Most of our suffering comes from refusing to accept reality. There is tremendous relief when you finally truly accept something. Even if it's not what you want.
SO WISE and so true. Once we accept something we can form a plan to either get our needs met in another way, or just move forward without the thing or person.
True denial is not an act of will. It’s a protective mechanism that the mind deploys till you’re strong enough to endure the pain. What threshold a person has for reality depends on the factors beyond the scope of this video. The more the shock or betrayal is above the persons threshold or they’ve built a stronghold of conflicting expectations, the more the mind will interfere with protective strategies.
God removed someone from your life because he heard the conversations you didn't, saw things you couldn't, and made moves you wouldn't. I love that quote!
Two years after splitting with my husband and I could still cry daily if I let myself think about how much I miss him. It’s comforting to me to just realize I’ll love him till the day I die. And it’s true that you learn to live with the sadness.
Im going trough a devastating heartbreak right now. it’s such a lonely and depressing time for me, but hearing your advice and listening to your voice makes me feel like there is a bigger sister by my side. Thank you so much.
This is good advice Shallon. Once I accepted that I couldn't have the man I wanted, he became my secret super power, there is nothing that I can be denied that will hurt me more than losing him. I feel, in a strange way, invincible to heartbreak. I feel wiser, stronger, more independent. If I can live without him, I can live without any man. Try me.
For me, when I'm hurt by a man in a romantic relationship, I reflect back to the pain I have endured from losing my Dad suddenly to a heart attack. It was 21 years ago but it was the worst pain I have ever felt. I was it my late 20s and basically curled up in a ball devastated for 2 months. Not kidding. What has been interesting is that any heartbreak or minor ghosting or rejection I've had since is easily put in perspective. I remember that level of pain I felt all those years ago and since then, anything less seems trivial - especially from some dude who doesn't even care for me! Hell...I survived the loss of someone who DID love me...why would I grieve being rejected by someone, anyone, who doesn't? It could even be rejection in a work situation, or with a platonic friend. But no matter what it is - I've been through worse. Once you lose someone you love more than your own life, all these men and their games, or coworkers, or whomever all just becomes so much less painful. Perspective like this, however, usually and unfortunately is something that only comes after a major loss, but that perspective is a gift. I would trade that perspective to have my Dad back in a second - no question, but since that isn't possible, I at least have gained a little something good and useful from it.
A quote I once read said it best: If you really loved someone, you will never stop loving them. If you did stop loving them, then you never loved them. You may not love them in the way you use to, but you'll always have a feeling you can't deny. “True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does” ― Torquato Tasso
That’s interesting, and I do think there’s a lot of truth to it. But I also think so much of the people that we love is based on where we are in our own lives, and those seasons change, and therefore our needs change too. Think about other things we love - our favorite food when were a kid, our favorite toy - that changes as we get older, and it doesn’t mean we didn’t love it then, it just means that season ended
I needed this. I got broken up with about a month ago. We dated for 3 years, lived together, had a cat together, broken up before once. i feel scamed out of my love if that makes sense. I know he wasnt my person but I just wanna sleep and wake up when these feelings have stopped.
Same here, but we were together for 5 years and had a dog. I feel you but the quicker, the better. It is good to find time for ourselves now. To dive Deep into what we actually feel and want! Best wishes!
I never cried this hard listening to any of your videos. It was that cleansing, much needed cry you have when you finally feel seen and understood after such a long and miserable time of trying to pick yourself up but failing every day after a breakup. What a relief! Thank you, Shallon, for doing what you do. I think it's safe to say you have saved a lot of us from going under. 🙏 Love you!
I’ve accepted that you never really stop loving someone. We all will have at least one person that we will always hold in our heart. With my first true love I was so certain that he was my soulmate, many years later I know it had to be true. There is more potential soulmates, many people I can build happy relationship with. It’s ok.
THIS! MY first love will always have a place in my heart. Sure im no longer in love with him and i wouldnt want to go back to him but im thankful it happened and i will always think of him fondly and with a warm heart. People will change the course of your life and who you are and embracing that and accepting that it means they wont always be a part of your life is incredibly freeing.
I just LOVE you Shallon. Why? Because I am a flight attendant and you are the child of one and there is a pain in having your Mom leave regularly that creates the strongest, deepest character that no one can understand unless you’ve been there. A child doesn’t understand constant abandonment. Your advice is always spot on and helps me more than you can know. You cannot escape suffering in life, even if you’re Adele. Embrace it, and like the waves of the ocean, you never know what beautiful shells might wash up when you’re on the beach just trying to catch a tan. Thank you.🙏🏽❤️
She’s right guys 🤣🤣🤣 I did this I legit remember telling myself that man was my one and only and there wasn’t anyone else. Funny enough a year later I healed and moved on now I don’t feel like that anymore but I acknowledge that I felt like that THEN and it’s what got me here now.
