For me personally, sprinting,lifting weights and boxing are my ways of releasing anger without hurting anyone or anything,it helps Update: Feb 2024 and I'm more chill now,turns out the reason why I got so angry was because of my deteriorating mental health and I was taking it out on everyone, take care of your mental health y'all
@@Name-lt2tz I'm 15,I don't go to work but,when u get angry at work,you can hold it in till you leave work and about time,no worries 5 minutes can be enough to do something high intensity and release the anger
That’s a good point because instead of getting angry at people your getting angry at the pain that you’re feeling, your basically fighting the pain instead of fighting other people
Yes, this is what leads to self harm. We feel it, don't let it out- it doesn't go away so we hurt ourselves to feel the release. I see how you're trying to be helpful but it doesn't work for everyone.
i know not to hurt myself ever, that just seems stupid to me but im a very angry person but nobody knows cuz i don't ever talk about my feelings like that but i think its getting out of hand and i want to learn how to chill out while im still a kid so that it doesnt get worse
Imploding is just as destructive of exploding. I will try this technique, although this sounds like it will take A LOT of attempts before it helps. The only 3 things I have tried that really help (not take it away) is exercising exceptionally hard until I am for death. The anger flows like a little water stream due to exhaustion. When I become angry, my brain is ready to run very hard. Praying has helped a little and doing something kind for someone else can help a tad.
@@sveenytry to see what makes you angry and why? What lies beneith it? Why do you have to protect yourself with that anger? Try to see and feel your inner child that feels not treated right. Give it love and compassion.
100%. For me, what helps is to use angry/irritated/frustrated music to do this. And I don't mean screaming heavy metal, I mean music that expresses anger and frustration with the world or in its instruments, whatever that means for you. You'll know it when you find it. It usually only takes one song for me--I put on the headphones when I feel the anger rise, I sit, I close my eyes, and I fully feel the anger in the music. If you have trouble "looking inward," that is what I recommend.
Thank u. It's hard to let go of my anger because it's warranted. I think too many people downplay how awful someone treats or treated them as a way to forgive and stop being angry, but that requires denial, and denial isn't healthy either.
This is by far > The Best way I have ever heard someone address processing Anger, so it doesn’t take up residence in the body. Great advice so you not destroying relationships with family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and helping prevent road rage. 🙌🏽 🙏🏽💚💝
Perhaps not the best anger for those of us who suffered trauma and have developed and anger repressive mechanism. We never really smashed anything or got angry at anyone. so now its stored in the body.
Same! Trauma as a child, the kind that no child should ever experience. 🤬 Been to therapy many times, never seemed to help. Now I’m 42 and having health issues. I break things and smash my knuckles into walls. Not great, I know. I really need to try meditation or something!
@@leannshort2211 don't let it linger. Ayahuasca with a trusted shaman helped me a long way. Mushrooms and good friends can do wonders to. Try different therapy that help you to open up. Waiting and letting it fester can make you very ill.
@leannshort2211 try to look at dr. Gabor Mate podcast and ecucate yourself about trauma even trough books, you will feel better when you understand why do you feel that way and how to heal
Anger is you care what someone says about you , family friends how you act you take this personal, when you think he is not normal, what they say my thoughts are more important than his. And when you get really angry say everything what you think. You feel so much better
I have a lot of anger, bitterness, and resentment for a lot of things, but mostly for my childhood that was filled with to the brim with trauma (mostly medical.) it's something I haven't been able to get passed in decades and I'm terrified I'll be miserable for the rest of my life. What a sad fucking existence, I feel helpless & hopeless literally all the time now even though I'm on multiple medications for mental disorders and seeing a counselor. True happiness, joy, love feels totally unattainable to me.
Me too. But unmedicated. Mostly angry at the unfairness in life. My childhood being a big part of that, add a n*gl*ctful, ab*s*ve family and I'm a ticking time 💣 But one thing that always sets me off is drivers who drive excessively slow, until you can pass them. All the sudden they're in a big fat f*ck¡n hurry and floor it!! I'll never understand! They've been going 20mph UNDER the speed limit for miles!! Now they don't wanna be passed, help me understand this madness!! 😤🤬
I'm 71 and I can relate to you my friend... After about 20 years of medication I realized it doesn't help it only makes things worse for me... I stopped the medication 15 or 20 years ago... Diet seems to help a lot... Practices that increase quality of my microbiome.. I make my own organic sauerkraut.. and stay away from carbs... The carbs cause inflammation throughout the body including the digestive system and brain .. I learned how to eat for optimal mental health..... And doctors don't know what that is....I believe most of us that have experienced abuse.. are angry. And it's righteous anger...those of us who are hyper sensitive. ..suffer more intensely...... I turn my anger inward..thot of unaliving myself..... I'll try with this guy says but I don't think breathing is going to fix me.....btw...."breathing "the psych breath" 10 times almost never fails to put me to sleep........breath does help...it's just not THE CURE.
No matter how much i try and control my anger, it's really hard for me, when someone says something i don't like, i literally have to say something, i can't keep it in, it's a struggle for me
@@4LLT0G3TH3R Maybe not saying anything, and walking away could be a great way to handle a situation (it depends, of course). Silence can be powerful and speak volumes.
I had same issue as well, how I handle is take deep breath, lower my ego which make me feel insecure but also gain realization about people and the situation. If possible, get out of the area, if not just a big breath will be big help. If you can't do the above, then go your way until the end of the line to get yourself to realize what is good and not good for you. I hope this could help a little for anyone who's in the crisis.
You could look up effective communication tips. We can still say how we feel but in a more palatable way that clarifies how you feel but also honors the other person too.
For me, anger is an energy capable of destroy anything but also construct if redirected to the right subject, is was anger that took me up from a depressing time and gave me strength to seek what's best for myself. Anger gave me the power to change my state of thinking.
