HOLIDAY STORY TIME: Why I Dumped My Boyfriend At Christmas | Shallon Lester
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- Gavin and I had a movie-worthy start to our relationship...but there was a plot twist I didn't see coming! I'll tell you why I called it quits right before the holidays.
#datingadvice #storytime #shallonlester
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CELEB GOSSIP AND LOVE LESSONS!
Got a love, dating or friendship question? You've come to the right place! I'm Shallon Lester, a two-time published author, NYC magazine editor and star of Howcast's viral kissing videos. I spill the tea on celebs like Kylie Jenner, the Kardashians, Beyonce, Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber, Hailey Baldwin, Rihanna and more, breaking down their relationships, scandals and psychology to see what lessons WE can learn, and give you no-nonsense advice and real-world tips on everything from dating apps and players, to family and friends!
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So beautiful!!! Love this ❤️🙏🏻🎄
"There's nothing more beta than a man holding a woman to a standard he can't meet." This spoke to me on SOOOOO many levels!
“Just because something isn’t an F doesn’t mean it is an A+” damn that’s a good quote.
“D’s get degrees but they don’t get BJs” is my new motto.
666 likes, you're welcome 😅
It’s NEVER pathetic to be single no matter the time of year. A breakup from someone who doesn’t make you happy is really a blessing.
Thank you! Yes
That’s so sweet 😊
"Relationships are not made to be happy"- Jordan Peterson
I’m quite older than Shallon, and this is something I’ve learned the hard way - if a guy goes on a rant about his ex it’s a deal breaker. There will be no more dates because he is not over his ex and is looking to heal his hurt ego, he’s not ready for a new relationship, even if he thinks he is. But there are smarter guys, who don’t rant, who hide their hurt feelings for their ex, who don’t mention it, and you find out you’re in a rebound relationship when it’s too late, when you’re in too deep. Those are the dangerous fuckers we got to look out for.
Absolutely agree. Someone who doesn't show a remote interest in our life, doesn't belong in it. Cheers to being single!!
Please, share more of these stories!!
His loss. I don't know how he couldn't find literally 30 seconds to shoot you a text right before going to sleep, or while he's eating dinner to say "Hi, thinking about you." It's not that difficult. I think you did the right thing, you now have space for the right guy to show up. Have a kick ass Christmas!
I can’t imagine anything less sexy than a post sex RANT about the “morality of ghosting someone” with a deep undertone of “angry at my ex for finding someone better”.
Out of all the times to bring those convos up he chooses then. That breed is a strange kind.
It's right up there for worst pillow talk topics.
Not taking an interest in your life is a classic narcissistic trait. I dated a grandiose narcissist who could not remember the major I was studying in after 8 months of dating me! This was so hurtful because academics were everything to me during my time in college and I had built my whole identity around it. I have never felt a stronger pit in my gut than the moment when he started stuttering when I was looking him in the eyes and asking him if he couldnt remember something so important to me. That should have been my sign to run for the hills but nope, dragged it on for another 8 months and ended it for the exact same reason.
Dating a narcissist is extremely draining. The mirroring, gaslighting and their pathological need for attention is sickening. He was in politics so you could imagine how much he loved being in the spotlight and thrived off of it.
He never made me feel like I was his partner and frankly made me feel no different than his favourite pair of shoes. Even though he never treated me poorly, I was a possession and that makes me feel disgusted to this day.
Girl same. One of my exes still thought I was a nurse 3 months into our situationship. I've never been a nurse.
I feel y’all girls. I just recently broke up with a guy after 5 months of relationship, one of my (sad) highlights was when I accidentally discovered after 4 months into the relationship that he had no clue what my last name was, he only knew my first name. My birthday he didn’t remember either even though he had congratulated me months before. It hurt so much when he was stuttering that he doesn’t know my full name.
Oh I went through that. It's disgusting. I agree
It was pretty obvious he was not looking for a partner
Shallon! You're absolutely right! I once dated a surgeon and even he had time to text me and send me 10 min. long voice notes while he had his breaks! Ladies don't settle 👑
B- is way too generous. That behaviour is absurd.
