“People think that grief slowly gets smaller with time. In reality, grief stays the same size. But slowly life begins to grow bigger around it” - Dr Lois Tonkin
Best explaination I ever heard was by a hospice nurse, grief is a giant red button that sits inside a box and that box is your everyday life. Whenever someone passes away, the box surrounding the button is very small and the button takes up a majority of the space inside. And every time that button gets pushed it causes a physical pain like an electrical shock. And someone releases a bouncy ball inside the box and shuts the door. So it bounces off the walls and hits that pain button a lot. But over time the box surrounding said pain button gets larger. The button never gets smaller, it is always the same size. The pain felt when the button pushes never diminishes, it feels the exact same level of pain that you felt the first time it was pushed. As you go through life and the box gets bigger the button gets hit by the bouncy ball less and less. But when it does, it is all consuming agony. It never gets less and the button never gets smaller. The worst part, you can’t see the bouncy ball, you have no warning when it’s going to hit the button. You simply just live your life, hoping beyond hope that the button doesn’t get hit by the bouncy ball. But you know it will eventually. Sometimes it happens backed to back and you have to deal with another shock of pain before you have recovered from the last hit. And then sometimes it doesn’t get hit for a long time but when it does, it still brings you to your knees just like the first time.” I hope that I explained that correctly.
The fact that you considered the feelings of the female officer that had to be in the room with your deceased child, even in the midst of your own grief, says a lot about your character. God bless you and I am saddened by your loss.
I was really struck by that too. And the grief her mother had to go through in identifying her daughter. Empathy like this is truly a rare gift and you shine even though it is so terribly difficult right now. You don’t need anything more than yourself to give. That is MORE than enough! I believe you are just what this world needs right now. I’m so sorry for your tremendous loss. Never give up.
I am so very sorry your beloved daughter is missing from you . As well as the man that you had loved as a husband and father- though you were seperated it had to be such a horrible blow.😢😢😢😢
Yes, it's a true testament to one's character and their remarkable kindness to not only think about a total stranger's feelings but to genuinely consider them in a moment when selfishness would be entirely warranted and expected.
I'm not sure why UA-cam recommended this video to me, but I don't believe in coincidences. I'm honored to have held space with you for 36 minutes while you told us your story. You, your family, and Ashley's family will be in my prayers. I simply cannot imagine that kind of crushing grief you all are going through.
No such thing as coincidences in life. My heart hurts about this whole video. I lost my niece in a car accident and I was talking about it today..... before I was recommended this video. AI and algorithm is CRAZY! They always listening (our phones) 😢
Hi. I don't know why I clicked on your video, but once it started I felt like it would be disrespectful to stop. Your loss is unimaginable. I wept with you, but I don't know that I could forgive the way you have. Your strength is inspiring. I will, when I'm brave enough I will watch. No matter what I wish you the best, I hope you find light and I know you will share it. ❤
THIS 100%!!!! I always have what seems like a 100 tabs open on 6 browser windows on 3 screens, and I had this open from another time and had left it open after last video I watched. This one was part of the collage of suggested views at that end. Once I clicked on it, I was frozen....did nothing with all the open tabs, didn't interact with them in the slightest other than visually seeing them open. I cried A LOT (quietly, that's just how I do it usually). Back to being younger and quietly standing back behind my parents and sniffling at Hallmark movies or whatever it was then. I try not be seen or noticed crying. I was frozen watching this. I watch a lot of Honor Walks, it's like I'm a sucker for punishment. I don't know why I hurt and cry as if I was the one who lost something. Maybe it stems from my own losses, people & animals etc. While I know I've said a lot, I don't know what to say to you at all. Could sit here for an hour and try and think of something other than the only line so many of us can use....."Sorry for your loss". That was deep.....Even "Thanks for sharing" doesn't seem right to say.....Not exactly a lyrically deep song, but maybe me cue up Natalie Merchant song "Life is Sweet".
This is exactly how I felt. The thought of not watching it through felt so disrespectful. Hearing it alone makes my stomach turn so can’t imagine explaining it and living it. She’s so strong and I feel so bad she had to go through this. I hope it gets better for her as time goes on. She deserves peace and happiness 🙏🏾
He was a deliberately HOMICIDAL person. He has killed everything. This poor woman has had her entire world ripped apart by someone whom she LOVED. His selfishness is evil. He KNEW how this would affect his ex! He did the wrong thing … and KNEW it would cause all this pain and anguish. He was much more sadistic than suicidal. WILLFULLY SADISTIC
I am sorry for your loss. I can relate. My wife, pregnant with what would have been our first child, died suddenly in an auto accident. She was just 27 years old and I was 30 at the time. I am 59 today and there is not a sun that has set since that I haven't thought of her and not a night that fell, crawling into my bed alone that I didn't long for her. I remember the way her hand felt in mine, the smell of her, they way she felt when we hugged and the way she made me feel being held by her. I remember how she lit up a room when she walked in, her infectious smile and contagious laughter. I remember how her long blonde curly hair disastrously turned into a fro at the first hints of humidity, lol. I remember she sometimes snorted when she laughed. But most of all, I remember how much she loved God and lived a life of selflessness. In all these years of hearing people say I had to move on and find love again, to that I say hogwash. I know what I'm worth and know what I deserve and it would be unfair of me to myself and any other woman because I could never fully give myself to knowing I will always be in love with the woman who awaits me in Heaven.
God BLESS you sir. I am excited for the reunion you will experience when that moment comes and Jesus calls you home or the moment Jesus is told to go and receive His Bride. They are watching and waiting for that moment.
That is truly one of the most beautiful things I've ever read! I'm sorry for your loss, she's with you in spirit though their never truly gone! I know it's not the same, I truly am sorry for your loss
I’m not sure why UA-cam recommended your video to me, but I stopped what I was doing and just stared at my phone and listened for 36 minutes and 5 seconds. Thank you for sharing your and Oria’s life with the world.
Me too, it's directed us all here for a reason, whatever that reason is, we're here x we're here together to try to support Rachael and for her baby girl Oria and for each other x ❤
Same here, it showed up on my recommendations and I felt compelled to hear every word. My heart aches for you and I’m sending lots of love and hugs to you. It is obvious you loved her deeply and were a wonderful mother to her. I’m so sorry this happened and I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling. I’m sure sharing her story was extremely difficult, but you’re keeping her memory alive and now she also lives in the hearts of lots of other people who have watched your video of her story. ♥️
Same here. I don't watch stuff like this usually because my mama heart just can not take it. But i felt completely compelled to listen to every word. I am so so very sorry, Rachael. Oria is loved by many & Oria will never be forgotten. I am praying for you. From one mama to another, I love you. 🫂 Thank you for sharing your story, I hope it helped even just a little bit to share it.🙏❤️🩹
This was the single most gut wrenching video I’ve ever watched. I have never cried so deeply for a total stranger. My heart is absolutely shattered for you and your baby girl lost.
I’m so sorry for your loss. A child isnt suppose to go before the parent. You seem strong, you’re going to be ok, but it’ll take a while. God bless you for putting this on utube…this is the start of your healing🙏🙏🙏
My heart is breaking 💔 for her. I found myself wanting to reach through the screen to hug her ❤ Prayers, love and healing to you and your family - Wendy
It’s so striking how, in the midst of telling this story of what I’m sure everybody on earth would agree is the worst thing anybody could ever go through, you were thinking about how horrible it must’ve been for the police officer. You took the time to write trigger warnings in your description. You’ve somehow managed to get to a place where you wish peace upon the man who did this to you. I’m absolutely in awe at what a selfless, incredible person you are. I have every faith that you will do your beautiful Oria so very proud.
I was thinking the same thing, but didn't know how to say it. Rachel is such an inspiration. I couldn't be more grateful to hear her story. Absolutely beautiful ❤️
May Jehovah God, the God of comfort lift you up my sister and strengthen you, until the day she is restored to you in the Paradise. Rev 21:4 “and He will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry, nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away”
I worked as a paramedic. I hope the medics that worked on your precious daughter are able to find peace. It's haunting some days. I hope you find peace and are able to smile and laugh again. I will remember your daughter always.
Idk if this helps any, but the people you saved will forever be grateful to you. I wish I could find the paramedics who took care of me (multiple GSW's) and just hug them. They were also comforting me because my loved one passed in my arms while I was attempting to keep him alive till the medics got there. I still live with survivors guilt from that. But THANK YOU for your work as a paramedic. Paramedics and EMS are the calm and safety in the middle of the worst storm of your life. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your service. ❤
I couldn't imagine having that job seeing stuff like this. It would affect me in the darkest ways possible in ways I couldn't imagine. I'm so grateful for that job but I wouldn't envy it for anything.
@@marcio2632-g5mI think you need to calm down. What you’ve said just now is very insensitive, I’m not very religious myself but you can’t just say that..
@@marcio2632-g5mthat's a hateful thing to say God is our only salvation I pray for you that you don't find out the hard way your life is in need of a Savior
In case anyone was curious if Ashley's driving got anyone else killed, it did not. It did leave the lorry driver traumatized and he has not driven since, not even his own car. Thank you for having the courage to share this story.
I hate when someone uses a truck driver as their way out of their own situation. We had a man step in front of a truck driver on the freeway. He was spread everywhere. I felt so awful for that truck driver. 😢
The first year is the hardest because of all the firsts you have to go through. You need to seek out a support group for grief. That's how I dealt with my baby brother's murder. I never became a mother, as hard as I tried. But I think my body knew that I could never go through that again. Yes, I feared that pain. But you know you will go on. Trust me, I hated every minute that went on without him. I thought, didn't the world feel something missing. Why are they going to work, like everything was ok. Because in my world it was not. I am 5 years older than Chris. He was my baby. I protected him, loved him. He was the best. He was 16 yrs old. Shock is what you were feeling. Shock shield you from the pain for a short while. It has been 50 yrs and I miss him everyday. Year 5 for some reason seems to be a tough one. It's like you cried grieved but year 5 is when I really felt the loss. I pray that God grants you peace. God bless. 😊
@matthewnewton8812 If you had God in your life, you'd realize he's everywhere... I pray you find him and don't leave comments like this in comment sections. ❤️🙏🏻❤️
@@matthewnewton8812God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent. He can hear everything, see everything, He knows everything. God can bless this woman just because someone ask for it. He can do anything. I pray He saves this poor lady's soul. This much pain is unbearable for anyone. No matter what you believe you should as least send positive vibes her way. To go through so much like this is horrific.
Rachael, my daughter was killed by her ex-husband when she was 30, in 2016. Her child survived. I know exactly what you mean about the first year; everything is exquisitely painful. The grief never goes away nor does it necessarily lessen, but after the first year it changes from acute into chronic and the loss becomes part of who you are. From there you rebuild. As you are now.
"...sat and held her hand, and it was still warm" That is quite literally the absolute worst thing I have ever heard in my 58 years. May you find some peace in this life.
I hope you feel mine and strangers hugs and strength. You're going to need it. You're right, there are no words we can say that will lessen this pain. You are allowed to take this time, feel the pain and slowly with help join life again. It will be a different future for you but you will get through it in Oria's name. She will help you through memories. ❤
Rest in peace Oria, I am so, so sorry for your loss. ❤❤❤ There aren’t words that can describe the pain you’ve been through, but the fact you had the bravery to speaks volumes about you as a human.
You are one of the bravest women I had the honor of being a part of for the last 30 minutes. I am crushed by your story but find joy that you have peace. Countless blessings to you until you meet your daughter again on the other side.
My heart breaks for the loss of your daughter! Be strong and have faith in God ! Your daughter is with you always! I am sure you see signs of her, she will not leave you ! God bless you !
I cannot imagine your pain but I hope, somehow, you can rebuild your life in time to remember and honour your precious daughter and fight on. I am sad and so angry you have been through this. 😢 I genuinely hope sharing your experience here helps you. It is brave and raw and you have my respect for doing it. ❤
My Husband was Hawaiian and Samoan, he was a Police Officer, he was murdered almost eight years ago. He will make sure Your Precious Little Angel is safe and will watch over her till you can be back together again. God bless you❤
I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. You just shared such a beautiful, selfless gift with her. This speaks volumes about who you are, and I am thankful the world has you. Lifting you up in prayer.
I am so sorry for your loss. No one deserves this. I have been deeply moved by your story. I pray in time you will be able to find some peace. You have a tough journey ahead. Bless you and your heart. Please hold onto life and lean on those close to you.
Oris is waiting to see you in heaven. I lost my son also and work everyday to make the world better (i now make glass flowers). I discovered that nowhere is home and my real home is heaven. Trust God and let him guide, protect and guide you until you will be together with all your loved ones in heaven. I know your pain.
Had to pause at 10:37 mins in.... Just to say... Your pain is felt through the screen. I am in canada.. . And although I havnt finished the video yet or found out what the police revealed fully... that I am sending you love and prayers and that I hope that God takes away your pain and heart ache and makes everything whole for you ❤
I am sorry honey. Come to my country costa rica . I d like to see you and take you to visit this paradise country. It really hurts me to hear your story
I lost my daughter to a drug overdose when she was 18. It’s been almost 25 years and still hurts. I feel your pain so sharply. I’m so sorry. So very sorry.
I, too, lost my young adult daughter to accidental pharmaceutical toxicity. Today, I heard the last song we sang together in the car. I'm so sorry for your loss. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Every breath you take is an act of pure courage. I divorced a violent man,and this was my constant fear. You are having to live that nightmare. I'm so damn sorry. Your story is powerful. Thank you for telling it.
Dear Rachael, You are a really strong woman just by having the courage to share your story. You have my ears, my heart and my love. RIP for your daughter Oria 🙏🏾
I was grumpy today, then I came across your video. Watching you immediately put my whole life into perspective. I will be immensely grateful for everything I have today. Thank you for sharing your story. RIP baby girl.
I know what you mean, I'm a mother to 5 and these last few days have been rough. This video... I couldn't imagine losing a single one of them. I felt her pain, it brought tears to my eyes, I will be content in my circumstances and grateful for each moment. I pray that I never have to know the pain of losing a child.
