Loss can be the most powerful motivator. When we get dumped by someone we love, it causes a shift in us to work on ourselves in order to feel better. But while we work on ourselves to feel better, we are actually paving the way to a new and reinvented version of ourselves we did not know existed. A version that more often then not, gets over our ex and attracts someone even more amazing....or we attract our ex and successfully get them back! Both outcomes are wonderful 🥰🥰
@@Sound7heWarCry love doesn't work like that, there's a lot of elements. Maybe you have to or should let them go even the ones you love. The momentum is always in the moment or in the special moments. Your ex should not have dumped you, and by doing so they lost an momentum. Even if you could have them back, maybe you shouldn't. It's not about everything is great, we are people not animals.
Could you imagine working on yourself and Improving yourself to the point you are in a career job getting paid $300 dollars a day 6 days a week and you get stability and a new car and a new look and your ex comes back and ruined it all and leaves again if she did it once she will do it again
This is one of his best videos and everyone who THINKS they want her back should watch it. In six weeks or six months, you'll realize you are better than her and she did you a huge favor.
Favor wouldn't be how I see it rather an opportunity to not be tunnel visioned and to truly see the greater picture who you are, your place in the world, what you want from your life.
Coach. I found your channel 4 weeks ago. I got dumped 5 weeks ago , a week after being dumped I was about to message her and beg , just in time my best mate sent me one of your videos ... I was in the middle of that text, watched your video about no contact and never sent that text..... . Seriously, I learnt some much from you in last 4 weeks. You made me a better man. Thank you Coach for being my UA-cam therapist! 34 days of NC ,I feel better in myself, got my confidence back, I'm positive about the future. Thank you!
...everybody would like too see the evolving story of the hero. Of course with happy end: raising from the ashes. It's like a cut into the 20th minute of the movie ;))
Don't put the keys to your happiness in someone else's pocket. After a period of no contact, he'll fade. As you focus on you, you'll focus less on him. He becomes insignificant.
NOTE TO SELF:. Take care of me first. Women need to learn this. Be so busy doing you that a man has to make appointments to see you. if a man breaks up with you, fine, let him go. it's his lost and another man will see what a catch up are. Break ups are for a reason. You'll look back and wonder what were you thinking!!
Isn’t the worrying thing that what you say is also happening to the other person? So does this no cintact thing actually work or are they really just seeing you as less and less significant and you’re fading to them?
@@airindiana do you really care? I mean, he walked away. I could care less about what he thinks. He lost the best thing in his life ...me. After time he is a non issue. If a man is not committed to working through the issues he is wasting your time.
S Smyth I wish I had your resolve with my girl of 10 years. 10 years doesn’t let go of you easily. It does matter to me as I want her back. That’s me being honest.
@@airindiana The heart wants what the heart wants. But if you love her and she wants to go, let her. Your heart will heal. Someone else is waiting for you.😌
That's exactly what happened to me. I confused fear of loss with love ans was hurting for nearly 2 months...than started no contact and after 2weeks realized I don't won't him back at all, I'm so much better off him...what a relief :) very good video!!! People take your time and don't panic ( like I did) everything is going to be fine x
Man yeah, she isn’t who I thought she was. She’s emotionally immature and I’m not sure if she’ll ever realize what she lost. She’s just anther person who will never find love and eventually become a single mother in a shitty relationship unless she wises up and realizes what’s really important in life: loyalty.
@@derrickmoon3296 very true. Crazy how women give advice that actually hurts women. This is why dads are so important for raising well adjusted members of society.
after 4 months of suffering and overthinking l'm at the point that l say to myself: OK. lf you dont want to be part of my journey then go back to your poor life and regret it later. l did not do anything wrong, l paid, bought everything in the last yr, she never had money, l was always a good openhearted person, l never wanted anything in return. But still it was not enough. Somtimes people are just to affraid of change and go back to the things they already used to have, even its 80% a more shitty life. x
I went thru the same thing. I gave her a million reasons to love me and it has been a lesson learned. I feel defeated after trying to be the best I could be to her in every aspect. I tryed to fill all those empty wholes that she said she didn't get from other relationships that she had talked about. In the end I ended up with nothing after 6 months. She broke up with me a little over a month ago. Luckily I found Coach Lee about a week after she broke my heart. I have followed all his instructions and have learned so much about how attraction works and just the mind set of people during break ups. I have done the no contact like he stresses. Obviously it's working. She has been contacting me off on. I haven't ignored her. She called me for something that doesn't concern her. It was just a reason to call me like coach talks about. I stayed on the phone with her for almost 40 minutes. I let her go and 3 hours later she texted me and told me it was good talking to me. I didn't respond back to her immediately. She pretty much handed me my balls back on a plate after dumping me. I loved her so much that I became a soft cookie. Obviously from what I have learned that is a turn off. She sees me moving on and going out and doing stuff on social media. I can see right thru her. This break up that she wanted is affecting her. I credit alot of this to what Coach Lee has taught me. Regardless I hope she realizes what she has given up on and regrets this......i hope you are doing better now. I know how you feel!
She had 5 children....catered for evrything...did things the she lacked her ex did......then turn around and say It won't work....ok...you depleted everything that I thought we were both working towards.....
To all my fellow dumpees; Hang in there things will get better. I just woke up this morning and realized that I lost interest on my ex whom I was chasing. As what coach Lee said sometimes think of the break up as blessing. And that's what I did ....everytime I think about the break up I say it loud "may be it is a blessing". It's funny how our brain works, you will be surprised how we could actually manipulates our thoughts. One thing that works forme too is.... I made a list of good and bad things about him. If good things about him are greater than bad things then your ex deserved to be chase around. In my case bad is greater than the good, so you have the idea what I did. Good Luck guys! I know it's hard but the power is within you, you can control your mind ... you just have to say it LOUD!
This is one of the most important videos and topics to go over after a break up! It took me such a long time, personally, to separate the feelings of love and hurt . It's so hard to even have clarity after a sudden loss. Especially if things were good. Gotta stay aware of what we feel and want for ourselves at all times.
I know I definitely I want him back, not because I want him more now, but because of what we had. It was the closest thing I had to a perfect relationship. It was amazing. To tell you the truth, since he ended things my feelings are not nearly as strong for him (because he hurt me), but because what we had was so amazing, I'm praying that this no contact thing works because I want to work through this hurdle and get back to where we were. I know it won't be easy because I will be guarded but I believe that if what we had was so special, we will be able to get back to that if we both work at it. And that's how I know that he's the one. This is the first time I've ever mourned the loss of somebody because of how good the relationship was and not because they left me. I just want to be happy with my man again.
