How To Attract An INTJ (Romantic Deep Dive)
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- This video explains the top 3 things to know when attracting an INTJ for a romantic relationship.
INTJ Explains 5 Reasons Why We're Single:
• INTJ Explain 5 Reasons...
INTJ Cognitive Function Love Story:
• INTJ Cognitive Functio...
00:00 Introduction
01:17 Does Looks Matter?
03:43 Video Outline
04:13 Section 1: Show Us The Real You
11:33 Section 2: Persistence & Patience
24:43 Section 3: Be Understanding
31:03 Conclusion
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A video of how to attract an INTJ and most audience are INTJ themselves trying to figure out why anyone would want to date us😂
😅
Bullseye
you got me! lol
I'll take an Angela to my Dwight any day.
Try an INFJ or a SIGMA Female
I've ghosted more people than I can count for being fake and/or predicting red flags. Sure, I hate being lonely, who doesn't. But it's pointless to let myself get into a situation that I'm not comfortable in or can't see the potential.
I agree! I prefer to be alone instead of engaging with someone that I don't see a future with.
... and they are always so puzzled, why we would ghost a person who ticked all the social value items just for being "too slick", or "it wasn't going to work" (when they crossed one of our core, unchangeable values that we aren't going to discuss). Nothing is lonelier than being in committed proximity to someone who isn't really with us.
INTJs are the true definition of Sigma.
I love the way you phrase that, "Nothing is lonelier than being in committed proximity to someone who isn't really with us."
each one would exhaust a chapter in an ongoing series, not simply a standalone book, of 'people who are fuck that can't even get any fucks given about them'
each one would need a whole season dedicated to them, like in cobra kai, and even then they could return after decades for a sequel beatdown....
21:00
"Huh... That was a weird interaction..."
3 Days Later...
"OMFG SHE WAS FLIRTING"
Yep, been there too.
Happens way too often 😅
i have already created rules to recognise flirting. e.g.: if someone only talks without any real content, then it is most likely flirting... (i used to not understand why people wanted to talk to me without me feeling an intellectual connection. hint: it's because of my body, not my personality). 🤮
Get this shit ALOT like people think I am an entj sometimes n it's just annoying but I am young maybe I am just arrogant
hahaha. 😂
conversely, me INFP with an INTJ…
“Huh… that was weird. I thought we were just going to hang out, why was he talking about multiple examples of other couples he knew who found each other in weird ways”
3 Days Later…
OMFG HE LIKES ME
I married a INTJ. The first few months in the relationship he already proposed to me, I'm an ENTP. We are in our 15th year of our relationship now 💕
Congrats on finding yourself an INTJ and 15 years of marriage ❤
I'm an INTJ and my wife is an ENFP. 😅 we've been together a decade! 🍻
INFJ married to INTJ 24 years next month. I love it, he's wonderful😊
As an INTJ woman, I feel naked. This is too true and accurate. And my alarm bell in my head is screaming now: "this can be used against you!!!"
Let's look at it from the other perspective, this can open doors for you as well from people who would've stopped after the first time you didn't respond to their text 🙂
Understandable but at a the same time if an individual invested his time to learn more about our personality , means they are really trying ❤.
Ammunition. I hate giving it to an unknown quantity.
😂 my exact feeling, I'm just learning about this and it's blowing my mind how accurate it is 😅
In case you're wondering how oblivious INTJ's can be when it comes to someone showing interest in us, I present to you:
My coworker, referring to someone i was working next to for two hours: "OMG, she was SO flirting with you!"
Me, an INTJ: "Who?"
So relatable 😂
I remember a group of girls came inside my job and sort of huddled up in front of the door walking slowly and whatnot. Of course, I didn't stare or think much of it because people are weird. But my older coworker (50-60) said they thought I was cute while smirking to herself. I can never tell
😂 Guilty! I ALWAYS assume it’s platonic. Im 55 and still do.
well... realistically | pragmatically, ignoring co-workers regarding alike my well be life-saving mitigation strategy.
Wow, as a female INTJ, I can say you really nailed it from the female INTJ perspective as well. Really well done.
Glad to hear that it resonates! Also, love your profile picture 😂
@@justcallmejon22 thanks 😂
Like! I felt defined and explained. 😂
As an INTJ I suffered from the usual social awkwardness and a lack of confidence in social situations. In order to overcome feeling or appearing vulnerable in public, I studied body language and acting for several years. I was able to develop a friendlier, open public persona which I employed to attract and evaluate potential mates (and friends) while revealing little. The chosen few who were perceptive enough to notice and patient enough to find out more were my people. This method was highly effective in vetting others with minimal drama and emotional risk. I successfully married and have a wonderful family as a result.
Congrats on finding your forever person and starting a family! Some people will never understand how patient you need to be to fully 'see' an INTJ and I'm glad to hear that you found someone who was willing to endure the struggle ✊
@@justcallmejon22 Thanks. My person turned out to be an INTP which we both discovered years later is a great match. My twenty-something kids are both INTJs and haven't found their person yet. Finding friends can be hard enough. Searching for a special someone who is able to understand and connect with an INTJ is like mining for rare gems. It takes a lot of time, patience and more than a little luck to sift through all that rock. So good luck to the INTJs out there still looking for love. Don't give up. Your gem is out there!
Same story here
Wow. I love learning that I'm not alone on some things as being an INTJ I always felt so different and weird so love when I learn I'm not the only on something.
I did the same as you and started studying body language and psychology (not acting though although I should have now that I think about it). When I tell people that I did that to learn how to interact better and make friends they always give me a look like I'm the weirdest person ever lol. I suppose I am a bit weird but reading that someone else did the same makes me feel better about it.
+ taking shrooms and lsd can help too, stay in front of mirror and practice like a.h.
INTJs must be able to foresee a sustainable future with someone before they'll commit. Patience & persistence are key. Don't press before they're ready. Once in, they're all in.
