My heart hurts for you, and for so many others like yourself. But my heart sings, too, in witnessing your valor and tenacity; to take something so despicable, which you had no control over, and actually rise up as you have - you are beyond inspiring- such a bright light for other’s to find comfort and solace in! I’m glad you found and turned to Jesus- he is the only salvation against this evilness and sickness that is so prevalent in our world today- and that you were unfortunately surrounded by. It’s hard to get your head around-- that there are those we call ‘family’, or our closest ‘friends’, who are actually filled with such darkness, and are so terribly lost. Sadly, they often prey on those not unlike yourself, who carry the brightest of light imaginable. May you NEVER doubt yourself, nor the beauty and healing gift that you have and are able to offer to the world. And please, never ever dim that beautiful light of your’s again.
You told my story. I'm 70 now and want you to know that Im thriving now, but it is part of me. You are so far ahead of me when I was your age so you are gonna eventually soar with the bones of steel you developed to survive. Dont give up. It gets better and better and better but takes work. P.S. you're a brave beautiful young lady. Keep sticking up for yourself when need be so bad people wont mess with you and let good people near you.
This brings me such happiness. I never met someone who went through exactly what I did- so to know you made it.. and for you to say I’m on the right path is just so heart warming. Thank you. I’m glad you’re here today to say hey we’ll be okay. ❤️
My oldest sister abused me too and no one believed me for years until she was sent to jail. My family owe me a lot of apology for not believing me. The things she did to me or forced me to do are unimaginable, just plain incest , something only a psychopath would do. I've bled out and got my face smashed in twice etc... life was so tough with her around and I'm so glad she's in a psych ward now.
I’m glad your sister got what she deserved too. It’s just weird how you never seem to hear about a whole family standing by someone who outs an abuser. There’s always a divide or nobody believes them. I wanna know who lies about a loved one touching them cause it’s got to be beyond rare 😅 could you imagine? Oh I don’t really have a problem with you but I’m ganna say you touched me. The fuuuck? Come on now people
@@LexMindsetright. She's mental and I'm also glad she got some help with that. Even though I'll never fully recover from the things she's done I'm still happy she's getting some help.
I was also sexually abused by my sister. My is 8 years older than me. I have never met anyone else who survived abuse by their sister either. I’m 42 years old and whenever I tell someone about my past, they accept that my father sexually abused me. But when I talk about my sister, it’s always the same reaction from people. Disbelief and shock. Like it’s just so far fetched that a sister could be the monster. My sister has had no consequences for what she has done. She’s married has 3 kids and a grandkid. She destroyed my life. She was also abused by my father. My brother was abused by my father too, but my older brother always tried to protect me. My sister tortured me my whole life. She’s incredibly mean and evil to me to this day. She lives in Tennessee and goes on vacations and it’s not fair. She’s a monster and should be in prison. I can relate with you on this so much 💔😭 I kept my sisters secrets until I was in my 20’s when my father passed and she stole my inheritance. I don’t understand why this life has been given to us…. But I know that we are the ones who can help bring awareness to make this stop. All my love and light to you….
I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s so difficult too because as much as you WANT to feel indifferent- that’s not how it goes. They move on with their life and have a happy one at that.. then you’re just there still thinking about what they did, how they still treat you now, and if they ever think about it. The only thing that’s ever made it better for me was knowing I could help others going through the same thing. It started with just my friends and it turned into a career motivation. It gave me hope that my life doesn’t have to just be a dumpster fire- my experiences can HELP with my career to be a speaker! I can point at that dumpster fire in front of the world and go “I’m using what happened to me as material! I turned my trauma into a fucking career that I’m PAID for” 🤣🤣🤣 talk about turning the tables man. I hope you continue sharing your story as well and wear your scars like battle armor ❤️ P.S: I’m glad you decided to out her after how she treated you over the inheritance. They never deserved our silence.
Mine too but she did it for her brother who abused us too you don't know if it was because of the young age or the fact that I feel hers wasn't as invasive it was a very young age with my sister it wasn't until we were way older that I realized the extent of what she was doing but because It had stopped already I wasn't Leary enough and wise enough to not see it coming with my brother who acts 14 at the time but I vowed never to let that happen to me again I moved out of my house at a very young age I essentially always took care of myself my parents passed away and now my sister has to unexpectedly way too soon I don't know what's going on with all of my information on the Internet is changing I'm so hurt and angry at the same time. The only family I have left is 2 brothers both home refused to speak to me or give me an explanation both who have worked so hard together to screw me but why? I was the youngest for 10 years until my parents had their 5th child when I was 10. He unfortunately was diagnosed with cancer at 2 but for five straight years he fought hard always told us he be cancer-free when he was 8 he died six days before his 8th birthday. My brothers had the nerve to tell me I wasn't even there when he died like they just resort just saying that I'm crazy and it's worked for the most part for them, even my father went as far as saying that I didn't remember things as they happened, the saddest part is is he was the one that was wrong the only people that I have to confirm everything all the lies about me are dead. I have such a big problem with trust now and to be honest with you, I'm in fear that the only reason why my family hates me is because the family that I've been a part of since 14 has told my secret it's the only thing that makes sense.
@@laurazessi1852 sometimes the family we choose is better then the family we got. Friends etc. You’re absolutely right to suspect that the reason you’re being treated a certain way is related to you speaking out. I know that feeling. The always wondering what you did wrong. The answer is simple: you didn’t do a damn thing except expose things they wanted to be kept quiet. When abuse happens in a family- the family divides and takes sides without you even intending for it to happen. They decide if they believe you or not and it seems like your family members have decided to label you as confused. It’s okay in the end though because you don’t want those types of people in your life anyways.. even if they’re family. Stay strong and find your chosen family to replace the support system your given family were SUPPOSED to be. ❤️
This life is a gift 🎁 from God even though trials on earth 🌎 can seem cruel and painful! God has given us our free agency to choose between ✨️Good✨️ or Evil! We had to come to 🌎 Earth to receive 🙏🏻 a body to house our spirit, for resurrection! When Jesus Christ died on the ✝️ cross he was mighty and strong and he could defend himself. But he allowed evil 😈 men to torture him on our behalf! That we could be forgiven for our sins! We don't know how everything works, we don't know why we are given to families that are less than ideal! But I know that you're Heavenly Father love's you with all his heart ❤️ 💙 💜 and when Jesus Christ returns you will be made whole, and all will be right! You can be married and have a family of your own then, if you don't have what you want now! Look at what this experience has done, you are stronger 💪 than your sister, kinder than she is! Sometimes adversities make us who God needs 🙏🏻 us to be! You are loved by God, never forget that!
God bless you sweet girl. And thank you for speaking up. You have inspired me to get tested for my symptoms. I never thought the abuse that my family endured at the hands of our monster might have affected me up to now. You are a very brave and kindhearted woman. You deserve all good things and wonderful people in your life. We all do. I wish I could give you a hug. You are loved
Anddd I think I love this comment the most 🥺 I’m so happy you were given the courage to seek help figuring out what’s going on. if you haven’t told anyone every detail you do remember I suggest seeing a therapist at least once to tell someone. Due to PTSD being untreatable via medication the main focus is on therapy. But, you do what’s best for you! It’s not a one size fits all. Good luck and thank you for your support 😭❤️
I have a similar story of abuse from a sister 3 years older from the time I was about 4 (?) to about 9-10. Again, similarly, I got this weird out-of-context apology, a random phone call when I was 18 saying I don’t know if you remember that “we used to play some inappropriate childish games” [gross understatement] and stating that her therapist said she should “take responsibility” and apologize. Although I fully remembered everything, like you, I didn’t really comprehend what I was doing when I quickly and easily brushed it off offering unequivocal forgiveness. It wasn’t until later that I began to understand the scope and impact of what had happened to me. Like you said, I much later began to understand the secondary aspects of the abuse, which may be even more hideous than the primary abuse. These things for me included: 1) established family myth/commonly accepted understanding of myself as an unreliable narrator-it was accepted “fact” in our family that any question of any event in our family history, no matter how trivial, would be misremembered or remembered wrongly by myself, and that my recollection of any family history of any nature would not be reliable-this was a carefully constructed, crafted, and curated myth perpetrated by my sister so that I would never feel I would be believed and, in fact, I would never be believed. 2) perpetrated myth of myself as a devious little golden girl who may have the parents snowed as to her perfect behavior but is really constantly sneaking around looking for ways to set the sister up to be framed for misdeeds (for which I was “really” at fault and my sister was the “victim” of such persecution). This taught me that I was the one responsible for my sister’s wrong behavior. I endured rehearsal after rehearsal of incident after incident explaining why I was at fault for her misbehavior. 3) commonly accepted family lore undermining my strengths or gifts. We’ll-accepted and commonly repeated phrases like: she doesn’t get straight As because she’s smart, she’s really no more intelligent than average or less. She just gets straight As because she’s a people pleaser and is unhealthily under compulsion to please her teachers (and bonus she has fooled her teachers into believing her golden girl act) . . . and she may seem smart but she’s really not-she’s only book smart, not street smart, not actually intelligent . . . and on and on. Obviously this secondary abuse has had much more far-reaching impacts than even the primary (direct/sexual) abuse. The mental and emotional manipulation and gaslighting and carefully crafted family myths so that I had no point of reference that didn’t also buy this narrative has had significant impacts that I am still unraveling today at age 49. After that “apology” when I was 18, I was oblivious to the scope and impact of both abuses-I just thought I could let it go or ignore it and move on. My first clue that there was something deeper, darker, and farther reaching in place was years later when my young niece (like 4) asked me for a story of when I was growing up with her mama. I carefully thought out a sweet humorous story that portrayed her mother in a positive light. After the story, my niece gave me a very puzzled look and said, no no no that’s not right, I wanted to hear the story of when YOOUUUU [insert reference to story of bad-me/victim my sister] . . . and when YOOUUU [insert another story of bad me] . . . and on and on. I was shocked that my 4 year old niece had a well-rehearsed library of stories about bad-me and how I supposedly victimized my sister by faking being the golden girl and setting my sister up and framing her to get in trouble. That was the first chip in the veneer-that stuck with me for years more before I began to recognize and address the issues. Meanwhile my sister has been protected for decades-I have never told what she did to anyone except my spouse and my therapist.