I have a government job which prohibits phones during shift, but I communicate with people before work, after work and during lunch. It’s not that hard.
That’s the most insulting excuse I’ve ever heard
This! Shallon is probably way more hard working than this douche, so an insulting excuse is exactly what it is
“Don’t put a question mark, where I put a period”- priceless
Shallon you don’t need an app, your personality shines through. if you can’t meet someone in real life then there is no hope for the rest of us 😅 love this ❤️
Girl yessss 😭
Hahahaha this!!!
I know someone who met the love of her life on a dating app in highschool! They dated for several years, got married a few years ago, and now have a baby!! Don’t give up hope. Maybe our soulmate IS looking for us on a dating app because they can’t find anyone in real life either
I met my current husband online :-) and many great dates, friends, and a previous relationship also. I think it’s a great way to meet people :-) very modern.
Meeting on an app is better to me. We get more info up front than out with friends or whatever.
The sad truth is most relationships and most marriages in today's society shouldn't even exist, if we set the bar even at the lowest standard of human decency, respect and communication. I look around and see so many disaster relationships that go on and on, mostly because women are desperate and don't have the courage to be single and accept that it's better to be alone, than to be treated like a doormat, just to have the shadow of a man in the picture.
I share your feeling of sadness about this. I see it too, wayyy too often :(. Strong women that can't be without a 'man', it makes me deeply sad.
That's what I always say, people and specially a lot of women are so afraid to be alone that they will date/marry anyone, plus there's a lot of men who are liars from the beginning so relationships are made on a foundation of lies. So sad. I don't even know how this world works anymore.
You definitely dumped him! He was grooming you for more bad treatment…and you said no thanks. SO WELL DONE. Blocking is a very healthy response to an abusive person. You healthy lady, good job!
And yes Dr. Ramani, I agree.
My dad is a doctor. I have some advice for anyone who wants to marry or date a doctor. Don’t expect to see them much the first 25-30 years. However, my dad is an MD and is pretty decent with texting, so was my ex. Genuinely. You will never be first. Medicine will always come first. You will be third. Even at best. The wife of a doctor needs to be able to deal with a few aspects of medicine and doctors. Sometimes they are egomaniacs, workaholics, narcissistic, and difficult. As someone who’s dated a doctor and the daughter of one, I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum. My dad is a doll, but difficult. The guy I dated was an egomaniac and so difficult. I would recommend not dating a doctor unless you have found your soulmate AND are fine being second or third place.
The only Time it would be worth putting up with this doctor schedule is if he’s a plastic surgeon or dermatologist and can hook you up with Botox and lasers for free.
My experience from being in a ton of student hospitals- that really depends on the type of medicine. Endocrinology snd family medicine tend to attract better people- especially endocrinology. Surgeons tend to be either really weird or super egotistical. The weird ones tend to be great surgeons lol
I would argue nurses are good partners to doctors. For one main point they know and understand medicine to a degree. So they have the common bond of medical work.
I kind of agree. I'm a female doctor myself and every guy I've dated complained about me not being available. Honestly , It's not intentional. I just feel overwhelmed all the time with the workload. Maybe we're not very good at managing our workload very well. Another thing is , the stress level is intense. You leave work and all you think about is ; Did I check that patients allergy status before prescribing? What were that patients electrolyte levels? What about the other septic patient that was stepped down to our ward. Does he have bloods done yet? What about this ?what about that.??? A million emails about previous patient requiring medication review and whole lot of endless portfolio garbage .....AAAAAAAAGHH.
Every time I saw a missed call from my loved one It would hurt me so much because I felt horrible. I felt like a failure, like I wasn't even capable of doing THAT.
Honestly, at times it made me feel very depressed.
This definitely does vary a lot depending on what specialty the person is in, but in general, I totally agree with this and prefer to date non-doctors. And I’m a med student myself lol.