I’m an ENFP and I met an INTJ, sure he likes his space but he’s not emotionally distant.
It takes an evolved ENFP to understand that they appreciate being told what you like and don’t and if you don’t mind asking for affection, you’ll love INTJs cuz they learn all about you and if they’re into you, you’d be surprised about how much they care and the smallest of gestures. They express through everything but words so you have to be super observant and you’ll melt like butter.
Congrats on finding an INTJ! I appreciate that you noticed his love language, acts of service. Lots of people don't take the time to acknowledge it so I'll say it for him, Thank you for noticing 😁
It's nice to hear that someone can love and understand those small details about an INTJ 😢 I hope I can find someone like that someday
As an INFJ the "not responding right away" i can relate so much, it feels like a chore when we arent in our right mindset to answer. We don't do it on purpose but being social is work, we get tired after, we need to mentally recharge and can totally relate to not answering right away.
I tried explaining that to my ESFP brother and he did not understand. Words are powerful and they have so much meaning, I don't want to do anyone unjustice but not responding correctly or at least in the correct mindset 🙃
INTJ’s seem cold and aloof externally, but nothing could be further from the truth..although they may not show their emotions they can be quite emotional because of their Fi (heart of gold).
shhhh, some of us don't want people to know 🙃
@@justcallmejon22 ENFP know ALREADY! I see INTJ woman crying behind the blank Zoom screen. I know she's got tears rolling down cheek. She comes back onscreen like nothing happened. I see right through it!
I cry at the Moana song not gonna lie.
Hi I’m an INTJ and I almost cried twice during this video because I feel seen. I ended a long term relationship because the trust was completely broken, and the worst part was how violated I felt because I had opened myself up emotionally to them, only to have them betray me in the end. It has prevented me from being able to even entertain dating since, and it’s been almost 3 years. Ok, so I did end up crying. It’s just nice to hear my internalized thoughts properly voiced.
Thank you for telling your story and it sucks to hear how it ended. I can personally relate as it's been a few years for myself as well. Take all the time you need to recover and don't forget to put yourself out there when you're ready. Unless you want to, not all INTJs need to be the crazy cat/dog person 😅
Hello? This is like exactly my situation, down to the years.
You are so precious!!! God bless you!!!
I'm really sorry you taste this type experience :( as an INFP I was in a lot of toxic relationships, so I understand the feeling, but I can tell you that one day you are gonna met somebody who is gonna give you what you need and want ❤️ that happen to me, and ironically it's an INTJ
... you're able to cry as an INTJ?! xD :p
Agreed, fake will get you ignored. People dont realize how transparent they are, please dont do that, just be you. I can be ok with lots of traits, just not hiding things from me, and nothing goes deeper than who you rely are.
💯
as an Enfp who's into lots of strange fandom proshippery shenanigans, someone accepting me is honestly just what I look for but I had bad experiences with antis and ex-friends, man 😔That's part of why I don't stray from saying I'm into weird crap to get it out there and be honest, test the waters
As an INTJ, I stare mostly at people and analyze them to know their personality. Just like Sun Tzu says "Know yourself and the enemy". (By meaning of "enemy" doesn't mean the root of conflict, but to understand the other person)
My ENFJ friend once told me that I analyze people too much and I told him I have to or I won't know how to function 😂
Hi Everyone!
It's only been a day since I released this video and it's one of the better performing videos on my channel! I'm so glad to see that you are all enjoying it because I was afraid that nobody would want to watch a video at this length. My original edit was over an hour long so I had to remove a few content which I'll probably address in later videos. It's also always nerve wrecking talking about INTJ and emotions because each person feels emotions differently that I hope I didn't alienate anyone for saying something that is unrelatable. I hope you all know that my content is based mostly on my personal truth and it's okay if it's different from yours.
Thanks you all for the support! I really appreciate it ❤
- Jon
it was in my recommended
meanwhile, on the xsxj's recommended: 😑😶🏀🎂🪁📠🧾🖱️🪙🧸
I think your viewers are probably mostly INTJ's, INFP's, INFJ's and ENFP's. We are all down for long videos - information is our cocaine :)
@@shellbell8062 these are the weidos i befriend + the intps. 😊
i especially liked the part about emotions. straight to the point. this is probably the part of an intj that is most misunderstood.
I'm a female INTJ and my INFJ boyfriend (5yrs together already) are really best-friends with unexpected romantic moments, but also once in a year we get a big misunderstanding with a lot of frustration, so we both think the other one is stuckborn and unempathic/aggressive (me) or dramatic/hypersensitive (boyfriend) as hell. In the end, when each of us had spent enough time reflecting by himself, we both can talk some days after silence calmly and understand each other without any problems. Its like clashing and declashing and having this "aha"-moments after all, why did it take us this long to understand each other, seems to be that simple after all
It sounds like a very healthy relationship ❤
I am an INTJ in a relationship with an INFJ male and the same thing happens! The funny thing is when we argue on a trip he always remembers the situation fondly! ?!?!
@@justcallmejon22 Unfortunately, we just had a fight about politics and although he misunderstood and attacked me he is now offended and punishes me with silent treatment. I wanted to clarify it and approached him, but he says he thinks we are too different. Lol. That was always the charm. I am annoyed, have asked what he wants to say with it, that we are therefore separate. He should please call I didn't want to argue in writing, just personal clarifications. Since then: no contact. I am annoyed.
I'm an INTJ female with an INFJ mother. It's the same except in place of romance, it's admiration. The usual clashing is between me: Te-Fi (apathy and disconnect to an INFJ) and my mom: Fe-Ti (manipulation and vengeful to an INTJ). I can tell you as an INTJ daughter of an INFJ mother, it pisses her off when my independence is an obstacle to her mothering. As a toddler, it was precocious to her, not so much when I got older.