Everything about this comment speaks to me. Before we even recognized what was ACTUALLY going on between our abuser and family- everything was set in stone. I think the reason for this is because our abusers might have not lost their memories so they always knew they had something they needed to keep quiet. With us we had bits a pieces and had to come to terms with accepting the bits and pieces as reality. It was always real to them so they had time to make things shift their way. By the time our head comes above water we’re looking at everything going, “you’re an absolute evil mastermind” even exposing them falls perfectly in line with their role they’ve set for you. I’m sorry you had to experience our story. It’s one of the hardest paths in life but I’m glad you’re still here despite them all.
@@LexMindset thank you. I should clarify that I never did forget or have repressed memories, but it did take me a long time to realize the significance of what happened or even to have a name to put to the secondary stuff, and also in what ways those things impacted me.
Just because you forgave her for the abuse, it doesn't mean you forgave her for creating these stories about you and feeding them to your family and her children. She should be held accountable for those things and you have a right to do so!
God bless you. As someone who was also abused for a couple of years early in life I know how hard it is, also how we blank out memories only for them to surface up later on in life. You are so sweet and strong and deserve the world.
Bless u girl - my sister also abused Me and I asked her last year if she remembered and why she did it , hoping for an apology and acknowledge ment and guess what.....she told Me no sorry. I don't really remember yesterday, I have 2 kids bla bla bla 😮 busy life !! I told the family as she's very much seen as the golden child , as she is a good conformer ....no one supported me. Not 1 of them and there's 5 of them These ppl ain't my family. 💯
Yeah nooo.. she lied cause wouldn’t the reaction if you truly didn’t do it/didn’t remember wouldn’t you say “why would you think that?!” Her commenting on not being able to remember is a key giveaway that she does know what you’re talking about but is claiming not to recall: aka not take responsibility. I’m sorry you didn’t get the validation and support you needed. I was lucky to have my brother stand by me but even that felt so lonely. You’re strong to still be here today. I’m glad you told everyone even if they didn’t believe you because at the end of the day it showed you who’s worth having in your life 😤
Thank you so much for allowing us to hear your story. I hope to one day speak about my own struggles and the sexual abuse I faced as a child ages 5-12. There is a darkness in life that only we can know, but you are strong and I'm happy to hear that you have found empowerment through this journey.
Siblings can be so evil. Living under the same roof is torture. God bless. Time is a good healer. I can relate to several aspects of your story. Let out the pain/cry whenever you can; it's a good thing.
i'm dealing with abuse from a family member and this is really helpful. I also spent so much time chasing the person around and wanting their love and approval while they just pushed me away. I have never heard anyone share that experience. i feel less alone. thank you
Just want to say. You're awesome. This was so pure and human. I know it took a lot of strength to make this video and become the person who could make this video. My heart broke a hundred times hearing your story, but I am left with so much hope. You are so strong...and just...awesome. Keep fighting the good fight.
Thank you.. Words cannot express how happy I am that I accomplished my goal with this video- to give hope. I appreciate your support and I’ll hold on to your words. It’s your story… How you paint it is your choice 🎨🌌
You sweet girl, you are so brave to share this. You don't deserve what has been done to you. They are messed up people. It's so heartbreaking to hear your story. I am so sorry you had to go through that. This world can be so unfair.
My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain, I too experienced this with a parent and recently remembered. You are a genuine soul, who is spreading awareness that is so desperately needed. Hang in there, it gets better. Sending hugs💛
Man I remember how confused I felt when the memories started to click.. Take it one step at a time. Allow all the feelings and give yourself grace. You’re worthy of respect and love. Good luck to you, Survivor.
I was so very moved by your bravery in sharing your experience and bringing awareness on this matter. The pervious author couldn’t said it better , My heart hurt for you, as your story unfolded, I cried with you ……….... you are So amazing..
I have lots of similar trauma in my family. Something to consider may be that your father and sister likely have also had similar trauma. Your sister had to have learned that from someone else. It’s almost guaranteed that your sister endured something very similar from someone older then her. Not saying this is ok by any means but Perhaps you can find a shred of peace from knowing this. This is extremely common, you’re not alone. I applaud you for sharing this openly! Very brave! ❤ your past does not define you, you’re not that person anymore. 💪
I can’t share my sisters story but I can tell you yes you’re right it was a learned behavior after an incident with older children. It does give me peace knowing there’s a reason for what happened to me. Thank you for your support and I’m sorry your family is going through the same thing. I wish we didn’t have to experience this but I’m glad we’re here for each other too. It’s bittersweet for sure ❤️
@UnclePutin I agree with all that you said. You hit it right on the mark. By the way try searching on UA-cam “Adult Sleep Stories” since you mentioned calming voices. My favorite is the Harry Potter 5 hour adult sleep story
This was heartbreaking. Know that you are an amazing young Lady with great beauty. Be strong and please keep close to Faith. Never blame yourself and treat yourself with kindness and love.
Oh Sweetheart!!!❤ THANK YOU for sharing your story!! I felt so much empathy for you…Believe it or not, there were SO MANY Parts that I related to EXACTLY! You have a pure, sweet heart, and I am so sorry it was trampled upon so horribly by those who were supposed to Love and Protect you.❤
Thank you for your support and checking out the rest of my videos!!! You are noticed and appreciated 😩 I’m sorry life wasn’t kind to you either. We will find a way to be okay one way or another ❤️
Sweet LexMindset, you will never loose the memories, but it will become easyer when you get older. I have C-PTSS, so i now how it works. Keep fighting. You are so worth to live. Find yourself in yourself and forgive. Thanks for reading my message.
You are not alone….I feel your pain & thank you for your courage & inspiration. Continue to share your story I pray that you can heal in the process & overcome your addiction. We all deserve happiness & peace….& more
Just wow. You are strong and amazing. This did not look easy to film. Thank you for sharing. Keep doing what you’re doing, it will make the difference for many 🙏🏼
I can identify with the pain of abuse. Not at the hands of my sister but with 3 family members and my ex-husband. You are strong and so very brave. I love your messagr that you are putting out there for the world. Definitely not easy to do!
Thank you for your support. Every single day you all bring smiles to my face. She does have a family of her own but I hope that it was a isolated incident of just anti me and that she has a peaceful happy life.
You are so real, and open. I admire you deeply for telling your story. The life lessons that were etched into your soul, brought forth your core values. You are beautiful, and genuine! The ones of us that have also been abused and confused, we find strength from your words. You are so brave and I thank you. I will be watching for your newest content. You have a most peaceful day today! 🫂💗
So sorry you had to go through this without any support. The child in you will heal. There is nothing wrong with you , you could not help what happened to you as you had no control as a child and did not understand. I pray that you will have the strength to forgive your sister also your father for his indifference. Wishing you every blessing for the future.
Almost five years ago, I was also sexually abused by one of my childhood 'best friends' and it absolutely tore me to shreds and still does, because not only was this person my 'best friend', they are also related to me very closely by blood, so I can never truly escape them. This person is less than a year older than me, we were so so close, until they started the abuse. It hurts so much still.
It’s so difficult to wrap your head around why someone would hurt someone that they “care” about. It makes it so much more complicated because it just doesn’t make sense to us. Then the continued contact after the abuse is another terrible aspect. I think that’s why people claim to have better chances at healing when they go no contact because you’re not constantly reopening the wound. How can our brain heal or recognize it’s not in danger if we still see the person who put us in danger? Regardless of it stopping that’s the reality of it ❤️
May your story be spread to all in hopes that child victims know they are not alone and parents learn the importance of protecting all children. I share in your pain and hope that one day the ill effects of your childhood are put to rest.
Dear you are one of the bravest people that has walked the face of this earth, My prayers are dedicated to you for your fullest recovery (if that is even possible) I send love, human, caring love.
Talk about brave. I really hope you find piece and can enjoy your life. Youre a very strong young woman sharing this and bringing awareness for others. God bless you ❤
I come from a family full of generational abuse on both sides. It's a really, really hard journey. Don't give up on life. Don't give up on yourself. Don't fall prey to the victim mindset. Just keep working on yourself and know, really know that you will make it through this. We are not victims. We are survivors. 💗
thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing. trust me, i think we all have a story to tell, not to diminish in Any way yours…just meaning the more people who open up and share their stories, it just lets us all know we aren’t alone. our stories may not look the same, but just different people and circumstances. years ago my family went through some Really hard stuff, and i remember initially right after it calmed down, i laughed thinking, there is no therapist or psychologist that would Never believe me in a million years of what we all went through…and that right there is the lie…and u sharing your story is proof!! i pray peace for your life, and not sure how your relationships are w/your dad and siblings, but just always take care of you first.💕💕💕
Keeping quiet about these things in our community got us here and just as you said we all have a story to tell. We should feel safe telling it. That’s another reason why I do this is to help others feel like it’s okay to talk about it. The stories may be different but the feelings are the same. Thanks for your support!! I wish you a peaceful life as well
@@LexMindset Thank you very much!! And again, thanks for your bravery for bringing your story to us....maybe one day I can share my story to at least one person :)
You are beautiful and beautiful for making your suffering something to help others with I don't know you and im so sorry you went through this... you amazing soul. Keep fighting for your life you deserve happiness
Sounds like you have suffered the travails of so much from so many. Thank you for your tremendous courage in coming forward. The world needs you to share this. We who have run the gauntlet of torture from our families must survive to warn the rest: Here....this is what you have done. Go and sin no more.