One of the best videos!!! Everyone was telling me I was overreacting with how painful I felt after "the soulmate" cheated on me... So I felt guilty about that on top of it. The minute I talked to a therapist and she told me, just accept it... It's part of life I slowly managed to let go of the gilt I was feeling for feeling hurt and betrayed and that's it it was in the end.xx
I found out my bf had been cheating on me yet again, this time while I was pregnant. Before I found out we both decided it was best we wait for a better time to have a kid. But the heartbreak is real. I love everything about that man, sadly by evidence of his infidelity, I wasn’t his person. I’m torn and it’ll take me a very long time to trust men again and believe in love. Thank you Shallon
@isabella lora im 29 and he’s 42 . He was also my first bf at 24 so I think it’ll be a harder bond to break. Thank you all for your kind and encouraging comments :(
Omg!!! This came at the absolute perfect time! I've been trying to get over my ex-husband of 20 years who got back together with a married ex-girlfriend of his. Like Adele, the divorce was a long time coming but it hurts especially because I feel stupid, foolish, and ashamed. I know 'this too shall pass', it just sucks when you're in the downy dumps. It's such a comfort to know that you're not alone and maybe not even stupid but rather human.
Shallon: I think this is THE BEST ADVICE you've ever given us. WOW... To surrender to the pain is to RELEASE the pain. It is so hard to accept, but once we do, the battle is over.
I totally get it! Just went through a mini breakup (4 months) and I was just a mess and I felt so embarrassed to feel that way after such a short amount of time. Its been 2 months now and I'm not feeling as bad, but I'm still not feeling fabulous either. The heart is truly an asshole 😂
Beautifully said. I got over a terrible heart break when I decided I was not going to feel stupid anymore for falling for somebody who never gave 2 cents about me. I decided to create my own closure and I told myself there is nothing wrong in loving a person and opening my heart to give love, and that speaks of my character. Accepting love from somebody you don’t care for and leading them on just enough to take advantage speaks of his character. I had nothing to be ashamed of, I loved fully and unconditionally and that makes me the better person. Like you, I am a narcissist so I had to find something to love myself even more from that situation 😁. And to my great surprise, it worked. Indifference towards that person is what I feel now, which is beautifully liberating. It also allowed me to open up for love again, I have been married for 12 years and very happy at the moment.
This is so true. Once I started telling myself my future is going to be great even without him in it I started feeling better. I still love him and have my moments but practicing the art of detachment has made me so much better
I did this exact thing. Leaned into it and accepted that I feel that way and would never get over it. After that, my mind was free and I actually got over it. Went on a couple of dates and they actually went great!
Shallon, I’m going through exactly that. Day 1 misery every single day for months now. + not being able to distract myself from it since I have COVID and am completely isolated from everything. I just want the pain to end but it lives inside my body, it consumes me. Thank you for this video, it genuinely gives me hope.
My theory is that Adele was going through growth physically, spiritually and emotionally and her partner wasn’t willing to grow with her so they ultimately grew apart.
omg this is healing my heart sooooo much😩 I’m laughing my ass off when you said he was only 5’3 because my ex is 5’6 and I’m 5’8, and he had the audacity to cheat on me
Shallon, you have no idea how much I needed this. My relationship ended 4 months ago and sometimes I still have a hard time with it. I've been feeling like I should be over it by now and couldn't figure out why I'm not. It never occurred to me that it's okay to accept that I still love him. I feel like I've been trying to repress it or convince myself otherwise, but I just can't.
My God you're so honest. With yourself. You're so brave to sweep the false well intended cliches into the bin and say the truth to yourself come what may. It's so hard to be honest. So easy to cling to settling for being sensible. You're whole if you let yourself be yourself - come what may.
I’ve been trying to get over my first real heartbreak for a couple months now and this helps validate everything I’ve been feeling! I am usually very careful and logical when dating but with him I thought he was destined for me and have been feeling very stupid for feeling that way. Thank you for your vulnerability it helps more than you know! ❤️❤️
Thank you so much Shallon. I just broke up with my boyfriend of seven years this weekend due to lack of commitment, mammas boy and incompatibility. I know now I deserve better. I’ve been watching your videos the minute I wake up for three years now, thanks to my mom recommending you. You’re doing work that’s healing and helping people with your past experiences. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your guidance.💖
Im going through a fresh breakup and this video really helped. I’m hoping Im able to get back to myself soon but I’m the moment it’s hard to keep waking up and facing the same reality. Thank you for your videos ❤️
I think it may have been her first huge heartbreak. People speculate that she lost her virginity to him as well (just speculations and interpretations of certain lyrics).
