Quiet | Susan Cain | Talks at Google

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  • Опубліковано 7 лют 2012
  • At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh's sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.
    Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie's birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.
    Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."
    This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 270

  • @JordanArseno
    @JordanArseno 10 років тому +89

    close your eyes and her voice is Phoebe from Friends.

    • @anusinov
      @anusinov 4 роки тому +7

      Yes!!

    • @hayleymadison6161
      @hayleymadison6161 4 роки тому +5

      I can't unhear it

    • @julietardos5044
      @julietardos5044 4 роки тому +2

      OMG You're right!

    • @jaynem1067
      @jaynem1067 4 роки тому

      Geez noooo, I can't believe you compared her to an actress whose primary role in Friends was a totally dumb character.

    • @djainagomes1525
      @djainagomes1525 3 роки тому +1

      OMG!! yeah!! I'm surprised

  • @elbeers50
    @elbeers50 10 років тому +45

    She is hero of all introverts

  • @ninjanerdstudent6937
    @ninjanerdstudent6937 10 років тому +137

    Susan Cain is a remarkable woman.

  • @jamesmusante6222
    @jamesmusante6222 7 років тому +69

    you know me so well Susan... I cried a little when I watched this.
    someone understands what is going on. FINALLY!!!

    • @afroman4035
      @afroman4035 3 роки тому +1

      Yeah it’s amazing I had to buy the book because it seems it’s all about me

  • @naturefreak799
    @naturefreak799 11 років тому +85

    Money and fame in our society are becoming synonymous with extroversion. Being introverted, a thinker, or even a private individual is looked down by many. We are now expected in our culture to always be 'on", to be ready and able to be a social butterfly on the drop of a dime.
    This point in my life I would rather be broke living by myself (or a compatable significant other) in a cabin in the woods and being true to me. A life without introspection and private moments is not worth having.

    • @ReaLityBlue
      @ReaLityBlue 6 років тому

      nature freak So true.

    • @ohnree4110
      @ohnree4110 2 роки тому +1

      beautifully said, I see the society I'm heading into (I'm 19) and I don't wanna participate. If you don't want to play, you shouldn't have to play, RIGHT???? No! You gotta jump through these fucking hoops just to be happy! Fuck that. Happiness is my foundation. I'd rather create alone than consume together.

  • @conniechristenson7905
    @conniechristenson7905 8 років тому +75

    The stimulaton goes further than noise. For myself clutter is too stimulating also. So glad for this revolution.

    • @freeman8759
      @freeman8759 7 років тому +6

      So true, that explains alot.

    • @MsVie2012
      @MsVie2012 4 роки тому +1

      i'd also add temperature and smell. all the senses. I'm beginning to equate being an introvert wurh being HSP (highly sensitive person)

    • @lifegrip6477
      @lifegrip6477 2 роки тому

      I'm the same with clutter. Interesting, as just tidying up, making more space, feels better.

  • @rhapsodyinbleu
    @rhapsodyinbleu 11 років тому +48

    I totally understand what she means about an introverts idea of happiness when she says it's something quieter. I think for a lot of us, it's learning & educating ourselves. I love discovering a new interest on my own, whether it's a new hobby, an author, or genre of music, etc rather than going out dancing or partying like an extroverts idea of fun or happiness. It's the little things we keep to ourselves that make us happy.

  • @zarlabancat
    @zarlabancat 7 років тому +42

    what an amazing woman. i'm watching this video for a class and i really relate to what she's saying. i don't feel so alone anymore.

  • @MasterChief0093
    @MasterChief0093 7 років тому +73

    This is fantastic info. I'm having relationship problems because I'm an extrovert and she's an introvert. I didn't understand introverts until a recent conflict. It was almost as if we were speaking two different languages... and even with that, she'd avoid talking in person like the plague. It was on a vacation where we were constantly doing things and she needed to recharge. I didn't truly understand it at the time even though i told her i did.
    I really did take the silence as a betrayal or possibly felt like she had given up on us. Or that she was not interested. But if that never happened I would never have looked into personalities.
    My new knowledge has helped me notice my friends who are introverts that get dragged along to everything and talk with them better. It's changing so much for me. I wish more people knew this info.

    • @bookfan1239
      @bookfan1239 7 років тому +3

      MasterChief0093 The more you know. 😄 -cue the rainbows-

  • @terelmj
    @terelmj 12 років тому +32

    I am loving this. In my everyday life I keep getting the message that I have to be more talkative, that I have to interact more, "have fun" (in the way an extrovert would define it) ... it is refreshing to hear somebody so succesful who did not have to change who she is in her core

  • @lukasdi3623
    @lukasdi3623 3 роки тому +4

    22:10 "we need to stop treating them (introverts) like something is wrong with them“ maybe exactly this is one part of the reason why they become great writers & thinkers ....