I've learned the hard way when men do this, they're testing to see how much you'll put up with. It's a "how little can I do and still keep her on a hook for when my ego needs stroking". I get why you couldn't resist calling him out on his ghosting hypocrisy, and proud of you for blocking him. That behavior is a full stop deal breaker.
this is the most relatable video you've done for us because it's a real life example that happens to every one of us! please do more like these
I'm so happy you are sharing this with people. Expect better, get better. Don't settle. Let him go if he's not communicating with you.
I swear they come back on the market worse than before the previous ex. I’m sure the shalligators don’t take crap, but SOO many times I’m in shock at the behaviours the ex let them get away with, then I look like the ‘too much effort’ or ‘nagging’ one for bringing up the most BASIC of points! I get mad at the guys but honestly I get mad at girls sometimes too for enabling this behaviour. Imagine if we all unanimously started being strict about what we tolerate/expect. They’d start shaping up pretty fast.
Or all become incels :(
Yup my last ex told me lots about his wife he was separated from, how much she nagged how she hated sex but also how he behaved to her, he'd walk out the door slamming it rather than discuss problem, he smashed up her favourite black cabinet as he found it ugly, she was really upset, he never talked about his feelings or said sorry to her. I'd not put up with any of that so I made him talk through stuff etc and seems like he found it too much work and went back to her after 2 months with me 😂 He was not even hot and was French, who I'd vowed off anyway as they're the worst! They just want easy with no effort. 🙄
@@Elle.G. no not at all, that's a very sweet comment! I always just loved the Greek myth since i was young, wishing you and your family all the best for the holidays ✨
You teach us a lot how to set boundaries with these emotional toddlers and this is extremely important. It saved me a lot of time, energy and heartbreak. Please continue doing videos bout it
I completely agree, Shallon. I’m in my late 20’s and am extremely picky because I’m fine being alone. I’m dating someone now and I laid out exactly what I needed from him, he likes me so much he really puts in the effort to meet my needs. Otherwise why even bother? A+ only!!
That’s so strange…people are glued to their phones nowadays (sadly but we are), and he can’t take 30 seconds to shoot you a text? Does this dude get a lunch break? I know people have their own lives and all but that’s a little weird. Ugh this is one of many reasons I choose to be single! Thanks for the story! Btw: Post-sex oxytocin draining is real!! All they’re doing is letting us get over them easier 😄
It's totally typical. All up your ass for a few weeks... then they 'get busy' & it drops way down. They're still 'interested' but I think once they get comfortable & confident you're into them... they want to reestablish boundaries and quickly lower your expectations. Once they are getting laid... they quit 'putting in the overtime'. They 'got you'... & most truly believe they are so incredible in bed that they have to do little else to keep you.
Meanwhile... during sex... you are mentally going over your grocery list for the third time & trying to peep the Letterman "top ten list' over his shoulder. 👀 All while he rocks your world. 🙄(Not because you're a great multi tasker, either.)
It's the beginning of the end for me when this happens. It's too early to nag but too late to let it go... so I start getting passive aggressive about it... which is not me at all... & it rapidly goes downhill from there. Lol. That's why you put in 150% effort in those first few times... in case they pull this 💩. You want it to really hurt when you cut them off. They will try to weasel back in... literally, lol... but you'll be 'busy'. Working. 😁 Bwahahaha! Nothing like a taste of their own medicine to really make your point. Lol.
@@theshadylady1982 this comment was so funny thank you!
The ‘I was busy at work’ is the laziest of fuckboy beta ghosting excuses. I used to fall for that one. Now it’s a clear red flag that that dude is incapable of emotional multitasking. Which is kind of a basic skill needed for any long term relationship. And certainly if you have kids one day. Cause a two year old does not give a shit about your busy work day. 🤷🏻♀️
😂facts
True story!
Yep yep, like the love bomber I met a few years ago, was texting me every few minutes at the beginning, when he knew he had me suddenly he was always in a meeting or something really bad happened at work and he couldn't text or talk...