INTJ female with an INFJ mother as well. We got along great (she passed)! Until the Te-Fi/Fe-Ti clash. It takes a lot of communication to get through those clashes. The reason I think it can work (if both are healthy) though is because we both secretly NEED to share Se and can really enjoy that together. And, we are both fortunate to have Ni which allows us to see another’s perspective and we have thinking and feeling in the middle 2 slots which makes them more balanced.
I found out midway through our relationship that my ex would completely change her opinions to suit whoever was around her, while simultaneously looking down on most people as sheep. I’ve never been more turned off in my entire life.
I'm fine with someone switching sides to keep harmony but it goes against my Fi to look down on people. Sounds like you dodged a bullet ✊
@@justcallmejon22 100%. I could understand if it was just to keep harmony. This was a bit different.
Sounds like a mirror type. And hypocrit. Was she INFJ?
I married one and have 3 INTJ best friends and close friends. I feel like they are the one who chase and trap me lol. I dunno why since I am very flawed and have a lot of personal tasks to overcome. However, I really appreciate it. They always wanna help and they are very fluffy. But not to other people. When an INTJ wants you around, they are smooth. Everything is accelerated but in a way that is stealthy. One time they are cool and distant, some time in your life, you spend most days with them and you's be like "Wait... when did this happen?"
I think we cling really hard to people we think are worth our time.
Yep
Once Auntie Fi says you're a good person, thats when you finally get to meet Baby Se. I'm sure you can already tell but Baby Se is fun to be around 😆
@@justcallmejon22 baby Se quite literally looks like a baby lol I often forgot that my partner is an INTJ when we're alone at home and got reminded when we meet other people and see how strong and menacing my partner's presence is. Sharp and intentional. Very purposeful and business like.
I feel personally called out. ;) Do not tell others of my fluffy potential.
Only one advice from an intj: JUST BE YOURSELF
Something like that 😂
The JUST BE YOURSELF only works if you're a 18 year old female. If you're a man, you still have to go to gym, get fit, make bank and be confrontational.
As an intj I do feel sad for people who catch feelings for intjs
I do as well 😂
But if we do for them, they are the luckiest people ever. We (if healthy) are amazing life partners. We are loyal, reliable and we strive to improve us and the environment and experience of the object of our affection. 😅
Yeah! It's a DIFFICULT life! Like we CONSTANTLY have to prove ourselves! No thanks! TOO EXHAUSTING! Imagine having to use 60% of your ENTIRE energy on someone who you might not even end up for the rest of your life! No thank you! About time INTJ put their steps forward too on dating than sitting on coach putting feet up & EXPECTING others to put in EFFORT and PROVE themselves than vice versa. I can understand why majority give up. Gotta meet others half way! Enough said!
High risk high reward.
Intjs aren't stingy with their love. We would do everything we can to make that person the happiest on earth and we won't be petty nor toxic (healthy INTJ).
@@FPT84 Who said we don't take steps forward? I'm an intj female and realized I can be too straight forward sometimes. If an intj is actively seeking out someone and not in their workaholic bubble, it's very easy for us to be the pursers and we take great pleasure in it.
Unfortunately though, most intjs are busy with their goals and we need someone to grasp our attention and remind us that romantic relationships exist.
Thank for the reminder ! I still need update my INTJ knowledge. All what you mention is so true for me.
"You basically dating yourself"😆 Me trying to date the INTJ I met at a work 2~3 years ago, I have the impression he is the male version of me.
When an INTJ is in love, he can't hide it, he is clumsy and awkward, and it's so cute and adorable how he try to hide it and be confident, and make a lot of efforts to Fe.
Don't lie and be authentic is the number 1 rule.
INTJ/INTJ relationships sounds like heaven 😀
@@justcallmejon22 It's all fun and games when plans align for both parties (which is hard!), otherwise it's a nightmare. Wouldn't recommend INTJ-INTJ pairing, there's only place for one INTJ in the relationship.
@@Braenn666 so, what type of personality do you recommend we date?
@@srj6963 I'd say date who you want, no matter the type. Just have in mind what are the drawbacks for the type you're interested in dating.
For some INTJ-INTJ pairing is working well, for me it was nice until our goals for the future went different ways. Both parties stubborn to death on their vision - if goals align it's great, but here it ended this relationship.
Now I'm dating INFP guy, best fit I've ever had. Still there are "drawbacks" - he's way more emotional than me but for me it's an advantage. I'm finally out of my nine layers of cushy insulation and showing emotions :)
TL;DR Date who you want, be aware that people has flaws.
@@Braenn666 well said, cheers!
I can't tell you how helpful this is. INTJ's can be very confusing to those who do not understand the INTJ ways. It would be very easy to mess up a potential relationship with them - they really should come with a handbook (Im surprised they haven't written one themselves) but they are SO worth it. The alien-unicorn-rubics-cubes of the MBTI types. Who doesn't love a complex mystery?
Some people don't like a challenge 🙃
The problem is that when you have solvded them, they actually just turn into a horrible tangled mess, thats why they never like to be solved and if they feel like you have solved them they start distancing themselves from you since you can see the real them instead of who they want you to see them as.
Wow.. you just totally described me here lol 😆☝🏽
if we write a handbook we won’t be able to as easily detect fakers. the whole point is to get the most honest data quickly. what that person chooses to do, in what order, in what combination, when they don’t know what the right answer is, that’s very useful information - and very difficult to fake.