  • @TheAngelofvengance
    @TheAngelofvengance 11 років тому +24

    wow i got chills when she said to get into groups i would be horrified

  • @winterpoetry
    @winterpoetry 12 років тому +9

    I found this immensely helpful! I'm an ambivert ENFP. I find my extroversion a hindrance and an embarrassment...to rely on a stimulant outside of myself feels disempowering. Looking to the outer world for validation can become an illness. Introverts don't need other people to have fun...they create whole worlds all in their minds. Introverts take very little from the world, but what they add speaks volumes.

  • @karinasouza3792
    @karinasouza3792 5 років тому +5

    Listening to her is like listening to Phoebe from Friends!!! Lol... The same voice... How cool is that? :)

  • @GrahamHillis
    @GrahamHillis 11 років тому +13

    Great talk, many won't get the crux of the message. If I could have been there, i would have offered Susan a wide window and a nice silent coffee over the best view that was possible on the day. Introverts like us are so under-rated.

  • @drfresh2000
    @drfresh2000 12 років тому +6

    Exactly, Seclusion gives you piece of mind.

  • @nesha50421
    @nesha50421 10 років тому +9

    Susan's voice is sooo soothing!!!!!! And I'm a proud Introvert woman!! ;))

    • @zendavis3501
      @zendavis3501 6 років тому

      nesha50421 I would make love to you.

  • @lotedo1633
    @lotedo1633 7 років тому +61

    Introverts shouldn't be undervalued anymore in this society!

    • @foxiefair123
      @foxiefair123 2 роки тому

      Lol, I almost don’t care if they value me or not if they would just be quiet and leave me alone.😂

  • @Jarrodmontelius
    @Jarrodmontelius 11 років тому +3

    We all want to be happy. That can be very different from success. Often success means endless work...

  • @kuebrastic1219
    @kuebrastic1219 4 роки тому +3

    I WISHED SHE HAD A UA-cam CHANNEL :(

  • @kockgunner
    @kockgunner 4 роки тому +11

    Even I got a feeling of dread when she said to split up into groups of 6

  • @martyvero1
    @martyvero1 10 років тому +18

    Isaac Newton: Truth is the offspring of silence and unbroken meditation

  • @jkjkjkish
    @jkjkjkish 11 років тому +5

    wow she's beautiful! thanks for speaking up for us introverts susan! :)

  • @naturefreak799
    @naturefreak799 11 років тому +2

    For many, success is not about happiness. Success is for making ones parents happy, for being a "good American", for attracting high status mates, and many other reasons. Being succesful for ones own inner happiness and well being is far to uncommon.

  • @MylesAlfama
    @MylesAlfama 3 роки тому +3

    I listened to this while i am in college right now and I love the amazing words she uses and shes an amazing lady I've never met her or heard of her! :)

  • @denisesumtercommunity
    @denisesumtercommunity 10 років тому +5

    Wow, what an eye-opener.

  • @MommytardRocks1
    @MommytardRocks1 10 років тому +2

    her voice is so musically soothing.

  • @ShunyamNiketana
    @ShunyamNiketana 6 років тому +9

    I always enjoy and appreciate Susan. I loved the book. But I have some trouble with the notion that introverts use their alone time to "think" while extroverts use their social interacting to feel stimulated. Time spent in the cave is not necessarily "thinking" time. It may be creative; it may be spent learning (not cogitating); and it may be full of focus on something meaningful--but again, not to mull over things or solve a problem. I'm not saying that Susan describes introverts as primarily thinkers, but it does seem to be a tag assigned to them by others in the field.

  • @howardkoor2796
    @howardkoor2796 9 років тому +4

    Susan is a wonderful speaker. Love her ideas.

  • @cameliamelillo1930
    @cameliamelillo1930 7 років тому +4

    She is so amazing! I love what she said at the end about ephemeral beauty!

  • @rickeshpatel4025
    @rickeshpatel4025 6 років тому +2

    I'm so glad to hear this. I'm also mixed dominance and most of my life in the US they tried to make me do everything differently down to how I think and even trying to make me become right handed. I am more of a ambivert leaning towards introvert. I've spent the last few years truly figuring myself out and looking back I realize how stifled I was growing up, especially being from a typical Indian household where there was a very strict structure.