Changing my environment is the key on how I became more calm. I used to live with my family and I am always angry because the house is not clean, I'm very tired from work, and constant noise that I'm hearing. Everything changed when I work in dubai. I live with my boarder mates and I noticed that I became very calm and quite. When someone got angry to me I'll just either shrugged it of, say sorry even though i did nothing wrong or express to the person that I'm sad. I just want to get over it immediately before my mind go crazy and express my anger.
Im 31 now and I am starting to deal with my emotions and feelings differently. Trying to be more aware of how i really feel underneath the anger. And finding positive outlets for it.
Talking to God and telling him my issues, sadness and anger then asking for forgiveness and help has had a tremendous effect on me. I utilize calming sounds like water, waves and soothing music or watch some calming frequencies on UA-cam after talking to God about it (aka our 24 hour Dad, therapist and helper) and at times talking to your Heavenly angles offer a calm feeling that is interesting, keep at it and ask Jesus for help, ya won't regret it but you will feel a calming the more you go towards The Holy Trinity 😎
I worked hard to overcome anger. Took anger management classes… Dealt with my past as much as possible.… I did really well for a couple of years . Then God blessed me with a strong willed child. She’s 16 now. Off and on I have done better. I never give up trying. I always genuinely apologize, fully acknowledging allowed, my wrongs. I remind her that no one deserves to be screamed at. Even though she is strong-willed, her heart is so sensitive and I have definitely hurt her with my words. Studies have shown that words are more damaging than being hit. I’m thankful that I didn’t ever physically abuse her but when I go off it is total rage. I don’t call her names. I don’t blame her for things I just go off at the universe and I sound like, I wrote the book of profanity. The anger is so horrible and it scares her and I don’t blame her. I found you because just now we were having a beautiful afternoon. We were driving to a nearby park to watch the sunset over the water. I am new to the area and unfamiliar with the roads. Someone was tailing me and I went to pull over to let them by and I didn’t see huge holes in the gravel pull over area. Our little Honda went bouncing and I’m apologizing as it’s happening and she made a comment in the back that was disrespectful. Something like, “why do you do this shit?“. She’s on the spectrum and so. I choose my battles …so I haven’t nipped profanity in the bud with her… Especially when every so often, I myself go off and use profanity. She understands the concept of me, knowing I am wrong and still her rising above my weaknesses and being her best self. Anyway… Feeling very stupid for pulling over… For letting somebody behind me pressure me into pulling over… For scaring my family, because my husband was in the car too… for the whole thing that was very upsetting, I just began to rage. * I notice that once I let the first anger word out , everything else pours out like vomit. I need… I desperately need to learn how to not let the first part out, and I think this wonderful gentleman HAS some thing here. I think by letting it out it’s a release and I never feel the full measure of anger on my self. Instead of taking it on myself, I let everyone else have it. I see that is very selfish. I love my family more than anything in the WHOLE UNIVERSE and after injuring their hearts with rage I hate myself more than anything in the WHOLE UNIVERSE. I think about how much better their life would be without me, even though I know it’s a lie. I desperately want them to know how much I regret it but it just sounds like words moving through the air, and not sincere since I’ve already apologized in the past. I pray to God to help me find something new that will help and I found this video so I’m gonna try it. I may be one of the type of people that this could help. I pray God heals my precious, daughters heart, and my husband’s for having to endure, the rage. As I said, although it is just words and even not aimed at them… Not directly, anyway… I know they’re the ones that it’s hitting. God please heal them and heal me and help us to rise above this. Please forgive me and help me never give up because sometimes I feel, hopeless and worthless. In Jesus name, I pray… Amen.
I have similar trouble. I can't stand myself. What is that even? Some sort of feeling of entitlement that other people not mess up when I myself am not perfect? I hate that this is who I am. I hate that my two kids (15, 12) will soon live wondering when I will blow up next. The anger feels like my body is temporarily possessed and I need to vomit it out like venom. I am going to confession asap and asking for the Sacrament of the Annointing of the Sick. Lord, have mercy on me, heal me, I beg you to teach me humility. Amen.
@@thisgirl5933 huge hugs to your heart. Without a doubt anger comes from 4 main factors. Frustration, fear, rejection, and unmet expectations. It is a super effective strategy to look back at an episode, and identify all four of those factors. Ultimately it all comes down to fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of never being able to solve the issue and staying frustrated. Fear of never being understood. So one of my strategies is dissecting a past episode, and then praying against fear for the future challenges. Now, regarding this man’s amazing advice… I have been applying it. It is hard work. It is painful. But just knowing that the pain will be on me and not my loved one, or even not on a stranger who may have just made a mistake or May be simply having a bad day… knowing that I take the pain instead, encourages me to do it. The next challenge, however, is *remembering* because in the moment, the fire is raging … The volcano is beginning to erupt, so it is really important to REMEMBER the video that teaches us to hold onto it a little longer until we get past the danger. Now, imagine that I just gave you a special formula that would help you win the lottery. Well, I’m going to give you the formula right now… this is what I am using that will help us win the lottery of self control, first, helping build trust with our loved ones again, and helping them to heal and the damage we have caused. Humility. Yep… That’s it. Being humble enough to apologize and acknowledge our behavior, *which includes acknowledging pain we put them through. Let them tell us what their pain is, without getting angry again, because even if they tell us in a hurtful way, we were the ones who caused their reaction to begin with. That is level one. Level two of humility is involving them in your recovery. Tell them what your plan is. This is so healing for them and reassuring because they see you take it seriously and that they really matter to you. What I did was ask my husband and my daughter this. If they see my lava start rising, I gave them permission to remind me about holding my anger and I gave them my word that if they remind me about the UA-cam video, I will not get more angry for their suggestion and I will do my very best to apply it. I don’t like going against my word so once I made a commitment, I knew I would be strong if it happens. It did happen once since then, and they did remind me and I did apply it and we all got through it beautifully. More trust built… More healing generated. More hope for the future. More gratitude to this man for sharing his idea. Level three of humility. After you repent to God for your behavior, and ask Him to help you… You must truly TRULY forgive yourself. If you don’t, then your perception will be distorted and then if anyone throws the past in your face, your own guilt and shame, can start the anger cycle all over again. When you truly forgive yourself, and you know you’ve been forgiven by God, then if someone tries to throw the past in your face,you will look at them more with compassion and understanding, for why they feel the way they feel, and the desire to help them instead of take it personally. I hope it helped you to hear how it’s been going with me. I’m going to say a prayer for you, because prayers are so powerful! God bless you and your precious children. May He always keep you close and help you see each other’s hearts as fully as possible. And while looking into each other’s hearts, may the love that you see for each other connect you all stronger than ever before. 🙏💜🙏💜🙏😄
that is veeeery interesting. it was a long journey to accept "my" anger and actually expressing it at home by screaming into a towel, pressing a towel as hard as i can and grunt and/OR let the energy out into a pillow or mattress by let my fists smash on it. Under anger is hurt, so usually i cry then and feel so relieved afterwards! :) Gonna try this method for sure! I like that you don't suppress it!