Wow. Give yourself credit for having survived all that. You made it to the outside world. Just take things slowly. Your new life is just beginning. Hopefully at some point, you’ll realize that nothing your sister did to you was about you. If anyone needs therapy, it would be her. Sending you a little prayer of guidance and healing. ❤️🩹🙏
Thank you for taking the time to offer your support. I do know that everything she did had nothing to do with me. When I got older I did all the research. I found that my story wasn’t uncommon and that my sister’s treatment of me after wasn’t either. What happened to her and what she did to me traumatized her as well- when a abuser feels guilt they often will try to wash themselves of it by unconsciously beginning to victim blame. They paint their victim in a way that justifies the abuse in order to protect their mental well-being. The brain is extremely extraordinary.
My heart goes out to you. You seem like such a strong young lady. It's not your fault that there's evil in the hearts of others. And you were vulnerable and targeted by evil.
This....this is exactly what happened to me 😔 I'm 23 now and just now getting help because of it. Thank you for telling your story, there is not enough stories about sister-on-sister abuse.
I’m happy to hear you’re getting help with it. Just hold on to your hope for your future and the belief that one day you won’t think of what happened. Surround yourself with only love and your mind will one day follow. People who love YOU and don’t make you feel judged- you deserve it after all the hate/shame/guilt that filled your mind as a result of what happened. Romanticize your life and make yourself glad to be alive. I wish you a good life given by yourself. Good luck and know you can do anything if you believe you can.
You seem well on the way to eventually working with and helping other people while healing yourself. You tell your story with such amazing clarity and honesty. One sort of wonders though, where the sister came up with the behaviors and whether the whole story of the family is really out yet. Hang in there!
There absolutely is more to the story. The rest will come out in time. Part of it I cannot share because it’s not my story to tell. I can share my experiences but I cannot share what my sister has told me in confidence. However I can say there’s always a reason for how people act. You’re also right about me finding a career that helps people. Hint: healthcare journey incoming 🥹 but my end goal is to be a public speaker which is why I started to dip my toes in making UA-cam videos. Thank you for your support ❤️
Wow, I can see your pain still! Kudos to you for having the courage to share your pain with the world! In these difficult moments, you are breaking free and getting your voice back! Never forget that! I went through sexual abuse from a distant Uncle when I was young but I had a very dysfunctional family and didn't trust my parents to tell them! When I was in my early 20s, I started going to a psychiatrist and it took 9 mths to get it all out. I had to face my demons and one of them was my Dad but I just couldn't do it. So, the doctor said to write him a letter explaining everything I felt about how he treated me, how I felt, what he put me through. I did that but never heard anything from him on it. Well, yrs later he died and I was at the house one day and happen to find my letter to him, in my Mom's sewing table and I asked her about it. She said he was really hurt by it. I was like are you serious? I couldn't have written those things if he hadn't done them! He didn't molest me or anything like that but he didn't love me at all and made sure I knew it every day! He was not to be trusted with my emotions or my well being. I blamed myself for yrs about being molested by my Uncle because I didn't tell anyone! When I told the doctor that, he told me that at that moment in my life, I made the best decision for me and I was blaming myself because I was thinking that I should have made a decision based on what my adult self would have done but I wasn't an adult then so how could I blame myself? That changed everything when I looked at it differently and stopped blaming myself! Sorry for the novel but if my story or experience can help this young lady or anyone else who reads it, it's a win-win for all of us! God Bless!
I’m sorry your dad made the choice to not respond to your letter.. We don’t make those kinds of letters to say “you did this to me!” We do it to get validation and possible reconciliation. He knows that now if you believe in there being some kind of afterlife. Sadly, not in the way you’d hoped but maybe the way his soul needed to learn a final lesson. It’s our parents job to keep us safe. It was never our responsibility to tell someone. It’s the parents job to supervise and make sure others they’re trusting with their child are trustworthy. Like you said: when that “it wasn’t my fault” realization hits you.. life gets better. 🥲
You are an amazing and inspiring survivor. Thank you so much for sharing and I'm sure it will help others. You had so much forgiveness and did not receive kindness in return; there is a side of your sister which is not a good enough person - kind of callous. Perhaps your Dad is like this too. You will have a good life I think because of your strength and good heart, alongside having to heal from all this. Sending good wishes.
I just recently confronted my sister about the things that she did when we were younger. She hasn’t said a thing. I confronted her through a simple text as she lives in another state but being leave in the open with no response is leaving a whole in me that I’m not sure how to deal with. I feel like it being the sister is so unusual for most. I’m grateful you shared your story . I’m sorry you had to be put through something so difficult for an adult to deal with let alone a child. Thank you for speaking out though. Really thank you.
You would have regretted never saying anything more than the silence on your sisters end. Atleast now only one of you is being silent about it. I hope she finds the strength to find her voice and give you answers as well as closure for herself in turn. Sadly this is something many people would rather run then face what they’ve done to someone. However you did everything you were supposed to do to try to heal from this. Without closure and answers unfortunately our understanding of what we went through takes longer to process. But we can still heal without it ❤️
Saddly alot of ppl hide there abuse first time I heard of a sister being the abuser. You are such a strong person Thank You for sharing Prayers amd huggs.
This stuff is so sad. My mother and grandmother are. I had a friend who went through this. I am so sorry this happened to you! It makes me cry. I pray you get help healing and peace. I think people who survived these horrible things are the strongest people in the world
Lex - you are awesome! You posted this with the intent to help others. What a spark of light you are!!! You are courageous and you are strong!! Look in the mirror and know you are beauty:). Your family has issues, it is okay. It is what you do with yourself and what you choose to believe that matters. If you have a negative belief about yourself, please throw it away. You can heal.
You’re very strong and I admire your courage even when you were a child. You helped me feel not so alone in my similar experiences. Thank you, warm regards friend 😊
Wow I admire you for your honesty and strength Lex, that's a really harrowing life story, and thanks for revealing it to us so that everyone can better understand.
I'm so sorry that happened to you I hope you are doing okay today sadly I too was sexually abused when I was a child I was groomed by a family friend I was 4 years old and by a male doctor I blocked what happened to until I was 14 years old I turned to food because I hoped that nobody would see me like that but it only made things worse for me because I was constantly bullied for being fat once I started getting my memory back I turned to self harm to cope with the trauma in a way I blamed myself for what happened I had a full mental breakdown I'm now 32 years old I still have bad days but not much I know what happened to me will always be apart of me but it doesn't have to define me
Thank you for being the first person to share their story in the comments. I’m sorry this happened to you too. Nobody should have to endure the pain that we have. I’ve realized why I’m better now compared to when the memories first started coming back- the reason is because we now know how it affects the brain. We know all the feelings we’re feeling from the trauma are not of our own accord. The guilt/shame is a natural emotion after sexual abuse.. aka it’s not actually our fault and what we’re feeling is automatic. We have 0 control over those feelings of guilt and the thoughts of “what could I have done to prevent this?” It’s just our brain doing it’s thing. The relief I felt at this knowledge is what gave me the strength again to keep going.
So very, very sorry that this has happened to you. For your sister to be doing that, at such a young age, I can't help believing she was abused. Are you on speaking terms where you could ask/write to her? It seems she hates, and is disgusted with herself, and knowing how bad being abused is, can't bear to accept that she was one. She would have been very young, at the onset, I strongly believe she was doing to you, what was being done to her. For example, her deliberately twisting your request to have your mum's jewellery, she would have known it wasn't the monetary value, but to treasure momento's of your mum's. Her trying to justify what she did, in her mind, by your a callous money grabber. Also her reaction to your friend, at your birthday, was it from fear her shameful secret would come out, if you confided in your friend. Something seems "way off", regarding your dad's reactions. The first, his rationing about the jewellery, ....extremely callous. Also his initial reaction to your telling him you were abused. As in "you!" , when, could it be that he was abusing your sister? Maybe, you two, are both victims, and she is carrying self hatred, and has hardened herself to what has happened to her, as a way of coping. Maybe, you two could end up being true sisters, as all studies prove children who act sexually, have been abused. A child doesn't have sexual desires, but will 100% re-enact what is being done to them. Your a beautiful soul, and I pray the truth comes out, with you both being healed. I really hope your okay, please do a new video, even if it's short, to let me know how you are. Sending you my love, and hoping the very best for you 💕
Thank you for your kind words. So she ended up apologizing to me when I was a teenager before my dreams became real core memories. My sisters story is not mine to tell. All I will say is the behavior was learned from a incident with a couple other older children and her. That’s why she asked me randomly as an opener, “did you know that when a child is abused they take it home with them?” But I hadn’t realized at the time that the dreams I was having were memories! So i didn’t have much to say except it’s okay. I know in my soul that she hates herself and that’s the reason she hates me accidentally and justifies those feelings as much as humanly possible. But no we are not on talking terms at all where I could ask her more about it. I wanted to tell her it was okay what happened in more detail and that I don’t blame her because even I went and showed my friends pornography because she’d forced me to watch it. I wasn’t forceful or anything I just told my friends this is what my sister showed me. But, still. It wasn’t about what she did. The only thing that upset me when it came to her was the alienation. I wanted to be her sister and be loved by her anyways. Unfortunately that will never be in the cards for me. She has chosen to see me in a way that is the exact opposite of who I am. She thinks I have narcissistic disorder and that I was a CNA for 8.5 years to make myself feel better. I’ve made a choice to just be myself and those who want to be in my life will be in my life. I’ve tried for so long that there comes a time where all I want is peace and joy in my life. Loving someone who doesn’t love me has tortured me long enough. I matter. My sanity matters. Should she reach out though.. Then here is where I’ll be with open arms. I will make my next video about how I’m doing as of now ❤️ hint: My life now is better then I’d ever dreamed it’d be. Thanks for your support 🥰
@@LexMindset I will pray for you and your sister and your brother. Hopefully its a time will heal situation. Continue to be brave and share your story. And continue to be kind to yourself. Yeshua's Blessings upon you all.