" I hope he's at peace and has found the love that he so rightly deserves" is not a sentence I would ever have expected to hear you say. I can imagine it's taken an incredible amount of work over the last 12 months to get there, but to possess that level of maturity, forgiveness, understanding and love is extraordinarily inspiring. I sincerely hope you always remember and have the strength to keep spreading your light, because your light has just had a profound impact on me. I'll be working on my compassion and understanding. Thank you, and I'm deeply sorry for your loss.
@@rinnitttyes, shadow is psychoanalyzing her, saying because she knew ashley's mental state that she then must have known he would harm the child. With shadow's thinking it would follow that victims of abuse are guilty for the acts of their abuser. Twisted.
@@lilli-bethI would love to hear YOUR story, the one in which you thought the unthinkable and saved the day. It’s so easy to sit on the sidelines watching tragedy unfold and talk a big game. Watch the news story or see something on the internet that are so many degrees separated from you and your life and make epic declarations about what should or should not have been done. In reality, life isn’t that damned black and white and usually the most righteous and judgmental people are the ones who have exacrly ZERO experience with the ugly grey area reality of situations like these. It takes a special type of cruelty for someone who would point out, to a grieving mother, that it was HER fault that someone else made a horrible and unimaginable decision that cost her her child. The guilt a parent feels when their child dies, accidental, homocide, suicide, cancer, doesn’t matter, can be detrimental and even deadly. Someday I hope you can feel what it’s like to have someone rub your face in the mud and pass judgement on YOU when they know a small fraction of details shared under extreme emotional distress to the point the details might not even be presented properly. Do you feel mighty? Stomping on people you don’t know from the safety of your home and anonymity of the internet? If you don’t like it, shut up and move on. You’re nothing but a bully and everyone knows that a bully does what they do in order to compensate for and hide insecurities over their own personal weaknesses and shortcomings. Only pathetic people force others down so they can raise themselves higher. Unreal.
Idk why UA-cam recommended me this. I have a toddler and listening to this made me hug her even tighter and just show her more and more love than I usually do. I hope this mom recovers from this and that she keeps strong and healthy. I pray my kid and everyone else’s kids are safe ❤️
To discover it had been planned, not a moment of insanity is devastating. Knowing, as he was sending her pictures, that they would be the last of her precious child. Unimaginable 💔
Like to brag he had the last moments with her... & clearly he had issues & she wasn't in the wrong to split with him. This is murder & this poor mum got exactly what he planned, complete devastation and misery...
He was a complete sicko who couldn't handle a breakup. He did all that because she got a new boyfriend. He could of killed himself but he had to kill her young daughter to cause her pain the rest of her life. What a sick twisted man.
I’m so sorry for you loss. As a retired police chaplain and a domestic violence counselor. He wanted to control you and taking the thing you love the most was his way to abuse you, to make you feel the pain he felt losing you and his inability to control his own feelings. You won’t get over this loss, but you will get thru it. Life is changed, different now for you and in some way people that hear you story. May you find a new life, a life impossible without experiencing the love of a child lost. Love is an intangible, yet we all know it’s life changing power. All that love is still here, now. Namaste
Was this guy the classic narcissist? He wasn’t just depressed. If he was, he would have put your daughter some place safe and then finished himself off. He succeeded in weaponizing a little toddler against you bc knew he was losing control of you. He was incapable of rational dialogue. This is the work of the Enemy. The light you have comes from God. Now is the time to turn to Jesus. I am happy for your soul to have found forgiveness in your heart because you will spare yourself the devastating effects of bitterness. He is a healer, the Shepherd of the lambs who choose to be born again and enter His fold.❤
@@radixdudetteAmen, Jesus is the only Way. She will see her baby again in heaven so there is tremendous hope when trusting in the Lord. It doesn’t have to be hopeless or the end. Nothing is hopeless with Jesus. God bless you and this poor woman who has been through hell on earth.
@@radixdudette i think he might have been. This was about control. He was prepared to take the life of an innocent child just so he could destroy the life of his ex. I see there are people judging the mum but this isn't about her, its about the choice to destroy an innocent life. That is just the most vile, disgusting and unforgivable thing anyone can do. I don't care how much you hate your ex or want to ruin them, a child is NEVER a pawn for that. My father was /is a narcissist and behaved terribly towards me and my sister not because we had done anything wrong but because he knew it was the best way to destroy our mum and manipulate her into submission.. This is the most extreme escalation of that , a suicidal narc is the most terrifying jugganaut of revenge and quite dangerous. My father is a terrible human but his need for self preservation means he has limits.
I know that sorrow. I found my daughter's body. There are no words in the world to describe the depths of this grief. I hope this was cathartic for you.
I'm so sorry you lost your daughter. I have 2 daughters and I'm not even able to imagine how it might feel to be in your shoes because it's too painful to think about. So the fact that you are living a reality that i can't even bare to imagine just breaks my heart. I know I'm a random stranger on the internet, but I am sending you all the love i can muster. I don't know if you believe that sort of thing, but I hope my love reaches you and embraces you. I really feel it, so i hope you can too.
My heart aches for you. I wish I had some pithy uplifting words to encourage you, but they seem insultingly hollow. All I can say is I have hope that there will be reunion, someday, and then nothing will part you again, in the world without end. This is my heartfelt prayer to the universe I need to believe has better things in mind for us. My best wishes to you for grace and happy moments to ease the interval until that joyful time.
I lost the love of my life three years ago under difficult cirumstances. The pain has been crushing. I felt utterly broken for at least a year. I cannot even begin to imagine the agony of losing a child in this way. Keep healing, Rachael. Keep spreading the light. Xxx
I think it just changed my life. How I do not know. I've been through tragedies and a hard life. It all made me who I am now but one malignant narcissist who took his life before I could bring up legal charges for things he had done to me and my family in just a few months of dating. He was so jealous that he would rudely stop me from praying 🤷🏻♀️ I'm trying to find peace but it's not easy especially with all the hate, judgement and wicked things going on and sick people in the world. With everything I've been dragged through and lost loved ones etc THIS story moved me tonight to be more open to let peace and tranquility back into my life. To take care of my mental health and health in general. THIS woman's story moved me tonight. I'm watching the funeral service for Oria as I write this message to you. These videos popped up in my suggestions and I wholeheartedly believe she was godsent, it was meant to be. 🙏🏼 God bless you 🙏🏼
I listened to every work you said and I cried with you. I can’t even comprehend, I don’t want to, but please know that I wish you so much peace and healing and love. Your strength through your pain is incredible. I can’t wait to see what you do next and I’ll be rooting for you all the way. Your girl would be so so proud of her mummy xxx
This pulled my heart strings. I lost my daughter Aug 25, 2023 almost a year ago..My heart grieves for this woman because there is absolutely nothing that is harder than loosing a child, especially this way. I know a lady that lost 3 children in a car accident... It's the most empty feeling there is. It never goes away. 😢😢...God bless you.
Same. A drunk driver hit the woman and she was also terribly injured. No parent should have to bury a child. Let alone three. Prayers to your friend. 🙏🏻
@@winterlite3243because Father God is the only one who can ease her pain. Her little girl is in Heaven waiting on her. Waiting in perfect peace. Waiting with Jesus and all our family and other children. She waits on her mother to finish growing up. I know these things because this is what the Lord told me about my babies in Heaven, since I miscarried them. These WORDS OF LIFE came from the Lord THE MAKER OF LIFE so He soothed my soul and depression left me. And, joy overwhelmed my heart. The LORD is Good and His mercy endures forever and ever.
Add me to this list. I have no words. It broke my heart to hear this story & I want to help - to reach out - to say we are here for you. But it seems so flat. No one knows your pain. You are in my prayers 🙏🏼
You may not hear Oria say "mummy" out loud any more... but when you close your eyes and think of her, you'll hear her beautiful voice and see her beautiful face... she is and will be with you always, in your heart and memories. 👼💖 I send you love for your healing, and hope for this next chapter in your life 💕💕
Your capacity for compassion and forgiveness is remarkable. Through your whole video I was just amazed at your empathy of those around you, even people you didn’t know, and how you worried about how they were feeling. And the fact that you could come to forgive the monster who murdered your daughter is unbelievable! Your heart is beautiful and your face is lovely. God has a special plan and future for a precious woman like you. I’m terribly sorry for your horrific loss and pray for your healing and peace. Let God use you and bless you. You have a unique perspective to help others. I pray you will get to be a mum again when you are ready. I will always remember your story and continue to keep you in my prayers.
My son put your video in my face. I just know he did. He passed less than 2 months ago. He’s been directing me and protecting me. I am so broken. As I know you are. But darling girl, I will tell you that you are shining light through sharing your painfully tragic story. Tears flowed for your pain and for my own. My son is trying to help heal me through your story. Continue to find your light, your purpose, yourself. One day I hope you can find joy as well. ❤
Thank you for being open to his communications because I can’t imagine how much effort he goes through to let you know he is okay. I wish I would have kept a journal of “signs” that were sent. My heart goes out to you and I’m so sorry that you lost your son. Thank you for posting your comment. It gives others hope. Sending virtual hugs. 🦋🦋🦋 You know deep down inside he’s okay, but your heart and mind are in shock right now. You should watch videos on YT about NDE (Near death experiences.) That helped me a lot. I’m here if you need me. 🙏🏼
God bless you. My great grandson was killed by 2 oilfield trucks. He was 6. We bury him tomorrow and are unable to view him because of the severe damage.
Family annihilation is a tragic phenomenon that needs to be discussed Very brave of this courageous survivor to share her heartbreaking story I hope it can help prevent any one considering such an horrendous hateful end to something that began with so much love.
Oh my god my heart is absolutely broken after watching your story and the pain that I’m feeling watching it. I can’t stop crying and the backs of my eyeballs hurt like a headache so I can only imagine the pain you’re going through. I’ve lost both of my brothers at a very young age but to be your baby girl and the man you once loved. Mental health is such a hard thing for people to wrap their heads around unless they’ve experienced it with someone in their family or themselves. I liked your video with such a heavy heart but I’ve done it because you made it possible with your words. I’m sending you an enormous virtual hug and I will follow your journey with you. You are such a strong young woman for making this video and you will obviously never feel the same again but you will have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and sharing this with the world and being so vulnerable. My thoughts will always be with you after watching this but who couldn’t. 😢❤
This video just popped up , my god, i can't even begin to tell you how much pain i felt for you watching this, only a mum could understand this pain, the father of my child also didnt accept the breakup of our relationship, and i can't even begin to tell you the fear i had of what he may do, im so sorry Rachael, just want to send you lots of love and hugs xx
I think I can safely say that everyone who watched this sobbed along with you as the story unfolded. I’m so, so sorry. I am amazed that you prayed for peace, healing, and love for Ashley after what he had done - that shows what an incredible soul you are. I am praying hard for the same for you. 🙏💖
So true are Your words. But if I was in Her shoes I just couldnt imagine my feelings. She will never be the same but hope Her Family will be thete to comfort and hold Her and Ashley close to Their 💔
You are such a forgiving woman. Not only are you working through your immeasurable grief, but you’re thinking of others while doing so. You are so strong and kind.
So sorry for not understanding how it works.......but to give Rose all my love and strength to get through. You're not alone, never so accept all the kindness and support from caring people that you don't even know. Just allow God's love to fill you and keep your memories close to you. I'm so sorry for you and your near ones. So much love
I am so so sorry for your loss! My heart hurts so much for you and as I listened to your story I tried to imagine what that must have felt like. I know you will see her again and have the chance to raise her. She will be with you all your life just waiting to see you! I pray the rest of your life will be peaceful and that you can someday, somehow, feel joy again
I was crushed by your video. For me, it was a reminder to not dwell on petty misfortunes, and appreciate the resiliance of those truly damaged. I take inspiration from you.
I lost my son too, also in a deliberate act. His name was Timothy. I got a similar phone call..the police were at my house...so when you described it I relived my drive all over again. Already knowing my life would never be the same once I arrived. Your descriptions of everything were all so similar to my story. I collapsed when the officer told me Timothy was gone. I remember vividly thinking that I wish whoever was screaming would shut up...and then I realized it was me. I cried with you through your whole video. I'm so sorry for your loss of both your daughter and her Dad and that you had to go through the traumatic experience with the press after. You'll be in my prayers ❤🙏
I love and think its so important you said "my daughters name IS Oria" and "her fathers name WAS Ashley" people may not understand why that wording is so important and powerful, but i do. You will always be her mother. Sending love and strength from Australia
I am so sorry for your pain, and if I could lessen it I would. May the angels wrap you in their love as they hold your daughter. Our bodies die, but We do Not die. Google NDE of Anita Moorjani. The cruelty of your ex-husband is unfathomable. Know that those of us who experienced similar are sending the warmth of our love in hope that it will at least ease your pain and grief, even if it is just a bit. I lost a daughter, Chelsea, on April 4, 1987. The sane day that she was born. My daughter in law, who is pregnant, called and told me her due date is April 4. Her name will be Emma or Emily. ❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🦋🦋
I am so so sorry for your loss. I could feel your pain through the screen, and i bawled my eyes out. Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking story, you are extremely brave. I don’t know how you’re doing now, but i want to tell you that it will all hurt less one day. Just know that you’re loved and things will be okay. Sending lots of love
I have never...never ever in my 58 years on earth felt someone else's pain so viscerally. Oh my heart 😞 Darling I am so, so sorry. Your precious girl. You will ALWAYS be her mummy and she will always be your daughter. I am subscribing.... I know you will make something of your life and Oria will be so proud. I'm sending you so much love and positive energy. ❤️
I’m just a kid… I can’t ever understand this pain that you feel… However, my heart goes out to you and all the other people who have had to experience such disastrous events. No one deserves such cruel things happen to them. I know for a fact that your daughter is looking down at you and supporting you through life because she loves you so much! There really isn’t much I can say, but as a child, I want you to know that you have a whole world here for you and that even though this pain will forever stay with you, it will eventually lock away and, while it may not heal, it will give you hope and positivity that everything in your future will get better. Know that your daughter is there for you every second of your life, taking care of you, loving you, and keeping you safe, because you are the most important thing to her and while she feels your pain, she wants you to be happy, she wants you to remember all the good memories and be proud of who you are and who you will become. So if you can’t heal for yourself, try doing it for her…and know that no matter what she will forever be there for you and LOVE YOU!!! 💚🩵💙 Consider this message faith… From a kid, to another kid, to the world, to you… She wants you to know she loves you!