This helps a lot thank you. Usually when im stressed i feel my whole body tense but it is a good simple reminder to genuinely just relax your body and muscles
I think this is helpful for people who have over-expressed their anger but unhelpful for people who have had repressed anger their whole life. Louise hay talks about healthy anger release exercises and I feel the anger in my body somatically as I do them - these have helped me a lot in my healing journey❤
I absolutely love this. I did this the other day and I felt so good afterwards. I definitely didn’t want to send my negative vibes out into the world. I need to deal with it myself. I love this. Thank you for the share ❤
This was absolutely what I needed to hear. I always hear breathe in & out, relax, remove yourself bull shit. But that stuff didn’t help because no one explained exactly what that is doing. Release your anger through an outlet slowly and it will go away. So how I think of it is concentrate your anger into your finger tips or your breath and expel it. Make a fist then relax your fist letting the anger out. Breathe in gather all your anger into your lungs then let it out. I’m going to try this for sure Tomorrow since Ik I’m going to be angry tomorrow about a situation I foresee 😃😀 tanks random internet guy.
Great advice. Heavy exercise (long walk, run, weights, etc.)will also release the body tension because that loop of body tension will keep feeding the emotion. Pausing is a big first step once you feel it building.
breathing exercises and knowing why you breath at all helps, also you are a part of everything, all of us are, so we all express with variety, what you focus on you become is old adage, courage has rage in it, look to self to understand outside of self, "we throw anger onto.." yeah...thanks!
Thank you man, I just needed a reminder. I am the one who changes my reaction. Ive never had anger problems ever in my life until I got with my abusive ex about a year ago. I hate this new thing inside me. Ive never hated having anger as an emotion more than I do now. It feels involuntary when I get angry and all of my pain and trauma arises with it every single time I have any frustration now. I often catch myself just having angry thoughts and it makes me sick to my stomach. It only last for a moment because I know this has never been me and I can’t fall into this trap of becoming who my ex wants me to be. It’s just sick. I’ve never been this. If anyone is reading this, I’m crying as I’m typing this and I really would love any advice you have
You're not alone, I can relate to so much of what you said. I haven't been able to put into words what someone in my life has done to me via their rage issues. When they yell at me or take out their anger on me from whatever pissed them off today, it pulls up all of my trauma and creates anger abs sadness in me that I've never had in my life. They have changed who I am and I hate it.
Men expressing anger in an aggressive or destructive way is simply the way we express another feeling boys. Sadness, neglect, disregard….etc, etc. Yeah you might be angry and sometimes it’s justified but how you express it is very different. Rage anger or throwing stuff simply makes everybody think your crazy and you lose already. You never get what you want and go home with a heart full of shame. We gotta learn to be part of humanity not the lunatics are fathers and grandfathers taught us. There is still to smash shit but that’s only if your loved ones are in danger and you need to protect. We gotta man up and deal with our shit better. Breath, don’t react, think. Walk away, reflect. When’s the last time you got angry and got what you wanted but didn’t scare your kids or your wife or anybody for that matter. We live in a new world that needs us to adapt. It doesn’t make us less of a man it makes us a better man.
like regaining control in general, noticing emotion and looking at it from second person perspective, you get above the entity being angry watching it and it get scared it's seen
Practice the Four Agreements especially agreement #2 “Don’t take anything personally”. Whatever someone else is experiencing has nothing to do with my dream because they are living in their own dream.
i have rage, as edgy as it sounds it stems from just being passive and i suppose i am a people pleaser. I try to make a joke when really i want to beat the tar out of the person who offends me. I found a new joy in game development as petty as that sounds and i make the people that wronged me as the main antagonist, and I let the player beat them up with earthbound like humor along the way.
Now that is freakin awesome dude I know how hard it is dealing with nice guy syndrome it's literally the freaking devil. But I'm glad you found your outlet
The same happened to me a long time ago. I was a people pleaser and never said what I felt and acted how I felt. Then when I turned 11 I said "Fuck this" and now im 13 and here I am. In the flesh. I'm happy that I stopped being a fake people pleaser. I wish you the best of luck mate!
If you can't change your attitude, change your circumstances. If you can't change yoir circumstances, change your attitude. Those are the options for a good outcome.
Sounds good. I've just recently started to let out a lot of negative emotions that have been bottled up for years and i think /hope thid is really gonna help me to finally let go.
As a person who is mostly calm to the outside world.. when I’m enraged it’s like they saw a ghost.. it terrifies me because ppl gravitate towards me as a leader or a friend.. but when the switch switches.. nothing stands in my way. Let me be clear.. my rage is for good. It’s always to protect. But that gets me in trouble
Body image isn't always important since there's other versions of fit body's that are actualy better looking you're perfectly fine the way you are...The Personality and way how your express yourself to your video fans through UA-cam and to those who've hurt you before in the past and recently is what really actually matters the most and who you are on the inside deep down...Yeah, that's mentioned by myself because there's actually still a ton of worldclass jerks out there but knowing the kinds of feelings and emotions that certain experiences have actually caused us before in the past is actually what helps us to better much more prepare up for the next time and think of how to actually handle ourselves without the losers who've hurt us in some sort of way get away with it farther and furthur more.!!!