Hey I’m a pharmacist and have worked at hospitals. I can tell you no one is THAT busy to not even be able to send a text, even during the pandemic. When working at the hospitals, we have to have our phone with us at all time to respond to requests from the floor if we’re in the pharmacy or whatever. I also believe that you make time for people and things you truly care about, no matter what
I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years a few days ago… I realised I just couldn’t go through another year in the same relationship. There was no major issue, the chemistry just wasn’t there anymore and I didn’t feel like I was actually living my life/living up to my potential. Sad because a big part of my life is gone but excited for new adventures ✨
I feel this way too like I guess I’m sad bc a big part of my life is gone and it’s crazy that this person I knew for 4 years is gone now but I don’t think it’s the same as wanting to be with them cos I could never go back to that relationship since it was a dead end relationship
Blocking someone isn’t petty- you just don’t want to see or hear from them again and phones blowing up eat away at your attention span for the entire day.
It sounds like you were being devalued. I recently had an experience like this with a B-. Within 3 months he went from constantly texting to “I can only see you Friday nights because I like my Sundays to myself”. Funny because he asked me on our first date on a Sunday. Gavin sounds irritating and immature
You only dated him 2 months and you had time to go *weeks* at a time without speaking, you were sleeping with him and you've broken up. I'm not telling you what to do with your body but maybe try to get to know someone over time before you sleep with them. You could build a more intimate connection and get to know them before you commit to sleeping with them and getting emotionally involved.
I just went through a similar breakup… and the gaslighting was insane!!! Like I was being difficult! He told me he could not live up to my standards… and I told him I would not lower them! I’m not going to be dating someone ONLY when it’s convenient for THEM!
Broken hearted here. Trying to have the willpower to end a toxic relationship with a dude, that I'm sure you would think is a D- or an F. Your video is definitely helping remind me to stick to my standards.
You can do this!!💜💯
@Voyager I did/am.💁♀️ I mean, it wasnt that bad, he isn't a D & it wasn't "toxic," he just paid me an inexcusably little amt of attention. Tbh there's still a window where if he reached out & said he'd attempt to meet my needs I'd be like "ok," but he clearly doesn't care enough to even do that little bit, so I'm thinking we're done, lol.😏💯
I finally ended it.
Bye bye *GAVIN* .. at least you didn't do valentines together . I hate doing events with people i don't want around anymore. That's 1 new :Christmas ,new-year, valentines memory that sucks.
I work in emergency medical care. You HAVE to pee at some point and can text "at work, message soon" while you do. Dude was playing hard to get and knocked himself off Shallon's long options list. So long man...
I recommend watching Dr Ramani here on UA-cam, I’ve become obsessed with her videos. She talks about dating narcissists and recently said it often starts out like a movie because they are very confident and know how to work a situation. I remember dating a guy once, and the first encounter was crazy perfect. Then he started bragging about how his ex was a size 0 (okay dude), and then what a victim he was because of his childhood and a bad divorce. Complete 180 so I cut it off.
Oh geez...
Yikes 😬. Key is to know when to leave
She has literally validated that I am mostly definitely the daughter of a narcissist father. And how I am an empath because of him. So he is truly toxic for me, but he is my dad. Fortunately I do not date narcissists since the Scorpio in me is a lie detector. But I hope you are finding healing dealing with a narcissist.
She is A-1
Yes I love Dr Ramani
Shallon it sounds like you followed your instincts here. You’re so right about the “pass” or “fail.” That’s how we need to grade guys. It needs to be a “hell yes” or nothing.
Shallon I don’t think blocking him after breaking up is “petty”. I think it’s decisive. That was always my style when ending things and it’s a refreshing new start!
Enjoy your elegant relaxing holidays 🎄🕊
Breaking up with someone you truly cared and seen a future with is like committing murder. The first is your toughest to get through but after that it's like stepping on ants. So im happy for you girl💯.
I “dated” a guy like this years ago.. during one of the periods of him not texting me & essentially ghosting me, I met another guy. That new guy asked me out and I was like well this other dude isn’t giving me a reason to decline. Once the ghost figured out I had ghosted him, he was blowing up my phone with texts. I told him ya snooze, ya lose. The “new guy” I went on a date with is now my husband.