I have done autopsies on probably somewhere close to a hundred children of various ages (I was a forensic pathologists assistant). I did my job with the greater care than I have done anything in my life for children. Adults I could handle, my mind justifying that they'd lived some life at least. I was still empathetic, but children are completely innocent in almost all circumstances. Those cases chipped away at me until I had a mental breakdown and couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how people spend their whole lives doing this sort of thing. Those who work with death are truly unsung hero's. This made me absolutely lose it. You and your family will forever be in my thoughts
❤ Having a breakdown is certainly not pleasant but it's your mind and body saying...I can't do this anymore ❤ There ain't nothing wrong with that. Take care of your soul. You have a good one ❤
i was thinking the exact same thing !!!!! i just don't know HOW people can do those types of jobs !!!!! first responders, or drs or MEs..... NOT when kids are involved !!!!! 💔💔
I also want to say that the fact that you felt so badly for the officer that guarded your baby girl after she died- shows what a caring and empathetic person you truly are. Your daughter is always with you. I know that doesn't help right now but i hope you feel her presence and see her in your dreams. I am not a religious person but my thoughts are with you and I truly hope for you to have more good days than bad.
❤don't you want to go to heaven....or burn in the Lake of Fire 🔥 for all eternity....ask Jesus into your heart today, He's the only way to heaven, now I've told you, it's up to you to make the choice...Jesus or Satan...there is no in-between...just believe that Jesus died as payment for your sin and was buried and rose from the dead and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior ❤
@@lovesJesus448there is a time and a place and as a Reverend i can advise you neither of those is right now. Please try to have some common decency and respect instead of copying and pasting generic unrelated comments everywhere
Your story made me nauseous because I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I watched every second of you telling your story and felt your pain every time you cried. I’m praying for your healing and for you to be reunited with Oria in whatever comes after this lifetime, whether it’s heaven or reincarnation or simply waking up from a really bad dream. Stay strong and live the life that you wished for Oria. My heart and prayers are with you ❤️🌸
Dear sweet Racheal, as a Mum who has lost a child in difficult circumstances ..aand to the others who have commented I send you my loving wishes and comfort on your next journey and one day we will meet our darlings again in joy . Much love xx
UA-cam just recommended this video to me. I sat here crying the entire time with my 2 daughters, age 1 & 2. I was just begging their father to drive us to the store because he had promised he would. He just got back from a 12 hour shift and he's extremely tired. I was being so selfish because I wanted to go shopping... I'm happy I still have my family.. I see now that I was taking it for granted... I'm not bothering him.. I'm letting him get his sleep so we can get there safely.
You are INCREDIBLY STRONG! My hearts breaks because of this. I’m soo deeply sorry that you have to go through this. You are a wonderful lady and I’m sure you’ll have the opportunity to be a mommy again. Things will align for you again. All the best! ❤️❤️
The fact that this amazing mother makes comments several times about how bad she felt for others who were involved in this tradedy speaks volumes for the kind person she is inside. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you go thru. I pray for your comfort and peace, although I know it escapes you. 😢❤😢❤😢❤
Right?! The way she wept for the police officer who likely deals with this regularly made me cry even more for her💔😔 Just watching her(a complete stranger) talk about this is causing me physical pain right now, my heart literally hurts, and my stomach is in knots...I cannot even BEGIN to fathom how she felt when it happened, recording/posting this, and every day since. I truly don't know if I could go on, and she's so strong for choosing to every day. I really hope that this video(or anything else) gave her some sense of closure and I'm glad she recorded it so that she never has to speak these words again if she doesn't want to but wants somebody to know or understand. I wish her so much healing, peace, support, love, and comfort. And if she wants to, I really hope she has the chance to have more children and a family again, not that it will ever lessen her grief, but just add so much more love and heal parts of her broken heart. On the other hand, I wonder if losing a child makes some women just never want to even risk potentially having to go through it again😔 On a semi-related note, my grandma(in-law) lives with us now, and there are a lot of great, active people her age in our neighborhood and community. But, because she's lost SO many loved ones, she refuses to make friends bc she just can't bear even 1 more loss. She was orphaned as it was, and then lost her brother when she was 5. Then she lost multiple friends, 2 husbands, both her children and her step children, her God child, a neice and 2 nephews. She's 76 and was very stong and healthy while working/socializing, but she's been deteriorating ever since she moved here(where she knows nobody, 2.5 years ago) and just refuses to meet people or have friends. It's tragic, and sometimes I catch her just holding jewelry, pictures or staring at the night sky while crying and it breaks my heart knowing how much pain she's in 24/7. I can tell she's really starting to want to go "home"💔😔
I feel your pain. My 18 yr old son was killed in a car accident 16 years ago, my then oldest surviving son was 26 when he was a pedestrian killed by a driver high on fentanyl, 6 years ago. My mother passed away the day we buried him. Ive managed to go on in life and am at the point i can function, but i remember that moment when my first son passed 16 yrs ago, "i will truly never be happy again, for the rest of my life". In those years since, i remember my boys with a smile in my heart when i think of them & i try to do that as often as possible, more so than the times i still break down & cry. I wish you peace and strength on your journey...
Oh my heart breaks for you. What an incredibly strong woman you are. I know you are spreading the light and love enough for all three of you. God bless you ❤
Im so terribly sorry and I know there’s nothing I can say to take the pain away. You give me hope to live if anything happened to my two boys. When my husband died (military fighter pilot) I was 3.5 months pregnant. I understood how people died from grief. It was so deep…and lasts forever. And that’s not the death of a child, let alone two. But here you are, giving complete strangers hope to go on, to live one more day….because you have…and I thank you for that. Sending huge virtual hugs. 🦋🦋🦋
We must trust God, I won't give you my story, pain is it's own story, we can only trust God threw our screams we can only trust God, peace will find you
I really cannot imagine what you had to go through. My deepest sympathy! I hope you can find calmness of the soul and even some happiness in your life. I wish you the very best!
I’m just a 13 year old guy. but I want to say I’m very proud of you, and I hope you have a great life, may Oria and Ashley rest in peace. I’m very sorry for all the pain you’ve been through, and I hope it gets better, thank you for sharing oria and Ashley’s story.
Don't call it "keep on fighting" call it "keep on living". ❤ Your story is a message of life. I lost my sister 26 years ago in a car crash. My mother is 82, and she keeps on living. You are not alone in your experience and you never will be. ❤
This is truly encouraging. I also lost my sister suddenly last year December. I miss her terribly, some days are harder than others. My parents are having a hard time at the moment. I do pray for better days.
I’m so deeply sorry for your loss.I cannot even imagine how much anxiety and pain you felt.I hope that your daughter and Ashley will be safe in heaven.Im so sorry for your loss.Sending condolences to you.
I believe videos like yours that randomly pop up in the algorithm is somehow the energy of the ones who have passed bringing love and comfort to those that are left behind. You are not alone in this world or your grief, we were all brought here to bring you support from around the world. Let your tears flow. Let your pain out. You are not alone
Brave Mom. You will see Oria again one day. Our stories parallel, I lost my daughter at 6 months in a similar way. Grief is hard, nobody can tell you when or where you may find relief. It’s been over 30 years for me, and I can’t finally talk about her without crying. I’m grateful to say, my miracle baby arrived many years later, and my world has healed. I pray yours will, too.
My fiancé passed away in May, in a motorcycle accident. Your story gave me so many flashbacks of how I found out, and the times. It made me absolutely sick to my stomach, I still feel it some days. He left our daughter & I behind. I am so incredibly sorry, I could never imagine losing my baby. Thinking of you, mama ❤ The hardest times are the most unexpected.
Its horrible and i undestand perfectly you, my husband died january 2023, we found him in the bed our daugther 2 years old and me. He was not sick. Heart stop. Sorry for words, im french ...
You have much more grace than I. I wouldn't care about his peace, ever. He HAD love. His daughter loved him. Pure and true love. He was a selfish bastard. He didn't care about your peace or her happiness. He wanted to inflict pain and be vengeful. What an awful person. I'm sure you needed to forgive and find your own peace, and I hope you can continue to heal. I just hear a lot of these stories if men killing their own children to hurt their mothers and it makes me so angry. I just can't see them as anything except evil
I read up on this and in his letter he said "there was a sense of relief and calm knowing the end of life was near' and he was 'going to be with my daughter.” - I sincerely hope that guy is in hell where he belongs and got a rude awakening upon arriving that he will forever be separated from her. I will continue praying that this woman is like job in the bible where everything was taken from him by evil and God gave job back twice what he had before. I'm impressed that she's forgiven him but only bc that's the healthiest thing for her, but he doesn't deserve it. Biblical forgiveness does not mean what someone did to you is ok, it just means you aren't going to let it affect you any longer. She's honestly being too nice to him.
@IWriteEssaysSorry so fvcking sick. He _was_ with his daughter. Her mother did not keep the baby from him. Did he think that baby didn't want to be with her mommy? No. He wasn't thinking about her. He didn't care about "being with" her. He cared about controlling her mom, and when he couldn't do that, he just wanted to inflict pain. I despise people who use children to hurt the other parent.
You are definitely making Oria proud ❤Following your journey from here to see how you achieve everything you desire . I am sorry for all the turbulent of emotions you are going through . I will be praying for you and so will so many of this amazing audience you have . Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us . Love you ❤❤❤
I lost my baby too. We had just found out her gender. Me and my abusive ex got into an argument and I ended up getting out of his car and was going to walk home. I slammed the door. He didn’t say anything he just sped off and I kept walking. He came back around and hit me with his car. I think I flew like 15 feet. I was on the ground. It was a blur. He got out of his car and came up over me and said “that’s what you get for slamming my door”. I begged him to take me to the hospital. I wasn’t even worried about me. I was worried about the baby. My baby. My baby girl. He dropped me off at the hospital. And left me there. He’s a police officer. He used to threaten to unalive me all the time when we got into arguments and fights. I was scared of him. And I knew if I said something he’d unalive me along with my baby girl and get away with it because he’s one of THOSE corrupt police officers. I left him after that publicly saying that the abuse “stressed me out” into having a miscarriage … I posted that on socials. He started lying in the comments saying I aborted his child without his consent. So on top on me grieving my baby being gone, I had to deal with his lies and family and friends sending me dêǎth threats. I never got to meet my baby girl the way you had with your baby girl. But I do feel like I feel your pain in a way. I am so sorry for your loss. I am so so so sorry.
I am sorry for the trauma and abuse you are going through it seems I am hearing more about abuse from police within their marriage Abuse is ugly and painful from those who (supposedly) love you 😢😔😢
I am so sorry for all the abuse you've suffered as well as the loss of your baby. No one deserves that and then to have lies spread to demean you and have your life threatened. I'm praying that you heal mentally and physically and that your life will be full of love,laughter and all the joy your heart can hold.❤❤❤❤
I'm so very sorry for your loss and what you've been through. I'm glad to know though I'm not the only one who had been married to a cop that was abusive and threatened to end me if we got into fights. He tried to forcibly get me pregnant and I did my best to make sure I didn't as I knew my life and the kids life would be hell if we were attached to him. This comment is the first time I've publicly spoken out about it because of your story. Much love to you and your heart mamas. Your baby girl is with you always. ❤
The strength that this mother has only one year after her whole world collapsed is just amazing. I couldn't imagine losing a child this way, and definitely would not be near as strong as she is. Our thoughts and prayers are with her and her family. My God hold their hands and guide them through this difficult journey.
I stumbled upon this while trying to distract myself from thinking about how I miss and want my son back, so badly, but agonize over the last ten years after losing him. I know that he wanted me to see this and even though it doesnt take my pain away, your amazing selflessness makes me a little stronger. God bless you sweetheart, your little Oria and all those who love her still.
Sending lots of love, prayers, and healing. My chest feels so heavy hearing your story. I am so so sorry. I will be praying for you and the little angel’s soul. The world and its ways are so unfair and cruel. I am so sorry 🙏🏻
May we who’ve witnessed your retelling of events help lift this pain off of your shoulders. This grief is much too heavy a burden for one. Bless you 🙏🏻
That he could do that deliberately is beyond horrific. To take your sweet baby girl’s life to what end? To spite you? I’m so angry but so filled with sorrow at the same time. I can’t properly express how sorry I am for your loss. I’m heartbroken.
I think it's more complicated than spite. Somebody suffering with mental illness, is just that. Mentally ill. You can't see it like a lost limb. But mental health can deteriorate to the point it kills you. It's a horrifically tragic situation. One that that will be exponentially more involved than simple spite xx
No it's because the person who commits suicide is so in pain themselves they can't even put it into words and they don't know how because they were not allowed to experience emotions or Express themselves and they were so stifled and destroyed in their own childhood, everyone carries their childhood stuff into adulthood without knowing they're doing it. And they're running on those subconscious programs. They want to offload their pain into another and they want someone else to connect with them and feel that level of pain that they think is so deep. The people that I know have committed suicide really do just want to get back to source energy, to creator, to the light...... so that they don't have to feel pain. And perhaps, since children are high vibrational light beings, just as animals are which is why animals and children connect so well... there are those who cannot be around children because they are authentic and transparent, and then there are those who want to engulf them, similar to the movie poltergeist. Suck their energy, so to speak. People are not thinking and coming from the headspace when they're in a lot of pain in their lives, they're running on programs that are programmed within the body for survival, to navigate and survive each day, even if they're not actually experiencing the same situation that they did in childhood, because they cannot see things with clarity, because of the childhood trauma and emotional neglect and abuse. You must always dig deep into someone else's childhood but we must always dig deep first into our own, and introspect and do our healing, in order to bring a healthy child into the world..... however most people's childhoods are traumatic, even if it is a parent that wasn't fully present, animated and engaged and encouraging and supportive, honoring and cherishing the child and setting them up for success, Uno's parents do their children such damage if they don't create their own joy and happiness in their own lives within themselves first..... so they're not draining and sucking from the children... and trauma abuse and neglect is often covert and families, parents especially😢 put on a show for the outside world. And then people minimize their trauma and neglect because they think it's no longer occurring in the physical world, but yet it has impacted them in so many subconscious ways, they cannot even imagine😢
@@jenifernadeau wow, you wrote all that bs to excuse a disgusting family annihilator who was jealous and insecure at the thought of his ex moving on and that another man might be involved in his daughters life. Gross.