I think its good to feel it, but then we also need to listen to the message it has for us. Often times anger is a sign of boundaries being crossed so speaking up assertively is the next step to completely honor your anger and its purpose.
It is also important to andress the situation that makes you angry. There is disfunctional angry (because of trauma or projection) and there is healthy anger. Healthy anger is there to show you that your limits had been crossed. In that case, you need to adress the situation and set boundaries. Otherwise, you will get angry everytime the situation repeats and you will lose an opportunity to grow. Anyway, this method helps with both. Thanks so much for sharing your emotional wisdom.
Who crossed limit is it me or the other? I know I am responsible for my body but I don't know why a specific person makes me angry. I just feel it when I'm next to them and I just rather be alone,when I finally get alone and leave I cry cause I felt unsafe. I dont really know why I am getting angry or overprotective.
I want to protect my self from this person cause I feel like they are probably evil.but I don't know, I have no proof, I at the end I usually self reflect and just feel so angry at my self for being around them.
Why ? I mean I know I am incontrol n I have a freedom that is creating my life but im having a scenario repeat its self. It feels like the person is bulshitting me. But I have no proof other then their below minimum effort to give me closure. They say I'm crazy for feeling this way and I'm a jealous person, this is my dad I'm talking about. How can I be jealous of someone I love. But their actions show they only care about the self. Never my wellbeing. I get my wellbeing jeopardize just being in their presence too long
I use to be the same way growing up I would punch the abandoned house next to where I grew up until my hands were spilling blood, I was always getting into fights I was able to channel that towards bullies kids would come to me if they were being bullied eventually I learned to control the anger to let it pass as you described. Running, biking, skateboarding & ddrawing helped alot too I use to push myself past the limit so I would say doing something active helps as well.
Yo I just discovered your chanel from a french fit UA-camr and bro your content is insane. Some people might say that you gotten weird in some spiritual weird things but those people probably never meditated and tried to really learn about the self... You Ve gotten +1 sub😁thanks for what you r doing.
I agree, we have to experience it, but it's simplistic to expect it to subside. Depends on what the trigger is and the depth of the feelings. There are many causes of anger, sometimes it's an injury........
This is great advice! I remember first discovering you back in your six pack shortcuts days and you helped me get in the best shape of my life, and now, you're helping me learn how to become a better person in life, which is even more important. Keep up the great work bro and never stop helping people!
I live in the Philippines now and it seems like everywhere I go someone has something hurtful and shotty to say about me. It’s like people despise me no matter what I do and how nice I am. I feel like exploding on them but don’t want to sit in a prison cell for months or years. It’s so bad that I don’t even leave my apartment for weeks and months.
Controlling anger in a heated moment is the toughest test.
Agreed
Real
Man my anger feels like it’s killing me.
At least your not a catholic
Same
Breh im already so fucking angry and stressed and he is telling his life story..its my fault tho.. he was just trying to help 😂❤
Same😢
Light up a blunt g
I’m too angry to listen to this guy’s advice
Thanks you made me laugh I needed it
😂😂😂😂😂
Bruh foreal, what’s wrong with us😂
Same. The moment he said take a deep breath I threw my phone and said "Stfu you dumbass"
then do d thing he is telling to you
I believe people who are angry, are angry because they are really hurting.
You are correct. Deep down where they don't even realize why...
For me personally, sprinting,lifting weights and boxing are my ways of releasing anger without hurting anyone or anything,it helps
Update: Feb 2024 and I'm more chill now,turns out the reason why I got so angry was because of my deteriorating mental health and I was taking it out on everyone, take care of your mental health y'all
and what if you are at work and cannot go for a sprint? or even if you can, you need extra time for that, leaving work to do later
@@Name-lt2tz I'm 15,I don't go to work but,when u get angry at work,you can hold it in till you leave work and about time,no worries 5 minutes can be enough to do something high intensity and release the anger
That’s a good point because instead of getting angry at people your getting angry at the pain that you’re feeling, your basically fighting the pain instead of fighting other people
@@trxpho._ but until you leave you have to be angry then a lot of time :)
@@Name-lt2tz keep it locked in it can be hard at first then let it all out once you get home and start your workout
I have definitely scared off quite a few people by throwing things and smashing things to pieces. I definitely need to work on controlling my anger.
Not alone brother not alone
Your not the the only one and not alone
I accidentally scared my mom like that when i was younger
Same with me
Same. 😔
Yes, this is what leads to self harm. We feel it, don't let it out- it doesn't go away so we hurt ourselves to feel the release. I see how you're trying to be helpful but it doesn't work for everyone.
I cant forgive myself and it makes me want to hurt myself
i know not to hurt myself ever, that just seems stupid to me but im a very angry person but nobody knows cuz i don't ever talk about my feelings like that but i think its getting out of hand and i want to learn how to chill out while im still a kid so that it doesnt get worse
ik it was random for me to say that but i had to tell somebody
Imploding is just as destructive of exploding. I will try this technique, although this sounds like it will take A LOT of attempts before it helps.
The only 3 things I have tried that really help (not take it away) is exercising exceptionally hard until I am for death. The anger flows like a little water stream due to exhaustion. When I become angry, my brain is ready to run very hard. Praying has helped a little and doing something kind for someone else can help a tad.
My knuckles already is ready they can be from punching a wall
To get rid of anger you need to let yourself feel the sadness your anger is masking
I‘ve always had the suspicion this is the underlying cause. I just don‘t know how to do it…
@@sveenytry to see what makes you angry and why? What lies beneith it? Why do you have to protect yourself with that anger? Try to see and feel your inner child that feels not treated right. Give it love and compassion.
Thank you, this was an amazing reminder
Yes. This is one of the healthiest way to release anger instead of projecting it onto people and things. It works!!❤
This was possibly the most helpful thing I’ve found in a long time. Thank you for sharing.