My heart rests a bit in a familiar story. My abuser was my brother, 5 years older. I, too, am diagnosed with severe and chronic major depressive disorder and severe, chronic ptsd with panic. It started when I was around 7 and didn't end until 16. I was then assulted by 2 men around age 20. The result has been 2 suicide attempts that left me hospitialized, a fragumented idenity, and a life that has been lived without knowing what to do with the secret. I am 55 now. I was a teacher for 27 years, have earned 2 master degrees, raised 3 children, and have been married for 30 years. When my world finally crashed 5 years ago, I could no longer serve my students and had to resign. My children have had to visit me in the hospital for an intentional overdose, and a safe was installed that I am unable to open. I am 3 years into intensive therapy. I have over 3000 written entries of vomiting my anger, fear, sorrow, guilt, and shame onto paper. He offered an apology ihat was laced with an excuses and blaming me for his drinking problem.
What they did isn’t something we can just heal and move on from. Even love from our new family’s is only a balm to what we should have had all along. I know out of everything you said what hurt you the most was the effect it had on your children when they visited you after an attempt. As life goes on and we make choices because of what someone did to us- we continue to help build our case against ourselves with self hatred as the driving force. We have to try twice as hard to love life and it’s important to always remember that. I hope after your world crashed 5 years ago you found a way to pick up the pieces in the right way. Give yourself patience and understanding. Remember you didn’t start from the top so don’t expect yourself to act like it. ❤️🩹
Hello Terribly sorry. I have a friend who suffered object abuse from a 16 year old female abuser when she was 2. I'm trying to understand the best way to communicate with her because it affects her severely even though it was so long ago. It is just shocking to me how damaging this can be...no, i haven't been abused so i am struggling to understand. Thank you for sharing this. I look forward to hearing more.
I’ll be doing videos every Friday at 5pm starting next week. I’ll be sure to make a video on how to talk to someone who went through abuse. Thank you for supporting one of us- just being there means the world. I wish your friend all the luck. With people like you by her side she will find her way one day 💜
Sorry for the poor wording in my comment. I just wanted to say something, and that's the best that I could do at the time. Looking forward to your next video! I'm trying to make sure I get an alert... there's a button somewhere I've heard!😂🤣😂🤣
@@briankgdgs3869 hahaha no worries at all I understood you perfectly. I believe it’s when you press the subscribe button that you’ll be notified whenever I upload videos! It’ll be directly under this video ✨
First off, @LexMindset is quite brave. I can relate to parts of her ordeal, especially that portion about things feeling surreal and alluding to disassociating. Between 3-4 I was molested, and was never able to quite validate that fact until many decades later when trying to stop the slow-burn demolition of my life. For me, the impact of sexual abuse at 3 has been there's been sort of like a wall within myself, and I just sort of shut off and respond/behave a certain way to certain things (say touch). My responses are subconscious and instinctual, and my conscious mind fights being aware/feeling so I have little concept of responding differently. I think abuse at so young an age impacted my ability to develop and ingrained a rigid, counterproductive way of responding. Dealing with that- say even being conscious it is happening- is a challenge.
I made it out better then I ever thought possible. I’m genuinely happy and I only allow people who bring me peace into my life. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you have a healthy love filled life as well ❤️
God,what a beautiful,beautiful angel........Hold on to sobriety like a last breath,cuz its worth it;know it and feel it in your soul-it`s a precious,precious fragile piece of life to cherish after that fight to own it....Never take it for granted....My last drink,after several hard-fought ugly and sometimes bloody battles,was on Nov.20,`94,and each and every day after,good or bad,have been godsends......Love and prayers from the coast of Maine......You are one gorgeous woman........
I am deeply sorry for what happened to you. I hope you are in a place of great happiness. Sadly there are bad people in our lives sometimes they are our family. I wish you well and may from now on your life be wonderful.
You don't know me but I wanted to tell how proud I am of you. I just came across this video today 10-4-23. I didn't have the best childhood either and after so many years the mental abuse part still goes on to this day 60 years of it.. you may not see my message here but you never know I guess. I'm always here even if it's a light chat about something completely different. Pretty much isolated myself at this time. So I'm always able to chat. And would talk with anyone else who might want to also
Hey. Thank you for your support first of all. Second of all- you deserve only love and kindness. If isolation is what you need to get a breather from the abuse.. do it. At first it’s really lonely but after some time you start to feel anxiety fade and feel more comfortable in your own space. Don’t let anyone take that away. Keep going ❤️
I listened to every word you were brave enough to speak and I'm so sorry this happened to you I love you thanks for sharing your healing journey in a way that can help many begin theirs own
My female cousin did the same she was exposed to it and did it back to me. We were both children but it made me rely on her a lot emotionally because I felt special to her but to her I wasn’t. She’s now happily married with a son and husband but me? I feel used anytime I am in a relationship if they’re not touching on me or sleeping with me I think they hate me but when I’d sleep with em I’d feel used. I can never ever be comfortable and just happy there’s always some issue. Even though we were both children it fucked me up pretty badly. Childhood sexual abuse is the hardest thing to break through I hope we all heal I am so sorry this happens it breaks my heart. We don’t deserve this suffering that destroys us and is hard to heal from while our abusers don’t suffer at all
That makes a lot of sense though because that’s what you were conditioned to believe is that during those acts they loved you. But then our brain knows better and sees the instant separation after sex. It’s what our abusers did too. My best advice is make them wait for sex. Know they love you so that you have ammo to argue against the thoughts. It’s what helped me process my feelings more easily. Also it helps for people to know how to care for you after the act before ever doing the act. I need reassurance too and can’t just sleep with someone then immediately separate. They can’t be on their phones either for awhile. It makes me feel strange and I instantly get the feeling like I wanna disassociate. Don’t judge yourself for being so “sensitive” listen to the feelings and accommodate them. They will not go away otherwise. I must be treated like a queen after sex or I’ll feel gross. That’s okay!!
Surviving female abuse is incredibly isolating , abuse by female adolescents even more so. Statistics are massively incorrect, due mostly to these particular survivors being less likely to report or admit to the abuse. So this creates a very vicious cycle. Excluding myself, I know three other survivors of female abuse, which would make the downplayed clinically stated 13% of cases being female massively false. While survivors should never be made to feel as if they are in competition, it should be noted that support and acceptance of surviving this type of abuse is nearly non existent, and can often carry a very specific kind of shame. After advocating for awareness for some time, I was warned that woman’s groups would not be welcoming of my claims, and was very surprised to find out that they were right. I was lambasted for even implying that this was as big an issue as I was claiming, and to my shock was told that in these “rare cases” female abusers are almost always victims of men. This is wildly untrue, and a very distorted way of explaining away a perpetrators abuse. The more light we can shed on these cases, the more likely we can provide better opportunities for support. Only a survivor of this specific type of abuse can understand the complexities that come with it.
Wow. It's something you never think of, a sister would do something like this. It's very rare but it happens. I'm Very sorry to hear this happened to you.
Molesters are no longer the creepy old man we grew up being warned about.Its teens, women, boys and girls in diff circumstances and today sadly its not just about misfortune of a situation. Parents and care takers are well aware and are down with the cycle today..The attitude of "It was done to me ,soooo" smh🤦🏾♀️
It's a terrible disease - a cancer eating at society - causing so-called protectors to prey.on and torture their dependents. Stay strong, dear sister - you are not alone . . .
your strong women ❤if sister is the sick one if ur family don’t talk to u so what u can conquer and be strong 🫵💯are a survivor ! it’s sad that many of us have been victims of sexual abuse thank god this generation we speak out we have a voice we are no more silent 💪🙏
So proud of you for telling your story. God bless you. My sister and me wete abandoned by both our parents. Life was hard but we survived although there was a lot of abuse and trauma 😢😢😢
My heart hurts for you, and for so many others like yourself. But my heart sings, too, in witnessing your valor and tenacity; to take something so despicable, which you had no control over, and actually rise up as you have - you are beyond inspiring- such a bright light for other’s to find comfort and solace in! I’m glad you found and turned to Jesus- he is the only salvation against this evilness and sickness that is so prevalent in our world today- and that you were unfortunately surrounded by. It’s hard to get your head around-- that there are those we call ‘family’, or our closest ‘friends’, who are actually filled with such darkness, and are so terribly lost. Sadly, they often prey on those not unlike yourself, who carry the brightest of light imaginable. May you NEVER doubt yourself, nor the beauty and healing gift that you have and are able to offer to the world. And please, never ever dim that beautiful light of your’s again.
Perfectly said! ❤
You told my story.
I'm 70 now and want you to know that Im thriving now, but it is part of me.
You are so far ahead of me when I was your age so you are gonna eventually soar with the bones of steel you developed to survive.
Dont give up.
It gets better and better and better but takes work.
P.S. you're a brave beautiful young lady. Keep sticking up for yourself when need be so bad people wont mess with you and let good people near you.
This brings me such happiness. I never met someone who went through exactly what I did- so to know you made it.. and for you to say I’m on the right path is just so heart warming. Thank you. I’m glad you’re here today to say hey we’ll be okay. ❤️
My oldest sister abused me too and no one believed me for years until she was sent to jail. My family owe me a lot of apology for not believing me. The things she did to me or forced me to do are unimaginable, just plain incest , something only a psychopath would do. I've bled out and got my face smashed in twice etc... life was so tough with her around and I'm so glad she's in a psych ward now.
I’m glad your sister got what she deserved too. It’s just weird how you never seem to hear about a whole family standing by someone who outs an abuser. There’s always a divide or nobody believes them. I wanna know who lies about a loved one touching them cause it’s got to be beyond rare 😅 could you imagine? Oh I don’t really have a problem with you but I’m ganna say you touched me. The fuuuck? Come on now people
@@LexMindsetright. She's mental and I'm also glad she got some help with that. Even though I'll never fully recover from the things she's done I'm still happy she's getting some help.