Somehow I found your video and felt the same way as the other nice souls wrote above that I couldn't leave you behind while you were so brave to share your feelings and the painful memories with us. I am a single mom, my boy means the world to me. I cried with you and I am hugging you virtually. I am in Hungary, would love to have you here as my guest if you ever want to visit Hungary! Sending you so much love, you are one brave soul and your beautiful daughter is proud of you! ❤
I met a woman whose ex-husband did the same thing to his ex-wife, but in a different manner. He set the house afire after he shot their daughter, then he killed himself and the house burned down around them. I can’t imagine the pain you and this woman feel. I’d scream until I couldn’t scream any longer, until I collapsed. When I feel extreme intractable pain mixed with rage and innumerable other emotions, I pace and walk and can’t stop moving, just can’t stop. I cry until I can’t breathe and fall asleep from utter exhaustion waking a few hours later only to do it all over again. Please be around good friends and family even if you don’t feel like it. Force yourself. You have to. It will be difficult, but you must. It will get easier if you let it. I don’t know what the right words are. I just know pain and what I had to do to heal. I have only my experience to draw from. You’ve taken a huge first step by setting aside your anger with Ashley. Anger is all consuming and takes far too much energy. It’s better to forgive. You appear to be a very strong person. The words you speak would make me believe you are.
@@cynthiaamitrano8915I found it difficult to eat after the death of my dad. My boss took me to lunch one day and it helped so much. We must eat, and eat decently. We need the vitamins and protein, etc. And yes, if you don't want to visit with people, be among people such as a coffee shop or grocery store. Say hello to people there. Also the lights are bright at grocery stores and that helps. When I had severe depression, I was not functioning well. Had a hard time preparing food (grateful for people who brought meals). I kept the curtains closed. The darkness and isolation did not help the worries and depression so I was hospitalized to be safe and get on medicine which helped. I thankfully was able to return to work. Sometimes women, after their husband dies, don't cook dinner anymore. They have lost their role. Sometimes don't think enough of themselves to eat a real meal.
I'd react the same way. Cry copiously, walk, run non-stop aimlessly until I fell on the floor, exhausted. Just to repeat it when I woke up. This planet is a mystery. A cruel and unfair mystery.
Oh my darling. You took me right back to the day my son passed away in a house fire, he was 3. I felt every emotion with you. Some of the last pictures I have of my son are in Skegness, having a great time, he didn't want to come home. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Jesus saved me or I'd never have made it through. He was my only child. It's his birthday next week and it's so hard. Thankyou for sharing your story and precious Oria with us. Rest in peace sweetheart. I'm praying for you Hun. God bless you ❤❤
So sorry for your loss, this is such a hard time for you, I can only imagine. I do hope you celebrate your son's birthday. I am sure he is with you every step of the way! Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story too.
Rachael, yours is one of the saddest stories I've heard. I can't imagine what it feels like to lose a child. You and your family are in my prayers with the hope that God wraps you in His arms while you grieve. Having worked in a hospital emergency room, I have had to bear witness when a parent is told their child is not coming home and it's always heartbreaking. I've sat with many a mother, held her hand, wiped her tears and held them. I know you will keep Oria alive in your heart and I can promise you, one day you'll see her again. Do what you need to do to care for yourself. When I've lost a loved one, therapy helped. While that will never take the pain away, it will help you find your way out of the darkness of grief. Make a positive memorial for her life like a foundation or even plant a memory garden. I know you'll visit her grave often, but if you have a personal memorial to her, you can bring the joy of who your daughter was into the light and have something beautiful for everyone to remember her. God bless you and as I stated, I'll be praying for you.
Not only did you lose a child but you lost that child at the hands of someone that you loved. I have no words that can measure your sorrow so just know I’m so sorry ❤
I used to work in DV and I've seen and heard all kinds of horrific violence, but nothing compares to murdering the child or loved one of the ex partner. It is the cruelest act of violence and control. You are an incredible person to commit to living and surviving and finding new ways to be in this world. You and Oria did not deserve this. ❤
You can survive this. My daughter was shot and killed on April 10th, 2022. I didn't think I could survive the absolutely soul crushing agony that followed. The pain never goes away, but eventually, you adjust, and you expand to accommodate the grief and loss. One day, you realize you are feeling something lighter, something less than the constant pain and loss. You start to have periods throughout your day that you could even call happy. The loss and pain are always in the background, but other, lighter emotions will come back eventually, as well. When that starts to happen, let it. Life goes on, even though it seems like everything ends or should end with loss like this. It's no betrayal to your lovely, precious girl to live and love again after her loss. You honor her memory by living the best life you can and keeping her alive in your memory and the memories of those that can also find joy in them. It takes time, and that's ok too, it takes as long as it takes. There are no rules or standards to follow. Each person surviving such loss has their own journey on the road to rejoin the world of the living, after. It is intensely personal and unique to the individual. I wish you all the healing and peace possible in your journey back. With Love, Peace, and Hope, a fellow traveler.
Well said, my dear; well said. You have my deepest sympathies on the tragic taking of your precious daughter. Much love to you from another fellow traveler.❤🩹
Our pastor and his wife lost their third child well over 10 years ago and the grief still lives with them; one statement I remember they made is that you will never lose the need at times to go into your closet to cry out your grief. Do not punish yourself for giving in to that grief for the moment, but know that you cannot remain in the closet because you still have your life to live.
What a wonderful comment. I too lost a daughter. It is a pain like no other. She was on life support and it was not helping her at all. I don't know if I'm lucky or cursed but I was holding on to my sweet girl when she took her last breath. The doctor came to check her and I screamed at him "She's gone. Leave her alone". He was just doing his job but I was filled with anger. That anger turned to rage. My marriage fell apart. But we have another daughter and I had to go on for her. The pain never ever goes away but we learn to deal. Every milestone my daughter reached I secretly thought your sister would be doing this. Yet we move forward. And we learn to laugh. We learn to love. We learn to live again, even though it is a different life. Thanks for your kind words. I wish peace for you, peace for this woman as well as a more positive future. God bless you all❤
@mesalily-TeHWoRld what an incredible woman you are, you had the strength and fortitude to do what was best for her, and free her from her broken body. Thank you, Mama, for that, so much Peace and Love to you.
And this is honestly the first time I have not been able to turn a video off early…your words are truly a gift and I completely appreciate you for them❤
A friend of mine lost her husband and 4 yo daughter in a horrific car accident. Foolish driver hit hem. They passed on impact. It was so hard on her and hard for us that loved them. Im so sorry..no parent should lose a child. 🙏
No mother should have to bury their child. UA-cam actually recommended this while I'm feeling particularly hopeless about my situation in life and it's a much a needed reminder that I'd never want to put my own mother through that, no matter how hard things have gotten for me. I'm so sorry your daughter never had a choice. So I know this was extremely hard for you to talk about and subtitle and upload, but thank you so much for doing so. You are helping people in so many ways and deserve only good things and kindness.
It's been one month since you left this comment..I hope you are doing/feeling better🩷 I haven't replied to any other comments but I wanted you to know you aren't alone.. You are loved..You are special..You would be greatly missed, especially by your mother..Coming from a mother of 2 daughters..I feel your pain and hope this makes you feel loved, even if its just by a stranger..We will get through this 🩷 ;
So Sorry that you lost your precious child in such a horrific way. The pain will get better but it will never go away. I lost my son 10 yrs ago and it still hurts so much. I pray that you continue to heal so that you can have a life again and maybe even be happy. God bless you.
losing a husband, wife, parents is painful, but losing a child..there are no words to compare or explain. the pain is so great..the soul disintegrates, it tears you apart..i never imagined that the soul could tremble, that it could physically hurt. i always ask my son to appear in my dreams so that i can hold him in my arms, tight, to ease my longing for him.
@@graceg3250 - have you lost children? i lost... so i speak from personal experience. everyone is an online expert and a psychologist to others. take care of your life and stop making baseless remarks.
Omgosh sweet angel… this was by far the most profound and humbling video I’ve ever had the honor of watching. Thank you for taking the time to share something so personal with us. I cried with you. Such a painful experience you’ve been through and yet you are honoring your daughter and pushing on. It’s changing lives. May God give you the peace you so desperately deserve. ❤️🩹
“People think that grief slowly gets smaller with time. In reality, grief stays the same size. But slowly life begins to grow bigger around it” - Dr Lois Tonkin
Thank you for sharing this.
That’s the truth.
I felt this. My husband passed away at 37. 10 years later and I cry every day
Very true, you never forget or heal completely but learn how to live around it.
Best explaination I ever heard was by a hospice nurse, grief is a giant red button that sits inside a box and that box is your everyday life. Whenever someone passes away, the box surrounding the button is very small and the button takes up a majority of the space inside. And every time that button gets pushed it causes a physical pain like an electrical shock. And someone releases a bouncy ball inside the box and shuts the door. So it bounces off the walls and hits that pain button a lot. But over time the box surrounding said pain button gets larger. The button never gets smaller, it is always the same size. The pain felt when the button pushes never diminishes, it feels the exact same level of pain that you felt the first time it was pushed. As you go through life and the box gets bigger the button gets hit by the bouncy ball less and less. But when it does, it is all consuming agony. It never gets less and the button never gets smaller. The worst part, you can’t see the bouncy ball, you have no warning when it’s going to hit the button. You simply just live your life, hoping beyond hope that the button doesn’t get hit by the bouncy ball. But you know it will eventually. Sometimes it happens backed to back and you have to deal with another shock of pain before you have recovered from the last hit. And then sometimes it doesn’t get hit for a long time but when it does, it still brings you to your knees just like the first time.” I hope that I explained that correctly.
The fact that you considered the feelings of the female officer that had to be in the room with your deceased child, even in the midst of your own grief, says a lot about your character. God bless you and I am saddened by your loss.
I was really struck by that too. And the grief her mother had to go through in identifying her daughter. Empathy like this is truly a rare gift and you shine even though it is so terribly difficult right now. You don’t need anything more than yourself to give. That is MORE than enough! I believe you are just what this world needs right now. I’m so sorry for your tremendous loss. Never give up.
I am so very sorry your beloved daughter is missing from you . As well as the man that you had loved as a husband and father- though you were seperated it had to be such a horrible blow.😢😢😢😢
I thought that to😢
Yes, it's a true testament to one's character and their remarkable kindness to not only think about a total stranger's feelings but to genuinely consider them in a moment when selfishness would be entirely warranted and expected.
That is exactly I thought when she said that.
I'm not sure why UA-cam recommended this video to me, but I don't believe in coincidences. I'm honored to have held space with you for 36 minutes while you told us your story. You, your family, and Ashley's family will be in my prayers. I simply cannot imagine that kind of crushing grief you all are going through.
No such thing as coincidences in life. My heart hurts about this whole video. I lost my niece in a car accident and I was talking about it today..... before I was recommended this video. AI and algorithm is CRAZY! They always listening (our phones) 😢
Same here. Sometimes the algorithm shows me just what I need to see and hear. 💔
@@jondra1693Your phone is always listening…
The same scenario for me. So much love in us 🙏🏼💕💖
i,m so so sorry gir your loss, I eish the best in the whole workd for you your family, love from denmark
Hi. I don't know why I clicked on your video, but once it started I felt like it would be disrespectful to stop. Your loss is unimaginable. I wept with you, but I don't know that I could forgive the way you have. Your strength is inspiring. I will, when I'm brave enough I will watch. No matter what I wish you the best, I hope you find light and I know you will share it. ❤
THIS 100%!!!! I always have what seems like a 100 tabs open on 6 browser windows on 3 screens, and I had this open from another time and had left it open after last video I watched. This one was part of the collage of suggested views at that end. Once I clicked on it, I was frozen....did nothing with all the open tabs, didn't interact with them in the slightest other than visually seeing them open. I cried A LOT (quietly, that's just how I do it usually). Back to being younger and quietly standing back behind my parents and sniffling at Hallmark movies or whatever it was then. I try not be seen or noticed crying. I was frozen watching this. I watch a lot of Honor Walks, it's like I'm a sucker for punishment. I don't know why I hurt and cry as if I was the one who lost something. Maybe it stems from my own losses, people & animals etc. While I know I've said a lot, I don't know what to say to you at all. Could sit here for an hour and try and think of something other than the only line so many of us can use....."Sorry for your loss". That was deep.....Even "Thanks for sharing" doesn't seem right to say.....Not exactly a lyrically deep song, but maybe me cue up Natalie Merchant song "Life is Sweet".
This is exactly how I felt. The thought of not watching it through felt so disrespectful. Hearing it alone makes my stomach turn so can’t imagine explaining it and living it. She’s so strong and I feel so bad she had to go through this. I hope it gets better for her as time goes on. She deserves peace and happiness 🙏🏾
i know i just could not put not one of my fingers on my mouse i just know what people go through and what i go through so i just could not leave
I will never understand why a suicidal parent takes their child with them. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.
To hurt the xspouse deepest pain ever, so sorry 😞 😢😮
Satanic
They probably weren't in their right mind at all. The lady is at peace with it now, doesn't take away what's happened but yeah 😢
A monster
He was a deliberately HOMICIDAL person. He has killed everything. This poor woman has had her entire world ripped apart by someone whom she LOVED. His selfishness is evil.
He KNEW how this would affect his ex! He did the wrong thing … and KNEW it would cause all this pain and anguish. He was much more sadistic than suicidal.