hahaha slapping back the sense in us through all the hurt and other emotions is precisely what we need to get out of that misery WAY faster.. and with a much higher confidence! PRICELESS
Hi Lee, I don't know HOW I missed this video years ago, but I just found it tonight. This is an excellent video, and when I look back on who I was with, I had no choice but to leave him. He never loved me anyway bcse a narc cannot LOVE. I suffered for a couple years, but your videos got me thru my worst times. I felt better with you than with my Therapist. If something is meant to be, it will work out. Sometimes people make mistakes by breaking up, but remember, time will heal. Maybe you're better off without them. GREAT VIDEO LEE. ❤️
Wow, this is true and great insight. I never thought of this as this is EXACTLY what I'm feeling the loss of him. Although I can say I love him and I tried my best, I've been consumed w/ the break up, the loss of him, him having the control of taking himself away once again. I have had time to think and when I stop and think (get past the sadness I feel) about our dynamic he didn't treat me good and it was a toxic "relationship". He was never there for me, only wanted me when he wanted me and he made me feel bad for wanting to feel closer to him even after a yr together. He was very manipulative and emotionally abusive so yea, why would I want him back? This video really made me stop and realize that yes it's mostly "the loss" of him I am feeling, the fantasy/outcome that I wanted to happen. He cannot love me and has no desire to try and make anything work besides offering me friendship. He has even called me selfish for not wanting friendship bc I said I'm interested in him romantically and can't do the friend thing, that that isn't what I want for my life. Great video Coach!!! Thank u so much for once again shedding some light in this darkness I have been in, at times it has been overwhelming to deal w/. I so appreciate U!!! 🌬🙏🏻💗🙂👍🏻✨✌🏻
Damn im in exactly the same situation as you. My relationship was short, but I can identify those behaviors. Being careless with feelings, getting angry with no serious reason, being mean... and then being so selfish to come back offering u friendship and getting upset if you don't accept it. Damn stupid people lol. I guess sometimes we know that is not good for us but we still wanting it because we love them, and because the sense of loss. It's hard, but we have to let go this kind of toxic, selfish or inmature people. Greetings
I watched every one of your videos these past few days. They are incredible and you have helped to clarify so much. I did not look at this video until today because my focus was solely on getting my GF back. However, this is the video that resonated the most. Why? Because you helped me to realize that most of my intense feelings were around “loss”, and not about the person or the relationship itself. There was just so much wrong with it...and I am starting to see “the future” if I was successful in getting her back. It’s not a “pretty picture”. Thanks so much. I now know how to proceed without nagging fears and doubts....you are amazing, Coach Lee
Good morning to Coach lee and everyone here. I do not want any of my EX's back they are losers . I decided I want to move forward not backward in my life . I am in a healthy relationship now and smart enough to know the difference. Your videos have helped me Coach Lee and I thank you so much. I have learned a lot and have gained a lot of insight. Be well and stay safe everyone!
13 soft years, 8 hard years of ptsd-anxiety riddled loss after divorce. Maintaining my sanity and some low level amount of sustainable living has been almost impossible. He’s been shadowing the perimeter for a couple of weeks with senior family dog meeting plans..it finally hit me yesterday-- this is the playbook he’s run for 40 years to bait and switch me for his string along.🌎💚🤷♀️🤦🏼♀️👎🏾 He’s been remarried for 5/6 years…
Hello coach! These videos have been a great support throughout the last ten days. I am actually opening up to the idea of not needing him after living through some horrible pain. Now I realize that maybe this is for the best. I need support, yes, but not especially from HIM. Instead, I am feeling grateful for the good times we had in the last three years and while it still saddens me that he will not be by my side anymore, I'm looking forward to the future, to defeating my illness and becoming greater than ever. You helped a great deal, NC is the best that has happened to me for some time!
It's been 3 months after the breakup and 1 month NC. It hurts everyday and I cry everyday but I'm opening my eyes slowly and steadily. He was never right for me, we were just attached and the relationship was overall toxic. He was always jealous and we'd argue everyday, get hot and cold , he was barely ever there for me. He was selfish and he still is. Even right now, he stalks me and tries to make me jealous on social media, which I find so childish because he wants his ego stroked. I love him but I know I deserve better. He made me feel like I had so many flaws and never made me feel good about myself. My self esteem became low when I was dating him. Honestly he doesn't have a single quality that I appreciate in a man. I don't know why I was wanting him so much . I'm moving forward. I'm gonna block him everywhere and never respond.He doesn't deserve any explanation. Goodbye. I've hurt enough.
You were so right Coach Lee my ex contacted me two days ago. No contact really worked. I'm glad to here from him. I don't feel the same way as before. He act as if nothing has happened. He shows no concern for me. He has no clue of what I went through. When he texted me He never once said he missed me or asked how was I doing. I never told him I missed I said what happened to you, he never answered me. I now show no emotion for him and don't care about the other women. Maybe that time apart was blessing. The love I had for him He tossed it aside.
Yep... took me 2 weeks to realize that what is really hurting here is my pride, sure I care about him but I’m not in love with him and the relationship wasn’t what I really wanted... guess it’s time to move on. Still gonna listen to coach lee videos for a bit longer tho, at least this breakup definitely was an opportunity to gain a lot of insight on relationships lol
this is So right on! You have to pull the pain away and see it for what it truly was. And wasn't! Yes you are right to say that you have to separate the loss from everything else. Breakups suck because it's like you're on acid or something because your feelings are all over the place. Best to stay single forever!
I’m hurting so much. Broken up with after 2 years because he simply didn’t want to be in a relationship. He is hanging out with some new girl after a few weeks and I’m really hurt - I feel like I didnt mean anything to them. I miss him so much, and I want him to want me back, but I don’t think he’s good for me. Not a single one of his or my friends think he’s good for me either. The loss is overwhelming but why should I be with someone who doesn’t love me enough or have enough respect for me to not just bail when being in an adult relationship is just too hard?
I moved on along with your coaching Lee. the best and most straightforward of all. thank you so much and keep it up for the rest of the broken fellows.
This video cured me. Clarification. I woke up and dont feel anything for him. No I dont want the way hes treated me the last 2 yrs to last forever. What hell. One of the things he said was that he didnt feel were a good match because I'm better educated and read better. Hes an excellent carpenter. I turned it around in my head and thought what if I said I'm breaking up with you because I dont hammer nails very well?
In previous my comment I was happy my ex returned. On the out side he's hot with a nice body. I still like him. He' still the same person. Thank's to you Coach Lee. I understand now that I was upset about the loss. I feel now that if he disappeared again. That's his loss. During than time, I wrote down goals that want to accomplish.
This is timely. Just had a long prayer because this time, I've been weighing things. This is something I couldn't even do the day I started No Contact but now it just started like a natural questioning of things. We need to ask ourselves, Why did the break-up even happen? Was the reason repetitive? Are you just scared to be single? The good times, sure they can be cherished forever but do we really just want to feel those again with our ex? Can't we have something better in the future? My concern now is, what if I decide to not go back to my ex and my ex is the one ready for me. That my ex stopped the rebound relationship for me and I say no. Time can only answer this.
This definitely reinforces the understanding of my breakup. The relationship wasn’t that good for me. After his contact, I only wanted to be left without the problems in the relationship 👍🏼
When she left I wanted her back but after I became the best I could be with many woman to confirm it i lost my desire to have her back and only remembered the negatives about her, rejection breeds desire but it's not real.
This video is pure GOLD. I want to share the following, maybe it will help someone who is in the same situation My ex was physically abusive, he cheated on me twice and has a gambling addiction which made him lie constantly. Still I had such a high sense of loss, being a very anxiously attached person, that I could not see that he was bad for me. I have hoped for him to return for 8 months. It now seems that he is dating someone new , I feel like knowing this can actually help me to move on. And I feel bad for the new girl
Now what I'm thinking, I need myself. I'd rather have myself than my ex. Tho I still love and forgive her, I am moving forward to the Most improved "ME". I'm just Proud of myself. If it's meant to be, we will be. But for no it's ME, MYSELF and I. Cheers!! 🍻🍻
Happy for you. If this is your genuine, final, and you don't mean harm to your ex, just go on and focus on yourself. Time is your friend and if the door opens for the two of you, and you both are the improved versions of yourselves, even better.
@@ramirenriquez6795 I never closed my door since she left me. It's still open. "BUT" if ever who comes in first, then she is Blessed to have me. Im just enjoying myself right now. Im totally healed and confidently say that "I'm really okay" now. A lot of blessing came to me when she dumped me. I didn't expect that thing happened. I just Believed and Trusted God for His better plan for me.