And if they get better then they don’t abuse anyone else ❤️
Scary woman do woman 2 abuse
Call split personality she act like nothing wrong
I was also sexually abused by my sister. My is 8 years older than me. I have never met anyone else who survived abuse by their sister either. I’m 42 years old and whenever I tell someone about my past, they accept that my father sexually abused me. But when I talk about my sister, it’s always the same reaction from people. Disbelief and shock. Like it’s just so far fetched that a sister could be the monster. My sister has had no consequences for what she has done. She’s married has 3 kids and a grandkid. She destroyed my life. She was also abused by my father. My brother was abused by my father too, but my older brother always tried to protect me. My sister tortured me my whole life. She’s incredibly mean and evil to me to this day. She lives in Tennessee and goes on vacations and it’s not fair. She’s a monster and should be in prison. I can relate with you on this so much 💔😭 I kept my sisters secrets until I was in my 20’s when my father passed and she stole my inheritance. I don’t understand why this life has been given to us…. But I know that we are the ones who can help bring awareness to make this stop. All my love and light to you….
I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s so difficult too because as much as you WANT to feel indifferent- that’s not how it goes. They move on with their life and have a happy one at that.. then you’re just there still thinking about what they did, how they still treat you now, and if they ever think about it. The only thing that’s ever made it better for me was knowing I could help others going through the same thing. It started with just my friends and it turned into a career motivation. It gave me hope that my life doesn’t have to just be a dumpster fire- my experiences can HELP with my career to be a speaker! I can point at that dumpster fire in front of the world and go “I’m using what happened to me as material! I turned my trauma into a fucking career that I’m PAID for” 🤣🤣🤣 talk about turning the tables man. I hope you continue sharing your story as well and wear your scars like battle armor ❤️ P.S: I’m glad you decided to out her after how she treated you over the inheritance. They never deserved our silence.
Mine too but she did it for her brother who abused us too you don't know if it was because of the young age or the fact that I feel hers wasn't as invasive it was a very young age with my sister it wasn't until we were way older that I realized the extent of what she was doing but because It had stopped already I wasn't Leary enough and wise enough to not see it coming with my brother who acts 14 at the time but I vowed never to let that happen to me again I moved out of my house at a very young age I essentially always took care of myself my parents passed away and now my sister has to unexpectedly way too soon I don't know what's going on with all of my information on the Internet is changing I'm so hurt and angry at the same time. The only family I have left is 2 brothers both home refused to speak to me or give me an explanation both who have worked so hard together to screw me but why? I was the youngest for 10 years until my parents had their 5th child when I was 10. He unfortunately was diagnosed with cancer at 2 but for five straight years he fought hard always told us he be cancer-free when he was 8 he died six days before his 8th birthday. My brothers had the nerve to tell me I wasn't even there when he died like they just resort just saying that I'm crazy and it's worked for the most part for them, even my father went as far as saying that I didn't remember things as they happened, the saddest part is is he was the one that was wrong the only people that I have to confirm everything all the lies about me are dead. I have such a big problem with trust now and to be honest with you, I'm in fear that the only reason why my family hates me is because the family that I've been a part of since 14 has told my secret it's the only thing that makes sense.
@@laurazessi1852 sometimes the family we choose is better then the family we got. Friends etc. You’re absolutely right to suspect that the reason you’re being treated a certain way is related to you speaking out. I know that feeling. The always wondering what you did wrong. The answer is simple: you didn’t do a damn thing except expose things they wanted to be kept quiet. When abuse happens in a family- the family divides and takes sides without you even intending for it to happen. They decide if they believe you or not and it seems like your family members have decided to label you as confused. It’s okay in the end though because you don’t want those types of people in your life anyways.. even if they’re family. Stay strong and find your chosen family to replace the support system your given family were SUPPOSED to be. ❤️
This life is a gift 🎁 from God even though trials on earth 🌎 can seem cruel and painful!
God has given us our free agency to choose between ✨️Good✨️ or Evil!
We had to come to 🌎 Earth to receive 🙏🏻 a body to house our spirit, for resurrection!
When Jesus Christ died on the ✝️ cross he was mighty and strong and he could defend himself. But he allowed evil 😈 men to torture him on our behalf! That we could be forgiven for our sins!
We don't know how everything works, we don't know why we are given to families that are less than ideal!
But I know that you're Heavenly Father love's you with all his heart ❤️ 💙 💜 and when Jesus Christ returns you will be made whole, and all will be right! You can be married and have a family of your own then, if you don't have what you want now! Look at what this experience has done, you are stronger 💪 than your sister, kinder than she is! Sometimes adversities make us who God needs 🙏🏻 us to be! You are loved by God, never forget that!
@@stardustgirl2904 Amen 🙌
Please consider this a supportive virtual hug. Your kindness and strength are amazing. 🤗
My heart goes out to you for all you’ve endured. Your strength is humbling. 💜
Thank you for your support. It means the world to me
God bless you sweet girl. And thank you for speaking up. You have inspired me to get tested for my symptoms. I never thought the abuse that my family endured at the hands of our monster might have affected me up to now. You are a very brave and kindhearted woman. You deserve all good things and wonderful people in your life. We all do. I wish I could give you a hug. You are loved
Anddd I think I love this comment the most 🥺 I’m so happy you were given the courage to seek help figuring out what’s going on. if you haven’t told anyone every detail you do remember I suggest seeing a therapist at least once to tell someone. Due to PTSD being untreatable via medication the main focus is on therapy. But, you do what’s best for you! It’s not a one size fits all. Good luck and thank you for your support 😭❤️
What a tragic story. She is such a brave strong woman to tell her stories in the hope of helping others. Bless you 🤗
Your support matters to me. Thank you 🙏🏻
Did you attempt to press charges on your sister?@@LexMindset
I have a similar story of abuse from a sister 3 years older from the time I was about 4 (?) to about 9-10. Again, similarly, I got this weird out-of-context apology, a random phone call when I was 18 saying I don’t know if you remember that “we used to play some inappropriate childish games” [gross understatement] and stating that her therapist said she should “take responsibility” and apologize. Although I fully remembered everything, like you, I didn’t really comprehend what I was doing when I quickly and easily brushed it off offering unequivocal forgiveness. It wasn’t until later that I began to understand the scope and impact of what had happened to me. Like you said, I much later began to understand the secondary aspects of the abuse, which may be even more hideous than the primary abuse. These things for me included: 1) established family myth/commonly accepted understanding of myself as an unreliable narrator-it was accepted “fact” in our family that any question of any event in our family history, no matter how trivial, would be misremembered or remembered wrongly by myself, and that my recollection of any family history of any nature would not be reliable-this was a carefully constructed, crafted, and curated myth perpetrated by my sister so that I would never feel I would be believed and, in fact, I would never be believed. 2) perpetrated myth of myself as a devious little golden girl who may have the parents snowed as to her perfect behavior but is really constantly sneaking around looking for ways to set the sister up to be framed for misdeeds (for which I was “really” at fault and my sister was the “victim” of such persecution). This taught me that I was the one responsible for my sister’s wrong behavior. I endured rehearsal after rehearsal of incident after incident explaining why I was at fault for her misbehavior. 3) commonly accepted family lore undermining my strengths or gifts. We’ll-accepted and commonly repeated phrases like: she doesn’t get straight As because she’s smart, she’s really no more intelligent than average or less. She just gets straight As because she’s a people pleaser and is unhealthily under compulsion to please her teachers (and bonus she has fooled her teachers into believing her golden girl act) . . . and she may seem smart but she’s really not-she’s only book smart, not street smart, not actually intelligent . . . and on and on. Obviously this secondary abuse has had much more far-reaching impacts than even the primary (direct/sexual) abuse. The mental and emotional manipulation and gaslighting and carefully crafted family myths so that I had no point of reference that didn’t also buy this narrative has had significant impacts that I am still unraveling today at age 49.
After that “apology” when I was 18, I was oblivious to the scope and impact of both abuses-I just thought I could let it go or ignore it and move on. My first clue that there was something deeper, darker, and farther reaching in place was years later when my young niece (like 4) asked me for a story of when I was growing up with her mama. I carefully thought out a sweet humorous story that portrayed her mother in a positive light. After the story, my niece gave me a very puzzled look and said, no no no that’s not right, I wanted to hear the story of when YOOUUUU [insert reference to story of bad-me/victim my sister] . . . and when YOOUUU [insert another story of bad me] . . . and on and on. I was shocked that my 4 year old niece had a well-rehearsed library of stories about bad-me and how I supposedly victimized my sister by faking being the golden girl and setting my sister up and framing her to get in trouble. That was the first chip in the veneer-that stuck with me for years more before I began to recognize and address the issues. Meanwhile my sister has been protected for decades-I have never told what she did to anyone except my spouse and my therapist.
Everything about this comment speaks to me. Before we even recognized what was ACTUALLY going on between our abuser and family- everything was set in stone. I think the reason for this is because our abusers might have not lost their memories so they always knew they had something they needed to keep quiet. With us we had bits a pieces and had to come to terms with accepting the bits and pieces as reality. It was always real to them so they had time to make things shift their way. By the time our head comes above water we’re looking at everything going, “you’re an absolute evil mastermind” even exposing them falls perfectly in line with their role they’ve set for you. I’m sorry you had to experience our story. It’s one of the hardest paths in life but I’m glad you’re still here despite them all.
@@LexMindset thank you. I should clarify that I never did forget or have repressed memories, but it did take me a long time to realize the significance of what happened or even to have a name to put to the secondary stuff, and also in what ways those things impacted me.
Just because you forgave her for the abuse, it doesn't mean you forgave her for creating these stories about you and feeding them to your family and her children. She should be held accountable for those things and you have a right to do so!
God bless you. As someone who was also abused for a couple of years early in life I know how hard it is, also how we blank out memories only for them to surface up later on in life. You are so sweet and strong and deserve the world.
Bless u girl - my sister also abused Me and I asked her last year if she remembered and why she did it , hoping for an apology and acknowledge ment and guess what.....she told Me no sorry. I don't really remember yesterday, I have 2 kids bla bla bla 😮 busy life !!