PLEASE do a video about how to feel like you deserve it when you finally find an A+. And I don't mean in superficial ways I mean when you find a actual great guy all around and how not to push away and feel undeserving.
He compartmentalized you . To me I don't get mad at patterns of behavior if it's consistent. Let's say you are a person that needs to concentrate at work, cool, then don't initially text me through the workday. Because when you stop doing things you were capable of doing like.. a month before , it seems sketchy. It's not like the expectations come out of nowhere.
THIS ⬆️👌🏼
Honestly if I were in a relationship I wouldn't be texting the person I'm dating while I'm at work. I'd wait until I came home. Or if I've only been dating someone a few weeks or around a month I'm not going to text them everyday. It would be more like once or twice a week if that. We all have different expectations and to me Gavin sounds more like a cat person. Which is somebody who doesn't need constant attention from their significant other. That alone doesn't make him a bad person. And also we all know most men suck at communicating. Shallon just needs to find someone who is more communicative and can do it effectively.
Yes! U nailed it
EXACTLY!
@@violetsnotviolence nah I've worked 19 days straight pulling 9 hours and I work at a hospital and still atleast said goodnight to my person via call or text. Gavin was entertaining someone(s) else and work was a weak excuse. My story was almost identical to Shallons and guess what ...those ghosting days went to someone else! She made the right choice. He would've disappointed her for Christmas and valentine's Day and that's worse. So proud of her.
Ok Gavin! My husband is active duty in the Marines and even when he's in the feild for days or deployed he still finds a way to communicate with me every chance he gets! He sneaks his phone into the woods while training and turns it on once a day to call me & tell me goodnight. If he's on a ship he uses the expensive ship phone to call me or he emails. There is no excuse for you to act like your just slaving away & can't take 2 mins to text once a day! Jesus Christ.
BTW SHALLONS way outta your league buddy, you really fumbled this one😬
Sounds like your dude is just praying Jody doesn't come up on you.
Have a wine night story-time and share past stories in details, I love story-times and I’m dying for the content!!
Your first mistake is dating someone named Gavin
Gavin Gross
Kudos to you Shallon for recognizing the situation for what it was and getting out of it. I know so many people (myself included) would rather stay in a B- situation than get out find something better. It takes courage and self-awareness to take such an action. I hope you are taking care of yourself! 🤍
My S.O. works in medicine too: long, overnight shifts, he still communicates with me on a daily basis one way or another. The ex had ZERO excuses for that.
The EXACT same thing is happening to me. Yesterday, I broke up with my bf of 6 months, even though it was fun at first (not that much really) and I was comfortable with him, I started thinking this last week, what am I doing? I've been overlooking so many things I don't like, for what? It's not like he's super fun or like super interesting. He's not interested in what I do, he's not a deep thinker, he's got nothing I want. At first I thought, I'm just with him for the stability of the relationship but then I thought, what do I need stability from a guy? Why can't I give that to myself? He doesn't meet my standards, this is not the relationship I want and by staying with him I'm just blocking my blessings, maybe God wants to send me something great but filling my space with THIS relationship, a relationship I don't even want. Needless to say, I broke up with and didn't feel a thing, it didn't feel like a break up, it just felt like a chore that got done.
I just wanna be happy, with the happiest I provide to myself this holiday season.
It’s peaceful to be single.
My neighbor is an emergency doctor. I bet you anything if I text him right now he would text me back within 30 minutes. And we’ve never even slept together lol. I also hate when people use “busy” or “working” as an excuse. That not only implies that they are the only one who is busy/ has a job, but it also implies that they are more busy/ more important than you are.
👆🏻yeah, this! I’m a pastry chef that works 10+ hours a day, on my feet constantly, in a fast-paced kitchen. I still find time to text my boyfriend THROUGHOUT the day - it’s not that hard..
Thank you for this, Shallon! What a wake-up call I needed. Lately I’ve really been thinking long and hard about what my standards are for a potential partner. I realized then that all the men I’ve been seeing lately have not been measuring up. For a while I was telling myself things like, “well they aren’t awful to me, so no reason to stop seeing them.” You’ve reminded me that just bc a man is decent doesn’t mean I should settle. Settling is no fun. I want it all and I deserve that bc I know I am an “A+” woman as you put it. Enjoy your stress-free holiday season!