They say that time heals, so common thing to hear but it does right? Good for you. Maybe even our ex will learn something valuable from everything that happened. You just saved yourself some dignity for staying away and healing on your own. I'm in the process of doing this and glad to see this works on other people like you. Thank you
Wiz Enz I cheated on my ex by texting another girl and sending stuff. She broke up with me and I begged and pleaded to her for 3 days straight. Then I said I’m sorry ik what I did was wrong and I’m sorry for it then I said if you want to talk I’ll be here. Then I asked if it worth trying couple days after and she said it isn’t and I think she’s talking to other guys. She said her friends and family hates me. I am currently 2 and a half weeks no contact but she tried to call me on FaceTime couple days ago but I was at drill practice so I couldn’t answer. I asked her if it was an accident then she said it was. Then after I seen her texting other guys. What should I do????
@@NinetyFourGrown96797 Bro, on my opinion she's upset on what you did. Cheating is a choice brother. Now, keep moving forward. Improve yourself and let her see that what you did, is definitely wrong. Change whatever you have to change. And forgive yourself. But remember to pray and seek guidance to Him. Ask for forgiveness. And you'll see what will happened. Just continue no contact. God blesa
Things are so much clearer for me after watching this video. My lady has done a disappearing act on me after 18 months of being very close. I’m feeling the loss. I didn’t love her and it wasn’t always a good relationship. Isn’t it mad how when this happens, we only think about the good times? We forget about things like her being drunk EVERY night and starting arguments out of nothing, never acknowledging that she has a drink problem despite it affecting her life adversely. ( she got sacked from a job for being drunk). But we had many shared interests and I liked her a lot. The drink thing made me keep her at arms length in terms of me not falling in love with her. I’ll miss her a lot. But I now realise that she just used me while there were Covid restrictions and she had nobody else to be with.
Like a lot of these videos, this one in particular speaks right to me. I think this is the most important video I have ever seen and has really helped me see the situation for what it is. It’s so easy to not see clearly no matter how smart and self-aware you are a Thank you Coach Lee!
Awesome video. As you make your money helping people wanting their ex back, it's even more real. Haaaa, real life and its complexity. I've pondered this myself many times, and there's no clear answer. A good chunk of it IS the feeling of loss, of having this imposed on me, the way it was done but no chance at a solution (besides NC of course). But there are also lots of mixed feelings, from love to realizing it might never work if we got back together. Besides the amazing sexual chemistry, TRUST was the main reason I loved her so. And that can probably never get back to an acceptable level for a relationship again. Some girl told me about the broken vase analogy: you can mend it all back together, but the cracks will still show, and it can break again easily. Yet a good part of us wants to try again doesn't it...
Coach Lee I appreciate your honesty. You are very smart and intuitive. I love all your videos. You help all us broken hearted ...to heal and to open our eyes
I’m starting to feel this way. I do love her and did want with her but I’m starting to doubt it. Could it be because I haven’t seen/ talked to them in some time?
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He only wanted a friendship so I broke up with him and thought if I did the no contact he would want me back but after 60 day no contact I began to realize I don't care about him just this feeling of loss. I am better off without him, time showed me that he was just a nice guy who liked to dance. I miss the dancing part but not him, just loss of companionship that we never had and I thought I wanted.
Hi Coach! Probably one of your best videos & worth listening to a few times. Long time since our break-up but we were in touch the majority of it up until 38 days ago (RS). Loss is tremendous, true, however I still want her back as ‘together’ we were so good. The external forces (LDR 1/2 of it) and her mother’s neediness (and my mistakes surrounding that!) is what destroyed us. We’re in the same town now as of a year but she thinks the grass is greener & doesn’t trust me. I have seen a lot of ugly behavior from her and Narc traits before that as I have remained kind; it annoys her how kind I have been. RS is all I can do 😌
Sister Ces you have beautiful and kind soul. I was there too. I gave her everything and she gave me nothing but boot. She is playing games but at least it shows that she still cares about you and is thinking about you otherwise she would not bother writing you like most of us are experiencing. do not worry. i do believe that she will be back. have patience and towards yourself. grass is never greener on other side unless you were abusing her. just pull away and focus on you. what is meant to be will be. but please I advice listening to miss: abraham hicks for helping with a calm mindset.
Chris Bryant thank you for your kind words. I haven’t heard from her in 38 days so I don’t believe she cares at all. She has far too much pride to ever admit she’s made a mistake leaning me & I think she’ll choose to stay alone or with anyone else than ever return to me. I have listened to Abraham Hicks but I’m afraid all that positivity only lasts so long with me. I’m just taking day by day.
its about law of attraction and being whole by yourself sister. yes take it day by day because you never know what is happening. i know a month is long time but give it time
@@billclay5188 yes, I got her back last year. Let’s just say all her weird behavior is because she has BPD - something I wasn’t aware of or had blinders on. My eyes are wide open now and refuse to put up with her erratic behavior. We’ve been off & on a year (currently off & hope it stays off). Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it and then some.
We just broke up yesterday I found out she got mad at me and got on an dating app just because I didn’t feel like going out drinking Saturday night then last night she came over and got her things then tried to take back the dog that SHE got me lol nope I’m hurt but mostly at the person she showed me these past few days so Idk if even want her back or not
Thanks man you are doing a great thing for people, I don't want the relationship back, just wanna get over it, but I do want her friendship back we never fought and she was an amazing friend
After the break up, I went on no contact rule though is very very hard to do. I break it on my first 7days. But I eventually start over it again and it went sweet for. She call me but couldn't reach me out cause offed my sim. On the third week she called my Dad and ask of me.. so on my sim and we talked. She said it seems that am avoiding her and that she doesn't understand me anymore. Dr. What should I do now cause I gave her excuses that am very busy all this while that's the reason we couldn't talk then. She even related to me what happened to her younger brother. So I don't know where to pick it up again because I told her that we talk later. Please 🙏 🙏🙏 help me thanks alot.. your advice has been helpful to my life
Wow Coach! I realized that the old may have died, but it could be a chance to see a different person who will be better than the first! Like a seed, dieing to self to resurrect New Life.
Yesterday i broke no contact and watched my ex story, she was with one of her crushes she had before we were together, i didnt want the story from my personal account, but either way it was a huge mistake, now even more depressed but relized she isnt who i tought she was, she broke up with me 3 weeks ago, i miss her so kuch and miss the amazing moments wee had toghether but its gone and i can move on so i will
You nailed it for me ,this is how I’m feeling after 16 years of marriage ,he cheated on me twice. And then broke up with me. Because he feels he deserves better than me!
My situation is a bit different. What does it mean when my ex ended the relationship & I felt relieved for the first 3 weeks? Then she wanted to exchange our things but didn’t want to do it seeing each other. I felt so insulted first that she couldn’t woman up & dump me face to face. Second couldn’t even exchange our things face to face like mature adults. From that point I really started feeling the loss & missing her deeply. Still really feeling the loss one & a half months in, 3 weeks no contact. I guess it really is true, you really find out what a person is like when you go through a breakup with them.
No contact 3 weeks. he text something stupid I responded friendly. He responded to that with " I said we're done" I'm confused as to why he has to restate something that I'm great with. I've agreed and let him have the break up . 🤔 Not sure about this confusing situation..
I love my ex-significant-other, but at this point, I don’t think I would take him back unless he agreed to go to couple’s therapy. He has told me everything he sees wrong with me, but I need him to see that it takes two to tango and that he is not without fault in this. I think if he could get past whatever block kept him from going to a couple’s counselor with me before, having that third party and neutral space for airing our grievances could go a long way to helping us put the pieces back together.
