5 Relationship Myths That Are Hurting You (Relationship OCD)
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
- There's a lot of BS out there on relationships which end up HURTING us. These statements can make ROCD worse (if we let it).
Throughout 12+ years of doing this work and working with thousands of you, we've learned what hurts us, and what helps us.
As always, nothing in life is black or white. If these statements have previously helped you, then good. But if it's hurting you, it's time to investigate further.
Myth #1
If the relationship doesn't make you happy, you should leave.
Myth #2
If your partner has different beliefs or views, then leave.
Myth #3
If you aren't liking your partner, you probably outgrew them.
Myth #4
The perfect partner won't take work.
Myth #5
Listen only to your feeling with love, it knows.
RESOURCES:
» WEBSITE: AWAKENINTOLOVE.COM
» INSTAGRAM: / withawakenintolove
» ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: rocdcourse.com/the-checklist
» ROCD 2.0 COURSE & COMMUNITY: rocdcourse.com/
» PARTNERS OF ROCD MASTERCLASS: rocdcourse.com/partnersofrocd...
» WORK WITH ALEXIS: www.awakenintolove.com/coachi...
Disclaimer: All of the information listed in this channel is for informative, motivational, educational purposes only. If you are specifically looking for a licensed and professional therapist then you are welcome to work with our therapist, if not, we will refer you to someone else. Please note that this channel is not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder but serves only as education and motivation.
Everyone needs to see this! Not just people with OCD. That's why OCD can be a blessing (in some ways hahaha) - cos it leads us to wisdom. Thanks Kiyomi :)
It's pandemic time. M away from him for 6 months now.... I have all these symptoms and it's like my mind is hating him for his small mistakes. It's like my mind wants him to make mistakes so I need to breakup. He is such a good guy, not everyone is perfect but all the good things are getting blurry and my mind is highlighting only the bickering and argument and all the things society has told me. And my past effects me too. I don't want to hate him. M afraid of hating him and not feeling anything.
Holy crap thank you so so so much for pointing out the whole “if you aren’t happy you should leave” thing because that has played a HUGE part in my ROCD lately. I had been struggling with this thought for almost two months. I would obsess over it and just cry and cry. It was a whole downward spiral. Luckily tho, I am doing a whole lot better now. Just to hear it stated that I won’t always be 100% satisfied helped me a ton and I really hope it helps other people too.
I have cried for a month every night, every day. I used to break down on the dinning table, I was going through something I haven't gone through before and like others I also thought is my brain signaling towards the end? but something kept me going maybe because I have a perfect partner who always trusts me and she believes we'll come out of this phase together. I am blessed to find out what I go through has a name and I am not the only one. All I want to do with this comment is to empower people going through the same phase and give a massive shoutout to all the supportive partners out there. I never took anxiety for real but as we say. You understand it when it hurts you and I have surely understood what it means.
PS: Try that the dominant thought in your brain is you have a perfect partner and your brain is directing you towards something which is not meant for you.
We'll all will go past this phase. Cheers guys.
This is such a Godsend channel. I felt so alone and felt like I was going insane before. Now, I feel like I can understand better where all these thoughts and compulsions come from
I feel such a dumb when I watch your videos… How come a pretty mature person in their thirties goes like “Well, something doesn’t not feel 100% right in this relationship, I am gonna get the hell out of here, for no rational and specific reason”. But that’s me, folks!
So I've been having a hard time with the saying "it shouldn't be this hard." But because of my sever relationship anxiety ... I have heard that every times in all three of my relationships, from 16-29 yrs old... And yes sometimes my anxiety consumes me but these sayings just make it worse and harder for me and my partner to feel encouraged that we can get through a rough patch. Which, as someone who obsesses over the thought "oh no, if it's not supposed to be this hard, am I making the wrong decision. Can things never get better?!", it sort of prolongs the healing making that belief manifest itself...
Please talk about self sabotage in rocd? Or self sabotage in general?
Yes I feel like I’m literally ruining my relationship
I was constantly triggered when I was watching this video but thank you so much!
I literally love your UA-cam channel, I fell upon it last year around June 2018, while I was at my worst, just triggering my rocd for the first time and discovering what rocd was, getting therapy. I even joined your program for a few months until I had to quit my job. I never even knew what “accepting my thoughts” meant at the time. This channel has helped me so much and you have such a wonderful mindset. Please keep making more videos 💜
Did you experience hocd as well?
PLEASE DO A VIDEO ON ISOLATING YOURSELF BECAUSE OF FEAR OF FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE THANK U SOOO MUCH
Angelika Ferrara I feel you ☹️
IVE HAD THIS FOR MONTHS and i want you to know that the only thing that helped me was erp and you'll see that the thoughts will switch very fast after doing erp for a while. I still have rocd but it has gotten a lot better! You can do it!