@@nurainiarsad7395 That makes sense. I find some of the INTJ ways mystifying, especially as I am a feeler. My INTJ kept me at arms length for FIVE years (we are only just starting to see each other now and it's still going incredibly slowly) as he had been hurt before (haven't we all?). We have always had such a strong connection and deep compatibility - not something that comes around in life that often; and yet he was willing to risk me walking away by playing it so safe. A lot of the time it looked like he wanted nothing to do with me. No reasonable person should be expected to wait that long. Luckily I'm not a reasonable person and I like him that much. If I hadn't read so much about the INTJ I would have thought that he was messing me around. But I see the deep integrity and I also knew that he was not the type to play games. I do ponder the irony though that he is looking for this steadfastness and loyalty in me - yet by keeping himself so safe he was (inadvertently) showing me that out of the 2 of us, he is the high risk investment.
This is one of the better INTJ videos I’ve seen. The onion layers are hard to explain for people to understand. I have people in my life that have known me for decades and they don’t seem to grasp those layers. As far as romance, that’s a risky investment since time and energy are the most important elements. Best to keep my head down as an INTJ and just hope I’m not wasting my time with my countless goals. I’ve noticed that ENFP friends are extremely important for my soul. Their innocent curiosity and childlike purity really keeps me balanced and optimistic since majority of my goals have some grand, humanitarian purpose to them.
I'm happy to hear that you're enjoying my videos! I don't think there's an optimal way to approach life so I support whatever you decide to do whether it's chasing a goal or taking a detour towards romance. I agree that ENFPs tend to have an effect on INTJs that most types don't and it's nice to hear that you have that to brighten up your life ✊
@@justcallmejon22 Thank you. I'm sure if the right person comes along, the mindset will instantly change. INTJs might struggle with knowing how they feel, but when they see something they want, they fully dedicate and go for it. We can sound cold and detached when single, and a hopeless romantic at the same time. Not to darken the feel in the room, my ENFP friend died, sadly. I try to get closer with family members to balance losing her, but it doesn't work. I feel more misunderstood then before, because at least before I didn't know how family was viewing me. It is what it is. At least we have no shortage of goals, curiosities and thoughts to keep us moving forward. I've watched multiple of your videos by now, and you definitely explain things quite well. Being judged and misunderstood for "laughing at the wrong thing" made me laugh in one of your videos. Definitely have done that surrounding my loss. The person in front of me totally wrote me off as a sociopath.
@@ChefMonkey😢sorry for your loss and I totally agree with you on the ENFP part. ENFPs can always join me when I laugh at the wrong thing
@@liampeanut-ye8pv Indeed! And without judgment.
When INTJ has a bunch of interests, it is super fun if you are just open to it, you get to experience and learn about so many random things and have so many different experiences. Just be more openminded to other's interests, and you can enjoy trying new things together
Totally agree!
As an INTJ. Every single thing you’ve said is so articulate and poignant, and most importantly, correct. 😂
The way you tore into the other types so mercilessly. I love it! It’s true. Some (most?) people can’t handle us. And we don’t care.
As an intj I kinda want to see a video you make go as long as it needs. I could watch you for several hours and still be interested in this information. This last 6 months I have been studying psychology and personality types and watching your videos are highly informative.
I appreciate the affirmation, I'm glad you're enjoying my videos 🙏
same here because I roleplay an intj character and these facts have related to him, and as an Enfp you guys are just neat to me what can I say
+@@Pinkywinkykinky Interesting!
Ditto
As a young adult INTJ, I never realised that others dont plan as much as we do. I got with a guy who was driven & ambitious, but never recognized how he was slowly derailing my goals and accomplishments. He's passed away since, & I realise - 20+ years later- that I still hv the same goals (I did accomplish some before now) & still feel they're possible. At least now I won't allow anyone to get in my way. 😏
Good stuff INTJ! People always look at me weird when I tell them I don't expect myself to reap the benefits of my hard work until 20+ years down the line. It's always nice to hear stories about other INTJs keeping to their plans no matter how long it takes 😁
Dated a intj for 1.5 years and it has been so difficult to navigate and we cannot do mainstream advice. I am a estp and he is an intj. He doesn't share much. This video is so enlightening to watch. I hope the relationship changes for the better.
As an INTJ I have never gone to a date. Let's start there
I (a Hispanic male ISFJ) have been courting a INTJ black girl for almost a year now dear lord is this accurate to the T. Besides one part with my INTJ she wanted to break up with me not because anything I did but she felt the code of honor I gave to her was better used on other women, I talked to her and we immediately got back together . I love this woman drearily and she has put me through a lot to get to this point with her. We had a powerful moment one night and it was the heaven I was looking for with her she was FAR MORE interested than I had thought, that night I had never felt so complete before in my life. Everything was perfect, for a few hours I was the center of her universe and she was mine. I reply that night over and over again and want more. But she has fears about fully committing because of the unknowns of becoming a wife, mom etc... THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO IT HELPS ME SO MUCH!!!! I will keep enduring because she is the best and I will not settle for less
Congrats on finding an INTJ! It sounds like you're smitten with her and it sounds like the feeling is being reciprocated. Don't forget to listen and understand her Fi values. She doesn't tell that to just anyone and that's the easiest way to lose her. I'm hoping for the best for you two and please take care of her for us ✊
Hi there. 55 year-old INTJ female here with a close ISFJ friend. I want to give you advice. I love my ISFJ coworker/friend but there is one thing that has almost broken up our friendship and that is when she has told me how to feel (or not feel). HUGE MISTAKE. I almost ended the friendship over that. I never told her how much it hurt me (obviously if she’s going to tell me how to feel then how am I supposed to feel safe telling her how i feel?) so she has no clue because we’re not close friends outside of work for me to go to that length of investment to be that vulnerable with her) and I know from how she behaves that we will likely not stay friends if/when one of us leaves this job.
The issue is that she (you) has critical-parent Fi (6th slot Fi). I realized her Fe was a bit fake when I was thinking we were better friends then I realized she was just being nice. She’s said “I love you” (as a friend) but I think she doesn’t mean it as much as when I say it. So Ive realized our friendship is likely just situational for her and I decided not to be vulnerable by telling her how much it hurt when she told me how to feel. I simply just let her go emotionally inside. I can’t ghost her since we work together so we’ve continued to be friends but it feels fake to me now (coming from her) at times.