Ohevshalornel, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation. myexbackcoach.com/ebk
I don't want my ex back. This is the second time she broke up with me. This time she left me because I was struggling with anxiety and insomnia and she couldn't deal with it so she dumped me to go hook up with guys on dating apps. She lied and said she was working on herself, and said we'd eventually work on things. She kept me on the backburner to sleep around. I found out myself and after months of hoping, im finally moving on from her. i struggled for months missing her, stressing every night, losing sleep. i let the stress destroy me, but at least i got closure and now i can recover. if someone leaves you to be with other people, itll never work. We deserve someone better.
Martin Bogush. I don't blame you for not taking her back. That's very COLD of her not to understand your condition. Coach Lee has Anxiety videos in his library, and they help. I tried them, and it works! Go to Coach Lee videos and you will find it in there. Also, I can recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you immensely. myexbackcoach.com/ebk Good luck to you.
You are sooooo good couch Lee..I really don't whant him to come back because our rationship not going to work anyway..and he has now a rebound.. but I whant him to regret and test his own medicine.. only then I will be free from hom forever..NC for almost 7 months now and I know he noticed that because this is the first time I did that I was always there texting and calling .. thanks a lot
Glad I’m watching this video. I know I’m sad over the loss but with more time maybe I will have clarity. It’s been under two months since he gave me away. I’ve wondered too if I’m confusing loss and love
I got myself into quite the predicament... both married although I'm separated and ready to leave my marriage... was with the guy for a year and a half, long distance for the most part, he can't leave his family and broke it off but he still wants platonic contact....in addition I've been begging and pleading for a good 5 months on and off... what are the odds there🤦♀️....I don't want to love him anymore....I know for a fact that I wouldn't want to have to deal with family drama and hurting kids....yet I still feel so incredibly broken and can't seem to move on...I wonder if it's him I'm in love with or the idea of the perfect relationship and being loved....but how can an idea tear my heart to pieces the way it does
Megan Frisbie, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation. myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Truth. Truth. We have to think of these things too. We've got to be sure or be careful what we ask for. We may just get it. All of it. Wise video here🙌🙌
Damn, I still want her back, but a bit less now. I think there is that sense of loss and I also like(d) her a lot, despite all the flaws. And yet, there is a voice in my head that is telling me that she would not be good for me in the long run. I just need some more time to cool off, then I will see things more clear.
Yea his issues was with an ex constantly keeping in contact.....total fecking disrespect for me the both of them......him allowing it....and he wonders why I constantly accused him of cheating on me with her not physically but mentally.....he can have her Im done
Hey coach Lee how u doin? You are the best coach that i followed, i watched and followed all your videos after the break up that i had almost 3 months ago. I learned a lot from u, I listened to your videos everyday to give me hope and made me feel better. Would you mind to make a video about reaching out (as dumpee) to an ex based on your client who successfully made it won their ex after certain period of time? In other words, the temporary nc vs permanent nc like one of your video.I'm having second thought reaching out on my ex. It's been almost 3 months since we break up and she's been reaching out once in a while after the break up the longest nc that i had was 27 days, last time she reached out was two 2 weeks ago but never reach out again. Thank u coach Lee more power to you.
Hmm did coach really mention anything about permanent nc? I believe he always says to respond whenever an ex wants to meet up. Now that's different with "testing" you where an ex just asks how you're doing and no direct invitation to meet up. If your ex already expressed and invited you for a meet up, schedule it
It feels like I’m doing the no contact rule on myself because as time goes on I’m feeling what I initially didn’t. I was so distraught and in loss of motivation when it happened Bc I saw it coming that i DONT even know anymore. But it’s been hurting a lot almost a month after. At first they said they’d never find someone like me, but now I feel they’re thinking differently and it’s eating at me. Perhaps our future together wouldn’t be ideal, not with how she is now.
Started thinking recently if l’m feeling like this from this person treating me like that now what would it be like in 5 years with this person. No good for me.
Jelova, what he did was date other people and realized the GRASS IS NOT GREENER. So, now he wants you back? No way! He will do it again. I would NOT take him back.
Mine reached out after nearly a month asking if I was free, I didn’t see the message then she wished me happy birthday for 4 days from now and I genuinely feel ambivalent towards her.. I feel some degree of disgust and sadness and uncertainty :|
I feel the loss but I know i still love and adore the woman. Married 23 years and yes we did have some bad times but we had loads of great times. The last couple of months leading up to the break up were all good times but she ended it anyway. I begged, pleaded and cried. I also lost my 2 youngest thanks to CV. I am hurting, I am in nc but my 2 eldest who don't even live with us are always at the ex to get back together so I dont know if nc will work. I'm lost, don't know how to fix it and that scares me
After reflecting for a month, I don’t think I want her back. It hurt the first month and I’ve wanted her back so bad but, idk it’s probably not worth it
Thank you coach Lee now I've seen my insight about him if I want him back it open my eyes to the reality if I have the future with him coz we tend to focus on LOST! I begin to think I guess I'm better without him when it comes to financial and his health specially getting visa stuff like that
Thank you coach! I know this breakup was for the best. He wasn't that into me, he wasn't invested and also he was cold and distant. I have to accept that though I'm still sad because they've been only 20 days since he dumped me. I will move on.
Loss can be the most powerful motivator. When we get dumped by someone we love, it causes a shift in us to work on ourselves in order to feel better. But while we work on ourselves to feel better, we are actually paving the way to a new and reinvented version of ourselves we did not know existed. A version that more often then not, gets over our ex and attracts someone even more amazing....or we attract our ex and successfully get them back! Both outcomes are wonderful 🥰🥰
Deranged Titan 🤗🤗✨
@@Sound7heWarCry love doesn't work like that, there's a lot of elements. Maybe you have to or should let them go even the ones you love. The momentum is always in the moment or in the special moments. Your ex should not have dumped you, and by doing so they lost an momentum. Even if you could have them back, maybe you shouldn't. It's not about everything is great, we are people not animals.
Paul Cheung that’s a terrible idea: I believe in freewill.
Could you imagine working on yourself and Improving yourself to the point you are in a career job getting paid $300 dollars a day 6 days a week and you get stability and a new car and a new look and your ex comes back and ruined it all and leaves again if she did it once she will do it again
Or you become an alcoholic, like me
This is one of his best videos and everyone who THINKS they want her back should watch it. In six weeks or six months, you'll realize you are better than her and she did you a huge favor.
Favor wouldn't be how I see it rather an opportunity to not be tunnel visioned and to truly see the greater picture who you are, your place in the world, what you want from your life.
Coach. I found your channel 4 weeks ago. I got dumped 5 weeks ago , a week after being dumped I was about to message her and beg , just in time my best mate sent me one of your videos ...
I was in the middle of that text, watched your video about no contact and never sent that text..... .
Seriously, I learnt some much from you in last 4 weeks. You made me a better man. Thank you Coach for being my UA-cam therapist!
34 days of NC ,I feel better in myself, got my confidence back, I'm positive about the future. Thank you!
any update?
Really need an update??
How are things now my man?
Update
...everybody would like too see the evolving story of the hero. Of course with happy end: raising from the ashes.
It's like a cut into the 20th minute of the movie ;))
Don't put the keys to your happiness in someone else's pocket.
After a period of no contact, he'll fade. As you focus on you, you'll focus less on him. He becomes insignificant.
NOTE TO SELF:. Take care of me first.
Women need to learn this. Be so busy doing you that a man has to make appointments to see you.
if a man breaks up with you, fine, let him go. it's his lost and another man will see what a catch up are. Break ups are for a reason. You'll look back and wonder what were you thinking!!