@@catsinthekitchen3 thank you sm
Watching you has helped me big time. I’ve been scared about not being in love with my partner.. I’ve been testing myself for 10 years now. Been with my partner for 10 so this is the only relationship I’ve actually truly still care about completely. Lately I’ve been remembering the time when I doubts and hear the back of my mind say “ he’s not right for you” 😖
Now that my ROCD has been triggered badly I’ve been so obsessed I hear all theses thoughts saying he was never right for you move on... 😖 I am very attached to him so I don’t want to move on. I know I love him to death. I just hate hearing my brain saying you’re lying to him or your leading him on. I am scared it’s really me. But I know if it was I wouldn’t be obsessing so much over losing him 😢 I’m so glad to know I am not truly alone... 😭😭😭
I hope you doing ok these days. You are not alone
Thanks for another great video 😊
Thanks for this video, I'm super grateful for it ❤️
Needed this so much today💕
Soo well spoken 💜
Wow. Thank you so much for such wisdom.
Love how you present this information! I can see why so many people love your channel!
Wow, you posted this at such a good time! I needed this ❤️❤️
needed this! You continue to guide me through this. My go-to-source for all things rOCD. Thank you
Thank you so much! I love that your advice is not the conventional same ol' same ol'. Appreciate you!
I have OCD and you're helping me a lot . Thanks thanks thanks 🙏🏽
This is a great video! Thank you for your help!
I’m waiting for the second one about myths!)
Yes!!! Thank you. Many people do not understand what love is. This helps so much.
I just found your channel and I have to admit that you helped me a lot already! I know I have ROCD even if it is not diagnosed yet. This channed should have way more subscribers. You are great and I love your videos! Keep up this good work!
Kiyomi♥️ you are like my angel in this road 🙏🏻✨
I love this!! This video is so reassuring!!
Thank you so much for your videos! They've helped me SO much with ROCD and just understanding how true healthy relationships work! It's crazy how many lies society places on us about how a relationship should feel.
Wow! To draw the parallel of cancel culture is very profound! You are so wise.
Ive been having such a terrible rocd because of the first myth, because I felt a little bit disconnected and apatic for my partner, like, I wasn't feeling super enthusiastic or happy100% 24/7 with them like always and I thought that those feelings would last forever.. Ive been crying for almost a week. and now I feel like I realized that these moments are normal, and I feel so much better knowing that they will pass. so are these feelings normal?
So normal
Reality is subjective, and not everything is black and white - even objectivity has some subjectivity to it. That's why it's so important to heal what's going on within ourselves instead of just trying to force the external world to change - heal your internal world, and you will see it reflected in the external world. ^~^ You have the power within you! . * . * .* .
No wonder I love this woman.
All I want to know is where do you get your clothes ?! There's all so cute!!!
How do you fix thing after ROCD makes you guys take break? What do you do when ROCD is on both sides?
Hi I have ROCD and I have just found out I am actually attached to my partner now I’m stressing because I read some articles which said you’re not in love if you’re attached. Now I’m anxious because I don’t know if I am in love or just attached. Can it be both? If so how can I tell? Sorry I’m stressing so much
I completely understand bc I worry about this too. I’ve been with my partner for 10 years. So I am super attached to him but I believe if you didn’t truly love your partner you wouldn’t have this attachment. I hope this helps. That’s why it’s not good to read articles online. They can really harm your mind. Right now I’m struggling badly myself. My friend told me this. That if you didn’t truly love him you wouldn’t be here right now. You wouldn’t cry or obsess the way you do. I believe her bc she is saying the exact thing this wonderful woman is saying right now that love is a choice. No matter what your mind says no matter what those thoughts are making you feel hang in there.
@@ReshiramMage1992 this is such a lovely reply. I loved reading it and I also agree!
Hi! I just want to let you know that because we are human we will always form attachments! Attachment is not independent of love! Articles can be super helpful, but I definitely recommend peer reviewed scientific articles over articles like psychologytoday. Also, keep in mind that psychology is not a one size fits all science! Humans are too complex for that, so just because you see someone online say this is how you should feel bc psychology, it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily true for you! I hope this was helpful!
hello, my partner has recently cut his hair and looks terrible (we've been dating for 2 years), I fell in love with another guy, what should I do, my anxiety is very strong
True
That helped
umm who is that one person who disliked this ???
Plz add subtitles of what u say... I find it difficult to understand ur accent
😭💕💕😭
To the statement "if the relationship doesn't make you happy, you should leave", you say "this is an extremely black and white statement" but the fact of saying juste after "in relationships we'll feel many times not at 100% satisfied" is in itself also extreme (like the "black and white" vision) because there are levels of dissatisfaction and your statement is very general and doesn't include the shades of this dissatisfaction