100%. For me, what helps is to use angry/irritated/frustrated music to do this. And I don't mean screaming heavy metal, I mean music that expresses anger and frustration with the world or in its instruments, whatever that means for you. You'll know it when you find it. It usually only takes one song for me--I put on the headphones when I feel the anger rise, I sit, I close my eyes, and I fully feel the anger in the music.
If you have trouble "looking inward," that is what I recommend.
Thank u. It's hard to let go of my anger because it's warranted. I think too many people downplay how awful someone treats or treated them as a way to forgive and stop being angry, but that requires denial, and denial isn't healthy either.
Yeah people tend to lie to themselves.
Wow this sounds exactly how I think. I feel like “how can I not be angry in this situation “
Yes it's hard when you feel it's justified. I am learning to let those feelings go and just remain responsible for me.
This is by far > The Best way I have ever heard someone address processing Anger, so it doesn’t take up residence in the body. Great advice so you not destroying relationships with family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and helping prevent road rage. 🙌🏽 🙏🏽💚💝
Perhaps not the best anger for those of us who suffered trauma and have developed and anger repressive mechanism. We never really smashed anything or got angry at anyone. so now its stored in the body.
That’s EXACTLY what it is for me.
Same! Trauma as a child, the kind that no child should ever experience. 🤬
Been to therapy many times, never seemed to help. Now I’m 42 and having health issues. I break things and smash my knuckles into walls. Not great, I know. I really need to try meditation or something!
@@leannshort2211 don't let it linger. Ayahuasca with a trusted shaman helped me a long way. Mushrooms and good friends can do wonders to. Try different therapy that help you to open up. Waiting and letting it fester can make you very ill.
@leannshort2211 try to look at dr. Gabor Mate podcast and ecucate yourself about trauma even trough books, you will feel better when you understand why do you feel that way and how to heal
Literally me, but now it manifested into health issues. Would not recommend 😢
Anger is you care what someone says about you , family friends how you act you take this personal, when you think he is not normal, what they say my thoughts are more important than his. And when you get really angry say everything what you think. You feel so much better
I have a lot of anger, bitterness, and resentment for a lot of things, but mostly for my childhood that was filled with to the brim with trauma (mostly medical.) it's something I haven't been able to get passed in decades and I'm terrified I'll be miserable for the rest of my life. What a sad fucking existence, I feel helpless & hopeless literally all the time now even though I'm on multiple medications for mental disorders and seeing a counselor. True happiness, joy, love feels totally unattainable to me.
Im sorry 😢
Me too.
But unmedicated.
Mostly angry at the unfairness in life.
My childhood being a big part of that, add a n*gl*ctful, ab*s*ve family and I'm a ticking time 💣
But one thing that always sets me off is drivers who drive excessively slow, until you can pass them.
All the sudden they're in a big fat f*ck¡n hurry and floor it!!
I'll never understand!
They've been going 20mph UNDER the speed limit for miles!!
Now they don't wanna be passed, help me understand this madness!! 😤🤬
I pray for healing for you. May God fix your heart and make you brand new again, and renew your spirit. #hugs.
I'm 71 and I can relate to you my friend... After about 20 years of medication I realized it doesn't help it only makes things worse for me... I stopped the medication 15 or 20 years ago... Diet seems to help a lot... Practices that increase quality of my microbiome.. I make my own organic sauerkraut.. and stay away from carbs... The carbs cause inflammation throughout the body including the digestive system and brain .. I learned how to eat for optimal mental health..... And doctors don't know what that is....I believe most of us that have experienced abuse.. are angry. And it's righteous anger...those of us who are hyper sensitive. ..suffer more intensely...... I turn my anger inward..thot of unaliving myself..... I'll try with this guy says but I don't think breathing is going to fix me.....btw...."breathing "the psych breath" 10 times almost never fails to put me to sleep........breath does help...it's just not THE CURE.
This guy is telling ppl that's upset to calm down..that never works..!!!
No matter how much i try and control my anger, it's really hard for me, when someone says something i don't like, i literally have to say something, i can't keep it in, it's a struggle for me
Im struggling to forgive myself for being too angry to say what needed to be said last week. Now im too angry with myself for not being able to speak
@@4LLT0G3TH3R Maybe not saying anything, and walking away could be a great way to handle a situation (it depends, of course). Silence can be powerful and speak volumes.
I had same issue as well, how I handle is take deep breath, lower my ego which make me feel insecure but also gain realization about people and the situation. If possible, get out of the area, if not just a big breath will be big help.
If you can't do the above, then go your way until the end of the line to get yourself to realize what is good and not good for you.
I hope this could help a little for anyone who's in the crisis.
Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate that❤️
You could look up effective communication tips. We can still say how we feel but in a more palatable way that clarifies how you feel but also honors the other person too.
For me, anger is an energy capable of destroy anything but also construct if redirected to the right subject, is was anger that took me up from a depressing time and gave me strength to seek what's best for myself. Anger gave me the power to change my state of thinking.
Changing my environment is the key on how I became more calm. I used to live with my family and I am always angry because the house is not clean, I'm very tired from work, and constant noise that I'm hearing. Everything changed when I work in dubai. I live with my boarder mates and I noticed that I became very calm and quite. When someone got angry to me I'll just either shrugged it of, say sorry even though i did nothing wrong or express to the person that I'm sad. I just want to get over it immediately before my mind go crazy and express my anger.
Yes, i like this. Good thing to try and change your envorinment/place, it works alot.
I know the best thing, you got it brother ,to be calm and relax, you have to manage it carefully and let it go or release!Amen!❤❤❤
He is 100 percent correct. And this goes for any emotion.
Im 31 now and I am starting to deal with my emotions and feelings differently. Trying to be more aware of how i really feel underneath the anger. And finding positive outlets for it.
Same
What are the outlets. Nothing seems to release my stress. I have a constant flow of stress coming in and not much to release it
How is finding outlets not escapism?