  • @lotedo1633
    @lotedo1633 7 років тому +4

    Amazing speech! Got to know more interesting information about introverts and extroverts likewise.

  • @soccermadness23
    @soccermadness23 10 років тому +12

    I find this woman very attractive!

  • @TheNaturalistaFiles
    @TheNaturalistaFiles 10 років тому +4

    This was simply brilliant! Makes sense for me.

  • @akaboo69
    @akaboo69 5 років тому +5

    I'm ISFP and I'm told I'm creative. But yeah I'm very Fi and Se. I love music and being in a band.

  • @premkumarpmourya8823
    @premkumarpmourya8823 2 роки тому

    very good speech by Susan Cain. great talk.

  • @blutsx
    @blutsx 10 років тому +6

    great speaker

  • @beldonhuang
    @beldonhuang 2 місяці тому

    What an incredible and interesting talk this is! It's always amazing to listen to talks that talk about your personality that is otherwise not really discussed widely by other speakers. Her TED Talk is quite good as well~

  • @rhapsodyinbleu
    @rhapsodyinbleu 11 років тому

    Our idea of happiness also comes from within, like engaging in our interests in our choice of environments. I know I'm happiest painting or taking photographs and I can do this without any company and it's just great. Anything artistic & expressive makes us happy and we do it for ourselves, not really to show off to anyone.

  • @Paseosinperro
    @Paseosinperro 11 років тому +1

    OMG, You are describing my mind perfectly.

  • @heartofplaydoh7647
    @heartofplaydoh7647 2 роки тому +1

    I am not in the room and My heart started beating real fast when she told the room they needed to share. As an introvert we don’t like these sort of surprises, hehe.

  • @MrPedrojose1967
    @MrPedrojose1967 5 років тому

    I am 52 y/o and this is the first time in my life I am thinking about introvert and extrovert. I was shy and insecure all my life except my 20's after the acomplish of my succeed military carear. Now, I am back to my coccon waiting for my second change of happiness. Thanks.

  • @blaq7427
    @blaq7427 11 років тому +6

    Actually one on one convo would be something an introvert would be better at . An extrovert would be better in a group setting.

  • @Optimus6128
    @Optimus6128 11 років тому +1

    I never thought about this till you mentioned it. I could say that Phoebe the character in Friends (I don't know about the real Lisa Kudrow) is quite similar in terms that she seems to be an INFP personality type and that's what I could guess about Susan too. But anyway, I love what this woman is doing and yes she could be the real Phoebe in action (my favorite character in Friends btw). I am really happy about these talks and her book and the understanding that hopefully it will spark.

  • @shawnleesg
    @shawnleesg 10 років тому +2

    You should read her book. It's really good!

  • @s70rk
    @s70rk 12 років тому +1

    Thanks for posting this! :)

  • @Hym138
    @Hym138 10 років тому +4

    I love how I got an introvert and non-introvert dog.

  • @gobindatandi83
    @gobindatandi83 8 років тому

    Thank you very much to have kind of which inspired very much.................

  • @hqu00
    @hqu00 5 років тому +7

    wow, "introversion and extroversion are...as core to our identities as our gender. therefore it's v important to understand where we truly fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum.'

  • @albertnewton8608
    @albertnewton8608 10 років тому +3

    Thank you for saving my life ^_^

  • @allenculbertson8170
    @allenculbertson8170 Рік тому

    God bless U and thank you Susan 😇

  • @sleepingwizard09
    @sleepingwizard09 11 років тому

    I love this woman.

  • @dangreen6775
    @dangreen6775 11 років тому

    Great talk and questions. Regarding the last question about how an introverted leader might understandably feel that 'interruption is breaking a sacred trust' (@42:45), I would suggest looking into establishing a team culture that embraces and understands Dialogue Mapping. It may help?

  • @alexandravanderbeek3765
    @alexandravanderbeek3765 6 років тому

    I've have seen many talks... didnt find yet, one that really celebrates each kind of personality, always seems (sometimes very subtle) that is about "which one is better" than the other one. And i can understand talking about people like jobs, spielberg, etc to show the power of introverts, but they were all extreme intelligent, if you are extreme intelligent, extreme creative, have natural talents for well, there is a more chances to succeed even when you are introvert, but what about people who are just average.

  • @kdlyla
    @kdlyla 11 років тому +1

    When I was a child people used to mark on their calenders when I would speak. My parents had a hard time assigning me to a punishment because I always found something to do as I was most happy being alone. I never enjoyed playing follow the leader and I hate trends. I prefer self study as opposed to college rule, however, when I'm finished preparing, I have the power to blow a class away as demonstrated to me in a speech 101 class while verbally composing a speech on bats.