I told the family as she's very much seen as the golden child , as she is a good conformer ....no one supported me. Not 1 of them and there's 5 of them
These ppl ain't my family. 💯
Yeah nooo.. she lied cause wouldn’t the reaction if you truly didn’t do it/didn’t remember wouldn’t you say “why would you think that?!” Her commenting on not being able to remember is a key giveaway that she does know what you’re talking about but is claiming not to recall: aka not take responsibility. I’m sorry you didn’t get the validation and support you needed. I was lucky to have my brother stand by me but even that felt so lonely. You’re strong to still be here today. I’m glad you told everyone even if they didn’t believe you because at the end of the day it showed you who’s worth having in your life 😤
Thank you so much for allowing us to hear your story. I hope to one day speak about my own struggles and the sexual abuse I faced as a child ages 5-12. There is a darkness in life that only we can know, but you are strong and I'm happy to hear that you have found empowerment through this journey.
Siblings can be so evil. Living under the same roof is torture. God bless. Time is a good healer. I can relate to several aspects of your story. Let out the pain/cry whenever you can; it's a good thing.
i'm dealing with abuse from a family member and this is really helpful. I also spent so much time chasing the person around and wanting their love and approval while they just pushed me away. I have never heard anyone share that experience. i feel less alone. thank you
Just want to say. You're awesome. This was so pure and human. I know it took a lot of strength to make this video and become the person who could make this video. My heart broke a hundred times hearing your story, but I am left with so much hope. You are so strong...and just...awesome. Keep fighting the good fight.
Thank you.. Words cannot express how happy I am that I accomplished my goal with this video- to give hope. I appreciate your support and I’ll hold on to your words. It’s your story… How you paint it is your choice 🎨🌌
You sweet girl, you are so brave to share this. You don't deserve what has been done to you. They are messed up people. It's so heartbreaking to hear your story. I am so sorry you had to go through that. This world can be so unfair.
Thank you so much for your support. It was a chain of events that wasn’t their fault alone 💜
My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain, I too experienced this with a parent and recently remembered. You are a genuine soul, who is spreading awareness that is so desperately needed. Hang in there, it gets better. Sending hugs💛
Man I remember how confused I felt when the memories started to click.. Take it one step at a time. Allow all the feelings and give yourself grace. You’re worthy of respect and love. Good luck to you, Survivor.
You're insanely strong thank you for staying in this world and helping heal others who deserve to be believed and comforted
I was so very moved by your bravery in sharing your experience and bringing awareness on this matter.
The pervious author couldn’t said it better , My heart hurt for you, as your story unfolded, I cried with you ……….... you are So amazing..
Be that lighthouse. You will inspire many. 🎉
Thank you. I’ll be carrying this comment with me 🥺❤️
Brave lady...I salute and honour you for you bringing this in to the light! You'll open the doors for others! Bravo! 🙌🌟🌈
🥺❤️
I have lots of similar trauma in my family. Something to consider may be that your father and sister likely have also had similar trauma. Your sister had to have learned that from someone else. It’s almost guaranteed that your sister endured something very similar from someone older then her. Not saying this is ok by any means but Perhaps you can find a shred of peace from knowing this. This is extremely common, you’re not alone. I applaud you for sharing this openly! Very brave! ❤ your past does not define you, you’re not that person anymore. 💪
I can’t share my sisters story but I can tell you yes you’re right it was a learned behavior after an incident with older children. It does give me peace knowing there’s a reason for what happened to me. Thank you for your support and I’m sorry your family is going through the same thing. I wish we didn’t have to experience this but I’m glad we’re here for each other too. It’s bittersweet for sure ❤️
@UnclePutin I agree with all that you said. You hit it right on the mark. By the way try searching on UA-cam “Adult Sleep Stories” since you mentioned calming voices. My favorite is the Harry Potter 5 hour adult sleep story
My heart goes out to you and all the other women that have been abused like this one. ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you Alex for alerting us. All my best on your healing journey.
This was heartbreaking. Know that you are an amazing young Lady with great beauty. Be strong and please keep close to Faith. Never blame yourself and treat yourself with kindness and love.
Your story is so painful and I believed every word. I can identify with parts of your story. Thank you for sharing.
I’m so glad you tell your story, your truth.
It’s unbelievable how the ones we are raised to love, family first, are the abusers.
Oh Sweetheart!!!❤
THANK YOU for sharing your story!! I felt so much empathy for you…Believe it or not, there were SO MANY Parts that I related to EXACTLY!
You have a pure, sweet heart, and I am so sorry it was trampled upon so horribly by those who were supposed to Love and Protect you.❤
Thank you for your support and checking out the rest of my videos!!! You are noticed and appreciated 😩 I’m sorry life wasn’t kind to you either. We will find a way to be okay one way or another ❤️
You poor baby
Sweet LexMindset, you will never loose the memories, but it will become easyer when you get older. I have C-PTSS, so i now how it works. Keep fighting. You are so worth to live. Find yourself in yourself and forgive. Thanks for reading my message.
You are not alone….I feel your pain & thank you for your courage & inspiration. Continue to share your story I pray that you can heal in the process & overcome your addiction. We all deserve happiness & peace….& more
Just wow. You are strong and amazing. This did not look easy to film. Thank you for sharing. Keep doing what you’re doing, it will make the difference for many 🙏🏼
Thank you so much for saying that. It means more than you know ❤️
I can identify with the pain of abuse. Not at the hands of my sister but with 3 family members and my ex-husband. You are strong and so very brave. I love your messagr that you are putting out there for the world. Definitely not easy to do!
How courageous! I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through & hope you continue to heal & help others. Sending virtual hugs 💙
Thank you for your support and encouragement 🥲❤️
My heart goes out to you. Hopefully, your sister isn’t around anyone else she can victimize.
Thank you for your support. Every single day you all bring smiles to my face. She does have a family of her own but I hope that it was a isolated incident of just anti me and that she has a peaceful happy life.
@@LexMindset😬😳
You are so real, and open. I admire you deeply for telling your story. The life lessons that were etched into your soul, brought forth your core values. You are beautiful, and genuine! The ones of us that have also been abused and confused, we find strength from your words. You are so brave and I thank you. I will be watching for your newest content. You have a most peaceful day today! 🫂💗
So sorry you had to go through this without any support. The child in you will heal. There is nothing wrong with you , you could not help what happened to you as you had no control as a child and did not understand. I pray that you will have the strength to forgive your sister also your father for his indifference. Wishing you every blessing for the future.
Almost five years ago, I was also sexually abused by one of my childhood 'best friends' and it absolutely tore me to shreds and still does, because not only was this person my 'best friend', they are also related to me very closely by blood, so I can never truly escape them. This person is less than a year older than me, we were so so close, until they started the abuse. It hurts so much still.
It’s so difficult to wrap your head around why someone would hurt someone that they “care” about. It makes it so much more complicated because it just doesn’t make sense to us. Then the continued contact after the abuse is another terrible aspect. I think that’s why people claim to have better chances at healing when they go no contact because you’re not constantly reopening the wound. How can our brain heal or recognize it’s not in danger if we still see the person who put us in danger? Regardless of it stopping that’s the reality of it ❤️
My heart goes out to you, bless you for your bravery.
May your story be spread to all in hopes that child victims know they are not alone and parents learn the importance of protecting all children. I share in your pain and hope that one day the ill effects of your childhood are put to rest.
Dear you are one of the bravest people that has walked the face of this earth, My prayers are dedicated to you for your fullest recovery (if that is even possible) I send love, human, caring love.
Talk about brave. I really hope you find piece and can enjoy your life. Youre a very strong young woman sharing this and bringing awareness for others. God bless you ❤
I come from a family full of generational abuse on both sides. It's a really, really hard journey. Don't give up on life. Don't give up on yourself. Don't fall prey to the victim mindset. Just keep working on yourself and know, really know that you will make it through this. We are not victims. We are survivors. 💗
thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing. trust me, i think we all have a story to tell, not to diminish in Any way yours…just meaning the more people who open up and share their stories, it just lets us all know we aren’t alone. our stories may not look the same, but just different people and circumstances. years ago my family went through some Really hard stuff, and i remember initially right after it calmed down, i laughed thinking, there is no therapist or psychologist that would Never believe me in a million years of what we all went through…and that right there is the lie…and u sharing your story is proof!! i pray peace for your life, and not sure how your relationships are w/your dad and siblings, but just always take care of you first.💕💕💕
Keeping quiet about these things in our community got us here and just as you said we all have a story to tell. We should feel safe telling it. That’s another reason why I do this is to help others feel like it’s okay to talk about it. The stories may be different but the feelings are the same. Thanks for your support!! I wish you a peaceful life as well
@@LexMindset Thank you very much!! And again, thanks for your bravery for bringing your story to us....maybe one day I can share my story to at least one person :)
You are beautiful and beautiful for making your suffering something to help others with I don't know you and im so sorry you went through this... you amazing soul. Keep fighting for your life you deserve happiness
Sounds like you have suffered the travails of so much from so many. Thank you for your tremendous courage in coming forward. The world needs you to share this. We who have run the gauntlet of torture from our families must survive to warn the rest: Here....this is what you have done. Go and sin no more.
This!! I feel so much hope for this channel and everyone who sees my videos and shares what they learn with others ❤️😭
Wow.
Give yourself credit for having survived all that. You made it to the outside world.
Just take things slowly. Your new life is just beginning.
Hopefully at some point, you’ll realize that nothing your sister did to you was about you. If anyone needs therapy, it would be her.
Sending you a little prayer of guidance and healing. ❤️🩹🙏
Thank you for taking the time to offer your support. I do know that everything she did had nothing to do with me. When I got older I did all the research. I found that my story wasn’t uncommon and that my sister’s treatment of me after wasn’t either. What happened to her and what she did to me traumatized her as well- when a abuser feels guilt they often will try to wash themselves of it by unconsciously beginning to victim blame. They paint their victim in a way that justifies the abuse in order to protect their mental well-being. The brain is extremely extraordinary.
