I've never in my life felt the urge to cheat on a SO. In fact I've had my heart shattered three times due to being the one getting cheated on. I seriously do not understand you people and I'm sorry it makes me sick to my stomach some days trying to understand how people can not be faithful.
Ma'am u are so beautiful ❤️😻
I need some serious help whenever I imagine my bf with another girl in a romantic sense I feel nothing and I’ve been crying a lot bc of it. I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to leave him I just wish I was in love with him again. Does this mean I don’t love him? Because I don’t know if I do anymore and I feel super upset. (Also idk if I have relationship ocd/anxiety I just seriously need some help)
maybe you are polygamous?
as you say you’ve been crying a lot over it it means you still care and love him in my opinion because you are worrying
@@sumire.6347 I doubt it, I used to get upset when I thought of my partner being w another girl but ever since the “honeymoon” phase went away I don’t get upset, I feel nothing. I don’t want to be poly either I want to be able to love my bf again.
@@maddiepookiepoo You do love him. It’s s the ROCD. It’s a common thing to analyse and not feel anything while you struggle with ROCD. Be kind to yourself😃
I got triggered tonight with a movie on netflix and just came from one of kiyomis videos of why rocd feels so real and i regret reading a comment about a person who wants to have sex with everyone but has to accept that abt himself so that he doesnt have rocd and i cannot tell you.....how much.....it fucking ruined this evening for me.....even more....im not shaming anyone but the fact that theres people like that makes me so much more fearful abt the thought that ill cheat or something or that im a cheater and dont know it, i wanna fucking die
You aren’t alone i feel guilty I feel like a cheat, more horrible ones is when you feel it’s good, or that you want it or when you don’t feel guilt it’s worse and when you don’t have anxiety it feels like ok I am a bad person then but you aren’t you are a human even if you feel an urge to cheat it’s alright you have ocd and it tricks us to believe we don’t it wants to keep you stuck you won’t be forever I’m here !!💪🏻💪🏻
@@heatherstirling6008 its nice of you to try and make me feel like im not alone but plz dont bc you kind of triggered me, so plz delete your comment
MeagerMoon it’s good to be triggered it helps you overcome your challenge and it makes you stronger 💪🏻how have I triggered you ?😊
MeagerMoon maybe try watching this ua-cam.com/video/znhW6k_maao/v-deo.html 👍🏻
Mine is more I feel happy about cheating does this mean I want to? As I don't want to at the same time
This is insane to me reading this. I came this video as I have a massive fear of being cheated on as I've had it happen from 3 partners. I'm sorry but you should avoid relationships if you have feelings like that. I seriously don't understand you people in these comments.
@@ThePhilapplicationshut up please, it's different for everyone
4:19👍👍
Whoa
Ok, I get everything you say. But, what if, even if I’m in love with my partner, I really WANT to have an affair with another person I find attractive?
Hi how are you 🙌
Recognise the “what if” also the feeling of want is a way of ocd trying to pull you in and keep you stuck and it’s another way to create fear and guilt within you 💪🏻
One thing I want to understand that a relationship is two persons bonding, trusting each other, loving each other. If I find someone attractive and think or want to have sex with her is not cheating but it's the first step of cheating like firing a grill for cooking. After all our action is driven by what we think or what I want to do. If I don't do what I think or what I want to do is cheating with myself.
The conclusion is we have lost our morality we can't stay loyal with our partners and we are becoming like animals, just found someone attractive, have sex with him or her, spend sometime with the person and after sometime we jump to other person. Yes it is hurting but we are animals.
Im sorry but how do you write this comment under a post with people who suffer from anxiety and mental health. Ocd IS A DISORDER PEOPLE CLEARLY DON'T WANT TO DO IT. Don't post shit like this under a post with a lot of triggered people.
7:45
8:10
9:41
The nails...