  • @Jarrodmontelius
    @Jarrodmontelius 11 років тому

    As they say; you took the words from my mouth.

  • @keenday2382
    @keenday2382 Рік тому

    That's why i Love children they are so pure they don't see flaws everything looks beautiful in their eyes.. I met a 5 year old today that was 20 everytime I meet her I'm amazed at how smart she is.. each child I talk too I see their brilliance... I feel so grateful they feel comfortable around me catching them today funky dancing in front of me for me to catch them and just Crack a smile at their joy. I am a true Introvert i need quiet contiplation.. I can also be an extrovert.. I am a joyful bubbly and let's live it.. I don't see the warning.. lol 😆 🤣 lol 😂 then I crash.. lol boom right into it. That's me I'm both.. it's necessary to me both sides. Susan i love the way you think your very smart and I like when someone can bring me to deep thinking and different things to think about.. never thought about what the key is to my power? Secret garden to inner riches! Brilliant... mine is ideas 💡 🙂 😌 😐 integrity honesty being real.. i do know this.. I have a lot of different skills I'm not always using. Lovely talk thank you.. 😊

  • @Jemsters1
    @Jemsters1 11 років тому

    At least you've discovered this so early (and yes, I say early) - I'm an introvert in my early 40s!

  • @jkes88
    @jkes88 12 років тому

    interesting point of view

  • @md2v4
    @md2v4 10 років тому +2

    I think these states of being are not consistent or static for the rest of our lives, we change and adapt as we grow, as a kid i was an extravert but as a youth now am more of an introvert. Circumstances in life courses us to change our nature. And yes she is very attractive.

  • @sleepingwizard09
    @sleepingwizard09 11 років тому +3

    I'm an introvert and my grades are low because I don't participate in class discussions. :(

  • @chrisw7470
    @chrisw7470 Рік тому

    I just ran across this author/speaker, and as an introvert her material makes alot of sense to me. One question fellow introverts, listening to her voice were you thinking who does she sound like, and even look like the brunette version of? Lisa Kudrow? lol. I mean, her voice inflection, mannerisms etc, to me, seem very much like Lisa's.

  • @Victor-it6bv
    @Victor-it6bv 2 роки тому +1

    Introverts know more about why extrovert act like extrovert then extroverts do.

  • @ekimonid
    @ekimonid 12 років тому

    that was awesome

  • @briansmitj2080
    @briansmitj2080 6 років тому +1

    I always thought I was shy but know I know I am an introvert and I realize all this time I am an introvert I thought I was different from everyone else but I love being alone it helps me to think.

    • @briansmitj2080
      @briansmitj2080 6 років тому

      I'm not afraid to be alone. I just like to know what's going on around me

    • @briansmitj2080
      @briansmitj2080 6 років тому

      I also love my close friends. I keep a close amount of friends in my circle

    • @briansmitj2080
      @briansmitj2080 6 років тому

      But I think I am also an introvert in some way.

  • @MrTookieMonster
    @MrTookieMonster 12 років тому

    I love you, Susan Cain.

  • @LouielamsonTranNguyen
    @LouielamsonTranNguyen 10 років тому

    Introverts - Extrovert! I had difficult to understand, which one I am belonging? I am enjoyed great an lectures...
    Thanks for sharing video.

  • @IIArchonII
    @IIArchonII 12 років тому +1

    This was an amazing and insightful talk. I hate to point this out because it seems shallow... But she makes a smacking sound between some sentences.

  • @lewisbonnell2509
    @lewisbonnell2509 11 років тому +1

    I am an introvert and looking to get Susan's book to learn more about this trait

  • @berbudy
    @berbudy 11 років тому

    Susan Cain is my personal Hero

  • @elisepentz1063
    @elisepentz1063 Рік тому

    These comments will need to be read later because I'll miss the whole talk because I'm interested in them

  • @danumodjo
    @danumodjo 11 років тому +26

    I'm a introvert. and it's hard

  • @UndisclosedID655
    @UndisclosedID655 11 років тому +1

    I'd say this applies only to rural areas in Finland.