WILLFULLY SADISTIC
I am sorry for your loss. I can relate. My wife, pregnant with what would have been our first child, died suddenly in an auto accident. She was just 27 years old and I was 30 at the time. I am 59 today and there is not a sun that has set since that I haven't thought of her and not a night that fell, crawling into my bed alone that I didn't long for her. I remember the way her hand felt in mine, the smell of her, they way she felt when we hugged and the way she made me feel being held by her. I remember how she lit up a room when she walked in, her infectious smile and contagious laughter. I remember how her long blonde curly hair disastrously turned into a fro at the first hints of humidity, lol. I remember she sometimes snorted when she laughed. But most of all, I remember how much she loved God and lived a life of selflessness. In all these years of hearing people say I had to move on and find love again, to that I say hogwash. I know what I'm worth and know what I deserve and it would be unfair of me to myself and any other woman because I could never fully give myself to knowing I will always be in love with the woman who awaits me in Heaven.
God BLESS you sir. I am excited for the reunion you will experience when that moment comes and Jesus calls you home or the moment Jesus is told to go and receive His Bride. They are watching and waiting for that moment.
I'm sorry. That was beautiful.❤
What an amazing man ❤
That is truly one of the most beautiful things I've ever read! I'm sorry for your loss, she's with you in spirit though their never truly gone! I know it's not the same, I truly am sorry for your loss
😭😭😭 man im crying, God bless you and your beautiful wife and unborn child. ❤
I’m not sure why UA-cam recommended your video to me, but I stopped what I was doing and just stared at my phone and listened for 36 minutes and 5 seconds. Thank you for sharing your and Oria’s life with the world.
Me too, it's directed us all here for a reason, whatever that reason is, we're here x we're here together to try to support Rachael and for her baby girl Oria and for each other x ❤
Same here, it showed up on my recommendations and I felt compelled to hear every word. My heart aches for you and I’m sending lots of love and hugs to you. It is obvious you loved her deeply and were a wonderful mother to her. I’m so sorry this happened and I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling. I’m sure sharing her story was extremely difficult, but you’re keeping her memory alive and now she also lives in the hearts of lots of other people who have watched your video of her story. ♥️
Same here. I don't watch stuff like this usually because my mama heart just can not take it. But i felt completely compelled to listen to every word. I am so so very sorry, Rachael. Oria is loved by many & Oria will never be forgotten. I am praying for you. From one mama to another, I love you. 🫂 Thank you for sharing your story, I hope it helped even just a little bit to share it.🙏❤️🩹
@@PBJ22525 same.
Same. This is gut wrenching. I have four girls. 💔
作为2个年幼女儿的妈妈，我无法控制我的眼泪，你的每一句话都是让当妈妈能感受到那种疼痛，我知道任何言语都无法疗愈你的伤痛，但是希望你往后余生也要坚强，和Oria宝贝迟早会在天堂相见。
Dear Heavenly Father please wrap this mum in your warm embrace and heal her broken heart. She has endured pain that no parent should ever experience.
💔😞. 🙏🏻🕊️
Yes! Amen 🙏🏼💔
Was praying the same. Amen❣️
🙏 Amen
Amen.
This was the single most gut wrenching video I’ve ever watched. I have never cried so deeply for a total stranger. My heart is absolutely shattered for you and your baby girl lost.
I’m so sorry for your loss. A child isnt suppose to go before the parent. You seem strong, you’re going to be ok, but it’ll take a while. God bless you for putting this on utube…this is the start of your healing🙏🙏🙏
Exactly and we can all be here for her always..I feel ao deeply saddened for Rachael. Alls i want to do is go hold her.😢😢😢😢
Me too❣️
My heart is breaking 💔 for her. I found myself wanting to reach through the screen to hug her ❤ Prayers, love and healing to you and your family - Wendy
I feel the same way, just wish i could hug her! So sorry!@@nicholreed7008
It’s so striking how, in the midst of telling this story of what I’m sure everybody on earth would agree is the worst thing anybody could ever go through, you were thinking about how horrible it must’ve been for the police officer. You took the time to write trigger warnings in your description. You’ve somehow managed to get to a place where you wish peace upon the man who did this to you. I’m absolutely in awe at what a selfless, incredible person you are. I have every faith that you will do your beautiful Oria so very proud.
Beautifully said. ❤️
I was thinking the same thing, but didn't know how to say it. Rachel is such an inspiration. I couldn't be more grateful to hear her story. Absolutely beautiful ❤️
She is inspiring.
I agree
That’s what hit me, too. Such a beautiful soul, just like her Oria.
May Jehovah God, the God of comfort lift you up my sister and strengthen you, until the day she is restored to you in the Paradise.
Rev 21:4 “and He will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry, nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away”
Tnks a lot 🙏🙏🙏… brother/sister
she will be resurrected in paradise ❤️
I worked as a paramedic. I hope the medics that worked on your precious daughter are able to find peace. It's haunting some days. I hope you find peace and are able to smile and laugh again. I will remember your daughter always.
Idk if this helps any, but the people you saved will forever be grateful to you. I wish I could find the paramedics who took care of me (multiple GSW's) and just hug them. They were also comforting me because my loved one passed in my arms while I was attempting to keep him alive till the medics got there. I still live with survivors guilt from that. But THANK YOU for your work as a paramedic. Paramedics and EMS are the calm and safety in the middle of the worst storm of your life. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your service. ❤
I cannot imagine the heartache & trauma first responders endure for the people they help! We forget about this
❤😢
I couldn't imagine having that job seeing stuff like this. It would affect me in the darkest ways possible in ways I couldn't imagine. I'm so grateful for that job but I wouldn't envy it for anything.
Thank you for your service!
I’m a 64 year old man. I hadn’t cried for years until I watched this video. You’re definitely in my prayers tonight.
It's impossible not to cry, after hearing such a heartbreaking story 😔
Oh you poor darling may God wrap his arms around you and heal you, I am in tears 😢 💔🙏🙏🙏
@@marcio2632-g5mI think you need to calm down. What you’ve said just now is very insensitive, I’m not very religious myself but you can’t just say that..
@@goofyrat2938 you are right. my bad...
@@marcio2632-g5mthat's a hateful thing to say God is our only salvation I pray for you that you don't find out the hard way your life is in need of a Savior
In case anyone was curious if Ashley's driving got anyone else killed, it did not. It did leave the lorry driver traumatized and he has not driven since, not even his own car. Thank you for having the courage to share this story.
I was thinking that poor lorry driver, traumatic and destroyed his life too, 🙏💕
I hate when someone uses a truck driver as their way out of their own situation. We had a man step in front of a truck driver on the freeway. He was spread everywhere. I felt so awful for that truck driver. 😢
The first year is the hardest because of all the firsts you have to go through. You need to seek out a support group for grief. That's how I dealt with my baby brother's murder. I never became a mother, as hard as I tried. But I think my body knew that I could never go through that again. Yes, I feared that pain. But you know you will go on. Trust me, I hated every minute that went on without him. I thought, didn't the world feel something missing. Why are they going to work, like everything was ok. Because in my world it was not. I am 5 years older than Chris. He was my baby. I protected him, loved him. He was the best. He was 16 yrs old. Shock is what you were feeling. Shock shield you from the pain for a short while. It has been 50 yrs and I miss him everyday. Year 5 for some reason seems to be a tough one. It's like you cried grieved but year 5 is when I really felt the loss. I pray that God grants you peace. God bless. 😊
@ much love and care to you Jean, my heart was impacted by you sharing, God bless you my friend 🙏💕🕯🕊🇳🇿
Thank you, I was curious.
God please envelop this hurting mother in your arms and give her the grace to slowly heal.
You feel that you’re able to communicate with god via the UA-cam comment section?
@matthewnewton8812
If you had God in your life, you'd realize he's everywhere... I pray you find him and don't leave comments like this in comment sections.
❤️🙏🏻❤️
Amen to that.@@goose7574
@@matthewnewton8812God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent. He can hear everything, see everything, He knows everything. God can bless this woman just because someone ask for it. He can do anything. I pray He saves this poor lady's soul. This much pain is unbearable for anyone. No matter what you believe you should as least send positive vibes her way. To go through so much like this is horrific.
Amen
Rachael, my daughter was killed by her ex-husband when she was 30, in 2016. Her child survived. I know exactly what you mean about the first year; everything is exquisitely painful. The grief never goes away nor does it necessarily lessen, but after the first year it changes from acute into chronic and the loss becomes part of who you are. From there you rebuild. As you are now.
Thank you for your wisdom ❤️
For now I wish you strength🌸
I’m sorry for your loss.
That was well described. I’m sorry for your loss.
Please take care ❤
"...sat and held her hand, and it was still warm"
That is quite literally the absolute worst thing I have ever heard in my 58 years.
May you find some peace in this life.
😢
It's the worst I've ever heard in my 58 years too 😢
You poor, poor dear. My heart goes out to you.
I hope you feel mine and strangers hugs and strength. You're going to need it. You're right, there are no words we can say that will lessen this pain. You are allowed to take this time, feel the pain and slowly with help join life again. It will be a different future for you but you will get through it in Oria's name. She will help you through memories. ❤
I’m watching all the ads because I’m just a broke college student but this poor mama😢
Rest in peace Oria, I am so, so sorry for your loss. ❤❤❤ There aren’t words that can describe the pain you’ve been through, but the fact you had the bravery to speaks volumes about you as a human.
You are one of the bravest women I had the honor of being a part of for the last 30 minutes. I am crushed by your story but find joy that you have peace. Countless blessings to you until you meet your daughter again on the other side.
My heart breaks for the loss of your daughter! Be strong and have faith in God ! Your daughter is with you always! I am sure you see signs of her, she will not leave you ! God bless you !
And a forgiving heart...
So courageous she is for sharing her story.
The healing power of this video…I hope it helps her and so many more. 🤍
I cannot imagine your pain but I hope, somehow, you can rebuild your life in time to remember and honour your precious daughter and fight on. I am sad and so angry you have been through this. 😢 I genuinely hope sharing your experience here helps you. It is brave and raw and you have my respect for doing it. ❤
My Husband was Hawaiian and Samoan, he was a Police Officer, he was murdered almost eight years ago. He will make sure Your Precious Little Angel is safe and will watch over her till you can be back together again. God bless you❤
What a sweet thing to say 💛🙏 I’m sorry for your loss. May he and Oria rest in eternal peace 💛
I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. You just shared such a beautiful, selfless gift with her. This speaks volumes about who you are, and I am thankful the world has you. Lifting you up in prayer.
Oh God bless you honey - I am so sorry you lost your precious husband - a public servant. I pray he is a peace.
That was a beautiful comment❤
I'm so sorry for your loss, and my prayers are with you.
I am so sorry for your loss. No one deserves this. I have been deeply moved by your story. I pray in time you will be able to find some peace. You have a tough journey ahead. Bless you and your heart. Please hold onto life and lean on those close to you.
Oris is waiting to see you in heaven. I lost my son also and work everyday to make the world better (i now make glass flowers). I discovered that nowhere is home and my real home is heaven. Trust God and let him guide, protect and guide you until you will be together with all your loved ones in heaven. I know your pain.
This was the most gut wrenching thing I’ve ever heard. I’m so incredibly sorry .
Had to pause at 10:37 mins in....
Just to say...
Your pain is felt through the screen.
I am in canada.. .
And although I havnt finished the video yet or found out what the police revealed fully... that I am sending you love and prayers and that I hope that God takes away your pain and heart ache and makes everything whole for you ❤
I am sorry honey. Come to my country costa rica . I d like to see you and take you to visit this paradise country. It really hurts me to hear your story
@@josedanielchavarriachevez2087CC B C
Yes yes. How much pain can one heart hold? Thankfully we are all here hoping our presence can soothe this poor mother even a tiny bit.
I lost my daughter to a drug overdose when she was 18. It’s been almost 25 years and still hurts. I feel your pain so sharply. I’m so sorry. So very sorry.
I’m so very sorry for your loss❤️🙏
💔🙏🏼✨
I lost my baby girl to drugs 3 years ago. I miss her so. Love and prayers to you.
I, too, lost my young adult daughter to accidental pharmaceutical toxicity. Today, I heard the last song we sang together in the car. I'm so sorry for your loss. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Amen I will pray for you ❤
Every breath you take is an act of pure courage.
I divorced a violent man,and this was my constant fear. You are having to live that nightmare. I'm so damn sorry. Your story is powerful. Thank you for telling it.
Dear Rachael, You are a really strong woman just by having the courage to share your story. You have my ears, my heart and my love. RIP for your daughter Oria 🙏🏾
I was grumpy today, then I came across your video. Watching you immediately put my whole life into perspective. I will be immensely grateful for everything I have today. Thank you for sharing your story. RIP baby girl.
I know what you mean, I'm a mother to 5 and these last few days have been rough. This video... I couldn't imagine losing a single one of them. I felt her pain, it brought tears to my eyes, I will be content in my circumstances and grateful for each moment. I pray that I never have to know the pain of losing a child.
So so true ❤ God bless this sweet girl!
" I hope he's at peace and has found the love that he so rightly deserves" is not a sentence I would ever have expected to hear you say. I can imagine it's taken an incredible amount of work over the last 12 months to get there, but to possess that level of maturity, forgiveness, understanding and love is extraordinarily inspiring. I sincerely hope you always remember and have the strength to keep spreading your light, because your light has just had a profound impact on me. I'll be working on my compassion and understanding. Thank you, and I'm deeply sorry for your loss.
@@SnakesNSquids you have articulated perfectly what I could not.
my thoughts as well🙏
@@lilli-betheverything u just said is so strange
@@rinnitttyes, shadow is psychoanalyzing her, saying because she knew ashley's mental state that she then must have known he would harm the child. With shadow's thinking it would follow that victims of abuse are guilty for the acts of their abuser. Twisted.