To ISTJ it’s better to say what you want. I figured that out since I have some issues with one.
As a INTP, I really understand the feeling of not fitting in and having layers. Keep it up, you make the world a better place :)
I appreciate the support INTP ✊
Very helpful. My current love interest is an INTJ. He has disclosed things to me which have made him very vulnerable. I told him he was ok, and he isn’t odd. I was touched that he felt safe enough to open up to me. As I watched this video, I realize how very rare it is for an INTJ to do this. He & I talk for hours by phone or in person. He told me he only talks for a few minutes with people generally. I have a rough time seeing this as we have so much fun together. I am an ENFP. Perhaps I fill in the gaps where he is weaker, and he for me. Thanks for this video.
Congrats on finding yourself an INTJ! It sounds like he's showing you his Fi values so the best advice I can ever offer anyone dating an INTJ is NEVER make him regret opening up to you. Fi is our third stack so it always feels odd using it, so we get extra defensive if it's attacked. Outside of that, please take care of your INTJ for me 🙏
Thank you, Jon. I hope anyone who cares enough to care for an INTJ has the good fortune to see this.
Thank you 🙏
As an INTJ with ADHD, my dating life is bizarre. While it does have it’s strange moments, people do find me pretty charismatic and oddly charming.
I have ADHD as well and I agree that dating is bizarre when you're on prescription as opposed to when you're off of it 😂
well, it becomes even more bizarre when you spice it up with an high iq and asd... 🤪
I (INTJ) also have ADHD... is it overrepresented among INTJs? Would love to see a video on that if there's evidence for it
+@@KamrynB it's overrepresented, period.
(I know you mean diagnosed, but the message wouldn't make as much sense or sound as good if I had corrected it lol)
Yup- that’s why I love y’all. I have an INTJ friend. Sometime we would just breath together and enjoy our presence which brings us comfort. No talk but together. Where as isfj, talks superficial- drains me 😊love the minds of INTJs
Silence is underrated 😁
"A person can be INTJ and have completely different values through the trauma that they've experienced throughout their lifetime, and that doesn't make them any less INTJ".
This rings so true for me; whenever I take the Myers-Briggs personality test, I score 49-51 or 51-49 for Thinking and Feeling in percentage. And, as a female, growing up with 2 extremely immature parents, I was always expected to take care of other people's feelings and to always be polite, serving, and (insert stereotypical female trait here). Regardless of traumatising childhoods like these, females are already expected to be more Feeling than Thinking; I remember being really interested in chemistry class but being laughed off by teachers and classes for wanting to study chemistry being that I was in fact a girl.
But I recognise myself a lot more in being INTJ than INFJ, specifically when it comes to my response to feedback, but also caring about others. I can't say I care about others in the way that most people would classify "caring about others". For me, caring about others, is like being vegan, because that's good for climate change adaptation and therefore might inspire more people to become vegan too, and therefore this may add to the survival of those people (leaving out lots of cause-consequence topics now as I'm sure you can figure these out for yourself plus it's just an example and veganism is not the topic of this comment).
The point is, your statement rings very true to me. Food for thought.
It always annoys me when lady INTJs comment and say that people laugh at your interest because it's not typically "feminine". Ya'll are just as capable and if you're interested, then who gives a F* what you do! I hope you found your peace my INTJ sister, life is too short to live for someone else ✊
Thank you Jon! @@justcallmejon22
Ft 19:02 😢z😢😅 I I love 😂z🎉 to for/ 😢r you going😢Sad h. Y😂 Sad 😢towz🎉😂e
Its interesting how intj's expect from others to be 100% transparent since the first date, but then have a lot of trouble showing their true self to people (showing their Fi, removing those layers as he mentioned at the end of the video). I think for the intj is very important that their partner is able to show their true self since the begining because is what they struggle the most, so they feel admiration for the people that is just themselfs with confidence, not afraid of opening. I am an intp and i admire (and feel atracted) to guys that use Se and Fe, and i think is because of the same thing, i struggle to be present, a person of action and in tune with peoples emotions. But its just a thought. Nice video!
INTJs are 100% transparent since the first date, we just won't talk about things that we don't want to talk about. So if you ask a question that we're comfortable with answering then you'll get the truth and we just won't answer questions that will make us uncomfortable. I think the best way to explain it is that you get what you give from an INTJ. Since you're an INTP, it should be easy, ya'll are one of the favorite types for us INTJs ✊
I think people who are unsure of themselves, can recognize our confidence and individuality and want to lock that down in. they fall completely head over heels. and I have had to cut it off after the first date so often 😅 I'm not even doin anything extra, just my usual demeanor and also showing signs that I'm not that interested. lol
I finally had to ask one why he would want a relationship with me when he knew our emotions and love languages were not compatible. he answered that he wanted a challenge. 🙄 okayyy and what do I get out of it?? 🤣
I wonder if it's an INTJ thing to hear that people likes us because they want a "challenge". I've definately heard it before and when I hear that, it just makes the person sound entitled. Glad you got your priorities straight.
@21:00 I'm a 50yo male INTJ. That comment you made about things "clicking" and feeling like an idiot just happened in a big way to me. I had some traumatic experiences as a child and mental issues have been common in my lineage. As an INTJ, you can imagine the worlds I could create about trauma and my past and linking everything up through psych therapy. Been doing it for 30 years with a couple years hiatus during that period. I was diagnosed with atypical depression with anxiety and was medicated as such. But I still never felt like the root of the vine has been removed. But I really thought I was careful about understanding who I am and why I do things.