When she was talking about the bass player that is EXACTLY how I feel about my ex ): chemistry on fire everything was perfect . Thank you for these videos
This is such a smart move. I'd rather be disappointed and not surprised because I already anticipated this, than just heartbroken, missing him and being irregular with myself! Think about it....when you're just disappointed, you don't miss a goddamn thing about the relationship, you'd just wish things weren't like this, kinda of like a pity situation.
hey shallon, its been a while since i was on your channel, when i was in 9th grade abt to start highschool i would binge your videos to become a better version of myself, in 10th grade after my first "breakup" and now in 12th grade after my second one. This one was definitely the worst, he was my first love, and best friend for 1 year, we dated for 5-4 months, it was magical. He was my every first (except for kiss and marriage), and then he began getting distant. A month later, he said he wanted to end things. I was devastated, still am. I think you're right, I'll never get over him, itll always hurt, knowing it was meant to be but he left cuz he lost interest for no reason. I loved him more and more everyday, and I will still. but that doesnt mean my life will stop for him, ill keep studying and working hard, even if ill be forever heartbroken. i love him so much
The fact that you chose that song at your wedding said everything… your subconscious knew you would fall apart… you knew this was the love story this would come to. You faced the fall off your relationship standing tall…
Leave him alone for a month. Go on a date, maybe sleep with him once, then say a couple days later “I would like to keep seeing you, if that’s something you would also be interested in”. Then talk. Then see how things play out…
Adele. She did it. Happy to hear that she is healing from her divorce. Radical acceptance to what is is freeing and healing. Choose what makes your soul happy inside out. Because. You deserve it all. It is so important to have amazing art that makes us remember JOY, inner peace, love, and abundance. ❤️🖼
Oh, Shallon this is one of your best videos yet. I know I always say that, but its true! This one in particular resonates so much with me. It's been exactly 1 year since I broke up with my on-again-off-again boyfriend who was my FIRST relationship. Like you with Matt, I too thought he was the love of my life. And let me tell you, to this day I *still* miss him and and *still* am attracted to him. In the past I have purposely sought out all the things that reminded me of him just to bring back all the memories. (and still do sometimes) But JUST LIKE YOU SAID, ...one day I finally said to a counselor: "I'll love him forever." And it was like a huge weight had finally been lifted off me. I don't think of him AS much, and I don't feel that ardent longing when I do. I went out with a guy I met on Hinge this week not even thinking much of it- I was just happy to be going out, ....and it was the BEST date I've had in a while that ended with a kiss. :) Thank you for being you.
This happened to me with my "twinflame"...never together, he was married, nothing but it felt like a divorce. 4 years and then I had enough of feeling like...deathly on the ground...I just couldnt do this tragedy anymore...and from then on I look at relationships logically. The magic is gone. I feel like a robot and now Im not desperate for any guy anymore..Im ok being alone...can be alone forever...
That thing you said about becoming Rihanna when you're looking for no one is sooooo true!!!the whole video was spot on! After my college boyfriend who was also my hurtlocker broke up with me, I was crushed. I had a teaching job that summer and I remember crying during all my breaks between classes, I almost lost that job thanks to that douche. My friends kept asking me to go on some dates or at least a group meeting and I kept refusing saying I wouldn't betray him and I'm just gonna love him forever and no one is ever gonna compare to him(eyeroll I know🙄) after a couple months I finally agreed to go to a 6 to 6 group meeting with my girl friends with the state of mind that nothing is gonna come out of this and I'm still loving my ex forever.Turned out 4 of the 6 guys there asked for my number and wanted to date me!! I ended up dating two of those guys and around the same time my ex came back saying what a mistake he's made and so on, I made the mistake of getting back together with him but that's another story to tell🙄 I don't know what it is with guys but they seem to just smell it when a girl doesn't NEED them and it turns on their inner competition mode or something to make that girl want them
I need Shallon and you others to here this! I was in a soulmate situation just like she was. It did not work out. I missed them and was emotionally attached for years. And they came back and suddenly I was over them. Still I will love them forever. But! They were only that amazing because of me. Only together the whole thing had that much chemistry. Like putting a little bit of salt in a sweet cake dough, which makes its taste go through the roof. Forever Persons are not real, only in combination with you they truly manifest. Without you the equation won’t work, as you see how they behave outside of the ideal pairing: wrong, ordinary and even a bit disgusting. And that is what I realized. My Soulmate is amazing because of me and that de-mystified everything. TLDR: You realize how ordinary they are and that it was your love and energy that made them unique!