Oh my godddd the same thing happened to me. I was dating this guy who would always magically disappear, for daysss at a time, because he "had work". Like bro we ALL work. Then, when he went on vacation with some friends, he told me before he left that he wouldn't be responding to me "because [he] wouldn't have any reception there". Obviously when he went I checked to see if he was online Facebook etc and low and behold he was online lol !!!.. but didn't send me a single message, of course. There is lots of reception in that vacation town as it is a TOURIST HUB so I knew he was gaslighting me.... just so unbelievable how these men can play their gaslighting games and think they'll get away with it.. I went absolutely ballistic when I thought he was ghosting me because we recently started sleeping together. After i went ballistic of course he had a reason to dump me and then proceeded to over text. What a piece of shit. I always think of getting revenge on him for his shitty behaviour but thus far have chosen to take the high road... blocked him and just moved on.
More power to you girl.
Don't give heed to this ma- no boy.
He thought he would get away w treating you like that.
Dumbfuxk
Eww- I hope for your next relationship you do not commit to anyone until you are married to them and date multiple people until you find the guy that offers you the most
You can’t punish more than he punished himself with his stupidity, chin up darling ☺️
His whole life is the punishment.
It’s 2021. No one goes without speaking to someone they are liking, dating or sleeping with for a week. If they act stupid, they are stupid.
Love these vulnerable videos! It really feels like slumber party talk with a galfriend
Shallon you did the right thing by dumping him. I've been in both the situation where I am busy and when my ex was super busy. When my ex was busy, I didn't hear from him for weeks. I thought that his behaviour was okay until I realised that I didn't matter him at all. Now, when I am busy with my career I don't have time for dudes. But, the difference between my ex and me is that I know am not available emotionally so I don't date till my career gets in the place where it should be. This way, at least I am not putting someone in the pain that I went through.
OMG shallon! This is actually my story too and I was so sad about it. The guy I was "dating" would not text me until like 4 pm or 7 pm. I was so annoyed. I told him I need more communication with him. He agreed on the phone but yet did not make the effort via text. Then he said he would call me but never did. I finally had to just move on. It hurt but I knew that even if we end up together, I would end up in a relationship where I would constantly feel anxious.
Kudos to you for defining and stating your needs and understanding it would be problematic later..good call
Good call
LOVE THE STORYTIMES!
I'm so happy you exist. I'm going through a break up now and even though it's not a loss and I am perfectly whole on my own, I still feel a lot of hurt. And binge watching your videos honestly reaffirm to me that I will waste my life (or at least a lot of time) being with someone who doesn't even meet the bare minimum. It sucks, but in the end I think I would be withholding myself from something better. So thank you, you are honestly helping me heal.
I think we need to talk about your idea of B+. Doesn’t call for 8 days straight, takes zero interest in your career, and talks to hear himself speak… that’s B+???
I think it’s about finding “the fit”. It’s not about love, it’s not about finding attraction, it’s not about finding success, it’s about finding the fit. It’s like shoe shopping! We’ve all bought the cute shoes that make you bleed . They’re cute for about a half a block. You have to find the shoe that fits - the one that goes with everything in your closet ;D
Merry Christmas, Shallon! 🤖
She said B-.
@@Gigi-kr7ki I'd honestly give him a C -. Knowing what your girlfriend does or is passionate about is the first thing that most people communicate about when in a relationship. Also if a man can't even follow you on social media that is weird. One of my friend's boyfriend made an Insta account just to follow my friend and write cute comments under her posts
There are some really important lessons in here. I've been the "Gavin" before and in my case it had nothing to do with animosity toward anyone etc. I just didn't feel a need to reach out. Which is why I choose to be alone, because I don't expect someone to put up with that. If you're someone who doesn't like to text or talk on the phone, and you're not ready to share a home, you have to decide. Do you wanna be in the game or not?