Isn’t the worrying thing that what you say is also happening to the other person? So does this no cintact thing actually work or are they really just seeing you as less and less significant and you’re fading to them?
@@airindiana do you really care? I mean, he walked away. I could care less about what he thinks. He lost the best thing in his life ...me. After time he is a non issue. If a man is not committed to working through the issues he is wasting your time.
S Smyth I wish I had your resolve with my girl of 10 years. 10 years doesn’t let go of you easily. It does matter to me as I want her back. That’s me being honest.
@@airindiana The heart wants what the heart wants. But if you love her and she wants to go, let her. Your heart will heal. Someone else is waiting for you.😌
That's exactly what happened to me. I confused fear of loss with love ans was hurting for nearly 2 months...than started no contact and after 2weeks realized I don't won't him back at all, I'm so much better off him...what a relief :) very good video!!! People take your time and don't panic ( like I did) everything is going to be fine x
Man yeah, she isn’t who I thought she was. She’s emotionally immature and I’m not sure if she’ll ever realize what she lost. She’s just anther person who will never find love and eventually become a single mother in a shitty relationship unless she wises up and realizes what’s really important in life: loyalty.
They listen to 50 year old cat ladies that it's better to be alone and spend your money freely
@@derrickmoon3296 very true. Crazy how women give advice that actually hurts women. This is why dads are so important for raising well adjusted members of society.
@@CharlesFerraro it's because that cat lady is lonely inside and thry want other like them.
holy…youre spot on man…
sucks nowadays cuz they take advice from twitter/tiktok or girls who usually dont even have happy relationships of their own
If you see this video right after the break up you will think Coach lee is full of crap .
But after a couple months you realize that it is very true .
It is not clear, what you mean,"that is true"?
A. Coach Lee is full of crap or
B. What he says is tru
;)
after 4 months of suffering and overthinking l'm at the point that l say to myself: OK. lf you dont want to be part of my journey then go back to your poor life and regret it later. l did not do anything wrong, l paid, bought everything in the last yr, she never had money, l was always a good openhearted person, l never wanted anything in return. But still it was not enough. Somtimes people are just to affraid of change and go back to the things they already used to have, even its 80% a more shitty life.
x
Amen brother I was in the same boat
I went thru the same thing. I gave her a million reasons to love me and it has been a lesson learned. I feel defeated after trying to be the best I could be to her in every aspect. I tryed to fill all those empty wholes that she said she didn't get from other relationships that she had talked about. In the end I ended up with nothing after 6 months. She broke up with me a little over a month ago. Luckily I found Coach Lee about a week after she broke my heart. I have followed all his instructions and have learned so much about how attraction works and just the mind set of people during break ups. I have done the no contact like he stresses. Obviously it's working. She has been contacting me off on. I haven't ignored her. She called me for something that doesn't concern her. It was just a reason to call me like coach talks about. I stayed on the phone with her for almost 40 minutes. I let her go and 3 hours later she texted me and told me it was good talking to me. I didn't respond back to her immediately. She pretty much handed me my balls back on a plate after dumping me. I loved her so much that I became a soft cookie. Obviously from what I have learned that is a turn off. She sees me moving on and going out and doing stuff on social media. I can see right thru her. This break up that she wanted is affecting her. I credit alot of this to what Coach Lee has taught me. Regardless I hope she realizes what she has given up on and regrets this......i hope you are doing better now. I know how you feel!
I have spent months studying getting your ex back and discovered a great resource at Partner Reboot Recipe (check it out on google)
Totally agree
She had 5 children....catered for evrything...did things the she lacked her ex did......then turn around and say It won't work....ok...you depleted everything that I thought we were both working towards.....
To all my fellow dumpees;
Hang in there things will get better. I just woke up this morning and realized that I lost interest on my ex whom I was chasing. As what coach Lee said sometimes think of the break up as blessing. And that's what I did ....everytime I think about the break up I say it loud "may be it is a blessing".
It's funny how our brain works, you will be surprised how we could actually manipulates our thoughts.
One thing that works forme too is.... I made a list of good and bad things about him. If good things about him are greater than bad things then your ex deserved to be chase around. In my case bad is greater than the good, so you have the idea what I did.
Good Luck guys! I know it's hard but the power is within you, you can control your mind ... you just have to say it LOUD!
Update???
This is one of the most important videos and topics to go over after a break up!
It took me such a long time, personally, to separate the feelings of love and hurt . It's so hard to even have clarity after a sudden loss. Especially if things were good.
Gotta stay aware of what we feel and want for ourselves at all times.
sir coach lee sir, it is always a blessing. breakup is always a blessing and wakeup call for you to improve in life.
I know I definitely I want him back, not because I want him more now, but because of what we had. It was the closest thing I had to a perfect relationship. It was amazing. To tell you the truth, since he ended things my feelings are not nearly as strong for him (because he hurt me), but because what we had was so amazing, I'm praying that this no contact thing works because I want to work through this hurdle and get back to where we were. I know it won't be easy because I will be guarded but I believe that if what we had was so special, we will be able to get back to that if we both work at it. And that's how I know that he's the one. This is the first time I've ever mourned the loss of somebody because of how good the relationship was and not because they left me. I just want to be happy with my man again.
I feel you. How are things since?
How did it play out?
I love how Coach Lee takes these desperate questions and slaps back the sense in you. Thank you for accelerating my healing
hahaha slapping back the sense in us through all the hurt and other emotions is precisely what we need to get out of that misery WAY faster.. and with a much higher confidence! PRICELESS
Hi Lee, I don't know HOW I missed this video years ago, but I just found it tonight. This is an excellent video, and when I look back on who I was with, I had no choice but to leave him. He never loved me anyway bcse a narc cannot LOVE. I suffered for a couple years, but your videos got me thru my worst times. I felt better with you than with my Therapist. If something is meant to be, it will work out. Sometimes people make mistakes by breaking up, but remember, time will heal. Maybe you're better off without them. GREAT VIDEO LEE. ❤️
Wow, this is true and great insight. I never thought of this as this is EXACTLY what I'm feeling the loss of him.
Although I can say I love him and I tried my best, I've been consumed w/ the break up, the loss of him, him having the control of taking himself away once again. I have had time to think and when I stop and think (get past the sadness I feel) about our dynamic he didn't treat me good and it was a toxic "relationship".
He was never there for me, only wanted me when he wanted me and he made me feel bad for wanting to feel closer to him even after a yr together. He was very manipulative and emotionally abusive so yea, why would I want him back?
This video really made me stop and realize that yes it's mostly "the loss" of him I am feeling, the fantasy/outcome that I wanted to happen. He cannot love me and has no desire to try and make anything work besides offering me friendship.
He has even called me selfish for not wanting friendship bc I said I'm interested in him romantically and can't do the friend thing, that that isn't what I want for my life.
Great video Coach!!!
Thank u so much for once again shedding some light in this darkness I have been in, at times it has been overwhelming to deal w/.
I so appreciate U!!!
🌬🙏🏻💗🙂👍🏻✨✌🏻
I completely identify with everything you said.
Damn im in exactly the same situation as you. My relationship was short, but I can identify those behaviors. Being careless with feelings, getting angry with no serious reason, being mean... and then being so selfish to come back offering u friendship and getting upset if you don't accept it. Damn stupid people lol. I guess sometimes we know that is not good for us but we still wanting it because we love them, and because the sense of loss. It's hard, but we have to let go this kind of toxic, selfish or inmature people. Greetings
Did you stick with your decision?
I know for a fact that I shouldn’t want her, as she is a bad person, but I so want her back…
Coach... i hope this becomes one of the top three videos on your channel. Well done!