Talking to God and telling him my issues, sadness and anger then asking for forgiveness and help has had a tremendous effect on me. I utilize calming sounds like water, waves and soothing music or watch some calming frequencies on UA-cam after talking to God about it (aka our 24 hour Dad, therapist and helper) and at times talking to your Heavenly angles offer a calm feeling that is interesting, keep at it and ask Jesus for help, ya won't regret it but you will feel a calming the more you go towards The Holy Trinity 😎
I worked hard to overcome anger. Took anger management classes… Dealt with my past as much as possible.… I did really well for a couple of years .
Then God blessed me with a strong willed child. She’s 16 now. Off and on I have done better. I never give up trying. I always genuinely apologize, fully acknowledging allowed, my wrongs.
I remind her that no one deserves to be screamed at. Even though she is strong-willed, her heart is so sensitive and I have definitely hurt her with my words.
Studies have shown that words are more damaging than being hit. I’m thankful that I didn’t ever physically abuse her but when I go off it is total rage. I don’t call her names. I don’t blame her for things I just go off at the universe and I sound like, I wrote the book of profanity. The anger is so horrible and it scares her and I don’t blame her.
I found you because just now we were having a beautiful afternoon. We were driving to a nearby park to watch the sunset over the water. I am new to the area and unfamiliar with the roads. Someone was tailing me and I went to pull over to let them by and I didn’t see huge holes in the gravel pull over area.
Our little Honda went bouncing and I’m apologizing as it’s happening and she made a comment in the back that was disrespectful. Something like, “why do you do this shit?“. She’s on the spectrum and so. I choose my battles …so I haven’t nipped profanity in the bud with her… Especially when every so often, I myself go off and use profanity.
She understands the concept of me, knowing I am wrong and still her rising above my weaknesses and being her best self.
Anyway… Feeling very stupid for pulling over… For letting somebody behind me pressure me into pulling over… For scaring my family, because my husband was in the car too… for the whole thing that was very upsetting, I just began to rage. * I notice that once I let the first anger word out , everything else pours out like vomit.
I need… I desperately need to learn how to not let the first part out, and I think this wonderful gentleman HAS some thing here. I think by letting it out it’s a release and I never feel the full measure of anger on my self.
Instead of taking it on myself, I let everyone else have it. I see that is very selfish. I love my family more than anything in the WHOLE UNIVERSE and after injuring their hearts with rage I hate myself more than anything in the WHOLE UNIVERSE.
I think about how much better their life would be without me, even though I know it’s a lie. I desperately want them to know how much I regret it but it just sounds like words moving through the air, and not sincere since I’ve already apologized in the past. I pray to God to help me find something new that will help and I found this video so I’m gonna try it.
I may be one of the type of people that this could help. I pray God heals my precious, daughters heart, and my husband’s for having to endure, the rage. As I said, although it is just words and even not aimed at them… Not directly, anyway… I know they’re the ones that it’s hitting.
God please heal them and heal me and help us to rise above this. Please forgive me and help me never give up because sometimes I feel, hopeless and worthless. In Jesus name, I pray… Amen.
I have similar trouble. I can't stand myself. What is that even? Some sort of feeling of entitlement that other people not mess up when I myself am not perfect? I hate that this is who I am. I hate that my two kids (15, 12) will soon live wondering when I will blow up next. The anger feels like my body is temporarily possessed and I need to vomit it out like venom. I am going to confession asap and asking for the Sacrament of the Annointing of the Sick. Lord, have mercy on me, heal me, I beg you to teach me humility. Amen.
@@thisgirl5933 huge hugs to your heart. Without a doubt anger comes from 4 main factors.
Frustration, fear, rejection, and unmet expectations. It is a super effective
strategy to look back at an episode, and identify all four of those factors.
Ultimately it all comes down to fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of never being able to solve the issue and staying frustrated. Fear of never being understood.
So one of my strategies is dissecting a past episode, and then praying against fear for the future challenges.
Now, regarding this man’s amazing advice… I have been applying it. It is hard work. It is painful. But just knowing that the pain will be on me and not my loved one, or even not on a stranger who may have just made a mistake or May be simply having a bad day… knowing that I take the pain instead, encourages me to do it.
The next challenge, however, is *remembering* because in the moment, the fire is raging … The volcano is beginning to erupt, so it is really important to REMEMBER the video that teaches us to hold onto it a little longer until we get past the danger.
Now, imagine that I just gave you a special formula that would help you win the lottery.
Well, I’m going to give you the formula right now… this is what I am using that will help us win the lottery of self control, first, helping build trust with our loved ones again, and helping them to heal and the damage we have caused.
Humility.
Yep… That’s it. Being humble enough to apologize and acknowledge our behavior, *which includes acknowledging pain we put them through. Let them tell us what their pain is, without getting angry again, because even if they tell us in a hurtful way, we were the ones who caused their reaction to begin with.
That is level one. Level two of humility is involving them in your recovery. Tell them what your plan is. This is so healing for them and reassuring because they see you take it seriously and that they really matter to you. What I did was ask my husband and my daughter this. If they see my lava start rising, I gave them permission to remind me about holding my anger and I gave them my word that if they remind me about the UA-cam video, I will not get more angry for their suggestion and I will do my very best to apply it.
I don’t like going against my word so once I made a commitment, I knew I would be strong if it happens. It did happen once since then, and they did remind me and I did apply it and we all got through it beautifully. More trust built… More healing generated. More hope for the future. More gratitude to this man for sharing his idea.
Level three of humility.
After you repent to God for your behavior, and ask Him to help you… You must truly TRULY forgive yourself. If you don’t, then your perception will be distorted and then if anyone throws the past in your face, your own guilt and shame, can start the anger cycle all over again.
When you truly forgive yourself, and you know you’ve been forgiven by God, then if someone tries to throw the past in your face,you will look at them more with compassion and understanding, for why they feel the way they feel, and the desire to help them instead of take it personally.
I hope it helped you to hear how it’s been going with me. I’m going to say a prayer for you, because prayers are so powerful!
God bless you and your precious children. May He always keep you close and help you see each other’s hearts as fully as possible. And while looking into each other’s hearts, may the love that you see for each other connect you all stronger than ever before.