When u were talking about him a week ago, how he didn't ask u any questions, I knew it was over. U r way too vibrant for a dull man
Petition for more Shallon story times !!!!!!!!!!😭❤️
You weren’t his gf , if someone sleeps with you and wouldn’t call you for a week straight , you know it’s an arrangement for him to get laid .. about time you put a stop ✋🏼
I'm so sorry you had to deal with this Shallon, you don't deserve it! I get mad when the guy I'm dating doesn't text back in a matter of hours, and I told him when we were just friends that I drop a guy if he can't send a text in 24 hours and he has always texted me everyday since that, so maybe I should not get as irritated as I do lol. 8 freaking days?!?!?! Like dude you better be in a coma
I'm so with you on the not wanting to be bothered these holidays. Maybe it's pandemic fatigue but I just can't be arsed with presents or going all out like I normally would and it seems many of my friends and family members feel the same. So much so, that many of us have agreed to not get each other presents. A delicious meal and some drinks and we're calling it a day lol.
Thats so true about what you said about 'I feel bad' it's a saying to attempt to make the other person lower their guard when it should be the person who was wronged to 'FEEL' bad.
I dumped my husband because I got pregnant with an IUD place & the baby died … I had to go get the remains scraped out of me. He did not come to the hospital (I was septic) but brought a balloon from Safeway to my friends house who picked me up. “Why are you so upset? I thought you didn’t want babies?” I stared at him thinking, “If he’s not here for me with this, what happens for everything else????????? I never went back, I left all my clothes, everything. Good call Shallon
I'm sorry to hear that and sorry for your loss. That guy sounds insensitive and an A hole. Wishing you peace this holiday season.
To me, this would be less than a B- because even if someone shows up to every class (date) and does everything required of them while they’re in class, it still doesn’t amount to anything if the homework never gets done (texting you).
Everytime I watch a Shallon video, I gain more clarity and confidence on decisions I need to make
Good move. No loss. Sounds like he had a side-chick.
Merry Christmas, Shallon, and so many do not have a significant other.
We still rock. Hugs!🤗🤗💚❤💚💔
I think he did because same thing happened to me and he had another chick and several sidechicks he was entertaining on dating sites and FB etc
This describes my ex. He WAS busy, granted, but it became very clear that his job wasn’t the issue, it was lack of effort.
I had a similar situation happen to me a few years back. I’m a physician and at the time I was just finishing medical school. I was dating a guy for about 4 months at the time (he’s not a doctor but had a decent job). He would go without texting or calling for 7 days and I can remember all the anxiety that caused at the time. It eventually caused me to break up with him via text to which he never responded. So fast forward several years and he is now married to a flight attendant (not sure if she is even still working). I never thought this at the time, but I wonder now if he never really wanted a successful woman and felt better with someone who didn’t have as lucrative of a career. He was also a little odd in general looking back, I wonder now if he may even been on the spectrum. Anyway, breaking up with him was 100% the right choice and I think it is for you as well.
Also as a doctor I have time to text and call whoever I’m seeing. I may not always have time to see him but I definitely keep in contact.
Men don't care about women's careers that's a woman mentality. Maybe he feel in love with her as a person.
"I don't care if you're hosting a gay cabaret'...I literally laughed out loud...you are really funny Shallon, and not just in this video, but all the time. I love this about you. Merry Xmas!
Please make more vids like this, applying your advice to your personal life. It makes you so much more relatable and helps with our own experiences.
I would've said "if you have time to send me a picture of your keyboard, you have time to text me" lmao
Gavin sounded like...not for you. If it's not a fuck yeah it's a fuck no. NEXT!
I swear every video I watch either speaks to me directly or teaches me something ❤
Yep. Not over his Ex. When a guy is over a girl, he stops thinking about her and he stops talking about her.
You absolutely did the right thing! You got the machete out just in time! Very smart. He wasn't invested. I'm sure you're correct about his ex. Risk upsetting others to keep peace with yourself, and it's important to have peace at the holidays. Being alone is not a curse. When you know your value, you unlock your freedom. Another great video!! Happy Holidays!