@@lilli-bethI would love to hear YOUR story, the one in which you thought the unthinkable and saved the day. It’s so easy to sit on the sidelines watching tragedy unfold and talk a big game. Watch the news story or see something on the internet that are so many degrees separated from you and your life and make epic declarations about what should or should not have been done. In reality, life isn’t that damned black and white and usually the most righteous and judgmental people are the ones who have exacrly ZERO experience with the ugly grey area reality of situations like these. It takes a special type of cruelty for someone who would point out, to a grieving mother, that it was HER fault that someone else made a horrible and unimaginable decision that cost her her child. The guilt a parent feels when their child dies, accidental, homocide, suicide, cancer, doesn’t matter, can be detrimental and even deadly. Someday I hope you can feel what it’s like to have someone rub your face in the mud and pass judgement on YOU when they know a small fraction of details shared under extreme emotional distress to the point the details might not even be presented properly. Do you feel mighty? Stomping on people you don’t know from the safety of your home and anonymity of the internet? If you don’t like it, shut up and move on. You’re nothing but a bully and everyone knows that a bully does what they do in order to compensate for and hide insecurities over their own personal weaknesses and shortcomings. Only pathetic people force others down so they can raise themselves higher. Unreal.
Lord please comfort this mother and give her the peace that surpasses all understanding!
Amen ❤✝️🙏🏻 I pray for ❤️🩹Healing from head to toe heal your Heart your mind your soul .
😅
😢
IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME
Amen 🙏🏽
Idk why UA-cam recommended me this. I have a toddler and listening to this made me hug her even tighter and just show her more and more love than I usually do. I hope this mom recovers from this and that she keeps strong and healthy. I pray my kid and everyone else’s kids are safe ❤️
To discover it had been planned, not a moment of insanity is devastating. Knowing, as he was sending her pictures, that they would be the last of her precious child. Unimaginable 💔
What a cruel, cruel man.
He even called her to let her know that he was on the way. 😭
@@abigailandino6251😩😩😩😩
Like to brag he had the last moments with her... & clearly he had issues & she wasn't in the wrong to split with him. This is murder & this poor mum got exactly what he planned, complete devastation and misery...
He was a complete sicko who couldn't handle a breakup. He did all that because she got a new boyfriend. He could of killed himself but he had to kill her young daughter to cause her pain the rest of her life. What a sick twisted man.
I’m so sorry for you loss. As a retired police chaplain and a domestic violence counselor. He wanted to control you and taking the thing you love the most was his way to abuse you, to make you feel the pain he felt losing you and his inability to control his own feelings. You won’t get over this loss, but you will get thru it. Life is changed, different now for you and in some way people that hear you story.
May you find a new life, a life impossible without experiencing the love of a child lost. Love is an intangible, yet we all know it’s life changing power. All that love is still here, now.
Namaste
This was a sweet thing to say. Compassionate of you.
Was this guy the classic narcissist? He wasn’t just depressed. If he was, he would have put your daughter some place safe and then finished himself off. He succeeded in weaponizing a little toddler against you bc knew he was losing control of you. He was incapable of rational dialogue. This is the work of the Enemy. The light you have comes from God. Now is the time to turn to Jesus. I am happy for your soul to have found forgiveness in your heart because you will spare yourself the devastating effects of bitterness. He is a healer, the Shepherd of the lambs who choose to be born again and enter His fold.❤
@@radixdudetteAmen, Jesus is the only Way. She will see her baby again in heaven so there is tremendous hope when trusting in the Lord. It doesn’t have to be hopeless or the end. Nothing is hopeless with Jesus. God bless you and this poor woman who has been through hell on earth.
@@radixdudette i think he might have been. This was about control. He was prepared to take the life of an innocent child just so he could destroy the life of his ex. I see there are people judging the mum but this isn't about her, its about the choice to destroy an innocent life. That is just the most vile, disgusting and unforgivable thing anyone can do. I don't care how much you hate your ex or want to ruin them, a child is NEVER a pawn for that. My father was /is a narcissist and behaved terribly towards me and my sister not because we had done anything wrong but because he knew it was the best way to destroy our mum and manipulate her into submission.. This is the most extreme escalation of that , a suicidal narc is the most terrifying jugganaut of revenge and quite dangerous. My father is a terrible human but his need for self preservation means he has limits.
This happens when you drag your child into adult drama
I know that sorrow. I found my daughter's body. There are no words in the world to describe the depths of this grief. I hope this was cathartic for you.
I'm so sorry you lost your daughter. I have 2 daughters and I'm not even able to imagine how it might feel to be in your shoes because it's too painful to think about. So the fact that you are living a reality that i can't even bare to imagine just breaks my heart. I know I'm a random stranger on the internet, but I am sending you all the love i can muster. I don't know if you believe that sort of thing, but I hope my love reaches you and embraces you. I really feel it, so i hope you can too.
My heart aches for you. I wish I had some pithy uplifting words to encourage you, but they seem insultingly hollow. All I can say is I have hope that there will be reunion, someday, and then nothing will part you again, in the world without end. This is my heartfelt prayer to the universe I need to believe has better things in mind for us. My best wishes to you for grace and happy moments to ease the interval until that joyful time.
❤ 🌈 😇
Bless you for your loss. Much love ❤
Oh my lord so so sorry for your loss 😭❤️
I lost the love of my life three years ago under difficult cirumstances. The pain has been crushing. I felt utterly broken for at least a year. I cannot even begin to imagine the agony of losing a child in this way. Keep healing, Rachael. Keep spreading the light. Xxx
I’ve never felt so much pain through a video. I am so sorry for your loss 😓
I think it just changed my life. How I do not know. I've been through tragedies and a hard life. It all made me who I am now but one malignant narcissist who took his life before I could bring up legal charges for things he had done to me and my family in just a few months of dating.
He was so jealous that he would rudely stop me from praying 🤷🏻♀️
I'm trying to find peace but it's not easy especially with all the hate, judgement and wicked things going on and sick people in the world.
With everything I've been dragged through and lost loved ones etc
THIS story moved me tonight to be more open to let peace and tranquility back into my life.
To take care of my mental health and health in general.
THIS woman's story moved me tonight.
I'm watching the funeral service for Oria as I write this message to you.
These videos popped up in my suggestions and I wholeheartedly believe she was godsent, it was meant to be. 🙏🏼
God bless you 🙏🏼
Ikr
To say “I’m in pain hurting every day but it’s my goal to spread light” that is strength when you have none❤
❤
You are such a strong, brave lady. I'm so sorry x
The crushing immense pain of grief is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I’m so so very sorry for your loss.
I listened to every work you said and I cried with you. I can’t even comprehend, I don’t want to, but please know that I wish you so much peace and healing and love. Your strength through your pain is incredible. I can’t wait to see what you do next and I’ll be rooting for you all the way. Your girl would be so so proud of her mummy xxx
This pulled my heart strings. I lost my daughter Aug 25, 2023 almost a year ago..My heart grieves for this woman because there is absolutely nothing that is harder than loosing a child, especially this way. I know a lady that lost 3 children in a car accident... It's the most empty feeling there is. It never goes away. 😢😢...God bless you.
2 Corinthians 1:3,4
John 5:28
I lost my son, 17, Aug 27, 2023. My heart hurts for you mama ❤️
I’m so sorry. I wish you peace.
Same. A drunk driver hit the woman and she was also terribly injured. No parent should have to bury a child. Let alone three. Prayers to your friend. 🙏🏻
I'm so sorry for your lost also
I keep trying to form a "comment" that conveys my emotion and pain I feel watching this. It is not possible.
I know what you mean ❤
@@HarleyChiky ⚡️cuz we want soo much to find a way to ease her pain 😥💔🙏🏽
I feel the same ❤
@@winterlite3243because Father God is the only one who can ease her pain. Her little girl is in Heaven waiting on her. Waiting in perfect peace. Waiting with Jesus and all our family and other children. She waits on her mother to finish growing up.
I know these things because this is what the Lord told me about my babies in Heaven, since I miscarried them.
These WORDS OF LIFE came from the Lord THE MAKER OF LIFE so He soothed my soul and depression left me. And, joy overwhelmed my heart.
The LORD is Good and His mercy endures forever and ever.
Add me to this list. I have no words. It broke my heart to hear this story & I want to help - to reach out - to say we are here for you. But it seems so flat. No one knows your pain. You are in my prayers 🙏🏼
You may not hear Oria say "mummy" out loud any more... but when you close your eyes and think of her, you'll hear her beautiful voice and see her beautiful face... she is and will be with you always, in your heart and memories. 👼💖
I send you love for your healing, and hope for this next chapter in your life 💕💕
I am so sorry for your loss x
Your capacity for compassion and forgiveness is remarkable. Through your whole video I was just amazed at your empathy of those around you, even people you didn’t know, and how you worried about how they were feeling. And the fact that you could come to forgive the monster who murdered your daughter is unbelievable! Your heart is beautiful and your face is lovely. God has a special plan and future for a precious woman like you. I’m terribly sorry for your horrific loss and pray for your healing and peace. Let God use you and bless you. You have a unique perspective to help others. I pray you will get to be a mum again when you are ready. I will always remember your story and continue to keep you in my prayers.
My son put your video in my face. I just know he did. He passed less than 2 months ago. He’s been directing me and protecting me. I am so broken. As I know you are. But darling girl, I will tell you that you are shining light through sharing your painfully tragic story. Tears flowed for your pain and for my own. My son is trying to help heal me through your story. Continue to find your light, your purpose, yourself. One day I hope you can find joy as well. ❤
Thank you for being open to his communications because I can’t imagine how much effort he goes through to let you know he is okay. I wish I would have kept a journal of “signs” that were sent. My heart goes out to you and I’m so sorry that you lost your son. Thank you for posting your comment. It gives others hope. Sending virtual hugs. 🦋🦋🦋 You know deep down inside he’s okay, but your heart and mind are in shock right now. You should watch videos on YT about NDE (Near death experiences.) That helped me a lot. I’m here if you need me. 🙏🏼
I feel the same way. I lost my son too.
God bless you. My great grandson was killed by 2 oilfield trucks. He was 6. We bury him tomorrow and are unable to view him because of the severe damage.
@@ritablackmon5162 Prayers for you and your family my deepest condolences
@@crazeelotta thank you
I'm so sorry for the unbearable loss of your beautiful daughter.
Family annihilation is a tragic phenomenon that needs to be discussed Very brave of this courageous survivor to share her heartbreaking story I hope it can help prevent any one considering such an horrendous hateful end to something that began with so much love.
Oh my god my heart is absolutely broken after watching your story and the pain that I’m feeling watching it. I can’t stop crying and the backs of my eyeballs hurt like a headache so I can only imagine the pain you’re going through. I’ve lost both of my brothers at a very young age but to be your baby girl and the man you once loved. Mental health is such a hard thing for people to wrap their heads around unless they’ve experienced it with someone in their family or themselves. I liked your video with such a heavy heart but I’ve done it because you made it possible with your words.
I’m sending you an enormous virtual hug and I will follow your journey with you.
You are such a strong young woman for making this video and you will obviously never feel the same again but you will have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and sharing this with the world and being so vulnerable.
My thoughts will always be with you after watching this but who couldn’t. 😢❤
This video just popped up , my god, i can't even begin to tell you how much pain i felt for you watching this, only a mum could understand this pain, the father of my child also didnt accept the breakup of our relationship, and i can't even begin to tell you the fear i had of what he may do, im so sorry Rachael, just want to send you lots of love and hugs xx
It pop up on mine aswell
@@private8937I'm so sorry, it must be hard to find the worst in everything. That was a nice comment.
@@private8937Really? I wonder what the Lord thought of your comment. That was mean
Ewwww troll
Stop the stupid question on a grieving mom@@private8937
I think I can safely say that everyone who watched this sobbed along with you as the story unfolded. I’m so, so sorry. I am amazed that you prayed for peace, healing, and love for Ashley after what he had done - that shows what an incredible soul you are. I am praying hard for the same for you. 🙏💖
So true are Your words. But if I was in Her shoes I just couldnt imagine my feelings. She will never be the same but hope Her Family will be thete to comfort and hold Her and Ashley close to Their 💔
You are such a forgiving woman. Not only are you working through your immeasurable grief, but you’re thinking of others while doing so. You are so strong and kind.
34:29 34:29 34:29
So sorry for not understanding how it works.......but to give Rose all my love and strength to get through. You're not alone, never so accept all the kindness and support from caring people that you don't even know. Just allow God's love to fill you and keep your memories close to you.
I'm so sorry for you and your near ones.
So much love
I feel like everyone criticising him he was clearly in pain too to take his own life
@@OliviaClough-o9k i agree, the life of himself and his daughter. he must've loved Oria
I am so so sorry for your loss! My heart hurts so much for you and as I listened to your story I tried to imagine what that must have felt like. I know you will see her again and have the chance to raise her. She will be with you all your life just waiting to see you! I pray the rest of your life will be peaceful and that you can someday, somehow, feel joy again
I was crushed by your video. For me, it was a reminder to not dwell on petty misfortunes, and appreciate the resiliance of those truly damaged. I take inspiration from you.
I felt this exactly. Rachael’s pain, horrendous to share part of was also healing in a way.
One day at a time Rachael; keep on keeping on. 🫂🫂
What an incredibly wise and validating thing to say❤
Me as well, she's a true fighter. Oh the lives we live. What we survive, it's amazing
I lost my son too, also in a deliberate act. His name was Timothy. I got a similar phone call..the police were at my house...so when you described it I relived my drive all over again. Already knowing my life would never be the same once I arrived. Your descriptions of everything were all so similar to my story. I collapsed when the officer told me Timothy was gone. I remember vividly thinking that I wish whoever was screaming would shut up...and then I realized it was me. I cried with you through your whole video. I'm so sorry for your loss of both your daughter and her Dad and that you had to go through the traumatic experience with the press after. You'll be in my prayers ❤🙏
I love and think its so important you said "my daughters name IS Oria" and "her fathers name WAS Ashley" people may not understand why that wording is so important and powerful, but i do. You will always be her mother. Sending love and strength from Australia
That’s exactly what I was thinking as tears stream down my face feeling so much empathy for her no mother should ever bury their child
This sounds terrible. It doesnt come off the way you think. Its psychopathic
@SwampFoxMike how so swamp lad. Are gonna explain or just insult without it like you have a right. Seems fairly psychopathic in itself
@@SwampFoxMike Yup. Justice for Ashley...