🙏💜🙏💜🙏😄
that is veeeery interesting. it was a long journey to accept "my" anger and actually expressing it at home by screaming into a towel, pressing a towel as hard as i can and grunt and/OR let the energy out into a pillow or mattress by let my fists smash on it.
Under anger is hurt, so usually i cry then and feel so relieved afterwards! :)
Gonna try this method for sure! I like that you don't suppress it!
This helps a lot thank you. Usually when im stressed i feel my whole body tense but it is a good simple reminder to genuinely just relax your body and muscles
Saved my life with this video!
Very sound advice. Thanks Mike!
You give so many good and positive tips. Thank you.
I think this is helpful for people who have over-expressed their anger but unhelpful for people who have had repressed anger their whole life. Louise hay talks about healthy anger release exercises and I feel the anger in my body somatically as I do them - these have helped me a lot in my healing journey❤
This is one of the very best advice, by not expressing it❤
I love this small shift in the thinking behind it. “Release”, vs “express”.
THANK YOU MR CHANG!!!!
GOOD COMMENT
I love this I’ve been doing it automatically and thought it was bad but tbh once I let it do it’s thing it’s gone. I’ve been getting much better
I tried to follow your instructions and it did work. Now I'm not angry, just extremely hateful. Ty
I absolutely love this. I did this the other day and I felt so good afterwards. I definitely didn’t want to send my negative vibes out into the world. I need to deal with it myself. I love this. Thank you for the share ❤
I just found your channel and already it is helping me put things into proper perspective. Thank you sir!!!
wow that’s amazing….. release rather than express! Wow!
Anger doesn’t go away, it is a memory never forgotten, but you can transform it to something better
i needed this, thank u. gonna keep trying this starting next time i'm angry. i feel like as i express it that im feeding it and it grows.
That's interesting. This approach actually works and backed by science than punching and screaming into pillows thank you.
Thank you, this video comes in the right moment
The anger has already destroyed the one thing I care about so there's really no need releasing it anymore ☺️
This was absolutely what I needed to hear. I always hear breathe in & out, relax, remove yourself bull shit. But that stuff didn’t help because no one explained exactly what that is doing. Release your anger through an outlet slowly and it will go away. So how I think of it is concentrate your anger into your finger tips or your breath and expel it. Make a fist then relax your fist letting the anger out. Breathe in gather all your anger into your lungs then let it out. I’m going to try this for sure Tomorrow since Ik I’m going to be angry tomorrow about a situation I foresee 😃😀 tanks random internet guy.
Did it work?Were you able to control your anger?
This guy is making me ANGRY!!!
So real, ive been destroying all my relationships and my house, doors, walls chairs.. Even my own body.. Damns this hits hard.
Never learned how to cope with anger and emotions as a kid. Thanks for the advice. I will try this
Great advice. Heavy exercise (long walk, run, weights, etc.)will also release the body tension because that loop of body tension will keep feeding the emotion. Pausing is a big first step once you feel it building.
Always thank you Mike!
You’ve helped me so much!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💝
That gives me hope for my grandson. Thank you for sharing ❤
Well said and such a challenging practice!
Feel it, breath in fully and breath out releasing it. 💙
This is perfect advice thank you 🙏🏼
I rlly needed this bc whenever I try to control my anger I end up crying
Crying is rlly necessary sometimes too tho
Thx this help allot growing up I had anger issues am trying to control my anger now
Good advice!!;It is not worth it . All it does is upset your internal body. I used to get angry whenever I could not find something.😮😮😮😮
breathing exercises and knowing why you breath at all helps, also you are a part of everything, all of us are, so we all express with variety, what you focus on you become is old adage, courage has rage in it, look to self to understand outside of self, "we throw anger onto.." yeah...thanks!
Thank you man, I just needed a reminder. I am the one who changes my reaction. Ive never had anger problems ever in my life until I got with my abusive ex about a year ago. I hate this new thing inside me. Ive never hated having anger as an emotion more than I do now. It feels involuntary when I get angry and all of my pain and trauma arises with it every single time I have any frustration now. I often catch myself just having angry thoughts and it makes me sick to my stomach. It only last for a moment because I know this has never been me and I can’t fall into this trap of becoming who my ex wants me to be. It’s just sick. I’ve never been this. If anyone is reading this, I’m crying as I’m typing this and I really would love any advice you have
You're not alone, I can relate to so much of what you said. I haven't been able to put into words what someone in my life has done to me via their rage issues. When they yell at me or take out their anger on me from whatever pissed them off today, it pulls up all of my trauma and creates anger abs sadness in me that I've never had in my life. They have changed who I am and I hate it.
Great advice. 2023 definition "release" i.e. hold it in, fellas.
Men expressing anger in an aggressive or destructive way is simply the way we express another feeling boys.
Sadness, neglect, disregard….etc, etc.
Yeah you might be angry and sometimes it’s justified but how you express it is very different.
Rage anger or throwing stuff simply makes everybody think your crazy and you lose already.
You never get what you want and go home with a heart full of shame.
We gotta learn to be part of humanity not the lunatics are fathers and grandfathers taught us.
There is still to smash shit but that’s only if your loved ones are in danger and you need to protect.
We gotta man up and deal with our shit better.
Breath, don’t react, think. Walk away, reflect.
When’s the last time you got angry and got what you wanted but didn’t scare your kids or your wife or anybody for that matter.
We live in a new world that needs us to adapt.
It doesn’t make us less of a man it makes us a better man.
Nice. Dont express it but release it. I love that
I love your channel! It has helped me so much already! Thank You! 🙏
like regaining control in general, noticing emotion and looking at it from second person perspective, you get above the entity being angry watching it and it get scared it's seen
Thanks for this you helped me get through many situations that could have been worse but I think about what you said and it makes it better❤🙂
Thank you. I never knew about this method. I hope this will help.
Destruction can be a good coping mechanism, but remember that everything has harmony, and you should only ever use anger responsibility.
What makes you think coping is healthy?
Practice the Four Agreements especially agreement #2
“Don’t take anything personally”. Whatever someone else is experiencing has nothing to do with my dream because they are living in their own dream.