Three months ago, a new doc diagnosed me as bipolar II with PTSD. My med profile was off. I don't know how another INTJ would take this, but I have had to spend 3 months going back over all the sort of significant events of the past and *reclass and refilter my whole past life* based on the knowledge I was actually bipolar. Those times when I was super productive, and I thought that if I could just keep at this level instead of having depression to foul me up, it would be great. After bipolar diagnosis: Those times when I wrote an NIH grant proposal in 5 days or went on a no-sleep week when I couldn't stop doing things when they "made sense," --- yeah, those were hypomanic periods. Complete change in a core value important to understanding the causes and effects of things on my life. It really shook me up.
If someone else happens to be INTJ and also bipolar, I urge you to be aware of a sort of addiction potential. Imagine you are an INTJ and you are normally taking in data, sorting it and drawing conclusions, etc. We do it, but it's not easy, and it is tiring. Now, imagine that you could increase your productivity and sociability by 50%... it would be amazing. And if you are bipolar, manic episodes can be like cocaine. You could find yourself having periods of brilliance and charisma, setting all these plans and meetings and networking events to conquer the world. But then you come down... and you may even go below "normal" into a depressive state. Resulting in a huge INTJ existential problem: if you are depressed, you will be out of gas and not be able to live up to the demands you set in motion. What I'm trying to do is be aware when I'm in that state and keep in mind not to make obligations that my "normal" self can't accomplish.
It sounds like you went though a lot brotha but it also sounds like you're on the right path towards peace. I'm glad you were able to reanalyze your life and figured out the root cause to fix and I'm hoping for the best for you on your journey ✊
I feel extremely called out... In the best possible way! Instant subscribe.
😀
Blueprints - totally get that
Oooh Lord! I feel understood😄. What a beautiful feeling. Thank you for this video.
Glad you enjoyed it ✊
I usually am the best dancer in the room but no one would ever know due to the reasons you explained. Too many spot on things in this video to count 😂 good stuff.
Thank you, I appreciate the support 🙏
me too. an other youtuber said, that intjs are very good dancer. 😊
This is one of the best videos on INTJs that I can relate to
Glad you enjoyed it ✊
100% Relatable..you put into words something I've been trying to describe for a long time. Many thanks!
✊
Omg, you are so right about the plans. That was hilarious ❤. I needed to hear that.
I got you ✊
The conclusion part was sssoo good✨
Thank you 🙏
I laughed so hard during this video as it was incredibly true :) Thank you for making it and I love your examples, definitely gonna use the rollercoaster one when a date doesn’t get why I’m not interesting in a second date 😁 - INTJ female
Glad that you enjoyed it 😁
Everything in this video is so true! Persistence and patience makes so much sense.
We are difficult to date 🙃
This is so spot on 👌
You are INTJ? Wtf😵
Appreciate it brotha 🙏
the last person I imagined to comment here hahah
Hey! Thanks for that dopamine hit!
Thanks for that dope comment that I used in the video 🙏
Omg I related to most all of this. Great video!
Thank you 🙏
You are so articulate, I really love your videos. I am an INTJ and I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said here 🧡
Thank you 🙏
Thank you. This was very helpful!
Wow, this is deeply accurate and so well done!! I have not felt this seen in a long time. (female INTJ)
I got you fellow INTJ ✊
A very patient ENFP here... 😂❤ Your videos are very soothing to me
That's how I feel when I listen to xNFPs talk ❤
Love this. My BF is ISTP and loved his persistence but also authenticity. A lot of it is ofputting to a regular person. VERY OFPUTTING, but its what drew me to him. No frills. No fakeness.
It’s so accurate and the last part of the onion actually made me cry 😢
Onions have a tendency to do that to people 😅
...this video is BEYOND excellent...
Thank you 🙏
Dude you are so amazing 👏. I can't begin to tell you how spot on you are as an INTJ, I can't even begin to say how much I CANNOT STAND people who try to B.S. We hate liars. We like to see everything up front and the cards you hold. I feel seen and I feel understood because someone took the time to really talk about the pros and cons of us INTJs
I'm always happy to hear when people feel heard through my videos! Dating really is difficult for us because of liars and people trying too hard but I've come to realize that we're the odd ones and that's what most other types expect 😂
Listening to your video has made my HR rise. You have told so many truths for me as an INTJ. Especially, that you talked about us not knowing if someone likes us. I live in my head so much I think I talk myself out of a date. I really enjoyed this video. Thank you for your content. I've now subscribed to your channel.
Thank you for the kind words! Go on your dates, I learned that people tend to surprise me, sometimes for the better 😁
I feel relieved its "normal" to ghost people. Bad habit, ik, but i can't really do this rn, i want to! But be patient. You nailed this video
It's a bad habit and I've been called out on it before. I'm trying to change but man is it difficult because of how easy and natural it is to just ignore someone 😂
It depends. I will call someone out once for disrespecting me. If it happens again, poof, gone. But I won't typically cut someone out without warning.
Thanks for the video Jon... and i agree, sometimes i've been the light of the party when i was a bit drunk, idk why, since im way too serious for some people... anyway... im a father now and i love my child, im not in a relationship but i really want to get back on my feet about it, i love my alone time but sometimes is better when you have company, even if we are not talking about anything, just walk by the hand or lay down in the grass, we can be very romantic when we release ourselves from the personality boundaries.
Thanks for sharing your experience brotha! My brother was a single father and my sister was a single mother so I sympathize with the hardship that you're going through. I hope you figure out what makes the most sense to you, staying single for finding a person. I'm rooting for you bro ✊
I don't know why I am laughing so much through out this video. 😂😂😂😂
An INTJ mind lives in spectrums, and an INTJ lives operates in a dichotomy. Spot on.
Thank you 🙏
You’re hilarious bro! But you’re pretty spot on. I am just discovering that I’m an INTJ-T and you’re living in my head!! lol I’ve literally said the exact same things you’re saying.