But it's the saddest kind of love, though. It's like a flower button withering and never getting a chance to bloom. I've had to love from afar my entire life because none of the guys I've loved have loved me back. You really do start feeling like a pointless existence after a few years, not gonna lie.
I‘m from Germany and found your Channel… its the best Channel i ever watched😂 and the Scenario with the „Ghostman“ i was there.. I have tried to trick my mind 🧠
The worst is, "Oh, I didn't know you were having problems." We weren't - my husband ghosted me after 9 years. Went to visit his family and I never heard from him again. I like to assume he died. At least that's an excuse.
Only thing I would say is that when I’ve told myself I would love a guy forever, it was something I genuinely thought in the rage of my feelings and heart break but I think it’s impossible to love them the same years down the line as your memory of them fades or changes into something that it once wasn’t.
Girl I felt all of this. Just got suddenly dumped a month ago. Like our love was beautiful but I guess it just didn't work. There isn't a second of the day where I don't miss him.
That happened to me. I allowed it to happen to me. Once I decided I was done, for various good reasons, I met my husband. And I wasn't looking for anything. I was finally emotionally free.
4 years together and I was replaced after a few months like I never existed. Flaunting her left, right and centre on social media and I'm the horrible one apparently. Wow.
Great video as ever Shallon. Could you cover the loss of a close loved one and grief please? I don’t think you’ve covered it before. Thank you very much
I did it too recently. I fell in love. I can't and don't want to force anything. Yes, it's not a perfect situation, but. I let it be my sweet november. It is what it is. No one can make me stop loving him. It really feels so free and comfortable.
Most of our suffering comes from refusing to accept reality. There is tremendous relief when you finally truly accept something. Even if it's not what you want.
Yep that is very true
Golden words of wisdom! Thank you. I've got to read this again and again. Like maybe hang it up on my wall.
I have been married for 30 years and it is not all roses it takes work! But very rewarding as well!
SO WISE and so true. Once we accept something we can form a plan to either get our needs met in another way, or just move forward without the thing or person.
True denial is not an act of will. It’s a protective mechanism that the mind deploys till you’re strong enough to endure the pain. What threshold a person has for reality depends on the factors beyond the scope of this video. The more the shock or betrayal is above the persons threshold or they’ve built a stronghold of conflicting expectations, the more the mind will interfere with protective strategies.
God removed someone from your life because he heard the conversations you didn't, saw things you couldn't, and made moves you wouldn't. I love that quote!
Two years after splitting with my husband and I could still cry daily if I let myself think about how much I miss him. It’s comforting to me to just realize I’ll love him till the day I die. And it’s true that you learn to live with the sadness.
Oh naaah 😭
You will find a greater love, sometimes things are not as great as we remember and distance makes u miss things more than u normally would
It took me many years to get over the heartache and betrayal of my ex husband. You are not alone. It will get better.
You will find greater love, I thought I'd never get over my ex but Ive moved on to a better love that is far more nourishing for my soul.
Sooo true once you accept it, it is easier to deal with. But never get over it. You wonder how the world can be so cold.
Im going trough a devastating heartbreak right now. it’s such a lonely and depressing time for me, but hearing your advice and listening to your voice makes me feel like there is a bigger sister by my side. Thank you so much.
Hope your healing process is going well
This is good advice Shallon. Once I accepted that I couldn't have the man I wanted, he became my secret super power, there is nothing that I can be denied that will hurt me more than losing him. I feel, in a strange way, invincible to heartbreak. I feel wiser, stronger, more independent. If I can live without him, I can live without any man. Try me.
For me, when I'm hurt by a man in a romantic relationship, I reflect back to the pain I have endured from losing my Dad suddenly to a heart attack. It was 21 years ago but it was the worst pain I have ever felt. I was it my late 20s and basically curled up in a ball devastated for 2 months. Not kidding. What has been interesting is that any heartbreak or minor ghosting or rejection I've had since is easily put in perspective. I remember that level of pain I felt all those years ago and since then, anything less seems trivial - especially from some dude who doesn't even care for me! Hell...I survived the loss of someone who DID love me...why would I grieve being rejected by someone, anyone, who doesn't? It could even be rejection in a work situation, or with a platonic friend. But no matter what it is - I've been through worse. Once you lose someone you love more than your own life, all these men and their games, or coworkers, or whomever all just becomes so much less painful. Perspective like this, however, usually and unfortunately is something that only comes after a major loss, but that perspective is a gift. I would trade that perspective to have my Dad back in a second - no question, but since that isn't possible, I at least have gained a little something good and useful from it.