Keep healing. My heart goes out to you.
My heart goes out to you.
You seem like such a strong young lady.
It's not your fault that there's evil in the hearts of others. And you were vulnerable and targeted by evil.
This....this is exactly what happened to me 😔 I'm 23 now and just now getting help because of it. Thank you for telling your story, there is not enough stories about sister-on-sister abuse.
I’m happy to hear you’re getting help with it. Just hold on to your hope for your future and the belief that one day you won’t think of what happened. Surround yourself with only love and your mind will one day follow. People who love YOU and don’t make you feel judged- you deserve it after all the hate/shame/guilt that filled your mind as a result of what happened. Romanticize your life and make yourself glad to be alive. I wish you a good life given by yourself. Good luck and know you can do anything if you believe you can.
You seem well on the way to eventually working with and helping other people while healing yourself. You tell your story with such amazing clarity and honesty. One sort of wonders though, where the sister came up with the behaviors and whether the whole story of the family is really out yet. Hang in there!
There absolutely is more to the story. The rest will come out in time. Part of it I cannot share because it’s not my story to tell. I can share my experiences but I cannot share what my sister has told me in confidence. However I can say there’s always a reason for how people act. You’re also right about me finding a career that helps people. Hint: healthcare journey incoming 🥹 but my end goal is to be a public speaker which is why I started to dip my toes in making UA-cam videos. Thank you for your support ❤️
@@LexMindset Thank you for bravely sharing your soulful journey with us.
This is heartbreaking beyond description
Thank for speaking out these things should be spoken about praying for your healing 🙏🙏
Wow, I can see your pain still! Kudos to you for having the courage to share your pain with the world! In these difficult moments, you are breaking free and getting your voice back! Never forget that! I went through sexual abuse from a distant Uncle when I was young but I had a very dysfunctional family and didn't trust my parents to tell them! When I was in my early 20s, I started going to a psychiatrist and it took 9 mths to get it all out. I had to face my demons and one of them was my Dad but I just couldn't do it. So, the doctor said to write him a letter explaining everything I felt about how he treated me, how I felt, what he put me through. I did that but never heard anything from him on it. Well, yrs later he died and I was at the house one day and happen to find my letter to him, in my Mom's sewing table and I asked her about it. She said he was really hurt by it. I was like are you serious? I couldn't have written those things if he hadn't done them! He didn't molest me or anything like that but he didn't love me at all and made sure I knew it every day! He was not to be trusted with my emotions or my well being. I blamed myself for yrs about being molested by my Uncle because I didn't tell anyone! When I told the doctor that, he told me that at that moment in my life, I made the best decision for me and I was blaming myself because I was thinking that I should have made a decision based on what my adult self would have done but I wasn't an adult then so how could I blame myself? That changed everything when I looked at it differently and stopped blaming myself! Sorry for the novel but if my story or experience can help this young lady or anyone else who reads it, it's a win-win for all of us! God Bless!
I’m sorry your dad made the choice to not respond to your letter.. We don’t make those kinds of letters to say “you did this to me!” We do it to get validation and possible reconciliation. He knows that now if you believe in there being some kind of afterlife. Sadly, not in the way you’d hoped but maybe the way his soul needed to learn a final lesson. It’s our parents job to keep us safe. It was never our responsibility to tell someone. It’s the parents job to supervise and make sure others they’re trusting with their child are trustworthy. Like you said: when that “it wasn’t my fault” realization hits you.. life gets better. 🥲
Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Please forgive yourself you’re not alone. Much love to you.
You are an amazing and inspiring survivor. Thank you so much for sharing and I'm sure it will help others. You had so much forgiveness and did not receive kindness in return; there is a side of your sister which is not a good enough person - kind of callous. Perhaps your Dad is like this too. You will have a good life I think because of your strength and good heart, alongside having to heal from all this. Sending good wishes.
I just recently confronted my sister about the things that she did when we were younger. She hasn’t said a thing. I confronted her through a simple text as she lives in another state but being leave in the open with no response is leaving a whole in me that I’m not sure how to deal with. I feel like it being the sister is so unusual for most. I’m grateful you shared your story . I’m sorry you had to be put through something so difficult for an adult to deal with let alone a child. Thank you for speaking out though. Really thank you.
You would have regretted never saying anything more than the silence on your sisters end. Atleast now only one of you is being silent about it. I hope she finds the strength to find her voice and give you answers as well as closure for herself in turn. Sadly this is something many people would rather run then face what they’ve done to someone. However you did everything you were supposed to do to try to heal from this. Without closure and answers unfortunately our understanding of what we went through takes longer to process. But we can still heal without it ❤️
Thank you so much for being strong enough to share this horrible trauma that you endured. It definitely helps others feel that they aren’t alone.
You are strong and beautiful, keep healing!
I'm a survivor as well. So my heart goes out to you!
Saddly alot of ppl hide there abuse first time I heard of a sister being the abuser. You are such a strong person Thank You for sharing Prayers amd huggs.
Thank you, that means a lot to me. I appreciate you taking the time to watch my videos 🥹
I’m so sorry and I’m listening too. Praying for you
I was sexually assaulted by my neighbor when I was 8-10. I'm so sorry you went through this. Thank you for sharing.
This stuff is so sad. My mother and grandmother are. I had a friend who went through this. I am so sorry this happened to you! It makes me cry. I pray you get help healing and peace. I think people who survived these horrible things are the strongest people in the world
Lex - you are awesome! You posted this with the intent to help others. What a spark of light you are!!! You are courageous and you are strong!! Look in the mirror and know you are beauty:). Your family has issues, it is okay. It is what you do with yourself and what you choose to believe that matters. If you have a negative belief about yourself, please throw it away. You can heal.
I feel for you. I understand and congratulate you for surviving! I’ve subscribed and hope you grow a supportive community on UA-cam. ❤️
The pain you carry is obviously emmense. Your strength to carry it is even greater. You are a mighty woman. My heart breaks with you.
Thank you for your supportive words.. I hope to carry it in a way that inspires others as well as myself
You’re very strong and I admire your courage even when you were a child. You helped me feel not so alone in my similar experiences. Thank you, warm regards friend 😊
Wow I admire you for your honesty and strength Lex, that's a really harrowing life story, and thanks for revealing it to us so that everyone can better understand.
bless u and thanks for sharing, you are helping so many others with your honesty and truth
I'm so sorry that happened to you I hope you are doing okay today sadly I too was sexually abused when I was a child I was groomed by a family friend I was 4 years old and by a male doctor I blocked what happened to until I was 14 years old I turned to food because I hoped that nobody would see me like that but it only made things worse for me because I was constantly bullied for being fat once I started getting my memory back I turned to self harm to cope with the trauma in a way I blamed myself for what happened I had a full mental breakdown I'm now 32 years old I still have bad days but not much I know what happened to me will always be apart of me but it doesn't have to define me
Thank you for being the first person to share their story in the comments. I’m sorry this happened to you too. Nobody should have to endure the pain that we have. I’ve realized why I’m better now compared to when the memories first started coming back- the reason is because we now know how it affects the brain. We know all the feelings we’re feeling from the trauma are not of our own accord. The guilt/shame is a natural emotion after sexual abuse.. aka it’s not actually our fault and what we’re feeling is automatic. We have 0 control over those feelings of guilt and the thoughts of “what could I have done to prevent this?” It’s just our brain doing it’s thing. The relief I felt at this knowledge is what gave me the strength again to keep going.
So very, very sorry that this has happened to you. For your sister to be doing that, at such a young age, I can't help believing she was abused. Are you on speaking terms where you could ask/write to her? It seems she hates, and is disgusted with herself, and knowing how bad being abused is, can't bear to accept that she was one. She would have been very young, at the onset, I strongly believe she was doing to you, what was being done to her. For example, her deliberately twisting your request to have your mum's jewellery, she would have known it wasn't the monetary value, but to treasure momento's of your mum's. Her trying to justify what she did, in her mind, by your a callous money grabber. Also her reaction to your friend, at your birthday, was it from fear her shameful secret would come out, if you confided in your friend. Something seems "way off", regarding your dad's reactions. The first, his rationing about the jewellery, ....extremely callous. Also his initial reaction to your telling him you were abused. As in "you!" , when, could it be that he was abusing your sister? Maybe, you two, are both victims, and she is carrying self hatred, and has hardened herself to what has happened to her, as a way of coping. Maybe, you two could end up being true sisters, as all studies prove children who act sexually, have been abused. A child doesn't have sexual desires, but will 100% re-enact what is being done to them. Your a beautiful soul, and I pray the truth comes out, with you both being healed. I really hope your okay, please do a new video, even if it's short, to let me know how you are. Sending you my love, and hoping the very best for you 💕
Thank you for your kind words. So she ended up apologizing to me when I was a teenager before my dreams became real core memories. My sisters story is not mine to tell. All I will say is the behavior was learned from a incident with a couple other older children and her. That’s why she asked me randomly as an opener, “did you know that when a child is abused they take it home with them?” But I hadn’t realized at the time that the dreams I was having were memories! So i didn’t have much to say except it’s okay. I know in my soul that she hates herself and that’s the reason she hates me accidentally and justifies those feelings as much as humanly possible. But no we are not on talking terms at all where I could ask her more about it. I wanted to tell her it was okay what happened in more detail and that I don’t blame her because even I went and showed my friends pornography because she’d forced me to watch it. I wasn’t forceful or anything I just told my friends this is what my sister showed me. But, still. It wasn’t about what she did. The only thing that upset me when it came to her was the alienation. I wanted to be her sister and be loved by her anyways. Unfortunately that will never be in the cards for me. She has chosen to see me in a way that is the exact opposite of who I am. She thinks I have narcissistic disorder and that I was a CNA for 8.5 years to make myself feel better. I’ve made a choice to just be myself and those who want to be in my life will be in my life. I’ve tried for so long that there comes a time where all I want is peace and joy in my life. Loving someone who doesn’t love me has tortured me long enough. I matter. My sanity matters. Should she reach out though.. Then here is where I’ll be with open arms. I will make my next video about how I’m doing as of now ❤️ hint: My life now is better then I’d ever dreamed it’d be. Thanks for your support 🥰
I agree with this.