Welcome to the INTJ community! There's a lot of unhealthy INTJ out there so let's do our part in steering them towards a positive path 🤓
I honestly have been attracted to people who like learning and are fairly open minded and basically I can discuss Ni with and not be immediately shut down and also listen to me talk about tons of things even if they don’t understand everything. And even let me teach them some things. I do have an attraction to what’s different I am more attracted to someone doing their own thing and has flaws than someone doing a trendy things and seeming “perfect”. Ya looks do matter to an extent but it’s more of a pass fail system, if someone looks decent and can present themselves it’s good enough. Currently dating an ENTP and it’s been going well.
Congrats on finding your ENTP ✊
OMG. You nailed it. Totally. I wish I could have this ready and available for any "interested persons". I am very aware of "mission critical" aspects of any project, and as a default will calibrate carefully any disclosures or even comments within that context, so as not to endanger the mission. I'm aware of vastly more than I choose to react to.
And I make detail-specific differentiations: I'm not agressive in a crush-maim-&-kill mode, but if you've signed on for some foolish idea that endangers the project, I will NOT take into account your emotions when I argue against it, so be prepared; and if someone else argues against your project, I will NOT take into account* their emotions when I mount a defense (*unless they are mission-critical personages, in which case I will take their emotions into account but not let it stop me.)
Thank you!!
Yep
Nothing stands in the way of Mama Te and Papa Ni 😂
Right, as an INTJ I like to pick friends based on their demons. If I can deal with them we are friends if not goodbye. I love transparency. As of today I have no friends by choice 😂. Oh well
I'm happy to hear that you have bounderies but I'm an INTJ that also understands the benefit of having a tribe. I support whatever decision makes the most sense to you and would just like to remind you not to forget that there are wonderful people out there as well 🙂
Great vid! Besides a few blanket statements about "never" that don't resonate with me, you really hit it, especially in the end with Fi. My Fi is what drives everything I do, yet most people don't know it. Only a select few I trust will know that everything I do is based on a strong moral system.
Yeah, I feel like Fi is what's missing in most videos about INTJ ✊
Agreed, Fi drives everything for me. Ni is the fodder and designer of life for me, Te is the task master. But my values are the source.
As an INTJ, I ended up with someone who isn’t conventionally attractive and is a little bit of a slob but I fell in love with his soul. He’s basically the complete opposite of me and it works for us. Been married 18 years.
Congrats on finding a partner! Although, I hope he doesn't see this comment because it can be interpreted as a backhanded compliment 😂
Thank you so much for this video. I feel compelled to drop a comment here to let you know how informative your video has been. I had the good fortune to get to know an INTJ for a couple of months. I'm a skeptic, especially with people that I just met but with him, strangely I felt so much at ease because I know that what I see is what I get. There is no hidden agenda. You rightfully nailed that part. There are many parts of this video that is very him. I find myself nodding because that's the INTJ that I know.
Unfortunately, we are no longer talking with each other. Kinda wish that I come across this video earlier so that I could understand him a little better. So that I can show him how genuine, how interested and how much I like him. I thought I was being patient and giving him the space that he needed. But perhaps that wasn't enough. Nevertheless, hoping he is doing okay :) - INFJ
I'm happy to hear that this video helped you get some closure but also sad to hear that it didn't work out. What helps me get through moments like this is to remind myself that sometimes things are just out of your control and sometimes good things fall apart. Chin up INFJ, you'll find someone who won't want to lose you ✊
This is phenomenal! 👏🏾
@Jon thank you for your valuable content; I'm so grateful for the time and effort you put into your videos. I have a pretty special INTJ and I'm the luckiest INFP-T Lady. Thank you again for this and all of your videos.
Thank you for the kind words! Take care of your INTJ for us 🙏
I can't recall how many times my friends have taken it personally when I didn't respond right away or didn't respond with words that made me sound super generous and then I have to convince them I wasn't trying to hurt their feelings, I was only operating in my normal comfort communication style. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I feel you INTJ. Learning how to communicate with your loved ones gets easier once you learn their communication style ✊
God, I could relate so hard when I heard him say that one misinformation gives us an existential crisis ...bcoz honestly, I have been having a lot of paradigm shifts lately and every time I get so overwhelmed...I couldn't figure out why it did, this made me feel so relieved now that I realized it...thnx a lot man!!!
I got you ✊
Could not have said it any better! 👏
shout out to that viewer❤👍
ps. ive just finished your video talking about me and I loved it! Perfect description.
thx
Not sure what video it was but you're welcome 😂
I must be a weird one because I don't expect people that I love to behave the way I think they should. Besides loyalty, selfcare and maturity everything else is a bonus/not necessary in a serious relationship. Intjs are (usually) too dopamine driven and that's why they have difficulties enjoying social interection (which is a serotonin based behavior). I'm almost a sensor (55% intuition) so I don't like to stress myself all the time trying to control the future to become 100% independent from society and humans, because I know that that is lack of self love, and when you don't love yourself, the ones who love you will suffer. (And no, I'm not a feeler)
INTJs come in different shapes and sizes so it's okay that some of the things I said didn't apply to you. What I do want to address is that I don't fully agree that INTJs are dopamine-driven, we just don't like wasting time. We're not seeking anything, we're avoiding something, so there's not really a payoff such as dopamine or serotonin involved in our decision whether or not to be social. I am glad that you don't possess the negative INTJ traits because it sucks 🏀
I am intj. My wife is isfp. Yes its been awkward at times.
That said, we’re rolling up on 30 years
Always happy to hear about INTJ relationships with longevity. ISFPs are amazing 😁
I tested as an INTJ. I enjoy your content. Thank you
I truly appreciate the support 🙏
I failed in my dating life (such as it was) in my young adulthood because I refused to be fake myself. The women did not like my honesty - especially not my being honest about my flaws and foibles. I eventually gave up on dating.
It's never too late to jump back on the wagon. Dating is different at a later age. I wouldn't say easier but it is different.