I like this man. He's good.
i have rage, as edgy as it sounds it stems from just being passive and i suppose i am a people pleaser. I try to make a joke when really i want to beat the tar out of the person who offends me. I found a new joy in game development as petty as that sounds and i make the people that wronged me as the main antagonist, and I let the player beat them up with earthbound like humor along the way.
Now that is freakin awesome dude I know how hard it is dealing with nice guy syndrome it's literally the freaking devil. But I'm glad you found your outlet
The same happened to me a long time ago. I was a people pleaser and never said what I felt and acted how I felt. Then when I turned 11 I said "Fuck this" and now im 13 and here I am. In the flesh. I'm happy that I stopped being a fake people pleaser. I wish you the best of luck mate!
😃😃😃🤜🤛💪
If you can't change your attitude, change your circumstances.
If you can't change yoir circumstances, change your attitude.
Those are the options for a good outcome.
Woo, that is really amazing!
Sounds good.
I've just recently started to let out a lot of negative emotions that have been bottled up for years and i think /hope thid is really gonna help me to finally let go.
As a person who is mostly calm to the outside world.. when I’m enraged it’s like they saw a ghost.. it terrifies me because ppl gravitate towards me as a leader or a friend.. but when the switch switches.. nothing stands in my way.
Let me be clear.. my rage is for good. It’s always to protect. But that gets me in trouble
thank you for telling me that now I can’t kill my fist
Body image isn't always important since there's other versions of fit body's that are actualy better looking you're perfectly fine the way you are...The Personality and way how your express yourself to your video fans through UA-cam and to those who've hurt you before in the past and recently is what really actually matters the most and who you are on the inside deep down...Yeah, that's mentioned by myself because there's actually still a ton of worldclass jerks out there but knowing the kinds of feelings and emotions that certain experiences have actually caused us before in the past is actually what helps us to better much more prepare up for the next time and think of how to actually handle ourselves without the losers who've hurt us in some sort of way get away with it farther and furthur more.!!!
I think its good to feel it, but then we also need to listen to the message it has for us. Often times anger is a sign of boundaries being crossed so speaking up assertively is the next step to completely honor your anger and its purpose.
I am an explosive person. I don’t think I just say and end up hurting people with words or I end up hating myself because of how I am 😢
Trying to control or divert anger makes it even worst
Breathing is so important; this has definitely helped :)
I needed this thank you
Thanks, @MikeChangTraining. This is quite helpful, especially coming from a fellow Chang. :-)
It is also important to andress the situation that makes you angry. There is disfunctional angry (because of trauma or projection) and there is healthy anger.
Healthy anger is there to show you that your limits had been crossed. In that case, you need to adress the situation and set boundaries. Otherwise, you will get angry everytime the situation repeats and you will lose an opportunity to grow.
Anyway, this method helps with both. Thanks so much for sharing your emotional wisdom.
Who crossed limit is it me or the other?
I know I am responsible for my body but I don't know why a specific person makes me angry. I just feel it when I'm next to them and I just rather be alone,when I finally get alone and leave I cry cause I felt unsafe. I dont really know why I am getting angry or overprotective.
I want to protect my self from this person cause I feel like they are probably evil.but I don't know, I have no proof, I at the end I usually self reflect and just feel so angry at my self for being around them.
Why ? I mean I know I am incontrol n I have a freedom that is creating my life but im having a scenario repeat its self. It feels like the person is bulshitting me. But I have no proof other then their below minimum effort to give me closure. They say I'm crazy for feeling this way and I'm a jealous person, this is my dad I'm talking about. How can I be jealous of someone I love. But their actions show they only care about the self. Never my wellbeing. I get my wellbeing jeopardize just being in their presence too long
"Just dontget angry" thats the last thing you wanna hear when you're angry
My anger is so bad i sweared to my teacher so this vid helped real much❤
Thank you, I'm really trying to stop lashing out when I get mad because I usually start punching myself and I would like to stop that
Your skin is lovely…. Thank you for the advice…
Superb. Watch anger to get rid of it
I use to be the same way growing up I would punch the abandoned house next to where I grew up until my hands were spilling blood,
I was always getting into fights I was able to channel that towards bullies kids would come to me if they were being bullied eventually I learned to control the anger to let it pass as you described.
Running, biking, skateboarding & ddrawing helped alot too I use to push myself past the limit so I would say doing something active helps as well.
Thank you things have been hard and listening to this little trick is honestly helping
I never get rid of it, i embrace it because people have zero respect and they do not respect each other
Yo I just discovered your chanel from a french fit UA-camr and bro your content is insane. Some people might say that you gotten weird in some spiritual weird things but those people probably never meditated and tried to really learn about the self... You Ve gotten +1 sub😁thanks for what you r doing.
I agree, we have to experience it, but it's simplistic to expect it to subside. Depends on what the trigger is and the depth of the feelings. There are many causes of anger, sometimes it's an injury........
I use my anger in the gym, here’s a secret: It gives you better performance but when you feel angry take deep breaths
This is great advice! I remember first discovering you back in your six pack shortcuts days and you helped me get in the best shape of my life, and now, you're helping me learn how to become a better person in life, which is even more important. Keep up the great work bro and never stop helping people!
I thought he look familiar but i wasn't sure...i was wondering were he went lol 😊
I'm a big believer in somatic work to release anger, rather than trying to calm down
Shake, jump, scream into the pillow in a safe environment
I live in the Philippines now and it seems like everywhere I go someone has something hurtful and shotty to say about me. It’s like people despise me no matter what I do and how nice I am. I feel like exploding on them but don’t want to sit in a prison cell for months or years. It’s so bad that I don’t even leave my apartment for weeks and months.
Had to watch this video 3 times just to get the message. I kept getting lost in his eyes.😍
Anger isn't an emotion. It's a behavior.
Thank you six pack abs 🙌🏽
You can release anger when the situation that makes you angry changes. If it doesnt change it will never and it will not leave
It's more about mindfulness.
❤we all still have that angry kid inside of us so this vid was amazing help