  • @kishorekumar-eo4hf
    @kishorekumar-eo4hf 6 років тому

    Hi it was a nice lecture which has opened my mind because I am like sort of introvert person I really phasing lots of difficulties I couldn’t push myself so fast to solve my problems because I’ve been born and raised in a village where I had very less chance to showcase my ideas. And something inhibiting me to go and mingle with the strangers please give me an idea or just me if possible to bring out my power and my thoughts thank you 🙏 I am from india

  • @tinthamster
    @tinthamster 10 років тому

    I'm in love with Susan Cain 3

  • @simpbeforeusleep
    @simpbeforeusleep 10 років тому

    I changed my mind, I jumped to an extroverted conclusion to early :P

  • @cryptoguy4589
    @cryptoguy4589 3 роки тому

    25.20 I have that head shaking when I'm thinking of 100 things and conversing on a subject.

  • @vademarofxeroes8416
    @vademarofxeroes8416 7 років тому

    Wished I have a friend at highschool like her.

  • @greenmanhulk
    @greenmanhulk 2 роки тому +1

    All the introverts of the world like her.

  • @akaboo69
    @akaboo69 5 років тому +3

    I was super silent in school

  • @SnapcrackerzTeam
    @SnapcrackerzTeam 12 років тому

    she rocks

  • @jeffrly1
    @jeffrly1 11 років тому +1

    Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay - Friends

  • @SudipKrMaiti_IITGuwahati
    @SudipKrMaiti_IITGuwahati 3 роки тому

    Introverts r so attractive!
    Just look at Susan Cain;♥️

  • @pretto417
    @pretto417 11 років тому

    What do you call someone who loves both stimulation and being alone, like myself. I absolutely love to socialize and party but I also love to read and spend most of my day thinking...

  • @BRM101
    @BRM101 4 роки тому +4

    The world would be a much better place if it was more introverted instead of the extroverted mess we have now

  • @MexicanThreads
    @MexicanThreads 8 років тому +33

    Who else wants to erase that red mark on the screen behind her?

    • @akuajwad
      @akuajwad 7 років тому +3

      perfectionist would love to

    • @NaaaaProductions
      @NaaaaProductions 7 років тому +1

      LOL, too much stimulation when trying to listen. hehe

  • @peterlux4317
    @peterlux4317 6 років тому +1

    A list of the studies that she refers to would be useful

  • @rdelrosso2001
    @rdelrosso2001 10 років тому

    Johnny Carson was famous for having a TV show that reached millions of people, but in front of a few people, he was very shy and introverted.

  • @sohamdixit_
    @sohamdixit_ 11 років тому +1

    I'm an Introvert and oddly enough, my dream is to work at The Googleplex!

  • @chococandy8009
    @chococandy8009 4 роки тому

    Yes Susan ma'am is right that we should accept our powers but on the other side we also know that change is important for our life. So what if we apply this change concept here in introvertness and extrovertness. Feel free to give your reviews :)

  • @nrrork
    @nrrork 10 років тому

    14:12 There was one I couldn't spot right away, so I crossed my eyes to make the images overlap as though I were looking at a magic eye picture, and the spots where there was a difference appeared to flicker.
    Let's see an extrovert think to do THAT!

  • @jaientenduunevoix726
    @jaientenduunevoix726 8 років тому

    21:40 preach!

  • @BelgianGurista
    @BelgianGurista 10 років тому

    Another example of leadership by introverts is Herman Van Rompuy - who?! The European President at this time. He words it as: "Everyone has different facettes of personality. I don't know if I know myself completely. The I remains the biggest mystery. We look at ourselves as it's a stranger (Q Rimbaud & Nietzsche)"

  • @liyana2810
    @liyana2810 5 місяців тому

    There must be many different level/spectrum of introversion too. That's why some introverts are shy, some are not. Oh, temperament and MBTI.

  • @dddave999
    @dddave999 10 років тому +4

    Interesting talk from an attractive lady.
    If I close my eyes I could be listening to Lisa Kudrow (blond one from friends). I am waiting for a verse of ‘Smelly Cat’

  • @DrequimaX
    @DrequimaX 7 років тому +7

    I am depelted..... I need to go home.

  • @WhirledPublishing
    @WhirledPublishing 2 роки тому

    @3 minutes: I felt so excited about my private, personal and profound experience from childhood that illustrates who I really am that I was going to post it here - but since it's not really what this is about, I'll withhold that.

  • @user-uk5jw7oy2g
    @user-uk5jw7oy2g 12 років тому +1

    Her voice, gestures, and movements are like Lisa Kudrow.

  • @sohamdixit_
    @sohamdixit_ 11 років тому +1

    I'm an Introvert!

  • @micjakes1
    @micjakes1 5 років тому +2

    Oh I fucking hate breaking up into groups.