As a doctor in the peak of residency, I can say with confidence, that we have a LOT of free time to text. Only the weird pathological doctors use working as an excuse. It’s good you ditched him, it would’ve been a slippery slope and shows a lot about someone’s character.
Can you make a video about your marriage? You've only ever spoken so positively about him whenever he's been brought up.
Oh, I love that line...'there's nothing more beta that a man who holds a woman to a standard he can't meet.' Lol Love it. ❤ Oh, I'm in an unbothered state too. Merry Christmas everyone! Thanks Shallon 😊
My number one red flag and actually biggest turn off is them talking about their exes and ranting ... Run Forestttt.
I'm not really sure why you're expecting a guy who works at a hospital to be super available by text during work. It seems unrealistic. Or he has a work wife.
Shallon do more story-times give us the real tea please!!!
Being single sucks sometimes but it's way better than being in a crummy (or just B-) relationship! Enjoy the holidays and keep the door open for a great guy to come in.
As my favorite UA-camr, I find you very interesting. I love your advice! I wouldn't have a problem listening to you..sounds like you are better off without this man. He clearly needs therapy and needs to learn the signs of a con artist. Instead of being bitter and spewing it out onto the next person he dates
Probably better to wait months to sleep with a dude until you really get to know them ....good for you for standing up for yourself you deserve so much better
I do not think blocking him was petty at all. It showed restraint! If he responded negatively, like you said, you could easily have destroyed his ego or said something petty. It was better to be done cleanly and block!!!!
Oh Shallon, I'm so grateful for this video. I've been going through a similar situation and it's not the first time this year 😫😫 I'm so tired of dumping these guys' mediocre asses
Shallon, you are living your BEST Kourtney Kardashian self right now!!!! Giving off her Energy to a tea!!! Girl, LIVE!!!!!
This reminds me of when you made a previous video about how people are afraid to log data points about a guy because they are afraid of what they will find. The truth sometimes is such a difficult pill to swallow. But it's clear in your case ( and you've emphasized this ) that you're not afraid of what you'll find because, in any event, you have your own back. You love and respect yourself. Self-love is the foundation for everything :)
You do deserve way more, way more, a true A+ man, Believe it!
Tho I have a comment on that dude from experience , it seems to me one of those guys that get slightly intimidated by you because you are obviously great and greatly value by others, they can sense it so they try to ignore everything you are, hence not even following on Instagram, because the don't wanna confirm that you are in fact great and that they can't meet you there, and not because they are incapable(some of them actually never heal tho)but they are just not there emotionally, they are still broken, so you just gotta leave, up to the next, one who can value all of you and that has valued himself too.
I hear you girl... I'm recently single for the holidays too and so relieved! Now I can just do me and not have to think about someone else🤣💖🎄
Why the fuck wouldn't he *want* to talk to someone he likes?? What, did he have to lock his phone in his boss's office every day? If a guy doesn't miss us and want to talk to us he can go in the trash. He sounds super self-centered. Lmao when I saw the thumbnail, I was like "oh good! 😊"
Dang!!! Loved this story!!! You go girl!!!! Find that A++++++
I’m anti clingyness to the max and it’s completely unacceptable to go 8 days without talking to the person you’re dating/sleeping with. Even if it’s a text saying I’m exhausted from work and just am going to bed. Like him not even willing to do a few exchanges through text messages is absolutely ridiculous. You made the right choice
I’m glad I’m single during the holidays, I don’t have to deal with the stress of meeting his family or bringing him to meet mine and buying a gift and all that other shit lol. I can focus on myself and my family 😊
Sorry to hear about your not-so plus A bf who missed to see your awesomeness.
Glad that you’re able to let go instead of settling for a meh and beta connection from a man who can’t be 100% with you.
Happy holidays to you and every awesome souls in here. 🌲🥳
I love this title so much. AHAHAHHAH
"good is the enemy of great" Shallon
Girl I love you…this video encompasses what I go through on a regular basis. I’m getting used to being alone because I’m done dealing with that BS and looking like a desperate fool
“Don’t put a question mark where I put a period” I love this quote 👏👏