I watched every one of your videos these past few days. They are incredible and you have helped to clarify so much. I did not look at this video until today because my focus was solely on getting my GF back. However, this is the video that resonated the most. Why? Because you helped me to realize that most of my intense feelings were around “loss”, and not about the person or the relationship itself. There was just so much wrong with it...and I am starting to see “the future” if I was successful in getting her back. It’s not a “pretty picture”. Thanks so much. I now know how to proceed without nagging fears and doubts....you are amazing, Coach Lee
Good morning to Coach lee and everyone here. I do not want any of my EX's back they are losers . I decided I want to move forward not backward in my life . I am in a healthy relationship now and smart enough to know the difference. Your videos have helped me Coach Lee and I thank you so much. I have learned a lot and have gained a lot of insight. Be well and stay safe everyone!
13 soft years, 8 hard years of ptsd-anxiety riddled loss after divorce. Maintaining my sanity and some low level amount of sustainable living has been almost impossible. He’s been shadowing the perimeter for a couple of weeks with senior family dog meeting plans..it finally hit me yesterday-- this is the playbook he’s run for 40 years to bait and switch me for his string along.🌎💚🤷♀️🤦🏼♀️👎🏾 He’s been remarried for 5/6 years…
Your always better off without a person that could leave you.
Hello coach! These videos have been a great support throughout the last ten days. I am actually opening up to the idea of not needing him after living through some horrible pain. Now I realize that maybe this is for the best. I need support, yes, but not especially from HIM. Instead, I am feeling grateful for the good times we had in the last three years and while it still saddens me that he will not be by my side anymore, I'm looking forward to the future, to defeating my illness and becoming greater than ever. You helped a great deal, NC is the best that has happened to me for some time!
You're awesome coach Lee. Thank you. I can sleep peacefully now , not worrying about her
It's been 3 months after the breakup and 1 month NC. It hurts everyday and I cry everyday but I'm opening my eyes slowly and steadily. He was never right for me, we were just attached and the relationship was overall toxic. He was always jealous and we'd argue everyday, get hot and cold , he was barely ever there for me. He was selfish and he still is. Even right now, he stalks me and tries to make me jealous on social media, which I find so childish because he wants his ego stroked. I love him but I know I deserve better. He made me feel like I had so many flaws and never made me feel good about myself. My self esteem became low when I was dating him. Honestly he doesn't have a single quality that I appreciate in a man. I don't know why I was wanting him so much . I'm moving forward. I'm gonna block him everywhere and never respond.He doesn't deserve any explanation. Goodbye. I've hurt enough.
You were so right Coach Lee my ex contacted me two days ago.
No contact really worked. I'm glad to here from him. I don't feel the same way as before. He act as if nothing has happened. He shows no concern for me. He has no clue of what I went through. When he texted me He never once said he missed me or asked how was I doing. I never told him I missed I said what happened to you, he never answered me. I now show no emotion for him and don't care about the other women. Maybe that time apart was blessing. The love I had for him He tossed it aside.
Yep... took me 2 weeks to realize that what is really hurting here is my pride, sure I care about him but I’m not in love with him and the relationship wasn’t what I really wanted... guess it’s time to move on. Still gonna listen to coach lee videos for a bit longer tho, at least this breakup definitely was an opportunity to gain a lot of insight on relationships lol
this is So right on! You have to pull the pain away and see it for what it truly was. And wasn't! Yes you are right to say that you have to separate the loss from everything else. Breakups suck because it's like you're on acid or something because your feelings are all over the place. Best to stay single forever!
😂😂😂😂😂 it's like we're on acid!! 😂😂😂😂😂
I didn't know being under acid was so horrible. How can people can it voluntarily?
I’m hurting so much. Broken up with after 2 years because he simply didn’t want to be in a relationship. He is hanging out with some new girl after a few weeks and I’m really hurt - I feel like I didnt mean anything to them.
I miss him so much, and I want him to want me back, but I don’t think he’s good for me. Not a single one of his or my friends think he’s good for me either. The loss is overwhelming but why should I be with someone who doesn’t love me enough or have enough respect for me to not just bail when being in an adult relationship is just too hard?
This video is on the money, a little bit of thinking in solitude can make a huge difference
I moved on along with your coaching Lee. the best and most straightforward of all. thank you so much and keep it up for the rest of the broken fellows.
This video cured me. Clarification. I woke up and dont feel anything for him. No I dont want the way hes treated me the last 2 yrs to last forever. What hell. One of the things he said was that he didnt feel were a good match because I'm better educated and read better. Hes an excellent carpenter. I turned it around in my head and thought what if I said I'm breaking up with you because I dont hammer nails very well?
In previous my comment I was happy my ex returned. On the out side he's hot with a nice body. I still like him. He' still the same person. Thank's to you Coach Lee.
I understand now that I was upset about the loss. I feel now that if he disappeared again. That's his loss.
During than time, I wrote down goals that want to accomplish.
This is timely. Just had a long prayer because this time, I've been weighing things. This is something I couldn't even do the day I started No Contact but now it just started like a natural questioning of things. We need to ask ourselves, Why did the break-up even happen? Was the reason repetitive? Are you just scared to be single?
The good times, sure they can be cherished forever but do we really just want to feel those again with our ex? Can't we have something better in the future?
My concern now is, what if I decide to not go back to my ex and my ex is the one ready for me. That my ex stopped the rebound relationship for me and I say no. Time can only answer this.
This definitely reinforces the understanding of my breakup. The relationship wasn’t that good for me. After his contact, I only wanted to be left without the problems in the relationship 👍🏼
Did he come back eventually?
This should be the pre-requisite to all other NC videos by Coach Lee. Excellent stuff. Hang in there gang
This guy makes so much sense
When she left I wanted her back but after I became the best I could be with many woman to confirm it i lost my desire to have her back and only remembered the negatives about her, rejection breeds desire but it's not real.
This video is pure GOLD.
I want to share the following, maybe it will help someone who is in the same situation
My ex was physically abusive, he cheated on me twice and has a gambling addiction which made him lie constantly.
Still I had such a high sense of loss, being a very anxiously attached person, that I could not see that he was bad for me. I have hoped for him to return for 8 months.
It now seems that he is dating someone new , I feel like knowing this can actually help me to move on.
And I feel bad for the new girl
Jinglebels365, DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK! EVER!
Four weeks into no contact and I’ve begun to have these debates with myself. Hope to have things figured out before she reaches out, if she does
Danny Soto. I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you.
It's awesome and it has strategies for every situation.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Now what I'm thinking, I need myself. I'd rather have myself than my ex. Tho I still love and forgive her, I am moving forward to the Most improved "ME". I'm just Proud of myself. If it's meant to be, we will be. But for no it's ME, MYSELF and I. Cheers!! 🍻🍻
Happy for you. If this is your genuine, final, and you don't mean harm to your ex, just go on and focus on yourself. Time is your friend and if the door opens for the two of you, and you both are the improved versions of yourselves, even better.
@@ramirenriquez6795 I never closed my door since she left me. It's still open. "BUT" if ever who comes in first, then she is Blessed to have me. Im just enjoying myself right now. Im totally healed and confidently say that "I'm really okay" now. A lot of blessing came to me when she dumped me. I didn't expect that thing happened. I just Believed and Trusted God for His better plan for me.