@npkrn6764 thank you for sharing this. You are loved and so is your dad. ♥️♥️♥️
A quote I once read said it best: If you really loved someone, you will never stop loving them. If you did stop loving them, then you never loved them. You may not love them in the way you use to, but you'll always have a feeling you can't deny. “True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does”
― Torquato Tasso
That’s interesting, and I do think there’s a lot of truth to it. But I also think so much of the people that we love is based on where we are in our own lives, and those seasons change, and therefore our needs change too. Think about other things we love - our favorite food when were a kid, our favorite toy - that changes as we get older, and it doesn’t mean we didn’t love it then, it just means that season ended
@@shallonlester 100 agree with this..
I’m not particularly interested in Adele but I can’t miss one of Shallons lessons 📝🤓💖
Same!
Saame!
Same! I watch every analysis regardless of if I feel like they apply to my life at the time or not. They’re always fascinating!
She’s an amazing orator
This is the best piece of heartbreak advice I’ve ever heard in my life.
I needed this. I got broken up with about a month ago. We dated for 3 years, lived together, had a cat together, broken up before once. i feel scamed out of my love if that makes sense. I know he wasnt my person but I just wanna sleep and wake up when these feelings have stopped.
Same here only we had a dog 💔
Same here, but we were together for 5 years and had a dog. I feel you but the quicker, the better. It is good to find time for ourselves now. To dive Deep into what we actually feel and want! Best wishes!
Im in the exact same situation
Same story same timeline - no animals - he couldn’t accept being a step dad he wanted his own family. he broke up our engagement.
Same - on/off for 10 years and a doggo too. Sending you all love and positive thoughts 🤍
I never cried this hard listening to any of your videos. It was that cleansing, much needed cry you have when you finally feel seen and understood after such a long and miserable time of trying to pick yourself up but failing every day after a breakup.
What a relief! Thank you, Shallon, for doing what you do. I think it's safe to say you have saved a lot of us from going under. 🙏
Love you!
“Can you not smell him from here?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’ve accepted that you never really stop loving someone. We all will have at least one person that we will always hold in our heart. With my first true love I was so certain that he was my soulmate, many years later I know it had to be true. There is more potential soulmates, many people I can build happy relationship with. It’s ok.
THIS! MY first love will always have a place in my heart. Sure im no longer in love with him and i wouldnt want to go back to him but im thankful it happened and i will always think of him fondly and with a warm heart. People will change the course of your life and who you are and embracing that and accepting that it means they wont always be a part of your life is incredibly freeing.
I just LOVE you Shallon. Why? Because I am a flight attendant and you are the child of one and there is a pain in having your Mom leave regularly that creates the strongest, deepest character that no one can understand unless you’ve been there. A child doesn’t understand constant abandonment. Your advice is always spot on and helps me more than you can know. You cannot escape suffering in life, even if you’re Adele. Embrace it, and like the waves of the ocean, you never know what beautiful shells might wash up when you’re on the beach just trying to catch a tan. Thank you.🙏🏽❤️
She’s right guys 🤣🤣🤣 I did this I legit remember telling myself that man was my one and only and there wasn’t anyone else. Funny enough a year later I healed and moved on now I don’t feel like that anymore but I acknowledge that I felt like that THEN and it’s what got me here now.
This is the most vulnerable yet powerful content you've posted, imho
your just so ridiculously good with words, it amazes me every time
I love how raw and real you are. You put all those complicated/heavy feelings into words so perfectly. Go Shallon ❤️
Ugh trying SO hard to save this for tomorrow when I've got cleaning to do and need to listen to the gospel of Shallon 😭
Yeah…I can’t wait either!
I just broke up with my bf a few days ago 😭💔😭 it was becoming way too toxic and I decided to choose my mental health above all else. Still sad tho.
One of the best videos!!! Everyone was telling me I was overreacting with how painful I felt after "the soulmate" cheated on me... So I felt guilty about that on top of it. The minute I talked to a therapist and she told me, just accept it... It's part of life I slowly managed to let go of the gilt I was feeling for feeling hurt and betrayed and that's it it was in the end.xx
I’m crying sometimes as you return to your memories and notice you mention your ex hubby every anniversary you’re a gem Shallon
I found out my bf had been cheating on me yet again, this time while I was pregnant. Before I found out we both decided it was best we wait for a better time to have a kid. But the heartbreak is real. I love everything about that man, sadly by evidence of his infidelity, I wasn’t his person. I’m torn and it’ll take me a very long time to trust men again and believe in love. Thank you Shallon
:((( I’m so sorry 😥 how old are you both?