@@JLYT2024 either both "is" or both "was"
You have reached a level of consciousness that not many women will ever reach. You will rise from this. You are the strongest woman I know.
I am so sorry for your pain, and if I could lessen it I would. May the angels wrap you in their love as they hold your daughter. Our bodies die, but We do Not die. Google NDE of Anita Moorjani. The cruelty of your ex-husband is unfathomable. Know that those of us who experienced similar are sending the warmth of our love in hope that it will at least ease your pain and grief, even if it is just a bit.
I lost a daughter, Chelsea, on April 4, 1987. The sane day that she was born. My daughter in law, who is pregnant, called and told me her due date is April 4. Her name will be Emma or Emily. ❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🦋🦋
I am so so sorry for your loss. I could feel your pain through the screen, and i bawled my eyes out. Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking story, you are extremely brave. I don’t know how you’re doing now, but i want to tell you that it will all hurt less one day. Just know that you’re loved and things will be okay. Sending lots of love
As a woman, I am so proud of you getting through this year. Sending you so much love.
Unbelievable the waves of grief caused by such a traumatic loss. A mom just knows when something happens to a child and I’m so so sorry Rachael.
Rachael, I don't have the words to express how very, very sorry I am. God bless and keep you 🙏
I have never...never ever in my 58 years on earth felt someone else's pain so viscerally. Oh my heart 😞 Darling I am so, so sorry. Your precious girl. You will ALWAYS be her mummy and she will always be your daughter. I am subscribing.... I know you will make something of your life and Oria will be so proud. I'm sending you so much love and positive energy. ❤️
58 years here and i feel the same, so painful to hear , can’t imagine , just can’t imagine 💔💔
I’m just a kid… I can’t ever understand this pain that you feel… However, my heart goes out to you and all the other people who have had to experience such disastrous events. No one deserves such cruel things happen to them. I know for a fact that your daughter is looking down at you and supporting you through life because she loves you so much! There really isn’t much I can say, but as a child, I want you to know that you have a whole world here for you and that even though this pain will forever stay with you, it will eventually lock away and, while it may not heal, it will give you hope and positivity that everything in your future will get better. Know that your daughter is there for you every second of your life, taking care of you, loving you, and keeping you safe, because you are the most important thing to her and while she feels your pain, she wants you to be happy, she wants you to remember all the good memories and be proud of who you are and who you will become. So if you can’t heal for yourself, try doing it for her…and know that no matter what she will forever be there for you and LOVE YOU!!! 💚🩵💙
Consider this message faith… From a kid, to another kid, to the world, to you… She wants you to know she loves you!
I have done autopsies on probably somewhere close to a hundred children of various ages (I was a forensic pathologists assistant). I did my job with the greater care than I have done anything in my life for children. Adults I could handle, my mind justifying that they'd lived some life at least. I was still empathetic, but children are completely innocent in almost all circumstances. Those cases chipped away at me until I had a mental breakdown and couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how people spend their whole lives doing this sort of thing. Those who work with death are truly unsung hero's.
This made me absolutely lose it. You and your family will forever be in my thoughts
Thank you for your service, what a heartbreaking role
❤ Having a breakdown is certainly not pleasant but it's your mind and body saying...I can't do this anymore ❤
There ain't nothing wrong with that. Take care of your soul. You have a good one ❤
Thank you for what you do ❤
@@miracles-f2oAmen🙏🏼❤
i was thinking the exact same thing !!!!! i just don't know HOW people can do those types of jobs !!!!! first responders, or drs or MEs..... NOT when kids are involved !!!!! 💔💔
I also want to say that the fact that you felt so badly for the officer that guarded your baby girl after she died- shows what a caring and empathetic person you truly are. Your daughter is always with you. I know that doesn't help right now but i hope you feel her presence and see her in your dreams. I am not a religious person but my thoughts are with you and I truly hope for you to have more good days than bad.
Bless your heart, you're in my prayers
Beautifully articulated. Thank you.
❤don't you want to go to heaven....or burn in the Lake of Fire 🔥 for all eternity....ask Jesus into your heart today, He's the only way to heaven, now I've told you, it's up to you to make the choice...Jesus or Satan...there is no in-between...just believe that Jesus died as payment for your sin and was buried and rose from the dead and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior ❤
@@lovesJesus448there is a time and a place and as a Reverend i can advise you neither of those is right now. Please try to have some common decency and respect instead of copying and pasting generic unrelated comments everywhere
@@courtneygreene7213god bless u, this was well said 💜
Your grief is so big and tearing that it reaches through your words. My heart breaks for you.
Your story made me nauseous because I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I watched every second of you telling your story and felt your pain every time you cried. I’m praying for your healing and for you to be reunited with Oria in whatever comes after this lifetime, whether it’s heaven or reincarnation or simply waking up from a really bad dream. Stay strong and live the life that you wished for Oria. My heart and prayers are with you ❤️🌸
The most horrific raw pain I think I’ve ever seen. I am so sorry and I’m thinking of you. Why is this life so unfair.
Dear sweet Racheal, as a Mum who has lost a child in difficult circumstances ..aand to the others who have commented I send you my loving wishes and comfort on your next journey and one day we will meet our darlings again in joy . Much love xx
UA-cam just recommended this video to me. I sat here crying the entire time with my 2 daughters, age 1 & 2.
I was just begging their father to drive us to the store because he had promised he would. He just got back from a 12 hour shift and he's extremely tired. I was being so selfish because I wanted to go shopping... I'm happy I still have my family.. I see now that I was taking it for granted... I'm not bothering him.. I'm letting him get his sleep so we can get there safely.
Wise choice of thinking. I think this woman's light has started spreading.🙏
You are INCREDIBLY STRONG! My hearts breaks because of this. I’m soo deeply sorry that you have to go through this. You are a wonderful lady and I’m sure you’ll have the opportunity to be a mommy again. Things will align for you again. All the best! ❤️❤️
The fact that this amazing mother makes comments several times about how bad she felt for others who were involved in this tradedy speaks volumes for the kind person she is inside. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you go thru. I pray for your comfort and peace, although I know it escapes you. 😢❤😢❤😢❤
Amen. It's clear she's a kind and caring parson.
So so very sorry for you
Right?! The way she wept for the police officer who likely deals with this regularly made me cry even more for her💔😔 Just watching her(a complete stranger) talk about this is causing me physical pain right now, my heart literally hurts, and my stomach is in knots...I cannot even BEGIN to fathom how she felt when it happened, recording/posting this, and every day since. I truly don't know if I could go on, and she's so strong for choosing to every day. I really hope that this video(or anything else) gave her some sense of closure and I'm glad she recorded it so that she never has to speak these words again if she doesn't want to but wants somebody to know or understand. I wish her so much healing, peace, support, love, and comfort. And if she wants to, I really hope she has the chance to have more children and a family again, not that it will ever lessen her grief, but just add so much more love and heal parts of her broken heart. On the other hand, I wonder if losing a child makes some women just never want to even risk potentially having to go through it again😔
On a semi-related note, my grandma(in-law) lives with us now, and there are a lot of great, active people her age in our neighborhood and community. But, because she's lost SO many loved ones, she refuses to make friends bc she just can't bear even 1 more loss. She was orphaned as it was, and then lost her brother when she was 5. Then she lost multiple friends, 2 husbands, both her children and her step children, her God child, a neice and 2 nephews. She's 76 and was very stong and healthy while working/socializing, but she's been deteriorating ever since she moved here(where she knows nobody, 2.5 years ago) and just refuses to meet people or have friends. It's tragic, and sometimes I catch her just holding jewelry, pictures or staring at the night sky while crying and it breaks my heart knowing how much pain she's in 24/7. I can tell she's really starting to want to go "home"💔😔
I feel your pain. My 18 yr old son was killed in a car accident 16 years ago, my then oldest surviving son was 26 when he was a pedestrian killed by a driver high on fentanyl, 6 years ago. My mother passed away the day we buried him. Ive managed to go on in life and am at the point i can function, but i remember that moment when my first son passed 16 yrs ago, "i will truly never be happy again, for the rest of my life". In those years since, i remember my boys with a smile in my heart when i think of them & i try to do that as often as possible, more so than the times i still break down & cry. I wish you peace and strength on your journey...
I'm so very sad to read what you've been through.
Oh my heart breaks for you. What an incredibly strong woman you are. I know you are spreading the light and love enough for all three of you. God bless you ❤
Im so terribly sorry and I know there’s nothing I can say to take the pain away. You give me hope to live if anything happened to my two boys. When my husband died (military fighter pilot) I was 3.5 months pregnant. I understood how people died from grief. It was so deep…and lasts forever. And that’s not the death of a child, let alone two. But here you are, giving complete strangers hope to go on, to live one more day….because you have…and I thank you for that. Sending huge virtual hugs. 🦋🦋🦋
We must trust God, I won't give you my story, pain is it's own story, we can only trust God threw our screams we can only trust God, peace will find you
I really cannot imagine what you had to go through. My deepest sympathy! I hope you can find calmness of the soul and even some happiness in your life.
I wish you the very best!
I’m just a 13 year old guy. but I want to say I’m very proud of you, and I hope you have a great life, may Oria and Ashley rest in peace. I’m very sorry for all the pain you’ve been through, and I hope it gets better, thank you for sharing oria and Ashley’s story.
What a sweet young man!
You are a kind and wise young man ❤
Well said young man 🫶🏼
I'm proud of you too kiddo. Very sweet of you. ❤
What a kind and compassionate young man you are! So proud of you, kid 🙏🏻
Don't call it "keep on fighting" call it "keep on living". ❤ Your story is a message of life. I lost my sister 26 years ago in a car crash. My mother is 82, and she keeps on living. You are not alone in your experience and you never will be. ❤
This is truly encouraging. I also lost my sister suddenly last year December. I miss her terribly, some days are harder than others. My parents are having a hard time at the moment. I do pray for better days.
I’m so deeply sorry for your loss.I cannot even imagine how much anxiety and pain you felt.I hope that your daughter and Ashley will be safe in heaven.Im so sorry for your loss.Sending condolences to you.
I believe videos like yours that randomly pop up in the algorithm is somehow the energy of the ones who have passed bringing love and comfort to those that are left behind. You are not alone in this world or your grief, we were all brought here to bring you support from around the world. Let your tears flow. Let your pain out. You are not alone
I was trying to digest her pain, and find the words to confort her, then I read your comment……thank you, nicely put….many blessings and prayers 💕💕💕💕
No parent should ever feel that pain. Sending much love. 🤍
Dear heavenly Father please give this woman strength and peace. I can only imagine her pain and sorrow. Please wrap your loving arms around her.
Bless you for forgiving Ashley, I'm not quite there yet myself and had some choice words for him, but I understand your forgiveness. I'm so sorry.
Brave Mom. You will see Oria again one day.
Our stories parallel, I lost my daughter at 6 months in a similar way. Grief is hard, nobody can tell you when or where you may find relief. It’s been over 30 years for me, and I can’t finally talk about her without crying. I’m grateful to say, my miracle baby arrived many years later, and my world has healed. I pray yours will, too.
My fiancé passed away in May, in a motorcycle accident. Your story gave me so many flashbacks of how I found out, and the times. It made me absolutely sick to my stomach, I still feel it some days. He left our daughter & I behind.
I am so incredibly sorry, I could never imagine losing my baby. Thinking of you, mama ❤
The hardest times are the most unexpected.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sincere blessings to you 🙏💚
Its horrible and i undestand perfectly you, my husband died january 2023, we found him in the bed our daugther 2 years old and me. He was not sick. Heart stop.
Sorry for words, im french ...
Thoughts and prayers for you. ❤
So sorry, my heart goes out to you. Hugs to you and your little girl. I'm wishing you peace, comfort and strength
@@Lo.A2023I'm so sorry 😞
You have much more grace than I. I wouldn't care about his peace, ever. He HAD love. His daughter loved him. Pure and true love. He was a selfish bastard. He didn't care about your peace or her happiness. He wanted to inflict pain and be vengeful. What an awful person. I'm sure you needed to forgive and find your own peace, and I hope you can continue to heal. I just hear a lot of these stories if men killing their own children to hurt their mothers and it makes me so angry. I just can't see them as anything except evil
I agree
I read up on this and in his letter he said "there was a sense of relief and calm knowing the end of life was near' and he was 'going to be with my daughter.” - I sincerely hope that guy is in hell where he belongs and got a rude awakening upon arriving that he will forever be separated from her.
I will continue praying that this woman is like job in the bible where everything was taken from him by evil and God gave job back twice what he had before. I'm impressed that she's forgiven him but only bc that's the healthiest thing for her, but he doesn't deserve it. Biblical forgiveness does not mean what someone did to you is ok, it just means you aren't going to let it affect you any longer. She's honestly being too nice to him.
@@Trogdor1365 BTW, there's evidence that he killed her before the crash.
@@IWriteEssaysSorry Yes, according to The Daily Mail, Ashley Henry suffocated her before driving into the Lorry. I really hope there's a hell.
@IWriteEssaysSorry so fvcking sick. He _was_ with his daughter. Her mother did not keep the baby from him. Did he think that baby didn't want to be with her mommy? No. He wasn't thinking about her. He didn't care about "being with" her. He cared about controlling her mom, and when he couldn't do that, he just wanted to inflict pain. I despise people who use children to hurt the other parent.