They say that time heals, so common thing to hear but it does right? Good for you. Maybe even our ex will learn something valuable from everything that happened. You just saved yourself some dignity for staying away and healing on your own. I'm in the process of doing this and glad to see this works on other people like you. Thank you
Wiz Enz I cheated on my ex by texting another girl and sending stuff. She broke up with me and I begged and pleaded to her for 3 days straight. Then I said I’m sorry ik what I did was wrong and I’m sorry for it then I said if you want to talk I’ll be here. Then I asked if it worth trying couple days after and she said it isn’t and I think she’s talking to other guys. She said her friends and family hates me. I am currently 2 and a half weeks no contact but she tried to call me on FaceTime couple days ago but I was at drill practice so I couldn’t answer. I asked her if it was an accident then she said it was. Then after I seen her texting other guys. What should I do????
@@NinetyFourGrown96797 Bro, on my opinion she's upset on what you did. Cheating is a choice brother. Now, keep moving forward. Improve yourself and let her see that what you did, is definitely wrong. Change whatever you have to change. And forgive yourself. But remember to pray and seek guidance to Him. Ask for forgiveness. And you'll see what will happened. Just continue no contact. God blesa
Things are so much clearer for me after watching this video. My lady has done a disappearing act on me after 18 months of being very close.
I’m feeling the loss. I didn’t love her and it wasn’t always a good relationship. Isn’t it mad how when this happens, we only think about the good times? We forget about things like her being drunk
EVERY night and starting arguments out of nothing, never acknowledging that she has a drink problem despite it affecting her life adversely. ( she got sacked from a job for being drunk).
But we had many shared interests and I liked her a lot. The drink thing made me keep her at arms length in terms of me not falling in love with her.
I’ll miss her a lot. But I now realise that she just used me while there were Covid restrictions and she had nobody else to be with.
So true... My ex lied to me and has been flirting since our break up on Facebook what a jerk!
Like a lot of these videos, this one in particular speaks right to me.
I think this is the most important video I have ever seen and has really helped me see the situation for what it is.
It’s so easy to not see clearly no matter how smart and self-aware you are a
Thank you Coach Lee!
Awesome video. As you make your money helping people wanting their ex back, it's even more real. Haaaa, real life and its complexity. I've pondered this myself many times, and there's no clear answer. A good chunk of it IS the feeling of loss, of having this imposed on me, the way it was done but no chance at a solution (besides NC of course). But there are also lots of mixed feelings, from love to realizing it might never work if we got back together. Besides the amazing sexual chemistry, TRUST was the main reason I loved her so. And that can probably never get back to an acceptable level for a relationship again. Some girl told me about the broken vase analogy: you can mend it all back together, but the cracks will still show, and it can break again easily. Yet a good part of us wants to try again doesn't it...
Coach Lee I appreciate your honesty. You are very smart and intuitive. I love all your videos. You help all us broken hearted ...to heal and to open our eyes
I’m starting to feel this way. I do love her and did want with her but I’m starting to doubt it. Could it be because I haven’t seen/ talked to them in some time?
Yes! You can! You can be happy by yourself.
I don't know if I want my ex back. he was really mean to me for no reason
Selfish people we love... I know what you feel
I m a greatl powerful manl whol canl helpl youl getl yourl ex backl to youl withinl the nextl 24hoursl
You can get in touch with me right now on whatsap to know better +2348157801375
God damn this man is good 👏👏👏👏👏
He only wanted a friendship so I broke up with him and thought if I did the no contact he would want me back but after 60 day no contact I began to realize I don't care about him just this feeling of loss. I am better off without him, time showed me that he was just a nice guy who liked to dance. I miss the dancing part but not him, just loss of companionship that we never had and I thought I wanted.
Hi Coach! Probably one of your best videos & worth listening to a few times.
Long time since our break-up but we were in touch the majority of it up until 38 days ago (RS). Loss is tremendous, true, however I still want her back as ‘together’ we were so good. The external forces (LDR 1/2 of it) and her mother’s neediness (and my mistakes surrounding that!) is what destroyed us. We’re in the same town now as of a year but she thinks the grass is greener & doesn’t trust me. I have seen a lot of ugly behavior from her and Narc traits before that as I have remained kind; it annoys her how kind I have been. RS is all I can do 😌
Sister Ces you have beautiful and kind soul. I was there too. I gave her everything and she gave me nothing but boot. She is playing games but at least it shows that she still cares about you and is thinking about you otherwise she would not bother writing you like most of us are experiencing. do not worry. i do believe that she will be back. have patience and towards yourself. grass is never greener on other side unless you were abusing her. just pull away and focus on you. what is meant to be will be. but please I advice listening to miss: abraham hicks for helping with a calm mindset.
Chris Bryant thank you for your kind words. I haven’t heard from her in 38 days so I don’t believe she cares at all.
She has far too much pride to ever admit she’s made a mistake leaning me & I think she’ll choose to stay alone or with anyone else than ever return to me. I have listened to Abraham Hicks but I’m afraid all that positivity only lasts so long with me. I’m just taking day by day.
its about law of attraction and being whole by yourself sister. yes take it day by day because you never know what is happening. i know a month is long time but give it time
Any updates, what happened?
@@billclay5188 yes, I got her back last year. Let’s just say all her weird behavior is because she has BPD - something I wasn’t aware of or had blinders on. My eyes are wide open now and refuse to put up with her erratic behavior. We’ve been off & on a year (currently off & hope it stays off). Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it and then some.
You are amazing Coach Lee. May God bless you. Thanks for what you are doing for me and all the others.
We just broke up yesterday I found out she got mad at me and got on an dating app just because I didn’t feel like going out drinking Saturday night then last night she came over and got her things then tried to take back the dog that SHE got me lol nope I’m hurt but mostly at the person she showed me these past few days so Idk if even want her back or not
Thanks man you are doing a great thing for people, I don't want the relationship back, just wanna get over it, but I do want her friendship back we never fought and she was an amazing friend
How are you doing now?
After the break up, I went on no contact rule though is very very hard to do. I break it on my first 7days. But I eventually start over it again and it went sweet for. She call me but couldn't reach me out cause offed my sim. On the third week she called my Dad and ask of me.. so on my sim and we talked. She said it seems that am avoiding her and that she doesn't understand me anymore. Dr. What should I do now cause I gave her excuses that am very busy all this while that's the reason we couldn't talk then. She even related to me what happened to her younger brother. So I don't know where to pick it up again because I told her that we talk later. Please 🙏 🙏🙏 help me thanks alot.. your advice has been helpful to my life
@@iyamihajiya575 ok.. who
Dang, you just made me realise something
Wow Coach!
I realized that the old may have died, but it could be a chance to see a different person who will be better than the first!
Like a seed, dieing to self to resurrect New Life.
Dear coach Lee, could you, please, make some videos on when your partner leaves you for another person? You seem to find the words no-one else can
Yesterday i broke no contact and watched my ex story, she was with one of her crushes she had before we were together, i didnt want the story from my personal account, but either way it was a huge mistake, now even more depressed but relized she isnt who i tought she was, she broke up with me 3 weeks ago, i miss her so kuch and miss the amazing moments wee had toghether but its gone and i can move on so i will
You nailed it for me ,this is how I’m feeling after 16 years of marriage ,he cheated on me twice. And then broke up with me. Because he feels he deserves better than me!
My situation is a bit different. What does it mean when my ex ended the relationship & I felt relieved for the first 3 weeks? Then she wanted to exchange our things but didn’t want to do it seeing each other. I felt so insulted first that she couldn’t woman up & dump me face to face. Second couldn’t even exchange our things face to face like mature adults. From that point I really started feeling the loss & missing her deeply. Still really feeling the loss one & a half months in, 3 weeks no contact. I guess it really is true, you really find out what a person is like when you go through a breakup with them.