I hope you take care of yourself especially mentally. Stay strong
@isabella lora im 29 and he’s 42 . He was also my first bf at 24 so I think it’ll be a harder bond to break. Thank you all for your kind and encouraging comments :(
I always drop everything I'm doing whenever Shallon posts - might not be something to be happy about but I just do 💕
This video is so accurate. ♡ Shallon really understands how we feel and I like how she didn't downplay short relationships!
this was one of the most helpful videos ever. i felt like you were talking about me specifically. thank you 🥺
Omg!!! This came at the absolute perfect time! I've been trying to get over my ex-husband of 20 years who got back together with a married ex-girlfriend of his. Like Adele, the divorce was a long time coming but it hurts especially because I feel stupid, foolish, and ashamed. I know 'this too shall pass', it just sucks when you're in the downy dumps. It's such a comfort to know that you're not alone and maybe not even stupid but rather human.
Shallon: I think this is THE BEST ADVICE you've ever given us. WOW... To surrender to the pain is to RELEASE the pain. It is so hard to accept, but once we do, the battle is over.
I totally get it! Just went through a mini breakup (4 months) and I was just a mess and I felt so embarrassed to feel that way after such a short amount of time. Its been 2 months now and I'm not feeling as bad, but I'm still not feeling fabulous either. The heart is truly an asshole 😂
Yes me too! It was a short relationship but it still hurts.
Beautifully said. I got over a terrible heart break when I decided I was not going to feel stupid anymore for falling for somebody who never gave 2 cents about me. I decided to create my own closure and I told myself there is nothing wrong in loving a person and opening my heart to give love, and that speaks of my character. Accepting love from somebody you don’t care for and leading them on just enough to take advantage speaks of his character. I had nothing to be ashamed of, I loved fully and unconditionally and that makes me the better person. Like you, I am a narcissist so I had to find something to love myself even more from that situation 😁. And to my great surprise, it worked. Indifference towards that person is what I feel now, which is beautifully liberating. It also allowed me to open up for love again, I have been married for 12 years and very happy at the moment.
This is so true. Once I started telling myself my future is going to be great even without him in it I started feeling better. I still love him and have my moments but practicing the art of detachment has made me so much better
I did this exact thing. Leaned into it and accepted that I feel that way and would never get over it. After that, my mind was free and I actually got over it. Went on a couple of dates and they actually went great!
Shallon, I’m going through exactly that. Day 1 misery every single day for months now. + not being able to distract myself from it since I have COVID and am completely isolated from everything. I just want the pain to end but it lives inside my body, it consumes me. Thank you for this video, it genuinely gives me hope.
Feel better.
Pleaaaaasee pleasseee do a video on Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhall
My theory is that Adele was going through growth physically, spiritually and emotionally and her partner wasn’t willing to grow with her so they ultimately grew apart.
omg this is healing my heart sooooo much😩 I’m laughing my ass off when you said he was only 5’3 because my ex is 5’6 and I’m 5’8, and he had the audacity to cheat on me
Shallon, you have no idea how much I needed this. My relationship ended 4 months ago and sometimes I still have a hard time with it. I've been feeling like I should be over it by now and couldn't figure out why I'm not. It never occurred to me that it's okay to accept that I still love him. I feel like I've been trying to repress it or convince myself otherwise, but I just can't.
Love how honest and raw Adele is about being a single/separated mom. Ladies, the baby daddy YOU chose is the most important decision in your lives.
My God you're so honest. With yourself. You're so brave to sweep the false well intended cliches into the bin and say the truth to yourself come what may. It's so hard to be honest. So easy to cling to settling for being sensible. You're whole if you let yourself be yourself - come what may.
I watched all of your videos and I really never give comments, but really, this was the BEST video you have ever made!
Ending a 23 year marriage .. ending toxic cycles .. I never fail at anything . That’s why I stayed for so long . Lesson learned . Me volume 2 ❤️
I’ve been trying to get over my first real heartbreak for a couple months now and this helps validate everything I’ve been feeling! I am usually very careful and logical when dating but with him I thought he was destined for me and have been feeling very stupid for feeling that way. Thank you for your vulnerability it helps more than you know! ❤️❤️
Thank you so much Shallon. I just broke up with my boyfriend of seven years this weekend due to lack of commitment, mammas boy and incompatibility. I know now I deserve better. I’ve been watching your videos the minute I wake up for three years now, thanks to my mom recommending you. You’re doing work that’s healing and helping people with your past experiences. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your guidance.💖
Even being from the UK im still always shocked when adele speaks 😂 shes so down to earth!
Everything you say is so relatable, no one know how much you hurt except you, it’s double painful
10:50 is super relatable . I’ve felt like this about one person for 5+ years 😅
Im going through a fresh breakup and this video really helped. I’m hoping Im able to get back to myself soon but I’m the moment it’s hard to keep waking up and facing the same reality. Thank you for your videos ❤️
Will you cover Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal? She seemed really torn over him even tho they were only together for like 1 month
I think it may have been her first huge heartbreak. People speculate that she lost her virginity to him as well (just speculations and interpretations of certain lyrics).