As an entp I’ve never been more confused in my life lol but thanks for providing insight! It’s not every day you get to learn about the intj from the intj perspective
I got exhausted after writing the script for this video because we sound terrible to date 😂
The problem is what he said is very true which is unsettling..
Amazing. Will send this to my new partner asap ☺️❣️
I hope they watch the entire video 😂
The whole message thing is so on point is scary 😭 I'm this way with my friends too, they've just had to accept that's the way I am and it's nothing personal if I don't respond for days, which to some people is rude or unacceptable.
Objectively speaking, it is rude to make someone wait so it's been something that I've actively been working on. However, I don't think I've made much progress 🙃
Absolutely love this. Soooo true. 😍
You know me more than any of my so-called boyfriends. Though I have serious doubts anyone will understand even if I handed them these instructions on a platter. INTJ arrogance (or observation), if you will. Phew!
Sometimes I wonder if this makes sense to any other type 😅
This whole video explains it so well. I have trouble explaining to my friend's or ppl im dating how i dont assume ppl are flirting with me or if we go out its obviously a hangout not a date. Its all platonic till its not right? 😂 but if the other person doesn't make it really clear to me that we are dating i just think we are friend's. I feel like other personalities put too much emphasis on love dating and all that stuff. The world doest revolve around that!
It's that blind Fe that makes us oblivious! But I enjoy not knowing because I agree that it sounds horrible to live in a world where you have to continue questioning someone's intentions 😅
Interesting! I'm an INFJ and I have met a guy that I like and he is an INTJ. I learned a lot from this video. I also see everything you said as it is true about him. I'm patient so I'm glad of that lol.
I'm making a video about why INTJs love INFJs. It'll probably provide a bit more insight 🙂
@@justcallmejon22 Thanx Jon!
@@justcallmejon22have u uploaded it?
It's a "chore"!!!! I love it. I agree you really get the dating part right. I would add more about our ignorance of flirting. I had a guy literally run 5 circles around me. Before I looked up and saw his, "HHHeeeyyy baby!" look. He still didn't get a date. LOL
The eternal struggle of immediately understanding social cues as an INTJ 😂
spot on!
I was telling a friend about my crush and how I was afraid to pursue her because I didn’t want to hurt her and the friend asked How I know that I won’t be the one hurt. I hate explaining myself and I couldn’t find a simple way to explain that I’m 100% sure that won’t be the case.
Trust me when I say I've been there before 😂
i felt like the video was over at 3:50, but it's just starting 🥵🙆🏽♀️
Please do more longer videos. Love how much I can learn from it
Will do 🙂
Jon, it's good to see you. I lost you in the maze of whatever YT is doing to cause us to miss our favorite channels. I'm glad I finally found you again. I couldn't remember anything but Jon lol. I love this video. I love all your videos, but this one is exceptional. I am still with my INTJ and we are doing good. It was nice to be reminded of some points you make that I need to be aware. My partner has started to share more and more, but when he does share it is incomplete. I've learned to accept what I can get and stay patient. Eventually, I learn more. It does make me smile and wonder if you and he are like twins ;) . Thank you for your hard work on your videos.
Thank you for listening to your INTJ when he opens up, it's very rare for us but we tend to do it with people we know who care about us. I haven't been making many videos recently but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop, I'm just not sure which video I'm making next, but thank you for always supporting me 🙏
EVERYTHING you said is on point 👏👏
We are definitely red flags for wrong person and greenest green flag for our Mr. Right 😅
Sounds like you found Mr. Right! Congrats fellow INTJ 😁
@@justcallmejon22 for an intj it's nearly impossible to find their Mr right.. May be coz of our high standards 😂
I would love to see a INTJ love INFJ video, as someone similar yet so different would love to learn about how that relationship would be and work.
Already ahead of you mate: ua-cam.com/video/9Jxv2a2PaAQ/v-deo.html
Yes! I too have been looking for this! Thanks!
your content is just wow amazing, thanks man.
Thank you 🙏
Thank you for this video! I'm infj and my husband is intj. When I watched this video I tottaly realized why our relatioship works so well. We are so similar but our differences complete each other. I feel so lucky to be in relatioship with intj ❤ Thank you also for important reminder how to take care Fi side of intj. Maybe I should respect more my husband's feelings although he rarely shows them. 😅❤
Congrats on finding an INTJ! The INFJ & INTJ pairing is one of my favorite so it's always nice to hear about it. I'm sure your husband shows you his Fi, you just kinda have to listen carefully. It's going to get brought up in random moments and not be emotionally charged, but why would he bring it up if it didn't matter?! I'm hoping for the best for your relationship and please take care of your INTJ for me 🙏
Yall aren’t for the faint of heart. I love the honesty & bluntness but the coldness is frigid lol I was married to one. I’m INFP so yeah. He is mostly logic & im mostly emotional
Sad to hear that it didn't work out but happy that ya'll gave it a try 🙂
I certainly have observed all these things in him. I directly told him I like him and we have been talking/more like staying in touch almost everyday even after that. I don't know what his reply is.. But for some reason I don't feel bad.. Just matching his pace! Though most of the times, I feel he is not saying things he actually wants to but doesn't matter. Whatever his response is.. I am enjoying his company even though we are sitting in our homes. Thanks for your video.. As I have already accepted him as he is , as I don't know to me he is one of the sweetest persons I have seen
An INFP
Sounds like you two are starting off on the right path! Good luck INFP Queen and take care of my INTJ brotha 🙏
@@justcallmejon22 ohh my god! You are so kind! Yeah! I would if he happens to be there with me.. Actually I saw him first time when I was in Grade 6th and he was my first crush since then! Later in high school I got to know he was committed so I never told him. And after 8.5 years we met again in 2022. So, this time I told him before he leaves again ☺.. By the way your new subscriber 💕