Literally same
No contact 3 weeks. he text something stupid I responded friendly. He responded to that with " I said we're done"
I'm confused as to why he has to restate something that I'm great with. I've agreed and let him have the break up . 🤔 Not sure about this confusing situation..
I love my ex-significant-other, but at this point, I don’t think I would take him back unless he agreed to go to couple’s therapy. He has told me everything he sees wrong with me, but I need him to see that it takes two to tango and that he is not without fault in this. I think if he could get past whatever block kept him from going to a couple’s counselor with me before, having that third party and neutral space for airing our grievances could go a long way to helping us put the pieces back together.
Update?
Ohevshalornel, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
I don't want my ex back. This is the second time she broke up with me. This time she left me because I was struggling with anxiety and insomnia and she couldn't deal with it so she dumped me to go hook up with guys on dating apps. She lied and said she was working on herself, and said we'd eventually work on things. She kept me on the backburner to sleep around. I found out myself and after months of hoping, im finally moving on from her. i struggled for months missing her, stressing every night, losing sleep. i let the stress destroy me, but at least i got closure and now i can recover. if someone leaves you to be with other people, itll never work. We deserve someone better.
Martin Bogush. I don't blame you for not taking her back. That's very COLD of her not to understand your condition. Coach Lee has Anxiety videos in his library, and they help. I tried them, and it works! Go to Coach Lee videos and you will find it in there. Also, I can recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you immensely.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Good luck to you.
You are sooooo good couch Lee..I really don't whant him to come back because our rationship not going to work anyway..and he has now a rebound.. but I whant him to regret and test his own medicine.. only then I will be free from hom forever..NC for almost 7 months now and I know he noticed that because this is the first time I did that I was always there texting and calling .. thanks a lot
Glad I’m watching this video. I know I’m sad over the loss but with more time maybe I will have clarity. It’s been under two months since he gave me away. I’ve wondered too if I’m confusing loss and love
I got myself into quite the predicament... both married although I'm separated and ready to leave my marriage... was with the guy for a year and a half, long distance for the most part, he can't leave his family and broke it off but he still wants platonic contact....in addition I've been begging and pleading for a good 5 months on and off... what are the odds there🤦♀️....I don't want to love him anymore....I know for a fact that I wouldn't want to have to deal with family drama and hurting kids....yet I still feel so incredibly broken and can't seem to move on...I wonder if it's him I'm in love with or the idea of the perfect relationship and being loved....but how can an idea tear my heart to pieces the way it does
You don’t want to deal with hurting kids and family drama yet you are merried still and you sleeping with merried man. Ok
Your videos are very helpful. I wish you had more on how to get over your ex, though, or I guess on how to get over the sense of loss.
Megan Frisbie, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Truth. Truth. We have to think of these things too. We've got to be sure or be careful what we ask for. We may just get it. All of it. Wise video here🙌🙌
Coach lee u know everything thank u so much for your years of knowledage
This is the most important video you mad thank you
Damn, I still want her back, but a bit less now. I think there is that sense of loss and I also like(d) her a lot, despite all the flaws. And yet, there is a voice in my head that is telling me that she would not be good for me in the long run. I just need some more time to cool off, then I will see things more clear.
Yea his issues was with an ex constantly keeping in contact.....total fecking disrespect for me the both of them......him allowing it....and he wonders why I constantly accused him of cheating on me with her not physically but mentally.....he can have her Im done
I thank you so much for this. Every Word is true
Cause no contact is about me and now im questioning myself
Take your Time to see the BIG PICTURE.
I miss him so much but I don’t want him back to my life. I was the one dumped him. After 3 days he blocked me. I don’t know why he blocked me
@@chinasajohn506 nothing , still the same
Wow!!! I think I have my new answer of resolution! Bless your heart coach Lee fir sharing your wisdom! So helpful$
Hey coach Lee how u doin? You are the best coach that i followed, i watched and followed all your videos after the break up that i had almost 3 months ago. I learned a lot from u, I listened to your videos everyday to give me hope and made me feel better. Would you mind to make a video about reaching out (as dumpee) to an ex based on your client who successfully made it won their ex after certain period of time? In other words, the temporary nc vs permanent nc like one of your video.I'm having second thought reaching out on my ex. It's been almost 3 months since we break up and she's been reaching out once in a while after the break up the longest nc that i had was 27 days, last time she reached out was two 2 weeks ago but never reach out again. Thank u coach Lee more power to you.
Dan Han Park did u respond when they reached out... make a date when they do but dont fall for bullshit u want them to be humble
Dan Han Park DONT CONTACT THEM!!!
Hmm did coach really mention anything about permanent nc? I believe he always says to respond whenever an ex wants to meet up. Now that's different with "testing" you where an ex just asks how you're doing and no direct invitation to meet up. If your ex already expressed and invited you for a meet up, schedule it
Wiz Enz if they reach out hang out have fun and hook up.
WATCH COREY WAYNE. I LOVE COACH LEE BUT COREY WAYNE HAS 1000 VIDEOS
Wiz Enz yes no contact is FOREVER. What if they have a bf u wanna call when they r hooking up...?
U are ABSOLUTELY,right Coach👍
She dump me so I lost interest bcoz they r dating someone... So no turning back.. No turning back
Thank you thank you couch LEE THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
It feels like I’m doing the no contact rule on myself because as time goes on I’m feeling what I initially didn’t. I was so distraught and in loss of motivation when it happened Bc I saw it coming that i DONT even know anymore. But it’s been hurting a lot almost a month after. At first they said they’d never find someone like me, but now I feel they’re thinking differently and it’s eating at me.
Perhaps our future together wouldn’t be ideal, not with how she is now.
Started thinking recently if l’m feeling like this from this person treating me like that now what would it be like in 5 years with this person. No good for me.
I do love my partner & I do want him back
Did you got him back?
Can you talk about the dumper who ‘shelves’ you, toys with you…after they abandoned.
I am confused now that my ex wants me back after two months of no contact.
How'd it go? What did you end up doing?
Need an update
Jelova, what he did was date other people and realized the GRASS IS NOT GREENER. So, now he wants you back? No way! He will do it again. I would NOT take him back.
Mine reached out after nearly a month asking if I was free, I didn’t see the message then she wished me happy birthday for 4 days from now and I genuinely feel ambivalent towards her.. I feel some degree of disgust and sadness and uncertainty :|
I feel the loss but I know i still love and adore the woman. Married 23 years and yes we did have some bad times but we had loads of great times. The last couple of months leading up to the break up were all good times but she ended it anyway. I begged, pleaded and cried. I also lost my 2 youngest thanks to CV. I am hurting, I am in nc but my 2 eldest who don't even live with us are always at the ex to get back together so I dont know if nc will work. I'm lost, don't know how to fix it and that scares me
I still love him! He dumped me. I just wanna move on. I dont want to do anything with him.
Ex is Ex. No men should take woman walked away from marriage back. DON'T DO IT
Great video, makes sense 💯
After reflecting for a month, I don’t think I want her back. It hurt the first month and I’ve wanted her back so bad but, idk it’s probably not worth it
Thank you coach Lee now I've seen my insight about him if I want him back it open my eyes to the reality if I have the future with him coz we tend to focus on LOST! I begin to think I guess I'm better without him when it comes to financial and his health specially getting visa stuff like that
You don't lose her if you stay in her friendzone😊
Thank you coach! I know this breakup was for the best. He wasn't that into me, he wasn't invested and also he was cold and distant. I have to accept that though I'm still sad because they've been only 20 days since he dumped me. I will move on.
thanks Coach lee this video really woke me up and made me think
You telling me the truth
Thank you for your advice you are my hero
why is it that he always text me everyday but still on dating website?