I think she lost it to John Mayer, which is infinitely worse. 😩
I actually do have a video on this, how to get over a guy you never really dated, because those are the ones that last forever in terms of pain
When she was talking about the bass player that is EXACTLY how I feel about my ex ): chemistry on fire everything was perfect . Thank you for these videos
I appreciate your vulnerability, candor and honesty. And humor lol.
This is such a smart move. I'd rather be disappointed and not surprised because I already anticipated this, than just heartbroken, missing him and being irregular with myself! Think about it....when you're just disappointed, you don't miss a goddamn thing about the relationship, you'd just wish things weren't like this, kinda of like a pity situation.
You won’t even believe how much this helped me. Thank you so much
This might be one of my favorite videos of yours ✨
Oh Shallon, I thought you were telling my story.This lesson was so good and exactly what I have found to be true! Thank you 😊 💓
shallon always here to save the day
Sending love from Tel Aviv! So cool to see you promoting an Israeli gallery! ❤️ Loved this video too!
hey shallon, its been a while since i was on your channel, when i was in 9th grade abt to start highschool i would binge your videos to become a better version of myself, in 10th grade after my first "breakup" and now in 12th grade after my second one. This one was definitely the worst, he was my first love, and best friend for 1 year, we dated for 5-4 months, it was magical. He was my every first (except for kiss and marriage), and then he began getting distant. A month later, he said he wanted to end things. I was devastated, still am. I think you're right, I'll never get over him, itll always hurt, knowing it was meant to be but he left cuz he lost interest for no reason. I loved him more and more everyday, and I will still. but that doesnt mean my life will stop for him, ill keep studying and working hard, even if ill be forever heartbroken.
i love him so much
Loving your high ponytail today queen ❤️
The fact that you chose that song at your wedding said everything… your subconscious knew you would fall apart… you knew this was the love story this would come to. You faced the fall off your relationship standing tall…
The way Shallon always throws in "gove-nah!" with her British accent gets me every time!! 😂👏💖
Hey, Shal!💗💋 Adele seems so strong now!💪🏾 Good for her🥂 Sometimes the best way to get through is to know you can and that the journey was about love💕
Incredible love for this video, thank you so much Shallon! I feel my heart again 💜
Shallon, I would love to see a video about how to get a guy back if YOU broke up with HIM and you regret it
I actually think I have a few on this! Check my breakups & broken hearts playlist!
Leave him alone for a month. Go on a date, maybe sleep with him once, then say a couple days later “I would like to keep seeing you, if that’s something you would also be interested in”. Then talk. Then see how things play out…
Shallon! This was great advice. Radical acceptance is ittttttttt. thank you, thank you, thank you
Adele. She did it. Happy to hear that she is healing from her divorce.
Radical acceptance to what is is freeing and healing.
Choose what makes your soul happy inside out. Because. You deserve it all.
It is so important to have amazing art that makes us remember JOY, inner peace, love, and abundance. ❤️🖼
Can you do a vid on the Taylor situation? Maybe in Jake’s POV when an ex can’t get over you?
Oh, Shallon this is one of your best videos yet. I know I always say that, but its true! This one in particular resonates
so much with me.
It's been exactly 1 year since I broke up with my on-again-off-again boyfriend who was my FIRST relationship.
Like you with Matt, I too thought he was the love of my life. And let me tell you, to this day I *still* miss him and
and *still* am attracted to him. In the past I have purposely sought out all the things that reminded me of him just to bring
back all the memories. (and still do sometimes)
But JUST LIKE YOU SAID, ...one day I finally said to a counselor: "I'll love him forever."
And it was like a huge weight had finally been lifted off me. I don't think of him AS much, and I don't feel that ardent
longing when I do.
I went out with a guy I met on Hinge this week not even thinking much of it- I was just happy to be going out, ....and
it was the BEST date I've had in a while that ended with a kiss. :)
Thank you for being you.
This happened to me with my "twinflame"...never together, he was married, nothing but it felt like a divorce. 4 years and then I had enough of feeling like...deathly on the ground...I just couldnt do this tragedy anymore...and from then on I look at relationships logically. The magic is gone. I feel like a robot and now Im not desperate for any guy anymore..Im ok being alone...can be alone forever...
always wanna give you the biggest hug when you talk about your ex husband. love you shallon thanks for being a big sis to us all❤️
That thing you said about becoming Rihanna when you're looking for no one is sooooo true!!!the whole video was spot on!