You are definitely making Oria proud ❤Following your journey from here to see how you achieve everything you desire . I am sorry for all the turbulent of emotions you are going through . I will be praying for you and so will so many of this amazing audience you have . Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us . Love you ❤❤❤
I lost my baby too. We had just found out her gender. Me and my abusive ex got into an argument and I ended up getting out of his car and was going to walk home. I slammed the door. He didn’t say anything he just sped off and I kept walking. He came back around and hit me with his car. I think I flew like 15 feet. I was on the ground. It was a blur. He got out of his car and came up over me and said “that’s what you get for slamming my door”. I begged him to take me to the hospital. I wasn’t even worried about me. I was worried about the baby. My baby. My baby girl. He dropped me off at the hospital. And left me there. He’s a police officer. He used to threaten to unalive me all the time when we got into arguments and fights. I was scared of him. And I knew if I said something he’d unalive me along with my baby girl and get away with it because he’s one of THOSE corrupt police officers. I left him after that publicly saying that the abuse “stressed me out” into having a miscarriage … I posted that on socials. He started lying in the comments saying I aborted his child without his consent. So on top on me grieving my baby being gone, I had to deal with his lies and family and friends sending me dêǎth threats. I never got to meet my baby girl the way you had with your baby girl. But I do feel like I feel your pain in a way. I am so sorry for your loss. I am so so so sorry.
I'm sorry for your loss and that you had to endure that 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I am sorry for the trauma and abuse you are going through it seems I am hearing more about abuse from police within their marriage Abuse is ugly and painful from those who (supposedly) love you
😢😔😢
I am so sorry for all the abuse you've suffered as well as the loss of your baby. No one deserves that and then to have lies spread to demean you and have your life threatened. I'm praying that you heal mentally and physically and that your life will be full of love,laughter and all the joy your heart can hold.❤❤❤❤
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you have erased him from your life for good and will never endure abuse again , from anyone.
I'm so very sorry for your loss and what you've been through. I'm glad to know though I'm not the only one who had been married to a cop that was abusive and threatened to end me if we got into fights. He tried to forcibly get me pregnant and I did my best to make sure I didn't as I knew my life and the kids life would be hell if we were attached to him. This comment is the first time I've publicly spoken out about it because of your story. Much love to you and your heart mamas. Your baby girl is with you always. ❤
The strength that this mother has only one year after her whole world collapsed is just amazing. I couldn't imagine losing a child this way, and definitely would not be near as strong as she is. Our thoughts and prayers are with her and her family. My God hold their hands and guide them through this difficult journey.
I stumbled upon this while trying to distract myself from thinking about how I miss and want my son back, so badly, but agonize over the last ten years after losing him. I know that he wanted me to see this and even though it doesnt take my pain away, your amazing selflessness makes me a little stronger. God bless you sweetheart, your little Oria and all those who love her still.
Sending lots of love, prayers, and healing. My chest feels so heavy hearing your story. I am so so sorry. I will be praying for you and the little angel’s soul. The world and its ways are so unfair and cruel. I am so sorry 🙏🏻
May we who’ve witnessed your retelling of events help lift this pain off of your shoulders. This grief is much too heavy a burden for one. Bless you 🙏🏻
Beautifully said
This is the most saddening story time I’ve ever heard. Jesus, please wrap your arms around her and give her comfort. 😢
That he could do that deliberately is beyond horrific. To take your sweet baby girl’s life to what end? To spite you? I’m so angry but so filled with sorrow at the same time. I can’t properly express how sorry I am for your loss. I’m heartbroken.
I think it's more complicated than spite. Somebody suffering with mental illness, is just that. Mentally ill. You can't see it like a lost limb. But mental health can deteriorate to the point it kills you. It's a horrifically tragic situation. One that that will be exponentially more involved than simple spite xx
@@carlydriver9741It's not mental illness. It's straight up evil.
@@carlydriver9741 very well stated. Thank you for your comment.
No it's because the person who commits suicide is so in pain themselves they can't even put it into words and they don't know how because they were not allowed to experience emotions or Express themselves and they were so stifled and destroyed in their own childhood, everyone carries their childhood stuff into adulthood without knowing they're doing it. And they're running on those subconscious programs. They want to offload their pain into another and they want someone else to connect with them and feel that level of pain that they think is so deep. The people that I know have committed suicide really do just want to get back to source energy, to creator, to the light...... so that they don't have to feel pain. And perhaps, since children are high vibrational light beings, just as animals are which is why animals and children connect so well... there are those who cannot be around children because they are authentic and transparent, and then there are those who want to engulf them, similar to the movie poltergeist. Suck their energy, so to speak. People are not thinking and coming from the headspace when they're in a lot of pain in their lives, they're running on programs that are programmed within the body for survival, to navigate and survive each day, even if they're not actually experiencing the same situation that they did in childhood, because they cannot see things with clarity, because of the childhood trauma and emotional neglect and abuse.
You must always dig deep into someone else's childhood but we must always dig deep first into our own, and introspect and do our healing, in order to bring a healthy child into the world..... however most people's childhoods are traumatic, even if it is a parent that wasn't fully present, animated and engaged and encouraging and supportive, honoring and cherishing the child and setting them up for success, Uno's parents do their children such damage if they don't create their own joy and happiness in their own lives within themselves first..... so they're not draining and sucking from the children... and trauma abuse and neglect is often covert and families, parents especially😢 put on a show for the outside world. And then people minimize their trauma and neglect because they think it's no longer occurring in the physical world, but yet it has impacted them in so many subconscious ways, they cannot even imagine😢
@@jenifernadeau wow, you wrote all that bs to excuse a disgusting family annihilator who was jealous and insecure at the thought of his ex moving on and that another man might be involved in his daughters life. Gross.
Somehow I found your video and felt the same way as the other nice souls wrote above that I couldn't leave you behind while you were so brave to share your feelings and the painful memories with us.
I am a single mom, my boy means the world to me. I cried with you and I am hugging you virtually. I am in Hungary, would love to have you here as my guest if you ever want to visit Hungary! Sending you so much love, you are one brave soul and your beautiful daughter is proud of you! ❤
I met a woman whose ex-husband did the same thing to his ex-wife, but in a different manner. He set the house afire after he shot their daughter, then he killed himself and the house burned down around them. I can’t imagine the pain you and this woman feel. I’d scream until I couldn’t scream any longer, until I collapsed. When I feel extreme intractable pain mixed with rage and innumerable other emotions, I pace and walk and can’t stop moving, just can’t stop. I cry until I can’t breathe and fall asleep from utter exhaustion waking a few hours later only to do it all over again. Please be around good friends and family even if you don’t feel like it. Force yourself. You have to. It will be difficult, but you must. It will get easier if you let it. I don’t know what the right words are. I just know pain and what I had to do to heal. I have only my experience to draw from. You’ve taken a huge first step by setting aside your anger with Ashley. Anger is all consuming and takes far too much energy. It’s better to forgive. You appear to be a very strong person. The words you speak would make me believe you are.
@@cynthiaamitrano8915I found it difficult to eat after the death of my dad. My boss took me to lunch one day and it helped so much. We must eat, and eat decently. We need the vitamins and protein, etc. And yes, if you don't want to visit with people, be among people such as a coffee shop or grocery store. Say hello to people there. Also the lights are bright at grocery stores and that helps.
When I had severe depression, I was not functioning well. Had a hard time preparing food (grateful for people who brought meals). I kept the curtains closed. The darkness and isolation did not help the worries and depression so I was hospitalized to be safe and get on medicine which helped. I thankfully was able to return to work. Sometimes women, after their husband dies, don't cook dinner anymore. They have lost their role. Sometimes don't think enough of themselves to eat a real meal.
I'd react the same way. Cry copiously, walk, run non-stop aimlessly until I fell on the floor, exhausted. Just to repeat it when I woke up. This planet is a mystery. A cruel and unfair mystery.
Oh my darling. You took me right back to the day my son passed away in a house fire, he was 3. I felt every emotion with you. Some of the last pictures I have of my son are in Skegness, having a great time, he didn't want to come home. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Jesus saved me or I'd never have made it through. He was my only child. It's his birthday next week and it's so hard. Thankyou for sharing your story and precious Oria with us. Rest in peace sweetheart. I'm praying for you Hun. God bless you ❤❤
So sorry ❤
Thankyou ❤@@nikkireigns
So sorry for your loss, this is such a hard time for you, I can only imagine. I do hope you celebrate your son's birthday. I am sure he is with you every step of the way! Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story too.
Thank you so much for this beautiful message, even more beautiful because today is my Son's birthday.
Much love
Kelly@@naturallywonder1279
My the Lord continue ro comfort you. I too have 1 beloved child. I fear thia very thing. Sending you hugs and praying for you. X
Rachael, yours is one of the saddest stories I've heard. I can't imagine what it feels like to lose a child. You and your family are in my prayers with the hope that God wraps you in His arms while you grieve. Having worked in a hospital emergency room, I have had to bear witness when a parent is told their child is not coming home and it's always heartbreaking. I've sat with many a mother, held her hand, wiped her tears and held them. I know you will keep Oria alive in your heart and I can promise you, one day you'll see her again. Do what you need to do to care for yourself. When I've lost a loved one, therapy helped. While that will never take the pain away, it will help you find your way out of the darkness of grief. Make a positive memorial for her life like a foundation or even plant a memory garden. I know you'll visit her grave often, but if you have a personal memorial to her, you can bring the joy of who your daughter was into the light and have something beautiful for everyone to remember her. God bless you and as I stated, I'll be praying for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss.. they will always be thinking of you up in heaven, may they rest in peace🕊💗💗
Not only did you lose a child but you lost that child at the hands of someone that you loved. I have no words that can measure your sorrow so just know I’m so sorry ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤ sending love❤️ ❤️ ❤❤❤❤❤
I used to work in DV and I've seen and heard all kinds of horrific violence, but nothing compares to murdering the child or loved one of the ex partner. It is the cruelest act of violence and control. You are an incredible person to commit to living and surviving and finding new ways to be in this world. You and Oria did not deserve this. ❤
You can survive this. My daughter was shot and killed on April 10th, 2022. I didn't think I could survive the absolutely soul crushing agony that followed. The pain never goes away, but eventually, you adjust, and you expand to accommodate the grief and loss. One day, you realize you are feeling something lighter, something less than the constant pain and loss. You start to have periods throughout your day that you could even call happy. The loss and pain are always in the background, but other, lighter emotions will come back eventually, as well. When that starts to happen, let it. Life goes on, even though it seems like everything ends or should end with loss like this. It's no betrayal to your lovely, precious girl to live and love again after her loss. You honor her memory by living the best life you can and keeping her alive in your memory and the memories of those that can also find joy in them. It takes time, and that's ok too, it takes as long as it takes. There are no rules or standards to follow. Each person surviving such loss has their own journey on the road to rejoin the world of the living, after. It is intensely personal and unique to the individual. I wish you all the healing and peace possible in your journey back. With Love, Peace, and Hope, a fellow traveler.
Well said, my dear; well said. You have my deepest sympathies on the tragic taking of your precious daughter. Much love to you from another fellow traveler.❤🩹
May the Grace and Peace of our Savior comfort you ❤
Our pastor and his wife lost their third child well over 10 years ago and the grief still lives with them; one statement I remember they made is that you will never lose the need at times to go into your closet to cry out your grief. Do not punish yourself for giving in to that grief for the moment, but know that you cannot remain in the closet because you still have your life to live.
What a wonderful comment. I too lost a daughter. It is a pain like no other. She was on life support and it was not helping her at all. I don't know if I'm lucky or cursed but I was holding on to my sweet girl when she took her last breath. The doctor came to check her and I screamed at him "She's gone. Leave her alone". He was just doing his job but I was filled with anger. That anger turned to rage. My marriage fell apart. But we have another daughter and I had to go on for her. The pain never ever goes away but we learn to deal. Every milestone my daughter reached I secretly thought your sister would be doing this. Yet we move forward. And we learn to laugh. We learn to love. We learn to live again, even though it is a different life. Thanks for your kind words. I wish peace for you, peace for this woman as well as a more positive future. God bless you all❤
@mesalily-TeHWoRld what an incredible woman you are, you had the strength and fortitude to do what was best for her, and free her from her broken body. Thank you, Mama, for that, so much Peace and Love to you.
And this is honestly the first time I have not been able to turn a video off early…your words are truly a gift and I completely appreciate you for them❤
A friend of mine lost her husband and 4 yo daughter in a horrific car accident. Foolish driver hit hem. They passed on impact. It was so hard on her and hard for us that loved them. Im so sorry..no parent should lose a child. 🙏
❤ 🌈 🙏
No mother should have to bury their child. UA-cam actually recommended this while I'm feeling particularly hopeless about my situation in life and it's a much a needed reminder that I'd never want to put my own mother through that, no matter how hard things have gotten for me. I'm so sorry your daughter never had a choice. So I know this was extremely hard for you to talk about and subtitle and upload, but thank you so much for doing so. You are helping people in so many ways and deserve only good things and kindness.
It's been one month since you left this comment..I hope you are doing/feeling better🩷
I haven't replied to any other comments but I wanted you to know you aren't alone..
You are loved..You are special..You would be greatly missed, especially by your mother..Coming from a mother of 2 daughters..I feel your pain and hope this makes you feel loved, even if its just by a stranger..We will get through this 🩷 ;
So Sorry that you lost your precious child in such a horrific way. The pain will get better but it will never go away. I lost my son 10 yrs ago and it still hurts so much. I pray that you continue to heal so that you can have a life again and maybe even be happy. God bless you.
@@KrissyB24_7 gosh, thank you so much! Your reply has me smiling like a dope at 2am haha. All the best to you and your daughters. : )
losing a husband, wife, parents is painful, but losing a child..there are no words to compare or explain. the pain is so great..the soul disintegrates, it tears you apart..i never imagined that the soul could tremble, that it could physically hurt. i always ask my son to appear in my dreams so that i can hold him in my arms, tight, to ease my longing for him.
Every person, every incident, and every death is different. Please don’t compare pain with others in such a general way.
@@graceg3250 - have you lost children? i lost... so i speak from personal experience. everyone is an online expert and a psychologist to others. take care of your life and stop making baseless remarks.
i’m so sorry for your loss. i hope your son has appeared, or will appear. he’ll always be with you 🙏🏻
@@elizabethhoffman5895 - thank you very much for your nice words.
Omgosh sweet angel… this was by far the most profound and humbling video I’ve ever had the honor of watching. Thank you for taking the time to share something so personal with us. I cried with you. Such a painful experience you’ve been through and yet you are honoring your daughter and pushing on. It’s changing lives. May God give you the peace you so desperately deserve. ❤️🩹