@@joanofarcxxi God bless you 😘💕
@@LexMindset I will pray for you and your sister and your brother. Hopefully its a time will heal situation. Continue to be brave and share your story. And continue to be kind to yourself. Yeshua's Blessings upon you all.
My heart rests a bit in a familiar story. My abuser was my brother, 5 years older. I, too, am diagnosed with severe and chronic major depressive disorder and severe, chronic ptsd with panic. It started when I was around 7 and didn't end until 16. I was then assulted by 2 men around age 20. The result has been 2 suicide attempts that left me hospitialized, a fragumented idenity, and a life that has been lived without knowing what to do with the secret. I am 55 now. I was a teacher for 27 years, have earned 2 master degrees, raised 3 children, and have been married for 30 years. When my world finally crashed 5 years ago, I could no longer serve my students and had to resign. My children have had to visit me in the hospital for an intentional overdose, and a safe was installed that I am unable to open. I am 3 years into intensive therapy. I have over 3000 written entries of vomiting my anger, fear, sorrow, guilt, and shame onto paper. He offered an apology ihat was laced with an excuses and blaming me for his drinking problem.
What they did isn’t something we can just heal and move on from. Even love from our new family’s is only a balm to what we should have had all along. I know out of everything you said what hurt you the most was the effect it had on your children when they visited you after an attempt. As life goes on and we make choices because of what someone did to us- we continue to help build our case against ourselves with self hatred as the driving force. We have to try twice as hard to love life and it’s important to always remember that. I hope after your world crashed 5 years ago you found a way to pick up the pieces in the right way. Give yourself patience and understanding. Remember you didn’t start from the top so don’t expect yourself to act like it. ❤️🩹
Hello
Terribly sorry. I have a friend who suffered object abuse from a 16 year old female abuser when she was 2. I'm trying to understand the best way to communicate with her because it affects her severely even though it was so long ago. It is just shocking to me how damaging this can be...no, i haven't been abused so i am struggling to understand. Thank you for sharing this. I look forward to hearing more.
I’ll be doing videos every Friday at 5pm starting next week. I’ll be sure to make a video on how to talk to someone who went through abuse. Thank you for supporting one of us- just being there means the world. I wish your friend all the luck. With people like you by her side she will find her way one day 💜
Sorry for the poor wording in my comment. I just wanted to say something, and that's the best that I could do at the time.
Looking forward to your next video! I'm trying to make sure I get an alert... there's a button somewhere I've heard!😂🤣😂🤣
@@briankgdgs3869 hahaha no worries at all I understood you perfectly. I believe it’s when you press the subscribe button that you’ll be notified whenever I upload videos! It’ll be directly under this video ✨
I imagine it must be horrifying and terrifying for a little child to have someone do those things to them... so ofcourse it is damaging
First off, @LexMindset is quite brave. I can relate to parts of her ordeal, especially that portion about things feeling surreal and alluding to disassociating. Between 3-4 I was molested, and was never able to quite validate that fact until many decades later when trying to stop the slow-burn demolition of my life. For me, the impact of sexual abuse at 3 has been there's been sort of like a wall within myself, and I just sort of shut off and respond/behave a certain way to certain things (say touch). My responses are subconscious and instinctual, and my conscious mind fights being aware/feeling so I have little concept of responding differently. I think abuse at so young an age impacted my ability to develop and ingrained a rigid, counterproductive way of responding. Dealing with that- say even being conscious it is happening- is a challenge.
Girl you are so brave. I can't even imagine what happened to you as a child. I could never tell my children that I disown them. ❤
'Tired of keeping secrets for people who didn't care about me." Heartbreaking to have that pain. Forces us to be the bigger person.
Big lionhugs from Stockholm Sweden and a happy christmas to you Hope everything is fine with you
I'm so sorry that you went through all of this! I hope you are well and recovered and living a happy and healthy life!
I made it out better then I ever thought possible. I’m genuinely happy and I only allow people who bring me peace into my life. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you have a healthy love filled life as well ❤️
@@LexMindset I'm very happy for you. :)
I'm a 70 year old male I have very little memory as a child but from what I have been told from a older sibling that my Dad abused me.
God,what a beautiful,beautiful angel........Hold on to sobriety like a last breath,cuz its worth it;know it and feel it in your soul-it`s a precious,precious fragile piece of life to cherish after that fight to own it....Never take it for granted....My last drink,after several hard-fought ugly and sometimes bloody battles,was on Nov.20,`94,and each and every day after,good or bad,have been godsends......Love and prayers from the coast of Maine......You are one gorgeous woman........
I am deeply sorry for what happened to you. I hope you are in a place of great happiness. Sadly there are bad people in our lives sometimes they are our family. I wish you well and may from now on your life be wonderful.
How awful may the wings of the universe wrap LOVE &PROTECTION ❤
You don't know me but I wanted to tell how proud I am of you. I just came across this video today 10-4-23. I didn't have the best childhood either and after so many years the mental abuse part still goes on to this day 60 years of it.. you may not see my message here but you never know I guess. I'm always here even if it's a light chat about something completely different. Pretty much isolated myself at this time. So I'm always able to chat. And would talk with anyone else who might want to also
Hey. Thank you for your support first of all. Second of all- you deserve only love and kindness. If isolation is what you need to get a breather from the abuse.. do it. At first it’s really lonely but after some time you start to feel anxiety fade and feel more comfortable in your own space. Don’t let anyone take that away. Keep going ❤️
I was SA by a sister too... There was all kinds of crap going on in my blended family that my parents didn't even realize...
I’m sorry you had to experience this too.. I hope you know how strong you are to still be here today. Do you mind if I ask if the truth ever came out?
I’m so sorry for all that you went through. 💙
I listened to every word you were brave enough to speak and I'm so sorry this happened to you I love you thanks for sharing your healing journey in a way that can help many begin theirs own
Because of you I said something....I will always love you...I'm sorry for your pain and grateful for your strength
My female cousin did the same she was exposed to it and did it back to me. We were both children but it made me rely on her a lot emotionally because I felt special to her but to her I wasn’t. She’s now happily married with a son and husband but me? I feel used anytime I am in a relationship if they’re not touching on me or sleeping with me I think they hate me but when I’d sleep with em I’d feel used. I can never ever be comfortable and just happy there’s always some issue. Even though we were both children it fucked me up pretty badly. Childhood sexual abuse is the hardest thing to break through I hope we all heal I am so sorry this happens it breaks my heart. We don’t deserve this suffering that destroys us and is hard to heal from while our abusers don’t suffer at all
That makes a lot of sense though because that’s what you were conditioned to believe is that during those acts they loved you. But then our brain knows better and sees the instant separation after sex. It’s what our abusers did too. My best advice is make them wait for sex. Know they love you so that you have ammo to argue against the thoughts. It’s what helped me process my feelings more easily. Also it helps for people to know how to care for you after the act before ever doing the act. I need reassurance too and can’t just sleep with someone then immediately separate. They can’t be on their phones either for awhile. It makes me feel strange and I instantly get the feeling like I wanna disassociate. Don’t judge yourself for being so “sensitive” listen to the feelings and accommodate them. They will not go away otherwise. I must be treated like a queen after sex or I’ll feel gross. That’s okay!!
You are courageous. Respect.
Surviving female abuse is incredibly isolating , abuse by female adolescents even more so. Statistics are massively incorrect, due mostly to these particular survivors being less likely to report or admit to the abuse. So this creates a very vicious cycle. Excluding myself, I know three other survivors of female abuse, which would make the downplayed clinically stated 13% of cases being female massively false. While survivors should never be made to feel as if they are in competition, it should be noted that support and acceptance of surviving this type of abuse is nearly non existent, and can often carry a very specific kind of shame. After advocating for awareness for some time, I was warned that woman’s groups would not be welcoming of my claims, and was very surprised to find out that they were right. I was lambasted for even implying that this was as big an issue as I was claiming, and to my shock was told that in these “rare cases” female abusers are almost always victims of men. This is wildly untrue, and a very distorted way of explaining away a perpetrators abuse. The more light we can shed on these cases, the more likely we can provide better opportunities for support. Only a survivor of this specific type of abuse can understand the complexities that come with it.
This is so moving. I was abused by a family member too. It does get better.
Wow. It's something you never think of, a sister would do something like this. It's very rare but it happens. I'm Very sorry to hear this happened to you.
I am so sorry you had to go through this 😢.
You are a brave, strong and amazing person. God bless you
Thank you for bravely sharing your story
Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are very brave and generous.
Molesters are no longer the creepy old man we grew up being warned about.Its teens, women, boys and girls in diff circumstances and today sadly its not just about misfortune of a situation. Parents and care takers are well aware and are down with the cycle today..The attitude of "It was done to me ,soooo" smh🤦🏾♀️
It's a terrible disease - a cancer eating at society - causing so-called protectors to prey.on and torture their dependents. Stay strong, dear sister - you are not alone . . .
your strong women ❤if sister is the sick one if ur family don’t talk to u so what u can conquer and be strong 🫵💯are a survivor ! it’s sad that many of us have been victims of sexual abuse thank god this generation we speak out we have a voice we are no more silent 💪🙏
Stay strong girl 💙
So proud of you for telling your story. God bless you. My sister and me wete abandoned by both our parents. Life was hard but we survived although there was a lot of abuse and trauma 😢😢😢
I’m sorry you both went through that. I’m glad you both had each other to stay strong. We all need something to keep us fighting ❤️