After my college boyfriend who was also my hurtlocker broke up with me, I was crushed. I had a teaching job that summer and I remember crying during all my breaks between classes, I almost lost that job thanks to that douche. My friends kept asking me to go on some dates or at least a group meeting and I kept refusing saying I wouldn't betray him and I'm just gonna love him forever and no one is ever gonna compare to him(eyeroll I know🙄)
after a couple months I finally agreed to go to a 6 to 6 group meeting with my girl friends with the state of mind that nothing is gonna come out of this and I'm still loving my ex forever.Turned out 4 of the 6 guys there asked for my number and wanted to date me!! I ended up dating two of those guys and around the same time my ex came back saying what a mistake he's made and so on, I made the mistake of getting back together with him but that's another story to tell🙄
I don't know what it is with guys but they seem to just smell it when a girl doesn't NEED them and it turns on their inner competition mode or something to make that girl want them
I need Shallon and you others to here this! I was in a soulmate situation just like she was. It did not work out. I missed them and was emotionally attached for years. And they came back and suddenly I was over them. Still I will love them forever. But! They were only that amazing because of me. Only together the whole thing had that much chemistry. Like putting a little bit of salt in a sweet cake dough, which makes its taste go through the roof.
Forever Persons are not real, only in combination with you they truly manifest. Without you the equation won’t work, as you see how they behave outside of the ideal pairing: wrong, ordinary and even a bit disgusting. And that is what I realized. My Soulmate is amazing because of me and that de-mystified everything.
TLDR: You realize how ordinary they are and that it was your love and energy that made them unique!
What a beautiful thought!
I lived in NYC for 19 years...I am in Lakeside,TX...I feel you🤠
Hi I really enjoyed this thank you. Btw I started crying because the art behind you is so beautiful 😍 if you did it. Wow amazing 🦋🧝🏼♀️🐞🙏🏼
So true, when you learn to love from a distance you’ve hacked love altogether ❤️
But it's the saddest kind of love, though. It's like a flower button withering and never getting a chance to bloom. I've had to love from afar my entire life because none of the guys I've loved have loved me back. You really do start feeling like a pointless existence after a few years, not gonna lie.
Shallon is the GOAT
I cried the whole entire time thank you for this video
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you ❤️
Currently going through this alone right now. Thanks for sharing.
As Taylor Swift says “we learn to live with the sadness mosaic broken hearts”
I‘m from Germany and found your Channel… its the best Channel i ever watched😂 and the Scenario with the „Ghostman“ i was there.. I have tried to trick my mind 🧠
The worst is, "Oh, I didn't know you were having problems." We weren't - my husband ghosted me after 9 years. Went to visit his family and I never heard from him again. I like to assume he died. At least that's an excuse.
Whaaaat?! Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, Amy.
@@rachaelesque3 Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
@@amyleigh7624 perfect way to look at it! 🙌🏼
Yeah, that seems to happen pretty frequently. Even when children are involved. I'll never understand it.
What. The. F*ck. I’m so sorry.
We want a video on " when you are feeling that anxiety , that means it is not right " plz
Love this extra honest take from Shallon. Such good advice too 👌👌
Only thing I would say is that when I’ve told myself I would love a guy forever, it was something I genuinely thought in the rage of my feelings and heart break but I think it’s impossible to love them the same years down the line as your memory of them fades or changes into something that it once wasn’t.
Thank you. I needed to hear this and know I am not crazy for doing this.
thank you! for you authenticity in your videos!!!! Acceptance is KEY!
This video will help so many people
This video came at the perfect time for me. Thank you!
Girl I felt all of this. Just got suddenly dumped a month ago. Like our love was beautiful but I guess it just didn't work. There isn't a second of the day where I don't miss him.
First merch I have seen in a while that I resonated with 😂🙃
That happened to me. I allowed it to happen to me. Once I decided I was done, for various good reasons, I met my husband. And I wasn't looking for anything. I was finally emotionally free.
I really needed this video Shallon. Thank you.
4 years together and I was replaced after a few months like I never existed. Flaunting her left, right and centre on social media and I'm the horrible one apparently. Wow.
Great video as ever Shallon. Could you cover the loss of a close loved one and grief please? I don’t think you’ve covered it before. Thank you very much
Thank you so much for this Shallon.
I did it too recently. I fell in love. I can't and don't want to force anything. Yes, it's not a perfect situation, but. I let it be my sweet november. It is what it is. No one can make me stop loving him. It really feels so free and comfortable.
@@dilyaigzekova8555 love that movie sweet November. ❤️
You have a fantastic voice. I bet you hear that a lot.
ahahaaaaaa when you imitated her talking voice, i DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Can you do a video on Dani Leigh and Dababy? It’s a huge story that broke on TMZ I think we could get some valuable life lessons from it
Haha you crack me up “my husband was hotter” 🤣
Let’s go shallon!! Love you. ☺️☺️❣️